Shows
At Last She Said ItEpisode 188: Jesus and the Canaanite Woman | Cynthia's Sacrament Meeting Talk“If you lift up a prism, depending on how you slightly turn it, the light will hit different facets, refracting and coming out in different ways. That's how I like to approach the scriptures,” explains Cynthia, “Turning them just ever so slightly to see what different meanings there could be.” In Episode 188, she turns her personal prism on the story of Jesus and the Syrophoenician woman, exploring some interpretations of the unique dialog between them. It’s a short story touching on big themes including vulnerability, growth, faith, persistence, and inclusiveness. Then Susan joins and together they dive a little deeper into...2024-07-0255 min
At Last She Said ItEpisode 154: What About Racism? | A Conversation with Tamu Smith“What could a Relief Society lesson on racism look like?” “What do you wish other members of the Church knew about what it’s like to be a Black Latter-day Saint in 2023?” Cynthia asked Tamu Smith these questions and more as they visited in Cynthia’s kitchen with the recorder running. In Episode 154, Tamu shares her personal insights and answers in a wide-ranging, thoughtful conversation between two good friends.2023-10-031h 09
At Last She Said ItBONUS: Ask Us Anything |ALSSI'S Third Anniversary Part 2Enjoy dessert with Susan, Cynthia, and Blakelee in this continuation of ALSSI's Ask-Us-Anything Third Anniversary podcast celebration.2023-04-0753 min
At Last She Said ItAsk Us Anything | ALSSI's Third AnniversaryPlease join us for Episode 132 as we celebrate our podcast anniversary with an Ask-Us-Anything conversation, hosted by Blakelee Ellis and featuring listener questions with Cynthia-and-Susan answers! It’s a fun, wide ranging discussion packed with women’s voices, ideas, and experiences—a perfect way to commemorate 3 years of saying it at last. Bring your own cake! 2023-04-0459 min
At Last She Said ItSpeaking in Sacrament Meeting | The Susan EditionIt sounds simple to say I must love my neighbor as I love myself, but what does that really look like? We have an unfaltering example in Jesus, whose works offered a living reflection of his teachings about the nature of God. The scriptures may be full of unclear translations, contradictory ideas, metaphors that have lost meaning over time, and laws that have lapsed. But Christ’s actions show clearly who God is, and how God loves. In episode 131, Cynthia and Susan discuss the real challenge of discipleship: following Jesus’ example of compassion.2023-03-281h 04
At Last She Said ItSpeaking in Sacrament Meeting | The Cynthia EditionFor ALSSI listeners, it’ll be no surprise that when Cynthia was asked to speak on the subject of atonement, she pivoted to an exploration of grace. In Episode 130, ideas from her talk inspire a conversation about the relationship between those two words, as well as salvation and healing. Do Latter-day Saints believe in grace? Or are we mostly just confused by it? As we study the New Testament together, what might change if our discussion at church shifted to focus more on the radical grace exemplified in Jesus’ ministry and teachings?2023-03-211h 00
At Last She Said ItThree Sisters, Three Experiences | A Conversation with Cynthia, Patricia, and CarolynIt’s easy to assume that when we’re all in the same room, we’re hearing, seeing, and experiencing the same things. But this discussion between three sisters shows that living in the same house, growing up in the same family, and attending the same ward and church activities carries no such guarantee. In Episode 129, Cynthia is joined by her two sisters for a conversation about how even Latter-day Saint women who share many commonalities are not having the same experiences in life or at church. It’s an episode about how paths diverge and every journey with faith is a per...2023-03-141h 03
At Last She Said ItIt's Not Easy—A Conversation about Having Hard Conversations | with C.A. LarsonLatter-day Saint women in a liminal faith space may find it’s not easy to know what to say, or to whom they can say it. It can feel scary to share non-traditional thoughts with the people closest to us—a husband or partner, a parent, close friend, or child—or discuss shifts we experience in foundational aspects of our church or spiritual lives. In Episode 128, Cynthia and Susan are joined by therapist C.A. Larson for a conversation about having these hard conversations.2023-03-071h 01
At Last She Said ItWho Said You Could Wear That?Cultural taboos and prohibitions can feel etched in stone for many Latter-day Saint women. Even in things so personal as what to wear to church, we may feel little room to deviate from what’s expected. In Episode 127, Cynthia and Susan discuss choices they each make that are counter to the cultural norm. They’re small things, but in a church where it can feel like there are no small things, learning to ignore raised eyebrows and give yourself permission can pay big mental and spiritual dividends.2023-02-281h 03
At Last She Said ItWhat About Tithing?Got thoughts about tithing? This may be the episode you’ve been waiting for! There’s a lot of emotion tied up at the intersection of money, obedience, temple recommends, and blessings. And what about charitable giving? How is tithing the same as paying to a charity that benefits others? How is tithing different? In Episode 126, Cynthia and Susan explore a diversity of ideas and personal experiences shared by listeners around this complicated topic.2023-02-211h 17
At Last She Said ItWomen Reading Scripture—A Reflection on Voices Rising | A Conversation with Kajsa Berlin-KaufusiBecause the scriptures have been written, translated, interpreted, and most often taught by men, it’s not surprising many women don’t feel empowered to venture beyond the understanding we’ve received at church. Women’s influence and involvement in the scriptural narrative has been minimized too, leaving only a few female characters with little detail about them. Their role is often glossed over or skipped altogether in our Sunday talks and curriculum. In Episode 125, Kajsa Berlin-Kaufusi joins Cynthia and Susan for a conversation urging Latter-day Saint women to reclaim the scriptures for ourselves in every way.2023-02-141h 02
At Last She Said ItWhat About Faith Crisis? A Conversation with Becky EdwardsYou may or may not call it a faith crisis, but many Latter-day Saints experience a seismic shift at some point that calls into question the faith we thought was settled. Suddenly we no longer feel sure about things to which we used to testify wholeheartedly. Though individuals experience the details differently, sudden uncertainty about foundational beliefs can feel frightening, isolating, even hopeless. In this episode, Becky Edwards joins Cynthia and Susan for a discussion about moving and growing through the destabilization of ‘faith crisis.’2023-01-2459 min
At Last She Said ItBONUS: Patriarchy as Sin—More Conversation with Kathryn Knight Sonntag“The power struggle that’s inherent in this telestial sphere between men and women is the source of all of our pain…” In this short bonus, Kathryn joins Cynthia and Susan to explore a few more ideas about patriarchy. Could it stand in the way of women and men realizing our full potential?2022-12-1311 min
At Last She Said ItWhen Women Are The ProblemAre women complicit in their own marginalization within the Church? In their Season 5 finale episode, Cynthia and Susan unpack the idea of complicity, and some obstacles to overcoming it. It’s an itchy topic with no easy answers. But the real focus of the conversation is a call for women to support other women as a necessary first step to change. If we can’t allow for different experiences, and sit with each other in that difference, can we truly love one another?2022-10-251h 13
At Last She Said ItMeeting Your Feminist Self, Part 2In this Part 2 episode, more Latter-day Saint women share stories of personal feminist awakenings. It's hard to shake the unsettling realizations once we begin to see through a feminist lens at church. For these episodes, Cynthia and Susan asked listeners to talk about their feminist journeys. Do you think about things today the same way you did 5 or 10 years ago? If not, what has led you to see things differently? And what are the implications for your faith life going forward?2022-10-211h 03
At Last She Said ItMeeting Your Feminist Self, Part 1There are probably as many versions of a feminist awakening as there are feminists. Some have always felt aware of the disparity between men’s and women’s experiences and opportunities. For others, the awareness has come more recently. Either way, it’s hard to shake the unsettling realizations once we begin to see through a feminist lens at church. For this episode, Cynthia and Susan asked listeners to talk about their personal feminist journeys. Do you think about things today the same way you did 5 or 10 years ago? If not, what has led you to see things differently? And what a...2022-10-1850 min
At Last She Said ItThis Is Your Brain On Church—A Conversation with Jill Evans OpdahlLanguage is powerful. The words and phrases we use repetitively in church create well-worn pathways in our brains. Each time we think in a certain way, practice a certain task, or feel a certain emotion we strengthen and grow that pathway, making it easier for our subconscious to find again and again. Whether it’s hearing male pronouns associated with deity or studying scriptural records written by and about men, without conscious effort there’s a good chance we’re reinforcing ideas about gender roles every time we sit through a lesson, hear a talk, or sing a hymn. In this c...2022-10-1158 min
At Last She Said ItWhat About Purity Culture?What does it mean to a Latter-day Saint young woman when she hears that virtue and chastity are ‘most dear and precious above all things?’ Purity Culture is a movement built on teachings of sexual abstinence before marriage, with the insidious slant that girls and women are responsible for not only their own purity, but that of boys and men. Young women face strict dress codes and years of lessons about how to avoid tempting or distracting. Some even internalize a message that's difficult to overcome: a woman’s personal worth is linked to her sexual purity. In Episode 112, therapist Colett...2022-09-2758 min
At Last She Said ItRaising Health Kids in the Church—A Conversation with Michelle LarsonFor women who have experienced some kind of faith shift or feminist awakening, how to raise children in the Church may become a perplexing question. We may want something different from the messaging and experiences—cultural or religious—we grew up with. We may want a more expansive idea of God than is presented in correlated materials. We may hold more nuanced views than some official positions. We may wonder how to answer questions about issues to which we don’t really have answers ourselves. In episode 111, Cynthia and Susan are joined by Michelle Larson who assures us all parents get so...2022-09-2058 min
At Last She Said ItWe Don't Believe Our Own Stuff: Repentance EditionHow do you think about repentance? Is it a way to become pure? A way to change direction? A way to accept responsibility for harm we’ve caused ourselves or others? And how do you feel about an organization that doesn’t apologize? Can we make amends without acknowledging harm? Repentance is something we hear and talk a lot about at church, but we don’t all think about it the same way. In Episode 110, Cynthia and Susan share personal ideas about repentance, and discuss whether or not Latter-day Saints believe our own stuff when it comes to the second fundam...2022-09-1359 min
At Last She Said ItBONUS—A Few More Thoughts About SealingsIn this short bonus episode, Cynthia and Susan share a few more listeners' experiences and feelings about temple sealings and the policies around them. Spoiler: It's complicated.2022-09-0914 min
At Last She Said ItIn Search of Self — A Conversation with C.A. LarsonHaving learned about her well-defined role as a wife and mother from the time she is a young girl, when and how does a Latter-day Saint woman develop an understanding of who she is as an individual? Over time, not living in alignment with our true self is exhausting, and may be detrimental to health and happiness. ‘Finding yourself’ may sound cliché, but self-discovery is key to making choices about our life and identity that will lead to personal fulfillment. Therapist C.A. Larson joins Cynthia and Susan for a conversation about some of the unique challenges LDS women may face...2022-08-301h 03
At Last She Said ItWhat About Blessings? Part 2‘Blessing’ is a catch-all word. From prosperity gospel to the laying on of hands, it is used to describe a transactional approach to our relationship with God: we do something and believe we are ‘blessed’ as a result. But when we try to connect those specific dots in our lives, things can get tricky. Such a transactional view may challenge our faith as often as it affirms it. In this follow-up conversation, Cynthia and Susan take another look at some complicated ways Latter-day Saints perceive, experience, and express the idea of blessing.2022-08-231h 03
At Last She Said ItThe Process of Staying“Why do you stay? How do you stay?” Because the conversations on this podcast often highlight problems Latter-day Saint women have observed or experienced in their church lives, these questions come up a lot. Every so often, it’s helpful to check in with oneself for the current answers. In this episode, Cynthia and Susan discuss the process of staying: what that process looks like for them, and why they each continue to find value engaging with it today.2022-08-1659 min
At Last She Said ItWhat About Missions? A Conversation with Apple LanmanThere’s a lot of pressure around missions in the Church. From the time they are very young, our children hear the clear expectation that they will serve. But the decision to serve, the realities of mission life, the possibility of returning home early, and the pressure to make big life decisions soon after a mission ends, can all weigh heavily on young Latter-day Saints and their families. “The reality of mission life both pre- and post-mission is hard!” says therapist Apple Lanman, who joins Cynthia and Susan for a discussion of some of the complexities—personal, family, cultural, and institut...2022-08-0959 min
At Last She Said ItDid It Ever Matter?There’s a tension in our church between things that change and things that some members consider to be unchangeable. It can be hard to distinguish between the two, and our history would suggest that more things are probably changeable than we think. Figuring out what matters, why it does, and when that may change is an ongoing process, personally and institutionally. To answer those questions for ourselves, we must approach practices and programs in a way that helps us uncover spiritual meaning in them—or sometimes not. In this conversation, Cynthia and Susan talk about some specific changes they’ve exp...2022-08-0259 min
At Last She Said ItStill Ultimate, Still a Big Deal—BONUSIn this short bonus episode, Cynthia and Susan say a little bit more about the temple—a topic so big, there will always be more to say.2022-07-2927 min
At Last She Said ItThe Ultimate Big Deal, Part 3For our 100th episode, what could be more fitting than a discussion about the temple? It’s the centerpiece of Latter-day Saint worship members believe sets our church apart from all others. Many women can trace their most sacred experiences to it, but for others—from the wording to the rituals—attending the temple causes deep unease. Having complicated feelings about something so reverenced can be a struggle to admit, even to oneself. In this conversation, Cynthia and Susan highlight the emotions and experiences of women who generously shared their hearts with us on this difficult topic. 2022-07-261h 02
At Last She Said ItThe Invisible WomanThe term ‘invisible woman’ refers to the feeling many women have that they lose social value as their ability to attract the male gaze fades with age. But do older women disappear in church, as well as in society? And how might a woman’s spirituality change as she moves through her second half of life? Cynthia and Susan explore their own experiences and those of listeners in this conversation about the impact of aging on women’s church lives and personal faith.2022-07-1257 min
At Last She Said ItChrist Chose WomenWhen one thinks about the events of Jesus’ life and ministry, it’s natural to think about women. The Bible shows us a man whose inclusion of women was radical within its cultural context. Yet for most of history, his namesake religion has been marked by near-total domination of the patriarchy. What happened? Greg Prince once asked Chieko Okazaki a question that bears repeating: “…where do we need to go to get women in the Church where He wants them to be?” In this episode Cynthia and Susan pose that question again in a conversation shining light on a few of the wom...2022-07-0554 min
At Last She Said ItThe God of All of UsIf you grow up in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, is God a man, a woman, or both? It’s a complication we bump up against a lot, if only indirectly, in our religion where God is Heavenly Father, but is also one of a pair of Heavenly Parents. Some members don’t seem to notice the absence of the divine feminine in our collective dialogue and worship, while some feel it acutely and yearn for more. But as a church we don’t talk about it, so the wrestle with questions is often a private one. In thi...2022-06-2855 min
At Last She Said ItEveryone Back to Church—BONUSIn this brief bonus episode, Cynthia and Susan discuss some effects of the pandemic on their own faith and church lives.2022-06-2310 min
At Last She Said ItEveryone Back to Church...Maybe?The pandemic that interrupted attendance for all members forced an unprecedented change in our personal church habits and activity. It blurred the distinction between work, education, church, and family lives. Many saw the shift to “home-based, church-supported” as a prophetic precursor to this change, and leaned into the opportunity presented by it. For some normal attendance has now resumed, while others are choosing to reengage differently in church activity going forward. For this episode, Cynthia and Susan asked women how the pandemic had affected their personal faith journey and relationship with the Church. What changed? What didn’t? And what opport...2022-06-2158 min
At Last She Said ItHow To Be a Smart MouthHow we communicate with other Church members can be as important as what we’re trying to say. Women are at a disadvantage with less freedom and opportunity to speak truth to those in authority. Even when we do get the floor, sometimes things as innocuous as pitch, accent, and personal style determine whether we’re listened to or dismissed. In this conversation, Cynthia and Susan explore ideas and experiences around LDS women speaking up in ways that will be heard. 2022-06-1459 min
At Last She Said ItWhat About Sad Heaven?What do you envision when you think about a next life? Happiness? Answers? Judgment? Question marks? There are as many images of the afterlife as there are people to imagine it. But for some Latter-day Saints, the official picture painted at church doesn’t feel entirely hopeful or comforting. To kick off Season 5, Cynthia and Susan unpack the idea of “sad heaven,” an eternity spent with empty chairs where some of the people we love most should be.2022-05-2459 min
At Last She Said ItBONUS: In Response to GC—More Real Talk Around MotherhoodWe received numerous requests for our thoughts around some of the messages delivered at General Conference. In this bonus episode, Cynthia and guest Sherry Macnab get real about their experiences raising LGBTQ kids. It's a vulnerable conversation about the perils of bringing up any kids in a church where they will almost certainly be exposed to some harmful messages.2022-04-1230 min
At Last She Said ItWho's Stopping You?Who's stopping you? From doing what you want to do, believing what you want to believe, praying how you want to pray, feeling how you want to feel about a thing, or making a choice you want to make…who’s stopping you really? In this season finale episode, Cynthia and Susan revisit the theme of personal spiritual empowerment, share wisdom from listeners, and add a P.S. to their conversations from Season 4.2022-03-221h 07
At Last She Said ItBut What Do I Believe?What do we believe? In 1842, Joseph Smith penned 13 answers to that question, explaining the basic doctrines and practices of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. We all know his Articles of Faith. But there's a deeper question that sits at the center of each woman's faith life: What do I believe? Lyric Montgomery Kinard joins Cynthia and Susan for a discussion about personal vs. institutional articles of faith. Though they may change with our life experience, is there value in not just thoughtful consideration of our own beliefs, but actually writing the answers to that question down for...2022-03-1559 min
At Last She Said ItTalking Across the FenceSometimes it can be hard to talk with other Latter-day Saints about church things on which we don't agree, even if we have an otherwise close relationship. Is it possible to understand a person whose experiences have been very different from our own? Jeralee Renshaw joins Cynthia and Susan to discuss practical approaches for handling tricky topics in ways that can create space for a diversity of ideas and experiences. 2022-03-0856 min
At Last She Said ItMaking PeaceWhere can we turn for peace? When we're trying to find it, peace can feel elusive. But can we learn to create it for ourselves? What about when we're experiencing big changes in our lives, our relationships, or our faith? In this conversation, Cynthia and Susan discuss ideas, tools, and tactics for taking more ownership of our personal peace.2022-02-221h 01
At Last She Said ItHoly DiscomfortWe experience all kinds of discomfort across a lifetime, but how can we know when we're in the type of liminal space that may have the potential to lead to big growth? Can we find clues about where to go next in the messages our minds and bodies are sending us? And is it possible to ever become okay with feeling uncomfortable? Cynthia and Susan explore the idea of reframing or repurposing some discomfort to make it not only useful, but maybe even holy.2022-02-151h 04
At Last She Said ItWe Don't Believe Our Own Stuff: Revelation EditionRevelation is a big word for Latter-day Saints. We use it to describe foundational tenets of our faith like personal revelation, continuing revelation, and prophetic revelation. But have a conversation with other members and you may find you don't think about revelation in exactly the same ways. What kind of revelation do you rely on most, and why? Cynthia and Susan discuss this question and others in a conversation about how revelation functions in their faith lives, and how learning to trust themselves has been important in an evolving relationship with this complex idea.2022-02-0859 min
At Last She Said ItWhen Church Isn't SafeFor a Latter-day Saint woman who has suffered sexual abuse or other trauma, church can feel triggering. If the abuse involved leaders or fellow members, finding a path to healing within her church community may be even more difficult. Bergen Hyde joins Cynthia and Susan to discuss situations and experiences that can make church unsafe. It's an emotional, enlightening glimpse at some of the incredible burdens we may not realize many vulnerable sisters struggle to carry in the seats beside us. 2022-02-0158 min
At Last She Said ItReal Talk Around MotherhoodHelping kids navigate the gap between a quickly changing world and a slow-to-change church is a real challenge, especially if many answers aren't clear cut for a woman herself. Sherry Macnab joins Cynthia and Susan for an honest conversation about their experiences as Latter-day Saint mothers. The feelings, pressures, desires, questions, and decisions—it's all fair game in this frank discussion between 3 friends who each took the Church's prescribed path into marriage and motherhood, and want to talk about those choices now.2022-01-2555 min
At Last She Said ItAre You There God? It's Us, Cynthia and SusanHow do you envision God? Or do you think of Heavenly Parents? How much control do you believe They have over what happens to us on earth? These are questions we may not spend much time thinking about until old ideas stop working. Being forced outside a God-box can be scary, painful, liberating, faith saving—it's different for everyone, and the answers may change with our experiences. The good news is, we're spiritually equipped to ask the big questions for ourselves, and then to trust the answers we receive.2022-01-181h 02
At Last She Said ItWho Said You Could Do That? (Grown Women Don't Need Permission.)Who has authority over your relationship with God? Who has control over your spiritual life? And how do you approach the Divine authentically, and for yourself, when you've spent your life being handed a script for that? The answers may seem obvious to some, yet many Latter-day Saint women feel they lack permission to step outside the language and practices they've been taught, to seek God in new ways when their old ways come up short. In this episode, Cynthia and Susan discuss claiming spiritual authority to rebuild their personal faith foundations.2022-01-0459 min
At Last She Said ItThe Parable of the Laborers—Grace in ActionWhat is it about God's generosity that's so hard to trust? In this episode, Cynthia and Susan discuss The Parable of the Laborers, in which Jesus turns the idea of fairness on its head with a story that disregards the rules we insist are so important. It's a reminder that the kingdom of heaven runs on grace, and all our careful scorekeeping and human expectations of scarcity will someday be confounded by God's abundance, so we may as well get used to it.2021-12-2156 min
At Last She Said ItDoing is BelievingIn this conversation, Cynthia and Susan explore belief and behavior in an attempt to answer a listener's question, "Are you women true believers?" There are a lot of markers members use to figure out where other members sit on the spectrum of testimony and church engagement. We judge not just beliefs, but the language used to express them. But if we really must vet each other's faith, a better question might be, "How does being a member of the Church change the way you live?"2021-12-0755 min
At Last She Said ItBut She's Got a Great Personality!We're all wired differently, and our personality has an impact on our experiences. Understanding the self we bring to church may help us better understand the experiences we have there. Identifying underlying differences can also help us manage our expectations in relationships, and can be an empathy tool for interacting with people around us. In this episode, Cynthia and Susan are joined by Jana Spangler for a talk about what makes individuals tick, and specific ways those differences may matter in our lives as Latter-day Saints.2021-11-1657 min
At Last She Said ItTo Ordain or Not To Ordain? That Isn't the Only Question.Perhaps nothing has a greater impact on a woman's experience in our church organization than the fact that she does not and can not hold the Priesthood. Do Latter-day Saint women need ordination? Do they want it? While the answers to these questions may not be clear, what is clear is that many women feel little space to discuss their true feelings about the nebulous messaging we receive around power and authority, and our inability to hold and access Priesthood directly. In the Season 4 opener, Cynthia and Susan take a deep breath and wrestle the question of women's ordination.2021-11-0957 min
At Last She Said ItBONUS—Uncrossed Bridges ReduxIn this bonus recut, Cynthia and Susan revisit a Season 1 conversation about the challenge of building bridges for the young women of today to cross into adult lives of personal and spiritual fulfillment as Latter-day Saints. Will they be willing to seek a faith home within the same patriarchal church structure their mothers and grandmothers have inhabited? For now, the bridges these two mothers have built don't seem to lead to a place their daughters want to go.2021-10-0556 min
At Last She Said ItWrap Party!Our episodes may begin the conversation, but every woman in the Church has unique experiences and ideas to contribute, so there's always more to say. In this season finale, Cynthia and Susan revisit Season 3 podcast topics to share a few post-recording thoughts, ideas, and insights that have come up through continued conversation and listener feedback.2021-08-311h 08
At Last She Said ItCustom Fit FaithWe all take a 'cafeteria' approach to our religion to some extent, but how much customization is really okay? As members of the Church, we are asked to obey commandments, but sometimes face pressure to accept policies and culture as binding too. How can we determine which parts are essential? How can we reap the greatest spiritual benefit from our church engagement? In this episode, Cynthia and Susan discuss approaching personal decisions about what to keep, and what it may be time to let go.2021-08-1755 min
At Last She Said ItWhen is Enough Enough?In the story of the widow's mite, Jesus directs our attention to a woman who gives everything she has, assuring us that her small offering is more than enough. But how are we meant to think about our own offerings in the context of this story? How much do we owe? And how can we know when we have we given enough of our time, talents, energy, and resources? Cynthia and Susan discuss the story of this woman's choice, and Jesus' reaction to it, in a conversation about giving—and being—enough.2021-08-0356 min
At Last She Said ItUpset Facebook CommenterConversations on social media are rarely substantive, but sometimes a comment can provide a good opening to a larger discussion. In this episode, Cynthia and Susan unpack a comment made on a recent ALSSI post that seemed to ruffle a few feathers. It's a discussion about unhelpful ways Latter-day Saints sometimes respond to each other, and how we might all benefit from retiring the tired scripts members have relied on for too long in an effort to keep each other in line.2021-07-2751 min
At Last She Said ItWhat About Blessings?Whether faith promoting or fraught, the idea of being blessed figures prominently in Latter-day Saint teachings. Common use of words like 'earning' and 'qualifying' can make it hard not to view blessings as transactional. How can we make sense of blessings we receive—or those we don't? What is our part in obtaining specific outcomes and righteous desires? Can our faithful actions influence God's will? In this discussion, Cynthia and Susan attempt to find a little peace on a sticky topic.2021-07-2058 min
At Last She Said ItBe Brave Like BlaireAs members of the body of Christ, we are called to join Jesus in atoning—to take on the shape of one another's pain. It's a call to brave and unreserved love, a message central to the book, "Queer Mormon Theology: An Introduction." In this episode, philosopher/author Blaire Ostler joins Cynthia and Susan for a discussion of everything from the atonement to eternity, with plenty of conversational side-trips along the way. Can queerness and Mormon-ness coexist? In her beautiful theological framing, Blaire shows us they not only can, they naturally do.2021-06-2255 min
At Last She Said ItYou Have a Friend in MeWhy does having friends at church feel so important? Feeling known is part of feeling like you belong, but finding friends in a ward with whom you can be yourself isn't always easy. In this episode, Cynthia and Susan talk about friendship, and how our relationships with the members with whom we worship and serve can impact not only our church experience, but our personal and family happiness and spiritual well-being. 2021-06-1552 min
At Last She Said ItWhat About Queer LDS Women?Some high-profile gay men are helping Latter-day Saints grow our collective understanding by sharing their perspectives and experiences through books and podcasts, but—what about queer LDS women? Isn't it time we all heard more about their lives and journeys? In this episode, Cynthia and Susan are joined by Colette Dalton, LCSW, for a glimpse of her personal path and a discussion about some of the unique challenges for LGBTQ women in the Church. 2021-05-2551 min
At Last She Said ItThe Ultimate Big Deal, Part 2The temple is a topic around which many Latter-day Saints tiptoe, a complicated centerpiece of our religious practices. It is sacred, but also secret. It is of paramount importance, but participation in its ordinances requires a recommend not all members receive. It unites families, but can also divide them. In this second discussion, Cynthia and Susan unpack a few ideas and symbols from the temple, including the one way it impacts the lives of endowed members directly every day—garments.2021-05-1855 min
At Last She Said ItMirror, Mirror, On the WallBody image is complicated for many women, but for Latter-day Saints, it can feel particularly fraught. Our approaches to teaching about modesty and sexuality, coupled with a strong cultural ideal surrounding women's roles, can add up to impossible expectations with damaging results. For this conversation, Susan and Cynthia are joined by Hannah Hinckley and Jessica Nielson, who share experiences and messaging they internalized growing up in the Church, and how it impacted them. It's a discussion about reclaiming our bodies—and our thinking about them.2021-05-1150 min
At Last She Said ItUpset Instagram FollowerIf you're going to start a women's podcast, you'd better come prepared with a thick skin. Social media is a big part of the At Last She Said It project. Amplifying women's voices, ideas, experiences and concerns requires interacting with a lot of women. In this episode, Cynthia and Susan respond to one specific social media comment that somehow pushed too many buttons to ignore. It's a perfect illustration of the kind of silencing that inspired the podcast to begin with.2021-05-0456 min
At Last She Said ItFor the Men in the RoomIn the first episode of Season 3, Cynthia and Susan discuss things they'd like the men at church to better understand about the experiences of Latter-day Saint women. How might our brothers—whether in leadership positions, or just in the pews—show increased empathy, amplify women's voices, and encourage the creative thinking required to continue expanding our opportunities and influence at church? 2021-04-2054 min
At Last She Said ItLooking Back and Thinking AheadWhat do we know, 2 seasons into this podcast? One thing seems certain—we're not the only women having the thoughts, feelings, ideas and experiences that inspired us to create the At Last She Said It project. More women are joining the conversation every day. In this bonus episode, Cynthia and Susan share some listeners' stories and feedback, and talk a bit about the road ahead. 2021-03-0944 min
At Last She Said ItAm I Discipling?In the Season 2 finale, Susan and Cynthia share and discuss the ongoing love lessons they're learning as they try—more successfully some days than others—to keep following Jesus as the focus of their faith lives.2021-02-1655 min
At Last She Said ItEpisode 043: Women Are Not SwitzerlandFrom the time we are young girls, women are socialized to keep a calm exterior. It's an unhealthy expectation, since we experience the full range of human emotion. In the Church and in the world, an angry man is perceived as being tough or powerful, but an angry woman earns a much less positive label. For Latter-day Saint women, meekness, niceness, and peace-keeping are valued traits. Being sad is okay, but being furious is not. In Episode 43, a guest shares her insights into the lack of space many women feel for the full expression of their emotions—even within themselves. Th...2021-02-0954 min
At Last She Said ItWhen the Wheels Come OffYou may feel sure about a lot of things, but what if one day you reach for your faith and find the certainty that has always given you comfort is not where you thought it was? When foundational ideas or beliefs suddenly go missing for you or a loved one, it can feel like the ground has been pulled out from under you. In Episode 42, Cynthia and Susan are joined by Jeralee Renshaw for a discussion about surviving—and thriving—when faith shifts. 2021-02-0252 min
At Last She Said ItGrace is the AntidoteWhat if there were a remedy that might counteract the difficulties and disappointments of being human, but you weren't quite sure how it worked, or how to get it? Many Latter-day Saints feel certain about the importance of obedience in their lives, but are less settled in their thinking about grace. Cynthia and Susan discuss how and why, for each of them, the idea of grace has come to be foundational to their faith, rather than incidental to it. 2021-01-2653 min
At Last She Said ItIs Obedience the Gasoline, or Is It the Match?If there's a way to make the word Obedience feel itchier for some of us, it's by combining it with the word Exact. But these words increasingly seem to appear together when we're holding up Latter-day Saint ideals. What does the phrase "exact obedience" mean? Are there different kinds of obedience, and do they all carry the same rewards? In this conversation, Cynthia and Susan explore the principle of obedience as a means to spiritual growth and personal transformation.2021-01-1950 min
At Last She Said ItWhat's the Church Up To?In recent years, it seems the phrases priesthood power and priesthood authority are being used more often in reference to women. But what do those words really mean? Has anything changed, or is this just a new way of describing old ideas? Cynthia and Susan talk about these phrases and the questions and feelings they evoke in a discussion of Pres. Jean B. Bingham's article, Women and Covenant Power.2021-01-1253 min
At Last She Said ItWhat's In It For Me?When you're vocal in your criticism of an organization, people may wonder why you don't leave. But for some women, speaking up about the bad and the good are both important to the process of staying. In this episode, Cynthia and Susan discuss ways the Church leads them to Jesus Christ, and how engagement in their Latter-day Saint communities continues to impact and improve their lives.2021-01-0550 min
At Last She Said ItIf It's Not About the Clothes, What's It About? Have you ever wished you heard Latter-day Saint women talk about modesty using words like context, intention, body acceptance, sexuality, empowerment, and authenticity? Well here's that conversation! Cynthia and Susan are joined by therapist C.A. Larson for a closer look at the ways we discuss, teach, and practice principles of modesty. How can we approach this topic with our youth in a way that will equip them to make their own good choices? 2020-12-2951 min
At Last She Said ItWhere's the Priesthood in That?As Latter-day Saint women, our callings sit at the center of our church experience. Where, when, and how we are asked to serve can impact everything from our family's daily schedule to our personal health, spiritual wellbeing or self esteem. It's no wonder our feelings about callings run deep. In this discussion, Cynthia and Susan share their own and listeners' experiences—exploring some of the ways women serve in the church, and imagining other ways we might.2020-12-1549 min
At Last She Said ItCreativity is Next to GodlinessWhat does it mean to be a creative person, and what might we learn by daring to pursue our own ideas? Following our curiosity and engaging in the creative process can introduce us to ourselves, and help us glimpse our divine potential. In this episode, Susan and Cynthia discuss the ways creativity enriches their lives, enhances their spiritual connectivity, and nudges them toward greater understanding and personal growth.2020-12-0848 min
At Last She Said ItDon't Mess With MothersAs members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we can gain helpful insights by listening to the mothers of LGBTQ+ children. In this episode, Cynthia and Susan are joined by Liz McDonald for a conversation about hard won lessons of this specific mother-love, and what we might learn from the women who share them. 2020-12-0150 min
At Last She Said ItThanks and HelpThanks and Help: it's a prayer in just 3 words. Can gratitude move us in the direction of our own healing? Even in a difficult year, we've found plenty to make us marvel. In this episode, Susan shares thoughts on the spiritual benefits of giving mindful thanks, and Cynthia joins to discuss finding connection, awe and wonder in the everyday. 2020-11-2439 min
At Last She Said ItAsk Me Again TomorrowFrom the time they are young girls, Latter-day Saint women hear a great deal of emphasis placed on motherhood being central to their divine role. Yet there are so many variables that often go unacknowledged in the conversation—desire, opportunity, aptitude, health, finances, to name a few—that truly complicate this general teaching for specific women. In this episode, Cynthia and Susan discuss the ways motherhood adds real and ongoing complexity to their lives, choices, and feelings.2020-11-0354 min
At Last She Said ItThe Other "P" WordCynthia and Susan are joined by their friend Holly to discuss the biggest elephant in the room. In what ways might polygamy—past, present, and/or future—affect the lives of Latter-day Saint women today? 2020-10-2749 min
At Last She Said ItIt's Not About the ClothesCynthia and Susan share their own experiences, as well as listeners' stories, in an introductory exploration of the current Latter-day Saint approach to modesty. What are the possible unintended consequences of the rules, rhetoric, and culture in which we're raising our young women? 2020-10-2048 min
At Last She Said ItWho's in Charge Here?Dr. Julie Hanks, owner and executive director of Wasatch Family Therapy in Salt Lake City, joins Cynthia and Susan for a discussion about authority. How do we navigate the tension we sometimes experience between the general counsel of Church leaders, and the personal revelation we receive as stewards of our own lives?2020-10-1344 min
At Last She Said ItMary Kept All These ThingsIn the first episode of Season 2, Cynthia and Susan consider some of the burdens women carry—in their hearts, their minds, and their bodies—and discuss Mary, the mother of Jesus. She bore an unimaginable weight, but about her remarkable personal journey we have only a few precious clues.2020-10-0647 min
At Last She Said ItBonus — Grieving and GrowingIn this bonus episode, Cynthia traces some of the growth she has experienced as a result of periods of sustained grieving. Looking back now, she can see how grief turned out to be a teacher she never wanted, and never knew she needed.2020-09-1515 min
At Last She Said ItBonus—At Last We Said It!In this bonus episode, Cynthia and Susan wrap up the first season with a top ten list, some listener feedback, and a season two teaser: a call for women to contribute their stories and experiences on upcoming topics. 2020-08-0438 min
At Last She Said ItWe Don't Believe Our Own Stuff: Agency EditionCynthia and Susan are joined by Jeralee for a discussion of agency. If we believe it's a foundational component of the plan, why is it sometimes so hard to honor? Can shifting our thinking about agency improve the way we make decisions for ourselves, and help us better love and support others in their choices? 2020-07-2145 min
At Last She Said ItThere She Goes...Right Off the MapOur spiritual ideas, practices, and answers might serve us well for many years—even for a lifetime. We don't need more until we realize we don't have enough. Cynthia and Susan discuss asking new questions, changing old patterns, and finding space to connect with God in unfamiliar ways.2020-06-3049 min
At Last She Said ItWe Don't Believe Our Own Stuff: Grace EditionWhat exactly does it mean to be saved by grace "after all we can do?" Untangling our own merit from God's love can be confusing. Cynthia and Susan discuss ways their understanding of this principle continues to evolve and influence their spiritual lives.2020-06-2343 min
At Last She Said ItThe Rule Breaking WomanSometimes in order to get what we need, we have to make choices that may be at odds with what others deem acceptable or appropriate. Cynthia and Susan discuss the scriptural story of a woman who took a big risk, and received exactly what she was seeking in return.2020-06-1644 min
At Last She Said ItWhat Plan of Happiness?From dark cracks to deep chasms, the path of faith may contain unique obstacles for women with depression, anxiety, or other forms of mental illness. Susan shares her personal story with Cynthia in a conversation aimed at increasing understanding and awareness of these challenges.2020-06-0946 min
At Last She Said ItThe Ultimate Big DealOn a list of sensitive topics for Latter-day Saints, this one sits very near the top. Susan and Cynthia take a deep breath, and have an honest, heartfelt discussion about the complicated feelings some women may have about the temple.2020-05-2647 min
At Last She Said ItWomen on the Edge of InsideCynthia and Susan are joined by Jeralee Renshaw for a discussion of "the edge of inside," and how and why many Mormon women choose to be there.2020-05-1944 min
At Last She Said ItWe Don't Believe Our Own StuffWhen children leave the Church, there can be a lot of heartache and second-guessing for parents. Susan and Cynthia are joined by two friends who share personal stories of the love and growth they experienced when things didn't go the way they'd planned. 2020-05-1247 min
At Last She Said ItAs a Cook...I Was a Piano TeacherBeing a Latter-day Saint woman comes with a lot of cultural expectations. Cynthia and Susan discuss being yourself, even if that doesn't look anything like someone else thinks it should.2020-05-0543 min
At Last She Said ItMy Patron Saint is Chieko OkazakiCynthia and Susan are joined by Jeralee Renshaw to revisit the life and wisdom of a beloved former leader whose teachings seem more relevant than ever before.2020-04-2842 min
At Last She Said ItUncrossed Bridges Part 2Will today's young Mormon women be willing to seek a spiritual home within the same patriarchal church structure their mothers and grandmothers have inhabited? Susan and Cynthia discuss how the bridges they've built don't seem to lead to a place younger women want to go. 2020-04-2138 min
At Last She Said ItUncrossed Bridges Part 1Will today's young Mormon women be willing to seek a spiritual home within the same patriarchal church structure their mothers and grandmothers have inhabited? Susan and Cynthia discuss how the bridges they've built don't seem to lead to a place younger women want to go. 2020-04-2134 min
At Last She Said ItMen Don't Have a Giant church BagCynthia and Susan are joined by guest Hannah Hinckley for a conversation about the ways in which men and women may approach or experience the Church differently. Hannah's personal experiences offer a vivid illustration of the ways these differences sometimes have a very real impact on the lives of women.2020-04-1451 min
At Last She Said ItWhat Do You Need?The multitude tried to silence the blind man's cries for mercy as they passed by in pursuit of Jesus. Their desire to follow Jesus got in the way of their ability to see the needs of the one. Cynthia and Susan discuss lessons they're learning about the importance of stopping, really seeing people, and asking what they need. 2020-04-0844 min
At Last She Said ItGod Isn't In a HurryCynthia and Susan are joined by guest Jeralee Henderson Renshaw to discuss the idea that God isn't impatient with us, we are impatient with ourselves. "Becoming" is a lifelong process—the fact that we're never quite finished is simply part of the plan.2020-04-0845 min
At Last She Said ItTell Me What You KnowWhat do you know? Like, really know-know? The answer may change daily, or even hourly, but it's a good question to ask yourself, and a good place to start a conversation with someone else. In this episode, Cynthia and Susan talk about the question itself, and share some of their own answers to it.2020-04-0340 min
At Last She Said ItIt's ComplicatedHosts Cynthia Winward and Susan Hinckley introduce themselves, talk about why they feel a podcast aimed at amplifying women's voices is needed, discuss the ways in which Mormon women's lives are particularly complicated, and introduce topics for future episodes.2020-04-0235 min