Shows
Better Relationships Through ResearchDeprogramming Desire — with Dr. Chris DonahueWhat happens when a respectfully monogamous therapist sits down with one of the most outspoken voices in modern sex therapy? In this episode, Daniel Dashnaw talks with Dr. Chris Donahue, psychotherapist, media personality, and author of Rebel Love and Sex Outside the Lines, about what it really means to “deprogram” desire.
Together, they explore how culture, capitalism, trauma, and shame shape our erotic blueprints, and how conscious relationships can transform those inherited scripts. Donahue discusses how his views on monogamy have evolved over time, the balance between freedom and commitment, and why both can serve as crucibles for grow...
2025-12-1251 minBetter Relationships Through ResearchIs Your “Type” Just Clay? The Science of Attraction & Shifting IdealsWe all think we have a type, tall and outdoorsy, witty and bookish, maybe even someone who can fold a fitted sheet. But what if “your type” isn’t destiny? What if it’s clay, malleable, reshaped by your experiences and choices?
In this episode of Better Relationships Through Research, marriage and family therapist Daniel Dashnaw unpacks a new study published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin that literally rewired people’s romantic preferences. The findings reveal that attraction isn’t a fixed script, it’s more like jazz: improvisational, adaptive, and deeply influenced by the values you cho...
2025-10-2806 minBetter Relationships Through ResearchGrowing Into Love, The Science of Positive Illusions & The Michelangelo EffectRomantic comedies sell us the myth of instant compatibility, find your soulmate, cue the fireworks, and live happily ever after. But real couples know love doesn’t just arrive fully formed; it’s something you grow into.
In this solo episode of Better Relationships Through Research, marriage and family therapist Daniel Dashnaw unpacks what decades of psychology research reveals about how partners truly shape each other over time. From positive illusions that soften our view of each other’s quirks, to the Michelangelo Effect that shows how couples sculpt one another’s best selves, Daniel e...
2025-10-2505 min
Neurodiverse Love with Mona KayDemand Avoidance: Why It's Not Always Pathological-Daniel DashnawDuring this session from the 2025 Neurodiverse Love Conference, Daniel Dashnaw discusses the concept of demand avoidance, challenging the conventional view that it is inherently pathological. Demand avoidance can sometimes serve as a healthy response to overwhelm, misaligned expectations, or autonomy needs. He will also briefly touch on research from neurodiversity, social dynamics, and stress regulation. His goal is to expand demand avoidance as a spectrum behavior that can signal unmet needs or adaptive coping rather than wholesale dysfunction. He will also offer a few clinical insights into recognizing, understanding, and addressing demand avoidance in a compassionate and cons...
2025-10-0718 minBetter Relationships Through Research7 Hidden Signs of a Healthy Love Nobody Talks AboutHealthy relationships don’t always sound dramatic. Often, they sound like quiet understanding in the kitchen, like a pause in the middle of conflict, or like a gentle “That makes sense.” In this follow-up to his previous episode on relationship language, Daniel Dashnaw shares seven more phrases emotionally secure people say, and what they reveal about trust, connection, and repair.
From “I don’t need you to fix it” to “How can I love you better right now?” each phrase is rooted in attachment science, co-regulation, and the ethics of care. Daniel explores how these everyday w...
2025-08-1903 minBetter Relationships Through Research7 Phrases That Signal Real Relationship HealthIn this monologue episode, Daniel Dashnaw shares seven phrases that reveal the heart of a healthy relationship, not just in words, but in how they shape the nervous system, build trust, and support lasting connection.
From “I don’t feel like I have to walk on eggshells with you” to “Let’s figure out how this fits into both of our lives,” Daniel explores what these statements really mean, and why they matter. Drawing on clinical insight and attachment science, he explains how language can reflect deep safety, co-regulation, and secure functioning in partnerships.
are you building a n...
2025-08-0903 minBetter Relationships Through ResearchThe Mental Load: How to Ask for Shared Responsibility Without Starting a WarIn this Monologue episode, marriage and family therapist Daniel Dashnaw explores one of the most emotionally charged topics in modern relationships: the invisible mental load.
From meal planning and remembering birthdays to managing household logistics and emotional weather, many partners—often women—carry an unspoken weight that goes unacknowledged until it explodes. Daniel walks listeners through why this conversation so often triggers defensiveness and how to have it differently: with vulnerability, clarity, and a shared desire to rebalance the partnership.
You’ll learn:
Why the phrase “Why didn’t you just ask?” can be so triggeringHow...
2025-07-1508 minBetter Relationships Through ResearchIs Marriage Bad for Your Brain? Debunking the Research on Cognitive DeclineYou may have seen the headline: Divorced and unmarried people have less cognitive decline than those who are married. Surprising? Yes. But is it true?
In this solo monologue, therapist Daniel Dashnaw unpacks a widely circulated study from Florida State University that claims being single may protect your brain. Daniel takes a critical look at the methodology behind the research—highlighting its failure to distinguish marital status from marital quality—and explains why the nuance really matters.
Through clinical insight and common sense, Daniel offers a more grounded perspective on how intimate relationships affect cognitive heal...
2025-05-2004 minBetter Relationships Through ResearchParenting, Resilience, and Emotional Connection: A Conversation with Erica KomisarIn this episode, host Daniel Dashnaw speaks with psychoanalyst, parent coach, and author Erica Komisar about the critical role of emotional presence in the early years of child development and the rising challenges of adolescent anxiety in today’s world. Erica shares practical, research-backed strategies for parents to foster healthy attachment, recognize anxiety, and build resilience in their children.
Key Takeaways:
Why the first three years of a child’s life are foundational for emotional and psychological well-being.
How societal pressures, technology, and changing cultural norms impact fami...
2024-12-2140 minBetter Relationships Through ResearchExploring Infidelity in American CultureIn this insightful episode of the Better Relationships Through Research podcast, host Daniel Dashnaw delves into the complex and often controversial topic of infidelity in American culture. Drawing from various examples in popular media, Daniel explores how cultural tropes around infidelity have evolved and their impact on societal attitudes and personal relationships.
Key topics discussed include:
- The portrayal of infidelity in movies and TV shows like Fatal Attraction and Mad Men.
- The dichotomy between infidelity as a moral failure and as a quest for personal fulfillment.
- Gender dynamics...
2024-08-1205 minBetter Relationships Through ResearchAddressing BIPOC Infidelity with Dr. Vagdevi V. Meunier, PsyDIn this episode, we delve deep into the complexities of infidelity within BIPOC relationships and how cultural dynamics shape therapeutic practices. Join host Daniel Dashnaw and special guest Dr. Vagdevi Meunier as they explore the Ecological Couples System Diagram (ECSD), a groundbreaking framework that integrates cultural sensitivity with the Gottman Method to better understand and treat infidelity in BIPOC couples.
Key topics covered:
- The role of cultural myths and stereotypes in infidelity
- How therapists can avoid clinical missteps when working with BIPOC couples
- The importance of customized training...
2024-07-2440 minBetter Relationships Through ResearchMona Kay of Neurodiverse LoveJoin Daniel Dashnaw and Mona Kay on a journey through the intricate landscapes of monotropism, a cognitive process of neurodiverse humans which sometimes challenges a neurotypical partner.
In this episode, we delve into the challenges and nuances faced by those whose minds tend to focus intensely on a single interest or task for long periods, often making transitions daunting.
From the struggles of shifting attention to the difficulties of adapting to new environments, Daniel and Mona explore how monotropism shapes everyday experiences.
Through self-awareness and using a sensory profile, couples can more deeply...
2024-04-1348 min
Neurodiverse Love with Mona KayChanging Our Stories, Regulating Our Nervous System & Slowing Down Conversations-Daniel DashnawOn this episode of the podcast, AANE certified therapist, Daniel Dashnaw, from Couples Therapy, Inc. provides important information about how the stories and narratives we create, impact our neurodiverse relationships and our nervous systems. He also addresses how partners may experience a polarity in emotional styles that can lead to a clash around the stories both partners "tell" themselves. Daniel talks about how he helps both partners "slow down" and unpack the stories and narratives to create better understanding and reduce conflict in their relationship. He also shares how he creates structure in conflict and provides couples with concrete too...
2022-09-121h 01