Shows
Unshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation4. Interview Art Hock - Breaking Lifelong Habits and Increasing CapacityIn this inspiring episode, Danny Poelman sits down with Art Hock, a former client turned thriving coach, who shares his incredible journey of overcoming deep-rooted habits and finding true empowerment. Art opens up about his struggles with people-pleasing and a phone sex addiction, amongst other things. At first, he wasn't sure Danny would work well with a "gay man." Art realized quickly after a discovery Zoom call, that Danny absolutely has room for all of him. Through the coaching process, Art was able to completely transform his mindset, embrace his authentic self, and rei...2024-08-0928 minUnshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation1. Feeling Safe Around MoneyIn this episode, host Danny Poelman explores the critical connection between feeling safe around money and achieving financial success.Learn how your thoughts and feelings about money impact your financial results and discover practical strategies to reduce money-related stress. Danny shares effective exercises to reprogram your brain for financial abundance and build a positive, empowering relationship with money.👉 Tune in now to transform your money mindset and start feeling safe around money.START WITH THIS: Access Free Webinar Training (click here) Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoachingRea...2024-07-1533 minUnshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation59. Make Quitting Your Porn Habit More FunTo change a habit, you need to optimize learning in your brain.To optimize you need to stop bringing so much heaviness, shame, and self-judgment and start bringing more fun and playfulness.Danny is giving you permission to have fun while learning to do life porn-free. Even though you already had it.A few ChatGPT jokes about quitting a porn habit.Common ways seen with clients that make it not fun.Practices/strategies to make it more fun starting now.Listen to full episode now. And click...2024-05-2423 minUnshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation57. 2 of the 6 Real Actual Problems Behind an Unwanted Porn HabitWhen you know the real actual problem, you can address the real actual issue, which will allow you to create real, actual, lasting change. This is a sneak peek into Danny's new Free Video Training that he created for YOU. The Fearless Freedom From Pornography Training: How to Achieve Ultimate Victory Over Porn.Porn is not the actual problem in an unwanted porn habit. In the training, Danny goes through the 6 Real Actual Problems behind an unwanted porn habit. In this podcast episode, Danny goes through 2 of those Real Actual Problems.Listen to...2024-05-0823 minUnshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation51. Here's Why Your Brain Overdesires PornThe following topics help to understand Why Your Brain Overdesires Pornography:-Motivational triad-Upper brain and lower brain-False pleasures vs. natural pleasuresWhy it’s important to use upper brain more skillfully for decisions around false pleasures (like pornography).2. If you find yourself in a hurry with your goals to quit porn for good, it probably means 1 of 2 things. And is this really helping?3. What I tell clients is that you don’t have a “porn problem” you have a thought problem. How to avoid the unhelpful trap of searching for the “right,” or “correct,” way...2023-12-0428 minUnshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation46. Nothing Works Quite as Well as ThisSharing client success stories, including a client saying "Nothing works quite as well as this." And trying to make it more clear what "THIS" actually is.Some of Danny's philosophies on coaching that he uses because it just works.A yoga analogy to describe what it takes to go through a process that works.No matter how long you've had a porn habit, or how old you are, it is never too late to change your brain. Examples of this.People often overestimate what they can accomplish from a few sessions...2023-10-2740 minUnshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation43. Lessons From a Client Coaching SessionOne of the lessons being that quitting a porn habit doesn’t have to be a big, hard, dark, serious thing.It can actually be fun, easy, light, humorous and completely doable.Tune into the How to Stop Looking at Porn podcast, with Danny Poelman, now to hear what other lessons were uncovered in this real life coaching session.Available wherever you get your podcasts.Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life so good that po...2023-10-0620 minUnshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation38. The Shame/Power Balance RevealedMany of us have learned that more shame and self-punishment is what is required to create more power/motivation to change our habits.The truth is, less shame helps us to access even more power/motivation to change our habits.Why do we do this?How do we start picking up on our unconscious patterns?How do we make it easier to access more of your already-existing power to change your habits sustainably. In a way that lasts.Also, Danny vs. A.I.. Danny shares a secret about his...2023-08-1637 minUnshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation36. Tracing Back Your Decisions About Your HabitPast client updates me, saying:“I am very satisfied with the progress I've made and continue to make. Urges are way down, short lived, and manageable.”Why can habitual behavior around porn feel so automatic?Your lower brain wants to avoid pain, seek pleasure, and be energy efficient.One of the ways your lower brain is energy efficient is by automating patterns that bring you a big dopamine hit (pleasure).It does this by skipping steps for you, and by repeating patterns it has already practiced a lot.Un...2023-08-0223 minUnshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation35. How to Handle Urges/CravingsCommon ways we have learned to interact with feelings that make it harder to quit a porn habit.The difference between avoiding, resisting, and reacting to emotions.What it means to allow and process a feeling (a skill required to sustainably quit pornography).How to start identifying some of your less helpful patterns around feeling your feelings/urges.Some questions to help you start identifying your learned patterns.Sample thoughts that are helpful to think while feeling your feelings.Signs you are resisting and urge vs allowing.2023-07-1927 minUnshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation34. Interview With Bruce, Living the Life That You Want, & Benefits of General Life CoachingDid you know people hire Danny for General Life Coaching? Not just for quitting pornography?Bruce is a high-achieving, successful, powerful guy in many ways, but was feeling disempowered when it came to relationships, creating space for himself, having boundaries, and saying “no” to loved ones.He shares some of his journey to becoming more empowered in his approach to relationships. He now does it in a way that allows him to feel free and to live life on his terms AND benefit those he loves at the same time.“I’m living...2023-07-1135 minUnshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation33. Sexually Relevant and a Client ExampleInstead of the typical self-judgment many guys use when interacting with one of their urges for viewing porn, try this more neutral approach. A concept called "sexual relevance."Also, a real client example of someone learning to interact with their urges in a more empowering way. A way that actually allows for change and retraining his brain to not want porn.Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life so good that porn becomes irrelevant. He created this podcast...2023-07-0424 minUnshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation32. Interview With Ben: Making Life So Good That Porn Becomes IrrelevantBen, who is single and an entrepreneur, shares with us how he went from:-a porn habit-some hangups about his past-shame-fear-lack of confidenceTOTotal self-control with PornHealing his pastReleasing shame and fearConfidence in all aspects of his lifeMaking life so good that porn becomes irrelevantOur hope is that Ben's story will inspire you to set your sights high, and never give up on your goals that you believe, or hope, are possible for you. Helping you to create an authentic drive to move forward toward your next steps of creating a porn-free life...2023-06-2836 minUnshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation31. Why I'm Angry & Allow More Ease With SuccessDanny's pissed today. But it's a Love-Anger. He's glad to be angry about this.Stop slowing your success with this limiting belief. Stop creating unnecessary suffering for yourself.A more efficient way.You deserve better.More ease with success is allowed.Listen to the full episode now!Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life so good that porn becomes irrelevant. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling...2023-06-2118 minUnshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation30. Why Willpower Does Not Work to Quit Porn SustainablyIn this episode, Danny discusses common pitfalls guys run into with the way they are directing their willpower energy when it comes to quitting a porn habit. He covers topics such as:-over-reliance on external locus of control-inefficient uses of willpower energy when focusing on your internal locus of control-willpower is a limited resource-if not all toward fighting directly against the urges/cravings, where to direct your willpower energyAnd he even gives you a strategy you can start experimenting with that will not only conserve more willpower energy for...2023-06-1425 minUnshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation29. Interview With Justin Mathews - Success StoryIn this episode, Danny interviews past client, Justin Mathews. Justin shares how he went from "stuck" every day to living life porn free and totally in control. It hasn't only helped him leave a porn habit behind, but has transformed him in other areas of his life as well. Even his friends and family have said, "there's something different about you." Listen to the full episode now!Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life so good that porn...2023-06-0617 minUnshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation28. Being Results FocusedIn this episode your host Danny shares a client win in his chain breaker program as well as methods and lessons he's learned and used to move forward from being results driven, to process driven for a more sustainable path to healing and growth. Listen to the full episode now!Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn...2023-01-3011 minUnshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation27. Absolute Expectations and Let Go of HowIn this episode, host Danny Poelman talks about absolute expectations and letting go of the How Hungry mentality. He talks about the benefits of finding a system that works for you when trying to reach and goal, and staying committed to the process instead of the outcome. Listen to the full episode to learn more. Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. He created this podcast to help those...2023-01-2323 minUnshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation26. From the Perspective of Lindsay (Danny's Wife)In this episode, Lindsay Poelman, life coach that focuses on trauma informed coaching methods, dealing with pornography from a woman's perspective, feminism for Christians, and Danny's wife talks about her story and perspective of learning and growing from Danny's porn use. She talks about self advocacy, understanding accountability, and most importantly, showing up for yourself and your partner with grace.Listen to the full episode to learn more and share with someone you think may benefit from this information. Learn more about Lindsay and her work by checking out her website and instagram.2022-11-0727 minUnshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation25. Slowing Down to Speed UpIn this episode your host Danny Poelman shares wins, successes, and lessons learned from his clients, along with methods and strategies to find the best path of healing for you. He also talks about the need to slow down to move forward and speed up the healing process and what that means and is required from you. Listen to the full episode now.Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to b...2022-10-2431 minUnshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation24. Being Wrong About Impossible - A StoryYou are worth not giving up on. I hope that this story about the impossible inspires you to do the impossible things. Listen to the full episode to learn more.Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives.Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoachingReady to work with Danny? Schedule...2022-10-1709 minUnshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation23. Three Inspiring (REAL) StoriesIn this episode your host Danny Poelman shares 3 inspiring real life stories of guys you might be able to relate to who felt stuck and were looking for ways to empower themselves or change their habits. His discusses honesty, vulnerability, how to consciously choose, why it's important to prioritizing your health and well being, and dispel shame about pornography.It's ok to be not ok and knowing that you are enough is one of the key pillars in growth and and healing. This is something many of his clients realized and talk about when discussing t...2022-10-0320 minUnshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation22. Lessons From Group CoachingIn this episode your host Danny Poelman discusses some lessons and thoughts that come up during his group coaching calls with his clients. He celebrates the wins, shares the difficulties that came up, and proves that companionship in your growth journey can be a powerful tool for change. Listen to the full episode to learn more. Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. He created this podcast to help...2022-09-2620 minUnshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation21. Committing With FreedomIn this episode your host Danny Poelman discusses some lessons and thoughts that come up during his coaching calls with his clients. He discusses the importance of committing with freedom, with choice, without fear. He talks about the importance of recognizing why it is you feel bad when you watch porn and how to work around those negative emotions. Listen to the full episode to learn more. Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what...2022-09-1920 minUnshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation20. Lessons From My New Dog About Quitting PornIn this episode your host Danny Poelman, talks about the lessons he's learned from his new dog about quitting porn and fighting urges. When we are first learning to quit porn, or anything really, like unhealthy food habits, or alcohol, etc. we give in to our urges. It is our lower brain that pushes us to follow through with those urges. We need to be better about activating our upper brain and being in control of those urges. Listen to the full episode to learn more!Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps...2022-09-0612 minUnshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation19. Now Commitment vs Later CommitmentIn this episode, your host Danny Poelman discusses the importance of decision making and why deciding when you will make a commitment is imperative to the success of your journey. The brain uses up a lot of energy just thinking about what decision it needs to make, and by pondering on your commitment to change for too long you may fatigue your brain. Listen to the full episode to learn more about why making a commitment to yourself in a timely manner is helpful to your overall journey and how you can start integrating this into your...2022-08-2222 minUnshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation18. A Little Taste of the Chain Breaker ProcessIn this episode, your host Danny Poelman talks about the chain breaker process, his new group coaching program, and how that has helped the people who joined. Listen to the full episode to learn more!Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives.Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoachingReady...2022-08-0813 minUnshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation17. Lessons From a Client (Ben)In this episode Danny Poelman shares lessons learned from his client Ben, and the successes he has experienced. It's an episode to celebrate wins and to show that coaching really does work.Listen to the full episode to learn more!Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives.Check out Danny's...2022-08-0117 minUnshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation16. What To Do After You've Looked At PornIn this episode, Danny Poelman talks about the feelings and thoughts we may experience after watching porn during our healing journey. He breaks down myths about progress being linear, gives actionable advice to continue sustainable progress, and how to adjust your thoughts and confidence during this time. Listen to the full episode to hear Danny break these concepts down even further and help you get on the road to sustainable habit change.Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real...2022-07-2624 minUnshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation15. The Triangle Offense of Habit ChangeHabit change is a process that is refined over time. It is literally the consistent work that is put into the process of changing habits that yield results. In this episode, your host Danny Poelman breaks down the Triangle Offense to Habit Change. The 3 pillars of this process are:1) Love and accept yourself2) Feel your feelings without reacting to them 3) Commitment to your purposeListen to the full episode to hear Danny break these concepts down even further and help you get on the road to sustainable habit change. ...2022-07-2135 minUnshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation14. Inspiration and You're Not AloneYou are not alone. If you feel stuck in your journey to quit porn, or like nothing you do is working, I want this episode to serve as inspiration that things can change and be better. That there are ways to work on your growth and healing that are sustainable and productive. That you're not broken. There's nothing wrong with you. That you are here as you're meant to be. Listen to the full episode to learn moreDanny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and b...2022-07-0525 minUnshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation13. People Pleasing Leads to Urge PleasingAre you people pleasing? Do you find yourself giving in to your urges too much? Are you afraid of the consequences of your "no's"? It's perfectly normal. When we are on the journey of healing, one of the hardest things to practice is enforcing our boundaries. In this episode Danny Poelman talks about the importance of enforcing boundaries and how to get out of the unhealthy habit of people pleasing. Listen to the full episode to learn moreDanny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy...2022-06-2717 minUnshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation12. Joy your way to successIn this episode Danny Poelman discusses joy and how that can be an excellent way to create change and success. By thinking of the things we need to do in joyful ways, it'll create a shift in the ways that change happens. Listen to the full episode to learn moreDanny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn...2022-06-1318 minUnshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation11. Questions to Guide Your TransformationAre you asking yourself the right questions? In this episode, Danny Poelman goes through the questions he has had to ask himself to facilitate change is his mindset, habits, and life. He offers the questions that can be helpful for thought work and accountability as well as questions to define the 'why' in your journey. Listen to the full episode to learn moreDanny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to...2022-06-0630 minUnshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation10. How to check in with yourselfHow often do you check in with yourself? Did you know that checking in with yourself is an important practice to help you change habits, stay happier, feel more fulfilled, and determine what areas of your life you can work on. In this episode Danny Poelman offers some helpful questions to ask yourself when you are checking in. Listen to the full episode to learn more!Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage...2022-05-2419 minUnshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation9. Lessons From ClientsIn this episode Danny Poelman shares some of the lessons and successes his clients have shared. It's an episode to celebrate wins and to show that coaching really does work.Listen to the full episode to learn more!Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives.Check out Danny's Instagram here...2022-05-1628 minUnshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation8. Counteracting Decision FatigueDecision fatigue affects us all and it can make it very difficult to move forward in our goals. In this episode Danny Poelman talks about decision fatigue, how it affects us, and how we can counteract it to make better, healthier, and more impactful decisions in our day to day. Listen to the full episode to learn more!Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. He created...2022-05-1024 minUnshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation7. Feeling Depressed is Better Than PornIn this episode Danny Poelman talks about the humanity in feeling depressed, and how it does not mean you aren't healing or improving your life. We can often feel like our sadness and depression means that there is something wrong with us, but on the contrary, it means that we are human, feeling human emotions. Listen to the full episode to learn more!Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want i...2022-05-0238 minUnshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation6. Thinking as an ActionIn this episode Danny Poelman discusses how our thoughts drive our actions, and how we can best use them to create genuine change in our day to day lives. He talks about the differences between the upper and lower brain, how we can restructure our thoughts to create meaningful change, and how we have more power over our habits than we think. Listen to the full episode to learn more!Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real l...2022-04-2525 minUnshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation5. Rule vs ToolIn this episode Danny Poelman discusses the rule vs tool principle. He breaks down how we can rethink the way rules are presented to us to create sustainable habit changes. We use rules as tools to get the results we want. Listen to the full episode to learn more!Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with p...2022-04-1930 minUnshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation4. Are You Looking For Progress Or NotIn this episode, Danny Poelman talks about a problem he often sees with his clients. He talks about measuring progress and how it can be helpful or harmful to reaching our overall goals. There are many ways in which we measure progress, and if we measure them by how many times we fail, it will leave us feeling discouraged at the work we've done. Listen to the full episode to learn more!Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their...2022-04-1119 minUnshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation3. Truly Experiencing the Power of Our AgencyIf you want to truly experience the power of your own agency, you need to understand that that you have the freedom to choose. In this episode, Danny Poelman breaks down the freedoms we have in our thoughts, actions, and decisions, and how we think about those things affect our agency. He breaks down how agency applies to habit change, how mindset can be liberating, and how to change our thought patterns to work for us. Listen to the full episode to learn more. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Danny Poelman is a certified life...2022-04-0418 minUnshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation2. Things We Unduly Blame Porn ForIf you have a difficult relationship with porn, more often than not you will blame porn for the things that are happening in your life. The truth is, our thoughts have a huge impact on how our lives look, feel, are, and porn has very little to do with it. Listen to this episode to learn what we blame on porn, why it may not be as helpful as you think, and what we can do to stop the cycle. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking a...2022-03-2820 minUnshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation1. Be a ReformistIt's a brand new podcast! In this episode Danny talks about the new direction the podcast is taking, the importance of understanding trauma when changing habits, taking the hustle out of life changes, and how to be reformist. It's the start of whole new era in the How to Stop Looking at Porn Podcast. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. He created this podcast to help those w...2022-03-2434 minUnshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation84. A Message of Hope (HTDWP)In this episode, Danny Poelman opens up about how trauma has affected his life, and the importance of hope when dealing with trauma. Danny gets candid about the experience of trauma and its correlation to falling into despair or loss of hope. This episode was created in hopes of inspiring and reminding those who are falling into despair of the state of the world, especially during a difficult time of the year, that where there is hope, there is the possibility for change. To learn more listen to the full episode now!Lindsay and D...2021-12-2319 minUnshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation83. Why status matters when quitting porn and how to approach it (HTDWP)In this episode Danny Poelman discusses why status matters in quitting porn. Not material wealth or societal status, but that status of our mindset. This episode is coming in a time (the holidays) where many of us may struggle with our mindset. I know I definitely struggled, and continue to struggle today. To learn more listen to the full episode now!Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) a...2021-12-1639 minUnshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation82. The Power of Intention (HTDWP)In this episode, Lindsay and Danny talk about the power of intention. Although we may feel inclined to work extremely hard and hustle even harder to get the results we are looking for, that may not be the most sustainable way for change in the long term. Intentions are what allows you to make sustainable changes in your life, without feeling the burnout. Why? Because they are a reminder of why you are doing what you are doing in the first place. If you don't have proper intentions set in place, you can find yourself lost when t...2021-11-1522 minUnshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation81. How to Know You're Overriding Your Body's Intuition (HTDWP)In this episode, Lindsay and Danny talk about your body's intuition and how to know when we are ignoring it. Our bodies and brains are here to help us survive in the moment. The main goal is survival, not to thrive. This leads us to ignoring a lot of what our bodies are trying to tell us when we are in certain situations. This episode talks about how you can recognize those overrides and what you can do about them.Listen to the episode to learn more! Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified li...2021-11-0832 minUnshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation80. Abusive Behavior vs. Abusive Attitudes (HTDWP)In this episode of Latter-Day Saints Dealing with Pornography in Marriage, host Lindsay Poelman talks about the differences between abusive behavior and abusive attitudes. She talks about how behavior always trumps the intention someone has set, and how we can navigate these problems in marriage. Listen to the episode to learn more! Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they wa...2021-10-0423 minUnshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation79. Success Stories and 3 Ways to Deal With Sticky Beliefs (HTDWP)In this episode of Latter Day Saints Dealing with Pornography in marriage, Danny and Lindsay Poelman share some of their past client's success stories. They celebrate the wins and accomplishments of those who have gone through their program.They also talk about 3 strategies to deal with negative thoughts and beliefs. They break down what thoughts are, how they affect our belief system, and what we can do to break those patterns. Listen to the episode to learn more! Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of...2021-09-2023 minUnshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation78. Identity Shift and Staying Focused (HTDWP)In this episode, host Danny Poelman talks about the importance of shifting your identity when changing a habit. He discusses the subtle differences between being a person who is "quitting" a habit, and a person who "quit" the habit. He discusses the importance of inward change and how that affects our habits externally. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what...2021-08-1614 minUnshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation77. Feeling Unmotivated Doesn't Mean You're Not a Motivated Person (HTDWP)In this week's episode, Danny gives us his insight on why feeling unmotivated doesn't make you an unmotivated person. We are so quick to put labels on ourselves, or are really hard on ourselves when we have shortcomings. This is the easiest way to fail, because we are already telling ourselves that we are destined to fail. Listen to Danny as he breaks the cycle and shifts the narrative to giving yourself grace as you work towards the path of healing. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are...2021-07-2514 minUnshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation76. Men Are Not At the Whim of What Women Wear (HTDWP)In this episode Lindsay and Danny Poelman discuss the harms that come from telling women that the way they choose to dress affects men's behavior. This is not only harmful to women, but also disempowers men from making choices from their own agency. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let...2021-07-1219 minUnshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation75. How to Find What Actually Works For You To Succeed (HTDWP)Why is it that we are willing to do anything for our kids to set them up for success, but, at times, maybe without even realizing it, we are unwilling to do that for ourselves? If our children are struggling in school we will get them tutors. If they want to learn a sport we take them to practice/lessons. If they need something, we will find the resources for them, because we want the best for them.Let’s become aware of how we may be holding ourselves back in some very important wa...2021-06-2125 minUnshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation74. The Key to Intimacy (HTDWP)Intimacy is an important part in navigating any relationship. Intimacy can be found in romantic relationships, friendships, familial relationships, and even our relationship with ourselves. It is one of the biggest markers in building a thriving community, or tribe, that will also enrich the life of the individual. In this episode Danny and Lindsay Poelman discuss the 6 forms of intimacy, the effects it has on our lives, and our relationship with intimacy. Join them as they delve into all the nuanced ideas revolving intimacy, and how it can shape complete relationships. Lindsay and Danny P...2021-06-1434 minUnshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation73. The Importance of Letting it be OK Right Where You Are (HTDWP)When learning, or unlearning, something, it is going to have a lot of bumps. Training yourself is a difficult thing to do and faltering is not uncommon. It is normal to feel frustrated, disappointed, or even angry when you don't get things perfect the first time around. But it is important to give yourself grace, especially when working on building a new skill. It is ok to be ok with where you are in your progress.It is ok to be ok with where you are in your journey. In this episode...2021-06-0721 minUnshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation72. Learning to Reconnect With Our Bodies (HTDWP)I believe that we are born emotionally connected to our bodies. Any disconnect we feel today is either instinctual, was instinctual, or was taught to us. And guess what? Anything that was taught out of you can be taught back in. Learning to trust your body is revolutionary. We get to provide what wasn’t provided to us. Tune in to understand why we aren’t connected to our bodies, and get some ideas for how to approach a deep loving connection with that gorgeous, trustworthy body of yours...2021-05-3120 min
Unshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation70. Self-Investment With Erin Aquin (HTDWP)Tune in as I interview Erin Aquin is a Master Certified and Deep Dive Coach who works with entrepreneurs to create more love and success in their lives without burning out. We talk about:· Where certainty really comes from,· Having the courage as a woman to self-invest before your partner is fully understanding,· Investing in yourself when you’re not working,· Baby-stepping yourself into self-care even when it’s uncomfortable,· Why it feels morally incongruous to spend money to feel great, and· Erin drops truth bombs around coaching being the less expensive option when it comes to staying married versus get...2021-04-3048 min
Unshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation69. Planning to Look at Porn Isn't Worse Than Reacting to An Urge (HTDWP)“It’s not okay to plan to look at porn,” right?If you think that reacting to urges with porn is better than planning to look at porn, you are accidentally buying in to some disempowering, progress-hindering ideas.What is an Exception Plan?Let me walk you through some of the things I’ve found while working with men to quit the habit of porn.Tweaking your mindset in these ways can have a surprisingly impactful effect.You can fight harder, with your same approach, and keep porn in your life longer.Or you can take a new, smarter approach...2021-04-2242 min
Unshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation68. Relevant Motherhood (HTDWP)Lindsay does a solo episode.Whether you are a family-oriented woman or man, tune in for empowering approaches to being a parent.How to bring more YOU to the process, and how that’s a good thing.Relevant Mother hood is: YOU, deciding what works for you.Relevant Motherhood is: YOU, spending energy on yourself and thinking about what you want, not what you think you should want.Relevant Motherhood is: You, carving out your dreams and your life based on your absolute beautiful unique set of experience that NO OTHER HUMAN HASRelevant Motherhood is: You, knowing that it's no...2021-04-0822 min
Unshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation67. Thoughts Really Are Optional (HTDWP)The results in your life come from existing thought patterns in your brain.If you want long-term, sustainable changes in your results, then changing thought patterns becomes very important.Human brains average 60,000-70,000 thoughts each day.95% of your thoughts each day are unconscious/automatic.5% of your thoughts are conscious.Thoughts cause feelings.Even unconscious thoughts can cause negative, neutral, or positive feelings.Thought Work is using part of our conscious thinking time to examine the unconscious patterns going on.Gaining awareness of a pattern helps you gain authority over it.This is where your power to choose comes in...2021-03-1834 min
Unshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation66. Rest, Recovery, & Self-Discovery (HTDWP)Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or www.dannypoelman.comClick Here for Lindsay’s Find Relief Right Now Guide:https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/reliefnow1For Danny's free 3-Part video series on H...2021-03-0527 min
Unshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation64. What is Emotional Abuse? (HTDWP)When you are a fish in water, you don’t even know you’re in water.Just because an abusive behavior exists does not make someone an abuser.You can honor your own feelings AND increase your awareness WITHOUT putting your marriage in jeopardy (if you choose).There are disempowering and empowering ways to approach the subject of abuse. You experience both ways while you’re healing/growing.Your process is unique to you.Developing your Self-Concept is key, for quitting porn and for up-leveling your marriage.Setting boundaries can become easy and full of love.Up-leveling your marriage experi...2021-02-1146 min
Unshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation63. Why Not to Track Your Streak (HTDWP)“I’m starting over.”“I lost all my progress.”For many of us, streak-tracking is the only key-indicator we use to measure our progress.A streak is the number of days you’ve gone without porn.Streak = progressHas this approach gotten you where you want to be? If not, maybe it’s time for a new approach.Alternatives to streak-tracking discussed.What if we prioritize tracking our use of a well-planned system over tracking how many days it’s been since last viewing porn.Getting reps in is more important than amount of time spent on a goal, or new habit. What...2021-02-0431 min
Unshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation62. Feeling Alive in 2021 (HTDWP)Lindsay’s shares some lessons from 2020. Including lessons on perfectionism and “reframing.”Coaching on porn/marriage helps you achieve business goals. What?!How to feel more alive and more fully embrace this experience we call being human. Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marr...2021-01-2229 min
Unshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation61. How Money Goals Are Related to Porn: There is Not Better Than Here (HTDWP)Money goals are like porn goals.Some lessons from 2020.Our relationship with money has everything to do with our thoughts about money.Danny shares about his work on money beliefs in 2020.Have you ever thought:“Once I make $X amount of money, I’ll be enough.”“Once I have $X amount of savings, I’ll be enough.”“Once I am out of student loan debt, I’ll be enough.”“Once I grow my business to $X in a year, I’ll be enough.”We do this with porn too:“Once I stop looking at porn, I’ll be enough.”“Once he stops looking at porn, I...2021-01-0144 min
Unshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation60. Guest: Krista St-Germain, Using Grief to Your Advantage (HTDWP)Don’t be too quick to skip this one just because it’s about grief. Grief does not only apply to losing loved ones. Grief is also part of the way we experience relationships with ourselves and others.The way we interact with grief matters. And it is, in our experience, a regular part of personal transformation.If you’ve ever found yourself thinking:“I should have done it differently.”“My best days are behind me.““That was my shot.” (And it’s gone, that was it. No more.)If you recognize these ideas from your own life, then come dig deeper what...2020-12-1747 min
Unshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation50. Feeling Triggered During the Holidays (HTDWP)7 Ways to Build Self-control and Enjoy the Holidays:1. Give yourself permission to not want to do certain things with your family.2. Drop the judgment toward yourself3. Take moments to recharge when you need them.4. Give people permission to not change at all.5. Be willing to let discomfort be part of the holidays.6. Own responsibility for your own thoughts/feelings and let others own theirs.7. Do Thought Work/coaching/self-coaching.This month is the perfect opportunity to work on these things.We discuss these things more in depth in our podcast today, with a real client example.Many guys look...2020-12-0440 min
Unshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation49. Three Beliefs Required For Healing & Transformation (HTDWP)1. It’s not only okay, but also an important part of your growth to allow yourself to want more.2. You can experience desired changes regardless of whether the people/circumstances around you change.3. The changes you want are possible. If you can desire it, it is possible. The changes you want start with you. Would you really want it another way?You want that power. Trust us. It’s a good thing.Listen in on our discussion in today’s podcast episode.Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Lat...2020-11-2425 min
Unshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation48. Four Things to Know When He's Looking at Porn (HTDWP)When finding out your husband has been looking at porn, some people over-react, some people under-react, but we would offer to you that all reactions are normal.Your reaction can show up physically in your body.Some of it feels voluntary, some involuntary.And maybe many emotions that you either aren’t sure how to handle or feel incapable of handling.Don’t worry, we’ve got you.Tune in to find out these 4 things that you need to know right away to start finding relief and healing. To help you feel more in control, at least a little bit. D...2020-11-2016 min
Unshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation45. You Don't Need a Substitute (HTDWP)Have you heard the idea that if you are going to quit a habit (like porn) that you need a replacement habit?While the idea behind this can be helpful, the mindset with which you approach it might not be.You may be accidentally reinforcing your urges to go back to the old habit.For a habit you’re trying to quit, the last thing you want to do is make it even harder to quit.Tune in to this podcast episode to learn how to tweak your mindset in a way that will make it that much easier to...2020-10-2321 min
Unshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation44. Get Some New Problems (HTDWP)Do you feel like you are experiencing the same problems over and over?If you want to solve your problems, we are talking about some things you need to know in this podcast.It is likely that you will need to look at your problem in a new way if you want new results.New results doesn’t mean NO problems, it just means NEW problems.Why getting new problems can be the best thing ever.Some examples of what your life could be like if you join in the process of solving your problems, first, at the level of...2020-10-1625 min
Unshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation43. Why Coaching isn't Free (HTDWP)Yes. Talking about money is directly related to you learning how to not look at porn, and/or creating the life and marriage you want.If you have any “money drama” at all about investing in coaching for yourself (so many of us do), part of you might want to skip this podcast. Don’t do it!The reason we avoid this type of conversation, is because of the money drama we create in our minds and the feelings that brings up.But do you really want the thinking you’ve learned toward money to be what stands in the way...2020-10-0851 min
Unshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation42. It’s 100% Okay to Love Your Life AND Want More (HTDWP)You feel like maybe you shouldn't want more because you already have so much. Or because other people need it more.For you husbands, part of you wants porn. Part of you doesn’t. You want to not want porn.You’re more likely to “distract [yourself] with pleasure when [your] life is void of meaning.” Because “the chief desire of man is not pleasure but meaning.” -Viktor Frankl (Holocaust survivor/neurologist/psychiatrist)So how do you intentionally bring meaning back into the picture?It starts with wanting.You now have permission to want more without rejecting your current self/circums...2020-09-2431 min
Unshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation41. You Don't Need an Excuse to Struggle (HTDWP)You’re struggling but you think you’re not supposed to struggle because you’ve been so blessed.You feel alone in your struggle, but you can’t tell anyone if you’re not “supposed” to be struggling in the first place.Is your struggle not socially acceptable?“Where much is given, much is required,” you tell yourself.You want help with your struggles but don’t tell anyone or ask for it because it’s not supposed to be there.You want to be open and honest but you hold back because certain types of struggle (porn) are just “not okay.”If you...2020-09-1725 min
Unshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation40. Your Newer Better Normal (HTDWP)Do you find yourself frustrated and powerless while wishing for things to be different than they are?Maybe you want to go back in time.Maybe you think a new husband will do the trick. Or you wish you struggled with a different vice than porn.Why do we not want to accept our new “normal”?Why can’t I handle it on on my own like “normal” people?It’s one thing to use imagination as the end goal to help escape our real life in this moment.It’s another thing to use imagination as a tool to help you kn...2020-09-1037 min
Unshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation39. How to Make Sure You're Progressing (HTDWP)People come to us all the time worried that they aren't progressing:* sustainably* in the way they want to* fast enough* at all* Or everything is just getting worseIf you are here reading this, progress is probably important to you.Even if porn is not your specific issue, these ideas can help you.Wanting instant results with little to know effort is part of what keeps leading you back to porn. Instant dopamine - hardly any effort.Using the same approach that leads you to porn is not going to help you learn the skill of not looking at...2020-09-0338 min
Unshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation38. I Should Have Known Better (HTDWP)We do it. Our wives do it."I should have known better" seems like a helpful story. But it's hurting you more than you know. How to be less obsessed about making the right decision and more focused on making the best decision you can.When we bash ourselves for decisions we made in the past, we can unknowingly extinguish the confidence and trust in ourselves that we could be accessing now.Confidence and trust that would help you make better decisions now and in the future.We expect to be duped again.We buy into the idea that...2020-08-2826 min
Unshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation37. Staying Committed and Being Uncomfortable (HTDWP)Looking at porn is a quick, easy way to get a big dopamine hit that tricks our brains into thinking it accomplished something important to our survival.Often times, when guys want to learn to stop looking at porn, they want to take this same approach.Where's the magic pill that makes my desire for porn go away?If I had it, I would have taken it years ago. And I'd be selling it for millions of dollars right now.But if we use the same quick/easy approach in our efforts to quit porn, we'll just keep turning...2020-08-2128 min
Unshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation36. Special Snowflake Syndrome (HTDWP)You are unique. You are one of a kind. Nobody is arguing with that.But it’s possible to take this mentality to an unhelpful level. To a level that:-halts your ability to change-prevents growth-shoots yourself in the footIt’s called Special Snowflake Syndrome.Signs you might be doing this would be if you are thinking:-That works for other people but not for me.-I’m extra broken.-I always have compassion for others in these scenarios, but not for me.-My situation is just different because______-I should know better.-Other people just don’t understand.Basicall...2020-08-1332 min
Unshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation35. Spending Time Self-Coaching Actually Saves You Time (HTDWP)If you think you can’t afford to spend time self-coaching, we ask you this:What if you can’t afford not to self-coach?Self-coaching is a way to practice managing your own mind.We’re talking about how having a regular practice of self-coaching can actually create more time for you.How it can create more ease and clarity in your life.Less willpower-battling and more sustainable power.Why people don’t want to do it.Some of the pitfalls people run in to.Our personal experience with self-coaching and just how impactful it has been.Accelerate your desired...2020-08-0635 min
Unshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation34. Validation (HTDWP)Lots of people want to feel validated, but what does that mean? And what does that look like in marriage?Don’t expect your validation to all come from one person. (Have a few different sources for different subjects)The most important person to get validation from is yourself.You don’t have to validate anyone that you don’t want to.Be willing to recognize whether validation is the most helpful thing for you in that moment.When is validation useful?When is validation not useful?Even if other people validate and agree with you, you are still respon...2020-07-2337 min
Unshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation33. People Pleasing in Marriage, Part 2 (HTDWP)Alternatives to people pleasing:The importance of wanting.Charity: pure love.Permission to say “no” helps saying “yes” genuinely come from you.Do you think you should be abandoned? Do you think you are worth being married too? I mean the REAL you. We make this about how others judge us, but it’s about how we judge ourselves.If people you care about are upset with you, and you don’t see this as anything having gone wrong, how different would your approach be?How to show up and support your spouse even better in this situation.Personal experience w...2020-07-1624 min
Unshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation32. People Pleasing in Marriage, Part 1 (HTDWP)People pleasing comes up a lot with people we work with.It promotes shame and secrecy, not being authentic to yourself.It can interfere with intimacy and connection and healthier relationship.How we see this show up in people’s marriages.The term “people pleasing” sounds too pretty, too pleasant.We’re talking about what people pleasing really is.How to spot it.Why we do it.Why it can almost feel like life-or-death.How to do something constructive about it.Some personal experiences.Maybe you’re worried that honesty with her will limit your access to porn AND to sex wit...2020-07-0929 min
Unshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation31. How Grounding Can Help Your Marriage, Part 2 (HTDWP)What kind of thoughts are grounding?Which ones aren’t?Thoughts create Feelings, Feelings drive Actions, Actions create Results.The results in your life start with your thoughts.Thoughts are optional.What if you knew that you could handle any emotion or body sensation (or urge) that came your way?What would that be like?How do you start creating a more fully engaged human experience for yourself?Reframing things in your mind can make all the difference. So let’s do it intentionally. Because it’s life-changing in all the most important ways.Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certif...2020-07-0220 min
Unshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation30. How Grounding Can Help Your Marriage, Part 1 (HTDWP)Like an electrical circuit, the human body has energy and even literally electricity flowing through it.Thoughts and emotions have energy to them.But what do you do when it feels like there is a short circuit?What can you do with the excess energy or the energy that’s stuck? Or with emotional pain that seems overwhelming?Or with urges that seem overpowering?Grounding is a place to start.It is a skill you can learn.Some activities may be more naturally grounding for you. Find what works for you.Some different ideas on how to approach grounding.Wh...2020-06-2538 min
Unshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation29. What Does It Mean to Be a Provider? (HTDWP)How do you approach your decisions about money in your marriage?Do you feel insecure? Get defensive? Do you just defer to the one making the money to make the “big” money decisions?This comes up for people all the time in our conversations with them.When Danny stopped working for a time, and Lindsay began working, it felt like our world got turned upside down.It was challenging. There were doubts, insecurities, friction to be worked through.You don’t need your circumstances to become drastic or dire to learn these valuable lessons from our experience. You may able t...2020-06-1844 min
Unshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation28. The Decisions You Don't Even Know You're Making (HTDWP)Deciding is one of the most powerful things we do. In fact, all of your power starts with deciding.How are you directing that power?What holds you back?What decisions might you be making without even realizing it?We are talking about how your brain might be behaving in these situations, and how you can better utilize that machinery to create the life you want. To make the change you’ve been looking for. To take some of that weight off of your shoulders.You are probably lugging more weight around with you than you realize with your ap...2020-06-1139 min
Unshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation27. Results - Why You Are Where You Are Now (HTDWP)What are your current results in life and why do you have those results?If you know you want something more, don’t get ahead of yourself.First, it’s so important to understand why you are where you are now. Doing so will allow you to create new results in your life. We are using the Self-Coaching Model to explain how to start this process.How it has impacted us personally. How it is impacting clients.What blindspots might you have in your own brain/thought patterns?Even though actions are what create results, your results ultimately start some...2020-06-0436 min
Unshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation26. Feelings Drive Your Actions More Than You Know (HTDWP)Some people say “I don’t have time for feelings, I just need to get the job done.” But what they don’t know is that feelings help get the job done.That’s why we are talking about feelings in this episode. If you want to achieve your goals, get out of pain, improve your life, grow, then feelings are crucial.Many of us naturally disconnect from our feelings.Feelings drive your actions.What are they? Where do they come from?Where do I start? How do we approach them without getting overwhelmed?What if it feels awkward, uncomforta...2020-05-2833 min
Unshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation25. Fact vs. Story (HTDWP)What stories about your problem do you assume to be true?We’re discussing why this is so important to look at. How it can reduce your pain. How it can empower you to take control of your life in a new way. How it can help you create results you don’t even currently realize are possible.Some personal examples.Could the stories you tell in your brain be creating your results in your life? Could they be optional?Circumstances (Facts):-neutral data points that have happened in the world-something about which everyone agrees-no adjectives or judgmentsThoughts (Story):-sen...2020-05-2134 min
Unshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation24. Intentional Healing (HTDWP)Why are we talking about this?-for people who want to heal from past injuries-but also for people trying to get in the game and perform at a higher levelDanny’s experience with PTSD. Lindsay’s experience with numbing.Our bodies want to heal. Period. Not only physically but also emotionally.3 steps to intentional healing:-safety-correction-repetitionBe your own biggest proponent for your healthcare and healing in general.This is not only about healing and recovering from past injuries (physical or emotional), but also about the future. If you became really skilled at healing, what would that mean for you?What...2020-05-1430 min
Unshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation23. Fear of Failure (HTDWP)Bad news: if you want a change or want to accomplish something new, you’ll need to fail, a lot. We’re talking about why we naturally think this is bad news and how it might actually be good news.Why do we fear failure? What is so bad about it? Which part of that do we actually control?Failing well is a skill. And an essential one to get you where you really want to go. How to start developing that skill.Some empowering questions from Linz at the end. And, as usual, some personal experiences thrown in alon...2020-05-0731 min
Unshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation22. Who You Are vs. Who You Want the World to See (HTDWP)You know that space between who you actually are and who you want the world to see? We’re talking about that here. Why is it there? How do we bring them into alignment? What gets in the way?Whether it’s wanting to be the kind of guy that doesn’t look at porn (while you’re not that guy yet). Or some other way that your current situation doesn’t quite match with where you want to be. You can bridge the gap if that’s what you want. There really is a way. So tune in.Lindsay and...2020-04-3028 min
Unshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation21. Real Self-Care is Different Than What You Think It Is (HTDWP)Why are we talking about self-care? Maybe you’ve heard it’s important. Maybe you want to get better at it but struggle to know where to start. Or maybe you have a hard time getting yourself to do the things that you’d really like to do to take care of yourself. We’ve been there. We can relate.Join us as we talk about what real self-care is and why it is important. Signs that you might not be taking care of yourself in some way. How to use self-care to help you better achieve your goals in life...2020-04-2333 min
Unshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation20. Managing Triggers When Going in Public With Your HusbandDo you struggle going out in public together? Are you worried about your husband’s wandering eyes? Do you hate the feelings that come up? Do you feel like you’d rather just not go out, or have to control how and where you go to work around this?We are talking about why you might be having these feelings and how to work through them and manage them in a more empowering way.For you husbands who worry about your own triggers and wandering eyes, some tips for how to approach this as well. You have so much more powe...2020-04-1640 min
Unshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation19. For the Parents of the Person Who Needs Coaching (HTDWP)People often hire us to coach their kids, whether they are trying to go on a mission, a return missionary, or just learning to navigate their life as a young adult. Since they are the ones paying and their loved one is the one getting coached, sometimes there are some questions that come up.In this podcast, we address some of those questions. We take you through some of the things that might be going on in your mind, what to start being aware of, and helpful ways to proceed in making your decision.How to best show up...2020-04-1031 min
Unshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation18. How to Start Mastering Your Emotions and Why (HTDWP)A powerful concept to help you in your efforts to manage your emotions: 50/50. What buffering is and why we do it. Common pitfalls in the way we approach our negative emotions.The 50/50 progression. How this can help you to drop habits you want to drop, reach your goals, and start creating in a way that’s unstoppable. You only have one life as a human, so how do you make the most of experiencing the full human experience.Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny he...2020-04-0331 min
Unshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation17. Being Home Together: Problem or Opportunity? (HTDWP)Do you have problems from being quarantined? Or have you just been quarantining your problems?Get a little insight into why things might not be as pretty as you’d hoped they’d be while you are all quarantined at home together. Some helpful tips.A guide on how to stay sane during this time, and really any time. Because the reality is, you can have anxiety/stress provoking thoughts and feelings at any time, COVID-19 or not, quarantined or not. Likewise, you can show yourself some love by owning what you can control, empowering yourself, and showing up the...2020-03-2735 min