Shows
The Pressures of PrivilegeBlogcast: The missing piece in every productivity systemAs you know, I'm someone who geeks out over productivity systems and uses a digital task manager called Things3 for my to-do lists. (Yes, I know - I collect productivity systems like some people collect vintage wine.) But what drew me to The Grid is that it’s designed for people who value health—it’s analog, and it’s grounded in neuroscience.
A narrated essay from The Pressures of Privilege. Subscribe for more essays and reflections: https://dianaoehrli.substack.com/subscribe2025-05-3004 min
The Pressures of Privilege#6: Better Golf, Better Life | Dr. RichIn this conversation, Dr. Rich discusses the mental aspects of golf and how they relate to personal growth and self-awareness. He shares insights on the importance of presence, mindset, and the connection between golf and life skills. The discussion also touches on meditation, mindfulness, and the role of music in enhancing performance. Dr. Rich emphasizes the significance of letting go of control and trusting the process, as well as the value of self-awareness in improving one's game and life.
Links
Dr. Rich Golf
Takeaways
Improving golf skills can lead to...2025-05-2054 min
The Pressures of PrivilegeBlogcast: Your integrity is calling you homeBefore I tell you a story about finding belonging and holding onto one’s true self in life, I wanted to share a photo taken by Henry, my morning walking and fishing buddy. Apparently, last week’s photo of the Cliff Walk didn't look 'cliffy' enough. So here's an action shot of yours truly with her faithful companion clambering on the rocks. There's something about these rugged edges that reminds me of the tops of mountains in the Adirondacks. Imagine if the water were gone, this could be the summit of Mount Marcy. Plus, these coastal rocks have weathered count...2025-05-1608 min
The Pressures of PrivilegeBlogcast: Beauty on the Cliff Walk, worry in my heartMy day started beautifully. My neighbor Henry, my dog Fritzli, and I walked Newport's rocky cliffs. The sky was blue, the ocean glistened. On our way home, I noticed the perfectly green leaves and blossoms on the trees.
Thank goodness I have this morning walking routine. Without it, life would be stale air.
Starting a blog post is near-impossible when you worry about family. I have one loved one in the hospital and another who is struggling, which makes happy Mother’s Day greetings feel bittersweet.
Speaking of moms - mine usually forwards Se...2025-05-1104 min
The Pressures of PrivilegeBlogcast: The shocking truth about the addiction treatment industryWhile I was in London last week, I chatted with a friend who places children into top British boarding schools for a fee. Nothing wrong with that! But it made me think about my training as an addiction recovery specialist and interventionist, where we were warned that "selling souls" was highly unethical and illegal in most states. Both involve placing people in residential facilities, but with vastly different ethical standards....
A narrated essay from The Pressures of Privilege. Subscribe for more essays and reflections: https://dianaoehrli.substack.com/subscribe2025-05-0404 min
The Pressures of PrivilegeBlogcast: London Marathon morning: finding my NYC anchor6:30 a.m. — I've just arrived at London Heathrow after flying from Boston. The weather here is surprisingly sunny and warm - a welcome change from the mist and wind I left behind. I've never experienced such fast immigration and baggage "reclaim." I literally never stopped walking since exiting the plane and the espresso at the airport bar is really good. Apparently, all those jokes about British food don't apply to coffee.
7:30 a.m. — The taxi driver was happy to bring me to Mayfair, where I am staying. He talked about finances on the phone the entire drive. A qu...2025-04-2704 min
The Pressures of PrivilegeBlogcast: I wish men could all be like my doormenTake Lorenzo. He recognizes my routine. When he sees me walking out the door on my way to karate class wearing my backpack, he usually says, "kick some butt." And when I return red-faced and sweaty, and sometimes even limping, he goes, "Hard class, hey?"
Then there's Julito. He has back problems but he's always cheerful and asks me how I am and how my kids are. When things got hard with a loved one this past year, he said, "take it one day at a time."
Then there's Joe. He's a rock and roller...2025-04-2003 min
The Pressures of PrivilegeBlogcast: Remembering Esmond Harmsworth: from Monte Carlo to foreverThis is taking all of my will and energy to write. My dear friend Esmond Harmsworth passed away suddenly a few days ago and I don't feel like doing much of anything anymore. He was my anchor, my confidant, my mentor, my cheerleader. He was also a faithful reader of this column. Just this January, he texted me: "I'm so enjoying your current series on Substack. You have so many things exactly right! It's a pleasure to read." So, dear reader… I will keep this week's post short. My heart isn't in writing something smart, witty, or helpful. But I...2025-04-1303 min
The Pressures of PrivilegeBlogcast: The shifting definition of wealth: from responsibility to raw numbersGrowing up in the south of France as well as in a castle, my understanding of wealth was shaped by reading stories written by the Comtesse de Ségur, one of the most popular authors of the Bibliothèque Rose, a French literary collection known for its pink children's books. In these tales, set against the backdrop of European aristocracy, being privileged wasn't about money and luxury—it was about responsibility, kindness, good manners, and generosity....
A narrated essay from The Pressures of Privilege. Subscribe for more essays and reflections: https://dianaoehrli.substack.com/subscr...2025-04-0608 min
The Pressures of PrivilegeBlogcast: When philanthropy meets prejudiceI stood in the bustling conference hall in London, clutching my copy of the memoir. Across the room was its author—a man whose words about losing a parent at a young age had resonated with my own experience of losing my father at age five. The fact that his mother had been from Newport, like me, felt like an amazing coincidence.
Heart pounding, I approached his booth.
"Your talk today was incredible and I loved your memoir," I told him, pointing at my copy.
“You actually read it?”
“Of course, I'm from...2025-03-3004 min
The Pressures of PrivilegeBlogcast: The trappings of mobility: when freedom becomes flightThe following letter is addressed to "Charlotte," a composite character drawn from several people in my life. Their shared experiences illustrate a particular challenge of privilege: the pursuit of global mobility and tax optimization that can inadvertently lead to a sense of rootlessness. While Charlotte herself is not a single individual, the patterns and struggles depicted here are very real—reflections of dynamics I've witnessed firsthand among those navigating the complexities of wealth and international living.
For American readers: European governments only tax the incomes and assets of their citizens if they are "domiciled" in those European co...2025-03-2304 min
The Pressures of PrivilegeBlogcast: Caught between implicit and overcorrection biasWe all have biases, whether we realize it or not. Sometimes they lurk beneath the surface—implicit biases. Other times, we bend over backward to avoid bias so much that we swing too far—overcorrection bias. My own experiences with being scammed—twice—illustrate how either extreme can lead us astray. I lost money because I didn't want to seem prejudiced. It's a cautionary tale for anyone who's ever second-guessed their instincts in the name of "fairness."
The scam that got me twice
So, I took one for the team—twice. Last week, I almost got scammed ou...2025-03-1608 min
The Pressures of PrivilegeBlogcast: Perfecting the present: the 72-hour perspectiveWe’re obsessed with the future.
We want more money, more success, more clients, more sex—more, more, more.
Happiness is always just around the corner.
We think, if only I were 10 pounds lighter, or if I had that extra $100K in monthly revenue, or if my ex finally realized I was right about everything, I’d…
As a coach, my entire mandate is helping clients get from where they are today to where they want to be. We live in that gap between today and the ideal. (Read The Gap and the Gain...2025-03-0906 min
The Pressures of Privilege#5: The Unlikely Officer | Elwood DasherIn this powerful episode, we sit down with Elwood Dasher, whose remarkable journey from addiction to recovery embodies the transformative power of love and second chances.
For nearly 35 years, Elwood has maintained sobriety after hitting rock bottom with a crack cocaine addiction that began when he was just a child. Growing up in New Jersey as the youngest of seven children, Elwood describes a mother who was both his fiercest protector and greatest influence. Despite her disciplinarian approach, her unconditional love provided the foundation that would later help him rebuild his life.
Elwood takes us...2025-03-041h 04
The Pressures of PrivilegeBlogcast: Attraction, not promotionWhat draws us to certain people or opportunities?
Is it flashy advertising or persistent selling?
It’s neither.
True attraction is something more fundamental. It’s magnetic. It pulls us toward those people or opportunities naturally, without manipulation.
It generates the kind of curiosity that makes you want to read every book in a particular section in a bookstore.
One definition I particularly like describes attraction as: a quality or force of someone or something that tends to pull others in or create interest in the person or thing....
2025-03-0208 min
The Pressures of PrivilegeBlogcast: The power of reserves: why ultra-high net worth individuals need more than just financial securityMost people are running on fumes. Their reserve tanks are empty.
And I’m talking about all kinds of tanks:
Human: Only 12.2 percent of American adults are metabolically healthy; nearly one third feel lonely; and over 75 percent report experiencing at least one stress symptom in the last month.
Intellectual: The US ranks 36th in literacy in the world. I hear kids don’t read books anymore and get their information from short-form video on social media.
Financial: One-third of the US population has more credit card debt than emergency savings and the numbers...2025-02-2306 min
The Pressures of PrivilegeBlogcast: Choosing a healthy attitude: a habit, not just a choice"Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way," wrote Viktor Frankl in his seminal work "Man's Search for Meaning." He knew the depths of human suffering firsthand, having endured three years across four Nazi concentration camps. During this ordeal, he observed a tragic pattern: those who perished were often those who had lost hope and purpose. When the flame of meaning flickered out, survival became nearly impossible.
A narrated essay from The Pre...2025-02-1606 min
The Pressures of PrivilegeBlogcast: Beyond success: coaching renaissance minds to their true calling"You have plenty of money. Why are you trying to make more?"
This question—posed to me recently by someone whose opinion I value—led me to think about human flourishing, virtue, and the nature of happiness itself. Just yesterday, I found myself absorbed in editing a newsletter for our charitable foundation, feeling a surge of excitement as I worked to make it readable, fun, and informative. This simple task exemplified what I've come to understand about meaningful work: it's not about the money—it's about the engagement, the contribution, the flourishing....
A narrate...2025-02-0908 min
The Pressures of PrivilegeBlogcast: Investing in yourselfIn my younger years, any mention of emotions, self-help, or personal development was met with ridicule. Years later, when I lived in Switzerland, telling someone I saw a therapist was tantamount to announcing I belonged in a mental asylum. Yet mentioning a visit to the local pastor was perfectly acceptable.
Investing in personal growth was never prioritized—unlike financial assets or intellectual pursuits.
For the ultra-high-net-worth community, financial investment comes naturally. We retain elite CPAs, advisors, lawyers, and family office managers to grow and protect our wealth. Yet we often neglect a crucial investment: ourselves....2025-02-0206 min
The Pressures of PrivilegeBlogcast: Turning problems into breakthroughsOne of my life's biggest breakthroughs came as a result of problems.
Due to a misinterpretation of a legal document, I was denied trust income and employment at my family’s real estate business, making me the outlier—the only one out of a dozen individuals—excluded from financial support. The consequence? I threw myself into journalism.
Years later, the breakthrough arrived. The skills I had accumulated through work enabled me to get a position within the family trust and eventually to organize a family mediation, ultimately ensuring that females received a fair share of the bu...2025-01-2605 min
The Pressures of PrivilegeBlogcast: On protection and vulnerabilityThe other day, one of my clients admitted he was afraid he felt vulnerable and defenseless in the event armed robbers invaded his property.
When he said this, I thought about the execution of the nobility during the French Revolution, the Bolshevik slaughter of the Romanov family, and the hushed up murder of the 84-year-old widow of the painter Wassily Kandinsky in Gstaad. In our times, I have to admit that during the days of the George Floyd violence, I set my burglar alarm at night and was on the verge of buying a gun, which a...2025-01-1904 min
The Pressures of PrivilegeBlogcast: Breaking free of the gilded cage — navigating shame, relationships, and the weight of wealth"This village can be a gilded cage," the pastor said. She sat in my living room in the Swiss Alps, holding a mug of warm herbal tea. It had been an intense but liberating hour. I had been sharing my fifth step—a part of the recovery process—a kind of confession delving into one’s moral inventory, focusing on resentments, the causes, how we were affected, our part in each cause, and our fears. When I described my problem with living in the idyllic place I lived—as suffocating—she had made that statement.
Her words struck a c...2025-01-1214 min
The Pressures of PrivilegeBlogcast: The hidden struggle: understanding addiction in privileged familiesHappy New Year! The following post was not easy to write because some of it triggered troubling memories and filled me with fear. Yet these are stories that need to be told—stories about addiction, privilege, and the price of keeping up appearances.
During this past holiday season, I discovered Wim Wenders' film "Perfect Days." It’s the story of Hirayama, a Tokyo toilet cleaner who escaped his family’s life of privilege, abuse, and addiction by embracing simplicity, routine, and mindfulness. His journey mirrors a troubling reality: according to a 2017 Arizona State University study, young adults from a...2025-01-0510 min
The Pressures of PrivilegeBlogcast: Living authentically: trusting yourself in a world that judgesIn college, I loved reading Thomas Mann's "Clothes Make the Man." This short story follows a character who, by wearing elegant clothes, is mistaken for a nobleman. But his charade unravels, and he’s humiliated when his true identity is revealed.
Ironically, I lived the inverse while living in the Swiss Alps: I wore trekking clothes and tried to hide any signs of wealth to avoid judgment.
The fear of appearing arrogant was one factor. Learning about my father’s world was another. My father had been a mountain guide who had painted houses, coached hock...2024-12-2005 min
The Pressures of PrivilegeBlogcast: Invisible children: the hidden wounds of privileged childhoodsThe aroma of oatmeal wafted in the air filling me with a sense of safety. Cheng’s carefully set breakfast table reflected her approach to everything she did—meticulous care, whether it was folding our clothes or making meals.
While many of my peers saw their nannies come and go, Cheng stayed. She became our rock: a constant, reassuring presence, and a stern taskmaster. I am convinced she's the reason I'm alive today. My story is rare: nannies seldom become family, yet Cheng has been with us for nearly 50 years, transitioning from caregiver to cherished grandmother figure in r...2024-12-1407 min
The Pressures of PrivilegeBlogcast: The money taboo: Why wealth can feel ugly to those who inherit itI remember sitting around the dinner table one Christmas, back when our family still gathered for the holidays, before the big court case that ended all that.
"It takes one generation to make it, one to spend it, and one to lose it," my uncle said, his voice carrying the weight of experience.
The table fell silent.
At the time, I thought my uncle had created our wealth. Later, I learned that he had built upon the wise investments our great-great-grandfather had made. Still, his words stayed with me, a reminder of wealth's...2024-12-0607 min
The Pressures of PrivilegeBlogcast: The Pressures of Privilege: a new chapterWhen I told my mother I was going to rename this blog, “The Pressures of Privilege” and start writing about money, she shuddered.
In families like mine, talking about money is taboo—yet it remains central to our lives, often cloaked in terms like "legacy," quietly dictating our choices, relationships, and responsibilities.
Why this change?
Since returning to Rhode Island from Switzerland, I've felt out of alignment. My journey has been unconventional: after seven years in journalism in the US, I spent 17 years in the Swiss Alps, where I connected with my late father...2024-12-0103 min
The Pressures of Privilege#4: From Olympic coach to resilient fitness trainer and life mentor | Jürg MattiJürg Matti is a former professional skier and snowboarder who became a successful coach for the Swiss National Snowboard team. He led athletes to 17 medals, including Olympic triumphs. Jürg was a founding member of the Swiss Snowboard Association and played a crucial role in the sport's development and inclusion in the Olympics.
What we learned:
Jürg's career transition from athlete to coach, and later to personal trainer.
His experience with loss when his first wife, Ursi, a two-time European snowboarding champion, passed away from cancer.
How he coped wit...2024-10-1448 min
The Pressures of Privilege#3: The art of authenticity | Nathan BrujisNathan Brujis, a celebrated artist born in Lima, Peru, shares his journey in art and personal growth. He discusses his early exposure to art through his mother, his academic pursuits in art and philosophy, and his evolving approach to creativity and authenticity. Nathan emphasizes the importance of being true to oneself, seeking counsel, and maintaining humility in both art and life.
In this episode we talk about:
Early artistic influences
Nathan's mother attended art school when he was young
He grew up in her studio, showing natural talent for drawing and...2024-10-0727 min
The Pressures of Privilege#2: On veteran mental health and breaking stigmas | 2 Docs and a Grunt
Luis Fonseca, a decorated Navy corpsman and recipient of the prestigious Navy Cross. Luis' heroic actions in the line of duty have saved many, many, many lives, and his story is one of extraordinary bravery and dedication.
Nate Emery, a 22 year Marine veteran with Combat Tours and Operation Desert Storm and Operation Restore Hope in Mogadishu, Somalia. Nate has dedicated himself to bridging the gap between veterans and mental health professionals. His volunteer work includes speaking engagements at prestigious institutions like the American Psychoanalytic Association, helping to educate therapists on the unique needs of veterans. Nate's commitment...2024-09-301h 04
The Pressures of Privilege#1: On coaching, mental health, and the future of recovery | Bob Lynn, Ed.DThe conversation covers the themes of restoring real relationships, complexities of relationships, consciousness, self-discipline, mental health impacts on relationships, coaching, addiction, trauma, and the state of drug treatment and care. Dr. Bob shares his personal journey, his work in recovery, and his views on the current state of addiction treatment and care. Diana Oehrli shares her journey of self-discovery, the power of mentoring, and the importance of positive relationships. She emphasizes the impact of coaching and the need for genuine care and support in overcoming challenges. Diana also discusses triggers, the value of unconditional love, and the significance of...2024-09-1658 min