Shows
The Potential State PodcastRelational Aid - Practical Skill for Couples in Hard Times - with Dr. Shari GellerLiving in a hard times takes a toll on our relationships. We have changed and so has our partner. One of our biggest resources is our connections. Strengthening our relationships is vital for personal and collective resilience and well-being.
How do we stay open and present to our partner, when our bodies and minds are closed in order to protect ourselves?
OWNURSH!T together with Get Help Israel are happy to host the Relational Aid series. Real talks that offer couples practical tools to help them push past surviving into thriving through trying times.
Join us as we talk...
2024-02-191h 15
The Potential State PodcastRelational Aid - Practical Skill for Couples in Hard Times - with Alan MarriottWe’re deep in wartime.
We’re surrounded by war, trauma, power, dichotomies of good and bad and power. All this impacts our relationships and hurts our ability to be vulnerable.
Join us as we talk with Alan Marriott, professional improvisor, voice actor, teacher and author of Genius Now!
He is one of my all-time favorite improv teachers and he is BRILLIANT. His book is phenomenal and I reached out to him so we can play together and learn from his genius how we can use improv and specifically status play (which is the improv concept of power dynamics) to h...
2024-01-311h 06
The Potential State PodcastRelational Aid - Practical Skill for Couples in Wartime - with Dr. Daniel WienerLiving in a war zone for over three months has taken a toll on our relationships.We have changed and so has our partner.
One of the first things to go is our playfulness, joy and spontaneity.
Without them, we slide into survival mode and our relationships suffer.
OWNURSH!T together with Get Help Israel are happy to host the Relational Aid series. Real, honest talks that offer couples practical tools to help them push past surviving into thriving through these trying times.
In this talk, we hosted Dr. Daniel Wiener, MFT, Drama Therapist and founder of Rehearsals For...
2024-01-251h 09
The Potential State PodcastRelational Aid - Practical Tools For Couples in Hard Times - with Mary Jo BarrettOWNURSH!T together with Get Help Israel are happy to host the Relational Aid series. Real, honest talks that offer couples practical tools to help them push past surviving into thriving through these trying times.
Join us as we talk to Mary Jo Barrett, MSW, Collaborative Change Consultant and author of Treating Complex Trauma: A Relational Blueprint for Collaboration and Change. We will explore how partners can get out of our survival mindstate and re-connect?
For more on Dr. Assael and Galit Romanelli:
https://www.potentialstate.com
https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-other-side-relationships
https://open.spotify.com/show/2...
2024-01-151h 22
The Potential State PodcastRelational Aid - Practical Tools For Couples - with Dr. Betty Martin*** We highly recommend you download and review The Wheel of Consent diagram as you listen to this episode. You can download it here for free: https://www.schoolofconsent.org/downloads
OWNURSH!T together with Get Help Israel are happy to launch the Relational Aid series, a number of real and raw talks that seek to offer couples practical tools that will help them push past surviving into thriving through these trying times.
Join us as we talk to Dr. Betty Martin, Chiropractor, intimacy coach and best selling author of The Wheel of Consent. We...
2024-01-071h 03
The Potential State PodcastRelational Aid - Practical Tools For Couples - with Pastor Kevin A. ThompsonOWNURSH!T together with Get Help Israel are happy to launch the Relational Aid series, a number of real and raw talks that seek to offer couples practical tools that will help them push past surviving into thriving through these trying times.
Join us as we talk to Kevin A. Thompson who is a best selling author, pastor and counselor. We will explore how couples can become better partners, lovers and friends in times of crisis.
For more on Dr. Assael and Galit Romanelli:
https://www.potentialstate.com
https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-other-side-relationships
https://open.spotify.com...
2023-12-2953 min
The Potential State PodcastRelational Aid - Practical Tools For Couples - with Mark O'Connell, LCSW-RJoin us for an honest talk with Mark O’Connell, author and therapist about how couples can hold and maintain personal and relational multiplicity in times of crisis? How do we stay connected to our full self and remain close in times of war?
Dr. Assael and Galit Romanelli run The Potential State and offer individual and relationship coaching with Galit, individual therapy for men with Assael, and couple therapy sessions with Assael or both of us. Yes, we’ve been working together in the clinic for over 3 years and we’ve found it to be re...
2023-12-2652 min
The Potential State PodcastWhat is your emotional range? Are you surviving or living?Imagine all the human emotion would be spread out from 1 being deep despair, all the way to 10 being extreme ecstasy. What would be your range?Which numbers (feelings) are you less familiar with? Many of us are 4-6'ers. We live "between the 40's", keeping it safe, functional but also somewhat numb.In this talk, Galit and I talk about the natural 4-6 phenomenon and its impact on relationships through examples from our own marriage and the clinic.Practical tips will help you expand your emotional range now.For registration...
2021-02-2110 min
The Potential State PodcastWhy do we believe criticism more than praise?Most of us believe criticism (or constructive feedback) more than praise.Why? Because some of us grew up in homes where criticism was a way to show care.Over time, this environment creates a core belief that "love = criticism".Such a tendency leads to relationships fraught with conflict, cynicism, and sarcasm.In this talk, Galit and Assael unpack this core belief and its effects through examples from their marriage and the clinic.Practical tips will help you soften this tendency and create a more positive, complimentary, generative relationship today.For...
2021-02-1411 min
The Potential State PodcastHow to reduce guilt in your parenting?And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoonLittle boy blue and the man in the moon"When you coming home, son?" "I don't know when"But we'll get together then, dadWe're gonna have a good time then...Mothers and fathers feel different kinds of guilt regarding their parenting. Kids grow up fast and we have so many things to do all the time. Times are even more challenging during COVID lock-down.Therefore, the guilt is almost inevitable, but there is hope.You can move from guilt...
2021-01-3108 min
The Potential State PodcastJoy is a VERB, not a noun.Do you secretly find it hard to feel and/or express joy in your personal life? Are you in a relationship with a joy killer?If you do, then you're not alone! In the past months, we have discovered that Assael has trouble expressing joy (can you say, a pessimist?), while for Galit joy is a natural and accessible resource (optimist, or as we call her a unicorn). This sent Assael to family therapy with his parents to understand the source of this difficulty - and he came back with some shocking discoveries. ...
2021-01-2407 min
The Potential State PodcastThe Implicit Power Struggles in Our (and every) Intimate RelationshipEvery couple has implicit power struggles in the different areas of their relationship (sex, money, parenting, looks, intelligence, and so on...).We call this the 95/70 rule.It has been our experience that this dynamic is inherently present and shapes the couples' mutual functioning.One of the ways we have been renegotiating our 95/70 contract in the past year, is by having Galit join Assael's podcast.Reflecting on our journey toward working together, we show how this power dynamic hurts relationships and how to soften this power dynamic in order to deepen intimacy, play, and partnership.
2021-01-1710 min
The Potential State PodcastSolving the problem is the problem.Often times, we (especially men) prefer to solve our partner's problems instead of actually letting their feelings or pain into our awareness.This often leads to a "report talk" dynamic where intimacy is low and partners avoid leaning on each other.In this talk, Galit and I unpack why do we prefer to solve our partner's problems and how to stop that habit through examples from our marriage and the clinic.Practical tips will help you listen more and solve less in your relationships.Click here to join our mailing list and get...
2020-12-2009 min
The Potential State PodcastLose-Lose or Win-Win? You decide.Most couples avoid certain unavoidable Topics or decisions. In couples therapy, we call it crucibles, T-junctions, gridlock, 70% unsolvable issues, and more.Yet by avoiding these 'hot' issues, we are stunting our own growth.In this talk, Galit and I offer a fresh view on these lose-lose dilemmas and offer practical advice on how to lean into them in order to grow.Examples are given from the clinic and from our own drama around a drawing that was scotch-taped to the wall in my mother-in-law's house...Click here to join our mailing list and...
2020-12-1313 min
The Potential State PodcastStop over-apologizing!Are you (or your partner) one of those people who constantly apologize for everything, even for things that no apology is needed (for example, sorry I didn't pick up the paper you dropped)?If so, this is not only a disempowered, defeated stance but also a subconscious passive-aggressive manipulative move. Yes, over apologizing has a "shadow" side.In this talk, Galit and I unpack the science and art of over-apologizing, through examples from the clinic and our lives.Practical examples will help you stop over-apologizing, as well as equip you with better ways to...
2020-12-0611 min
The Potential State Podcast"It's not that important to me" - The sentence that will set you freeWe've all been in this scenario:Your partner asks or remarks to you on something that you don't want to do. Since we're scared of disappointing them and want to avoid a fight, we "smokescreen" our truth and placate them. This often leads to heaviness, lack of play, mind reading, and tension.The solution? “IT'S THAT IMPORTANT TO ME.”In this talk, Galit and I unpack why using this sentence playfully with ownersh!t, can help you become more authentic and open with your partner.Examples are given from the clinic...
2020-11-2909 min
The Potential State PodcastHow to deal with "You're Too Much!" (Especially for Women)How many of you have heard and internalized the feedback that you're "too much"?If so, how has that impacted your life?Every day we work with women (and sometimes men) who have internalized this limiting belief and its negative impact on their lives.In this talk, Galit and I breakdown the gains and losses of this core belief, through examples from Galit's life and the clinic. Practical tips will help you soften this core belief and be your fullest self!Click here to join our mailing list and get free resources...
2020-11-2210 min
The Potential State PodcastThe Victim Competition - Where The Winner is the Biggest LoserSo often couples engage in an unconscious competition who is suffering more in the relationship.This dynamic results in more arguments, less vulnerability, and even a breakup.In this talk, Galit and I describe this dynamic, the reasons behind it, and the damage it creates.Examples are given from our marriage and the clinic.Practical tips will help you soften this dynamic in your own relationship.Click here to join our mailing list and get free resources on enriching relationships every week to your inbox!Click here for more information on o...
2020-11-1509 min
The Potential State PodcastWhy is it hard for us to believe change in our partners? The Natural/Fake EithorWhy is it that when our partner tries to change their behavior, we so often shoot it down, claiming its "fake"?Because often we have this dichotomous thinking (Eithor) that if our partner doesn't do it naturally then they're faking it.But every new behavior will feel somewhat fake because if it was natural for us, we would've done it already!What is the solution?To soften our Natural/Fake Eithor.In this talk, Galit and I explain how this Eithor is created and how it prevents couples from growing and evolving....
2020-11-0808 min
The Potential State PodcastHow to stop constantly interpreting your partner negatively?We all have tense periods where we tend to interpret anything and everything our partner says or does as negative, insulting, hurtful, or aggressive.The Gottman researchers call this dynamic N.S.O - negative sentiment override.This lethal dynamic has a snowball effect that is hard to stop, and can lead to deep resentment and breakup.In this talk, Galit and I explain the reasons and dynamic of NSO through examples from our marriage and the clinic. Practical (somewhat surprising) tips will help you minimize NSO in your relationship today. Click...
2020-11-0112 min
The Potential State PodcastThe Potential State's Top Ten Tips for DatingDating today is not easy.Singles are getting tired and confused as to how to date in the 21st century, COVID, apps-filled era.Yet we believe the dating scene should be approached from a completely different angle:instead of going on dates, choose to see them as PLAY DATES, where your goal is to be yourself and fun.In this talk, Galit and I offer our top ten (somewhat surprising) practical dating tips that will help you be more yourself and more vulnerable in your (play) dates.Click here to join our...
2020-10-2515 min
The Potential State PodcastMediocre (Maintenance) Sex Is Wonderful!The media puts a lot of pressure on us to have wonderful, multi-orgasm, wall-socket sex.But in reality, in a committed long-term relationship, mediocre (maintenance) sex is inevitable. This causes many couples (especially men) to avoid sex and even doubt their relationship.In this talk, Galit and I unpack the truth about maintenance sex and share why it is crucial for happy relationships.Practical tips will help you enjoy mediocre sex (while still aiming for great sex).Click here to join our mailing list and get free resources every week!Click...
2020-10-1107 min
The Potential State PodcastThe Intimacy Queen/King and The disabled Handicapped dynamicDo you feel like you are more emotionally intelligent and somewhat superior in your intimacy skills than your partner?Do you feel like your partner is nagging you and never happy with the level of communication and feelings you express?If you answered yes, then you might be in the Intimacy Queen/King and Emotionally Disabled dynamic. This dynamic hides the fact that BOTH of you are essentially avoiding mature intimacy through your specific roles. In this talk, I explain how this dynamic evolves and how to change it through examples from the clinic.
2020-10-0408 min
The Potential State PodcastYelling and Being Passionate - What's the difference?For many of us yelling is a sensitive issue.We inherit from our families of origin certain beliefs and attitudes about yelling.Yet sometimes, yelling is a sublimatory expression of feelings, frustrations, or even excitement.What is the difference then? How can we distinguish and work with yelling?In this talk, Galit and I unpack this topic through examples from our marriage and the clinic.Practical tips will help you better work with yelling in your relationships. www.potentialstate.comhttps://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-other-side-relationshipshttp://p...
2020-09-2712 min
The Potential State PodcastWhat Kind of Sorry is This?We say sorry all the time (or not enough) in our intimate relationships.But often we confuse between the different types of 'sorry' we use. This often leads to more conflict and stress than forgiveness and closeness.In this talk, Galit and I share the four types of Sorry we've distilled in our life together, using examples from our life.Practical tips will help you distinguish which sorry to use in different scenarios in your relationship.www.potentialstate.comhttps://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-other-side-relationshipshttp://podcast.potentialstate.com/...
2020-08-3006 min
The Potential State PodcastDon't Miss the Point of Disappointment.People are different and so misunderstandings and ruptures are unavoidable. Therefore, disappointments are natural and unavoidable. Many of us avoid expressing and hearing of our partner's disappointment with us. This usually stems from a fear that disappointment leads to abandonment. Yet disappointment is actually a wonderful tool for individual and relational growth! In this talk, Galit and I unpack disappointment and why it's a crucial feeling in relationships, through examples from our marriage and the clinic. Practical tips will help you reclaim disappointment in your relationships for deeper intimacy and growth....
2020-08-2310 min
The Potential State PodcastSensory Preferences - Your Idiosyncratic Map of the WorldWe all react to our MAP of the world and not the objective world.In NLP we say: The map is not the territory. Our map of the world is shaped by our sensory preference (visual, auditory, kinesthetic, audio-digital). Conflicts and tensions in relationships stem from differences in sensory preferences. Learning to recognize your own and other's maps of the world can help you improve your relationships. In this talk, Galit and I explain the different sensory preferences and how they affect intimate relationships, through examples from our life and the clinic. Practical examples...
2020-08-1613 min
The Potential State PodcastAmbition - The Forbidden Feeling (especially for women)A lot of us were taught that "wanting is dangerous" therefore we develop a core belief that "ambition is dangerous" and we either avoid being ambitious or alternatively feel guilty for being ambitious.But Ambition is a healthy feeling that can help you live the life you've always wanted.In this talk, I break down ambition, and through examples from the clinic and my life, show how it can be reclaimed.Practical tips will help you reclaim ambition in your life today.www.potentialstate.comhttps://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-other-side-relationships
2020-08-0206 min
The Potential State PodcastCuriosity - The Cure for Judgement and Boredom in Your Relationship and LifeWe all get bored and judgmental in our life and our relationship.This is a natural effect of growing older.Yet it is possible to prevent these feelings.How?Curiosity.In this talk, I explain how curiosity can prevent and minimize boredom and judgment, through examples from the clinic and my life.Practical tips will help you increase your curiosity today!www.potentialstate.comhttps://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-other-side-relationshipshttp://podcast.potentialstate.com/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXwdZhwQFgUcRQgZoI_L2Uwhttps://www.facebook...
2020-07-1908 min
The Potential State PodcastKeeping Score - No One Ever Wins.It's natural to keep score in our intimate relationship. Yet if it's too rigid it can limit your personal and relational growth. In this talk, I explain why this happens and how to change it through examples from the clinic and my personal life. Practical tips will help you soften the scorekeeping in your life, so both partners can start winning. www.potentialstate.comhttps://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-other-side-relationshipshttp://podcast.potentialstate.com/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXwdZhwQFgUcRQgZoI_L2Uwhttps://www.facebook.com/ThePotentialStatehttps://twitter.co...
2020-07-1308 min
The Potential State PodcastResponsible or Playful? Yes!In each Eithor episode, we tackle a different core dichotomy that limits people's growth. Most of us have a core belief that we can either be playful or responsible. We inherit this core belief from our families of origin and enact it in our lives. This either/or dichotomy (What we call an EITHOR - an internal golem that limits you) hurts your ability to grow and hurts your intimate relationships. In this talk Galit (my wife) and I explore how this EITHOR manifests and how to change it. Examples are given from the clinic and...
2020-06-2906 min
The Potential State PodcastSecrets - The Quicksand That Keeps You SmallWe all have secrets. That's natural.But what limits our growth and relationships is the shame and guilt they cause.But what can we do about it? In this talk, I share the ways in which secrets can hurt your development and prevent your intimate relationships from deepening.Examples are given from the clinic and my life.Practical tips are given how to safely diffuse secrets from the toxic effect in your life.www.potentialstate.comhttps://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-other-side-relationshipshttp://podcast.potentialstate.com/https://www...
2020-06-2808 min
The Potential State PodcastWhat is Your Love Language?We all have a love tank. When it's empty we feel unloved, angry, lonely, and become passive-aggressive. In short, empty love tank=bad relationships.The secret to a good relationship is filling up each other's love tank.How do you do it?Firstly, you must recognize what you and your partner's love language is. Then you must learn how to speak in their love language.In this talk, Galit (my wife) and I discuss the theory of The Five Love language by Dr. Gary Chapman, using examples from the clinic and our marriage....
2020-06-2111 min
The Potential State PodcastThe key to your joy is in your pain.Most of us try to avoid deep feelings of pain, anguish, and despair. Yet by blocking those dark feelings (which I call the 1-3 feelings) you are also blocking your ability to feel deep ecstasy, joy, and elation.In this talk, I explain why the key to your deep joy is in your pain, through examples from the clinic and my personal life.Practical tips will help you gently explore your pain to re-connect to profound joy.www.potentialstate.comhttps://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-other-side-relationshipshttp://podcast.potentialstate.com/
2020-06-1406 min
The Potential State Podcast"Give me more!" - Make a 'more' space in your life."There's no comfort in the growth zone and no growth in the comfort zone."Do people in your life want more from you?Are they excited and invested in your development and growth?Most of us don't have a 'more' space in our lives where we are challenged to evolve and mature by the people around us.In this talk I explain why having a 'more' space in your life will help you develop beyond your comfort zone.Examples are given from the clinic and my personal life. Practical tips are given how...
2020-06-0706 min
The Potential State PodcastYour faults are welcome here.We don't want to show our faults and shadows. We fear that people will hurt, reject, or leave us if they see how "pathetic" we are.Therefore we create environments where you have to bring your "best self", which lead to self-presentation and shallowness. The result is atmospheres lack vitality, play, or growth.In this talk I explain why creating spaces where faults are welcome can enhance and deepen your relationship.Examples are given from the clinic and my personal life. Practical tips will help you create such open spaces in your relationships.
2020-05-3106 min
The Potential State PodcastSeparate Judgement from Distinction.You're a good person. You try not to judge people by their race, religion, sexual orientation, or other criteria.But oftentimes trying to avoid judgment also means avoiding distinction. Distinction is crucial for your ability to understand and be empathetic to the other.Avoiding distinction actually hurts your intimate relationships and lowers your ability to be empathetic to others. In this talk I explain why morphing judgment and distinction hurts your relationship and how you can change that. Examples are given from the clinic and my personal life.Practical tips are given how to reclaim...
2020-05-2507 min
The Potential State PodcastYour wish is NOT my commandMany of us have a core belief that "your pain=my fault or responsibility". Over time this creates another core beilef that "my partner's wishes are my obligation." Soon after, both partners avoid sharing their wishes and start egg-shelling around their partner.This dynamic leads to a loss of play, potential state and a "playground" for you to hear yourself process out loud your dreams and fantasies.In this talk, I explain how this dynamic develops and how to change it, through examples from the clinic and my personal life.Practical examples will help you...
2020-05-1904 min
The Potential State PodcastYour brain is you BODY-guard. Fire it in order to grow!Your brain is built to protect you from pain and danger, which is wonderful.But personal and relational growth demand you let new information "in".Since "there is no comfort in the growth zone", you must learn how to open your mind and let new information in.In this talk, I describe how to fire the brain from being the body guard so you can discover new blindspots and grow.Examples are given from the clinic and my personal life. Pratical tips will help you fire your body-guard and grow.www.potentialstate...
2020-05-1705 min
The Potential State PodcastWhat is Ownursh!t© and how will it change your life.The time has come to finally dedicate an episode to the concept of OWNURSH!T© (Yes, the term is copyrighted). If you really want to change your life, you must begin with owning up to all the unwanted, denied or dissociated parts of yourself (your shadow or sh!t). Ownursh!t© is the complete ownership of your shadow parts to yourself and your partner. In this episode I describe why the act of Ownursh!t© is crucial for individual and relational change, through examples from the clinic and my personal life. Practical tips will help you own...
2020-04-2507 min
The Potential State PodcastRelational Amnesia - Don't forgive yourself for forgetting in relationships.Do you have a dynamic in your relationship where one partner always forgets (for different reasons) and the other always remembers and has to remind their partner what happened? If so, this dynamic prevents the couple from becoming more intimate and equal. In this episode I share why some partners cleave to the "forgetting" business card and the price both partner pay in this rigid, dichotomous dynamic. This is shown through examples from the clinic with real couples. Practical tips will help you soften this forgetting/remembering split in your intimate relationship. www.potentialstate...
2020-04-1905 min
The Potential State PodcastLove is Positive Freedom, so keep coming out!What is love? This is my current definition of love: "Love it the positive freedom to bring my different self-states, within the creative limitations of an intimated, committed, long-term relationship." In this talk, I explain this definition of love and how it can help you create relationships where you are free to be yourself, while growing and being open to your partner. Examples are given from the couple therapy clinic and from my personal life. Practical tips will help you shape your relationship to be full of positive freedom.www.potentialstate...
2020-04-1208 min