Shows
Sex in the CinemaFUN WITH FISH: The Shape of Water w/ Ziah GraceHop on the SITC Submarine because we’re plummeting into the watery, murky depths of interspecies sex. This deep blue beyond is where fish and fowl Neptune and chill.
For this first journey beneath the waves, Torie is joined by Ziah Grace, Austin Chronicle “Best of Austin” 2025 nominee for Best Film Critic and misanthropic beach boy, to soak in Guillermo del Toro’s 2018 Best Picture Oscar winner, THE SHAPE OF WATER.
Prepare yourself for an hour of Siskel and Ebert-coded bickering over a mediocre movie. Highlights include Torie’s monster fetish, Ziah’s impassioned response to an unjust...
2026-02-141h 09
You're Not Crazy: A Podcast for Cycle Breakers with Toxic ParentsWhen Caring Becomes Self-Abandonment: How Cycle Breakers Get Stuck in the Caretaker RoleIn this episode of You’re Not Crazy, therapist and boundaries coach Torie Wiksell shares the truth about how that same caretaking instinct keeps so many cycle breakers stuck. Torie opens up about her own experience navigating guilt, fear, and the pressure to protect the people in her family who hurt her—especially as she shares her own story publicly.
This conversation explores:
How caretaking becomes a form of self-abandonment
Why guilt doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong—it means you’re breaking a pattern
What it actually looks like to stop managing everyone else’s emotions...
2025-10-2824 minYou're Not Crazy: A Podcast for Cycle Breakers with Toxic ParentsCan Boundaries Work With Narcissistic Parents? The Nuanced TruthCan boundaries actually work with a toxic parent? In this week’s episode of You’re Not Crazy, host Torie Wiksell, therapist, boundaries coach, and fellow cycle breaker, unpacks one of the most common (and confusing) questions adult children of narcissistic, borderline, or emotionally immature parents ask: “Is it even possible to set boundaries with them?”
Torie shares:
Why boundaries aren’t about changing your toxic parent — but about protecting your peace.
The messy gray area between low contact, no contact, and everything in between.
How to recognize when boundaries are working — and when it’s...
2025-09-0213 minYou're Not Crazy: A Podcast for Cycle Breakers with Toxic ParentsStop Setting Yourself on Fire to Keep Others WarmIn this episode of You’re Not Crazy, boundaries coach and licensed therapist Torie Wiksell unpacks one of the most damaging cycles cycle breakers face: being scapegoated by toxic parents.
Here’s how the pattern works: your boundaries are violated again and again until you finally react—crying, yelling, or shutting down. That’s when your family points at you as “the problem.” This toxic blame-shifting convinces you that your needs are unreasonable, leading you to overextend yourself at work, in relationships, and even in friendships.
We’ll cover:
The scapegoat cycle: why you’re lab...
2025-08-1913 minYou're Not Crazy: A Podcast for Cycle Breakers with Toxic ParentsWhy Perfect Healing Doesn’t Exist (and What to Aim for Instead)Feeling like you’re “not healed enough” from your toxic family patterns? You’re not broken—and you’re not alone. In this powerful episode of You’re Not Crazy, therapist and boundaries coach Torie Wiksell dismantles the harmful myth of perfect healing that keeps so many cycle breakers stuck in shame and self-judgment.
You’ll learn why healing from narcissistic, borderline, or emotionally immature parents is messy, non-linear, and never a one-and-done checklist—and how chasing “completely healed” can actually block your growth. Torie shares what real progress looks like: building capacity, creating space between...
2025-08-1212 minYou're Not Crazy: A Podcast for Cycle Breakers with Toxic ParentsGuilt-Tripped Again? How Toxic Parents Keep You Under ControlIf you’ve ever felt a pit in your stomach after setting a boundary… or a wave of guilt for saying no to your parent’s last-minute demand… this episode is for you.Guilt has been weaponized in toxic families for generations—and if you grew up with a toxic parent or narcissistic parent, chances are you’ve been conditioned to confuse manipulative guilt with a healthy conscience. But here’s the truth: that guilt you feel? It’s not because you’ve done something wrong. It’s because your parent taught you that their comfort matters more than your well...
2025-06-0316 minYou're Not Crazy: A Podcast for Cycle Breakers with Toxic ParentsMy Parent Can't Really Be a Narcissist, Right?Do you question whether your parent actually is as toxic as they feel sometimes? Then this episode is for you.Today, I’m diving into why so many adult children of narcissistic or borderline parents minimize their trauma, second-guess themselves, and stay stuck in relationships that continue to harm them.We’ll talk about how those temporary “good moments” with your toxic parent aren’t proof that they’re safe—they’re part of the abuse cycle. Those calm stretches after explosive fights are what keep so many of us hooked, waiting for the parent we wish we had t...
2025-05-2017 minSex in the CinemaRE-RELEASE - FULL FRONTAL FAVORITES PART 1: The Brown Bunny, The Dreamers, Boogie NightsUPDATE, MAY 2025: This is a re-release of our premiere episode originally published on 8/9/23. As of May 2025, actor Michael Pitt was indicted for horrific sexual and physical abuse suffered by one or more partners. If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233.
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Torie and Maggie dive into cinematic rarity of films bold enough to tackle the taboo of full frontal male nudity. Torie has difficulty separating the art from the artist with Vincent Gallo's THE BROWN BUNNY (2003) whereas Maggie mines empathy for toxic masculinity. W...
2025-05-141h 00You're Not Crazy: A Podcast for Cycle Breakers with Toxic ParentsThe Gray Area: Understanding Low Contact with Toxic ParentsStuck between staying in a painful relationship with your toxic parent or going full no-contact? There is another option—low contact. In this episode, I break down what low contact actually looks like with a parent who has borderline or narcissistic personality disorder: surface-level conversations, strong boundaries, and emotional distance that protects your peace. I’ll share why this gray area can be the most sustainable choice for many adult children of emotionally immature or toxic parents—and how to know if it’s right for you.Links from this week's episode:Bonus episodes of You're N...
2025-05-0624 minYou're Not Crazy: A Podcast for Cycle Breakers with Toxic ParentsThe Enabling Parent: Things Are Complicated with Your "Healthy" ParentHave you ever wondered why your "healthier" parent never stepped in to protect you? In this episode, I’m pulling back the curtain on the complex role of the enabling parent—one who may seem less toxic than the other but still plays a significant part in family dysfunction. Through their silence, excuse-making, and avoidance of conflict, the enabling parent often allows harmful patterns to persist. It’s easy to grow up seeing one parent as “the bad one” and the other as “the good one,” but the reality is far more painful and complicated.In this episode, I als...
2025-04-2923 minYou're Not Crazy: A Podcast for Cycle Breakers with Toxic ParentsUntangling Codependency When You’re Always the Emotional FixerIf you grew up with a parent who had narcissistic or borderline personality disorder, codependency can sneak into your adult relationships without you even realizing it. What started as a necessary survival strategy—keeping the peace, reading the room, making yourself “easy”—turns into a lifelong pattern of people-pleasing, over-explaining, and walking on eggshells.In this episode, we unpack the everyday signs of codependent behavior: perfectionism to avoid criticism, guilt when setting boundaries, and the urge to fix other people’s emotions so you don’t have to feel the discomfort of their disappointment or anger.These aren...
2025-04-2221 minYou're Not Crazy: A Podcast for Cycle Breakers with Toxic ParentsNavigating Emotions After Growing Up in a Dysfunctional FamilyEver been told to "sit with your emotions" but had no idea what that really means? If you grew up in a dysfunctional family, you’re not alone. In this episode, I break down this common advice into three practical steps that you can use, no matter how clueless you feel right now.Learn how to expand your emotional vocabulary, reconnect with your body’s responses, and process difficult emotions in compassionate ways. It’s never too late to develop emotional intelligence, even if you didn’t get these skills growing up.I also mention the "Bef...
2025-04-1418 min
Moments of MotherhoodSeason 2 Take 2 In this episode of Moments of Motherhood, Bailey and Torie reconnect after a long hiatus, sharing personal updates about their lives, pregnancies, and the challenges of motherhood. They discuss the importance of prioritizing their passions while managing the chaos of family life, the impact of social media on their privacy, and the joys and struggles of postpartum experiences. The conversation highlights their enduring friendship and the evolution of their motherhood journeys, setting the stage for future episodes filled with relatable topics and stories. Takeaways The podcast is a passion project for both Bailey and Torie. Life has been busy and c...
2025-04-1424 minYou're Not Crazy: A Podcast for Cycle Breakers with Toxic ParentsBeing the Scapegoat S*cks: Here's How to Break That CycleIn this episode, I’m diving into the complex and painful role of the scapegoat child in families with borderline or narcissistic parents. If you were always the one blamed for everything—while somehow also being expected to keep the peace—you’re not alone. I’m the scapegoat in my own family, and I know how exhausting and confusing it is.Families like this often use your emotional reactions to reinforce the idea that you’re the problem—giving them a convenient excuse to avoid their own accountability. This toxic pattern runs deep, but there are ways to step o...
2025-04-0817 minYou're Not Crazy: A Podcast for Cycle Breakers with Toxic ParentsWant to Save Your Relationship with Your Toxic Parent? Try This.In this episode, we explore the difficult—but crucial—question: When is no-contact with a borderline or narcissistic parent necessary? This isn’t about pushing you toward cutting ties, but about helping you define the non-negotiable boundaries that protect both your emotional health and the relationship itself.Key Takeaways:✔️ Identifying deal breakers to clarify essential boundaries ✔️ Why thinking about no-contact isn’t giving up—it’s gaining clarity ✔️ How to set boundaries from a place of autonomy, not fear ✔️ Testing smaller boundaries before making drastic dec...
2025-03-3116 minYou're Not Crazy: A Podcast for Cycle Breakers with Toxic ParentsBreaking the Cycle: Learning to Trust YourselfTrusting your own intuition can feel impossible when you grew up with a parent who has borderline or narcissistic personality disorder. Many of us were conditioned to override our gut feelings just to keep the peace—making it harder to make confident, healthy decisions as adults. But self-trust isn’t lost forever. With time, consistency, and the right tools, you can rebuild it and start making choices that truly align with your values.In this episode, I’m diving into: ✔ How BPD/NPD parents train us to ignore our instincts to keep them happy
2025-03-2521 minYou're Not Crazy: A Podcast for Cycle Breakers with Toxic ParentsSigns You Need Better Boundaries with Your ParentStruggling to set boundaries with a parent who has borderline or narcissistic personality disorder? In this episode of You're Not Crazy, I break down five key signs that you need stronger boundaries—and share practical strategies to help you establish them.If any of these sound familiar, it’s time to rethink your boundaries: ✔️ You feel completely drained after interacting with your parent—or even just thinking about them. ✔️ You’re constantly walking on eggshells, afraid of triggering an emotional meltdown. ✔️ You keep getting sucked into their cha...
2025-03-1814 minYou're Not Crazy: A Podcast for Cycle Breakers with Toxic ParentsWhen Your Toxic Parent Becomes a Grandparent to Your KidsAs the adult children of a parent with narcissistic or borderline personality disorder, becoming parents ourselves brings up a whole new set of challenges—especially when it comes to navigating the grandparent-grandchild relationship. In this episode, I dive into the emotional complexities of setting boundaries with toxic parents while trying to break dysfunctional patterns for our kids.I’ll cover:→ How to handle difficult conversations with your children about going no contact→ The impact of a toxic grandparent’s behavior on your kids—and what to watch for→ Why your parent might not be th...
2025-03-0422 minSex in the CinemaSPECIAL EPISODE: BabygirlTorie and Maggie go full-on Siskel and Ebert for this special episode reviewing Nicole Kidman's latest in a series of steamy, psychosexual cinematic narratives, BABYGIRL.
Torie hated it and Maggie loved it but both ladies agree this flick with a feminist bent made a valuable contribution to the conversation around women, age and sexuality (aka debunking the myth that women become sexless empty vessels as soon as the baby farm closes).
PS - follow Torie on Letterboxd @Torie88 !!
2025-02-2537 minSex in the CinemaSPECIAL EPISODE: BabygirlTorie and Maggie go full-on Siskel and Ebert for this special episode reviewing Nicole Kidman's latest in a series of steamy, psychosexual cinematic narratives, BABYGIRL.
Torie hated it and Maggie loved it but both ladies agree this flick with a feminist bent made a valuable contribution to the conversation around women, age and sexuality (aka debunking the myth that women become sexless empty vessels as soon as the baby farm closes).
PS - follow Torie on Letterboxd @Torie88 !!
2025-02-2537 minYou're Not Crazy: A Podcast for Cycle Breakers with Toxic ParentsThe Good Mom vs. The Punishing Mom: Reflections on My Childhood with My Narcissist MotherGrowing up with a narcissistic or borderline parent means constantly navigating two versions of them—the loving, "good" parent and the punishing, unpredictable one. In this episode, I reflect on how caring for my sick daughter brought up memories of my own childhood—where empathy was absent, and love often came with conditions.I’ll explore how these experiences shaped my understanding of parenting, the emotional complexity of breaking the cycle, and the self-gaslighting that happens when you’ve been conditioned to question your own reality. If you’re working to parent differently than you were raised, or are wor...
2025-02-1821 minYou're Not Crazy: A Podcast for Cycle Breakers with Toxic ParentsForgiveness Is Overrated—Now Acceptance? That’s Gold When You're Trying to Heal From a Parent with Narcissistic or Borderline Personality DisorderIf you've ever been told that you have to forgive in order to heal, I want you to know—that’s just not true. In this episode, I’m breaking down why forgiveness is overrated, especially when it comes to parents with borderline or narcissistic personality disorder (BPD/NPD). Instead of forcing yourself to forgive, what if you focused on acceptance instead? Because that’s where the real healing happens.In this episode, we’ll cover:✔️ Why forgiveness is often a trap we get stuck in✔️ The difference betwe...
2025-02-1118 minYou're Not Crazy: A Podcast for Cycle Breakers with Toxic ParentsBreaking Free from Guilt When Dealing with Challenging Family DynamicsIs overwhelming guilt getting in the way of setting boundaries with your borderline or narcissistic parent? You’re not alone. In this episode of You're Not Crazy, I dive deep into the emotional weight of guilt that so many adult children of parents with BPD or NPD experience. I’ll break down how guilt is often used to manipulate behavior, why it feels so intense, and how you can start reclaiming your peace (even when the guilt feels paralyzing).Here’s what I cover in this episode:The difference between healthy guilt and guilt that’s designed...
2025-02-0420 minYou're Not Crazy: A Podcast for Cycle Breakers with Toxic ParentsSurprise 24 Hour Giveaway: FREE Community Memberships & Coaching!We all need a bit more support and connection right now, so I decided to run a surprise giveaway until noon PST tomorrow (Sunday, February 2nd)!Here are the three ways to enter:Tag a friend in the comments on this Instagram post who would love the Confident Boundaries Online Community! You BOTH could win a FREE one-month membership ($39 value each). And as a reminder, when you join the community you get instant access to:→ My course on setting boundaries with BPD/NPD parents→ Bonus podcast episodes & exclusive Q&As...
2025-02-0103 minYou're Not Crazy: A Podcast for Cycle Breakers with Toxic Parents10 Essential Steps for Healing from a Narcissistic or Borderline ParentIn this episode of You're Not Crazy, I’m sharing the 10 crucial steps every adult child of a narcissistic or borderline parent needs to take as a part of their healing journey. Whether you're just starting to recognize the impact of your parent’s toxic behavior or you’re well into your healing journey, this episode will guide you through the foundational steps of breaking free from toxic cycles and building a healthier, more authentic life.We’ll cover:Understanding emotional abuse and its impact on youHow to spot healthy vs. toxic relationship dynamicsSetting boundaries that protect...
2025-01-2835 minYou're Not Crazy: A Podcast for Cycle Breakers with Toxic ParentsYou Need to Be the Villain in Your Toxic Parent's Story in Order to Take Back Control of Your Life and HealBeing the adult child of a parent with borderline or narcissistic personality disorder often means confronting the painful reality of being cast as the "villain" in their story. That s*cks, but learning to sit with this discomfort can help you take back control over your own life and finally prioritize your needs over their expectations.In this episode, we’ll unpack the dynamics that keep you stuck in this role and offer actionable insights to help you step into your villain role:How conditional love shapes self-worthThe exhausting cycle of chasing validation and approvalRecognizing the im...
2025-01-2020 min
Epilepsy Sparks InsightsBeing Involved in Epilepsy Research at iNeuron! - Torie RobinsonPaediatric neurologist, scientist, and PPI Lead Julia Jacobs and Torie Robinson discuss the role of individuals with Lived Experience in research, particularly in the context of the iNeuron project, which focuses on epilepsy, stroke, and dementia. They explore the challenges and opportunities presented by basic science research, the importance of knowledge translation, and the benefits of engaging young researchers. The conversation emphasises the shared experiences across different diseases and the motivation that comes from personal connections in research.
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🔗 Website & more about the study: 👇🏻
https://www.torierobinson.com/epilepsy-sparks-insights/julia-jacobs-ineuron-lived-experience-basic-science
2025-01-1715 minYou're Not Crazy: A Podcast for Cycle Breakers with Toxic Parents5 Toxic Traits I Developed Growing Up in an Emotionally Chaotic HomeIn this episode of You’re Not Crazy, we’re diving into five toxic traits that I developed from growing up in an emotionally chaotic home—and more importantly, how I'm working on them. If you’ve ever struggled with people-pleasing, overexplaining, or feeling responsible for everyone else’s emotions, this episode is for you.Here’s what we’ll cover:✨ Why recognizing and naming your emotions is a game-changer✨ How to stop taking on responsibilities that aren’t yours and set boundaries instead✨ Transforming negative self-talk into self-compassion✨ Learning to trust your own voice instead of see...
2025-01-1416 minYou're Not Crazy: A Podcast for Cycle Breakers with Toxic ParentsOvercoming a Fear of Abandonment After Growing Up with a Borderline or Narcissistic ParentIf you grew up with a parent with borderline or narcissistic personality disorder, the fear of being abandoned by people you love might run deep. In this episode of You're Not Crazy, we unpack how toxic love from a parent impacts your relationships and self-worth as an adult — and, more importantly, how to break free from those patterns.We discuss:What conditional love from a BPD/NPD parent really looks like and how it contributes to a fear of abandonmentChoosing yourselfThe power of setting clear, firm boundaries (even when it feels impossible)Steps to develop self-acceptance an...
2025-01-0717 minYou're Not Crazy: A Podcast for Cycle Breakers with Toxic ParentsMy Last Minute Game Plan for Surviving the Holidays with a Dysfunctional FamilyIf you’re the adult child of a parent with borderline or narcissistic personality disorder, the holidays can feel more stressful than joyful. In this episode, I’m sharing practical, actionable strategies to help you navigate these tricky family dynamics while prioritizing your mental health. From setting boundaries to managing emotional triggers, we’ll cover everything you need to make it through the season with more peace and less drama.Here’s what you’ll learn:How to set realistic expectations for family interactions.The key to creating a holiday game plan that works for you.Emotional...
2024-12-2418 minYou're Not Crazy: A Podcast for Cycle Breakers with Toxic ParentsNavigating Holiday Family Dynamics: Setting Boundaries and Choosing YourselfIn this episode of You’re Not Crazy, I’m diving into the challenges of navigating family dynamics during the holiday season—especially when you’re dealing with parents who have narcissistic or borderline personality traits. I’ll share actionable strategies for conserving your emotional energy and prioritizing your peace and happiness.Together, we’ll reflect on past holiday interactions, plan for healthier gatherings, and embrace a mindset that prioritizes your well-being in the new year. Join me as we take steps to reclaim our peace and navigate the holidays with confidence!Also- if you want to...
2024-12-0219 min