Dustin Oliver - Podcast Details

Shows

2026-10-2219 min

boy meets therapy Did My Gay Property Manager Reject Me? | Therapist Q&GayNYC therapist and host of boy meets therapy podcast Dustin Oliver answers questions from viewers submitted via Instagram. This week, we talk about how to be nice to other gays, what happens if we live in the same apartment as someone we are trying to get over, and what happens when you want to be friends with a hot straight guy.Submit a question via email (⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠) or Instagram (@boymeetstherapy). *Note that these episodes are for entertainment purposes only. Answering a submitted question does not establish a therapist-client relationship. Connect with boy meets therapy:

2026-10-0117 min

boy meets therapy Did My Gay Property Manager Reject Me? | Therapist Q&GayNYC therapist and host of boy meets therapy podcast Dustin Oliver answers questions from viewers submitted via Instagram. This week, we talk about how to be nice to other gays, what happens if we live in the same apartment as someone we are trying to get over, and what happens when you want to be friends with a hot straight guy. Submit a question via email (⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠) or Instagram (@boymeetstherapy). *Note that these episodes are for entertainment purposes only. Answering a submitted question does not establish a therapist-client relationship. Connect with boy meets therapy:

boy meets therapy The Psychology of Gay AgingWhat does aging mean in a community that often feels organized around youth, desirability, and reinvention?In this episode, Dustin explores the psychology of aging in the gay community and why it can feel different for many gay men. From “twink death” jokes and body image pressure to loneliness, chosen family, delayed development, and the fear of running out of time, we unpack what may actually sit underneath anxiety about getting older.Dustin also explores research on minority stress, LGBTQ+ aging, body image, and resilience, while discussing why many gay men feel simultaneously younger and olde...

2026-06-0830 min

boy meets therapy The Psychology of Gay AgingWhat does aging mean in a community that often feels organized around youth, desirability, and reinvention? In this episode, Dustin explores the psychology of aging in the gay community and why it can feel different for many gay men. From “twink death” jokes and body image pressure to loneliness, chosen family, delayed development, and the fear of running out of time, we unpack what may actually sit underneath anxiety about getting older. Dustin also explores research on minority stress, LGBTQ+ aging, body image, and resilience, while discussing why many gay men feel simultaneously younger and olde...

2026-06-0830 min

boy meets therapy The Psychology of Gay Code-SwitchingWhat is code-switching, and how does it affect your mental health? In this solo episode, host Dustin explores the psychology of code-switching, the process of adjusting your behavior, personality, or identity depending on your environment. Using research from Minority Stress Theory and studies on identity and authenticity, we break down why people code-switch and how it can lead to stress, burnout, and a fragmented sense of self. We also discuss how code-switching shows up in LGBTQ spaces, including the pressure to perform masculinity and fit into social hierarchies within the gay community. If...

2026-05-0422 min

boy meets therapy The Psychology of Gay Code-SwitchingWhat is code-switching, and how does it affect your mental health?In this solo episode, host Dustin explores the psychology of code-switching, the process of adjusting your behavior, personality, or identity depending on your environment. Using research from Minority Stress Theory and studies on identity and authenticity, we break down why people code-switch and how it can lead to stress, burnout, and a fragmented sense of self.We also discuss how code-switching shows up in LGBTQ spaces, including the pressure to perform masculinity and fit into social hierarchies within the gay community.If...

2026-05-0422 min

boy meets therapy The War on Gay FemininityWhy is femininity often devalued among gay men and where do those preferences actually come from?In this episode, host Dustin breaks down the psychology of masculinity, femininity, and attraction using a clinical lens. Moving beyond surface-level “preference” debates, this conversation explores how gender expression, early social experiences, and cultural reinforcement shape what we’re drawn to and how we see ourselves.This episode is about understanding where our preferences come from and what they may be doing beneath the surface.*Research sources are posted to the boy meets therapy blog pageConn...

2026-04-2037 min

boy meets therapy The War on Gay FemininityWhy is femininity often devalued among gay men and where do those preferences actually come from? In this episode, host Dustin breaks down the psychology of masculinity, femininity, and attraction using a clinical lens. Moving beyond surface-level “preference” debates, this conversation explores how gender expression, early social experiences, and cultural reinforcement shape what we’re drawn to and how we see ourselves. This episode is about understanding where our preferences come from and what they may be doing beneath the surface. *Research sources are posted to the boy meets therapy blog page Con...

2026-04-2037 min

boy meets therapy Religious Trauma in the LGBTQ Community, Part 2: What It Feels LikeReligious trauma doesn’t always show up in obvious ways.In Part 2 of this series, host and therapist Dustin speaks on how we move beyond definitions and patterns and focus on what religious trauma actually feels like. These are the experiences that often go unnamed but shape how you think, relate, and move through the world.For many LGBTQ people, it’s not just what you believe, it’s how you experience yourself day to day. A constant sense of being slightly off. Monitoring yourself in conversations. Questioning your instincts. Feeling disconnected from your body. Or not...

2026-04-0624 min

boy meets therapy Religious Trauma in the LGBTQ Community, Part 2: What It Feels LikeReligious trauma doesn’t always show up in obvious ways. In Part 2 of this series, host and therapist Dustin speaks on how we move beyond definitions and patterns and focus on what religious trauma actually feels like. These are the experiences that often go unnamed but shape how you think, relate, and move through the world. For many LGBTQ people, it’s not just what you believe, it’s how you experience yourself day to day. A constant sense of being slightly off. Monitoring yourself in conversations. Questioning your instincts. Feeling disconnected from your body. Or not...

2026-04-0624 min

boy meets therapy Religious Trauma in the LGBTQ Community, Part 1: The Signs and Patterns You CarryReligious trauma doesn’t always end when you leave religion or come out. For many LGBTQ people, the patterns formed early on continue to shape how you think, feel, and relate to others.In Part 1 of this 3-part series, Dustin breaks down the hidden psychological patterns of religious trauma in the LGBTQ community. From chronic shame and hypervigilance to perfectionism, emotional disconnection, and feeling like you’re always “not enough,” this episode explores why these patterns develop and how they persist long after coming out.If you’ve ever felt like something is still off, even after...

2026-03-3039 min

boy meets therapy Religious Trauma in the LGBTQ Community, Part 1: The Signs and Patterns You CarryReligious trauma doesn’t always end when you leave religion or come out. For many LGBTQ people, the patterns formed early on continue to shape how you think, feel, and relate to others. In Part 1 of this 3-part series, Dustin breaks down the hidden psychological patterns of religious trauma in the LGBTQ community. From chronic shame and hypervigilance to perfectionism, emotional disconnection, and feeling like you’re always “not enough,” this episode explores why these patterns develop and how they persist long after coming out. If you’ve ever felt like something is still off, even after...

2026-03-3039 min

boy meets therapy Transgender Voice Training: Finding Vocal Euphoria with Nicole Gress of Undead VoiceIn this conversation, Dustin and Speech-Language Pathologist Nicole Gress discuss the intricate relationship between voice, identity, and the experiences of trans individuals. They explore the challenges of voice dysphoria, the journey of transitioning one's voice, and the importance of community support. Nicole shares insights from her work with Undead Voice, a platform dedicated to helping individuals find their vocal identity and experience "vocal euphoria." The discussion highlights the psychological impact of voice on mental health and the resources available for those seeking to align their voice with their identity.Connect with Nicole Gress:...

2026-03-2347 min

boy meets therapy Gay Men and The Second AdolescenceMany gay men reach adulthood feeling like life is just beginning while everyone else seems years ahead. Dating, identity exploration, sexuality, and community may all start later, creating the feeling that you're somehow “behind.” Psychologists sometimes describe this experience as a second adolescence. In this episode, Dustin explores the psychology behind why many gay men go through a second developmental stage after coming out. Drawing on research in LGBTQ identity development, minority stress, and belonging, he explains why this period can feel both exhilarating and chaotic. From intense friendships to unstable dating experiences and the pres...

2026-03-0937 min

boy meets therapy Gay Men and The Second AdolescenceMany gay men reach adulthood feeling like life is just beginning while everyone else seems years ahead. Dating, identity exploration, sexuality, and community may all start later, creating the feeling that you're somehow “behind.”Psychologists sometimes describe this experience as a second adolescence.In this episode, Dustin explores the psychology behind why many gay men go through a second developmental stage after coming out. Drawing on research in LGBTQ identity development, minority stress, and belonging, he explains why this period can feel both exhilarating and chaotic. From intense friendships to unstable dating experiences and the pres...

2026-03-0937 min

boy meets therapy Mean Gays: When Belonging Is ConditionalWhy do gay spaces sometimes feel cold, competitive, or quietly unkind?In this season three premiere and solo episode, host Dustin explores what people mean when they talk about “mean gays” and why unkindness can become normalized in gay social spaces. Rather than framing this as a character flaw or a community failure, this episode looks at the psychological and social forces that shape these interactions.Drawing from research on minority stress, shame, social comparison, and attachment, this episode examines how conditional belonging, appearance-based status, and fear of rejection can turn connection into competition. It also...

2026-02-0242 min

boy meets therapy Mean Gays: When Belonging Is ConditionalWhy do gay spaces sometimes feel cold, competitive, or quietly unkind? In this season three premiere and solo episode, host Dustin explores what people mean when they talk about “mean gays” and why unkindness can become normalized in gay social spaces. Rather than framing this as a character flaw or a community failure, this episode looks at the psychological and social forces that shape these interactions. Drawing from research on minority stress, shame, social comparison, and attachment, this episode examines how conditional belonging, appearance-based status, and fear of rejection can turn connection into competition. It also...

2026-02-0242 min

boy meets therapy Gay and Going Home: Navigating Family, the Holidays, and Your HometownGoing home for the holidays can bring up more than nostalgia for many gay people. It can activate old family roles, unspoken rules, emotional triggers, and versions of yourself you thought you outgrew.In this episode, Dustin explores why returning to your hometown can feel so emotionally complex. From family systems that never updated, to subtle invalidations, to the tension between who you are now and who you had to be growing up, this conversation breaks down what is actually happening beneath the surface.You’ll hear a psychological look at why going home can tr...

2025-12-1540 min

boy meets therapy Gay and Going Home: Navigating Family, the Holidays, and Your HometownGoing home for the holidays can bring up more than nostalgia for many gay people. It can activate old family roles, unspoken rules, emotional triggers, and versions of yourself you thought you outgrew. In this episode, Dustin explores why returning to your hometown can feel so emotionally complex. From family systems that never updated, to subtle invalidations, to the tension between who you are now and who you had to be growing up, this conversation breaks down what is actually happening beneath the surface. You’ll hear a psychological look at why going home can tr...

2025-12-1540 min

boy meets therapy The Psychology of Overthinking and What to Do About ItIn this episode, host Dustin breaks down why overthinking happens, what part of the brain drives it, and how attachment patterns, trauma histories, and emotional avoidance shape the habit. You will learn why your mind replays conversations, predicts worst case scenarios, and struggles with uncertainty even when nothing is actually wrong.This conversation blends clinical research on rumination, worry, and the default mode network with practical guidance for shifting the patterns that keep you stuck. You will hear tools for breaking mental loops, strengthening self trust, and identifying the emotions beneath your spirals so you can respond...

2025-12-0835 min

boy meets therapy The Psychology of Overthinking and What to Do About ItIn this episode, host Dustin breaks down why overthinking happens, what part of the brain drives it, and how attachment patterns, trauma histories, and emotional avoidance shape the habit. You will learn why your mind replays conversations, predicts worst case scenarios, and struggles with uncertainty even when nothing is actually wrong. This conversation blends clinical research on rumination, worry, and the default mode network with practical guidance for shifting the patterns that keep you stuck. You will hear tools for breaking mental loops, strengthening self trust, and identifying the emotions beneath your spirals so you can respond...

2025-12-0835 min

boy meets therapy The Struggle to Find or Sustain a Relationship, Part 2: How to Relate Differently (LGBTQ+ Edition)In Part 2 of this series on queer relationships, we explore how LGBTQ+ people can begin relating differently after years of dating in environments shaped by shame, scarcity, and minority stress. This episode focuses on practical skills for connection, including attachment awareness, emotional literacy, relational repair, communication about identity, and the role of community support. We look at how hyper-independence forms, why many queer adults feel behind in dating, and how to build trust, safety, and clarity in real time. This conversation offers guidance for creating healthier relationships and more grounded connection while honoring the unique experiences of...

2025-11-1749 min

boy meets therapy The Struggle to Find or Sustain a Relationship, Part 1: Why It Feels So Hard (LGBTQ+ Edition)Why does finding and keeping love feel so complicated for so many LGBTQ+ people? In this episode, we explore the emotional and cultural forces that shape queer dating, from minority stress and loneliness to shame, scarcity, and community pressures around desirability. This is not about blaming ourselves but about understanding the systems and experiences that shaped how we learned to love, protect ourselves, and connect. Part 1 sets the foundation for a deeper look at queer relationships and why love often feels harder than it should. Follow and rate us to see more boy meets therapy, it really...

2025-11-1042 min

boy meets therapy The Struggle to Find or Sustain a Relationship, Part 1: Why It Feels So Hard (LGBTQ+ Edition)Why does finding and keeping love feel so complicated for so many LGBTQ+ people? In this episode, we explore the emotional and cultural forces that shape queer dating, from minority stress and loneliness to shame, scarcity, and community pressures around desirability. This is not about blaming ourselves but about understanding the systems and experiences that shaped how we learned to love, protect ourselves, and connect. Part 1 sets the foundation for a deeper look at queer relationships and why love often feels harder than it should.Follow and rate us to see more boy meets therapy, it really...

2025-11-1042 min

boy meets therapy Intimate Partner Violence in LGBTQ+ Relationships: Power, Shame, and VulnerabilityIn this episode, host Dustin sits down with Eric Batchelder, LMSW to explore intimate partner and domestic violence within LGBTQ+ relationships. We unpack how power, shame, and cultural expectations shape the dynamics of harm and healing. The conversation examines many forms of spousal abuse, including emotional, financial, psychological, and physical, and how they can manifest in Queer relationships. We discuss the emotional and psychological complexities of queer relationships, the barriers survivors face, and what safety and recovery can look like through self-awareness and support.LGBT Power and Control Wheel: Click HereEquality Wheel: Click Here

2025-11-0350 min

boy meets therapy Intimate Partner Violence in LGBTQ+ Relationships: Power, Shame, and VulnerabilityIn this episode, host Dustin sits down with Eric Batchelder, LMSW to explore intimate partner and domestic violence within LGBTQ+ relationships. We unpack how power, shame, and cultural expectations shape the dynamics of harm and healing. The conversation examines many forms of spousal abuse, including emotional, financial, psychological, and physical, and how they can manifest in Queer relationships. We discuss the emotional and psychological complexities of queer relationships, the barriers survivors face, and what safety and recovery can look like through self-awareness and support. LGBT Power and Control Wheel: ⁠Click Here⁠ Equality Wheel: ⁠Click Here⁠ C...

2025-11-0350 min

boy meets therapy What Haunts Us: The Psychology of Fear (Halloween Special)Why do we love to be scared? In this Halloween special, Dustin explores the psychology of fear and what it reveals about us. From the thrill of horror movies to the mystery of possession, from the unease of the uncanny to the allure of cults, this episode unpacks how fear shapes our behavior, our beliefs, and our need for control. Drawing from neuroscience, psychology, and film, it examines why the things that terrify us are often the same things that fascinate us, and how fear can sometimes teach us what we value most.Connect with...

2025-10-2731 min

boy meets therapy boy meets therapy (official trailer)TRAILER for the boy meets therapy podcastHosted by Dustin Oliver, MA, boy meets therapy blends clinical research with real conversations about vulnerability, relationships, friendship, identity, and culture with an emphasis on the LGBTQ+ community. Episodes feature solo insights and in-depth interviews with licensed professionals who share both their expertise and their humanity. Perfect for queer listeners, allies, and mental health aficionados seeking affirming, research-informed discussions about therapy and life.

2025-10-2001 min

boy meets therapy Emotional Starvation: Why You Keep Accepting the Bare MinimumWhy do we keep accepting less than we need and calling it love?In this solo episode, host Dustin explores the psychology of emotional starvation: the pattern of confusing scarcity with care. Through the lenses of attachment theory, intermittent reinforcement, and trauma research, he unpacks how early experiences of inconsistent affection can shape what we tolerate in adulthood.Dustin explains why the nervous system learns to find comfort in unpredictability, how emotional neglect rewires our sense of worth, and what it takes to rebuild trust in consistent love.If you have ever wondered why...

2025-10-2036 min

boy meets therapy Emotional Starvation: Why You Keep Accepting the Bare MinimumWhy do we keep accepting less than we need and calling it love? In this solo episode, host Dustin explores the psychology of emotional starvation: the pattern of confusing scarcity with care. Through the lenses of attachment theory, intermittent reinforcement, and trauma research, he unpacks how early experiences of inconsistent affection can shape what we tolerate in adulthood. Dustin explains why the nervous system learns to find comfort in unpredictability, how emotional neglect rewires our sense of worth, and what it takes to rebuild trust in consistent love. If you have ever wondered...

2025-10-2036 min

boy meets therapy The Psychology of Wanting: From Conditioning to ChoiceWhy do so many of us struggle to know what we actually want? Why do we think we're doing something we like but it doesn't feel right?In this solo episode, host Dustin explores how our desires are shaped by early experiences, social expectations, and the need for safety. Drawing from Self Determination Theory, Object Relations and Attachment Theory, and Cass’s Queer Identity Formation model, this episode unpacks the psychology behind why our motivations can feel confusing and how to move from conditioned wanting to authentic choice.Dustin breaks down the difference between ex...

2025-10-1335 min

boy meets therapy The Psychology of Wanting: From Conditioning to ChoiceWhy do so many of us struggle to know what we actually want? Why do we think we're doing something we like but it doesn't feel right? In this solo episode, host Dustin explores how our desires are shaped by early experiences, social expectations, and the need for safety. Drawing from Self Determination Theory, Object Relations and Attachment Theory, and Cass’s Queer Identity Formation model, this episode unpacks the psychology behind why our motivations can feel confusing and how to move from conditioned wanting to authentic choice. Dustin breaks down the difference between external va...

2025-10-1335 min

boy meets therapy Kink: Notes From Clinical and Personal ExperiencesIn this episode, host Dustin sits down with UK therapist John Gillespie to explore the deep intersection between kink, sexuality, and mental health. Together they unpack how shame, desire, and identity shape our sexual experiences and what it means to find acceptance through therapy. John shares insights from both his clinical practice and personal experiences within kink communities, offering a rare and honest look at emotional intimacy, vulnerability, and liberation through understanding one’s desires.Listeners will learn how therapists can create affirming spaces for clients exploring kink, why shame and secrecy often intertwine with sexual identity, an...

2025-10-0645 min

boy meets therapy Kink: Notes From Clinical and Personal ExperiencesIn this episode, host Dustin sits down with UK therapist John Gillespie to explore the deep intersection between kink, sexuality, and mental health. Together they unpack how shame, desire, and identity shape our sexual experiences and what it means to find acceptance through therapy. John shares insights from both his clinical practice and personal experiences within kink communities, offering a rare and honest look at emotional intimacy, vulnerability, and liberation through understanding one’s desires. Listeners will learn how therapists can create affirming spaces for clients exploring kink, why shame and secrecy often intertwine with sexual identity, an...

2025-10-0645 min

boy meets therapy Queer Search for Meaning: Dating, Identity, and Defining PurposeIn this episode, host Dustin Oliver sits down with therapist Tyler Mafi to explore the queer search for meaning through the lens of existentialism. They unpack how identity, dating, and authenticity are shaped by societal expectations and how questioning those norms can open the door to deeper purpose and meaning-making. The conversation highlights why existentialism matters in everyday life, how queer identity and authenticity intersect, the pressures of dating and relationships, and what therapy can offer in navigating meaning and purpose. Whether you are curious about existential philosophy, reflecting on your love life, or searching for more...

2025-09-2954 min

boy meets therapy Gay Men and the Ideal Body: Rejection, Fat Phobia, and Body ImageIn this episode, host Dustin sits down with Sam Fogarty, LMHC, to explore the pressures gay men face when it comes to body image and the pursuit of the “ideal body.” Together, they unpack how rejection, fat phobia, and societal standards fuel shame and disordered eating within the LGBTQ+ community. Sam shares insights from his research on muscularity-oriented eating disorders and why intuitive eating can help create a healthier relationship with food and self-perception.Dustin and Sam emphasize the importance of self-compassion, breaking cycles of comparison, and building a more affirming perspective around body image.Whet...

2025-09-2253 min

boy meets therapy Gay Men and the Ideal Body: Rejection, Fat Phobia, and Body ImageIn this episode, host Dustin sits down with Sam Fogarty, LMHC, to explore the pressures gay men face when it comes to body image and the pursuit of the “ideal body.” Together, they unpack how rejection, fat phobia, and societal standards fuel shame and disordered eating within the LGBTQ+ community. Sam shares insights from his research on muscularity-oriented eating disorders and why intuitive eating can help create a healthier relationship with food and self-perception. Dustin and Sam emphasize the importance of self-compassion, breaking cycles of comparison, and building a more affirming perspective around body image. Whet...

2025-09-2253 min

boy meets therapy Queering Mental Health: Microaggressions, Diagnosis, and Culture with Dr. A. Jordan WrightIn this episode, we sit down with Dr. A. Jordan Wright, Director of the combined Counseling and Clinical Psychology PhD program at NYU and a leading voice in psychological testing and training future clinicians. Together, we explore how microaggressions, evolving diagnoses, and cultural competence shape queer mental health care today.Listeners will learn how subtle microaggressions affect therapy, why diagnoses like ADHD and autism are both social constructs and powerful tools, and how cultural competence helps clinicians provide truly inclusive treatment. Dr. Wright also shares his perspective on training the next generation of therapists, making assessments more...

2025-09-151h 00

boy meets therapy Queering Mental Health: Microaggressions, Diagnosis, and Culture with Dr. A. Jordan WrightIn this episode, we sit down with Dr. A. Jordan Wright, Director of the combined Counseling and Clinical Psychology PhD program at NYU and a leading voice in psychological testing and training future clinicians. Together, we explore how microaggressions, evolving diagnoses, and cultural competence shape queer mental health care today. Listeners will learn how subtle microaggressions affect therapy, why diagnoses like ADHD and autism are both social constructs and powerful tools, and how cultural competence helps clinicians provide truly inclusive treatment. Dr. Wright also shares his perspective on training the next generation of therapists, making assessments more...

2025-09-151h 00

boy meets therapy Gay Men and Substance Use: A ConversationThis episode explores how substance use shows up in the lives of gay and queer men through history, culture, and community. I explore the complex and often misunderstood relationship between gay men and substance use. Too often framed with stigma or silence, this topic deserves a conversation rooted in history, culture, and compassion. I’ll take you through the role bars played as safe havens, the impact of the AIDS crisis, and the emergence of chemsex and methamphetamine in gay culture. We’ll also look at how pleasure, coping, stigma, and intergenerational differences shape substance use...

2025-09-0833 min

boy meets therapy Queer Men and Dating: Self-Sabotage, Monogamy, and Building Authentic RelationshipsIn this episode of boy meets therapy, host Dustin Oliver sits down with dating coach Danny to explore the unique challenges queer men face in dating. From breaking cycles of self-sabotage to navigating monogamy vs. non-monogamy, they dive into how generational trauma and cultural history shape modern relationships.Connect with DannyInstagram: @thecoachdannymTikTok: @coachdannymoralesWebsite: www.thecoachdanny.comPodcast: THE DEEP PENETRATION PodcastConnect with boy meets therapy:Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com⁠⁠⁠Episode Guide & Chapters0:00 - 2:00 Introduction 2:01 - 5:30 Meet Danny: The Dating Coach 5:31 - 15:00 Understanding Se...

2025-09-0158 min

2025-09-0158 min

boy meets therapy Gay Men, the Vulnerability Deficit, and How We ReconnectWhy is it so hard for gay men to open up emotionally, especially with each other? In this solo episode, Dustin explores the vulnerability deficit that many gay men experience and how emotional suppression shows up in friendships, dating, and queer community life. Blending clinical research with real-life examples, this episode unpacks the psychological roots of emotional avoidance, the influence of masculinity and shame, and how curated social connection can mask deep disconnection. You'll hear about the common ways gay men protect themselves from being seen, why these patterns make sense in a world shaped...

2025-08-2541 min

boy meets therapy Why Gay Men Struggle to Make Friends and How to Fix ItWhy is it so hard for gay men to make close friends? In this episode, host Dustin explores the friendship crisis many queer men face and offers practical, research-backed strategies to build deeper, more meaningful connections. Learn the difference between romantic and friendship attraction, how emotional safety shapes queer friendships, and why vulnerability is key to connection. Dustin also shares actionable tips for overcoming defensiveness, initiating low-pressure social rituals, and building community beyond dating and hookup culture. Whether you’re feeling lonely, craving real friendships, or simply trying to understand why queer connection can feel so...

2025-08-0437 min

boy meets therapy Why Gay Men Struggle to Make Friends and How to Fix ItWhy is it so hard for gay men to make close friends? In this episode, host Dustin explores the friendship crisis many queer men face and offers practical, research-backed strategies to build deeper, more meaningful connections.Learn the difference between romantic and friendship attraction, how emotional safety shapes queer friendships, and why vulnerability is key to connection. Dustin also shares actionable tips for overcoming defensiveness, initiating low-pressure social rituals, and building community beyond dating and hookup culture.Whether you’re feeling lonely, craving real friendships, or simply trying to understand why queer connection can feel so...

2025-08-0437 min

boy meets therapy Overcoming Conversion Therapy: Dr. Luke Wilson on Shame, Faith, and Finding Self-AcceptanceIn this episode of boy meets therapy, Dr. Luke Wilson shares his firsthand experience with conversion therapy, from enrolling at Liberty University to facing the emotional and psychological toll of trying to change his identity. Dr. Wilson opens up about the deep shame, religious pressure, and inner conflict he experienced, and how he ultimately found healing and self-acceptance. This honest conversation explores the dangers of conversion practices, the intersection of faith and sexuality, and the resilience it takes to reclaim your truth. Whether you are a survivor, an ally, or seeking to understand, this episode offers insight, compassion, and...

2025-07-2854 min

boy meets therapy Healing Religious Trauma: Queer Identity, Deconstruction, and Inner Child Work with Liz RheaIn this episode of boy meets therapy, host Dustin Oliver is joined by therapist Liz Rhea for an honest and deeply moving conversation about religious trauma and queer identity. Together, they unpack how adverse religious experiences can shape self-worth, relationships, and mental health, particularly for LGBTQ+ individuals. Liz shares her clinical insights on the effects of sermons and church environments, while exploring the power of deconstruction, inner child work, and grief processing in healing. This episode offers both personal and therapeutic perspectives on what it means to navigate religious trauma and find safety, self-acceptance, and liberation in therapy.

2025-07-2139 min

boy meets therapy Adverse Childhood Experiences, Trauma, and the Power of Somatic Therapy in Healing with Natalie ReinaIn this powerful episode, Dustin Oliver sits down with therapist Natalie Reina to explore the deep and lasting effects of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) and the transformative power of somatic therapy in trauma recovery. Together, they unpack how childhood trauma shapes adult mental health, why recognizing patterns from abusive relationships is so difficult, and how grounding techniques and body-based therapies help clients reconnect with safety and self-awareness.Whether you're a mental health professional, trauma survivor, or simply curious about holistic approaches to healing, this conversation offers valuable insight into how integrating mind and body can lead to...

2025-07-1450 min

boy meets therapy Adverse Childhood Experiences, Trauma, and the Power of Somatic Therapy in Healing with Natalie ReinaIn this powerful episode, Dustin Oliver sits down with therapist Natalie Reina to explore the deep and lasting effects of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) and the transformative power of somatic therapy in trauma recovery. Together, they unpack how childhood trauma shapes adult mental health, why recognizing patterns from abusive relationships is so difficult, and how grounding techniques and body-based therapies help clients reconnect with safety and self-awareness. Whether you're a mental health professional, trauma survivor, or simply curious about holistic approaches to healing, this conversation offers valuable insight into how integrating mind and body can lead to...

2025-07-1450 min

boy meets therapy Inside Psychiatry: Dr. Joseph Elfar on Self-Disclosure, Meds & Mental Health in the Social Media EraIn this episode, host Dustin Oliver sits down with psychiatrist Dr. Joseph Elfar for a thought-provoking conversation on the evolving role of psychiatry in mental health care. Dr. Elfar opens up about his personal journey into psychiatry, the importance of self-disclosure in clinical work, and how social media is transforming mental health awareness.We dive deep into the realities of medication management, the influence of Big Pharma, and the cultural factors that impact psychiatric treatment. Dr. Elfar also shares insights on the value of validation and confrontation in therapy, the challenges new professionals face in the field...

2025-07-0752 min

boy meets therapy Inside Psychiatry: Dr. Joseph Elfar on Self-Disclosure, Meds & Mental Health in the Social Media EraIn this episode, host Dustin Oliver sits down with psychiatrist Dr. Joseph Elfar for a thought-provoking conversation on the evolving role of psychiatry in mental health care. Dr. Elfar opens up about his personal journey into psychiatry, the importance of self-disclosure in clinical work, and how social media is transforming mental health awareness. We dive deep into the realities of medication management, the influence of Big Pharma, and the cultural factors that impact psychiatric treatment. Dr. Elfar also shares insights on the value of validation and confrontation in therapy, the challenges new professionals face in the field...

2025-07-0752 min

boy meets therapy Fix Your Sleep: Therapist Tony Ho on Insomnia, Apnea, and What Really WorksStruggling to fall asleep or stay asleep? Wondering if melatonin, sleep hygiene, or therapy actually work? In this episode, sleep therapist Tony Ho joins us to unpack the most common sleep disorders, including insomnia and sleep apnea, and what you can do to finally get quality rest.Tony breaks down the science of sleep, the psychological blocks that keep people awake, and why trying to "control" sleep can backfire. We explore the effectiveness of cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia (CBT-I), the real deal with melatonin supplements, and how cultural beliefs about productivity and rest shape our sleep...

2025-06-3047 min

boy meets therapy Fix Your Sleep: Therapist Tony Ho on Insomnia, Apnea, and What Really WorksStruggling to fall asleep or stay asleep? Wondering if melatonin, sleep hygiene, or therapy actually work? In this episode, sleep therapist Tony Ho joins us to unpack the most common sleep disorders, including insomnia and sleep apnea, and what you can do to finally get quality rest. Tony breaks down the science of sleep, the psychological blocks that keep people awake, and why trying to "control" sleep can backfire. We explore the effectiveness of cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia (CBT-I), the real deal with melatonin supplements, and how cultural beliefs about productivity and rest shape our sleep...

2025-06-3047 min

boy meets therapy Disordered Eating, Diet Culture, and Therapy in the Digital Age with Lauren LarkinIn this episode, host Dustin sits down with therapist Lauren Larkin to unpack the complex relationship between disordered eating, diet culture, and mental health. Together, they explore how societal pressures, personal history, and media influence body image and eating behaviors, especially in the age of social media and virtual therapy. Lauren shares her journey from a career in media to becoming a clinician, offering insights into how her background shapes her approach to treating eating disorders. The conversation also touches on the challenges of remote therapy, the importance of curiosity in the healing process, and how therapists can create...

2025-06-2343 min

boy meets therapy Gay Men, Shame, and Healing Through Therapy with Brian SpitulnikIn this episode, therapist and former Broadway performer Brian Spitulnik joins Dustin to explore the intersections of shame, identity, and healing within the gay and broader queer community. Together, they unpack themes like internalized homophobia, social hierarchies among gay men, and the emotional toll of self-sabotage and rejection.Brian opens up about his personal transformation, from life on the stage to becoming a clinician, and how embracing authenticity and vulnerability changed his path. The conversation delves into how race, body image, and trauma show up in therapy spaces, as well as the unique challenges queer people face...

2025-06-1654 min

boy meets therapy Gay Men, Shame, and Healing Through Therapy with Brian SpitulnikIn this episode, therapist and former Broadway performer Brian Spitulnik joins Dustin to explore the intersections of shame, identity, and healing within the gay and broader queer community. Together, they unpack themes like internalized homophobia, social hierarchies among gay men, and the emotional toll of self-sabotage and rejection. Brian opens up about his personal transformation, from life on the stage to becoming a clinician, and how embracing authenticity and vulnerability changed his path. The conversation delves into how race, body image, and trauma show up in therapy spaces, as well as the unique challenges queer people face...

2025-06-1654 min

boy meets therapy Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder: DBT, Trauma, and Substance Use Recovery with Karley ChicknessIn this episode, Dustin Oliver sits down with Karley, a therapist who specializes in treating Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and co-occurring substance use disorders. Together, they explore the complex relationship between emotional dysregulation, trauma, and addiction, highlighting how Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) offers hope and structure for individuals navigating these challenges.Karley shares her journey into the counseling field, the realities of working with high-acuity clients, and the importance of compassion and boundaries in clinical work. This conversation offers valuable insights for therapists, students, and anyone curious about the inner world of BPD, the path to recovery...

2025-06-0952 min

boy meets therapy Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder: DBT, Trauma, and Substance Use Recovery with Karley ChicknessIn this episode, Dustin Oliver sits down with Karley, a therapist who specializes in treating Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and co-occurring substance use disorders. Together, they explore the complex relationship between emotional dysregulation, trauma, and addiction, highlighting how Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) offers hope and structure for individuals navigating these challenges. Karley shares her journey into the counseling field, the realities of working with high-acuity clients, and the importance of compassion and boundaries in clinical work. This conversation offers valuable insights for therapists, students, and anyone curious about the inner world of BPD, the path to recovery...

2025-06-0952 min

boy meets therapy Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder and DBT: Insights from Therapist Sara WeandIn this conversation, Dustin Oliver and Sara discuss the intricacies of dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT), anxiety management, and borderline personality disorder (BPD). Sara shares her personal journey into therapy, the challenges and rewards of working with individuals with BPD, and the importance of understanding emotional regulation. They explore the techniques used in DBT, including distress tolerance and mindfulness, and emphasize the need for compassion and acceptance in therapeutic relationships. The discussion also highlights the misconceptions surrounding BPD and offers advice for friends and family members of those affected.Connect with Sara Weand:

2025-06-0248 min

boy meets therapy Redefining Sex: Performance Anxiety, Kinks, and the Truth About Intimacy with Dr. Eric Van Der VoortIn this eye-opening conversation, host Dustin Oliver speaks with Dr. Eric Van Der Voort, a licensed psychologist and certified sex therapist, about the many misconceptions and complexities surrounding human sexuality. They explore how performance anxiety can disrupt intimacy, the importance of open communication in sexual relationships, and the ways societal norms shape, and often distort, our expectations around sex. Dr. Van Der Voort offers a non-pathologizing approach to sexual behavior, distinguishing between sexual behaviors and addiction while encouraging a more compassionate understanding of kinks, fantasies, and the obsession with orgasm. He emphasizes the need to challenge internalized...

2025-05-261h 05

boy meets therapy Understanding Your Inner Parts: IFS Therapy, Trauma, and Self-Energy with Ryan AustinIn this episode, hosts Dustin Oliver and Ryan Austin, a licensed professional counselor, dive deep into the world of Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy. Together, they explore how IFS helps individuals understand their inner parts, navigate emotional trauma, and reconnect with their core Self-energy for lasting healing.Ryan shares insights from his clinical work, including his experience with accountability courts, and discusses how childhood patterns, coping mechanisms, and numbing behaviors like addiction impact adult relationships and mental health.The conversation also touches on the privilege of setting boundaries, cultural views of therapy, and the critical...

2025-05-191h 05

boy meets therapy Understanding Your Inner Parts: IFS Therapy, Trauma, and Self-Energy with Ryan AustinIn this episode, hosts Dustin Oliver and Ryan Austin, a licensed professional counselor, dive deep into the world of Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy. Together, they explore how IFS helps individuals understand their inner parts, navigate emotional trauma, and reconnect with their core Self-energy for lasting healing. Ryan shares insights from his clinical work, including his experience with accountability courts, and discusses how childhood patterns, coping mechanisms, and numbing behaviors like addiction impact adult relationships and mental health. The conversation also touches on the privilege of setting boundaries, cultural views of therapy, and the critical...

2025-05-191h 05

boy meets therapy Navigating Graduate School in Counseling: Faith, Internships, and Choosing a Master’s or a PhD with Bailey McFaddenIn this episode, Dustin Oliver sits down with counseling graduate student Bailey McFadden to talk about the real-life journey through psychology education, from undergrad to grad school and beyond. They discuss why they both chose to pursue master’s degrees over PhDs, how to evaluate faith-integrated counseling programs, and what it’s really like working in internship settings. Bailey shares her experiences navigating clinical training, community support, and the pressure to “do it all” in grad school. Whether you're exploring mental health careers, considering a graduate degree, or already deep in your training, this candid conversation offers insight, encouragement, and prac...

2025-05-1247 min

boy meets therapy Navigating Graduate School in Counseling: Faith, Internships, and Choosing a Master’s or a PhD with Bailey McfaddenIn this episode, Dustin Oliver sits down with counseling graduate student Bailey McFadden to talk about the real-life journey through psychology education—from undergrad to grad school and beyond. They discuss why they both chose to pursue master’s degrees over PhDs, how to evaluate faith-integrated counseling programs, and what it’s really like working in internship settings. Bailey shares her experiences navigating clinical training, community support, and the pressure to “do it all” in grad school. Whether you're exploring mental health careers, considering a graduate degree, or already deep in your training, this candid conversation offers insight, encouragement, and practi...

2025-05-1247 min

boy meets therapy Understanding Kids: OCD, Divorce, and Culturally Informed Therapy with Chandler DonnyIn this episode, host Dustin Oliver sits down with child and adolescent therapist Chandler Donny to explore the unique challenges and breakthroughs in therapy with young clients. They dive into topics like OCD in children, the emotional impact of divorce, and how to build trust with resistant or withdrawn kids. Chandler shares clinical insights on the importance of confidentiality, psychoeducation, and engaging parents in the therapeutic process. The conversation also touches on Relational Cultural Theory, LGBTQ-affirming care, and the role of cultural understanding in effective mental health treatment. Whether you're a therapist, parent, or mental health professional, this episode...

2025-05-0550 min

boy meets therapy Healing Beyond the Surface: Trauma, Attachment, and Anti-Oppressive Therapy with Sakinaa RockThis episode focuses on trauma-informed therapy and working with survivors of abuse. We explore how to build trust, address denial, and apply attachment theory in clinical practice. The conversation also highlights the role of supervision, therapeutic alliances, and navigating power dynamics. Special attention is given to supporting trans and gender non-conforming clients through anti-oppressive, empathetic, and empowering approaches.Connect with Sakinaa Rock: Sakinaa Rock TherapyConnect with boy meets therapy:Instagram: ⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠TikTok: @boymeetstherapyWebsite with Free Resources: boymeetstherapy.comCreated and Produced by Dustin Olive

2025-04-1856 min

boy meets therapy Healing Beyond the Surface: Trauma, Attachment, and Anti-Oppressive Therapy with Sakinaa RockThis episode focuses on trauma-informed therapy and working with survivors of abuse. We explore how to build trust, address denial, and apply attachment theory in clinical practice. The conversation also highlights the role of supervision, therapeutic alliances, and navigating power dynamics. Special attention is given to supporting trans and gender non-conforming clients through anti-oppressive, empathetic, and empowering approaches. Each week we talk with clinicians about their areas of expertise, their connections to therapy, and how they use their tools in session. Connect with Sakinaa Rock: Sakinaa Rock Therapy Connect with boy m...

2025-04-1856 min