Shows
IntegratedThe Most Common Sex Problem Couples FaceEllen and Jayson talk about the most common sex problems couples face. How can sex become a crutch or start to feel transactional? What role do our sexual histories play? And how can couples bring up sex issues without causing shutdown or shame?Timestamps:0:27 - The most common sex problem4:11 - The lazy guy thought process6:58 - The woman’s perspective10:56 - Sexual histories13:54 - Don’t let sex become transactional17:08 - Sex as a crutch19:41 - Communicating about sex31:17 - How to bring up sex in a relationshipLinks:Ellen's Instagram...2025-07-2435 minIntegratedHow to Overcome Communication Blocks & FrustrationsWhat’s the most powerful lever you can pull to help you and your partner break free from communication loops and recurring frustrations? In this episode, Ellen and Jayson share practical tips and demonstrate both helpful and unhelpful ways to express and receive emotions.How did your parents respond to your emotions, and how does that shape the way you respond to others today? What is emotional glue and why is it so important in relationships?If you’re looking to become a better partner, you’ll find this episode insightful and valuable.Timest...2025-07-1738 minIntegratedHow to Move Through an Argument SuccessfullyDo you want to learn how to move through arguments with your partner quickly, effectively, and efficiently? This episode is for you. Jayson and Ellen talk about conflict and how to resolve it. What should you do when you find yourself in an argument? What is the talking path? What is the listening path? Why is it important to deal with one conflict at a time? Don’t miss this insightful episode.Timestamps:1:22 - How to move through an argument quickly4:25 - What to do when you find yourself in an argument9:11 - The talking path...2025-07-1033 minIntegratedThe Comfortable Marriage vs the Thriving MarriageWhat’s wrong with having a comfortable marriage? Ellen and Jayson take a closer look. Have you stopped being curious about your partner? Are you creating future problems by avoiding discomfort today? Tune in to learn how to build resilience and transform a comfortable marriage into a thriving one.Timestamps:1:35 - What is a comfortable marriage?2:56 - The problem with comfortable marriages12:04 - Losing curiosity14:20 - The thriving marriage18:02 - Discomfort as a part of growth21:24 - Building resilience24:00 - CommunityLinks:Ellen's InstagramJayson's InstagramIf you find this show valuable, please follow the show on Spotify, give us a rating and tell your friends and family ab2025-07-0331 minIntegratedTalking About Fairness Without Starting a FightJayson and Ellen explore the concept of fairness in primary relationships. What can you do when one or both partners feel the status quo is unfair? How do you prevent resentment from building up over time? It’s time to be intentional about your communication and to truly consider your partner’s needs. Stay tuned until the end to hear Jayson share the one question you should always ask yourself.Timestamps:1:22 - Fairness in your primary relationship10:55 - Solutions to unfairness14:25 - Write this question down!18:10 - Considering your partner’s needs25:03 - Don’t let resentme...2025-06-2629 minIntegratedWhen Talking About Our Relationship Makes It WorseCan talking about your problems or attending coaching or therapy make things worse? Ellen and Jayson break it down. Addressing an injury can be painful, and learning to accept temporary discomfort is often vital for growth. So what’s going wrong when talking actually makes things worse? Are your problems stemming from practitioner error? Stay tuned until the end to hear Jayson’s important reminder.Timestamps:2:04 - What going wrong with talking makes things worse?4:28 - Practitioner error7:40 - How talking about it can make it worse13:27 - Addressing an injury can be painful22:08 - Accepting temp...2025-06-1932 minIntegratedDual Entrepreneurs & Copreneurs: Facing Unique ChallengesIn this episode, Ellen and Jayson discuss two types of couples: dual entrepreneurial couples and copreneurs. Both types of couples face unique challenges, and Ellen and Jayson offer practical tips for each. How can you build resilience into your relationship so you can handle life’s storms when they come? Are you being curious enough about your partner? It’s time to choose the type of partnership you want today.Timestamps:2:00 - What is the duel entrepreneurial couple7:11 - Resilience problems11:26 - Tip: choose the type of partnership you want12:27 - Getting prepared for life’s storms...2025-06-1238 minIntegratedNavigating the Solo Entrepreneur and Supportive Spouse DynamicEllen and Jayson discuss type 1 (of 3) of the entrepreneurial couples and the unique challenges of being a partnered solo entrepreneur. What are the consequences of leaving traditional roles unexamined and how does gender play a role? How can you be intentional about collaborating with your partner? Why are primary relationships so difficult? What’s the downside of too much compartmentalization? Stick around until the end of the episode for practical tips on running a business without sacrificing your relationship—or missing out on your kids growing up.Timestamps:1:57 - Jayson’s journey with caffeine and alcohol4:03 - Chal...2025-06-0549 minIntegratedWhy Understanding Attachment Is a Game Changer for Couples, Part 2 - Attachment StylesDo you want a more securely attached relationship?Ellen and Jayson dive into the topics of attachment and repair. How can you rebuild security after a fight? Why is it so important to plan for relationship repair? Tune in to this episode to learn how to foster a more securely attached relationship while facing the challenges of parenting and running a business.Timestamps:3:05 - Attachment terminology21:13 - Why blaming your partner is unhelpful27:41 - Building security after a fight30:37 - Planning to repair32:48 - Prioritizing repair40:36 - What if you don't have time?2025-05-2947 minIntegratedWhy Understanding Attachment Is a Game Changer for Couples, Part 1Could your communication woes stem from attachment issues? Ellen and Jayson explore how attachment styles might be impacting your relationship, especially as an entrepreneurial couple. What’s your attachment orientation? What does secure attachment actually look like? And can you build security through repair? Stick around till the end of the episode for Ellen’s practical tip on taking concrete steps toward creating a more securely attached relationship.Timestamps:4:45 - Communication problem or attachment issue?13:36 - What’s your attachment orientation?18:56 - What does secure attachment look like?26:34 - Building security through repair?41:47 - Elle...2025-05-2244 minIntegratedThe 3 Types of Entrepreneurial CouplesJayson and Ellen draw on their personal and professional experiences to discuss three types of entrepreneurial couples and the unique challenges each faces when it comes to business and maintaining relationships at home. Whether you're the sole entrepreneur in your household, a spouse supporting your partner’s business journey, a couple running a business together, or a couple simultaneously running separate businesses, you won’t want to miss this insightful episode.Timestamps:4:00 - Solo entrepreneurs with a supportive spouse14:55 - The duel entrepreneurial couple22:00 - Co-entrepreneursLinks:Ellen's Instagra...2025-05-1533 minIntegratedDivide and Conquer or Collaborate? Rethinking Partnership at HomeEllen and Jayson discuss two different approaches to partnership in the home. What are the pros and cons of taking a divide-and-conquer approach? Can collaboration be a better option? What are the benefits and drawbacks of collaboration? And why is it important to embrace diversity in the household? Stay tuned until the end to hear Ellen’s rule of thumb.Timestamps:4:53 - The benefits of divide and conquer7:36 - Drawbacks to divide and conquer18:17 - Drawbacks to collaboration25:00 - Benefits of collaboration30:34 - Embracing diversity in the home40:00 - Ellen's rule of thumb an...2025-05-0843 minIntegratedThe Tension Between Work and HomeEntrepreneurs face unique challenges when it comes to navigating the tension between work and home. In this episode, Ellen and Jayson discuss conflicts around gender roles, balancing work and family, and the importance of being intentional about maintaining relationships—even with a busy schedule. It’s time to start having productive conversations and finding the right balance between work and home.Timestamps:2:44 The tension between work and home6:00 Conflict around gender roles9:36 Balancing work and family18:20 Start getting curious26:00 Starting a productive conversation34:00 Being intentional about maintaining your relationshipsLinks:The...2025-05-0137 minIntegratedWhy Being a Team Is So HardJayson and Ellen talk about five reasons why being a team is so hard. How do culture and personal history impact teamwork? Is your sense of entitlement holding you back from effective collaboration? How can differences between people make for a stronger team? Find the answers to these questions and more in this episode!Timestamps:1:00 - 5 reasons why being a team is so hard1:47 - Cultural backdrop7:00 - Personal history11:49 - Your entitlement16:56 - Differences20:41 - Sharing leadership takes timeFollow Jayson and Ellen here:Ellen's InstagramJayson's InstagramIf you find this show va...2025-04-2427 minIntegratedThe Essential Framework for Sharing LeadershipIn this episode, Ellen and Jayson dive into the powerful concept of shared leadership in relationships.What does it really mean to lead together? How can you honor your own needs while supporting your partner’s? What is “standing for three,” and why is it a game-changer for long-term connection?They also explore what it takes to keep your relationship from feeling like a chore—and how to breathe life back into your connection when it starts to feel heavy.Tune in for practical insights, real talk, and tools you can use to grow str...2025-04-1741 minIntegratedWelcome to Integrated: The Podcast for Entrepreneurial CouplesWelcome to the first episode of Integrated, a podcast for entrepreneurial couples by Jayson Gaddis and Ellen Boeder. If you want to build a high-impact career while maintaining an exceptional partnership, this show is for you! In this inaugural episode, Jayson and Ellen discuss how their personal and professional experiences have fueled their passion for relationships in the context of entrepreneurship. This is just the beginning, so stay tuned!Timestamps:0:55 - Jayson's background5:45 - Ellen's background12:00 - What Integrated is all aboutFollow Jayson and Ellen here:Ellen's In...2025-04-1019 min
The Art of We114. Power, Attachment & Secure Functioning with Ellen BoederRelationship therapist and couples coach Ellen Boeder joins us to explore the intersection of attachment, power dynamics, and secure functioning in partnerships. We discuss how power imbalances can emerge in relationships, the difference between secure and insecure functioning, and how couples can cultivate true mutuality. “The Art Of We” podcast with Krista Van Derveer and Dr. Will Van Derveer(00:00) Why secure functioning matters in relationships(03:26) What defines secure vs. insecure relationships? (06:22) How power struggles emerge in insecure relationships(09:37) Three key factors that shape relationship dynamics(13...2025-02-1340 min
Relationship Coaching School PodcastTeens, Screens, and Mental Health - Jayson Gaddis & Ellen Boeder - 507Jayson and Ellen delve into the complex relationship between teens, screens, and mental health. Is it okay to use screens to help kids calm down? Are teens becoming more anxious? At what age should children have their own cell phones? What societal changes are needed to protect the mental health and well-being of children and teens? How can you effectively implement boundaries at home? Tune in to find the answers to these and many more questions. Timestamps: 2:35 - Why screen time matters 5:50 - The Anxious Generation 9:00 - Using screens to help kids calm down 17:00...2024-07-0947 min
Relationship Coaching School PodcastAdvice for Anxious Fathers & Their Wives - Jayson Gaddis & Ellen Boeder - 504Jayson and Ellen offer advice for anxious new dads. Why do many new dads struggle to enjoy parenting? What happens when men become aware of their relational needs for the first time, and how should they approach meeting those needs? Should new dads consider therapy? What kind of support should new dads seek from their male friends? What about sex? If you're a new parent or know new parents, you won't want to miss this. Timestamps: 1:23 - When men struggle to enjoy parenting 14:57 - Men becoming conscious of their relational needs 24:42 - Support from other men 29:33...2024-06-1839 min
Relationship Coaching School PodcastHelping Teen Girls Thrive - Johannah Reimer - 501Ellen Boeder interviews Johannah Reimer to find out how women can help teen girls. They discuss the unique problems that teen girls face today, the evolutionary mismatch between the environments we evolved in and modern life, the importance of doing hard things and Johannah’s Girls Group Facilitator Training, “Pathways to Womanhood”which is about guiding and supporting girls on their journey to womanhood. Johannah is a soulcentric educator, ceremonialist, teen mentor, and an artist of many trades. Trained as a Waldorf teacher, Johannah has been working with children of all ages for over 20 years and holds a part...2024-05-2849 min
Relationship Coaching School PodcastAdvice for Couples, Therapists and Coaches - Jayson Gaddis & Ellen Boeder - 497Are you attending couples therapy but feeling like you're not making progress? Jayson and Ellen delve into why couples often find themselves spinning their wheels and offer insights on how to propel your relationship forward if you're feeling stuck. They also tackle the issue of spiritual bypassing, emphasizing that true letting go is a gradual process. Timestamps: 2:01 - Couples not making progress 7:36 - Doing the work 22:28 - Overly spiritual couples Links: The End The Struggle With Him Roadmap & Monthly Group Coaching Membership U.S. listeners, sign up for relationship tips...2024-04-3038 min
Relationship Coaching School PodcastConflict, Communication, Fixing, Problem Solving - Jayson Gaddis & Ellen Boeder - 491Jayson and Ellen discuss conflict, communication, and problem-solving versus understanding. What's the issue with being a conflict-avoidant couple? When is it appropriate to problem-solve and offer advice to a long-term partner? Can excessive understanding become problematic? Tune in to hear Ellen and Jayson offer a few simple strategies that you can use to resolve your communication issues. Timestamps: 1:51 - Avoiding Conflict 11:21 - Solving communication problems 17:04 - Problem solving vs understanding 20:28 - The conflict-repair cycle 22:31 - Taking action vs understanding Links: Enroll in Relationship Mastery Follow Jayson on social media: Instagram YouTube LinkedIn TikTok 2024-03-1929 min
Relationship Coaching School PodcastThe Trap of Falling in Love - Jayson Gaddis & Ellen Boeder - 488Is it possible to truly love someone while you’re still infatuated with them? In this episode, Jayson and Ellen talk about the trap of falling in love and why it’s important to learn to live with the reality of who your partner actually is instead of projecting your fantasies onto them. How can you make your partner your priority every day? What should your relationship boundaries be? It’s time to take a deep dive into the world of love after infatuation. Timestamps: 2:16 - Infatuation vs. love 6:16 - Reality vs. fantasy 20:00 - Accepting people for wh...2024-02-2737 min
This Is (Not) About Your BodyThis Is Not About Your Body | The Key to Successful Partnerships w/ Jayson Gaddis | S3E3Welcome to This Is Not About Your Body! Today I'm sitting down with Jayson Gaddis, who is a relationship coach, keynote speaker, dad, founder of the Relationship School and co-host of the Relationships School podcast with his wife, Ellen Boeder, and author of the book "Getting to Zero: How to Work Through Conflicts in Your High Stakes Relationships". I'm excited to share our conversation and Jayson's thoughts on partnerships/relationships!Find more from Jayson on his website, social media, and podcast: https://relationshipschool.com/ https://www.instagram.com/jaysongaddis/ ...2024-02-2047 min
Relationship Coaching School PodcastWorking With Men in Coaching and Therapy - Jayson Gaddis & Ellen Boeder - 484Jayson and Ellen team up to talk about working with men in coaching and therapy. How can you tell when a man is ready to grow? How does couples' work help men? What are the advantages of attending a men’s group? Are men more comfortable with male or female therapists? If you’re a man or you have men in your life, you won’t want to miss this insightful conversation. Timestamps: 6:16 - Ways that men get stuck 10:52 - Working through men's defensiveness 13:56 - Recognizing men's issues 17:27 - How male clients project 21:10 - Are men more c...2024-01-3040 min
Relationship Coaching School PodcastWhat’s Wrong With Wanting a Healthy Relationship? - Jayson Gaddis & Ellen Boeder - 482What’s wrong with wanting a healthy relationship? Jayson and Ellen are here to break it down. "Healthy" is a poorly defined concept, which can create nebulous expectations that are impossible to live up to. If you’ve written yourself off because you believe you’re incapable of having healthy relationships, it’s time to level up and start focusing on how you can foster growth-oriented relationships going forward. Tune in to learn how you can set realistic expectations and define the relationship experience that you want. It’s time to plan for reality and aspire for greatness. Timesta...2024-01-1621 minThe Art of We64. Getting Real With Jayson Gaddis + Ellen BoederIn episode 64 of "The Art of We" podcast, hosts Dr. Will Van Derveer and Krista Van Derveer explore the intricate dynamics of conscious adult partnership with their dear friends and relationship experts Jayson Gaddis and Ellen Boeder. This deeply personal episode is a dialogue about viewing relationships as a growth path and the nuanced complexities of practicing secure functioning together.The discussion highlights the balance of individual needs within family dynamics, particularly the prioritization of partnership in the midst of parenting challenges. You’ll hear personal experiences and strategies in maintaining a healthy relationship and effective collaboration, bo...2024-01-1147 min
Relationship Coaching School PodcastHow Menopause Changes You and Your Relationships - Jayson Gaddis & Ellen Boeder - 481Ellen joins Jayson to discuss menopause and its impact on relationships. What is menopause? Do women in non-western cultures experience menopause differently than women in western cultures? What happens to women’s hormones during menopause? What about hormone replacement therapy? Tune in to hear Jayson and Ellen share their personal experiences surrounding menopause and learn how you can nurture your relationships through the menopausal journey. Timestamps: 3:34 - What is menopause? 7:02 - How does menopause impact relationships? 13:53 - How does culture impact the experience of menopause? 16:50 - Why are resources for menopause scarce? 19:01 - What happens to wo...2024-01-0946 min
Relationship Coaching School PodcastChallenging Sensitive Kids - Jayson Gaddis & Ellen Boeder - 480Jayson and Ellen share valuable insights about nurturing antifragile confidence in sensitive children and offer practical tips for creating a supportive environment that encourages resilience and emotional well-being. Gain a deeper understanding of what defines a sensitive child. Discover practical strategies and compassionate approaches for navigating moments when your sensitive child is hesitant or resistant, and learn how to find the balance between challenging your child and respecting their emotions. Whether you're a parent, caregiver, or simply interested in understanding the dynamics of parenting sensitive children, this episode offers a wealth of wisdom. Tune in for a...2024-01-0237 min
Relationship Coaching School PodcastCommon Misconceptions About Secure Attachment - Jayson Gaddis & Ellen Boeder - 478Everyone wants to be in a securely attached relationship, but what does secure attachment really look like? In this episode, Jayson and Ellen talk about secure attachment and address some common misconceptions. How can you know the difference between infatuation and secure attachment? How long does it take to develop secure attachment in a romantic relationship? How do securely attached relationships differ between different couples? Tune in to learn how you can create and maintain long-lasting and meaningful partnerships. Timestamps: 2:00 - Secure attachment vs. infatuation 5:21 - How long does it take to know if you’re se...2023-12-1926 min
Relationship Coaching School PodcastDecoding the Meaning of 'Doing the Work' - Jayson Gaddis & Ellen Boeder - 475If you’re in the personal development space, chances are you’ve heard the term 'doing the work' thrown around often, but what does it really mean? Is there a right way to do the work? How can you gauge whether your personal development work is really having an impact? Jayson and Ellen share their insights about what it means to 'do the work' and touch on topics from intimate relationships and family to psychedelics and yoga along the way. Timestamps: 5:14 - What does "doing the work" look like? 8:17 - The litmus test for perso...2023-11-2827 min
Relationship Coaching School PodcastEntrepreneurs, Their Relationships, and What Fuels Them - Jayson Gaddis & Ellen Boeder - 471Jayson and Ellen talk entrepreneurship. What inspired Jayson to create The Relationship School? What is it like to be in a relationship with an entrepreneur? What drives entrepreneurs? Can you be addicted to stress? Are you afraid that you’ll lose your motivation if you do the inner work and deal with your issues? Listen to discover how both your relationships and your business can benefit when you stop letting stress and inadequacy drive you. Timestamps: 2:59 - What is an entrepreneur? 4:48 - Why do people want to coach entrepreneurs? 8:05 - How do entrepreneurs fuel their work? 19:49...2023-10-3145 min
Relationship Coaching School PodcastAgreeing to a Mediocre Relationship - Jayson Gaddis & Ellen Boeder - 468Why do people get complacent in long-term relationships? Jayson and Ellen discuss a situation where a couple mutually decided to put their marriage on the back burner to avoid conflict. What are the drawbacks of using complacency as a coping mechanism? Is ignoring your relational needs in order to avoid conflict a sustainable long-term strategy? Tune in to learn how to break out of the complacency trap and get real with your partner today. Timestamps: 2:22 - Using complacency to avoid conflict 5:30 - Is being complacent okay if it reduces conflict? 7:29 - The drawbacks of complacency as...2023-10-1028 min
Life Coaching with Christine HasslerCC: Overcoming Mom Guilt and Creating Secure Attachment This is a conversation I loved having because it is SO relevant for me right now as a new mom. We cover mom guilt, parenting shaming, attachment theory, forgiving ourselves orver what what we "should have done" and SO much more. My guest, Ellen Boeder, MA, LPC has been a licensed psychotherapist since 2003. After getting married and becoming a mother to two children (now 12 and 14 years old), Ellen began to focus primarily on couples in her private psychotherapy and coaching practice. Ellen is now a certified practitioner of PACT (Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy)., Ellen enjoys teaching and cons...2023-09-301h 24
Relationship Coaching School PodcastThe Misattuned Camper & Not Getting The Impact of Our Behavior on Others - Jayson Gaddis & Ellen Boeder - 465Explore the wilderness of Colorado with Jayson and Ellen in this upcoming episode. Their backpacking adventure takes an unexpected turn which leads to thought-provoking insights about human interactions, relationships, and the delicate balance between self-expression and consideration for others. Tune in to this discussion that will inspire you to reflect on your own interactions and the impact of your actions on those around you. Timestamps: 4:04 - The story of the misattuned camper 11:38 - How our behavior impacts others 17:32 - Why our relationship to others matters 20:34 - Standing for three 21:48 - Keeping each other in mind ...2023-09-1924 min
Relationship Coaching School PodcastThoughts About Your Human Journey - Jayson Gaddis & Ellen Boeder - 463Join Jayson and Ellen as they discuss insights from a transformative two-day retreat. From conflict management to embracing the unknown, they uncover using relationships as a path to self-discovery. Tune in for an authentic journey of growth that reshapes your view on human connections. Timestamps: 2:28 - What happens on a two day retreat with Jayson? 9:53 - Accepting challenges as learning experiences 13:20 - Don't lose your relationship to yourself 16:31 - What does Buddhism have to say about ending the cycle of suffering? 21:06 - What is The Path? 23:37 - What makes relationships a good development path? 26:11 - How...2023-09-0531 min
Relationship Coaching School PodcastVictim Consciousness and What to Do About It - Jayson Gaddis & Ellen Boeder - 459Are you ready to break free from the chains of victimhood and embrace empowerment? Join Jayson and Ellen in this episode as they dive deep into the complexities of fault versus responsibility. They also discuss the struggle between victimhood and authorship. Explore empowering perspectives, real-life stories, and learn how to transform challenges into personal growth opportunities. You won't want to miss this as they challenge the norms compassionately, fostering self-reflection and self-discovery without blame. Find out what got Ellen saying "Honey, We Should Have Talked Before You Posted.” Timestamps: 0:53 - Fault vs. responsibility 3:25 - Context 7:00 - Wh...2023-08-081h 04
Relationship Coaching School PodcastAMA- Mixed Messages, Love Addiction vs Being in Love, Being Told It’s Your Fault, Financial Conversations - Jayson Gaddis & Ellen Boeder - 457Join Jayson and Ellen’s in-depth chat as they talk through listeners' questions in this Ask me Anything episode. Betty asks about a tough financial situation, Jean is looking for tips on how to break the toxic cycle of always being told it's your fault by their partner, Christy is struggling to differentiate between love addiction and being in love, and Alyssia is looking for advice on how to handle mixed messages. Tune in as they offer guidance on creating a strong foundation based on mutual respect to build healthy and fulfilling relationships. Timestamps: 1:12 - Financial co...2023-07-2536 min
Relationship Coaching School PodcastHow to Speak Up If You Are Unhappy With A Partner, Family, & Coworkers - Jayson Gaddis & Ellen Boeder - 455Why do people hesitate to speak up in relationships? And how do you speak up if you are unhappy and unfulfilled in a relationship? Why do you even need to speak up at that point, right? Many of us fear conflict and believe that speaking up will only make things worse. But let's challenge that notion. Is it a good enough reason to keep your thoughts and feelings hidden? The answer is a resounding no. The truth is, when we don't speak up, resentment builds. We start to feel a boundary being crossed, and instead of addressing it...2023-07-1141 min
Relationship Coaching School PodcastAMA- Angry Partner, Receiving Criticism, Not Asking Our Partner Questions - Jayson Gaddis & Ellen Boeder - 450On this AMA episode we tackle important questions from listeners. Inna is dealing with her boyfriend's anger issues and wonders if breaking up is the only solution. Kendra seeks advice on how to handle criticism from her husband. Stay tuned as Jayson and Ellen answer more insightful questions and offer guidance on building healthy and fulfilling relationships. Timestamps: 1:37 - Dealing with an angry partner 13:21 - Receiving criticism 25:48 - Not asking our partner questions Links: Transcript Order Jayson's book: Getting to Zero Apply to Relationship Coach Training Get 50% off your first month of relationship coaching...2023-06-0634 min
Relationship Coaching School Podcast1 Tip to Have a Sexy and Powerful Partnership Over Time - Jayson Gaddis & Ellen Boeder - 447Want to know one tip that most of us avoid or don't execute well so you can have a sexy and powerful partnership that lasts? It isn't going on more dates, and it isn't getting really good at repair. Find out how to transform your romantic relationship with Jayson and Ellen in this week's episode, and leave a comment below with your response/experience. Timestamps: 1:43 - 1 tip to have a sexy, powerful partnership over time 5:11 - What's holding couples back? 9:19 - Having a plan 15:54 - What does co-creation mean? Links: Transcript Get 50% off your...2023-05-1620 min
Optimal Health Daily - ARCHIVE 1 - Episodes 1-300 ONLYEmotional Safety is Necessary for Emotional Connection by Ellen BoederEllen Boeder with The Gottman Institute reveals the importance of emotional safety.Episode 2135: Emotional Safety is Necessary for Emotional Connection by Ellen BoederThe Gottman Institute understands that the human family is in crisis, and that all individuals are capable of and deserve compassion. It is their mission to reach out to families in order to help create and maintain greater love and health in relationships. They are committed to an ongoing program of research that increases the understanding of relationships and adds to the development of interventions that have been carefully evaluated. It is...2023-05-0710 minOptimal Health Daily - Fitness and NutritionEmotional Safety is Necessary for Emotional Connection by Ellen BoederEllen Boeder with The Gottman Institute reveals the importance of emotional safety.Episode 2135: Emotional Safety is Necessary for Emotional Connection by Ellen BoederThe Gottman Institute understands that the human family is in crisis, and that all individuals are capable of and deserve compassion. It is their mission to reach out to families in order to help create and maintain greater love and health in relationships. They are committed to an ongoing program of research that increases the understanding of relationships and adds to the development of interventions that have been carefully evaluated. It is...2023-05-0710 min
Relationship Coaching School PodcastRelationship is a Skill - Jayson Gaddis & Ellen Boeder - 437Jayson and Ellen discuss relationship skills we should learn (e.g. face reading, empathy, conflict resolution). There's no doubt that we have the capacity to have good relationships, because we know we're innately capable of being loving parents, partners, and positive citizens - that's what we're meant to be as humans - but cultivating our relational capacities is actually a developmental achievement and essential ingredient for health and wellness. Timestamps: 0:00 - Intro 1:46 - Relationship as a skill 14:38 - Why is a growth mindset important? 23:07 - Therapy clients vs. coaching clients 31:54 - Action step Useful Links:2023-03-0735 min
Relationship Coaching School PodcastBoundary & Leadership Tips For Parents - Jayson Gaddis & Ellen Boeder - 402What do you do as a parent when your child won’t do what you want/need them to do? Are you evoking healthy boundaries as part of your parenting practice? If being honest, have you ever heard yourself pathologizing your child as a means of justifying your parenting choices (i.e. my kid is strong-willed…)? Does your kid call the shots, and you feel you need some direction on how to take the leadership reins back? Join Ellen and I to discuss the types of challenges parents face today and pick up some tips to up...2022-07-0542 min
Schein OnInside Couples Therapy With Ellen BoederEllen Boeder is a psychotherapist, a couples therapist, and a relationship coach. She joins the show to give us a rare. Inside look into the couples therapy process; what really happens inside the sessions while working on a relationship and marriage.
More on Ellen at https://ellenboeder.com/
2022-04-2659 min
Crunchy Mom ClubEpisode #53: Childhood Attachment Trauma, and How it Shows Up in Your Adult Relationships, with Ellen Boeder, MA, LPCDescription:
In today's episode, I'm chatting with Ellen Boeder, MA, LPC, on the topic of childhood attachment trauma. Tune in to learn more about your own attachment style and the ways it might be surfacing in your current relational experience. You'll come away from this conversation with greater understanding around your patterns of relating to others, insight into how/why you developed your attachment style, and strategies for healing and creating more security in your present, and/or future, relationship(s).
In the Episode:
- Ellen’s interest as a youn...2022-01-2159 min
Life Coaching with Christine HasslerCC: Attachment Styles and How They Impact Our Adult Relationships with Ellen BoederThis episode is incredibly educational when it comes to our attachment styles. I talk with licensed psychotherapist Ellen Boeder about how attachment styles are formed, how they impact our adult relationships, and what we can do to heal them so we can have more secure attachments. A little more about Ellen . . . She has been a therapist since 2003. She has a strong background in yoga and meditation, and her graduate training in Transpersonal Psychology also deeply inform her work. Since getting married 12 years ago, and becoming a mother to two children, Ellen transitioned from working primarily with women to...2021-12-1153 min
UnlockedFrom prison volunteer to psychotherapist: 20 years of helping people transform their lives with Ellen BoederFrom a very young age, Ellen Boeder had big questions about our collective connectivity and she wanted to fully understand the relationship with herself and with others.At the age of 14, in her first week of high school, she was introduced to a therapist who visited her health class, and it was then that she knew psychology (and personal growth) was the path for her.Fast forward to her first 'real' experience in the field, as a volunteer at a women's prison, Ellen taught creative writing to inmates as a form of therapy and healing...2021-10-1157 min
Redefining Movement456. Get Your Relationships Back to Zero with Jayson GaddisJayson Gaddis, founder of The Relationship School, returns to the show to talk about his brand new book, Getting to Zero, all about how to work through conflict in your most important relationships. Jayson is also the founder of The Relationship School as well as the host of The Relationship School Podcast.We talk about what getting to zero means and how to get there, the importance of resolving or dealing with conflict in the best way possible – whether with friends, colleagues, family members, or lovers – and how unresolved conflict doesn’t benefit anyone – least of all ours...2021-10-0844 min
Relationship Coaching School PodcastHow Physical Therapy is Like Your Relationship Life - Jayson Gaddis & Ellen Boeder - 359What’s your mindset when it comes to taking care of your body? If you get injured, do you just let a professional (physical therapist, chiropractor, surgeon, etc.) try to fix the problem? Or do you take a proactive approach where you apply effort to your body in order to avoid repeating the injury or getting a new one? Your mindset can mean the difference between growth and keeping yourself in constant pain. Guess what—the same thing applies to relationships. Check out this week’s podcast, where Ellen and I discuss how the two are similar and what we’ve...2021-09-0826 min
Relationship Coaching School PodcastWhen Your Spiritual Work Isn’t Enough - Jayson Gaddis and Ellen Boeder - 349Spiritual growth and relational growth are both important to experience. But where do the two intersect? It can be difficult to bring your experience and discomfort into a relationship as it is; how do two people learn to do this as a unit? In this episode, my wife, Ellen, and I discuss the reason individual spiritual work can’t always fix relational problems and how to keep from getting stuck as a couple. Useful Links: http://relationshipschool.com/challenge http://relationshipschool.com/training https://ellenboeder.com/ 2021-07-0126 min
Relationship Coaching School PodcastOne of The Biggest Co-Parenting Dynamics That Creates Resentments - Jayson Gaddis & Ellen Boeder - 346Have you ever watched parents and wondered “WTF is going on there?” Lol. Me too. My wife and I do our best to try to help parents be a team. It can be very hard, especially when it’s often a “divide and conquer” approach due to our busy lives. I get it. there’s a place for that. But many parents fall into “roles” and traps inside their marriage. In this episode we cover one of the biggest traps many parents fall into, and what to do about it. Check it out. 2021-06-0928 min
Mindful Impact with Justin FranciscoTop 3 Takes: In a loving partnership having shared values, using arguments as growth and scheduling intimacy.My top 3 takeaways on Monday's episode with Ellen Boeder - prioritizing your partner and growing together.2021-02-1708 min
Relationship Coaching School PodcastWhen Your Partner Doesn’t Need Anything - Jayson Gaddis and Ellen Boeder - 330In this week’s podcast, my wife Ellen and I answer a common question: What do we do with this person who is saying they don't need anything? We posted a short video on this, and it received so many comments we thought we’d elaborate. Listen in as we unpack this question and give you tips on what to do. Useful Links: https://relationshipschool.com/training How To Communicate Your Need For Space In A Relationship – Jayson Gaddis and Ellen Boeder – 318 How To Communicate Your Need For Connection In A Relations...2021-02-1623 minMindful Impact with Justin FranciscoPrioritizing your partner and growing together with Ellen BoederOn today’s episode of Mindful Impact, Justin speaks with Ellen Boeder, faculty at The Relationship School, about some essential tips for cultivating more mindful relationships. Learn more about Ellen at her website: www.ellenboeder.com. Episode Highlights: Ellen is faculty at The Relationship School, founded by her husband. The thing that makes Ellen excited to wake up in the morning is her family and her daily morning yoga practice. She loves to connect with nature and appreciates the ability to get outside. She first picked up yoga 25 years ago, when she was...2021-02-1550 min
Relationship Coaching School Podcast4 Questions To Start A New Relationship Or New Year - Jayson Gaddis & Ellen Boeder - 323As 2020 winds down, what are you hoping to see what happens in the new year with your relationship? Maybe you want to rekindle the romance. Or maybe you want to start a family. Whatever your hopes and dreams are for the new year, in this podcast, my wife Ellen and I give you four important questions to start the new year. Here is one of the questions: Why are you together? In other words, what is the purpose of your relationship? Listen in as we unpack this question along with the other three. ...2020-12-2919 min
Life Coaching with Christine HasslerCC: Why the Grunt Work is Worth it in Relationships with Jayson Gaddis and Ellen Boeder Christine and Stef sit down with an awesome couple who also both happen to be coaches and therapists. Listen in to a very honest conversation about what it takes to have a healthy, fulfilling relationship. A little more about our guests: Jayson Gaddis, author, podcaster, speaker, and entrepreneur, is the founder of The Relationship School, an impact-based company dedicated to helping people work out their differences and have fulfilling long-term partnerships. Jayson is considered a world leader in relationships. He founded The Relationship School®, is the creator of Interpersonal Intelligence® and Present Centered Relationship Coaching®. He trains people from aroun...2020-12-051h 09
Relationship Coaching School PodcastHow To Communicate Your Need For Connection In A Relationship - Jayson Gaddis & Ellen Boeder - 319In this week’s podcast, my wife Ellen and I continue the discussion on attachment dynamics and give tips for all you ‘pursuers.’ If you are the pursuer in your relationship who always wants to connect with your partner, especially under stress and anxiety, we want to help you learn how to communicate your need for connection better so you don’t drive the other person further away. Here are two very important questions I ask all couples to think about: Do we want the same kind of relationship? What do you really want out of...2020-12-0220 min
Relationship Coaching School PodcastHow To Communicate Your Need For Space In A Relationship - Jayson Gaddis and Ellen Boeder - 318Here’s a scenario: You and your partner had a fight or disagreement. You want to talk about it; they don’t. Hmmm. How do you deal? In this podcast, my wife Ellen and I give you a few tips for you avoidant-types on how to deal with your partner who always wants a connection or wants to talk about it. Here’s a critical question I ask space-takers to think about: Does withdrawing relieve my partner or not? In other words, is my space-taking helpful to my partner and good for our relationship...2020-11-2412 minRedefining Movement315 | Going to Relationship School | with Ellen Boeder and Jayson GaddisEllen Boeder and Jayson Gaddis are a married couple, both psychotherapists, and they practice LYT™ Daily! Jayson is the founder of The Relationship School, as well as the host of The Relationship School Podcast, and he has a lot to say about becoming a good partner.Ellen Boeder, MA, LPC is a psychotherapist and coach for couples in Boulder, Colorado, who has been interested in how relationships actually work for as long as she can remember. Studying with innovative researchers and cutting edge practitioners in the field of psychology, relationships, and yoga for over 20 years has helped he...2020-11-1356 min
Women TodayMotherhood, Feminism & Finding Integration with Ellen BoederIn this episode, I talk to psychotherapist and Relationship School faculty member, Ellen Boeder, about the complex decisions women face while navigating motherhood. We talk about how the needs of both Self and others can sometimes feel at odds and how to explore new ways of being and structuring life so that personal fulfillment and alignment is more possible. We touch on women’s mid-life development and the opportunities for growth that can emerge and reveal themselves through dreams and other non-linear access points. Ellen shares about the importance of deep listening and empathy as two foundational tools for cr...2020-10-221h 02
Relationship Coaching School PodcastHow to Work with Different Attachment Styles - Jayson Gaddis and Ellen Boeder - 313Here’s a scenario: You want to talk about something that is bothering you, but your partner tells you they need some time to think and walks away. You end up feeling frustrated and ignored for the rest of the day. Sounds familiar, right? Then this new podcast will shed some serious light on this dynamic. If you are interested in attachment dynamics, you’ll appreciate this podcast. My wife Ellen and I answer some of your questions about attachment styles posted directly from our Instagram followers Shownotes: 4:10 Under...2020-10-2128 min
Life Coaching with Christine HasslerCC: Attachment Styles and How They Impact Our Adult Relationships with Ellen BoederThis episode is incredibly educational when it comes to our attachment styles. I talk with licensed psychotherapist Ellen Boeder about how attachment styles are formed, how they impact our adult relationships, and what we can do to heal them so we can have more secure attachments. A little more about Ellen . . . She has been a therapist since 2003. She has a strong background in yoga and meditation, and her graduate training in Transpersonal Psychology also deeply inform her work. Since getting married 12 years ago, and becoming a mother to two children, Ellen transitioned from working primarily with women to...2020-02-0152 min
Relationship Coaching School PodcastThe Top 5 Things Men Want from Women in Partnership with Ellen Boeder -Relationship School Podcast EPISODE 234In this episode, you'll find out "The top 5 things men want from women in a relationship." And, the #1 answer, and clear leader by far, may surprise you. No... it's not sex. Listen in to hear what men—who are willing to share their vulnerability—are saying they really want in a relationship. Ellen and I dig into what these brave men are bringing to the relationship conversation and consider what their responses point to. I also mention in the Podcast, Ellen and I are looking into mentoring a couples mastermind. We want to work...2019-05-0731 min
MotherbirthMotherhood, Body Image and Diet Culture — 071Today’s episode inspires women to shed the programming and ideals society has fed us about how we feel about our bodies and what we should look like. Licensed Psychotherapist Ellen Boeder shares insights on how to be empowered during motherhood and beyond and how we can profoundly respect the value of our nurturing, feminine, magnificent selves.
Ellen has spent most of her career working with women through the deep-rooted confusion that can lead to eating disorders and body image issues. She helps women sort through the culturally handed-down and media-driven information that has created unrealistic ideals of what it me...2018-08-2000 min
Relationship Coaching School PodcastSC 206 - The Mother-Son Relationship Dynamic - Ellen & JaysonYou know those couples where the woman handles almost everything and the man, well ... kind of kicks back and acts like a teenager? That's the mother-son dynamic and in this episode, you'll learn how to escape that relationship trap and figure out why it happens in the first place. The Mom-Son Dynamic From A Woman’s Perspective [3:00] The Mom-Son Dynamic From A Guy’s Perspective [5:00] How to Help A Couple Living In A Parent-Child Relationship [9:00] How The Male Ego Comes Into Play [16:00] For the full Smart Couple Podcast webpage for this episode featuring Ellen Boeder visit...2018-08-0219 min
Relationship Coaching School PodcastSC 203 - Reassuring A Jealous Partner - Ellen & JaysonWe all want a little reassurance. And that's okay! But as Jayson's wife Ellen Boeder points out, if you're needing reassurance because you feel jealous, the issue you should address is the insecurity in your relationship. Is Monogamy The Problem Or Insecure Attachment? [1:00] The Power Of Reassurance [5:00] Two Impediments To Reassurance [10:00] Navigating A Jealous Partnership [13:00] For the full Smart Couple Podcast webpage for this episode featuring Ellen Boeder visit https://relationshipschool.net/podcast2032018-07-0317 min
Zen Pop ParentingConnection Is Food- An Interview with Relationship Experts Jayson Gaddis and Ellen Boeder- Podcast #444Todd and Cathy talk with Jayson Gaddis & Ellen Boeder, partners and cofounders of The Relationship School. Jayson also hosts the Smart Couple Podcast, and Ellen is a therapist with a private practice. They discuss how couples grow and thrive, why men have a harder time focusing on personal growth, and why connection and self-understanding are the keys to an empowered life.2018-07-031h 16
Relationship Coaching School PodcastSC 189 - Top 10 Takeaways From The Interpersonal Neurobiology Conference at UCLA - Jayson & EllenThis year's Interpersonal Neurobiology Conference at UCLA was a dream for a relationship research and brain science nerd! If you geek out on that stuff, you'll love hearing the highlights Jayson and his therapist partner, Ellen Boeder, have in their personal conference notes. SHOWNOTES: Antonio Damasio Highlights [5:00] Dan Siegel Highlights [8:00] Harville Hendrix and Helen Hunt Highlights - Safe Conversation [12:00] Crazy Listening Statistic [15:00] Secure Functioning Relationships and Other Stan Tatkin Highlights [18:00] Insight for Therapists and Couples from Peter Pierson [18:00] Affairs and Esther Perel Highlights [25:00] The Shame of Staying With a Partner That Cheats [29:00] Insight from...2018-03-3041 min
Sex Birth Trauma with Kimberly Ann JohnsonEP21: Ellen Boeder on Motherhood, Feminism, and the Real Costs of Overvaluing IndependenceWhat Ellen Shares: Her exploration of feminism and motherhood Her new understanding of career after motherhood How the cultural standards of having to do it all, alone, sets mothers up for burnout How burnout and health issues allowed her learn how to receive help and collaborate with community Her desire to add motherhood, bodies, and intuition to the feminist conversation; plus giving women the permission and agency to do what’s right for them What You’ll Hear: How Ellen’s work shifted when she became a mother (2:30) How her feminism has shifted with motherhood (4:24) How mother...2018-02-1658 min
Relationship Coaching School PodcastSC 179 - Podcast Changes & Top 10 Podcasts From 2017Happy New Year! In this special episode, Jayson shares his candid thoughts on what worked for the Smart Couple Podcast last year, what did not and the changes planned for 2018. We also get Jayson's top ten episodes list from 2017. SHOWNOTES The Smart Couple Podcast: Reflections on 2017 and Plans for 2018 [4:00] What's The Relationship School Have In Store for 2018? [12:00] Jayson's 2017 Top Ten Episodes List [17:00] Hidden Power Of Conflict – Annie Lalla – SC 88 How To Deal With An Avoidant Partner & Interpersonal Stress – Stan Tatkin – SC 104 The Neuroscience & Power of Safe Relationships – Stephen W. Porges – SC 116 Ayahuasca, Trauma, & Relationships – Dr. Gabor Maté...2018-01-0626 min
Relationship Coaching School PodcastSC 176 - Why Spiritually Developed People Struggle With Monogamy - Ellen & Jayson Is your spiritual growth helping your relationship? Are you collaborating with your partner to better yourself as an individual? Or are you going to your corner of the house to meditate all by yourself? Their careers as therapists and decades of mediation experience have lead Jayson Gaddis and his wife Ellen Boeder to multiple spiritual development discoveries. Turns out even the most spiritually advanced amongst us struggle with relationships. Jayson and Ellen also encourage couples to discover how collaboration with a partner in times of stress can strengthen each individual. This episode is full of t...2017-12-0643 minSex Birth Trauma with Kimberly Ann JohnsonEllen Boeder on Attunement, Attachment, Regulation and Having the Relationships We WantThis podcast we discuss attachment theory and the nervous system. We talk about navigating relationships as new moms and as partners, co-dependence vs. interdependence and how mom, partner and baby’s needs can all be met allowing everyone’s cup to be full. In this episode Ellen shares: How attachment affects our nervous systems and relationships with our children and our partners. The reality of coming from an adulthood of independence into motherhood The challenges of preparing for the unknown The kind of family we can create where everyone can get there needs met How t...2017-10-2456 min
Relationship Coaching School PodcastSC 152 - Ellen Boeder - My Wife On How To Repair After A Ruptured ConnectionFighting and emotional upset is just part of the program in a committed relationship over many years. But what separates the smart couple from people who really struggle is being able to repair well. In this episode, my wife Ellen Boeder covers why "the repair" is so critical in a strong partnership. It's essential as a parent, so why would it be any different with your partner. Listen in to get a few tips on how to do this fundamental skill and learn from Ellen and me as we share from our own marriage. SHOWNOTES What...2017-08-2442 min
Relationship Coaching School PodcastSC 64 - Tracking & Parenting Your Partner With Ellen BoederCodependency gets a bad rap. Parenting your partner? Who wants be married to their mom or dad? But there’s more to the story here. And lots of gold if you’re willing to reframe and play the “attachment” game in your primary relationship. My wife Ellen joins me again with her attachment knowledge and personal experience on how to track and parent your partner. We give some personal examples from our marriage as well. SHOWNOTES Why do people freak out when they hear the idea of “parenting your partner” or “co-dependency”? [13:30] What is attachment in a relationship? [1...2016-08-1038 min
Soul Work For Moms: Evolution Through MotheringExhaustion & Depletion in Motherhood w/ Ellen Boeder - episode #17Do you know what "resources" you? What gives you energy rather than takes away?
What worked for you before you were a mother might not work for you anymore, and what worked in the first years of parenting might need to be updated. If you are depleted, it's near impossible to mother from an empowered place, and today's guest, psychotherapist Ellen Boeder, is passionate about mothering in an empowered, sustainable way.
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In this episode you'll hear:
-How Ellen's experience of motherhood changed after having her second child
...2016-05-3000 min
soulworkformoms's podcastExhaustion & Depletion in Motherhood w/ Ellen Boeder - episode #17Do you know what “resources” you? What gives you energy rather than takes away? What worked for you before you were a mother might not work for you anymore, and what worked in the first years of parenting might need to be updated. If you are depleted, it’s near impossible to mother from an empowered place, and today’s guest, psychotherapist Ellen Boeder, is passionate about mothering in an empowered, sustainable way.2016-05-3043 min