Shows
Tell Me About Your MotherEpisode 50: Guest Sandra Killebrew | High-Conflict Couples Therapy, Boundaries & Telling Hard TruthsSandra Killebrew is a high-conflict couple therapist with a boutique private practice in Tacoma, WA. She offers therapy intensives for couples in addition to weekly therapy. She likes to get on her soapbox about excellence in therapy, boundaries, telling the truth, even when it hurts, and is not afraid to say fuck. She hosts networking groups in Tacoma & Seattle and is on the board of the International Experiential Dynamic Therapy Association.Guest intro: Sandra’s unique style—therapy intensives, strong boundaries, focus on truth-telling, and comfort with conflict.Silence in therapy: Why awkward pauses can...2025-07-232h 01Tell Me About Your MotherEpisode 49: Sexuality, Shame, and Therapist BiasEvan shares a personal story from a therapy group where power and bias were misusedHow therapists can be abusive — even to other therapistsThe danger of bringing personal values, beliefs, or shame agendas into the therapy roomWhy opacity (not transparency) can be safer and more ethical for clientsReader bias and how it distorts perception in clinical workThe myth of sexuality as a binary on/off switchThe shame response and how it gets used as a tool of controlWhy many men feel disempowered in th...2025-06-1854 minTell Me About Your MotherEpisode 48: Review Of Adolescence ShowEvan and Melissa do a brief review of the Netflix show "Adolescence," mostly focusing on the third episode and the intervention strategies of the Forensic Psychologist. Foresensic Psychologist began with rapport building and quickly shifted to a more authoritarian/contrarian relational toneMelissa, wha are poop puppets? Truth seeking is not rapport building or importantForensic Psychologist becomes dysregulated, fails to co-regulate with clientThe emotional experience of women when male clients become "apish"Social media groups and their confirmation biasesMom taking responsibility for regulating her husband and implicitly teaching her daughter of a woman's role in the home Support the...2025-04-1527 minTell Me About Your MotherEpisode 47: Social ContagionsThe Gloria videos (therapy session videos from the 1960s)Working with the adult selfPsychogenic seizuresWe are NOT neurologists Social contagions Conversion disorder Wim Hoff breathingClients finding stability and discontinuing therapy prior to deep change Co-regulation Podcast mentions: "Hysteria" and "Harvey Speaks." Support the showHave any questions or insights about this episode? Reach out to us at contactus@tellmeaboutyourmother.run2025-04-011h 07Tell Me About Your MotherEpisode 46: What’s A Hoe Bag?Just because you can ask a pointed question doesn’t mean you shouldThe analogy of an attic with boxes representing emotional memories to categorize minimized, avoided, or displaced memoriesThe need to "sell" therapy to clients who are in the precontemplative stage of changeClient dissociation in session Suppressed rage can exacerbate back pain Your marital conflicts are not ACTUALLY about the dishesPolyvagal Theory basicsPodcast References: Hooked (A person robbed 30 banks to support his opiate addiction) Support the showHave any questions or insights about this episode? Reach out to us at contactus@tellmeaboutyourmother.run2025-03-0643 minTell Me About Your MotherEpisode 45: Unspoken AgreementsMelissa and Evan share their past experiences with unspoken agreements in relationships Passing off anxieties to partner to resolve insecurities Finances are a common reason for divorceUnspoken agreements utilized in an attempt to resolve attachment traumaFawning to prevent from abandonment, maladaptive self-preservation Mind reading We need to deal in realities, not “shoulds” Support the showHave any questions or insights about this episode? Reach out to us at contactus@tellmeaboutyourmother.run2025-01-1848 minTell Me About Your MotherEpisode 44: WTF is Christian Counseling"Christian Counseling" directly opposes the ACA Code of EthicsCounselors' political biases creating division with clientsThe new-age drama of "right and wrong think"Therapists should not be truth-seekersThe importance of sitting with clients that have different ideologiesMelissa shares about her love of Ricky MartinWhy is the counseling profession becoming a banner flag for social justice and advocacy?Approaching a client relationship similarly to visiting a foreign countryWe are entering the client's world, not inviting them to ours Support the showHave any questions or insights about this episode? Reach out to us at contactus@tellmeaboutyourmother.run2024-12-2055 minTell Me About Your MotherEpisode 43: The Devouring MotherFaulty torture tactics in the Iraq warCarl Jung's Devouring Mother ArchtypeBarriers when applying boundaries to parentsParents of children with addiction feel a sense of closeness in crisis Internal conflicts that occur when experiencing incongruence Support the showHave any questions or insights about this episode? Reach out to us at contactus@tellmeaboutyourmother.run2024-11-1551 minTell Me About Your MotherEpisode 42: Control PatternsPlease reach out via email or social media if you'd like to participate in our FREE wellness audit where we take a brief snapshot of your presenting problems and offer insight into establishing possible new strategies of engaging with self and others.Wellness AuditTransference begins even in the initial consultation with a clientOperating from “control pattern"Ineffectiveness of solely practicing Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Rogerian TherapyThe importance of conflict in therapyTherapy should go far beyond the clients’ presenting problems They “why” isn’t as important as the “what” Support the showHave any questions o...2024-11-0148 minTell Me About Your MotherEpisode 41: Therapists Also Grow In TherapyEvan and Melissa explore how clients have been their greatest teachers. Topics also include:Negative attribution styles Evan and Melissa discuss what they view as their greatest accomplish with a client Sexual trauma response of eliciting “testing behaviors” to possible aggressors The power of entertaining the clients presenting problemExploring with the client: What are we contracting to do?Evan talks about this upcoming climbing trip Support the showHave any questions or insights about this episode? Reach out to us at contactus@tellmeaboutyourmother.run2024-10-071h 04
Roberta Glass True Crime ReportInnocence Project Scandal! Lawyer Offers Prison Romance & Money to Convict for An Exonerating Confession?!Paige Kaneb of the North California Innocence Project is under hot water for allegations that she had an undisclosed romance with an incarcerated murderer and offered him half of the settlement money to free her client, a convicted killer.Show Notes: San Francisco Standard “A Prison Romance, A Recanted Jailhouse Confessions & Broken Promises” - https://sfstandard.com/2024/06/10/false-testimony-maurice-caldwell-marritte-funches-paige-kenab-innocence-project/San Francisco Standard “Innocence Project Lawyer Who Had Romance with Witness Investigated By State Bar” - https://sfstandard.com/2024/08/21/innocence-project-lawyer-who-had-affair-with-witness-investigated-by-state-bar/“Crooked City” Martin Preib - Crooked City https://a.co/d/alAMvy2A Murder in the Park - https://yout...2024-09-111h 14Tell Me About Your MotherEpisode 40: Recovering From CodependencyEvan and Melissa discuss the nature of recovering from codependency, its benefits, and challenges.Finding recovery from codependency or other mental health struggles CODA a 12-step recovery program for people recovering from CodependencyRecovery is not an arrival Complications of personal growth journeyThe risk of outgrowing relationships Stages of change Support the showHave any questions or insights about this episode? Reach out to us at contactus@tellmeaboutyourmother.run2024-09-031h 05Tell Me About Your MotherEpisode 39: The Vagus NerveEvan and Melissa discuss the vagus nerve and its implications in emotional regulation and treatment.3 stages of polyvagal theoryTechnology outrunning our limbic systems evolutionAnxiety tension and fear are attempts to intellectualize feeling Feeling avoidance compared to a nicotine cravingNeurolinguistic programming Melissa also is gracious enough to offer her charts to any of our TMAYM supporters! Feel free to reach out to our email contactus@tellmeaboutyourmother.run Support the showHave any questions or insights about this episode? Reach out to us at contactus@tellmeaboutyourmother.run2024-08-0245 minTell Me About Your MotherEpisode 38: Pop Psychology PropagandaEvan and Melissa explore the often deductive and maladaptive conceptualizations pop psychology shares on social media and its negative consequences. We plan to make this a series since there's a lot of material to cover. This episode focuses on social media reels that are giving advice as to what types of texts to send to your partner that has an anxious attachment style. Support the showHave any questions or insights about this episode? Reach out to us at contactus@tellmeaboutyourmother.run2024-06-2157 min
Tell Me About Your MotherEpisode 37: Healing Through SongEvan and Jamie Kay meet and discuss the healing, reflective, and connecting elements of songwriting with the writer and its audiences. Jamie has written over 300 songs in the course of his 50 years of songwriting. He's a gifted storyteller whose sincerity penetrates throughout our conversation. We're happy to share his energy with our listeners! Support the showHave any questions or insights about this episode? Reach out to us at contactus@tellmeaboutyourmother.run2024-05-171h 27Tell Me About Your MotherEpisode 36: Witchcraft AccusationEvan and Melissa discuss clients' perspectives that therapists have super powers, how being seen in a raw, deep, meaningful way can at times feel like voodoo magic. Support the showHave any questions or insights about this episode? Reach out to us at contactus@tellmeaboutyourmother.run2024-05-0632 minTell Me About Your MotherEpisode 36: Witchcraft AccusationsSend us a Text Message.Evan and Melissa discuss clients' perspectives that therapists have super powers, how being seen in a raw, deep, meaningful way can at times feel like voodoo magic. Support the Show.2024-05-0632 minTell Me About Your MotherEpisode 35: Why Don't I Cry In Therapy?Evan and Melissa answer an audience question regarding intellectual defenses in session. "How do I get my therapist to become aware that I am using my intellect to deflect from emotional vulnerability in our sessions?" We are hoping to incorporate this type of interaction with followers more often. If you have any questions about therapy, please don't hesitate to reach out! Support the showHave any questions or insights about this episode? Reach out to us at contactus@tellmeaboutyourmother.run2024-04-121h 10Tell Me About Your MotherEpisode 35: Why Don't I Cry In Therapy?Evan and Melissa answer an audience question regarding intellectual defenses in session. "How do I get my therapist to become aware that I am using my intellect to deflect from emotional vulnerability in our sessions?" We are hoping to incorporate this type of interaction with followers more often. If you have any questions about therapy, please don't hesitate to reach out! Support the show2024-04-1203 minTell Me About Your MotherEpisode 34: Intellectual AvoidanceEvan and Melissa explore how intellectualizing stories serves as a protective distancing from emotional exploration, expression, and healing.Implicit memory healingBilateral stimulation CBT often ineffective for treating Bottom up approach to client care versus top down approach Emotional-relational realm being the healing quality of therapy Support the showHave any questions or insights about this episode? Reach out to us at contactus@tellmeaboutyourmother.run2024-03-1539 minTell Me About Your MotherEpisode 33: Dissociative AttunementEvan and Melissa explore the ways in which clients use intellectualism as a means to conceptualize emotional memories to maintain safety. Topics also include: Emotional attainmentMaintaining an observer role when someone is dysregulatedMaladaptive ways of creating self-protectionTherapy is not advice-givingExplore emotional memories is delicate and is a process Support the showHave any questions or insights about this episode? Reach out to us at contactus@tellmeaboutyourmother.run2024-03-0153 minTell Me About Your MotherEpisode 32: Emotional AttunementEvan, Melissa, and Eli share their experiences with client attunement and the ways in which such connection can promote a deep sense of understanding and meaning.Emotional attunement with clients informing unconventional approaches Eli sifts through his transcription grad school notes from 1913Emotional attunement compared to flocks of birds and musiciansIntuition informing therapeutic path Support the showHave any questions or insights about this episode? Reach out to us at contactus@tellmeaboutyourmother.run2024-02-0251 minTell Me About Your MotherEpisode 31: Police ProfilingEvan, Melissa, and Eli process Evan's recent experience being harassed by the police. Topics also include:ProfilingCrime and punishment ideologyLife-long record keeping Escalation before de-escalationCop incompetence Support the showHave any questions or insights about this episode? Reach out to us at contactus@tellmeaboutyourmother.run2024-01-1956 minTell Me About Your MotherEpisode 30: Pray The Gay Away?Evan and Eli meet in video form for the first time-- available on Youtube! They use this hour to explore themes of:Conversion TherapyEmotional Residue from clientsCounter-transferrence Support the showHave any questions or insights about this episode? Reach out to us at contactus@tellmeaboutyourmother.run2023-12-2047 minTell Me About Your MotherEpisode 29: Dating DopamineParentified child impact in romantic relationships Cultural differences fueling assumptions in friendship DOS OS How the dating sphere has changed with technology You watched too many Disney movies Culture of immediacy impeded on natural romantic development The romantic spark is bullshitDopamine dating Are we marketing authenticity?Compatibility is found through mutual authentic marketing Caretaking others reflects fear of rejection as opposed to caring for others Evan’s soapbox grow up stop attaching previous relationship experiences Dating isn’t easy for men eitherNew generation perceived pursuit as predatory Evan shares his hinge profile with Eli and Melissa Supp...2023-12-041h 06Tell Me About Your MotherEpisode 28: Playboy-AI-Sex DollsEvan and Eli join for another episode to explore how therapists can unintentionally assume understanding of clients' stories based on personal bias. They then explore the evolution of porn and its possible future implications on sexuality, dating, and identity.Only fans AI becoming a sexual sphere Sex dollsSpecifically identifying the core When we feel stuck Men being “too nice” ripple of toxic masculinity Support the showHave any questions or insights about this episode? Reach out to us at contactus@tellmeaboutyourmother.run2023-11-0332 min