Shows
Healing the UnresolvedWalking out of the Prison of Self-BlameToday’s podcast answers a question from someone who feels completely disconnected from God, specifically His love and forgiveness. Children, when in stressful situations, will often cope by blaming themselves. This can lead to a life of guilt over things they never did wrong. This can often lead to believing and feeling like the love of God is for everyone except us.2025-03-2900 minHealing the UnresolvedThe Healing Work: Our Cross and Inner AsceticToday’s podcast offers a reflection on how the healing work is a profound way of taking up our cross as well as deepening our ascetical life. It is very important to be reminded that our healing work is not outside of our spiritual life nor contrary to it, but rather an integral part of our spiritual life and a great enhancer of it.2025-03-2200 minHealing the UnresolvedThe Healing Work: Our Cross and Inner AsceticToday’s podcast offers a reflection on how the healing work is a profound way of taking up our cross as well as deepening our ascetical life. It is very important to be reminded that our healing work is not outside of our spiritual life nor contrary to it, but rather an integral part of our spiritual life and a great enhancer of it.2025-03-2200 minHealing the UnresolvedWhen I Don’t Trust Myself to TalkToday’s podcast answers a question from someone who is suffering from social anxiety, to the point where they no longer interact with people or go outside. The constant ruminating over how we talked, communicated, or interacted, can cause some to completely avoid interactions. Today’s podcast focuses on casting a light on the path that the submitter of question can take so that the sound of their voice and their own thoughts do not cause them pain.2025-03-1400 minHealing the UnresolvedWhen I Don’t Trust Myself to TalkToday’s podcast answers a question from someone who is suffering from social anxiety, to the point where they no longer interact with people or go outside. The constant ruminating over how we talked, communicated, or interacted, can cause some to completely avoid interactions. Today’s podcast focuses on casting a light on the path that the submitter of question can take so that the sound of their voice and their own thoughts do not cause them pain.2025-03-1400 minHealing the UnresolvedWhen we Feel Like a Stray HumanAbandonment and rejection are painful experiences that can make us feel like we have no emotional home. Also, they can make us live like we are living a life on the run; running from humanity, and from ever having those experiences again. Unfortunately when we do this, we will never heal and we will stay trapped in the abandonment and rejection we experienced. Today’s podcast answers questions from someone who had such experiences and is encouraged to bloom where they are planted.2025-03-0800 minHealing the UnresolvedWhen we Feel Like a Stray HumanAbandonment and rejection are painful experiences that can make us feel like we have no emotional home. Also, they can make us live like we are living a life on the run; running from humanity, and from ever having those experiences again. Unfortunately when we do this, we will never heal and we will stay trapped in the abandonment and rejection we experienced. Today’s podcast answers questions from someone who had such experiences and is encouraged to bloom where they are planted.2025-03-0800 minHealing the UnresolvedWhen the Monastic Path is not LinearToday’s podcast answers the question from someone who spent years in a monastery, but after some struggles stepped away but plans on going back. The submitter of the question is struggling with their understanding and perceptions of their experience, and wondering if they need more counseling to resolve what feels unresolved.2025-03-0100 minHealing the UnresolvedWhen the Monastic Path is not LinearToday’s podcast answers the question from someone who spent years in a monastery, but after some struggles stepped away but plans on going back. The submitter of the question is struggling with their understanding and perceptions of their experience, and wondering if they need more counseling to resolve what feels unresolved.2025-03-0100 minHealing the UnresolvedRediscovering God‘s easy Yoke in the Wake of TraumaToday’s podcast answers a question from someone who endured painful experiences at an early age and is struggling to understand how they can find their way back to a healthy place in the church, with God, and as a healthy orthodox Christian. Traumatic experiences leave us feeling bad, shameful, and defective. We often have to come to realize that it was the experiences that were deeply flawed, not us. Trauma teaches us to expect far more of ourselves than God would ever expect.2025-02-2200 minHealing the UnresolvedWhen Confession Feels UnsafeToday’s podcast answers a question from someone who had a negative experience in confession and is afraid to go back. The discussion focuses on what healthy confession should look like and how confession is in encounter with God. It is an opportunity to, in an experiential way, experience the mercy and love of God. It is important that we find our way back to confession in order to give ourselves an opportunity for a positive confession experience and to unlearn the procedural memories that formed from the negative experience.2025-02-1500 minHealing the UnresolvedA Hard Earned PeaceToday’s podcast takes a break from answering questions and offers a glimpse or even a sneak preview of what awaits us on the other side of the healing work. Truly we can reach that state where the healing work is done and we are free to just be completely mindful of the present. Where we can find ourselves in a complete state of peace and mindfulness in which there is no more clutter or noise from the pain of the past, but just a profound awareness and sense of God’s presence. It’s a peace that emerges when, as the...2025-02-0800 minHealing the UnresolvedDoes the Body need closure?Today’s podcast answers a question from someone engaged in the process of healing trauma. In the process of their counseling they have tried some exercises from somatic therapy. Trauma is not only stored in memories, but in the body. Many people are phobic or nervous about anything that involves focusing on the body. However, in our orthodox tradition, the body is not bad and is a temple of the Holy Spirit. Expelling trauma from the body is a good thing.2025-02-0100 minHealing the UnresolvedAccepting the Sunshine After the StormToday’s podcast answers the question of what does the late stages of the healing work look like. How do we recognize it and what exactly are we striving for. It is important to be able to recognize that new space when we arrive. We need the necessary knowledge so that we can recognize the past from present and utilize the tools we learned along the way. It also means learning to accept the sunshine after the storm. In other words, if we don’t recognize it, we might not know to start living it.2025-01-2500 minHealing the UnresolvedWhen Goodbyes Hurt Too MuchGoodbyes are universally difficult. This is especially true when they involve someone who has played a key role in our lives. Some ensuing sadness is normal. However, what if we experience more than that? What if each time we have to say a goodbye or separate from someone, we feel like something traumatic is happening and find ourselves overwhelmed with grief? This often means that something else is happening. Today’s podcast answers a question that involves this struggle. Discussion focuses on what often lies under the surface when this occurs and how to resolve it.2025-01-1800 minHealing the UnresolvedHaving a Balanced SpiritToday’s podcast offers a message to start our healing work and spiritual life off on the right foot in the new year. The pace and spirit in which we move through our spiritual lives and the healing work are critical and often imbalanced. Today’s podcast covers key points to help maintain balance.2025-01-1100 minHealing the UnresolvedDisenfranchised Grief: Finding the Beginning and the EndToday’s podcast answers the question of what are some concrete steps someone can follow in grieving a disenfranchised loss such as the loss of a normal childhood.
The submitter of the question is feeling stuck in the healing work and don’t know if they have even started grieving. Sometimes when we have started grieving, we might feel disoriented and not quite sure where we are in the process. Today’s podcast discusses finding the beginning and the end of this process and making sure certain steps are worked towards and accomplished.2024-12-2100 minHealing the UnresolvedDo I have to go?: Healthy Avoidance vs Unhealthy AvoidanceToday’s podcast answers a question from somebody struggling over whether to go to a family function. The source of the struggle is that the family of origin is profoundly dysfunctional and unhealthy. Today’s podcast focuses on discerning between healthy avoidance and unhealthy avoidance and knowing precisely when it’s okay to not go to something.2024-12-1400 minHealing the UnresolvedWhen We Outheal our FriendsWhen doing the healing work, we can often find ourselves in a different space than many people we have been used to spending time with. We can find ourselves in uncharted waters as we begin to see life through a different lens. Knowing how to handle changes in dynamics and friendships as a result of our growth can be challenging. Today’s podcast speaks to this. It also answers a second question about when saying no in a parish setting becomes difficult.2024-12-0600 minHealing the UnresolvedEmpathy: The Oil and Wine of TodayToday’s podcast speaks on a valuable resource that is in short supply, and that is empathy. Each day as we set out into the world we are in the spiritual space of the road from Jerusalem to Jericho. The wounded of today are suffering from the wounds of not being loved fully or enough and being starved of attention, understanding, and compassion. The medicine of the ancient world was wine and oil but today it is empathy and love.2024-11-2200 minHealing the UnresolvedHow much to focus on the present or the past?Today’s podcast answers two questions. The first is about if we can heal from painful prenatal experiences that are stored in implicit memory. The second question pertains to whether or not there are appropriate situations were complete cut off from a family member is okay.2024-11-0900 minHealing the UnresolvedGratitude, Self-Acceptance, and PeaceToday’s podcast offers three brief reflections. We find ourselves in the midst of a season of great change. Rather than feel helpless in the face of all the change around us, we could choose to be deliberate with the time that God has given us. If we can be good stewards of the time that God has given us, gratitude will be easier to come by. Gratitude and self-acceptance open the doors to the peace of Christ.2024-11-0200 minHealing the UnresolvedTrying to be Good Enough: When we tread Water for LifeToday’s podcast speaks about a deep and gnawing fear that many people struggle with, and that is the fear of not being good enough. When we live with this fear we find ourselves trapped in a never ending quest to seek affirmation, please others, and be successful.
Our life can be spent in the never-ending act of treading water by trying to keep our heads above the emotional waterline between being good enough and shame.2024-10-2600 minHealing the UnresolvedIt Takes Two: When A Cross Needs to be Carried by both in the MarriageToday’s podcast answers a question from someone whose spouse has been suffering from untreated mental illness which is exacting a heavy toll on the submitter of the question. Both the husband and the wife have a responsibility to look out for each other, protect each other, and play a role in carrying each other‘s crosses. If one member of the marriage believes it’s all on them to carry the load alone, it will lead to burn out, and to the very thing they are trying to avoid.2024-10-1900 minHealing the UnresolvedHonoring Thy Mother and Father in the Wake of Family PainToday’s podcast answers a question from someone whose elderly mother is in need of help, but has cut herself off from her adult children. The mother has behaved harmfully to her kids in the past and suffers from mental illness. The submitter of the question is racked with despair, sadness, anger, and guilt. She is also profoundly struggling with confusion over what her role or duty is as a daughter. When dealing with a dysfunctional family of origin, we need to stay tethered to our own family now, so as not to lose ourselves in the dysfunction of the pa...2024-10-1200 minHealing the UnresolvedFaithful unto Death: When Children Bear the Guilt of their ParentsToday’s podcast answers a question from someone who suffered abuse when very young. In addition to that, she suffered abandonment from her parents when they did not support her and kept it as a shameful secret. Despite all of this, the submitter of the question seeks God and comes to church, but carries heavy burdens of beliefs that God doesn’t love her, is fed up with her, and that she does a poor job of showing Christian love. The reality is, her life is a shining example of the Christian life and of sacrificial love. Such is the devo...2024-10-0500 minHealing the UnresolvedProtecting Ourselves when Others want us WeakToday's podcast answers a series of questions from someone wanting to help their friend not be so vulnerable to relationships with people suffer from narcissistic traits. Specifically, what makes people vulnerable to narcissistic behaviors and how to heal from the very things that make us vulnerable to being manipulated. The real reality is, everything that we need is within us and overlooked. Today’s podcast offers detailed insights into the dynamics that keep people trapped in trying to please a narcissist.2024-09-2800 minHealing the UnresolvedNarcissism: Spotting the Great DeceiverToday’s podcast discusses a difficult topic. Narcissism is a word that evokes strong emotions in many. It is a loaded word that no one wants to be associated with. However, it is on the rise, and it is time for us to start having very open and genuine discussions about it. Narcissism is a continuum or spectrum. The various presentations of it on each part of the spectrum are discussed.2024-09-2100 minHealing the UnresolvedThe Great Escape: Living a New Narrative and Leaving the Past BehindToday’s podcast answers a question from someone who is trying to understand why their friendships and relationships don’t go very far and always seem to end broken. Despite doing years of talk therapy this pattern persists. To break out from trauma, there will be behaviors that need to be changed and new procedural memories to be learned.2024-09-1400 minHealing the UnresolvedThe Transfiguration of TraumaToday’s podcast offers a brief reflection of how to incorporate our traumatic or painful experiences into our spiritual life. It also speaks to the negative beliefs of believing that somehow it means something bad about us or our relationship with God that we had these experiences. Our spiritual life is spent ascending the slopes of Mount Tabor. Having to do the healing work offers us unique gifts and tools to help us ascend more efficiently.2024-08-2400 minHealing the UnresolvedFinding and Resolving our Hidden StoryToday’s podcast discusses how what is stored in our implicit memory can often drive so much of our present life and cause us to live according to a past narrative that is obsolete, rather than our present life. Unlike behaviors, which are easier to target and isolate, because they have a beginning and an end; painful memories stored in implicit memory can dictate our present behavior and be much harder to detect because the narrative is so pervasive in our life. But there is hope, today’s podcast discusses how to identify and resolve this.2024-08-1700 minHealing the UnresolvedWhen Envy Consumes UsToday’s podcast speaks to someone who is seeking advice over how to get relief from their unceasing envy and the act of always comparing themselves to others. Today’s podcast explores how our envy is rooted in either resentment, yearning, or is fear based. Uncovering what we are really missing and yearning for, can bring quick relief to envy and comparing ourselves to others.2024-08-0200 minHealing the UnresolvedWhen being Rejected is a VictoryToday’s podcast answers a question from someone who finally overcame their fear of seeking a relationship and ended up getting rejected. When we’ve had a history of painful experiences or trauma, such rejections can make us feel like it’s happening all over again. However, the victory lies in that we did not practice avoidance, but had the courage to be vulnerable and to try. So long as our source of self-worth and self-esteem lies in ourselves and from God, then rejections don’t have to take so much out of us.2024-07-2600 minHealing the UnresolvedSetting Boundaries as the Start of ForgivenessToday’s podcast answers a question from a husband and wife who are struggling with the toxic and abusive behavior of their in-laws. For many years, they thought that honoring one’s mother and father meant tolerating the abuse and striving to appease them. The husband and wife are now realizing that this is not sustainable and wanting to change, but are struggling with feelings of guilt that somehow they are not forgiving or honoring their parents. The truth is that the setting of boundaries and forgiveness go hand-in-hand.2024-07-1900 minHealing the UnresolvedAccepting the Life God has given UsToday’s podcast discusses various obstacles to practicing acceptance of our life and the present moment and how to resolve those obstacles. It’s very liberating and peaceful to come to the realization that it’s okay and safe to accept the present. It’s precisely then, that we have an open chapter before us, and to become quite deliberate with what we write in that empty space.2024-07-1200 minHealing the UnresolvedA Child in Adult Clothing: Resolving Age RegressionToday’s podcast speaks on the topic of age regressions. Some of our most profound moments of discomfort in our lives can occur when we are experiencing an age regression, in which we revert back to an earlier time in our life or developmental stage, as a result of stress, unmet needs, or life changes. Understanding this phenomenon, and how to resolve it, is the focal point of today’s topic.2024-07-0500 minHealing the UnresolvedLearning to Use the Magnification of Our Mind's EyeToday’s podcast discusses an essential skill that is needed for the healing work. When in counseling, one of the roles of the counselor is to help us see the larger things that are going on in our lives or what is really behind our struggles. However, we can learn to do this with ourselves as well. It is critical for the healing work and it is critical for our spiritual life. We can learn to use our mind’s eye as a microscope, to know when to zoom in and zoom out, in order to see what we need to s2024-06-2200 minHealing the UnresolvedWhen fear of abandonment threatens our relationshipsToday’s podcast answers a question from someone who fears that their struggles with attachment and abandonment will disrupt any future marriage. The idea of future relationships seems murky and intimidating. Today’s podcast focuses on how to reduce that murkiness and create clarity, goals, and clear direction moving forward into the arena of relationships.2024-06-0700 minHealing the UnresolvedWhen Our Growth Threatens our SpouseToday’s podcast answers a question from someone who’s trying to understand their spouse’s anger. Inevitably, all of us have projected or displaced emotions meant for ourselves onto our spouses.
Sometimes when we work our ourselves, admit our mistakes, apologize, it can remind our spouse of what they themselves might not be doing. Some spouses will consider this an invitation to improve themselves and step up, yet for some, it can have a very different effect. Trying to decipher what’s behind these interactions can be very difficult.2024-05-3100 minHealing the UnresolvedDepression as a Sign of HealthMany who struggle with depression carry shame and guilt over their depression. We might feel weak, inadequate, and even that we are being ungrateful. The reality is, that those who are the most healthy often will struggle with depression at some point, because of the dysfunction of others and because of the fallen world in which we live.2024-05-2400 minHealing the UnresolvedWhat the Resurrection Teaches us about the Healing of TraumaToday’s podcast discusses how the resurrection appearances are evidence that God does not abandon us to grief and loss. What modern day trauma research is telling us, God was already putting into practice in the aftermath of His betrayal crucifixion.2024-05-1800 minHealing the UnresolvedKnowing Our Attachment Style and Bringing Stability to our Ourselves and RelationshipsToday’s podcast explores an ever present reality when we struggle in relationships. That reality is the possibility that we are struggling with a disrupted attachment style. We all have a need for love and safety. When in early life, an early caregiver was not consistent in providing love and safety, it can create a template for how we perceive and function in relationships. Understanding our attachment style provides the healing path to resolution, stability, and peace.2024-05-1000 minHealing the UnresolvedWhen Hidden Anger Speaks in the Present: Learning to Know that Life is not that BadAnger is a difficult emotion to admit. This is especially true of anger that is rooted in deep, past experiences. To admit anger is to admit we are vulnerable and that we were hurt. There are social stigmas associated with anger. However, hidden anger reaches out into the present and often manifests itself in a sour, negative mood and in constant complaining. We can also try to mask anger as righteous indignation over imperfections in our present life and in others. Turning to, admitting, and accepting the presence of anger that is rooted in the past, will help us see...2024-04-2600 minHealing the UnresolvedI thought it was Love: Dealing with the Pain of Trauma BondingToday’s podcast answers questions pertaining to the pain of having been in a relationship where there was trauma bonding. Such a relationship can be so confusing, because with the painful abuse there were times of seemingly positive behavior. Also, when the person with whom we were trauma bonded passes away, it can lead to complicated grief. Navigating the confusion of trauma bonding is the focal point of today’s podcast.2024-04-1900 minHealing the UnresolvedWhen Running from Ourselves Makes Us Feel like We've RegressedToday's episode focuses on how late in the healing work we can feel like we have regressed if we begin to struggle again or have emotional discomfort. Often, it is normal life stress from the present. Sometimes also, it is because we are not allowing ourselves to have normal negative emotions, for fear of what that would mean.2024-04-1200 minHealing the UnresolvedConfronting our Inner Jonah: Facing the Healing Work, Time, and AgeToday’s podcast is a discussion about when we run and flee from God’s callings for us. We are all called to heal, and we are all called to cooperate with time and age. In all these areas we can practice avoidance and be like the prophet Jonah, who tried to run and flee from God‘s plan. When we do this, we only hurt ourselves and suffer more in the long run. Learning to be aware of and master our inner Jonah, can make life more peaceful.2024-04-0500 minHealing the UnresolvedWhen the Past Causes us to See our Spouse as UnsafeToday’s podcast answers the question of how can a husband and wife who both have trauma histories, stop the cycle of constantly inflicting pain on each other and triggering each other. How couples can make their worst hours their finest hours, is covered in the podcast.2024-03-2900 minHealing the UnresolvedWhen our Parish Work Makes us Resentful: Discovering and Resolving its OriginsToday’s podcast answers the question of what to do when we begin to feel resentful or taken advantage of in our parish. The discussion explore the possibilities of our situation being self-inflicted through enabling or us being taken advantage of. Often times it’s a combination of both, even when all involved are well intentioned. Discerning which one it is, and the solution, are discussed.2024-03-2200 minHealing the UnresolvedForgiving the Departed: They’ve Been There all AlongAs we approach Forgiveness Sunday, many of us are mindful of forgiving the living and seeking forgiveness from the living. However, what if we need to forgive the departed or are seeking forgiveness from them? Today’s podcast explores this topic, and explains the path to healing relationships with the departed.2024-03-1500 minHealing the UnresolvedFinding our Courage in the Face of ConflictToday’s podcast answers the question of how do we overcome our fear of conflict? No one really likes conflict. However, for some of us, it can have a paralyzing effect. If we were exposed to excessive and unhealthy upset and anger early in life, we can lose our confidence and feel powerless in the face of conflict in the present. Learning, and then unlearning, what we came to believe about ourselves as a result of other people’s upset, can lead us to finding our courage and confidence in resolving conflict.2024-03-0800 minHealing the UnresolvedThe Healing Power of the Divine LiturgyToday’s podcast answers the question of how can the Orthodox divine liturgy play a role in someone’s healing. Starting from the time one enters the interior space of the church, throughout the liturgy, and even in the post liturgy interactions, there are plenty healing opportunities. The podcast also discusses making sure that our participation in liturgy is healthy and healing.2024-03-0100 minHealing the UnresolvedWhen We didn’t Know Normal: Overcoming this Hidden Source of Chronic DoubtWhen our early life was deprived of the baseline of learning what is normal with regards to normal emotions, normal upset, and normal life changes, we can go through life feeling life we are missing our inner compass that tells us whats okay and what is normal in our present life. This can lead to chronic doubt and uncertainty. We can retrain ourselves and learn what is normal in the present, so that we have a more peaceful inner world.2024-02-2300 minHealing the UnresolvedBreaking Orbit: Healing from Giving Up our Identity for AnotherToday’s podcast addresses the question submitted by someone who suffered from narcissistic abuse. As a result of the dynamics of the relationship, they were left with a profound sense of shame. Understanding this kind of abuse is the first step in healing from it. In addition, long after the toxic relationship is over, we may perpetuate the abuse through how we relate with ourselves resulting in “shame spirals”.2024-02-1600 minHealing the UnresolvedCaught between Two Families: Which one do I parent?Today’s episode answers a question from an individual who is a parent and has their own healthy family, but in many ways is having to still parent their family of origin which has been dysfunctional. When this is a role that we have played for a long time, it is very confusing, and often we are saddled with guilt at making our present family our priority. Setting boundaries does not mean we are abandoning our family of origin. When we don’t set boundaries, we might be enabling our family of origin, so that they never truly grow up.2024-02-0900 minHealing the UnresolvedParenting from Afar: When our Adult Children get StuckToday’s podcast answers a question from a father who is greatly worried about his adult son. His son has reached a detour in his life and has been unable to move around it. His son also lives a significant distance away, which adds to the feelings of powerlessness. While has maintained great balance in his relationship with his son, he worries about him greatly, and seeks to know what he can do without making his son feel worse or causing him to pull away.2024-02-0200 minHealing the UnresolvedWhen People Disappoint: Staying Balanced and Maintaining the RelationshipToday’s podcast answers two questions. The first, pertains to how to proceed or cope when others are not able to be responsive to the deeper things we share with them. The second question pertains to the flexibility and malleability we need in setting boundaries.2024-01-2700 minHealing the UnresolvedEmbracing the Opportunity of Perceived Setbacks in the Healing Work.Today's podcast answers the question of why do setbacks occur in the healing work and how do we navigate the discouragement caused by them. The truth is, these are not setbacks at all, but rather opportunities. They are movement forward, not backward.2024-01-1900 minHealing the UnresolvedThe Nativity X-Ray of our SoulDuring these dark and short days of December, we are fortunate to have the nativity light. The nativity light acts as an x-ray on our soul and illuminates all that is missing, broken, and fallen. It reveals to us the areas that need to be addressed. It is during this time of year that the urge to restore and reconcile is at its strongest. It is also during this time of year that the human heart is the most ripe for reconciliation. We must take advantage of this time while the nativity light is still with us.2023-12-2200 minHealing the UnresolvedThe Robber of Gratitude and all that is Good: Identifying and Resolving Hypervigilance.Everyone at one time or another experiences a sour mood or just feeling very negative. We complain a lot, and feel like nothing is right. However, sometimes this can become chronic, which can be indicative that there is something else going on. One of the sources of this, that is not often discussed, is when we live in a state of hypervigilance. When we live in a state of hypervigilance we are never at rest, always on guard, and overlooking everything that is right in our life; because it is not relevant to our main mission of scanning our environment...2023-12-1600 minHealing the UnresolvedLetting Go of Avoidance: Bringing the Present and Future back OnlineIn today’s episode, we we do a deeper exploration of avoidance. Avoidance is very common, and is often employed in everyday life in a way that’s smart and helpful. However, when it comes to the avoidance that follows after painful experiences, we often end up avoiding too much and more than we need to. As a result, it costs us the more beautiful experiences of life, precisely the ones that can serve to heal us.2023-12-0800 minHealing the UnresolvedHealing When we are Alone in SicknessHow do we do the healing work if we are bedridden and have no one around us? Today’s episode focuses on utilizing our relationship with God and ourselves. So long as those two are intact, we can never be abandoned, and having those healing experiences can still happen.2023-12-0200 minHealing the UnresolvedHealing Work during the Nativity Light: Mending Relationships with both the Living and the Departed.When struggling with complicated grief, many of us may feel a sense of finality when our loved one departs this world. However, using the eyes of our faith we see that the relationship continues. The departed can still be part of our healing work. The relationship can continue to be healed, even though they have departed. Using the power and heightened sensitivity of the Nativity season, we can be even more productive in healing broken relationships, with both the living and the departed.2023-11-3000 minHealing the UnresolvedSilver Linings: When Pain Transfigures into GiftsThe silver linings of the healing work are many. One of the most beautiful truths, is that as we progress through the healing work, we get to keep all of the skills and gifts gained from our experience, but we leave behind all the pain and hurt. In other words, all the abilities and skills we learned as a result of our experience we don’t have to give up or turn in once we have healed. Indeed, the healing work truly transfigures.2023-11-1000 minHealing the UnresolvedThe Temptation of Busyness: Learning to Regain ControlMany have given into the belief that we just have busy lives and really have no other choice. We daily experience the effects of being on our heels and not being masters of the time that God has given us. We become stressed, overwhelmed, burned out, and develop a learned helplessness. There are many different factors that lead to us yielding to defeat in the face of the pace of this world. No one else is going to do it for us, we have to be the ones to exercise this healthy form of control and determine the pace of...2023-11-0400 minHealing the UnresolvedComplicated Grief: Grieving the Unfilled Parental RelationshipToday’s episode focuses on answering a question by someone who is struggling through complicated grief. Specifically, grieving the passing of an abusive parent.
Very often with complicated grief, we are not aware of what exactly we are grieving. So often, it is not what we think or realize.2023-10-2700 minHealing the UnresolvedMemory Makers: Don’t be the Jenga blockMost of us strive to be kind and understanding of others. However, in this distressed world we might not realize how much can be at stake. Those who suffer the most often suffer invisibly. When we have an interaction in which we were not at our best with someone we know, we can circle back and apologize and make things right. However, with strangers out in public, we often do not have that opportunity. As a result, perhaps there is little margin for error. We have the power to create positive memories or negative memories in others. When we are...2023-10-2100 minHealing the UnresolvedTurning off the Song of the Past so I can more Effectively Discern the PresentThis episode addresses a question that was submitted by an individual struggling with a spouse who has been severely lacking in empathy, engages in chronic gaslighting, and has shown self-centered behaviors. Being able to tell whether such behaviors are just personality or defensive and protective in nature is difficult. We might also burden ourselves with pressure to forgive right away. This becomes especially difficult when the marriage dynamics remind us of painful childhood dynamics that we were subjected to in our childhood. This episode discusses learning to put everything in the proper place, so we can make the best decisions...2023-10-0600 minHealing the UnresolvedNavigating an Abusive Parent: Knowing When We Have Done EnoughThere are few things more unnatural then having an abusive parent. It is a profound breakdown in so many ways. Children and adult children are left feeling confused, guilty, and yearning and looking for that normal parent relationship. Furthermore, we may be confused by the commandment to honor our mother and father. What does that look like when the parent is abusive? God does not want us to be abused. Learning to set boundaries is for the protection, salvation, and mercy of all involved.2023-09-2900 minHealing the UnresolvedWhen Life Doesn’t Cooperate: Addressing Trauma’s Unrealistic ExpectationsToday’s podcast addresses an issue that many people struggle with. As a result of traumatic or painful experiences, we often have unrealistic expectations for the rest of our lives. This can make it difficult for us to navigate and handle normal life disappointments, heartaches, changes, and losses. However, we have to reframe what these are to us; they are not the past happening again, and they are actually opportunities for us in our healing work.2023-09-2300 minHealing the UnresolvedChasing our Fathers: Knowing when to Stop Seeking the Missing Parts of our Parents in OthersMany of us may think that we have accepted that certain aspects of our relationships with our parents went unfulfilled. However, without realizing it, we may have a lifelong pattern of putting potential parent figures on a pedestal and seeking from others what we did not get in our parental relationships. This inevitably leads to profound moments of disillusionment and disappointment. We will need to stop chasing in the present, what our parents were not in the past. Once that window closes, and we have grown up, we can only meet those unmet needs throug our relationship with God and...2023-09-1200 minHealing the UnresolvedTaking the Blame: Spiritual Medicine or Spiritual Harm?When reading the church fathers, many often get confused about the concept of utilizing blaming ourselves, rather than seeing the wrong in the other person. It is important to be reminded that the church fathers often gave different spiritual prescriptions to different people, depending on where they were at in their spiritual life, their motives, and their life history. What is spiritual help to some could be spiritually destructive to others. How, if, and when the concept of self-blame should be employed, is explored in this podcast.2023-09-0100 minHealing the UnresolvedThe Life I Could Have Had: Navigating the “If Only’s”2023-08-2500 minHealing the UnresolvedSeeking Answers from God: Navigating the Pain of a StillbirthToday’s episode seeks to answer a question from a mother who suffered a stillbirth. It is difficult to have “why” questions when we cannot sit and dialogue back and forth directly with God. Knowing when to call off the search for the answer to a “why” question is difficult. Also, knowing what’s behind the why question (fears and assurances needed) is very critical. Inevitably, some of us are called to wait until we stand in the presence of God to understand why.2023-08-1800 minHealing the UnresolvedWhen Trauma or Past Pain Affects Our Prayer LifeToday’s podcast focuses on a question submitted by someone living the monastic life. It is common and normal when past pain from traumatic or profoundly painful experiences has an effect on our prayer life. We might feel that we have lost something, or that somehow spiritually we are going in the wrong direction, regressing, or even failing. It is very important to reframe these experiences, and to realize this is all part of the path forward, and that we are not experiencing an abandonment of grace. It is important to be merciful with ourselves and to allow there to be...2023-08-1100 minHealing the UnresolvedThe Trauma of Infidelity: Knowing when Time and Talking are not EnoughFinding out that our spouse has been unfaithful is devastating. However, many couples come through on the other side even stronger than they were before. Today’s episode focuses on a question that was submitted by an individual who has done all the work, and come through on the other side, but yet still has frustrating moments where they are hurled back into the past. Using the trauma treatment model, victims of infidelity can often find the peace and healing that has been elusive.2023-08-0500 minHealing the UnresolvedNavigating the Quiet AftermathToday’s podcast discusses something that most of humanity is ignoring. It is the subtle effects of the pandemic. It is precisely during the quiet aftermath of an intense experience that we tend to feel the effects. Telling ourselves a story and believing we can just sweep it under the proverbial rug, is not going to help us navigate the quiet aftermath; nor to regain much of what we had before those very trying years.2023-07-2800 minHealing the UnresolvedBringing God into our Healing Work: A Prayer and ActivityThe healing work is part of our spiritual life and very much an ascetical activity. Today’s podcast offers a prayer that any individual can use in their own healing work as well as a practical activity. Both the prayer and the activity will help increase the synergy between us and God in healing the unresolved.
"Lord, please heal my soul and help me to do my part in the healing work. Give me your Grace and the Holy Spirit, and fill that which I am lacking in. Please give me insights and self-awareness that lead to healing. Lord, cast ou...2023-07-2100 minHealing the UnresolvedFinding Acceptance: Rooting Out the Most Destructive of BeliefsWe all struggle with interactions, the behavior of ourselves and others, events, and life changes. However, all of these things are often worsened when we believe they mean some thing about us that they do not. Some examples of these beliefs are "I wasn't good enough," "I failed," and/or "I am weak or powerless." This particular phenomenon often occurs on an unconscious level and causes much disruption in our emotional, spiritual, and family lives. One could even argue that it is the most disruptive of all beliefs.2023-07-1400 minHealing the UnresolvedOver-Control: Finding Our Way OutToday’s discussion is about over-control. It is a relating and behavior pattern that is almost universally a product of traumatic and painful experiences. It is born from avoiding, at all costs, ever experiencing anything like what we did in the past. However, when we do this, we find no rest, no peace, and miss all of the beautiful things in our lives. It causes us to see threats where there are none. This is exhausting for both us and those around us. Reversing over-control can be difficult and very frustrating, however, there are real and concrete steps that we ca...2023-07-0700 minHealing the UnresolvedDignity: A companion of humility and necessity in the healing workMany are worried about asserting themselves, setting boundaries, and speaking up for themselves. Such behaviors are perceived by some as being prideful and not what God wants. In this episode the value and need for dignity is discussed and how it must be preserved and protected.2023-07-0100 minHealing the UnresolvedAnxiety: Is it our protective Ally or our Foe?Anxiety is often perceived very negatively. This negative perception of anxiety often aggravates it and makes us feel even more of it. Our Anxiety is simply trying to alert us to the perception of danger. However, in the end, it will listen to us, and is very flexible in the face of new perceptions.2023-06-2600 minHealing the UnresolvedWhen the Past Prevents Us from Living Out Our FaithFather Alexander Schmemann often talked and wrote about the benefits of our faith based worldview, which we receive upon baptism. Our faith-based worldview is to help us navigate our life in this world; to help us make sense of experiences, answer life’s questions, and navigate life stages. However, unresolved past experiences have the ability to block our faith-based worldview, as it causes us to respond to the past, rather than the present. In a future episode, we'll dive deeper into what the investigative process looks like to help us discover how we can more fully live out our faith.2023-06-0900 minHealing the UnresolvedThe Strained Sibling Relationship: Knowing When a Rescue Mission to the Past is NeededSome strained sibling relationships may indeed just be due to difficult personalities or differences in beliefs. However, very often the real cause is hidden hurts and resentments related to the family of origin. These hurts may be related to roles played, differences in perceptions of treatment, and overall lack of closure. When past pain surfaces in sibling relationships it often masks itself by being displaced on trivial issues in the present that result in years of not communicating or a sibling relationship that was never close. Choosing to let them work it out while hoping for the best or lending...2023-06-0200 minHealing the UnresolvedFinding God and Ourselves: Navigating the Emotional Space between Anger and HappinessIn this episode, the answer is discussed as to why we tend to feel more comfortable and able to express anger and happiness, but not other emotions. It is the emotional space between anger and happiness that holds our anxiety, fear, grief, sadness, and loss. Our society has deemed these areas to be forbidden territory. However, for those doing the healing work and seeking spiritual growth, it is the land of opportunity. It is in this space that we find depth of heart, courage, perception, and humility. It is in that emotional space that we truly become alive and truly...2023-05-2500 minHealing the UnresolvedTolerating uncomfortable emotions in the presentVery often, when doing the healing work, we forget that even though we have had negative and uncomfortable emotions tied to past painful experiences, we are still going to have normal negative feelings related to every day life stressors and changes. Without realizing it, we can associate negative emotion only with the past. And then when negative emotions do occur from the present, we feel like something is wrong or we must’ve missed something in our healing work. The healing work does not mean we will never feel uncomfortable again. It means that we can feel uncomfortable again, without be...2023-05-1900 minHealing the UnresolvedWhen Movies Resonate: Seeing our Pain in another’s StoryThis podcast centers around the question as to whether there are any movies that can be helpful in the healing process. Typically movies that resonate are helpful for us. This is because when we witness our pain or lack of closure in someone else’s story, it’s not as threatening, and so is able to get past our defenses and bring out emotion that previously had been held back. These moments can help us leapfrog in our healing work and be used to our advantage.2023-05-1200 minHealing the UnresolvedNavigating Painful Parish ExperiencesToday’s discussion involves a question in which the submitter of the question had a series of painful parish experiences that led to them feeling abandoned. It is always a difficult decision to decide whether to stay or move onto a different parish community. However, before we decide, we can explore and answer certain questions that will ensure we make a good decision and that will enhance our spiritual growth significantly.2023-05-0500 minHealing the UnresolvedWielding ForgivenessThis podcast episode answers two submitted questions, both involving forgiveness on some level. Whether it’s that we have to forgive ourselves, or making sure we truly have forgiven the other, God wants us to let go of our past weaknesses and focus on the present. He also wants our forgiveness to be real, and not just a result of denying reality and protecting ourselves from painful emotions.2023-04-2100 minHealing the UnresolvedWhen the Calendar Hurts: Navigating the Anniversary EffectAn anniversary reaction or effect is very common and affects most people at one time or another, and some are affected throughout their lives. The anniversary of a loss or painful event can be a challenging experience for many. Knowing what they are, being prepared for them, leaning into them, and using them to our advantage, can help make them tolerable, and even put them to rest.2023-03-2400 minHealing the UnresolvedSharing our Story, Safety, and Real ForgivenessThis episode discusses healthy ways to share our painful or traumatic experiences. It is also covers the importance of safety and how to rediscover safety in a health way after losing it in the aftermath of a painful or traumatic experience. Finally, the issue of trauma bonding is discussed. This occurs when we see the abuser as innocent or in an elevated way, while not giving ourselves the validation and empathy we need as the victim.2023-03-0800 minHealing the UnresolvedThe Healing Work as a valuable part of the Praxis of our FaithThis episode discusses how our healing work and our painful experiences are not separate or outside of our relationship with God and our faith, but rather an integral part of it. These experiences, which have been such a source of shame, can actually aid and accelerate our spiritual growth. There is also discussion on keeping shame out of the sacrament of Confession, as well as what to look for in a counselor.2023-02-0400 minHealing the UnresolvedTricking grief, rooting out shame, and a healing paradigmThis podcast episode discusses a helpful exercise to do when grief over our own experiences seems stuck, also rooting out shame by it’s source, and reviewing a paradigm of different approaches that fits well with our faith and that should cover all the healing work.2023-01-2000 min
Holistic Christian Life - Worshiping God - Mind, Body, SoulEP 175 - Fr. Joshua Makoul - Healing Your Wounded SoulCynthia and Father Joshua Makoul talk about healing from trauma, both past and present as they delve into his new book Healing Your Wounded Soul: Growing from Pain to Peace. What are the tools we can use? How can we help others? If you are struggling right now or know someone who is, this interview could be very helpful. To enroll in the Effortless Will in Action Course, use WILL50OFF for 50% off! https://www.teamforthesoul.com/offers/sU6dRWQC/checkout Fr. Joshua Makoul has been serving as the Dean of St. George Cat...2023-01-0352 minHealing the UnresolvedSelf-denial and self-acceptance: a peaceful and necessary coexistenceThis podcast episode discusses much of the confusion and fears about the concepts of self acceptance and self compassion. The discussion highlights that self acceptance and self compassion are both very necessary for healing and for our spiritual lives. Practicing both self denial and self acceptance provides balance and stability to every aspect of our lives.2022-12-2700 minHealing the UnresolvedWhen the Past ReappearsIn this episode, Fr. Joshua addresses questions on loss, abandonment, and broken relationships. Many of us experience fear and anxiety on some level, but this is often from perceived threats and difficulty tolerating uncertainty. Often, our past wounds will reappear in the present and we must find a way to fully grieve, and fully heal, in order to move forward. As we head into the season of the Nativity, it's a time to focus on reconciliation and healing.2022-11-1000 minHealing the UnresolvedWhen the Past ReappearsIn this episode, Fr. Joshua addresses questions on loss, abandonment, and broken relationships. Many of us experience fear and anxiety on some level, but this is often from perceived threats and difficulty tolerating uncertainty. Often, our past wounds will reappear in the present and we must find a way to fully grieve, and fully heal, in order to move forward. As we head into the season of the Nativity, it's a time to focus on reconciliation and healing.2022-11-1000 minHealing the UnresolvedHolding on to HopeIn this episode, Fr. Joshua addresses questions on trauma in the Church, divorce, and alcoholism. While we may become guarded due to our own woundedness, we must never turn in on ourselves in self-reliance. It is a strength to reach out for help - and it will ultimately aid us in our spiritual growth. In all of these issues, there is always hope for a fresh start, a hope to continue on the path of salvation. Our prayers, surrounding all of these difficult issues, must be rooted in hope, not control. We can turn to God and ask for a...2022-10-2800 minHealing the UnresolvedHolding on to HopeIn this episode, Fr. Joshua addresses questions on trauma in the Church, divorce, and alcoholism. While we may become guarded due to our own woundedness, we must never turn in on ourselves in self-reliance. It is a strength to reach out for help - and it will ultimately aid us in our spiritual growth. In all of these issues, there is always hope for a fresh start, a hope to continue on the path of salvation. Our prayers, surrounding all of these difficult issues, must be rooted in hope, not control. We can turn to God and ask for a...2022-10-2800 minHealing the UnresolvedDealing with TraumaFr. Joshua begins his new podcast by answering submitted questions on the subject of trauma and how to heal from it within the context of Orthodox Christianity. If you have a question for Fr. Joshua, please email him via the "Send Feedback" link.2022-10-2000 minHealing the UnresolvedDealing with TraumaFr. Joshua begins his new podcast by answering submitted questions on the subject of trauma and how to heal from it within the context of Orthodox Christianity. If you have a question for Fr. Joshua, please email him via the "Send Feedback" link.2022-10-2000 min