Shows
My Top EverythingTop 3 Pants-Sh**ting StoriesHey, I think we're going to have to pull off at the next exit. No, it's number twooOOOOo OMG PULL OVER NOW I'M GONNA - 💩Sorry listeners that are on a road trip, the last thing we want is for you, like us, to lose your fading grip on your bowels and sully your pantaloons! This week, our courageous hosts bare it ALL with stories about sh**ting their pants. No subtext, no metaphors, if you proceed with listening to this episode, do so with the full understanding of what you're heading into.Follow us @MyT...2025-07-221h 00
My Top EverythingTop 3 Summer Activities🌞🌦️👗👒 OHHHH IT'S SUMMER TIME, BABY! Oh, you're telling me it's been summer for over a month? DON'T CARE, late, great, and looking to date is how we ROLL! Join us this week as we talk about our asbolute favorite, top, prime summer activities. Some of them may not be as you expect!Follow us @MyTopEverything on Insta for updates! Email us at mytopeverythingpodcast@gmail.com with topic suggestions, comments, or questions. We're on Bluesky now! Join the conversation at @mytopeverything.com on Bluesky and at /r/MyTopEverything on Reddit.2025-07-0837 minMy Top EverythingTop 3 Irrational Things That Overwhelm UsI know you're reading this on an iPhone or Android device right now. Have you ever gone behind enemy lines, fraternized with the devil and tried to use the other one? Did you thusly throw that device straight into a wall or phone, run to a nearby couch, and scream into a pillow??Then YOU might be just as neurotic as we are! Join us this week as we scream at each other about what "irrational" really means and try to get in the heads of each other and our listeners, exploring the bleeding edge of our...2025-06-2448 min
My Top EverythingTop 3 Sounds That Give Me the IckThe Ick™ /ˈɪk/ nounUsed to describe a feeling of disgust that arises usually after a specific, often trivial, behavior. Or SOUNDS in the case of this weeks episode! (Thank you, Wikipedia, for the definition).What sounds give our brave hosts the ick? What parasitic soundwaves reverse kick them right in the Misophonia? Listen and find out whether or not we scream and leave the restaurant when someone touches a Styrofoam to-go box just like you.Follow us @MyTopEverything on Insta for updates! Email us at mytopeverythingpodcast@gmail.com with topic suggestions, comments, or q...2025-06-1058 minMy Top EverythingTop 3 Best Stories of Us🎶MACY GRAY, SAVE US!!!🎶Today we take a break from our usual format, gather around the digital campfire, and tell our top 3 stories of US! No, not the United States, but WE, the co-hosts of the pod. Have we made ourselves clear? Do you understand now? Listen to this episode and bask in the blinding light of clarity.➡️Also, go to the National Mustard Museum if you're in Wisconsin! https://mustardmuseum.com/Follow us @MyTopEverything on Insta for updates! Email us at mytopeverythingpodcast@gmail.com with topic suggestions, comments, or questions. We're on Bluesky no...2025-05-2752 minMy Top EverythingTop 3 Secretly Toxic TV CouplesHere at My Top Everything, we know you've been in a bad relationship. Maybe there were red flags you missed or actively chose to ignore, or maybe things were a little more subtle and only your friends and family could actually see the truth: You were in a secretly toxic relationship, entertaining the rest of us behind your back while you suffered your insufferable partner (or perhaps they suffered you). WHICH MEANS YOU, DEAR LISTENER have a lot in common with the secretly toxic TV couples that we deliver the antidote for this week.What d...2025-05-1358 minMy Top EverythingTop 3 Most Excrutiating Forms of ExerciseExercising is the worst, but what's the WORST of the worst? Join us this week as we dive deep and try to identify the most painful, terrible, miserable ways to stay fit and healthy. Have you ever passed out during yoga? Fallen from the top of a bouldering wall? Stood in a line for too long? What are YOUR most painful forms of exercise?Follow us @MyTopEverything on Insta for updates! Email us at mytopeverythingpodcast@gmail.com with topic suggestions, comments, or questions.2025-04-2946 minMy Top EverythingTop 3 Things I Did During Our HiatusWhat have we been up to in the 9 months when we weren't recording? Find out what we did with our gestation period that could've grown a full human baby. Broached topics: Podcast Edging, Everything's On the Table, Wittle Whittlers, Bird Straws, Worker Bees Want Work, Mara's Pet Dead Desk Fly, Where is Prairie Du Chein?, WE SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN ECON DEGREES, daily sleepovers, and Cara's Big Headstand of 2024!Follow us @MyTopEverything on Insta for updates! Email us at mytopeverythingpodcast@gmail.com with topic suggestions, comments, or questions.2025-04-1526 minMy Top EverythingTop 3 Pranks I've Done Since We Decided to Restart RecordingIt's been a hot minute, but we're back! Or are we? In honor of April Fool's, we'd like to share our Top 3 Pranks We've Done Since We Decided to Start Recording Again. Follow us @MyTopEverythingPodcast on Insta for updates! Email us at mytopeverythingpodcast@gmail.com with topic suggestions, comments, or questions.2025-04-0138 min
My Top Everything(PART 2) Top 3 Cults I Could Be Swindled Into JoiningIf there's one episode you won't want to miss, it's this one. We start off by responding to a VERY interesting letter that may or may not make the case as to why a certain organization is cultlike. AND we saved our best picks for our #1 spots, including cults we've stumbled into during our early 20s. Broached topics include: Media Officers Seem Like Police Officers, How To Become A Supreme Leader, Convenient Methods for Joining Cults, Assistant to The Supreme Topper, and a special made up cult that has never been seen before in reality ever.Follow...2024-06-2043 min
My Top EverythingTop 3 Cults I Could Be Swindled Into Joining - Part 1Some of us had an easier time than others thinking of cults we might just join. But we're not examining what that means! We talked about cults for so long, we had to break this episode into two parts. Broached topics include: Alien Scientists, Our Cult Family Name, Can You Trust PETA's Website, Running for the Hills Naked, and iPhone vs. Android. Follow us @MyTopEverything on Insta for updates! Email us at mytopeverythingpodcast@gmail.com with topic suggestions, comments, or questions.2024-06-0450 minMy Top EverythingTop 3 Embarrassing High School MomentsBoy Howdy! Buckle yourselves in for a wild ride as we brave the depths of high school and relive our most embarrassing moments.*** If you're an adult who knew us during this time, please, skip the first twenty or so minutes of this podcast. It involves periods. Broached topics include: Post-Hand Embarrassment, How to Insert a Tampon, Asking Boys to Dance, Creepy Teachers, The Pain of Existing at 15, Psychotic Girl Crushes, and Periods, Period. Follow us @MyTopEverything on Insta for updates! Email us at mytopeverythingpodcast@gmail.com with topic suggestions, comments, or questions. ***the...2024-05-111h 02My Top EverythingTop 3 Vacation Pet PeevesAs summertime approaches, we review our biggest pet peeves while on vacation. Join us as we recount our most annoying moments on vacation and try not to name actual names. Watch us perform mental gymnastics as we complain about what pretty much everyone would complain about! Broached topics include: How to Form a Habit, Cara's Sugar High Horse, Mara Starting Shit, Lines and More Lines, WHAT'S THE PLAN vs. TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT, and finally, a Clear Winner.Follow us @MyTopEverything on Insta for updates! Email us at mytopeverythingpodcast@gmail.com with topic suggestions, c...2024-04-231h 01
My Top EverythingTop 3 Unique Ways To PaintIt's Autism Awareness Month! Our high school friend Tyler, founder of the Barefoot Autism Challenge, suggested that we talk about unique ways to paint in honor of this month's theme, Barefoot Art. Broached topics include: Is Art Physical?, Painting with Pets, Collecting the Blood of Your Friends, the Trajectory of Horse Tail Swishes, and What IS Microsoft Paint? Follow us @MyTopEverything on Insta for updates! Email us at mytopeverythingpodcast@gmail.com with topic suggestions, comments, or questions.2024-04-0455 minMy Top EverythingTop 3 Animals I'd Like to be Turned IntoIt's time for a topic that is discussed at 4th grade lunch tables across America: what animal would you want to be turn into? Mara discovers she wants to be kept. Marian goes for the land, air, and water trifecta. Cara gets freaky with butt juice and polygamy. Join us as we argue over which animal would give us the best life. Follow us @MyTopEverything on Insta for updates! Email us at mytopeverythingpodcast@gmail.com with topic suggestions, comments, or questions.2024-03-201h 11My Top EverythingMy Top Ethical DilemmaJust 3 best friends coming up with excruciating ethical dilemmas in order to give us sound bytes that would definitely tank us should we run for office ten years from now. Join us as we discuss cheating, murder, trolleys, organs, and vegetarians.Follow us @MyTopEverything on Insta for updates! Email us at mytopeverythingpodcast@gmail.com with topic suggestions, comments, or questions.2024-02-2054 minMy Top EverythingTop 3 Worst Baby Boy NamesJust 3 best friends unilaterally judging all baby boy names, as is our God-given right. Topics of interest: A Million New Year Updates, Hypermasculine Baby Boys, Marian vs. Insta Influencers, Mara Makes It Personal, Bad Nicknames, Bullies, and Is Adolf a Cop Out?Follow us @MyTopEverything on Insta for updates! Email us at mytopeverythingpodcast@gmail.com with topic suggestions, comments, or questions.2024-02-021h 07
My Top EverythingTop 3 Resolutions for 2024We're ringing in the New Year with our top resolutions we'd like to achieve before the year-end. Some of us have long, laborious goals; others, a headstand that they believe will take ten days to master. Broached topics: The Height of the Stakes, #ChangeOurPodToMET, How To Intro a Podcast, Mentally in 2024, Pepper Farms Remembers, HOW TO SEARCH TIKTOK, Annual Nipple Stares, The Point of a Political Conversation, The Length of A Resolution, Inflation is Robbery, Laundry or Dishes?, Mara's Bodily Functions 1-3, and Can Resolutions Be Cocky?Follow us @MyTopEverythingPodcast on Insta for updates! Email us at...2024-01-121h 05My Top EverythingTop 3 Animated FilmsEveryone loves a good animated film. Some of us even love not-so-good animated films. Luckily, our childhood best friend Mackenzie is with us to set the record straight on ALL animated films, because she's pretty much seen every single one in existence. See what films made her long list below!Follow Mackenzie @macatzie and us @MyTopEverythingPodcast on Insta for updates! Email us at mytopeverythingpodcast@gmail.com with topic suggestions, comments, or questions.2023-12-291h 15
My Top EverythingTop 3 Spookiest PlacesIt's a month late due to technical difficulties, but here's our Halloween-themed episode! Join us as we discuss the spookiest places we've ever been or hope to never be caught dead in. Broached subjects: The Purpose of Radar Guns, Who is Bloody Mary?, Spooky v. Scary (a Supreme Court case), WindowGate, Yoinks!, and A Man's Opus.Follow us at @MyTopEverythingPodcast on Insta for updates! Email us at mytopeverythingpodcast@gmail.com with topic suggestions, comments, or questions.2023-12-011h 09
My Top EverythingTop 3 Distractions I'm Thankful ForMara is on hiatus but don't worry, we've brought twice the fun to make up for it! Guest BFFs, Lucas and Grayson (formerly known as our producer), join us for our Thanksgiving-themed episode to talk about the distrations we're most thankful for this year. Broached subjects: Grace isn't that bad, "real" dating shows like Love Is Blind, America's Greatest Airplane Pasttime, Are Hobbies Distractions?, The Power of Weed, Uncomfortable Silences, and pets, pets, PETS.Follow us at @MyTopEverything on Insta for updates! Email us at mytopeverythingpodcast@gmail.com with topic suggestions, comments, or questions.2023-11-161h 03
My Top EverythingTop 3 Monsters That Could Make a Marriage LastMonsters may not seem like the optimal marriage candidates, but we're here to prove you wrong. Let us sell you on our eligible bachelors, bachelorettes, and bachelorthems! Broached subjects: Cara and The Seat of Her Pants, Ray Romano is OK (for now), are henchmen good spouses?, and Groot the Alien Monster. Follow us at @MyTopEverything on Insta for updates! Email us at mytopeverythingpodcast@gmail.com with topic suggestions, comments, or questions.2023-10-131h 08My Top EverythingTop 3 Worst Topics for a First DateSome of us have been on many, many first dates. Too many to count. Others, just a handful - not because we're losers! But because we're not shameful promiscuous hoes like Mara and Cara. Join us as we list the worst topics to bring up on a first date. Broached subjects: burn my Kindle when I die, BookTok, crazy enneagram girls, CHIPS WITHOUT DIP?!?, "the divorce," Tonks and her flesh prison, promotional human teeth, the pointlessness of sports, proper vacuuming time length, Do I Like You or Do I Like Me?, don't let Marian know you have v...2023-09-2759 minMy Top EverythingTop 3 Geological MysteriesGeology is full of mysteries that scientists are still trying to figure out today. Join us as we talk about our favorites. Broached topics: upside-down cups vs. columns, Mushrooms: The Perfect Shape, PCR Inventor Is Definitely Still Alive, erosion, erosion, erosion, Marian hates geology & astronomy sucks too, the power of pocket gophers, do we know why earthquakes happen?, Geology is Sexy, magma gophers, and Mara's personal hell. Follow us at @MyTopEverything on Insta for updates! Email us at mytopeverythingpodcast@gmail.com with topic suggestions, comments, or questions.2023-08-261h 15My Top EverythingTop 3 Niche Jobs I'd Do (If They Paid Well)We're joined by one of our best childhood friends, Anna, as we explore jobs we'd do if they actually paid well. Broached topics: pussona, carte blanche, bangs & banging, jobs for youngest children, Anna's Goldilocks Mountain, I Love You... BUT, North Korean bereavement comedians, Mousegate, federal crimes in spying, A Job Is An Exchange Mara!, vegan taste testing, board game hitmen, and rigged points.Follow us at @MyTopEverything on Insta for updates! Email us at mytopeverythingpodcast@gmail.com with topic suggestions, comments, or questions.2023-08-121h 18My Top EverythingTop 3 Worst Baby Girl NamesApologies for the gender-centric subject of this episode. We'll be sure to roast neutral baby names and baby boy names in the future. Broached topics: genital shirts, lobbing it out of the park, Cambian parks, top 50 friends, LadyBirding, quoches, Name Your Daughters Vulva!, cat butthole, pretty diseases, Look it Up or Make it Up, Guess What Mara Means, b-r-o-c-c-o-l-i, George Foreman VI, and the purpose of non-Bible names? Follow us at @MyTopEverything on Insta for updates! Email us at mytopeverythingpodcast@gmail.com with topic suggestions, comments, or questions.2023-07-261h 09My Top EverythingTop 3 Archrivals In My LifeWhether it's the toaster that burns every slice no matter the setting, the spider that resides in the corner of our living room, or that one traffic light that always seems to change red when we're running late, we all engage in daily battles with various nemeses. In the podcast, you'll learn ours so that if you ever see us IRL, you can annoy us endlessly. Broached topics: selling our souls through ASMR, starting a pod sans Cara, the difficulty of the word archrival, tarps, Grayson the listmaker, ocean water siphoning, rivers leading to oceans??, long lawn = no bueno...2023-07-131h 16My Top EverythingTop 3 Most Annoying TV LeadsThere are a lot of frustrating TV main characters out there, but these ones really get our goat. And for the first time ever, all three of us have the same person on our list. It's a very special occasion for an especially frustrating lead! Honorable mentions include: 1. Larry David, Curb Your Enthusiam 2. George Costanza (aka Larry David), Seinfeld 3. Seinfeld, Seinfeld 4. Raymond, Everybody Loves Raymond, 5. The King from King of Queens, 6. The King from King of the HillFollow us at @MyTopEverything on Twitter and Insta...2023-06-231h 01My Top EverythingTop 3 Ghost EncountersTake a walk on the spooky side this week as we discuss our top 3 *mostly* personal experiences with the paranormal. Strap in for an hour of ghosts, phantoms, mimics, and poltergeists and we'll see if we can make you believe.Follow us at @MyTopEverything on Twitter and Insta for updates! Email us at mytopeverythingpodcast@gmail.com with topic suggestions, comments, or questions.2023-06-081h 13My Top EverythingTop 3 Panic AttacksWe immediately regretted picking panic attacks as a topic. On the plus side, this episode features amusing hiking stories, tattoos, and general existential dread. Follow us at @MyTopEverything on Twitter and Insta for updates! Email us at mytopeverythingpodcast@gmail.com with topic suggestions, comments, or questions.2023-05-191h 07
My Top EverythingTop 3 Worst Tasting VegetablesWhat even are vegetables? Turns out, we're not so sure. We thought this was going to be a 40 minute episode, tops. Unexpectedly, we have a lot of feelings about radishes, tubers, whether legumes qualify, if vegetables exist, and red leaf lettuce.Follow us at @MyTopEverything on Twitter and Insta for updates! Email us at mytopeverythingpodcast@gmail.com with topic suggestions, comments, or questions.2023-05-041h 19My Top EverythingTop 3 Worst Things I've Witnessed A Child DoWhat are the worst things we've witnessed a kid do? Turns out for Mara, not much. A mild jump scare makes Mara's top 3, Cara watches kids accidentally hurt themselves a lot, and Marian once took care of a serial-killer-to-be. Surprisingly, no one mentions that Marian poops her pants in this episode.If what you heard about Camp Hantesa from Cara in this episode and it sounds like something you want to support, head on over to https://www.campfireiowa.org/support/donate/.Follow us at @MyTopEverything on Twitter and Insta for updates! Email us at...2023-04-201h 03My Top EverythingTop 3 Things I Would Do WITH A Million DollarsIn our last episode, we each earned a million dollars by doing something crazy. Now, find out what each of us are going to do with our newfound fortunes! Listen on to hear about fan-fics, mustard, and cattle.If what you heard about Camp Hantesa from Cara in this episode sounds like something you want to support, head on over to https://www.campfireiowa.org/support/donate/ to let them know it!Follow us at @MyTopEverything on Twitter and Insta for updates! Email us at mytopeverythingpodcast@gmail.com with topic suggestions, comments, or questions.2023-04-0649 minMy Top EverythingTop 3 Things I Would Do For A Million DollarsIn this podcast, we answer what's been on every listener's minds... what would we do for a million dollars? If you want to hear about anechoic chambers, Walden, and stray cat stew, then listen on. Follow us at @MyTopEverything on Twitter and Insta for updates! Email us at mytopeverythingpodcast@gmail.com with topic suggestions, comments, or questions.2023-03-301h 05My Top EverythingTop 3 Conspiracies I Think Could Be RealWhat are our Top 3 conspiracies we think could be true? Turns out Cara believes in nothing, Mara thinks a lot about dinosaurs, and Marian is suspicious of celebrities. Follow us on Twitter at @MyTopEverything for updates and to join the conversation! Email us at mytopeverythingpodcast@gmail.com with topic suggestions, comments, questions, or sponsor offers.2023-03-021h 10My Top EverythingTop 3 Pet PeevesWhat are our Top 3 pet peeves? We start off strong so if you don’t like bathroom talk you’ll want to head straight to minute 14.Pet Peeve Honorable Mentions, so you can make sure NEVER TO DO THESE EVER AGAIN AROUND US: Unglazed pots and pans Loud crunching, chewing, or humming while eating Improper use or omission of the Oxford Comma No prices listed on food menus For that matter, no prices listed for mechanics, veterinarians, or hospitals Picking or splitting one’s split ends People who don’t listen People who ask “are you listening”...2023-02-1653 min
My Top EverythingTop 3 Irrational FearsCome along on a scary carnival ride with us as we face our most irrational and terrifying fears.Follow us on Twitter at @mytopeverything2023-02-021h 00
My Top EverythingTop 5 Hotties Without Human BodiesWho are the top 5 cartoon characters we’d date AND take home to our parents? This one’s a wild ride so buckle in!Follow us on Twitter at @mytopeverything2023-01-201h 02