Shows
Escape From Vault DisneyDeion's Double PlayIn this episode, just in time for the World Series and a new football season, the randomizer goes all the way back to 2019 to pick the first ESPN "30 For 30" sports documentary we've ever had to cover on this podcast! Specifically, a documentary about multi-hyphenate 90s superstar athlete Deion Sanders, aka "Prime Time," which is a nickname he gave himself, presumably for reasons. Sanders gained fame for playing professional baseball AND football at the same time, and once in October 1992, he attempted to play in an NFL game in between two postseason MLB games in a different state, all within...2024-10-241h 03
Escape From Vault DisneyDelicacies Destiny - Episode One In this episode, we return following an unanticipated long hiatus as the randomizer goes all the way back to 2022 to pick the first episode of a Chinese romantic comedy streaming series from China's video-sharing site Bilibili. In this period piece set during the Ming Dynasty, we follow a woman's journey from humble beginnings to her position as head chef for the crown prince at the imperial palace, all while the show's aesthetics combine mouth-watering culinary footage, Hanna-Barbera sound effects and jokes about turning kidnappers into eunuchs until it gets to the point where you really have to wonder, "what...2024-08-2341 min
Escape From Vault DisneyMINISODE! What Would Walt Have Done?-Era Movies NOT on Disney+!DISCLAIMER: This minisode was recorded and released prior to the arrest of one of its guests, Kyle Carrozza. We at Escape From Vault Disney strongly condemn Mr. Carrozza's actions and offer our deepest sympathies to his victims, and we will not be inviting him on this podcast again in the future. That said, rather than attempt to rewrite history, we have decided to leave this episode online and intact as a time capsule of when it was made. In this special minisode, we combine the last two theme "months" together by assembling eighteen regular guests to give...2024-06-1915 min
Escape From Vault DisneyFrankenweenie (1984)This week, for our first of two Halloween episodes of the year, the randomizer goes all the way back to 1984 to cover one of the earliest live-action efforts of a rising young talent by the name of Tim Burton, who in this landmark early work explored many of the very same themes and motifs that would later become ubiquitous in his filmography, including the juxtaposition of mundane suburban life with horror-fantasy tropes, the celebration of misunderstood outsiders over bland conformists, and of course cool-looking German expressionist gothic art design absolutely slathered all over the screen. At the time it...2023-10-181h 03
Escape From Vault DisneyWillow (1988) This week we're bypassing the randomizer for yet another Guest's Choice episode, in which our good friend Haley Baker Callahan makes us watch a Lucasfilm classic from 1988, in which George Lucas finally gets fed up with sci-fi purists decrying Star Wars as "more of a fantasy" and says "Oh, you want a fantasy? I'll give you a fantasy!" And because everyone in the 80s knew for a fact that Lord of the Rings would never ever ever be a live-action movie, George instead threw together a buncha swords, sorcery and other sword-and-sorcery tropes, cast Wicket W. Warrick and Nick...2023-02-151h 12Escape From Vault DisneyBehind the Attraction S1E8 - It's A Small World This week, the randomizer goes all the way back to 2021 to once again cover a Disney+ original documentary series all about, what a shocker, just how awesome Disney is at doing the things Disney does! This time, it talks about that one time all the countries in the world converged on Flushing Meadows in Queens, and Walt Disney, Pepsi-Cola, the "No Wire Hangers" lady, a team of exhausted overworked Imagineers and of course the songwriters of "Pineapple Princess" all combined efforts to show those countries of the world, "here's what we think you'd look like if you were all...2023-02-081h 04Escape From Vault DisneyDr. K's Exotic Animal ER S3E4 - Operations Skunk This week, the randomizer goes all the way back to 2016 to pick exactly what all my most dedicated listeners tune in to this podcast to hear, ANOTHER DAMN NATGEO SHOW! For the second week in a row. Hey, don't thank the randomizer, it's just doing its very stupid job. This particular NatGeo show is a reality show all about the veterinarians working at a Florida animal hospital that specializes in caring for exotic animals, which basically means "literally any animal that can fit through the door that isn't a dog or a cat unless it's the main vet's dad's...2022-11-3035 minEscape From Vault DisneySecrets of the Bull Shark This week, the randomizer goes all the way back to 2020 to pick one of the roughly nine zillion NatGeo documentaries on Disney+ all about sharks! Yes, sharks, those oft-maligned predators of the deep who were the subject of exactly one really good movie almost fifty damn years ago and the general public is still inexplicably fascinated with them, even though unless you're a fish, you're statistically more likely to get killed by a falling vending machine than a shark. So I guess the real question is, where's Spielberg's suspenseful masterpiece about falling vending machines? Screw The Fabelmans, get that...2022-11-2341 min
Escape From Vault DisneyBeverly Hills Chihuahua: The 100th Episode Spectacular! DISCLAIMER: This episode was recorded and released prior to the arrest of one of its guests, Kyle Carrozza. We at Escape From Vault Disney strongly condemn Mr. Carrozza's actions and offer our deepest sympathies to his victims, and we will not be inviting him on this podcast again in the future. That said, rather than attempt to rewrite history, we have decided to leave this episode online and intact as a time capsule of when it was made. IT'S THE ESCAPE FROM VAULT DISNEY 100TH EPISODE SPECTACULAR!!! That's right, this objectively very stupid podcast where grown-ass adults whine about...2022-10-121h 55Escape From Vault DisneyMan of the HouseThis week we're bypassing the randomizer for yet another Guest's Choice episode, in which our good friend Charlie Callahan inexplicably throws away the one and only Guest's Choice episode he'll ever get on a deservedly-obscure Disney "comedy" from 1995 that's equal parts boring and racist, in which Chevy Chase doesn't get to be a jerk, Jonathan Taylor Thomas doesn't get to be likeable, George Wendt doesn't get to be funny and Farrah Fawcett has to pretend to be into Chevy Chase despite looking like Farrah Fawcett. It's a complete waste of everyone's time, especially ours! Join Tony Goldmark, Charlie Callahan...2022-07-061h 15Escape From Vault DisneyStrange MagicThis week, as Tony returns from his impromptu hard drive crash-induced mini-hiatus, the randomizer goes all the way back to 2015 to pick the last movie (as of now) that the legendary George Lucas was personally involved with, an animated fairy tale with a story by Lucas himself combining his love of mythic fantasy with his penchant for subversive genre fusion...only this time, for some bizarre reason he combined the plots and/or aesthetics of Beauty and the Beast, Ferngully, Mamma Mia! and various Labyrinth fanfics. Yeah, this one didn't exactly get a holiday special. Join Tony Goldmark, Charlie...2022-06-291h 07
Escape From Vault DisneyMiles From Tomorrowland S2E16 - Once In A Blue Moon/The Queen Gemma Dilemma (with Ron Schneider!)It's still PARKS MONTH on Escape From Vault Disney! And for our second week of Parks Month, the randomizer in its infinite wisdom goes all the way back to 2015 to make us watch an episode of a Disney Junior series with an in-name-only parks connection, depicting a harsh dystopian future of robo-ostriches, gaseous blob-monsters and ruthless dancing space-dictators, where every five seconds someone has to attempt a dumb catchphrase just to survive. Join Tony Goldmark, Charlie Callahan, Haley Baker Callahan and very special guest Ron Schneider as they travel several MILES FROM TOMORROWLAND, season two, episode sixteen, "Once In A...2022-03-0948 minEscape From Vault DisneyHawkeye S1E6 - So This Is Christmas? This week, the randomizer goes all the way back to December 2021 to cover the season-or-possibly-series finale of Marvel's latest Disney+ show, in which they realize they're finally down to the last of the original six OG Avengers and say "Screw it, let's just do a show about the bow-and-arrows guy." Join Tony Goldmark, Charlie Callahan, Haley Baker Callahan and Zach Hurst as they take aim at HAWKEYE, season one, episode six, "So This Is Christmas?" SPOILER WARNING: Contains (obviously) major spoilers for all six episodes of Hawkeye, as well as minor-to-medium spoilers for Black Widow, Shang-Chi and the...2022-02-161h 05Escape From Vault DisneyFancy Nancy: Fancy It Yourself shorts This week, the randomizer goes all the way back to 2019 to cover a series of Disney Junior interstitial shorts bold enough to combine the cheap animation and insipid writing of a pre-school show with the insufferable egotism of a YouTube lifestyle vlog. Proceed at your own peril. Join Tony Goldmark, Charlie Callahan, Haley Baker Callahan and Zach Hurst as they neither like, share nor subscribe to the FANCY NANCY: FANCY IT YOURSELF shorts! VOTE NOW on what this year's Theme Month should be! https://twitter.com/efvdpodcast/status/1490596162499321859 Check out my guests' stuff! CHARLIE C...2022-02-1046 min
Escape From Vault DisneyViking Warrior Women This week, the randomizer goes all the way back to 2019 to make us watch everyone's favorite kind of Disney+ branded content, a NatGeo special! Fun. Specifically, a special that answers the question, "How do we take the inherently interesting topic of badass female Viking warriors and somehow turn it into the most boring sludge of meaningless CSI and Diet David Fincher aesthetics you've ever tried to stay awake through?" Leave it to NatGeo! Join Tony Goldmark, Haley Baker Callahan, Ryan Hipp and Jen Seggio as they battle some VIKING WARRIOR WOMEN! Check out my guests' stuff! ...2021-11-0348 min
Escape From Vault DisneyFerdinand It's our final week of Patreon Request Month 2021, and the randomizer's going all the way back to 2017 to pick Troy Lundquist's request for an animated feature from the gone-but-not-forgotten Blue Sky Studios, a timeless fable about the virtues of individualism and pacifism in a cruel, heartless, endlessly competitive world where conformity is normalized and life is disposable. Also there's a scene where a bull twerks. Join Tony Goldmark, Charlie Callahan, Haley Baker Callahan and Cassie Shima as they pick up shovels and clean up after FERDINAND! Check out my guests' stuff! CHARLIE CALLAHAN Twitter: h...2021-09-291h 01
Escape From Vault DisneySuper Robot Monkey Team Hyperforce Go! S1E11 - Ape New World It's Week #4 of Patreon Request Month 2021, and the randomizer's going all the way back to 2004 to pick Eric Ortiz's request for a randomly-selected first season episode of that show we already covered a couple months ago about going to force some sort of hyper team of monkey robots into being super. Join Tony Goldmark, Charlie Callahan, Haley Baker Callahan and Cassie Shima as they try to remember the name SUPER ROBOT MONKEY TEAM HYPERFORCE GO! season one, episode eleven, "Ape New World!" Check out my guests' stuff! CHARLIE CALLAHAN Twitter: https://twitter.com/ThemeSnark 2021-09-2341 min
Escape From Vault DisneyPixar Popcorn and other shorts (with Defunctland's Kevin Perjurer!) This week, the randomizer picks a series of movie tie-in shorts produced in the 2010s and beyond by that once-unstoppable, still-occasionally-adequate pride of Emeryville, the bittersweet digital whimsy factory known to mere mortals as PIXAR! Join Tony Goldmark, Charlie Callahan, Haley Baker Callahan and Defunctland's Kevin Perjurer as they microwave some PIXAR POPCORN AND OTHER SHORTS! Shorts covered in this episode: - The Legend of Mor'du (2012) - Party Central (2014) - Riley's First Date? (2015) - Auntie Edna (2018) - Pixar Popcorn (2021) Check out my guests' stuff! CHARLIE CALLAHAN Twitter...2021-05-051h 06
Escape From Vault DisneyDrain the Great Lakes This week Tony joins the hosts of this weekend's "Thanks For The Magic" charity livestream as the randomizer, in its infinite wisdom, forces them to watch a 2011 NatGeo documentary special that for some weird reason saw fit to ask the bold question, "What if the water had no water in it?" Join Tony Goldmark, Kevin Anderson, Charlie Callahan and Haley Baker Callahan as they inexplicably DRAIN THE GREAT LAKES! In the time since we recorded and released this podcast, Drain the Great Lakes has been removed from Disney+, but you can still watch it HERE: https://www...2020-12-0239 min
Escape From Vault DisneyHalloweentownJust in the nick of time for Halloween, the randomizer picks another Halloween title, this one a well-remembered Disney Channel Original Movie from 1998! You've heard of Halloween the holiday, Halloween the movie and Halloween the Horror Nights, but did you know Halloweentown can be a TOWN? And hey, Kalabar (or possibly Calabar) is actually IN this one! Join Tony Goldmark, Charlie Callahan, Haley Baker Callahan and Gaby Tyrrell as they hitchhike all the way to HALLOWEENTOWN!2020-10-3150 min
Escape From Vault DisneyFreaky Friday (2003) (with Kyle Kallgren!) Patreon Request Month just keeps chuggin' along with Justin Wilton's request for the 2003 remake of the unforgettable classic story that dared to ask the bold cinematic question, "What if person was other person?" Join Tony Goldmark, Charlie Callahan, Haley Baker Callahan and Kyle Kallgren as they wake up on FREAKY FRIDAY (2003)! 2020-09-261h 09
Escape From Vault DisneyDoug S3E21 - Quailman Vs. The Triad of TerrorWhat happens when a Nicktoon becomes a Disneytoon? Apparently they run out of ideas and say "Screw it, it's a superhero show now." This week the randomizer picks a 1999 episode of the show that inexplicably had "Brand Spankin' New" in its title at one point! Join Tony Goldmark, Charlie Callahan, Haley Baker Callahan and Morgan Funder as they say hello to DOUG, season three (technically seven), episode twenty-one, "Quailman Vs. The Triad of Terror!"2020-02-1237 min
Escape From Vault DisneyRocket & Groot shortsI am Groot? I am Groot. I am Groot, I am Groot, I am Groot. I am Groot. Tony Goldmark, Charlie Callahan, Haley Baker Callahan and Morgan Funder I am Groot ROCKET & GROOT SHORTS!2020-02-0531 min
Escape From Vault DisneyRead It and Weep What if Lizzy McGuire was also Tyler Durden AND Killer Frost? This week the randomizer goes back to 2006 (a magical long-forgotten era when some people apparently DIDN'T always want the whole world to read every last thought that fell out of their skulls) and chooses another Disney Channel original movie, this one about a high school girl whose diary goes viral (diaral?) and becomes semi-sentient. Join Tony Goldmark, Charlie Callahan, Haley Baker Callahan and Morgan Funder as they bravely READ IT AND WEEP! 2020-01-2950 min