Shows
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 197 How To Apologize🎙️ Ep 197 – How to Apologize 💛 Repairing Relationships with Confidence and Calm Apologizing isn’t about shame or groveling — it’s about emotional strength, humility, and staying grounded in discomfort. In this episode, Heidi breaks down how to make heartfelt apologies that build trust, not tension — and why this matters deeply for the emotional health of your family. You’ll learn: 🧠 How real apologies shift your nervous system into connection 🪨 Why we must feel discomfort in our bodies to repair with honesty 📣 The 5-step apology that includes changed behavior (not just words) 🛑 What not to say — and...2025-06-0415 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 196 Creating Connections🎙️ Episode 196: Creating Connection 💞 In this heart-opening episode, Heidi explores what it really means to connect — not just with words, but with energy, presence, and intention. 💫 You’ll learn: ✨ Why connection is an energy loop — and how we either open or close that loop 🐧 How penguins pebble and what that teaches us about human connection 📱 The subtle bids your kids, spouse, and friends are making every day 👀 What your body language says about your emotional availability 💔 The impact of disconnection — and how to gently repair it ❤️ Daily ways to build deeper relationships with your teens...2025-05-2817 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 189 Quiet Wins Key Points: Host Heidi Benjaminsen discusses the importance of "quiet wins" - personal victories in emotional life and relationships that often go unnoticed These wins build confidence and strengthen family relationships, even when others don't explicitly acknowledge them Notable Quiet Wins Discussed: Staying calm and curious during difficult conversations, especially with children Not participating in gossip or spreading private information about others Declining invitations/opportunities that don't align with your values or energy Resisting the urge to correct or give unsolicited advice, especially to children Allowing others (particularly children) to manage their own responsibilities Speaking positively...2024-10-2319 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 187 A Few Oppositional Kid Tips Have you ever felt like you're butting heads with your strong-willed kid? Well, you're not alone! Episode 187 shares some fantastic tips for dealing with those headstrong, independent-minded teens we all know and love. First off, let's celebrate these traits! Heidi reminds us that having a strong sense of self and the ability to think independently are actually superpowers. We're not trying to squash these qualities, just guide them in a positive direction. Here are some nuggets of wisdom from the episode: Choices, choices, choices! Whenever possible, give your teen options. This could be as s...2024-07-1713 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 186 Understanding Your Nervous System Hey there, moms! If you're getting ready to send your kid off to college, this episode of Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen is definitely for you. Heidi dives into understanding our nervous system and how it affects our emotions and reactions, especially during big life changes like your child leaving for college. She explains that our nervous system is like a background program constantly running to keep us safe, but sometimes it can be a bit overprotective – like a smoke detector going off for burnt toast! She breaks down our nervous system states into three "co...2024-07-1027 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 185 How To Live Drama Free Episode 185 of Confidence Coaching focuses on achieving freedom from drama in life. The host, Heidi Benjaminsen, starts by defining drama as exaggerated behavior or reactions, often performed for others. She then outlines six key strategies to reduce drama in our lives. The first strategy is to create space for thinking and curiosity about situations and people's motives. This involves slowing down and questioning our assumptions. The second is to distinguish between facts and the stories we create about those facts, recognizing that our perceptions are colored by our experiences and values. Heidi emphasizes...2024-07-0318 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 183 Three Layers of an ExperienceOur life made up for billions of moments/experiences and each experience has three layers: The actual experience. Our awareness of the experience. The story or meaning we create about the experience. Listen to episode 183 as Heidi Benjaminsen shares and breaks down several experiences of her life into these three layers. You'll learn that actual experiences only last a short period of time. Heidi teaches how having the awareness inside our body helps us feel any emotion and know it will pass in time. Being able to handle any emotion allows us to stay in ou...2024-06-1917 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 179 (Best of) Being a Good MomAll moms worry if they are "good enough"; we are biologically wired to care about this. This "worry" becomes a problem when we look to our children or external factors to determine if we are good enough. It's an even bigger problem if we think we need to be "perfect". Listen to episode 179 to hear advanced certified life coach Heidi Benjaminsen discuss what makes us a good mom. When we think we are a good mom, we act in a way that reinforces this belief. Good moms are everywhere...2024-05-0835 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenApril 15, 2024Weekly Update from Elder Matthew Benjaminsen2024-04-1603 minConfidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenApril 8, 2024Weekly update from Elder Matthew Benjaminsen2024-04-1607 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 175 (Best of) Grace-Filled Relationships The episode delves into the idea of grace, drawing inspiration from a talk by Brad Wilcox titled "His Grace is Sufficient." Grace, as Heidi explains, is a gift given out of love, not fear or judgment, and it assumes worthiness without the need for earning it. She explores how grace applies to human relationships, emphasizing the importance of shifting our mindset towards others and ourselves. Heidi emphasizes that our relationships with others exist in our minds, shaped by our thoughts about them. She highlights the three components of a relationship: what we think about...2024-03-0625 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 174 Building Core Confidence Heidi Benjaminsen hosts "Confidence Coaching," a podcast aimed at supporting mothers in maintaining calmness and stability regardless of their surroundings. In Episode 174, titled "Building Core Confidence," Heidi shares a personal experience from a skiing trip in Austria to illustrate the importance of developing emotional resilience and stability. She describes how navigating challenging ski trails highlighted the role of her core muscles in maintaining balance and stability, drawing parallels to building emotional resilience in everyday life. Heidi emphasizes the significance of staying centered, taking responsibility for one's actions and emotions, and avoiding the temptation to blame external factors. Through her skiing...2024-02-2820 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 172 Changing Your MindWhen we gain life experience, learn new information and see the perspective of how other people experience life, our opinions, our beliefs, our biases change. Confident people WANT to change their minds over their lifetime. To do so requires a lot of self-acceptance, integrity, discomfort, humility and emotional maturity. Our lower brains will resist us changing our opinions, for fear it means we were "wrong" before and fearing what is "new" and "unknown". Remember this brain wants us to be "right" more than anything else. But this brain isn't confident and isn't getting us ultimately where we want...2024-01-1719 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 167 Confident Body LanguageWe've all heard that the way we hold out body sends messages to other people about our confidence or insecurities, if we are open to conversation or want to be left alone. Did you know our nervous system ALSO knows how WE are holding our body and ALSO sends signals of confidence or insecurity, of safety or danger? Listen to episode 167 of Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen as she teaches about proprioception, or the science of how our nervous system is aware of how we are positioned and how it sends messages to our brain - messages t...2023-11-0814 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 166 Staying Off The Emotional RollercoasterA teenager's body has wildly fluctuating hormones and moods that seem to hit the highs and lows like the world's best rollercoasters. They can be angry, excited, anxious, nervous and happy all in a few minutes. Just because THEY are on this ride does not mean WE need to be on the ride with them. In episode 166 of Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen, learn tips to stay anchored and calmly on the "platform" as your teen experiences the emotional rollercoaster. Learn how to separate your emotions from their emotions. Hear how to normalize and validate their experience whil...2023-10-2515 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 159 Taking Things PersonallyWe take things personally (or are easily offended) when our brain thinks we are constantly being attacked. We think there is danger in the words, actions and inactions of everyone around us. Regardless of why we may take things too personally, it IS possible to become more confident, stronger emotionally. Listen to episode 159 of Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen to hear Heidi share very detailed examples of how to pause and pivot AWAY from being offended and taking things personally. This requires us to feel and acknowledge how we are feeling, determine if there is intent to hur...2023-07-0522 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 153 Our Channel of Influence (Stay In Your Lane Series)In the third episode in this special Stay In Our Lane series, listen as Heidi explains what happens between our lanes, between people as we communicate, behave and show up in the world. There is more than just one person being totally responsible for their emotions and not taking accountability for their influence on others. Heidi explains the Channel of Influence that runs between us and everyone we interact with. Hear examples of how others are affected (or influenced) by the words, behavior, tone of voice, body language, gossip, sarcasm and more of others. The more we are...2023-04-1926 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 152 Stay In Your Lane: Other Peoples LanesIn this special Stay In Your Lane series, Heidi explains foundational concepts that help us stay anchored and calm in our "own lane". This happens when we understand what everyone else is responsible for in "their lane". Listen in episode 152 as Heidi discusses what everyone else in our life is responsible for and hear examples of how to get out of other people's lanes. When we allow people to manage their emotions, to be responsible for their actions and needs, they learn CONFIDENCE. They feel respected and learn the lessons they need to learn. They feel EMPOWERED beca...2023-04-1226 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 151 Stay In Your Lane: Our LaneConfidence is rooted in taking full responsibility for our life, or "our lane". We are responsible to understand and manage our own thinking, feeling, doing and what we are creating. These all create a "wheel" that is constantly directing and moving us in whatever direction WE move it. Listen as Heidi begins a "Stay In Your Lane" series that explain newly updated foundation concepts and tools. Learn what IS in your lane, or is your responsible, and what is NOT in your lane. Listen to hear why we need to take responsibility for meeting our needs, being consid...2023-04-0527 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 146 Trailing Invisible ThoughtsTrailing after many of our thoughts are the REAL opinions, biases, judgments and thoughts which are creating what we experience. We are less impacted by what others do and MORE impacted by thinking they SHOULD be different. We are less impacted by the world and MORE impacted by our opinions if we can handle life or if it is too much. This is what we uncover when we learn how to identify our "trailing invisible thoughts". Listen as Heidi shares many examples of what these invisible thoughts are, how to uncover them, how to normalize these thoughts and...2023-02-2216 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 142 Defining Our ValuesOur values are what is most important, above all else, in our lives. Our values are the principles and beliefs driving our actions. Often, though, we don't stop to identify exactly what we value. Listen as Heidi explains why we need to identify and name our values before we set new year's goals and resolutions. Heidi walks you through the questions to ask yourself that reveal your core values. Even if you think you know your values, listen and re-evaluate. Our values change from time to time as we gain wisdom, experience and grow.2023-01-0514 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 137 Connecting with QuestionsAsking questions that actually get your teen talking to you is a skill and one of the most powerful tools we have to create lasting relationships. We have to remember we DON’T know what they are thinking and we have to be genuinely curious. Listen as Heidi shares ways to change our mindset and ways to ask questions that get your teen talking. Learn why it’s important to pause and listen and how to remove judgment from our responses. Then prepare yourself to really hear what is on their mind! Click here to access th...2022-06-2912 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 134 When Our Children Leave "The Path"Heidi shares a story about a trip she took a few years ago, where her GPS took her off the “direct path” and a beautiful trip that unfolded. Heidi shares many lessons from this trip about the options for worry, stress or calm and relaxation as our GPS (or the GPS of our teens) takes them on a path different from others. Learn helpful ways to support (and not disconnect from) friends on their own paths.2022-05-1819 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 122 How To Observe Your ThoughtsThe first skill to anchor our emotions and beliefs is to learn how to watch and observe our thoughts. Being able to identify what is going on in our brain gives us power over what we are thinking and creating in life. Listen as Heidi explains how to stop, get still and observe what is going on in your head. Heidi teaches we are not our thoughts, we can't believe and act on everything that runs through our head. Learning how to observe and question what you are thinking brings emotional control and confidence.2022-02-1612 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp 115 Anchoring Tool: I Am FeelingWhen we're feeling "un-anchored" and out of control emotionally, there is a way to pivot our emotions and "re-anchor" them. Learn as Heidi teaches a tool to get control of our emotions and remind our body that WE are creating what we are feeling (not someone or something else). Listen to episode 115 to hear the importance of what we say after "I am...". because these are the things we attract into our lives.2021-12-2909 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 114 My Favorite Thoughts 2021Listen as Heidi shares the thoughts and questions that have anchored her through this year, especially a year full of disagreement and social discord. Learn how to distance our own opinions about how other people are living their life with our own opinions. Each thought and question helps get us back in our own lane and focusing on how we show up. Learn how to reflect back on this year to fuel you to grow in 2022!2021-12-2211 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 113 Be Here Not ThereSitting in regret of the past or worry and anxiety about the future, robs us from enjoying and experiencing our present. In the holiday season, it's easy to rush to get things done - to think the future will be better than today. Listen as Heidi teaches us tools and questions to get our mind out of "there" and back to "here" and the present. There is beauty and gratitude in the everyday, mundane. The more present we can be in our lives, the more we can improve our overall emotional baseline.2021-12-1517 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 112 Faulty If-Then BeliefsOur brains like to make opinions and assumptions like math equations - if this happens (A plus B), then the only result is this (equals C). If my child goes to college, they will be successful. These beliefs serve us well... until they don't. Until we realize life is NOT a math equation. Life is all in the gray area, where we can't see all of the variables at play. Listen as Heidi shares several examples of "faulty if-then" beliefs that we should question. When we figure out what we ultimately want, we drop much of the stress and...2021-12-0813 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 111 Emotions To Bring To Holiday GatheringsWhile you're deciding which side dish you'll be bringing to the holiday party, take some time to decide the Emotional Dishes you'll be bringing as well. Let someone else bring stress, criticism and perfectionism - we can bring other emotional vibes. Listen as Heidi shares how to bring Acceptance, Curiosity and Amusement to your holiday gatherings. Learn why these emotions will help you connect with others and thoughts to help create these more useful emotions.2021-12-0117 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 110 Being DisappointedDisappointment is what we feel when life (people, events, our circumstances) does not meet our expectations and we feel "displeasure". Learning how to "own" we are creating this emotion and feel disappointment is actually a very powerful tool to anchor us to show up calmly and securely for our children. It's important to let our children feel disappointed (and not try to make them immediately feel better) so they learn how to be emotionally mature humans. Listen as Heidi gives many examples of how and why to feel disappointment.... which actually helps us feel better, sooner.2021-11-2418 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenTurning Resentment into GratitudeResentment creeps into our life when we think life isn't fair, when things or people shouldn't be how they are or we feel betrayed. Resentment makes us the victim of our lives. Gratitude is the antidote to resentment - we can't feel resentment and gratitude at the same time. Gratitude is a courageous and vulnerable choice we make to take back our emotional control. Listen as Heidi walks listeners through many situations and how to create more gratitude and happiness.2021-11-1719 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 108 Processing vs Numbing EmotionsListen as Heidi teaches you the one way to determine if the way we "handle" emotions is healthy processing or unhealthy buffering of emotions. We don't always need to sit and feel for hours on end. We can go for walks, talk to friends, clean closets and more. What we're doing is less the issue. We always want to be considering what RESULT we create from how we handle the emotions. Are we moving FORWARD towards a positive life, or are we creating MORE negative (gain weight, debt, addiction, etc)?2021-11-1014 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 107 Staying Calm and AnchoredIn this personal episode, Heidi shares two examples of managing her emotions, the exact thoughts that kept her anchored and how this impacted her family. In the first example, Heidi's daughter has a real, angry meltdown and Heidi shares how she stayed calm (it was hard!) and the positive consequences of this. In the second example, Heidi shares how she processed negative emotions of shame, vulnerability and sadness. Being able to do both of these things, allows us to show up in complete integrity, owning all of our actions and reactions.2021-11-0316 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 106 Doing Things We Don't Want To DoFew people WANT to do laundry, but we all want clean clothes. Few of us WANT to exercise but we all want the benefits of having DONE the exercise. Learning how to do things we don't want to do, learning to do things even if we don't like it is what separates people who achieve goals from those who quit... or don't start at all. Listen as Heidi teaches several mis-perceptions we have about people who do the hard (that they want to... they actually usually don't want to or like the hard) and tips to get ourselves to...2021-10-2716 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 105 Confidence and Sexuality with Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-FifeDr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife is an LDS relationship and sexuality therapist, counselor and coach who joins Heidi for a conversation about confidence. They discuss how to acknowledge and own our imperfections, understanding our identity and how our children learn to be confident in their sexuality by watching their parents. Listen as they share their own experiences raising teens and share their own insecurities.2021-10-2039 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 104 Giving Ourselves GraceWe're hardest on ourselves. We expect perfection, no mistakes, zero flaws, 100 on every test... so we're constantly disappointing our inner selves. Our insides have forgotten we're human and full of cracks, weaknesses and missteps. Learning to see our real human nature and give ourselves grace is our work. It's the work of building confidence to be flawed AND amazing AND loved... all at the same time. Listen as Heidi shares several examples of how she found grace and how you can turn judgement into grace!2021-10-1316 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 103 Being WrongOne of the best ways to grow our confidence and build relationships is by learning how to be admit and be "wrong" when we are wrong. Our brain on default always wants to be right to protect our ego but this keeps us small and insecure. Listen as Heidi teaches the dangers of always needing to be "right" and questions to ask ourselves to see where we could be "wrong". Heidi gives many examples from her own life and helps us rewrite the subconscious thought that we're always right. Turns out... learning to be wrong is a more "right"...2021-10-0624 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 102 Creating Self-ConfidenceThe fuel of change and growth is self-confidence, and to create this we need to know how to pivot from insecurity... to confidence... to self-confidence. Confidence looks to the past to what "have" I done in the past, where self-confidence looks to the future to define "who we want to be". Listen as Heidi teaches you two questions to ask yourself (what do I fear and who do I want to be) to move from insecurity... to confidence... to self-confidence.2021-09-2921 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 101 Drowning ThoughtsIn 1859, miners who had struck gold drown in the Royal Charter storm because they weighed their pockets and coats with gold to swim to shore. We have thoughts and beliefs that become like this gold - valuable in other situations - but the reason we drown and can't reach shore in life. Listen as Heidi gives many examples of thoughts that can be valuable at times... and can also be drowning thoughts suffocating us from peace. Learn how to learn drop these thoughts to live lighter and be on confident solid ground.2021-09-2221 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 100 Tools To Manage Worry When Sending Child to CollegeSending a child off to college usually produces a lot of worry and stress for parents. All of the sudden we know so much less about what is going on for our child's life so, if left unmanaged, our brains will spiral and ruminate in this worry. Worry creates much unneeded negativity in our life which we project onto our children, feeding their own anxieties. Listen as Heidi teaches why worry SEEMS necessary and three simple tools to re-direct your brain to minimize worry.2021-09-1520 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp 99 Anchoring Tool: Fear or HopeFear and hope are both motivators - we DO or DON'T do things from these emotions. Fear, though, keeps us stuck and is filled with scarcity, doubt and insecurity. Hope is a more anchored and confident emotion. Its important to know which emotion we are projecting to our teenagers because they will sense and absorb this energy. Learn the Fear or Hope anchoring tools that Heidi uses with clients to pivot them from insecurity to confidence.2021-09-0811 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 98 Anger and Masking VulnerabilitiesAnger and the power it pretends to give us seems useful, but it rarely is. Anger is an escalated emotion coming from fear and other vulnerable emotions. When unchecked, our anger hurts us and our relationships. Listen as Heidi teaches you how to dismantle your anger, identify your fears, decide which anger is useful and re-anchor yourself to be the person you really want to be. Learn the exact tools to keep yourself off the emotional rollercoasters others around you are on.2021-08-3020 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 97 Wanting Everyone To Be HappyIt sounds like a lovely thought - to want everyone to be happy - but this desire and thought can end up being a toxic thought that creates negativity and stress in us, if left unchecked. This thought then fuels us to emotionally gaslight other people by telling them they "shouldn't" be sad or having their negative emotional experience, instead of just SEEing other people and validating their emotions. Listen to hear how Heidi explains the possible dangers of this thought and how to anchor our emotions to create connections with others.2021-08-2517 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 96 Life Coaching vs. Therapy"What's the difference between a life coach and a therapy" is a common question. Both professions help people improve their mental wellness, but there are very specific differences between a coach and a therapist. Both have unique tools in their toolbox and focus on different areas of our brain and life. Listen as Heidi teaches how this relates to coaches and therapists for sports teams and athletes who may be injured and this who want to improve their play in the "game".2021-06-3014 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 95 What Confidence Looks LikeWe interpret someone making eye contact, smiling, introducing themselves, being willing to have difficult conversations as those coming from confidence. When we're trying to develop our own confidence, it is useful to visualize what other confidence people DO, what they SAY and then visualize ourselves doing the same. Listen as Heidi walks through several situations and examples of what confidence looks like. Just one new confident act reinforced to your brain that you ARE a confidence person.2021-06-1619 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 94 Lighten UpListen as Heidi explains about the background of her Lighten Up private membership for Mothers of Teenagers who want to gain more confidence and peace that they are making the right choices for their families. Lighten Up is for women who want less emotional and physical weight and want to feel more anchored in their self-esteem, emotions, and confidence. Click below to learn more and join as a founding member. https://heidibenjaminsen.mykajabi.com/lighten-up-sign-up2021-06-0919 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 93 Having Our Own BackWhile it feels good to have other people support us when we face obstacles, are weak and need help, it feels BETTER when we know WE can be that support to ourselves. We have a deep inner grounding when we know WE have the ability to have our own back. Listen as Heidi gives several examples of what this looks like in our lives and the ripple effects of building our inner confidence and strength.2021-06-0215 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 92 Discomfort ToleranceThe more uncomfortable emotions we are willing to feel in our life, the more growth we will experience. Handling uncomfortable conversations and situations builds confident, solid and respectful relationships with other people - but it starts with having our own solid self-confidence. Listen as Heidi gives examples of how to manage our thoughts and emotions to feel the discomfort and learn WHY this is such an important emotional skill.2021-05-2617 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 91 The Why PauseWe all have a space in our mind and body where we can pause, identify our emotions and thoughts and then choose how we want to respond. Achieving our goals requires us to learn how to pause and create specific emotions. In this episode Heidi explains a tool called The Why Pause that helps clients learn to shift their default emotions to more useful emotions by using their why's or reasons for setting the goals. Listen as Heidi explains many examples of how to use this simple, yet profound tool.2021-05-1212 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 90 Our Fear of Failing as MothersOne of the deepest fears we have as mothers is that we might "fail" our children and they will suffer because of our deficiencies. This fear isn't rooted in truths about our human experience and fuels us to insecurely try to control our children... all so we feel better. Listen as Heidi unravels this belief and talks through what "failing" and "succeeding" looks like. Turns out... succeeding is loving, teaching, modeling resiliency... and embracing our humanness.2021-05-0520 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 89 Perfectionism Disconnects Us From OurselvesOur desire to be perfect ends up creating low self-esteem and negative mental talk in our own minds. On default we end up comparing and focusing on what we do "wrong", which sabotages our relationship with ourselves. Listen as Heidi shares unique tools to on how to improve our self-compassion and self-esteem as we embrace our humanness. Learn how to reframe all of the seasons of your life and improve your inner dialogue.2021-04-2820 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 88 Perfectionism Disconnects Us from Other PeoplePerfectionist mindsets and the fear of showing weakness to others creates disconnection and distance between us and all other people. As humans, though, we have a deep emotional need to connect and be understood. As Dr. Brene Brown says, perfectionism is a 2-ton shield we carry hoping not to get "hurt"... all the while the shield blocks growth and connection we desperately need. Heidi shares many examples of how to dismantle and drop any perfectionist shields you have so you can create greater connection with people you want to connect with.2021-04-2121 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 86 Your Vibe Attracts Your TribeWe all give off a vibe through our body language, our words, our tone of voice, our clothes, how we hold ourselves and show up to the world. This vibe is an outer expression of our inner thoughts, beliefs, opinions and more. It also attracts into our life other people with the same inner compass. It's important to routinely check in and make sure our vibe is consistent with who we want to be. Heidi gives you tips on how to recognize what you're attracting into your life and how to make small tweaks so your tribe is going wher...2021-04-0714 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 85 The River of MiseryWe all need to cross a river of negative emotion if we want to change and reach new goals. Listen as Heidi explains this analogy so you can visualize the discomfort, commitment, patience and more needed to lose weight or reach other goals. Heidi explains why the river is the most important experience - this is where we BECOME people who can fail and be resilient, we BECOME people who are patience, we BECOME a new person with new thoughts and beliefs.2021-03-2418 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 84 Healthy Weekend Success"I'll start on Monday" is an excuse to go unconscious from our healthy goals and choices for a few days - to indulge. This mindset sabotages our health goals and is rooted in all or nothing thinking. Heidi shares why being conscious and intentional of our weekend habits sets the pattern for permanent health changes. Listen to the 7 tips and tools to make sure you enjoy your weekend AND use the time to get closer to your goals.2021-03-1713 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenScarcity MindsetOur brains on default look for what is missing, they focus on the negative and offer us thoughts to make us feel "not enough". This scarcity mentality creates insecurity, stress, anxiety, fear and more than isn't helpful. Listen as Heidi gives examples of this mentality and tools to easily pivot our thoughts to see that there is MORE than ENOUGH for everyone. The world is full of enough compliments, enough money, enough love, enough raises, enough success and more.2021-03-1021 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 82 Owning Your TruthThe first step for change is owning the reality of what is, of seeing our truth. Our brain wants us to reject or deny the truth because it fears the false stories we make up that create shame and blame in our bodies. And these emotions keep us stuck. Listen as Heidi gives many examples of what it looks like to own our truth, in simple and complex ways. She gives you tools to quickly step into your truth, see solutions to problems and create calm in place of shame.2021-03-0318 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 81 Decision FatigueOur brains can only handle a certain amount of decision making each day before they get tired. We then start making poor choices or default to the easiest option... or worse... just don't decide (which IS a decision). Listen as Heidi explains the ways in which decision fatigue hits us in every area of our life and tools to reduce it's negative impact. Learn where to make decisions ahead of time, how to make quick and fast decisions and how to stack the odds in your favor for making the healthiest and most beneficial choices for your life.2021-02-2420 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 80 Clean and Dirty StressWe're all going to experience stress from time to time - it's part of how we grow. Stress itself isn't a problem - this is the clean stress of life. We create dirty stress in life when we make clean stress a problem, when we try to swerve into other people's lanes, and when we create problems where there are none. Listen to Heidi explain the difference between these two emotions and tools to eliminate dirty stress.2021-02-1714 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 79 SEEing OurselvesIn this special episode Heidi teaches the foundation tool for SEEing ourselves which supports all of the belief, emotional and habit changes in her unique weight loss and confidence programs. Change comes when we realize- I am SPECIAL, - I am EQUAL - and I am ENOUGH. Much of our emotional eating is rooted in our inability to really SEE who we are. When we clearly SEE ourselves and own our uniqueness and wholeness, we develop the confidence to make permanent health changes.2021-02-1016 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 78 Shame, Blame and our BodiesShame and blame are two of the most sabotaging emotions to have about our bodies. They make us powerless to make any change and these emotions are NOT rooted in reality. Learn from Heidi the thoughts and beliefs that put us in shame and blame and HOW to move to the middle where we find acceptance and reality. Accepting responsibility for our reality is the first step to improving our emotional and physical health.2021-02-0314 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 77 Fear of FailureOur brain creates an unrealistic fear of failure so it doesn't have to work hard and we stay small. It fakes us into thinking we can't handle the emotional pain of failure and that it is the equivalent to death. So, we just don't try... which is really failing in advance. Listen as Heidi teaches you how to manage these fears, what they really are, how to manage your brain, thoughts and emotions... so you DO grow, learn, stretch, fall down.... and get back up.2021-01-2715 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 76 Self-Limiting BeliefsWe are who we BELIEVE we are. We will achieve what we BELIEVE we are capable of achieving. The problem is often our beliefs aren't based in any truth or reality. And these belief creates walls, limits, ceilings and obstacles for our greatest goals and dreams. Heidi gives many examples of beliefs that hold us back and steps to dismantle and change these beliefs! Listen... then start seeing your life and potential in a whole new light!2021-01-2018 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp 74 Five Goal Making MistakesWe commonly make 5 mistakes when making goals at this time of year... which result in us giving up by February! Either we make goals that are too big, we forget to make small daily habit goals to support the bigger goals or the goals don't have enough wiggle room. Giving up sugar or social media or anything will be harder to sustain, versus reducing it 90%. Listen as Heidi teaches how to overcome these simple mistakes.2021-01-0614 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 73 Losing 60+ Pounds In a PandemicNot everyone has been gaining weight in 2020. Heidi interviews her client Suzanne who has lost over 60 pounds this year and started after quarantine began. She talks about the shame she felt and how she handled failures (hint: she got back up). She shares exactly what she has been thinking and feeling about herself the whole way - and the key to the confidence she has that she WILL keep it off. This is a must listen!2020-12-3048 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 71 Stop Eating To Feel BetterOur lower brain wants us to avoid pain - even emotional pain - so it creates urges to eat sweet, salty, high fat foods for a quick dopamine hit when we are sad, lonely, nervous, stressed, uncomfortable or any other negative emotion. But emotions are not problems to be solved... and food is only a solution for hunger... not loneliness! Heidi shares examples of how to distinguish emotional urges from intentional food choices, and how to stop eating to feel better.2020-12-1616 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 69 Negative Self-TalkOur inner critic sometimes works in overdrive, thinking that she can shame us into improving. And she is programmed to find the negative. BUT we don't improve from shame. Listen as Heidi teaches you how you are normal to have negative thoughts about yourself and how these thoughts are NOT you. Learn tools to manage this mean and wrong inner critic. Confident people are the ones who don't believe these thoughts!2020-12-0220 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 65 Rewriting Stories of Our Past with Jody MooreSome of the stories we re-tell of our past keep us stuck and block us from making progress today. Listen as Heidi interviews master certified coach Jody Moore to learn what from our past stories is impacting us today and how to reframe these "hurtful" stories. Learn helpful tools to adjust our lenses of our life and how to make these stories work in our favor. We can be bitter, or better. We can be victims, or heroes. Our choice!2020-11-0433 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 61 Agreeing to DisagreeWe all have opinions and it can be hard for us to have conversations with people to disagree with us. Our emotions can take over if our brain things we are being attacked. Learn tools on how to agree to disagree with others. Heidi teaches how to question your thoughts, how to determine your subconscious fears of disagreements and how to create connection and respect for other perspectives. Be okay saying "You may be right"... and nothing more!2020-10-0716 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 59 Wishing People Were DifferentWe all have a list of WHO we want to change so we can feel better. If our spouse would just do this or be that, we could then feel appreciated and loved. If our mother was kinder or more supportive or more whatever, we'd feel prouder or more secure. But we have NO control over other people and ALL of this wishing builds walls between us and other people. These walls distract us from the real work of accepting and loving other people. Heidi teaches tools to dismantle these walls and why nobody else needs to change so we ca...2020-09-2323 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 57 Three Easy Ways To Change Your FocusOne of the easiest ways to release the tight grip our brain has on judgment, opinions and painful beliefs is to add simple words before or after these thoughts. By making very small changes, our focus shifts. We see new solutions, new possibilities, our anxieties and stress are reduced. We suddenly see how we are much more like other people and our frustration calms down quite a bit. Listen as Heidi walks you through these 3 easy tools to add to your toolkit to start seeing other people and yourself in more focus. Use them everyday and suddenly life will look...2020-09-0916 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 56 Talking To Teens About Pornography: Interview with Zach SpaffordPornography is very accessible to our teens and we need to have the tools to talk to them about it. Heidi interviews certified life coach Zach Spafford, who specializes in helping men overcome addictive behaviors, for insight into having conversations with our teens. Zach gives incredibly useful tools on what to say, what NOT to say or do (freak out!), why our brains like pornography and hope if anyone you know struggles with this over-desire.2020-09-0259 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 54 How To Stop People-PleasingPeople-pleasing is when we try to manipulate and control other people's emotions at the expense of our own needs. We show up as our fake selves and we create disappointment and resentment - for ourselves. Listen as Heidi gives many examples of why it is dangerous and HOW to overcome this addictive tendency we all have. When we learn to manage it, we become calm, confidence, relaxed and able to show up as our REAL selves. Which most people will love.2020-08-1924 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp 53 Being RightMore than anything, our brains want to be right. They think being right protects us. Instead, this desire creates anxiety, stress, and frustration. Thinking we are right creates blinders that block other options and create judgement and criticism. In this episode learn why our brain has tricked us into always wanting to be right. Listen as Heidi teaches you tools to loosen your grip on needing to be right and how to decide when you are right... and maybe wrong.2020-08-1219 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 52 The Easy or The Hard WayDoing "hard things" is often noble and where we learn and grow. But often we make things MUCH harder than they need to be, unintentionally. By learning to pause, and ask ourselves a few questions, we can identify "easier" routes. Taking these routes helps us have more energy for bigger priorities in life, while still reaching the same goals. Listen as Heidi gives examples of when it's important to pause and examine our reasons, our beliefs and seek "easier" solutions.2020-08-0521 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 51 Teen Anxiety: Interview with Daelene ByamTeens experiencing anxiety need tools, support and coaching tailored to their needs and circumstances. In this special episode, Heidi interviews certified life coach, Daelene Byam, a teen anxiety coach. She shares personal experiences from her own children, as well as tools she teaches clients. She helps listeners identify when coaching could help their child and how to approach your teen about coaching. www.daelenebyamcoaching.com2020-07-2935 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 44 Listen to UnderstandWe often hear another person or listen to their words with the intent to reply to them. When in reality, we need to be listening with the intent to UNDERSTAND them. To see, acknowledge, witness their point of view. Heidi teaches you why this is hard work, what our brains naturally want to do, and then tips to really listen. Everyone has something to teach us (including our teenagers!), if we are willing and open to really listen to them.2020-06-1014 min
Hi, This Is HeidiEp. 44 Listen to UnderstandWe often hear another person or listen to their words with the intent to reply to them. When in reality, we need to be listening with the intent to UNDERSTAND them. To see, acknowledge, witness their point of view. Heidi teaches you why this is hard work, what our brains naturally want to do, and then tips to really listen. Everyone has something to teach us (including our teenagers!), if we are willing and open to really listen to them.2020-06-1014 min
Hi, This Is HeidiEp 40 Lens #2: My Difficult ChildWhen we think my child is difficult, we feel judgement, criticism and negativity. And those feelings make us act and say negative things to our child. It doesn't help that the medical world likes to throw labels like 'disorder' on our children. Heidi will teach you the warning thoughts that you are seeing your child through this distorted lens. She shares critical questions to help clean off the lens. When we honor our children are unique and will bloom in their own season - we see them different.2020-05-1323 min
Hi, This Is HeidiEp 39 Lens #1: I Am RightWhen we see the world through the Lens of thinking I Am Right, we create judgement, criticism and frustration because we only see a very narrow viewpoint. Heidi explains the distortion of this lens, the confusion it creates as we parent our teenagers and how to clear up the distortions of this lens. We create more calm and confidence when we expand our vision and understanding.2020-05-0624 min
Hi, This Is HeidiEp 38 The 5 Clarifying Lens MethodWhen our children turned into teenagers, no one told us that we need to change the lenses through which we see them. Our parenting lenses are cloudy and distorted, which create the frustration and anger we feel. Heidi gives an intro to her transformative 5 Clarifying Lens Method which helps mothers create the calm and confidence they want.2020-04-2917 min
Hi, This Is HeidiEp 37 Three Words To Stop SayingWe say words out of habit that create emotions in our body that we might not like. Heidi walks us through three words to evaluate in our thoughts and conversations. Listen to find out the dangers of saying HAVE TO, SHOULD and WRONG too often. Changing small words will remove judgement and obligation from our lives and replace them with curiosity and desire.2020-04-2218 min
Hi, This Is HeidiEp 33 Don't Eat Your EmotionsDuring times of stress, anxiety, and sadness we are conditioned to reach for comfort food to provide a quick moment of pleasure. We want to escape the negative feelings in our body and we crave sweet and salty foods. In our current situation of being at home 24 hours a day, it's important to understand WHY we are reaching for those foods to limit the negative effects of over-doing it. Heidi helps you understand why you want them and gives you tools to reach for other non-food solutions to our stress.2020-03-2817 min
Hi, This Is HeidiEp 29 Compare DespairNothing positive comes from comparing ourselves to other people. We create insecurity and shame, disappointment and guilt - all needlessly generated if we don't manage the thoughts in our brain. Listen to find out why we compare ourselves and how to stop ourselves from going down this negative spiral. Heidi teaches great tips to get you out of the compare despair universe and into your own world of confidence and peace.2020-03-1118 min
Hi, This Is HeidiEp 28 Own Your EmotionsUnlike conventional wisdom, nothing outside of us hurts our feelings or makes us happy. We do that on our own, which is amazing news! Heidi explains the concept of emotional childhood and adulthood. Its life changing to stop blaming things outside of us for controlling our emotions - and to have awareness then take responsibility for controlling every emotion we feel. The good and the bad emotions!2020-03-0420 min
Hi, This Is HeidiEp 24 Self-CompassionOur ability to love others is only equal to our ability to love ourselves. Only we have the power to change the way we talk to ourselves, how we offer kindness and compassion to ourselves. Heidi teaches you WHY we need to develop self-compassion and tools to help you center your mind, heart so you can love yourself more. Which then leads to a lot more love for others!2020-02-0522 min
Hi, This Is HeidiEp 23 Small ChangesEveryone wants to change the world but no one wants to change the toilet paper roll. Heidi teaches how big change always starts small and why we might resist it. Priming our brain with little small daily changes creates a new identity that we can change and makes our brain more open to new ideas, solutions and makes future changes much easier.2020-01-2916 min
Hi, This Is HeidiEp 22 Mirroring EmotionsEmotional maturity involves understanding why and how we "mirror" or reflect the emotions of others around us. Heidi teaches us how mirroring can show empathy or connection. But it can often bring more negativity into our lives if we aren't careful. Listen to hear several examples of what it is and how to control your emotions (and then how you act!).2020-01-2214 min
Hi, This Is HeidiEp 20 Your Future SelfMany people keep repeating the past over and over because they don't take the time to look forward, to look to their future self and ask who they want to become. Creating a future of our dreams requires us to use creativity and imagination. Listen to Heidi as she will walk you through exercises to picture your future self, and how this future YOU can advise you on what to think and feel TODAY to create the future you want! You either create it or it happens by accident - what do you want?2020-01-0820 min
Hi, This Is HeidiEp 18 My Favorite ThoughtsHeidi shares with you four of her favorite thoughts that can help you make shifts from negativity and victimhood to feeling empowered, in control and the hero of you life. They are small tweaks in how you see the world, how you view other people - who are really trying the best they know how. It's wonderful to see a full life as evidence of blessings instead of burdens. A few small changes can steer us in a completely new direction! Try them on!2019-12-2516 min
Hi, This Is HeidiEp 17 Holiday ExpectationsWe want a perfect holiday dinner, to give the best gifts, for other people to be happy with everything going on. We set ourselves up for major disappointment and resentment with extremely high holiday expectations. Heidi gives you tips to examine what your expectations are, information for what you can and can't control and steps to manage your expectations. Because it will absolutely be perfect!2019-12-1814 min
Hi, This Is HeidiEp 15 OverwhelmMany people find themselves in a state of "overwhelm". Did you know overwhelm is 100% created in our minds? It isn't a real thing. It is the drama we create about the facts of our life. It is our thoughts spinning in our heads like the spinning cup rides at amusement parks! Get off the ride! Heidi teaches you what overwhelm REALLY is and how to avoid it.2019-12-0419 min
Hi, This Is HeidiEp 10 Choose Your IdentityYour identity and what you believe about yourself has the greatest affect on what you accomplish in life. Real lasting change doesn't happen in our habits or actions - it happens when we change what we believe about ourselves - when we can start identifying as a person consistent with the results we want to have in life. Heidi teaches you why this is so important with her own experience and how to make these changes for yourself!
James Clear "Atomic Habits"
www.heidibenjaminsen.com2019-10-3025 min
Hi, This Is HeidiEp 8 Dealing with Difficult PeopleDo you have someone in your life who is difficult, toxic or annoying? Everyone does - the good news is they don't have to change at all for you to feel different around them. Listen to several fantastic tools Heidi teaches for how to manage your emotions around these people and show up the way you want to feel and act around them. Once you can ask a few questions about this person, you'll start seeing them in a totally different light!2019-10-1631 min
Hi, This Is HeidiEp 7 Thoughts and FeelingsWe are generally aware of how we are feeling, but often we don't know what is creating that emotion in our body. It isn't something outside of us or a situation creating the emotion - it is always one of our 50,000+ daily thoughts creating the feelings we experience. Heidi walks you through several scenarios to show you the important of slowing down and being conscious of the (optional!) thoughts you are thinking that are creating the emotions you feel on a daily basis.2019-10-0921 min
Hi, This Is HeidiEp. 6 Don't Make It About YouHeidi teaches a great mental tool to help you maintain emotional control - and get out of everyone else's brains! We don't have to interpret the things people say or do as meaning anything about us - even when directed at us. Heidi goes through several examples of how applying this mental trick relieves mental stress and allows us to show up as a higher version of ourselves.2019-10-0224 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 6 Don't Make It About YouHeidi teaches a great mental tool to help you maintain emotional control - and get out of everyone else's brains! We don't have to interpret the things people say or do as meaning anything about us - even when directed at us. Heidi goes through several examples of how applying this mental trick relieves mental stress and allows us to show up as a higher version of ourselves.2019-10-0224 min
Hi, This Is HeidiEp. 3 Allowing Negative EmotionsMost people believe negative emotions like sadness, grief, loneliness, embarrassment, shame, etc are bad and should be avoided. This isn't true. Negative emotions are necessary for our growth and to fully experience this life. We need these emotions to comprehend the positive emotions. Heidi teaches the purpose of negative emotions and how to allow them (not resist, react or avoid).2019-09-1120 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 1 The Coaching ModelHeidi shares the foundation coaching tools she uses in her practice. This tool was developed by Brooke Castillo, founder of The Life Coach School. Heidi defines Circumstances, which trigger Thoughts which create Feelings, which fuel Actions, which create Results in our lives. She gives examples of each and clearly explains how thoughts and feelings are different from facts or circumstances in life. Notes: www.heidibenjaminsen.com www.thelifecoachschool.com2019-08-1515 min
Hi, This Is HeidiEp. 1 The Coaching ModelHeidi shares the foundation coaching tools she uses in her practice. This tool was developed by Brooke Castillo, founder of The Life Coach School. Heidi defines Circumstances, which trigger Thoughts which create Feelings, which fuel Actions, which create Results in our lives.
She gives examples of each and clearly explains how thoughts and feelings are different from facts or circumstances in life.2019-08-1515 min