Shows
Life in RelationshipControl & Letting Go: Give it to the TreesQuestion: How do I let go of things I can’t control? A Dave and Heidi story: the cynical season or “life on the edge” and our first forest therapy attempt Learning to let go of the outcome Letting Go Tip #1 - Find a practice of noticing what we don’t control or can’t control Example: stand in the woods or the yard and note the basic elements of nature around you that you can’t control Letting Go Tip #2 - Read Job chapters 38...2025-02-0429 min
Life in RelationshipSeason 7 Trailer - Relationships, Mental Health, & the Natural WorldWelcome to Season 7 of our little podcast! Dave and I are looking forward to a season of talking about three of our very favorite things comingled...well, four really - life in relationships, mental health, the natural world, and spirituality. Some topics and questions you'll find in the conversation this season include: How does nature help with emotion regulation? How do I let go of things I can’t control? What skills can nature teach us about life transition and change? How do I start healing from Spiri...2025-01-2101 min
Life in RelationshipSeason 6 TrailerWelcome back! The Life in Relationship Podcast answers one relationship question in each episode. We are looking forward to sharing Season 6 with you. This season we are answering relationship questions all about Emotions to celebrate Heidi's book release of Emotions & the Gospel: Created for Connection. Emotions covered include: pleasure, anxiety, happiness, sadness & sorrow, frustration, zeal, and empathy. Join us for episodes dropping in September. Submit your relationship questions at lifeinrelationshippodcast@gmail.com. See you soon!2023-08-2801 min
Life in RelationshipTalking to Someone about Their Mental HealthTopic: How do I talk to someone I love who is struggling with their mental health? Intro: Changing stigma towards mental health Step 1 - changing our beliefs Step 2 - changing our actions related to beliefs 2019 APA survey: https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2019/05/mental-health-survey What is my relationship with this person? (4:30) Relationship = vulnerability + boundaries Where are they at? Consider the person’s willingness to have the conversation Can they see the concerns or are they mostly unaware? Use the phrase – “I’ve noticed” or “Have you noticed…”...2022-02-0740 min
Life in RelationshipYoung Adulting in a FamilyTopic: How does a family adjust to someone becoming an adult? Developmental realities, independence and angst The reality of Young Adulthood – How do I access independence? A Story: getting your first cold and/or changing your major in college Tip 1 – Celebrate small things of young adulthood baby steps reminds us we are capable telling each other you are capable = part of family life Tip 2 – be mindful of the stages of parenting parenting changes over time and with developmental levels of kids article from Berk...2022-01-2434 min
Life in RelationshipHousehold ChoresQuestion: How do we split up “the chores” of a household? For marriage, roommates, families, etc. Dave & Heidi housekeeping love story Gottman research, wives find spouse doing housework erotic Link: https://www.gottman.com/blog/4-typical-solvable-problems-relationships/ do what works, not what is expected Identifying expectations from other places – culture, family of origin, assumptions equality doesn’t mean 50/50, it’s seeing each other as equals there is no perfection in chore life: dailyness of life together in a household and the value of working on the daily things together even when they aren’t fun name yo...2022-01-1034 min
Life in RelationshipAlways Growing in Remembrancewith guest Heather Ruesch Focus: We grow not just in knowledge of God, but when we remember who God is and what He’s done for us. Which are you more comfortable with in your relationship with God: knowledge or experiences? God is omniscient. Psalm 139:4 Where do you see the evidence that God knows us wholly or altogether? God is interested. God sees the details. Psalm 139:3 Name a Scripture story that helps you remem...2021-01-1831 min
Life in RelationshipThe Truth about Mental Health: MentoringSpecial guest: Darcy Paape, director of the Women’s Leadership Institute at Concordia University Wisconsin and author of Someone to Walk With What is mentoring? Intentional Organic Being willing to share both strengths and weaknesses Creating relationships and creating spaces What is the person looking for? Examples: Affirmation? Coaching? Evaluation? Someone to listen? Building blocks of mentoring: Humility & Willingness Cross-generational mentoring examples: Elizabeth and Mary Ruth and Naomi Buil...2020-12-2952 min
Life in RelationshipJesus in Everything: Playgrounds and Production LinesWhat playgrounds do you remember being in your life as a kid? Purpose of playgrounds Purpose of Being Being + doing is the goal, holding both together God’s relationship to being Examples in Scripture Colossians 3:23-24 Colossians 3:17 God’s relationship to doing Examples of Scripture Mary and Martha in all of our lives In what ways are you being with God? In what ways are yo...2020-11-2420 min
Life in RelationshipThe Truth about Mental Health: WorthSense of worth = an internal awareness that as created creatures of God we have value How does God’s delight in us inform our sense of worth? Concept of mutual delight, God to us and us to God Struggle with worth - Delight is not determined by what I do. Seeing our worth based on our relationships with people Worth based on what we do or my performance Engaging in God out of response playing from delight v playing for it what is our vantage point of God? Fath...2020-11-1030 min
Life in RelationshipThe Truth about Mental HealthEpisode 7 – The Truth about Mental Health: Hope Special guest: Tanner Olson, aka Written to Speak Get to know Tanner Why is hope so important for our mental health and for our relationships? Hope changes the narrative Hope as the bridge between mental health and our relationships The power of sharing narrative Sharing hope on the internet Hope with words Hope without words Honoring the heavy to get to the hope Sitting along...2020-10-1336 min
Life in RelationshipMinistry Moment: Building Kid-Friendly Faith CommunitiesWith Special Guest, Sue Steege Director of Christian Education, transformation and discipleship ministry focus Goal – making it safe and doable for parents to be faith growers Moving from Wow to Win How can I set up a win for a parent to transmit the faith? How can I set up a safe way for parents to feel successful in sharing their faith? What opportunity can I set up for families to participate in faith together? Contribution: Allowing and creating opportunities for contribution Follow up with those in th...2020-09-2924 min
Life in RelationshipJesus in Everything: Stuff AnimalsDid you have a stuffed animal or a “lovie” growing up? What was your relationship to the lovie? What do stuffed animals do for kids? What can stuffed animals teach us about Jesus? Comfort – a physical reminder of the abstract comfort we need as kids a sense of power and agency with something that is smaller than them Representation of the abstract, sometimes hard to access, comfort Jesus brings 2 Corinthians 1:3-5 Sensory input, but also knowledge we can seek out w...2020-09-1512 min
Life in RelationshipAlways Growing: It's a ProcessMarriage as a Process…Not a Product What kinds of things in life do you want instant fruit or instant rewards? What kinds of things would you like your spouse to just know about you? Read Ephesians 4:11-16. Where do you see truth and love alive throughout the timeline of your marriage? What does the process of healing or forgiveness look like in your marriage? Wellness Exercise: Open the conversation in your marriage around this discussion: How have we grown since last month? YouTube Video Link: ht...2020-08-3113 min
Life in RelationshipTen Minutes of TrustSpecial Guest: Matt Schuler, pastor and friend What is trust? Heidi’s definitions of trust: https://heidigoehmann.com/blog/always-growing-what-is-trust Designed for trust in God Proverbs 3:5-8 Trust impacted by brokenness Psalm 28:7 Is God trustworthy? Cultural norms Boundaries and trust Dare to Lead elements of trust - https://amzn.to/3kH7bf5 (affliate link) Walking forward with trust wounds Find more resources on trust, m...2020-08-2511 min
Life in RelationshipAlways Growing: Physical Touch 12 Days of Physical Touch What are the purposes of physical touch in marriage? What are the benefits of physical touch in marriage? How do physical touch and sexuality change in different stages of marriage? Name a time your partner comforted you with physical touch. What difference in capacities for physical touch do you and your spouse have, if any? Wellness Exercise: Read Matthew 19:13-15. Consider how love, affection, and belonging is communicated in your household? In what ways is phys...2020-08-1113 min
Life in RelationshipThe Truth about Mental Health: Attachment and GrowthSpecial Guest: Justin Hanneman, PhD, LIMHP, pastor GracePoint Relational Health https://www.relationalhealth.org/ What is attachment? “secret sauce” Trust, sense of safety, and attachment from infancy to adulthood Sense of safety at the subconscious level Implicit memory + early relationships Definition of implicit memory = https://dictionary.apa.org/implicit-memory Love your neighbor and a God as perfect attachment figure while we imperfectly try to love one another. “Attentive caregivers are the answer.”2020-08-1135 min
Life in RelationshipAlways Growing: Love and RespectLove and Respect Got to Do with It Article: https://blog.cph.org/read/everyday-faith/whats-love-and-respect-got-to-do-with-it Read Ephesians 4:32 and Ephesians 5:21. How do each verse impact the whole of how we understand love and respect within our marriages? How is respect important in a marriage? How is love important in a marriage? How do the two overlap? Which is the most challenging for you – assuming the best in your spouse, talking nicely when emotions are high, or dealing with submission in concept or reality? Wellness Exercise: How do you make de...2020-08-0716 min
Life in RelationshipAlways Growing: The First Year of Marriage Why the First Year of Marriage is So Hard Article: https://blog.cph.org/read/family/first-year-marriage-stinkin-hard Radio spot: https://www.kfuo.org/2017/12/01/faf-120117-first-year-marriage-hard/ What memories do you have from your first year of marriage? Be sure to include at least one hard memory and one happy memory. What kinds of things do you think can or do make that first year of marriage more growth-oriented? How did you respect and create your own new family in your first few years of mar...2020-08-0415 min
Life in RelationshipAlways Growing: Treasuring UpTreasuring Up in Marriage Read Luke 2:16-19 What kinds of things do you think Mary was pondering or treasuring up? What kinds of things in marriages, in general, are helpful to “treasure up”? What kinds of things can you treasure up in your own marriage? What moments are in the treasure store of your marriage? Wellness exercise: When you look across the difficult times in your marriage or life together, consider 2-3 things that can be treasured up from those experiences togethe...2020-07-3013 min
Life in RelationshipAlways Growing: When Your Spouse Gets on Your Nerves What to Do When Your Spouse Gets on Your Nerves How do kindness and a sense of humor help when talking about difficult things or prickly things in marriage? Read Matthew 7:3-5. What kinds of things do you think are worth discussing and getting upset about in marriage and life, and what kinds of things are not? What is the difference between internally reflecting and responding when your spouse gets on your nerves? Wellness exercise: Kindly discuss one th...2020-07-0912 min
Life in RelationshipAlways Growing: Love & Honor Your Mother-in-Law Love & Honor Your Mother-in-Law How does our culture represent mother-in-laws? Read Genesis 2:24-25. Brainstorm any relationships impacted by leaving and cleaving and what impacts you see in your own marriage. How can we care for one another in the family through the transition of leaving and cleaving? Wellness exercise: Name a few ways your own marriage has been impacted in both positive and more challenging ways by in law relationships. Rejoice over the gifts those relationships have brought and pray over at l...2020-07-0713 min
Life in RelationshipAlways Growing: When Contempt Threatens When Contempt Threatens Describe contempt in your own words. Which aspects of contempt stick out to you the most? What does respect do for a marriage? Consider the list of concrete ways contempt is given. Which of these strongly effect you, no matter where they are given? Read 2nd Samuel 6:16-23. What emotions are behind Michal’s contempt? Wellness Exercise: Watch a tv show together and watch for ways the characters show contempt in home life. Imagine ways together that th...2020-07-0214 min
Life in RelationshipAlways Growing: Will You Fight for Me? Will You Fight for Me? What do you each remember most about your wedding? In what ways do you fight for one another in your marriage? How is forgiveness part of fighting for one another in marriage? How do you show each other you are fighting for one another? Wellness exercise: Make a list together of three things you value together in your marriage and discuss concrete ways you fight for these things in your marriage, or new ways you can pri...2020-06-3013 min
Life in RelationshipAlways Growing: 3 Places to Never Argue Three Places to Never Argue Questions: Where have you argued and it hasn’t gone well? When and how have you experienced struggles in arguing in any of the three places: Riding in the car In the bedroom (especially preparing for bed) In front of other adults What value is there in letting an argument rest a bit? Why is this hard at times? Wellness exercise: Consider what are two of your “hot button”...2020-06-2513 min
Life in RelationshipAlways Growing: A Marriage that Bends A Marriage that Bends Questions: What magic answers are out there for marriage? What magic answers do you think people utilize to get to marriage growth? How can 1st Corinthians 8:1 inform our marriages? What things in the world attempt to “break” our marriage? Where is the comfort in knowing that God doesn’t break us or our marriage? How do you get the oxygen of Christ into your marriage, even as He is already a part of it when we don’t see it in the b...2020-06-2313 min
Life in RelationshipAlways Growing: Repair Attempts Why Repair Attempts Matter Questions: What topics of things poke at us and start a negative slide or cycle in arguments? How do you usually switch gears or change focuses when you are having an argument and need to relieve some pressure from the conversation? What repair attempts might you use intentionally? What repair attempts might you be using subconsciously? Wellness exercise: Create a catch phrase or code word to utilize as a repair attempt that you can use int...2020-06-1813 min
Life in RelationshipAlways Growing: Grouchiness in Marriage Grouchiness in Marriage Questions: What makes you grouchy? Especially in marriage, keeping a household, and family life? How does the law motivate in marriage, or does it? How does the gospel motivate more fully or better in marriage? What does the gospel look like when you’d like to see a change in your marriage? Wellness exercise: Identify one change you’d like to see in your marriage. Consider what the Law would communicate about that problem and what...2020-06-1612 min
Life in RelationshipAlways Growing: Marriage RockstarsWho are Your Marriage Rockstars? Who do we look to in our culture(s) or as couples to tell us what marriage should look like or be like? Read John 6:67-68. Where does God tell us to go? What difference does the Word of God make in discerning what our marriages should look like? Who are your marriage rockstars? Wellness exercise: If you currently have marriage mentors, give them a call, a card, or a text to say h...2020-06-1114 min
Life in RelationshipAlways Growing: The Power of PursuitThe Power of Pursuit What are your communications like on a day to day basis? What parts of the statement, “Pursuit is still necessary,” do you agree or disagree with? What benefits are there to still pursuing our spouse in marriage? Song of Songs 8:5-6 What gets in the way of sacrificially pursuing our spouse, both personally and for people in general? Wellness exercise: Consider two ways you can sacrificially pursue your spouse this week...2020-06-0914 min
Life in RelationshipAlways Growing: Riding the Storms Always Growing...in Marriage Riding the Storms What storms of life come into people’s marriages? What kind of storms or changes have you experienced in your marriage? Matthew 8:24-25 How can we remind one another we are in it together? Wellness exercise: Practice praying together once a day, holding hands, for 5 days straight. YouTube video link: https://youtu.be/g-ccQmXC-Ls2020-06-0412 min
Life in RelationshipAlways Growing: The Marriage SandwichThe Marriage Sandwich What might your marriage sandwich check-ins look like? What rituals of connection do you already have? How does your stage of life impact your ability to connect and check in with one another? How do you ease the transitions in your days? Wellness exercise: Consider times you have connected well and other times you have not connected well. Acknowledge both to one another and ask God to forgive the hurts and praise Him for the s...2020-06-0212 min
Life in RelationshipAlways Growing: Marriage in a Fallen World Marriage and the Fallen World How does the culture around you view people? How do you think those cultural views impact marriages, your own and others? In other worlds, why does the fallen world matter in marriage? John 1:16 What opportunity do you see in recognizing the fallenness in your own marriage? Where do you see grace alive in your marriage? Wellness exercise: Consider three ways you can bring more grace and forgiveness in your marriage today. 2020-05-2812 min
Life in RelationshipAlways Growing: Same and Different Same and Different What is the same about the two of you? What is different about the two of you? Ephesians 2:10 What are the tattoo discussions in your marriage? How can do we grow by talking things out and how do we grow by letting something go for a time? Wellness exercise: Celebrate your sameness and your differences together today in some way. YouTube video link: https://youtu.be/R6bbcf...2020-05-2612 min
Life in RelationshipTen Minutes of ChurchUnpacking the baggage of the word “Church” What is it? Body of Christ, believers, gathering around the Word together The church in transformation Very basic: Matthew 18:20 local community Gathering/meeting together Moderate concept: Little c and Big C Church The family unit as mini-church Encouraging and building one another up Hebrews 10:24-25 Acts 2:46-47 Colossians 3:16 Advanced: We will all look different as individuals and as churches We have different functions and contexts Romans 12:4-52020-04-2811 min
Life in RelationshipTen Minutes of LaughterQuestion of the day: Is God too serious? God has a sense of humor, which is one of the reasons we have a sense of humor. Why do we have a hard time seeing God as playful? Then our mouth was filled with laughter, and our tongue with shouts of joy; then they said among the nations, “The LORD has done great things for them.” Psalm 126:2 Psalm 126 God’s promise of salvation includes our mourning turning to laughter. Laughter is good for our p...2020-04-2112 min
Life in RelationshipTen Minutes of JourneyingEpisode 15 – Ten Minutes of Journey Growth-orientation of the faith walk: God bringing me from where I’m at to where He wants me to be. Long history of journeying in Scripture, since the garden of Eden and onward: Hebrews 11:9-11 1 Chronicles 29:15 – Old Testament understanding of journeying Distraction culture, good tools, and dialing into the journey Journey through many different landscapes Looking for different directions Proverbs 3:5–6 Proverbs 16:9 We anguish o...2020-04-2110 min
Life in RelationshipTen Minutes of EmpathySharing humanity with one another “Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep” (Romans 12:15) Empathy takes time Empathy takes energy Sympathy stays on the surface The place of worth in giving empathy The place of capability in giving empathy Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God and afflicted. (Isaiah 53:4) Isaiah 53:1-7 - Suffering servant Galatians 6:2-5 Independence, dependence, and interdependence “We do not have a High Priest who cannot...2020-04-0711 min
Life in RelationshipGod of All ComfortEpisode 12 – Grief: God of All Comfort Intro – grief patch story from: https://heidigoehmann.com/blog/loss-and-grief-grief-without-shame 2 Corinthians 1:3-5 (ESV) Psalm 10:14 (NIV) God is thoughtful about our grief and holds our grief with us. So we are: thoughtful about grief for one another, and we help one another hold the grief and the weight of that grief Psalm 34:17-18 (NIV) God of All Comfort = God of all losses Exercise: write down all the losses that y...2020-03-3116 min
Life in RelationshipThe Many Types of LossWhat is loss? Gravis (Latin) to weigh down Gravare (Latin) to make heavy Grever (Old French) to burden or afflict It's ok to ask lots of questions. It's ok to struggle. Open the Word, gather with supportive people. What kinds of loss come to mind for you when we talk about the idea of loss and grief? There is no rushing loss and grief. There is no hierarchy of loss or grief. We witness to one another's struggle, and we witness His Word and what...2020-03-1727 min
Life in RelationshipThe Truth about Mental Health: It's Complicated (Part 2)2-part series – complicated things we experience in our mental health internally complicated things we experience in our mental health externally Blog series at heidigoehmann.com – The Many Sides of Mental Health https://heidigoehmann.com/blog/not-so-simple-the-many-sides-of-mental-health Dualities in mental health we are covering in this series: Agency (choice) and happenstance Relationships and self-differentiation Worth and Humility Acceptance and Constant Work Microaggressions and Good Intentions Apathy and Passion Age 4 and Age 40 Making peace with a bit of mystery and the complications of life...2020-02-1118 min
Life in RelationshipThe Truth about Mental Health: It's Complicated2-part series – complicated things we experience in our mental health internally complicated things we experience in our mental health externally Blog series at heidigoehmann.com – The Many Sides of Mental Health https://heidigoehmann.com/blog/not-so-simple-the-many-sides-of-mental-health Paradox and duality and the complications of life Mental Health brushes up against: morality lifestyle choices the weird and wildness of our bodies relationships What dualities exist around us and in our life? dualities of God https://heidigoehmann.com/the-mighty-and-the-mysterious Examples of dualities in our...2020-01-2823 min
Life in RelationshipDive Deeper: Good GiftsEpisode 8 – Dive Deeper: Good Gifts Happy Release Day! Happy Book Birthday! The many things in life we would easily call good Good = complicated What does God say is good v. what I say is good - heidigoehmann.com/blog/what-does-god-call-good A Reading from Good Gifts Addressing the concept of congruence Study overview – 6 weeks or segments, 4 days or readings in each, average of 3 pages each Embedded questions and discoveries with white space for thou...2020-01-1415 min
Life in RelationshipCourage (and JOMO)Episode 7 - Courage (and JOMO) Vulnerability Recap: It chooses to see the bigger picture. It’s connecting. It's a spiritual practice. Episodes in this series: Vulnerability (and Boudaries) Lack (and Enough) What is courage? internal processes external relational experience Courage is relational and sacrificial. Simon Sinek: https://youtu.be/fQjnW3_78a8 Courage is vulnerable. Brene Brown: https://youtu.be/PVynHlI1fac Courage comes from encouragement, not just mental stamina. Joshua 1:1-9 Courage isn’t only from the...2019-12-0317 min
Life in RelationshipLack (and Enough)Episode 6 – Lack (and Enough) New series: Episode 5: Vulnerability (and Boundaries) Episode 6: Lack (and Enough) Episode 7: Courage (and JOMO) What is lack? Lack can be real, but hyperawareness creates scarcity Where do we see it in individuals, families, and the church? (and what's the result) 1 fear and shame 2 hyperawareness and fixation v awareness of what we need 3 tucking in rather than connecting 4 never satisfied, running on empty Lack as an individual What dynamics play into our experience of lack v enough?2019-11-2624 min
Life in RelationshipVulnerability (and Boundaries)Episode 5 – Vulnerability (and Boundaries) New series: Episode 5: Vulnerability (and Boundaries) Episode 6: Lack (and Enough) Episode 7: Courage (and JOMO) Vulnerability Definitions - the good, bad, and ugly New definition: Brene Brown, Daring Greatly https://amzn.to/2pYlyE2 (affiliate link) Vulnerability mantra or repeated phrase: “Because I love God, I love people. I will be vulnerable.” Vulnerability without grace on the return closes the relationship Vulnerability with grace = safety and growth God the Father as the Safest Space 3 Concepts of Str...2019-11-1922 min
Life in RelationshipThe Mystery of PrayerEpisode 4 – Mystery of Prayer Special Guest: Michelle Diercks, Peace in His Presence Podcast https://michellediercks.com/podcast/ Mighty and Mysterious Release episode with Heidi: http://traffic.libsyn.com/michellediercks/heidi.mp3 Colossians 3:15-17 A Reading from The Mighty and The Mysterious, pg. 179 Where do dwelling and prayer connect? Making time for God Reading the Word Listening to music about God Awareness of His presence Bob Goff quote – Love Does https://amzn.to/2odEwpr 2019-10-2223 min
Life in RelationshipThe Mystery of the Church Episode 3 – Mystery of Church A reading from the Mighty & The Mysterious, pg. 214 – a little glimpse into the Church on Earth The Church = people, community, life together Perfect & Far from Perfect Broken & Redeemed Order and organization + Family Life How is the church mysterious like family? How would the church look different if we treated it like a family? Family life -> church life Affection Ephesians 5 Song of Songs Value of eac...2019-10-0820 min
Life in RelationshipThe Mystery of RelationshipsEpisode 2 – Mystery of Relationship Intro: God as the Great Connector mystery to God’s connecting work the gift of God’s connecting work Know and Being Known Genesis 1 Genesis 2:18-25 – the creation of marriage, not just marriage Knowing with God the connection of grace to knowing – forgiveness, questions, confessing our stuff, telling him our difficult emotions and pain What could we ask God if we had no shame before Him? Knowing with our Family and Friends Is there anyone you feel you can be your true s...2019-09-2425 min
Life in RelationshipThe Mystery of GodWelcome to Season 3! Episode 1 – The Mighty Mystery of God 4 Episode series: The Mighty Mystery of God The Mighty Mystery of Relationships The Mighty Mystery of Prayer The Mighty Mystery of the Church Episode Design- this mystery’s impact on our relationship with God, our relationship with others, and our relationships within the church Mystery of God 101 It’s time to become OK with questions. God is not deceptive. God is mighty. He is bigg...2019-09-1019 min
Life in RelationshipLife in Relationship Season 3 TrailerName change time! I Love My Shepherd -----> Life in Relationship What's coming at you this season? Where do I get the resources? First episode drops September 10th. In the meantime, visit me at heidigoehmann.com YouTube @heidigoehmannwrites Facebook @heidigoehmannwrites Instagram @heidigoehmann Snapchat @heidiadventures 2019-08-2001 min
Life in RelationshipWritten in Iron Ink: Prodigal MercyILMS25 – WII: Prodigal Mercy Release Date: May 14 Special Guest: Paula Isakson, Faith Family Reunions Paula’s Story The “I Don’t Know” Moment The connection between childhood experience and faith development We all have shame and grace moments Lies we believe and the whiny voice God writes our testimonies Restoration is better than what we started with Law as a shape for grace Looking forward to the reunion in heaven Shame is nothing in Jesus Who helps you sort through Who God is?...2019-05-1429 min
Life in RelationshipYA: StillILMS24 – YA: Still Release Date: May 7 Psalm 46:10-11 Let’s take a poll – How many of you want to live your best life? How many of you want to live a junky life, or even a so-so life? What do people need for their best life? (Consider as a group or on your own.) Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs https://www.simplypsychology.org/maslow.html We look at this list and can see some...2019-05-0715 min
Life in RelationshipTen Minutes of CompassionIMLS 23 - Ten Minutes of Compassion Ten Minute Truth #1 - Compassion assumes some discomfort Ten Minute Truth #2 - Compassion includes the "and" of truth and mercy What about discipline and truth? Psalm 119:77 -Let your mercy come to me, that I may live; for your law is my delight. Ten Minute Truth #3 - compassion includes a “but” Nehemiah 9:16-19a Ten Minute Truth #4 – love them anyway We are going to need it ourselves Mark 6 Matthew 9 h...2019-05-0212 min
Life in RelationshipAltogether Beautiful: Middle Schoolers and TeensILMS 22 – Altogether Beautiful: Middle Schoolers and Teens Altogether Beautiful Identity Concept of the Sense of Self They are asking: What are my personal values and beliefs? What are my goals? What are my ideas? Can I share them? Ask: What they think about a current event? A big topic? Build trust by listening, with no judgement, freedom to disagree, gentle guidance/boundaries Dealing with comparison Say: You are beautiful. But also You are strong. You are smart. You me...2019-04-1047 min
Life in RelationshipMinistry Talks: Friendship and MinistryILMS 20 – Ministry Talks: Friendship and Ministry 1 Samuel 14:1-7 - Jonathan and his armor bearer Step One of Friendship: Prayer Step Two: Admitting friendship isn’t easy Friendship will continue to be a challenge as long as we walk the earth - God = relational, Genesis 2:25 - Satan likes isolation - dual relationships - Ministry and friendship are both personal Step Three: Vulnerability = walking into a situation exposed - no hiding - Boundaries with fl...2019-04-0440 min
Life in RelationshipYA: BroughtILMS 21 – YA: Brought The best way to make sense of God’s work in destruction is to remember what He is done and Who He is. Psalm 46:8-9 Come, behold the works of the Lord, how he has brought desolations on the earth. He makes wars cease to the end of the earth; he breaks the bow and shatters the spear; he burns the chariots with fire. Brought Desolations End to war The grey area of destruction God does destroy and all...2019-04-0412 min
Life in RelationshipTen Minutes of ConsolationILMS 19 – Ten Minutes of Consolation Consolation – “…the comfort received by a person after a loss or disappointment; a person or thing providing comfort to a person who has suffered…” (google dictionary) Ten minute truth #1 – There are many and various losses and griefs of life Ten Minutes Truth #2 – There are two types of consolation we can offer people: The wrong way – Job 2 The Jesus way – John 11 Ten Minute Truth #3 – The power of showing up Philippians 2:1-2 Ten Minutes Truth #4...2019-03-2810 min
Life in RelationshipYA: WithILMS 18 – YA: With We often formulate our ideas of God based on our ideas of people. Psalm 46:7 7 The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. This is a refrain of Psalm 46 Refrain: something repeated Question: Why might this be a useful chorus to repeat to ourselves or one another in our own lives? What kinds of things happen in the Psalm and in our lives that draw us to remember and need God? What kinds of things cause us to forget Go...2019-03-2317 min
Life in RelationshipTen Minutes of AgapeILMS 17 – Ten Minutes of Agape With Pastor Matt Schuler What in the world is Agape? Ten Minute Truth #1 - Agape = sacrificial love Sacrificial love v love for my pizza What do we do when relationships disappoint? Ten Minute Truth #2 - Agape = love that isn’t disrupted by anything Romans 8:38-39 – What can separate us from God’s Agape Love? Bethel Music – You Make Me Brave https://youtu.be/MLgpFMWboYw Ten Minute Trut...2019-03-1412 min
Life in RelationshipYA: VoiceShow notes: The nations rage, the kingdoms totter; he utters his voice, the earth melts. – Psalm 46:6 What images come to mind from this verse?How do people generally picture the end of the world? Hebrews 1:1-3 Just like us, God speaks in different ways, speaking different messages at the different times we need them. Sometimes God speaks loud and sometimes God speaks soft. Examples of God’s voice in the OT- Find the example in each, how and where is God speaking.What do we learn about G...2019-02-0513 min
Life in RelationshipMinistry Talks: 6 Ministry Marriage DynamicsILMS 15 – Ministry Talks: 6 Dynamics of Ministry and Marriage Vocation and amplification Marriage Dynamic 1 – What’s Love and Respect Got to Do with it? criticism and sensitivity questions and practical suggestions Marriage Dynamic 2 –They appreciate me! Communicate early and often: Ministry is not less when done at home State what you need Assume the best Get very creative Marriage Dynamic 4 – I don’t want to burden him/her! The crazy caregiver cycle...2019-01-3134 min
Life in RelationshipTen Minutes of JoyILMS 14 – Ten Minutes of Joy With Matt Schuler For the moment and eternally Psalms emphasis on Joy, worshipful John 16:22 – Jesus’s promise of Joy in Him, no one can take away Grief transformed – looking to the Psalms James 1:2-3 – joy in trials…for real? Delight Biblically related to time with God, awareness of God working, time in God’s Word Matthew 28 – the resurrection of Joy Paradox and joy Mat...2019-01-2411 min
Life in RelationshipYA: HelpShow notes- YA: Help Fun Question: What kinds of New Year’s resolutions do people make? - Health - Money - Relationships - School/Work Psalm 46:1-5, focus on v. 5 The sandwich of Help in Psalm 46, verse 1 and 5 Look at one example in the Bible of needing help and not asking for it, and one of wisely asking for help: Exodus 18:13-17 Acts 6:1-6 What do you need help with? ...2019-01-0115 min
Life in RelationshipMinistry Talks: Wellness for the Church Work StudentMinistry Talks 12 – Wellness for the Church Work Student Physical wellness Intellectual wellness Spiritual Wellness Emotional Wellness Relational Wellness Vocational Wellness Wisdom from students Wisdom from professors Wisdom from other church workers Special thanks to: Julianna Shults, YA Corps - https://www.lcms.org/young-adult-corps Dave Rueter, author and ministry leader Deaconess Kristin Wassilak, Concordia University Chicago...2018-12-2740 min
Life in RelationshipYA: GladILMS 11 – YA: Glad YA series – ilovemyshepherd.com/ya Psalm 46:4 4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy habitation of the Most High. What do you picture the place where God dwells? Where does God live? We are His habitation! Why this matters… Sometimes life feels like a big ball of Christmas lights What can God do with that giant ball of Christmas lights? Psalm 16:8-10...2018-12-0613 min
Life in RelationshipThe Truth about Mental Health: SuicidalityILMS9 - The Truth about Mental Health: Suicidality Suicide Prevention Hotline - https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ Special guests: Brandon Hamilton, student, hiphop artist; Joshua Mertz, teacher Podcast Outline Brandon’s Song The Ocean of Social Media Body Image John 10:10 Making faith your own Just be the friend – be there for one person One Last Breath on YouTube - https://youtu.be/KEV9ZPqKWqw Koinonia g...2018-11-2929 min
Life in RelationshipMinistry Talks 11: Holidays and the Ministry FamilyThe struggle and joy of church work and holidaysThe struggle and joy of church work and holidays Applying the ScripturesLoneliness factor:Psalm 68:4-6 Envy factor:1 Corinthians 3:3 1 Corinthians 13:4Proverbs 14:30 1) Keeping it in perspective- The weight of holidays in the US 64% effected by the Holiday blues - https://www.nami.org/Blogs/NAMI-Blog/November-2015/Tips-for-Managing-the-Holiday-Blues Remember that children are resilient, but sensitive 2) Christ came for you- Take each holiday and apply it to yourself Help family apply it to them 3) Getting Cre...2018-11-2230 min
Life in RelationshipThe Truth about Mental Health: Teens and EmotionsILMS 8 - The Truth about Mental Health: Emotions + YA: Tremble Psalm 46:3 Internal and external turmoil HCSB – “though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with its turmoil.” What in the world feels chaotic, or adds to the turmoil of life? Goal: We want our emotions to inform us, rather than lead us. How do you like to let your emotions out, rather than roiling inside? 6 common spectrums of emotion: 1 – Warmth...2018-11-1521 min
Life in RelationshipThe Truth about Mental Health: DepressionILMS 7 – The Truth about Mental Health: Depression Guest: Pastor Gabe Kasper I Love My Shepherd Mental Health Core Value: Everyone has it. Connections of physical, relational, mental, and emotional health. Gabe’s story Symptoms of depression – anxiety, insomnia, spiral thinking, panic attack, loss of focus, loss of motivation, frequent crying, desire to escape, suicidality and suicide ideation Triggers and life transitions The emotional spiral God’s work in our spiral When life doesn’t make sense He co...2018-11-0834 min
Life in RelationshipYA: MovedILMS 6 - YA: Moved Psalm 46:1-3 God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. 2 Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, 3 though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling. Fun question: What mountains have you been to? Where? What did you think? What pictures have you seen of mountains? What stood out? Who controls the mountains? What is scary about the...2018-10-2513 min
Life in RelationshipILMS 5 – WII: Divorce, Forgiveness, and New BeginningsILMS 5 – WII: Divorce, Forgiveness, and New Beginnings Guest: Donna Pyle Young, fresh, and finding Jesus What does genuine warmth look like for visitors in the church? Brokenness and Restoration making some kind of peace with our past those who hurt to see us hurt God is not a puppeteer Forgiveness anger has its place when life feels like a hurricane the place of counseling walking through forgiveness, rather than obtaining forgiveness Forgiveness the book - https://amzn.to/2Ij9ulN 2018-10-1826 min
Life in RelationshipMinistry Talks: Calls, Callings, and the Ministry FamilyILMS 4 - Ministry Talks: Calls, Callings, and the Ministry Family A calling on our lives – purposes, plans, and Jesus God holds the power, we simply are stewards of that Over emphasis of any one vocation is a problem. Family Vocation, Veith and Moerbe - https://www.amazon.com/Family-Vocation-Marriage-Parenting-Childhood/dp/1433524066/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1535474057&sr=8-1&keywords=family+vocation What responsibility and accountability is attached to a professional call or calling? What tension is there in this and how doe...2018-10-1127 min
Life in RelationshipMinistry Moment: Community Prayer WalkILMS 3 – Ministry Moments: Community Prayer Walk Guest – Pastor B.J. Fouts Connection and disconnection in communities The Great Commission Matthew 28:16-20 Starting with our neighbors in our backyard Sometimes it’s harder to start a conversation with our actual neighbors One prayer walk in a small town community: Goal = visible ministry arm praying for our community The who, what where, when, and why! Praying for one another Praying for our country and community (2 Chronicles 7) Praying...2018-10-0418 min
Life in RelationshipYA: PresentShow notes: What are your worries or concerns? Your highs and lows? What do you think your friends are going through or your family?When you look around you at school, work, your neighborhood, the world – what concerns do you see? Three segments to today’s study: He is with us when things look bleak. He is with us when things look better. He is with us when things look best. Bleak: Is God disinterested? Is God angry or mean? What...2018-09-1318 min
Life in RelationshipJesus in Everything: Red Party CupsShow notes: When was the last time you held a red party cup? Do we have a celebratory God? What opportunities did Jesus take at parties? What opportunities do we have at parties or celebratory moments? What kind of grounding do we have or seek to prepare to be in difficult places and situations? Safety and the red party cup ilovemyshepherd.com YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCd0fe9BbadMkIZwWx-esd-g Facebook - @ilovemyshepherd Twitter - @ilovemyshepherd ...2018-09-0611 min
Life in RelationshipMinistry Talks – Freedom in MinistryMinistry Talks 4 – Freedom in Ministry Foundations for Freedom in this life: Galatians 5:1 John 10:10 Roadblocks to Freedom in Ministry Life Status v. Weakness Forgetting the Sinner/Saint duality Expectations Our Worth “God’s Will” What expectations have you felt the weight of in ministry? What expectations have you put on yourself? What expectations have you felt from other people? Which roadblock to freedom have y...2018-08-0126 min
Life in RelationshipMinistry Talks IntroMinistry Talks 1 Intro Welcome to a new series from I Love My Shepherd - Ministry Talks! Are you in part-time or full- time ministry? Do you have a ministry degree or background? Is your husband or your wife in ministry? This video series is intended to share insights around the Word about the unique joys, as well as the unique challenges to ministry life. We'll talk about the tensions of all that is good and hard in ministry, talk about the ministry's impact on home and family life, and en...2018-08-0105 min
Life in RelationshipMinistry Talks – Intersections of the Ministry HouseMinistry Talks 2 – Intersections of the Ministry House Foundations for our homes Psalm 127:1 – No labor you do is in vain. The Lord is at work- in your home, your ministry, and anywhere you are in your community. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 Do ministry in “God’s House,” the church, but also in the other areas of our lives. Ministry within our home is not “less than” ministry at church or with people from our churches/communities. Our families need us also and God works in that and calls it ministry. 1 Timothy 3:1-5 We...2018-08-0114 min
Life in RelationshipMinistry Talks – Church Work ChildrenMinistry Talks 3 – Church Work Children Opening the conversation for our children and families about church work and faith life Church as a Safe Place Developmentally children have a hard time with abstract concepts of grace, mercy, and the big ideas we want them to learn We teach them in many ways around the Word with words but primarily children understand faith and God’s work through the Word with experiences and relationships Church can feel like a dark place at times, even though it “should” be light-filled and darkness can be scary.2018-08-0127 min
Life in RelationshipMinistry Talks – Discouragement in MinistryMinistry Talks 5 – Discouragement in Ministry Where have you felt discouragement in life? In the Christian walk? In ministry? The power of normalizing and naming it - Discouragement is normal and not shameful - Apostle Paul and discouragement John 16:33 ESV - tribulation NIV – trials and sorrows Greek = thlipsin/thlipsis = pressure, that which rubs http://biblehub.com/interlinear/john/... What tensions do you have in ministry or at your church? Where do you experience...2018-08-0122 min
Life in RelationshipMinistry Talks – Top Ten Reasons to Take a VacationMinistry Talks 6 – Top Ten Reasons to Take a Vacation Two massive things in the way of vacation – time and money Creativity is often a must, but here are 10 reasons why vacations can’t go by the wayside in ministry life... Ecclesiastes 3:9-14 1 – Rest Conversations about what rest is Biblically Run Hard, Rest Well https://runhardrestwell.com/ Sleep – Ted Talk, Why do we Sleep? https://www.ted.com/talks/russell_fos... 2 – Recharge Inspiration fatigue What gives y...2018-08-0133 min
Life in RelationshipMinistry Talks - The Dark Side of the ChurchMinistry Talks 7 - The Dark Side of the Church 6 realities that can make the church feel a little dark at times… John 17:13-19 - foundation of light and dark, world and God’s people Reality #1 - It will always be a challenge to help the world understand the church. not a distraction, part of ministry inherent to being in the world, not of the world In the world is a good thing, from God The Light of Christ and the Lighthouse of the Word Compassion in knowing a world...2018-08-0136 min
Life in RelationshipMinistry Talks - When Ministry Needs a ResurrectionMinistry Talks 8 - When Ministry Needs a Resurrection: Waiting, Rest, and A Fresh Start Go through 1 OT account of resurrection, 2 NT account of resurrection, and I’ll give you a few psalms to consider and take with you to contemplate. All have unique insights for when ministry just really needs new, fresh, and something more, a resurrection. 4 sections to today’s study: Admitting when all is not well Connecting the pieces of Grace, freedom, and joy Easter Saturday Ministry Rest and RESToration 1) Admitting when all is not well...2018-08-0138 min
Life in RelationshipMinistry Talks - Ministry Talks: Finances and BudgetingMinistry Talks 9 - Ministry Talks: Finances and Budgeting Psalm 24:1 Matthew 25:14-30 Matthew 25:24 How do we see God? How do we see God in relation to money? we know him to be an abundant God, but that can be hard to live in careful of separating flesh and spirit How are we giving? - Looks different for everyone - Where has God brought us from in giving (money, time, grace) and what is He d...2018-08-0132 min
Life in RelationshipThe Truth about Mental Health: RestILMS 61 - The Truth about Mental Health: REST Special Guest: Brenda Jank from Run Hard Rest Well Marva Dawn - Keeping the Sabbath Wholly Misconceptions about keeping the Sabbath - Brenda’s, ours, the worlds - mangaling God’s gifts Personal retreats rest well listen carefully produce nothing The intentional work of tasting rest the gift and challenge of children the gift of grace over guilt permission from our loved ones to rest transitions and our need for...2018-05-2430 min
Life in RelationshipTen Minutes of CourageILMS 60 - Ten Minutes of Courage My small obsession with Sherlock “I think that you know me well enough, Watson, to understand that I am by no means a nervous man. At the same time, it is stupidity rather than courage to refuse to recognize danger when it is close upon you.” ~ The Final Problem by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle Ten Minute Truth #1 - God does not condemn us for our fear. Ten Minute Truth #2 - Sometimes we need to “take” courage. Mark 15:43 sometimes courage looks l...2018-05-1711 minLife in RelationshipTen Minutes of FearDistinguishing Fear, Anxiety, and Worry http://ilovemyshepherd.libsyn.com/distinguishing-anxiety-fear-and-worry “Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It's about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.” Brene Brown - The Gifts of Imperfection In the midst of… Genesis 15:1 Red Sea and the Army - Exodus 14 Number 21:34 Luther’s Small Catechism - “fear, love and trust in God” God is not a...2018-05-1711 minLife in RelationshipTen Minutes of HolyILMS 58 - Ten Minutes of Holy Occurrences of the word Holy 611 in ESV 639 in NLT 565 in HCSB 551 in NIV 546 in KJV 1 Corinthians 6 1 Peter 2:9 GREEK hagios = fundamental meaning is “different” http://biblehub.com/greek/40.htm Revelation 4:8 Love Does by Bob Goff - Loving big and being different shouldn’t be such an out there concept ilovemyshepherd.com YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/channel...2018-05-1711 minLife in RelationshipTen Minutes of PatienceILMS 59 - Ten Minutes of Patience What are the things and people in life that refine your patience? How is patience different Biblically than our basic understanding of patience? Ten Minute Truth #1 - God is in charge, so we can stay in the present. Jesus is always present - through His time on earth and also in His Spirit now. Impatience = wishing away what we have right now Ten Minute Truth #2 - Technology and devices aren’t evil, but do imp...2018-05-1711 minLife in RelationshipJesus in Everything: DoorsILMS 56 - Jesus in Everything: Doors Red door Article from Concordia Publishing House blog - Open Doors, Closed, Doors: Friends, family, drama, and boundaries John 10:7-11 Balance! Safe spaces - away from danger in His presence on the internet to create relationship Those giant cathedral doors and the importance of invitation Joining Jesus on His Mission -https://dwelling114.org/ ilovemyshepherd.com YouTub...2018-05-0312 minLife in RelationshipWritten in Iron Ink: Tending MarriageILMS 55 - Written in Iron Ink: Tending Marriage Leah Heffner from leahheffner.com and Life Around the Coffee Cup The ripple effect God of the Overflowing Cup (Psalm 23) Resting on the foundation when it’s hard Building up one another’s marriage Friendships that build marriage with accountability Praying together for our marriages Leaning in and waiting when it’s hard Who are your people? There isn’t a template. 2018-04-1932 min
Life in RelationshipTen Minutes of CommendableILMS 52 — Commendable What things in this life are commendable? Leadership and commendable Arnold H. Glasow https://www.phoneburner.com/blog/8-inspiring-leadership-quotes-2/ Ten Minute Truth #1- It is commendable to commendable others and Jesus rather than self. Praising the Fruits of the Sprit Ten Minute Truth #2 - Paul commends the practice of faith, not just the knowledge of faith. 1 Corinthians 11:2 Being the Gloves of Jesus Ten Minute Truth #3 - Paul also cal...2018-03-3100 minLife in RelationshipTen Minutes of LovelyILMS 51 — Lovely What would you describe as lovely? Ten Minute Truth #1 - We are looking for lovely. Biblically lovely is applied to God’s creation, God’s dwelling place, and relationships. Ten Minute Truth #2 - Communicating “you are lovely” is complicated. - There is vulnerability in sharing what is lovely about someone. - I see myself differently than those that love me see me. Ten Minute Truth #3 - God calls us lovely. Song of Songs 6:4 delicate is be...2018-03-3111 minLife in RelationshipTen Minutes of Worthy of PraiseILMS 54 —Worthy of Praise What things around you are worthy of praise? Ten Minute Truth #1 - The Creator is worthy of praise. God reveals Himself in His Word and in His creation. Ten Minute Truth #2 - It’s easy to praise everything but the Creator. Ed White, astronaut quote- http://time.com/3739536/americas-first-space-walk-edward-white-makes-history-june-1965/ What things around us do we praise that are only meant to highlight Him? Ten Minute Truth #3 - Christ on His Mercy Seat is c...2018-03-3100 minLife in RelationshipTen Minutes of ExcellentILMS 53 — Excellent What says excellent to you in the world around you? Ten Minute Truth #1- God does value excellence. He is Holy and Excellent. Matthew 5:28 God expects excellence. Ten Minute Truth #2 - The culture is searching for things which are excellent. Matt and Kim lyrics - *warning: explicit content warning https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JyVzPx4ecHA Ten Minute Truth #3 - Jesus fulfills excellent for us. Hebrews 1:4 H...2018-03-3100 minLife in RelationshipTen Minutes of PureILMS 50 — Pure What is a pure heart? Mathew 5:8 1 Timothy 1:5 Ten Minute Truth #1 - We only half-heartedly want a pure heart. Ten Minute Truth #2 - A pure heart comes from some uncomfortable refining. - when God works on us and in us there are going to be some things He takes out of us - what idols are we clinging to that are comfortable - what idols are chasing us - the cycle of sin can often come beca...2018-03-1700 minLife in RelationshipTen Minutes of JusticeILMS 49 —Ten Minutes of Justice Violence and a culture searching for justice Ten Minute Truth #1 - We often want the benefit of the doubt for ourselves, but rarely give it to our neighbor. Ten Minute Truth #2 - Justice doesn’t have a simple solution, and it has only one solution. Job 38 - we think we know the right answers, but only God does - we will never see justice apart from Jesus Think on These- https://www.amazon.com/Think-These-Philippians-Heidi-Goehmann/dp/1536928631 Ten...2018-03-1700 minLife in RelationshipTen Minutes of HonorIMLS 48 — Ten Minutes of Honor Cultural differences to consider - honor and shame - performance reward Ten Minute Truth #1 - Biblically, honor impacts more than just the individual. - connected across generations - community impact of actions Ten Minute Truth #2 - Honor is related to what we will and will not compromise. Number 22:15-21 What do we trade the Truth of God for in this world? - as individuals, as churches, as church bodies - qui...2018-03-1700 minLife in RelationshipTen Minutes of TruthILMS 47 – Ten Minutes of Truth Kendrick Lamar “All the Stars” - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yvOh7vVqlaE “You can’t bring the truth to me…” *warning: this song contains explicit lyrics Ten Minute Truth #1 - Share your own search for Truth with others to start the conversation. Ten Minute Truth #2 - Truth matters in family to have naked and unashamed relationships. What’s love got to do with it? 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 truth is both law and Gospel no longer hi...2018-03-1700 min