Shows
Definitely Not ExpertsInsanity, Adrenochrome, Pizzagate, Dan Schneider, Tetris, Helldivers II, Judas
Heston, Nick, and Ben take a deep hell dive into some popular conspiracies without the protection of tin foil hats.
2024-02-261h 06
Definitely Not ExpertsThe Super Bowl, Commercials, Hole-in-One, MeatCanyon, Kanye's Teeth and Racist SportsThis week Heston, Ben, and Nick recap the Super Bowl and the commercials. They take a look at their new favorite sport? Golf.
Kanye has new teeth and guess what the most racist sport is?
2024-02-191h 00
Definitely Not ExpertsLebron?, Mini-Golf Masters, NHL Skills, European Basketball, Horrific Statues, and Tyson Fury KarmaHeston, Ben, and Nick talk Skin Walkers and professional Mini-Golfers. They compare the atmosphere of European basketball to the NBA, take a look at some unsettling sports statues an admire the skills of NHL players.
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Hate the show? Leave us a comment.
2024-02-151h 00
Definitely Not Experts49er vs Lions, NFL Coaching Hires and Vince McMahonThis week on the podcast Ben and Heston watch the 49ers take on the Lions in the NFC Championship Game. They go around the NFL and talk about the new coaching hires as well as the notably unemployed. Finally, they take a deep dive into the disgusting allegation against Vince McMahon.
This episode is extremely graphic and not suitable for children.
Leave us your thoughts in the comments.
2024-02-0755 min
Definitely Not ExpertsPackers Lose, UFC 297 Recap, NFL Playoffs Divisional Round, RNR, JesusOn this weeks podcast Heston vents about the Packers' heartbreaking loss, Ben gives us a recap of UFC 297, the boys watch some divisional football, Rough N Rowdy and discuss what life would be like if Jesus were here.
If you're interested in watching future UFC Fight Nights and PPVs with Ben and Nick you can find those here @https://www.youtube.com/@TheUltimateFightCompanion
2024-01-2651 minDefinitely Not ExpertsPackers Obliterate Cowboys, Black Monday, Goff better than Stafford?, UFC 297 and Boxing PreviewsHeston and Ben talk about the upsetting (fantastic) performance in the Packers vs Cowboys matchup, Black Monday and what it means for the 2024 regular season outlook. They react to Skip Bayless and Michael Irving's takes, the Lions vs Rams game, and take a look into the upcoming UFC 297 event as well as newly announce Boxing matches.
2024-01-2657 min
Definitely Not ExpertsDNE Ep 87: The Largest Comeback In NFL History. And Heston HATES It.Hello! And Welcome back to another episode of the sports show! Grab yourselves a glass of whatever makes you happy and join us as we discuss the largest comeback in NFL history, we witness another KO from ya boi Bud Crawford, and we check out the highlights for the World Cup final. Thank you again for the continued support and please sub to us on YouTube! We are almost to 1000 subs! Much love and happy holidays yall!
2022-12-221h 11Definitely Not ExpertsDOT Ep 83: RC Racing Is F***ing sick!YES WE HAVE A SECOND SHOW! NO HESTON HASNT BEEN UPLOADING THEM! Now that thats outta the way. Welcome back to another episode of the off topic show. This week we skydive from outer space, check out a pro RC racing championship, and watch the new Avatar trailer. We hope yall enjoy! And please, check us out on YouTube if you'd like to support us. It means a lot!
2022-12-0348 minDefinitely Not ExpertsDOT Ep 81: "When Have You Ever Seen Anyone Like That Before Heston!?"Hello! And welcome back to another episode of Definitely Off Topic. The boys are back with another wild episode that includes but is not limited to a whale watching close encounter, a shining example why you should always make sure that you take your contacts out, and a handful of crickets. Much love and thank you for the continued support! We are about to break 900. Lets start working towards 1000! I also just realized that our video uploads are now going to all listening platforms too as audio only uploads. So yall can expect that double uploads to stop. But...
2022-11-021h 08Definitely Not ExpertsDOT Ep 77: Shes Genetically MisbuiltHey! Hi! Hello! And welcome! To another episode of Definitely Off Topic! This one is another doozy. We get way too turnt, think we didnt record, only to "fix" the camera and STOP recording, and then have Heston throw up twice after the show. This is a long one. But im certain that youll enjoy your time with us. We appreciate the continued support and love all of you guys! If you arent already, please subscribe to us on YouTube. Were on our way to 800 subs. And we will be doing another hot food challenge at 1000.
2022-09-1844 minDefinitely Not ExpertsDOT Ep 77: Shes Genetically Misbuilt | Audio OnlyHey! Hi! Hello! And welcome! To another episode of Definitely Off Topic! This one is another doozy. We get way too turnt, think we didnt record, only to "fix" the camera and STOP recording, and then have Heston throw up twice after the show. This is a long one. But im certain that youll enjoy your time with us. We appreciate the continued support and love all of you guys! If you arent already, please subscribe to us on YouTube. Here is the audio only upload of the show. If youd like to find video check us out on...
2022-09-1843 min
Definitely Not ExpertsDNE Ep 76: Ronaldo Vs Messi | Audio OnlyHey guys! Heston here. Sorry. 10/10 been slackin on uploading audio files for the other platforms. If you are one of said other platforms and youd like to make sure not to miss any uploads or clips. Please check us out on YouTube. All of our uploads definitely go there every week. Much love you guys. And enjoy!
2022-08-3052 min
Definitely Not ExpertsDNE Ep 67: Heston Almost Died! Anyways, What Did We Miss? | Audio OnlyHey guys! Long story, Heston almost died a month ago. But now the boys are back! Even if Heston cant drink alcohol for a while. Doesnt mean were gunna stop clankin' so grab yourself a glass, fill it with whatever makes you happy, and join us as we catch up on the last month of sports that we missed.
2022-06-181h 36
Definitely Not ExpertsDNE Ep 67: Heston Almost Died! Anyways, What Did We Miss?Hey guys! Long story, Heston almost died a month ago. But now the boys are back! Even if Heston cant drink alcohol for a while. Doesnt mean were gunna stop clankin' so grab yourself a glass, fill it with whatever makes you happy, and join us as we catch up on the last month of sports that we missed.
2022-06-181h 37
Definitely Not ExpertsDOT EP 60: How Much Pain Are You Willing To Go Through For A Big Dick?Hey guys! As youll see about three quarters of the way through the episode. Heston apparently forgot to turn the camera on. However, we do get it turned on in time for Toktalks which is wonderful. We hope yall enjoy and we already have another episode in the pipeline to drop on Thursday this week alongside our regularly scheduled episodes. Much love and thank you for the continued support. Yall really are the best.
2022-04-021h 08Definitely Not ExpertsDNE Ep 61: Karen Fraudgers and Douggy PWhat's up everyone! On this week's episode, the bros dive into Ngannou's future in boxing, Dwyane Wade's son, and Heston's disappointment in the Green Bay Packers. So grab your drankey drank and come hang out with us.
Check out our Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/DefinitelyNotExperts
Check out Dame's Twitch channel! https://www.twitch.tv/damedot236
Join Our Discord! https://discord.gg/pxPjgQCDu8
Follow our Instagram! https://www.instagram.com/definitely.not.experts/
Check out our Friday Bangers playlist! https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6CkSPGGh3891a9mkpLQmhK?si=2ad727e63a104d8
2022-02-111h 14Definitely Not ExpertsDNE Ep 61: Karen Fraudgers and Douggy PWhat's up everyone! On this week's episode, the bros dive into Ngannou's future in boxing, Dwyane Wade's son, and Heston's disappointment in the Green Bay Packers. So grab your drankey-drank and come hang out with us.
Check out our Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/DefinitelyNot
Check out Dame's Twitch channel! https://www.twitch.tv/damedot236
Join Our Discord! https://discord.gg/pxPjgQCDu8
Follow our Instagram! https://www.instagram.com/definitely/
Check out our Friday Bangers playlist! https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6Ck
2022-02-101h 14Definitely Not ExpertsDOT Ep. 59: Let's Get DeepMarihoe fo sho is in the studio! Join the boys as they talk about Spider-Man: No Way Home, what it's like to be a dad, and Heston's view on marriage. So pour what makes you happy, sit back, and enjoy.
2022-01-171h 36
Definitely Not ExpertsDNE Ep 52: Were Back! Is Wentz The New Romo?Were back! Hello and welcome again! Heston got Ligma 19. Thats why weve been gone. We know were a tiny bit behind. But well catch up next week. But until then. Kick back, relax, and join the boys again for another great episode.
2021-09-151h 13
Definitely Not ExpertsDerrick Lewis Vs Cyril Gane, Team USA Gets Gold, And The Cowboys Are In Midseason FormHi! We missed a week (Heston missed a week) and were happy to be back! Enjoy this sports show that the UFC blocked! Much love and get fucked.
2021-08-1357 minDefinitely Not ExpertsHestons Original Movie Idea, Simultaneous Alternate Realities, And North Korean LifeHi! This episode has been done for a couple days. But Heston is a piece of shit. lol Enjoy this more comprehensible high Heston episode. Much love and get laid.
2021-08-1357 minDefinitely Not ExpertsDOT Ep 47: Welcome To McDonalds, Heston Isnt Going To Die, And Fapping Is Prohibited!Hello and welcome to McDonalds! Where the "ahhhhs" are fresh and the "mmmmms" are never frozen. Weve got some great videos this week. Women lose a couple points, Heston doesnt have cancer, and we lose our privilege's to beat off in the school toilet. We hope you enjoy and invite yall to join us on YouTube for full episodes and clipped conversations! Much love and get laid this weekend. *Clanks!
2021-07-161h 13
Definitely Not ExpertsDNE Ep 45: The UFC Cucked Us, CP3 Hugs His Family, And Cole Beasley Is Willing To Play For FreeHello! Its that time of the week again. HUMP DAYYY! And your favorite boys are back again to talk some sports with yall! This week we discuss the state of the NBA playoffs so far along with our reactions to the wild ride that was the series finale for the bucks and nets. CP3 gets cucked by the NBA. We talk a bit about Aaron Rodgers and find out why Heston has been quiet about it up until now. Then we dive deep in two insane boxing knockouts followed by an electric UFC Fight Night. We wrap things up...
2021-06-232h 37Definitely Not ExpertsDOT Ep 42: Jerked Sucked And F***ed, Amber Heard Gets Sued For All The Money, And Free GunsHello and welcome back to another wonderful episode of Definitely Off Topic. Heston's got alcohol back in his system so the energy is BACK! So we wont get cozy this week. Grab yourself a glass, fill it with whatever makes you happy, and buckle up for one hell of an episode. We start things off with a good Jerk and Suck, followed by discussions about the Boston Dynamics Humanoids, Free Guns, Banned Coca Cola, Amber Heard getting sued, and some wonderful tiktok videos. Join us on YouTube if you'd like to see us and the content were watching on...
2021-06-111h 21
Definitely Not ExpertsDNE Ep 41: NBA Playoffs Round 1, Bruins Players Fight Fans, And Yan Xiaonan Vs Carla EsparzaHello and welcome back to another spectacular episode of Football guy and basketball guy watch UFC videos. This week Heston's girlfriend Paige joins us and we hope you enjoy. Join us in turning our collective brains off while we discuss the NBA play in, Round 1 of the play offs, watch some CRAZY NHL clips, catch a couple fights, and end with a wild Tim Tebow conversation. Check us out on YouTube for individual conversations and video. Were on our way to our next subscriber milestone. So if you enjoy listening to us. We just ask that you support on...
2021-05-261h 41Definitely Not ExpertsDOT Ep 37: Dame Used To Be Homeless, Hestons Public Nudity, and Dame Wants You To Send Him HentaiHello! And Welcome! To your weekly programming of dummies and friends. We would like to wish you an early Happy Mothers Day and hope that if you're listening around that time. That we bring you a little bit of joy around the holiday. We've got a great episode for you guys this week including conversations about how Dame used to be homeless, Heston's recent experience with unplanned public nudity, Dames desire to be sent Hentai, and scarring yet another guest with another iteration of TokTalks. Go ahead and grab yourself a glass, fill it with whatever makes you happy...
2021-05-071h 45Definitely Not ExpertsOur Thoughts On Mortal Kombat, A Homemade Tank, and Adult Rated Toy StoryHello Hello! Its Friday and were excited to bring another episode Definitely Off Topic! We welcome Richard to the show this week and we all have the pleasure of diving into our review of Mortal Kombat, discuss Derek Chauvin's conviction, make a couple shoutouts, watch some movie trailers, and react to some internet videos. So turn your brains OFF, raise your glasses HIGH, and keep those Friday vibes GOOD. Always. Much love. *Clanks
2021-04-301h 47
Definitely Not ExpertsIs Nash Best For Brooklyn, We Live React to UFC 261, and Gronk Breaks A World RecordWere back again! Turn your brains OFF and raise your glasses HIGH. Weve got Richard joining us this week and were talking about the Nets, whether Steve Nash was qualified when he got hired, LeBron James' oopsie, live react to UFC 261, and watch Gronk break a world record. Yall are the best damn fanbase on the best damn planet. Much love. And keep those Friday vibes. Always. *Clanks.
2021-04-282h 07Definitely Not ExpertsThe Government Is Dog Water, The Boys Incriminate Themselves, and Some Orphan DuckiesHello Sluts! And welcome back to weekly programming of dummies with friends. Join us in turning our brains off for the next 107 minutes while we talk about some wack stuff the government is up to, Heston telling a great story about a birthday he went to this week, and check out our latest iteration of TokTalks! We appreciate the continued support and if you havent caught us eating the worlds hottest chip, check it out! Its on our YouTube and its a great video. Keep those Friday vibes and go get laid. Much love. *Clanks.
2021-04-231h 37
Definitely Not ExpertsWe Ate The Worlds Hottest Chip, Jake Paul Vs Ben Askren, and Wrestlemania 37Hello again! We join yall this week as new men. Men who have grown. Men who have eaten the worlds hottest chip. It sucked. But we were happy to do it for you guys! If you wanna see us take the challenge. Check us out on YouTube! And maybe even subscribe if you already listen. We welcome you to join us for 117 minutes of sports entertainment. We welcome Peanut and Mario to the show to discuss Injury news in the NBA, LaMarcus Aldridges abrupt retirement, Deshaun Watson, Julien Edelman, the Browns, the Eagles, and the Packers. Then we wrap...
2021-04-211h 57Definitely Not ExpertsCops Are Dicks, Heston S*** Himself At The Gym, and Will Robots Have Rights?Hello again! Ya favorite dummies are back with another banger episode this week. We welcome a friend of the show Justin and all of you to join us in turning our brains off for the next 88 minutes while we attempt to talk about Cops, Hestons terrible gym experience, and discuss a bakery robot detecting cancer in people. We appreciate the continued support and hope you not only enjoy the episode. But allow it to send you into an incredible weekend. Much love. *Clanks
2021-04-161h 28
Definitely Not ExpertsPaul Pierce Is Fun at Parties, The Knockout of the Year, and The Tragic Phillip Adams NewsHolla at ya bois! Hello to all you beautiful people! Welcome to the dumbest show on the internet ran by two people who dont know anything about nothin! Go ahead and turn your brain off with us for the next 76 minutes while we talk about Paul Pierce, UFC Fight Night, and get an update on Deshaun Watson! Much love and its always Friday Vibes when were hangin out. *Clanks.
2021-04-141h 16Definitely Not ExpertsHeston's Little Sister Joins the Show, TikTok Took Down One of Our Videos, and Pollution is Shrinking Penises!Hello again! Were back with another episode thats way too long! But thats what happens when youre having a good time. So we invite you to turn your brains off with us for 136 minutes while we send you into an electric weekend. Hestons little sister joins us this week and we had a blast. Listen to us babble about Mullets being banned, Dragon Ball Z getting cancelled, Lil Nas X, we watch the best movie trailer so far, and scientists are doing things involving our dick and balls. Buckle up and hold on to that glass nice and tight...
2021-04-092h 16
Definitely Not ExpertsThe Space Jam 2 Trailer, LeBron Recruiting Steph, and Deshaun Forces Hands Up His Butt?Damn Daniel! Back at it again with another Definitely Not Experts Sports Show! We invite all of you to turn your brains off with us for 65 minutes while we discuss some of whats going on in the sports world! We get a live reaction to the Space Jam 2 Trailer, discuss LeBron recruiting Steph curry to form another super team, and get ANOTHER Deshaun Watson update! Grab yourself a glass and fill it with whatever makes you happy. Raise that glass and give us one hell of a clank while we bring you the Friday vibes on a beautiful Hump...
2021-04-071h 05Definitely Not ExpertsThis Episode is too long, Florida Mom Loses a Fight to a Kid, and a Woman with 2 VaginasHello! This episode for beautiful people only. So if you're able to hear it... h e y t h e r e :) We welcome our first guest and signature on our wall of clanks, Mario! This episode is way too long and I would invite yall to turn your brains off with this us. But if you listen, you wont have a choice this week. We have reached 100 subs on YouTube and will be eating the worlds hottest chip tomorrow! So if you'd like to see that find us on YouTube at Definitely Not Experts. Also, we have an...
2021-04-022h 20
Definitely Not ExpertsNBA MVP Front Runners, UFC 260 Knockout Reactions, and an Update on Deshaun WatsonHello to the Sluts, the scumbags, the dearly beloved, the gamer girls, the gym bros, annnnnnnnd ALL 100 OF OUR SUBSCRIBERS ON YOUTUBE! We made it guys. We will be eating the worlds hottest chip this weekend and the video will be posted soon after. If youd like to see us suffer for your entertainment just find and sub to us on youtube at Definitely Not Experts! Anyways, yall are here for the sports show and were happy to have our first official guest on the show Mario! Go ahead and turn your brains off with us for 89 minutes while...
2021-03-311h 29Definitely Not ExpertsHeston Has a Cervix?, Russian A** Slapping, and Tears of JoyHello! To all the people. The OGs and the New-Bees. Buckle up for this one. S*** gets weird this week. So go ahead and grab that glass, go ahead and light that dank, and go ahead and join us in turning our brains off for the next 92 minutes. I dont know how else to sum up this weeks episode in a way that the title already does. Were rapidly approaching 100 subs on YouTube and will soon have the worlds hottest chip in our possession. So if youd be interested in seeing us eat them. Subscribe to us on YouTube...
2021-03-261h 32
Definitely Not ExpertsLebron James Ankle, Usman V Masvidal II, and 12+ Lawsuits against Deshaun WatsonWaddap you thicc bois and gamer girls! Were back this week with another (sharp inhale) BANGER! Were stoked for you to join us in shutting our brains off for the next 90 minutes! Raise you cups and join us for the *clanks and Friday vibes! We get an update on Lebron and the Lakers, have a new entry for dunk of the year, get an inside look at the NCAA weight room controversy, discuss the recently announced Usman V Masvidal II fight, and dive into whats transpired in the Deshaun Watson drama thus far. We hit our 4th consecutive month of...
2021-03-241h 29Definitely Not ExpertsSex in Outer Space, Celebrity Salami, and S***ing Yourself.Hello to the Slut! To the Scumbags! To the Gym Bros! To the Gamer Girls! And our Dearly Beloved! Join us, not only for the *clanks. But also in turning our brains off for 133 minutes. We've got a long one this week and we can definitely say that this episode was one of our most favorite we've recorded to date. We seriously hope you enjoy and appreciate the continued support. Were eating the worlds hottest chip (with an added twist) at 100 subs on YouTube. So if you'd like to see that happen, please check us out on YouTube and...
2021-03-192h 13
Definitely Not ExpertsHestons All-Star Halftime Idea, Last Chance U Basketball, and Tom Brady Playing Until Hes 48?Hello Sluts, Scumbags, and our Dearly Beloveds! Weve got another great episode locked and loaded for yall today. Join us in turning our brains off for 101 minutes together and talk about all star weekend, NFL free agency, and a little UFC talk. Check us out on youtube at Definitely Not Experts and subscribe if youd like to see us eat the worlds hottest chip! Much love and always keep those Friday Vibes! *Clanks
2021-03-171h 40Definitely Not ExpertsCancel Culture is CANCELLED, China Mandates Anal, and a Nostalgic Bicycle CrashHello to the sluts and the dearly beloved! Welcome back to another f r i d a y v i b e s episode! Were we are definitely not handsome and dont act like it! We missed you guys and are STOKED for a great episode today. This is a long one to go ahead and join us in turning our brains off for 110 minutes while we Cancel cancel culture, watch some videos, and talk some smack. Much love. *Clanks
2021-03-121h 50
Definitely Not ExpertsLola Bunny is UGLY Now >:(, A Controversial UFC 259, and Flash Gordons FCF DebutHello to the Sluts and our Dearly Beloved! It a pleasure to be back with you all. We hope youre ready to buckle up for a loaded episode this week. We start things off with the energy right away. Join us in turning our brains off for 97 minutes and let us give you some much needed energy to get thru the rest of your day and week. Much love. And remember, once we get to 100 subs on youtube we will be eating the hottest chip in the world! So check us out there and sub if youd like to...
2021-03-101h 37
Definitely Not ExpertsTiger Woods Almost Died, Why Didn't Wentz Work in Philly, and Kobe For the New NBA LogoHello Sluts and our Dearly Beloved! Were back this week with another great episode for you. Kick back and turn your brains off with us for 90 minutes while the boys take a DEEP dive into the NFL and then wrap up with some NBA Talk. Much love. *Clanks.
2021-03-031h 32Definitely Not ExpertsOur Texas Snow Storm 2021 Experience, Olympic Breakdancing, and We Learn What a Poop Knife isHello again Sluts! Were back! Winterpocalypse 2021 sucked some big nuts. But boy does it feel good to be back. We have a longer episode for yall this week due to lost time. And we hope yall enjoy every moment of the Friday vibes with the boys. We go in deep on all kinds of topics this week including our experience with the winter storm, people getting doxxed on facebook, movie reactions, some of the best would you rather questions weve answered, someone getting eaten by a whale, poop knifes, and more TokTalks! Much love to yall for the continued...
2021-02-261h 49
Definitely Not ExpertsKyrie Calls Out LBJ, Usman Remains Undefeated, and Brady Yeets the LombardiHello Sluts! Were back! Again! We let this weeks episodes go on a bit longer due to the missed week caused by the snow storm here in Texas. But we couldnt be happier to be back with yall! This week we have some catching up to do. SO we get into the Lebron's latest milestone along with the rest of the Lakers, Dame's lack of faith in the Jazz, Embiid dropping a 50 piece, the Mavs trying to no longer play the national anthem, the Draymond Green drama, potential dunks of the year, UFC 258, potential knockout of the year, NFL...
2021-02-241h 57Definitely Not ExpertsCumbrellas, A Loose Tiger in San Antonio, and a Girl Loses Both Knees*Sharp Inhale.. FRIDAY V I B E S ! Hello Sluts! And welcome back to your weekly broadcast of dumb and dumber talking about thing and dumber thing. This week we talk about things and watch videos. There are tigers, broken legs, and a discussion about plowing a girl so hard her makeup comes off. Enjoy! *Clanks *Big Clanks
2021-02-121h 37
Definitely Not ExpertsSuper Bowl LV Reactions, Jon Jones Returns, and a Potential Aaron Rodgers TradeThe Sports Show is back! And we missed yall. Thank you for putting up with a very intoxicated Heston last week that prevented us from getting the episode recorded. But although still intoxicated, hes less so this week so we could get this episode rolled out to you all. This week we continue to discuss the NBA and some of the stories developing around the league, we get an update on the fighting world, we pick a hockey and baseball team we will start following, and discuss the Super Bowl. We hope you enjoy and look forward to seeing...
2021-02-101h 27Definitely Not ExpertsJewish Space Lasers, Dame Likes to Think Slavery Was Real, And Some Meaty QueefsHello! Were Back! Sorry about the lack of a sports show this week. But to make up for it, this episode is almost two and half hours! We hope you enjoy. Heston goes 12 shots deep this week to make up for the sober show last week. This is why there was no sports show. Sit back and relax. Go ahead and feel those Friday vibes, clank with us, and let us take you for one hell of a ride. Much love. *Clanks
2021-02-052h 14Definitely Not ExpertsCloth Toilet Paper, Bulletproof Titties, and The Godzilla Vs Kong RevealHello hello! Its Friday again! Give us some clanks and Friday vibes. No matter when you hear this. This episode we discuss a woman whos breast implant deflected a bullet, a car thief who scolds a mom about leaving her son in the car, and people who are switching to reusable toilet paper. We give a shoutout to a couple of fans from the area, Heston watches the Godzilla Vs Kong trailer live on the show, and we have our latest entry of Toktalks. We hope you enjoy and appreciate all the love and support. *Clanks
2021-01-291h 34
Definitely Not ExpertsThe Knicks Dont Suck, McGregor Got Clapped, and We Mourn The PackersA much less enthusiastic hello this week. The Packers lost this past Sunday due to a SUSS officiating performance. We do go into that. But before we do, we cover Kyries return, the Knicks not being bad, James Harden body transformation, and UFC 257. Other than Packers talk, we also discuss QB movement in the upcoming offseason, coaching hires, and the state of the Deshaun Watson situation in Houston. We hope you enjoy! Much love. *Clanks
2021-01-271h 24Definitely Not ExpertsWiping Your Butt With a Slice of Pizza, Insane Sleep Over Stories, And Finding a Homeless Person In Your HouseHello! And welcome back to another ELECTRIC episode of our Definitely Not Handsome show! We are happy to welcome Dame back to the show this week and hope you enjoy what we've got lined up for you. We start things off with a fitness update and story from Heston. Move on to an absolutely wild **** list and Bicc Boi shoutouts. Then we discuss how we would react to finding a homeless man in our home and the most insane sleep over stories Heston found on reddit. Then we wrap things up with Hestons latest iteration of Toktalks. You wont...
2021-01-222h 02
Definitely Not ExpertsDame is BACK, The James Harden Trade, and Metcalf on PEDs?Hello hello to all the peeps! Dame is back at the table and full of all the feelings. We discuss the James Harden Trade and the ramifications following. We discuss whether Kyrie is still relevant or not. We discuss the spurs and the playoff picture for the NBA after the Harden trade. The UFC is no longer testing for weed which is dope. And we have the McGregor fight this weekend. The hype is real. Then we dive into the NFL with topics including who we think is going to the Super Bowl, who the better receiver is between...
2021-01-201h 47Definitely Not ExpertsTimes We Almost Died, Space Jesus, and Marihoe FashoWelcome to the Show! Lets get those Friday Vibes. Mario fills in for a sick Damien this week so we hope you enjoy his present and input on the show. This week we have TokTalks #2, Heston crucifies Papa Johns, the boys share stories about times that they almost died and Heston shares how he almost killed his sister. Then they dive into new biological self healing robots and the concept of alien space Jesus. Much love. *Clanks
2021-01-151h 59
Definitely Not ExpertsMario Guest Hosts, 90 Minutes of NBA, and Super Wild Card WeekendHello hello! Were back again with another HUMP DAY sports show. Damien is out this week due to the fact that he is evacuating fluids from his front and his back. SO, filling in for him today is our good buddy Mario! We hope that you enjoy his takes and input on the show and look forward to more visits from him in the future. This week we go deep into the NBA. Talk a lot of spurs basketball and discuss the state of the NFL playoffs. Much love. *Clanks
2021-01-132h 01Definitely Not ExpertsDoes Covid Get You Laid, What Happens When You Poop in Your Dreams, and Our New Segment TokTalksHello hello! This is our first DNH show of the year! We dive into topics including a guy stopping a child abduction and what we think happens to babies when they get taken, we talk about a girl who faked having cancer, a new development regarding the government admitting that aliens are real, Heston tells a story about a time he pooped himself in front of his mom. Then we talk about The Mandalorian, Hacksaw Ridge, and wrap up with our new segment TokTalks! We hope that yall enjoy and help push us to 3k! Much Love. *Clanks.
2021-01-081h 34
Definitely Not ExpertsDid Big Ben Stop Trying, Alex Smith Gets to the playoffs, and the Eagles LossWelcome to the first sports show of the year! Heston is a bit under the weather, but hes here anyways to make the show happen. There isnt much going on in the NBA right now. So we mainly discuss the state of the NFL right now and how we think the playoffs are going to go. We also talk about Aaron Rodgers getting his 3rd MVP, the controversial Eagles finale, the Steelers rocky ending of the season, and Alex Smith getting the Comeback player of the year award. We hope you enjoy and appreciate the support. Much Love. *Clanks.
2021-01-061h 27Definitely Not ExpertsHappy New Year, Sex Roulette Parties, and Suing a 4 Year OldHappy New Year everybody! Go ahead and have a drink with us. Were dropping this episode early just so we can have a proper clank together to celebrate the end of 2020. This episode is full of great conversation including our Christmas recap, Heston's recent interaction with the police, the wildest place both of us have gotten laid, a doctors PSA in regards to sex roulette parties, the calmest confrontation of a girl getting caught cheating, suing children, and fucking out parents. We hope yall catch this episode just as it drops and are happy to be apart of your...
2021-01-011h 40
Definitely Not ExpertsBronny James/Larsa Pipen Drama, JJ Watt Speaks Out, and the Cowboys Are Still AliveHello hello! Welcome to the last sports show of the year! Let this be our early Happy New Year to you guys. On this beautiful hump we cover the state of the NBA, the Spurs Fast 3, the Clippers historic flop, what we would do if we got paid like NBA stars. and the Bronny/Larsen Drama. Then we discuss the Browns loss to the Jets. JJs statement about the state of the Texans, Haskins getting released, and the Dallas Cowboys still being in the mix. We hope yall enjoy the episode and join us at midnight for Fridays New...
2020-12-301h 32Definitely Not ExpertsMerry Christmas!, A Lost Vintage Porn Collection, and Our Christmas Movie Tier ListWhether you're stuck at work, visiting family, or at home vibing on your own. Were happy to be apart of your holiday and hope that we can make it a little bit better. Today we go in on a story involving a guy whose parents destroyed over 25000 dollars worth of porn magazines and sex toys, the best gifts we've ever given and received, a runner up to the "Larry" award, and our Christmas movie tier list. We appreciate the continued support and send yall much love. Merry Christmas from the bois Heston and Dame. Cheers.
2020-12-251h 34
Definitely Not ExpertsDrew Bree's Voodoo Stem Cell Recovery, The NFL Steals Christmas, and WE FINALLY FOUND A NAME FOR DERRICK HENRYHello hello and a early Merry Christmas Eve to you all! THE JETS WON A GOD DAMN GAME! We've got a great episode for you guys today. We go into topics including the NBA season starting up, James harden getting traded for Jamal Murray and Michael Porter Jr., and the NBA not being in a bubble. Then we drop Breaking News that Jon Jones will be coming back to the UFC to fight Israel Adesanya, the Canelo Fight, and Jake Paul's future fights. We wrap up with discussing the NFL trying to steal Christmas, Drew Brees Voodoo magic in...
2020-12-231h 24Definitely Not ExpertsA Famous Cameo Breakup, The Boys Hate Elf, and The Intergalactic Federation.We dive scrote deep in the differences in Heston and Damien driving. Then talk about Loser Larry trying ruin Texas. We then move on to Disney busting the fattest of loads of content known to man, our Serial Killer Chick list shout outs, and how we hate the movie Elf. Happy New Years Eve to all of you and well be seeing you again on Christmas Day! Much Love.
2020-12-181h 35
Definitely Not ExpertsThe NBA Preseason, Ron Rivera's Insane Cancer Diet, and Carson Wentz's FutureH U M P D A Y ! This week we dive in on the NBA Preseason, new and returning faces to the NBA, and where Harden and Giannis will eventually end up. Dame catches up on the boxing world. Then we wrap up with the NFL. Starting with Ron Riveras Cancer Diet, how much Matt Ryan sucks, where we think some big name QBs will be headed next year including Dak and Wentz, and whether or not the Steelers suck. We hope you enjoy.
2020-12-161h 43Definitely Not ExpertsOur 14 Inch Penis Heist, Dame Gets Cucked by the Law, and Revenge Murder Fantasies.This week is a wild ride! The camera died with 15 minutes left for our video so we apologize for that. Anyways! We start things off right with discussing what it would be like to have a 14 inch penis. And what the life is like for the one man on the world who does. Then we plan to steal his penis once he dies because he is donating it to a penis museum. Then Dame goes into detail on his wonderful experience with jury duty in the middle of a pandemic. We later dive in on topics including how early...
2020-12-111h 34
Definitely Not ExpertsOur First Video Sports Show, Dame Leaves Heston Alone on Christmas, and Logan Paul.Hello Hello! We are happy to announce that this episode and all future episodes will be available with video on our YouTube channel at Definitely Not Experts. Feel free to check that out if you'd like to see our not so beautiful faces! Today the boys get into the Lakers transactions, Harden holding out, and Zion coming back with no restrictions. They dive deep into the Mayweather V Logan Paul fight, Mike Tysons next fight, and how Heston keeps standing Dame up. They wrap things up with discussing the Steelers streak ending, Josh Gordon coming back, and the Jets b...
2020-12-091h 40Definitely Not ExpertsWe Learn About Naval Stones, Horrific Anti-Bear Wolf Robots, and Dame Uses a Bidet.This week the boys dive in on topics including Naval Stones, Vampires V Werewolves, and Japanese Farming Anti-Bear Wolf Robots. Dame is very unhappy about the Naval Stones and also goes into detail about his first experience with using a Bidet on his recent trip to Oklahoma.
2020-12-041h 32
Definitely Not ExpertsHeston Gets Real for a Minute, Snoop Steals the Show, and The Jets Win Week 17.They boys start off with maybe their longest intro yet. The boys go into their Thanksgivings and their weight gain. Then dive into the little NBA news available before recapping the Mike Tyson Roy Jones fight. Which leads to Heston going in about not being fat, not being lazy, and how there is enough money for everyone to be successful. The boys wrap up with NFL talk that includes whether they think the Steelers will lose or the Jets will win first, the MVP race, and the Broncos losing all 4 of their QBs.
2020-12-021h 42Definitely Not ExpertsHot or Not "Mythical Creatures", A Heart Attack Gun, and Elon Musk Creates His Own Umbrella Academy.Happy Thanksgiving everyone! We hope that you enjoy your long weekend. And for those who have had to work. Allow us to take you into the weekend right. We dive into topics including which mythical creatures they would smash, deep fakes, casting inconvenient spells on people, a heart attack gun, where black holes go, and Elon musk using a gene editing tool to create his own super hero school. Again, we appreciate the support. Now go have a hell of a weekend. Cheers.
2020-11-271h 45
Definitely Not ExpertsThe 120 Million Dollar Man, Roy Jones V Tyson, and Joey Burrows KneeHello Hello everybody! And Happy Thanksgiving! We hope that yall enjoy your time off, with family, and even a great day at work if that happens to be where you are. We love you guys and hope yall enjoy the episode. Much love.
2020-11-261h 38Definitely Not ExpertsHappy Thanksgiving, Versatile Vaginas, and Naked Grandparent Stories.Hello Hello! Happy Thanksgiving! Its Friday! We apologize for the late upload. But its not too late to let us take you into one hell of a weekend! We start things off with the first week Heston doesnt have anything on his shit list and Dame has someone on his! Then the boys dive into topics including whats on their Thanksgiving plates, what earth element they would want to control, what they would like to excel at as old men, going to concerts, and wrap up with what they think the most impressive thing they think a vagina could...
2020-11-211h 38
Definitely Not ExpertsHarden Out Of H-Town, An Upset Listener, and Deandre Hopkins.The Sports Show is BACK! The boys missed you guys after not being able to record last week (thank you throwing up drunk Heston). But Heston is considerably lest turnt and they ready to knock out another great episode for you guys! This weeks episode goes into detail about the recently opened trading timeframe in the NBA, they break news on James Hardens status in Houston, address a disgruntled listener from a previous episode about Tyson fury, and Finish up with all things NFL including Tuas perfect start, Deandre Hopkins' Hail Mary catch, and Russel Wilsons Struggles recently. Apologies...
2020-11-181h 35Definitely Not ExpertsOur First Video Episode, Heston V Henny, and Amber HeardHeston is not sick anymore and came back a little too hard this episode. So much so the boys couldnt even record the sports show. This is the first full video episode available on YouTube. This weeks episode includes the boys diving into Heston getting pooped on by a bird, the Amber Heard situation, what kind of dates theyd like to be taken on, clearing brain capacity, and daylight savings.
2020-11-131h 33Definitely Not ExpertsA Sexually Motivated Anti-Hero and Community DisserviceIts Friday homies and honeys! Join the bois in topics including what animals theyd be down to smash, how bad post apocalyptical punani would be, what makes or breaks a first date, the new Power Rangers reboot and their childhood Power Rangers crushes, and a sexually motivated anti super hero that only saves people for sexual favors.
2020-11-061h 24
Definitely Not ExpertsThe Nets Get D'Antoni, Tyson Fury Conspiracy, and Tua's NFL DebutThe boys go in the few moves in the NBA and a new Trade rumor involving the Lakers and the Spurs. They then dive into the fighting world discussing the Davis V Santa Cruz knockout, Kabib becoming the all time P4P leader, and allegations against Tyson Fury indicating that he cheated in his last fight with Deonte Wilder. They wrap things up with talking NFL including the Steelers 7 game win streak, Tua dusting the bills, and the dysfunctional Patriots.
2020-11-041h 06Definitely Not ExpertsClouds Are Fake, Water On The Moon, and A Hot Pocket Flesh LightBuckle up for one hell of an episode. The boys welcome Cody back and have some things they need to get to the bottom of. They get into the most heated conversation the show has had about whether you should rerack your weights in the correct spot when they were misplaced to begin with. This convo goes on for far too long. But they boys eventually move on to topics including clouds and weather being fake, what they would leave in a persons home as a reverse burglar, and what inanimate object they would most enjoy having sex with...
2020-10-301h 54
Definitely Not ExpertsAntonio Brown to Tampa, A Saints Fire Sale, and The Next NBA SeasonThe boys welcome their guest Cody back to the show and immediately go straight into NFL talk. Covering topics including Antonio Brown and Dez Bryant's reintroduction to the league along with their new homes, whether the Saints would be willing to part ways with Michael Thomas or Drew Brees, who the best QB/WR combos were, and if Big Ben or King Henry could win MVP. They wrap up with NBA offseason news and brief UFC talk.
2020-10-281h 41Definitely Not Experts4G on the Moon, A Phone From the Future, and Eating HumansThe Boys dive into topics including 4G on the Moon and why the moon needs internet. They discuss what the first thing would look up if they got a phone from the future. They discuss what they think would be the best part of a person to eat (other than ass) and if they would eat brains if they could obtain the memories of the person after. Then they wrap up with pondering who they would fight to the death if they could get that persons life if they win.
2020-10-231h 33
Definitely Not ExpertsNBA Trade Rumors, New NFL Overtime Rules, and the Packers First LossThis weeks episode includes the boys diving into the remnants of the NBA season. Talks of moves that have already been made and trade rumors. The next season starts in January. So things will be moving fast into the next season. They discuss the Lomachenko fight. Then finish up with where QBs could get moved around in the NFL, if Kaep will ever come back, if Matt Ryan will get traded, the Texans getting cucked in overtime, and the Packers first loss.
2020-10-211h 31
Definitely Not ExpertsLady Gaga Gets Puked On, Golden Showers, and a Dead UniverseThe boys start things off on a wild note with discussing Lady Gaga getting intentionally puked on and how this conversation led to golden showers. They boys give their opinions on each and ponder how they would feel if they were apart of each of those situations. They move on to the rest of the show with some movie talk involving the new Spider Man and Resident Evil, space talk with proof of a dead universes energy leaking out of black holes and superhabitable planets, and wrap up with a new segment called their Chick List and their "would...
2020-10-161h 29
Definitely Not ExpertsThe NBA Champs, a New NFL Playoff Structure, and the Rodgers/LeFleur FeudDame is in a particularly great mood this week. His eyes are feeling better and the Lakers just got the ship. The boys start things off with discussing the end of the NBA season and very quickly get sidetracked into the poor management of Covid by the NFL. Followed by talking about the NFL changing the playoff structure, head coach firings, and how Dame believes that the Packers success has been because of the Aaron Rodgers/Matt LeFleur feud. Then they wrap things up with an update and opinions on Daks injury and the rest of the cowboys season.
2020-10-141h 35
Definitely Not ExpertsNecrophilia and Sensei Gordan Ramsey's Fighting Cooking ShowThe boys dive into all kinds of stuff this week. Topics include Sweden trying to make Incest and Necrophilia legal, if they would rather have a pause of rewind button on life, private movie theaters in the French Catacombs, and an idea for Gordan Ramseys latest cooking show that has to do with the fact that he has a black belt in Karate.
2020-10-091h 27
Definitely Not ExpertsLebron Walks Out, Jon Jones Is Mad AF, and the NFL Season Suspension.The boys start things off with all things NBA. Detailing the Finals series, the Heat getting their first win, Lebron walking off early, and potential trade opportunities coming up. They Discuss McGregor getting the fight against Poirier and Jon Jones coming for Adesanya for his belt. They wrap things up with all things NFL. Including Bill O Brien getting fired, the Dallas Cowboys, the tank for Trevor Sweepstakes, and making their Week 5 picks.
2020-10-071h 21
Definitely Not ExpertsSex Robots, Hollow Earth Conspiracy, and Ancient Colossus LeadersThe Boys start things off with Hestons review of McDonalds spicy nuggets. They then move on to movie and show recommendation and Heston talks about his first experience with an abdominal Charlie horse. (Yes its as bad as it sounds). They discuss the reality and future of sex robots, the Nicolas Cage Joe Exotic TV show, and whether they prefer a full tank of gas or a full fridge. They discuss sleep paralysis and whether its real. Dive into the Hollow earth conspiracy in Antarctica and giant humans who used to rule over the small humans. They wrap up...
2020-10-021h 31
Definitely Not ExpertsWe Predicted the Finals, UFC 253, and Coaching Hot SeatsThe boys have their first guests! Cody and Isaiah join them in discussing the NBA Finals, compare Kawhis success compared to Lebrons success, and ponder where Doc Rivers will end up. Cody gives us a recap on UFC 253 and how he felt about the fights. They discuss Connor McGregor getting ready to box Pacquiao and Mike Tysons return to the ring. They dive in on undefeated NFL teams, completely defeated teams, and also discuss which coaches have the hottest seats right now. All wrapped up with them making their week 4 NFL picks.
2020-09-301h 32
Definitely Not ExpertsDame Was Right, PPV Public Execution, and Dames Acting CareerHeston starts off with giving Dame a big shoutout by calling this ahead of time. After talking about it for weeks now, California is working on passing a law that lowers punishment for sexual relations with minors. They obviously have some serious opinions about it. They discuss how going to prison is very similar to going into a coma. They talk about Kim Jong-un and whether they support public executions or not. Youll find out if they are pieces of shits or not when they answer if they kick ice under the fridge. They dive deep into a conspiracy...
2020-09-251h 25
Definitely Not ExpertsGiannis MVP, Worst Week of NFL Injuries, and which 0-2 teams are deadThe boys discuss Giannis officially getting the MVP award and how they felt about Lebron only getting 16 total votes. They discuss whether the Heat are for real or not and if the Lakers should be afraid of them in the Finals. Dame goes in on how the NBA MVP award process should be changed. They wonder if the Clippers actually suck. They dive into what was one of the worst weekend of injuries in NFL history, talk about how they feel about 0-2 and 2-0 teams, then wrap up the show with their week 3 NFL picks.
2020-09-231h 24
Definitely Not ExpertsFighting Wild Animals, Dont be an Organ Donor, and Drink Some Damn WaterThe Boys start off with talking having asthma growing up and why you shouldnt be an organ donor. They then discuss what kind of animals they could beat in a tug of war and in a straight up fight. They compare Powerade to Gatorade and what flavors they like the most. They get into what their favorite type of sleep is and wrap up with discussing that Joe Rogan wants to moderate a presidential debate on his podcast.
2020-09-181h 17
Definitely Not ExpertsFirst Fan Ejected Foom Bubble, Danuel House, and OBJs Big Secret.The boys start things off by getting the day of the week wrong for the second week in a row. They jump into the last games leading up to the NBA conference finals, they go into detail about the Danuel House scandal, and talk about the first fan to be ejected from a game in the bubble. They find out how they did on their NFL week 1 picks, recap week 1, and wrap things up with their week 2 picks.
2020-09-161h 33
Definitely Not ExpertsDONT SHUSH ME! Carole Baskin, Christmas Stories, and Irrational FearsThe boys talk about how bananas it is that Carole Baskin is on dancing with the stars. Then they discuss what they would do with the ability to teleport once in their life. They take a trip down memory lane and discuss Christmas growing up and what Dame does with his kids for the holidays. They talk about pimple popping videos. And wrap up with revealing their deepest irrational fears.
2020-09-112h 07
Definitely Not ExpertsOur First Sponsor, Antonio Browns Sex Tape, and Extreme IroningThe boys got their first sponsor! They discuss the game 7s in the NBA playoffs, the bucks almost get swept, and whether the Lakers are in trouble. NFL rosters have officially cut down to their 53 man rosters. They dive into cuts and notable additions. Antonio Browns sex tape was leaked. Then they wrap up with a talk about some unknown sports that should get some more love and talk about sports theyd like to see become real in the future.
2020-09-082h 20
Definitely Not ExpertsDamiens Tinder Experience, Reincarnation, and Multidimensional Lucid DreamingThe boys explain why Nestle is a scumbag company. Discuss the coin shortage and mailing issues. Damien goes into detail about his new experience on Tinder. They discuss reincarnation and the possibility of meeting another version of yourself. Then wrap up with Lucid dreaming, whether Adam and Eve were aliens, and past civilizations.
2020-09-042h 07
Definitely Not ExpertsChadwick Boseman, NBA Boycott, and 77 False Positive Covid TestsThe boys remember Chadwick Boseman and Kobe. Discuss what they think will happen to Black Panther. Also diving into the continuation of the NBA playoffs with a reflection of round 1 and predictions for round 2. They come to the conclusion that Marcus Morris is a scumbag, the NFL mishandling covid tests, and a possible NFL boycott as well.
2020-09-012h 29
Definitely Not ExpertsCuties, Embarrassing Life Stories, and a Cyborg ScientistThe boys discuss the monstrosity that is the Netflix documentary Cuties, reveal the most embarrassing moments of their lives, ponder about what life would be like if they never used the bathroom again, and discuss if they would ever download their consciousness or become a cyborg. Buckle up, this is a good one.
2020-08-281h 46
Definitely Not ExpertsUFC 252, NBA Playoffs Round 1, and NFL OfficialsThe boys recap UFC 252, discuss where we are in the NBA playoffs, and dive into the changes the NFL has made to the front office and structure of the NFL officiating crew.
2020-08-252h 22
Definitely Not ExpertsLast Chance U, Kaijus, and Hestons First TripThe Boys finally catch up on last chance you, discuss how the world is probably going to end, and discuss what Hestons first experience with edibles was like.
2020-08-211h 48
Definitely Not ExpertsNBA Playoffs, Hard Knocks, and Great PlayersThe Boys break in their new mason jars with some conversation about final seeding and predictions for the first round of the NBA Playoffs. Along with the first episode of the Las Angeles Hard Knocks and what makes sports players great.
2020-08-182h 28
Definitely Not ExpertsBad Drivers, Aliens, and Flat EarthThe boys add to their ever growing shit list, talk about how terrifying aliens can be, and Damien confesses he believes in flat earth. Grab a drink and join along in their decent into the unknown.
2020-08-141h 02
Definitely Not ExpertsMadden Ratings, Devin Booker, and Worlds Strongest ManThe boys got started a bit early today and are already feeling loose. They dive into NFL training camp, the suns perfect bubble run, and discuss The Mountain/Eddie Hall boxing match. Grab a drinkie Drink, kick back, and relax.
2020-08-112h 04Definitely Not ExpertsThe NBA is BACK, clones, and eating babies.The boys talk about opening night in the NBA., the future and expectations of QBs in the NFL, and dive into conspiracy theories. Grab a drink and let your mind go on a mental vacation.
2020-08-042h 28
Definitely Not ExpertsQuarantine Recap Part 2The boys talk about what life was like without sports, catch up on the sports world while we have been apart, and look ahead sports coming back. Join them with a cup of whatever makes you happy.
2020-08-041h 46
Definitely Not ExpertsQuarantine Recap Part 1The boys talk about what life was like without sports, catch up on the sports world while we have been apart, and look ahead sports coming back. Join them with a cup of whatever makes you happy.
2020-08-041h 40