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Jack Shitama

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The Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 311: The Year End Review (with a Family Systems Take - Rebroadcast)The most effective leaders do a year-end review. Here are three approaches that will help you reflect on all aspects of your life. Doing a year-end review will take you about an hour. It will not only help you make the most of this year's experiences, it will help you get a great start in the new year. Show Notes: Forget New Year’s Resolutions and Conduct a ‘Past Year Review’ Instead by Tim Ferriss Advice for Entering the New Year: The Yearly Review by Matt Perman Reviewing the Past Year & Looking...2024-12-3017 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 310: 5 Ways You Can Grow as a Non-Anxious Presence - Part 2 of 2Self-differentiation is about managing your own functioning. In Part 2, I cover the importance of monitoring your reactivity, pain threshold and seriousness. Show Notes: If You Met My Family, You'd Understand: A Family Systems Primer by Jack Shitama Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue by Edwin Friedman Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ email newsletter. This page contains affiliate links. I earn a small commission if a purchase is made on Amazon.com. 2024-12-2314 minMinding the GapMinding the Gap#018- How to Cultivate Your Habits w/Jack ShitamaAuthor, teacher and coach Jack Shitama joins the podcast this week to talk about family systems theory.  He helps people manage anxiety and show up better in their lives. He has written 4 books on these ideas and also has a great podcast called The Non Anxious Leader Podcast.The Big Idea:  Our habits shape us.  Jack Shitama gives us his system to from him his book on how to take on new healthy habits.Why it matters:  You will not wake up one day and become someone you were not becoming.  You are built a littl...2024-06-0725 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 276: 10 Steps to Effectively Deal with Resistance (Part 1 of 2)Leading change inevitably involves dealing with resistance. Non-anxious leaders create healthy emotional space for difficult conversations. Here's how. Show Notes: Calling People Forward Instead of Out: Ten Essential Steps by Justin Michael Williams and Shelly Tygielski Find out more about the FREE Jenny Brown Book Study. How to be a non anxious person in this political season w/Jack Shitama - Minding the Gap | Podcast on Spotify Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ email newsletter.2024-04-2912 minMinding the GapMinding the Gap#013 - Navigating Anxiety About Politics w/Jack ShitamaAuthor, teacher and coach Jack Shitama rejoins the podcast this week to talk about navigating anxiety throughout political changes. You can find his content below.--The Big Picture: If YOU can become non-anxious, you can create a culture that is resilient.Why This Matters: The responsibility is on everyone to create the culture we want.--Check out Jack's books here- https://www.amazon.com/s?k=jack+shitama&crid=UAMN6K2G2QMZ&sprefix=jack+shitama%2Caps%2C156&ref=nb_sb_noss_1Check out Jack's...2024-04-2634 minMinding the GapMinding the Gap#012 - Being a Non Anxious Person w/Jack ShitamaAuthor, teacher and coach Jack Shitama joins the podcast this week to talk about family systems theory.  He helps people manage anxiety and show up better in their lives. He has written 4 books on these ideas and also has a great podcast called The Non Anxious Leader Podcast.--The Big Picture: Family systems theory provides a sense of how you show up in the world.Why This Matters: Doing the deep work on family systems theory is how you can become a non-anxious presence.--Check out Jack's b...2024-04-1943 minTable Rush Talk Show!Table Rush Talk Show!694 - Leading with Serenity: Jack Shitama's Guide to Non-Anxious LeadershipIn this enlightening episode, Mischa Zvegintzov sits down with Jack Shitama to discuss the transformative approach to leadership known as the non-anxious presence. Delving into family systems theory and Jack's personal journey from entrepreneurship to spiritual leadership, they unpack the nuances of inspiring change without succumbing to the pressures of anxiety. Discover the keys to becoming a leader who navigates challenges with grace and empowers others through choice and calmness.Show Notes:Introduction to Jack Shitama, the force behind the non-anxious leader concept.Discussion on the role of family systems theory in understanding leadership dynamics.Insights...2024-03-061h 01The Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 255: The Long-Term Cost of Surrounding Togetherness Pressure (and What You Can Do about It) - (Rebroadcast)Seventy-six percent of people nearing the end of their lives say their biggest regret was living their lives according to other people and their expectations. This is surrounding togetherness pressure. Here’s what you can do about it. Show Notes: My apologies, as there are two spots in the episode where one channel drops out briefly. The experience of regret: What, when, and why by Thomas Gilovich and Victoria Medvec Episode 24: The Top Five Regrets of the Dying (and How to Avoid Them) Anxious Church, Anxious People: How to Lea...2023-11-2713 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 239: 5 Ways that Mindfulness Helps You to Be a Non-Anxious PresenceSelf-differentiation requires the ability to self-regulate, then act in accordance with your goals and values. Here's how mindfulness can help you do this. Show Notes: 5 Rituals To Keep You Happy All The Time by Eric Barker Why I Invited Myself to a Wedding by Jack Shitama Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails. 2023-08-0713 minFuture ChristianFuture ChristianJack Shitama gives a Family Systems Perspective on the UMC splitSince pre-Covid times, the United Methodist Church has been embroiled in conflict and disagreement over human sexuality, resulting in the splits and splintering playing out over the last several months. In this episode Pastor, author, and Family Systems expert Jack Shitama examines the rift via a FST approach, talking about how the conflict arose, what he thinks are some of the problems, and how he thinks things will play out. Jack Shitama is an author, teacher, speaker and coach. His family systems approach to leadership helps congregational and nonprofit leaders achieve their best spiritually, physically and professionally...2023-03-2846 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 158: The Long-Term Cost of Surrounding Togetherness Pressure (and What You Can Do about It)Seventy-six percent of people nearing the end of their lives say their biggest regret was living their lives according to other people and their expectations. This is surrounding togetherness pressure. Here's what you can do about it. Show Notes: The experience of regret: What, when, and why by Thomas Gilovich and Victoria Medvec Episode 24: The Top Five Regrets of the Dying (and How to Avoid Them) Anxious Church, Anxious People: How to Lead Change in an Age of Anxiety by Jack Shitama Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious...2022-01-1712 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 130: Servant Leadership and Self-Differentiation - Part 2 of 2If servant leadership is about serving those you lead, then how does a self-differentiated leader do this? Part 2 goes through the second five characteristics of a servant-leader to show you how. Show Notes: Ten Characteristics of a Servant-Leader by Larry Spears A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix by Edwin Friedman Putting God First Means Family Comes Before Work by Jack Shitama Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website.2021-07-0513 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 126: What to Do When Your Congregation's a Hot Mess - A Case StudyThis real-life case study, submitted by a podcast listener, illustrates important emotional process concepts. I break it down to help you grow as a non-anxious leader. Show Notes: Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/jack-shitama/message2021-06-0719 minBeing Human with Steve CussBeing Human with Steve CussS6E9 - Jack ShitamaJack Shitama is an author, teacher, speaker and coach. His family systems approach to leadership helps congregational and nonprofit leaders achieve their best spiritually, physically and professionally. Jack is the author of Anxious Church, Anxious People: How to Lead Change in an Age of Anxiety and One New Habit, One Big Goal: Change Your Life in 10 Weeks.Jack and his wife of 37 years, Jodi, have four children. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices2021-03-0844 minBeing Human with Steve CussBeing Human with Steve CussS6E9 - Jack ShitamaJack Shitama is an author, teacher, speaker and coach. His family systems approach to leadership helps congregational and nonprofit leaders achieve their best spiritually, physically and professionally. Jack is the author of Anxious Church, Anxious People: How to Lead Change in an Age of Anxiety and One New Habit, One Big Goal: Change Your Life in 10 Weeks.Jack and his wife of 37 years, Jodi, have four children. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices2021-03-0844 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 89: Mimetic Theory and Self-Differentiation - Why Being Yourself Is So HardBeing and belonging are essential to who we are. According to mimetic theory, the way we go about this is more harmful than helpful. Working toward self-differentiation can help. Show Notes: Secrets about People: A Short and Dangerous Introduction to René Girard by Alex Danco The Key to Move from Imitation to Differentiation: How Mimetic Theory Unlocks the Workplace by David Gornoski and J. Lenora Bresler Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.2020-09-2116 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 88: Goal Direction and Self-DifferentiationGoal Direction and self-differentiation go hand-in-hand. This episode explores what this looks like and how it applies to leadership. Show Notes: The Bowen Center Professional Lecture Series Podcast, Goal Direction and Family Functioning, Philip Klever, MSW. Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.2020-09-1420 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 87: Three Ways Donald Trump's Leadership Style Increases Anxiety in AmericaWhat works for Donald Trump as a leader will not likely work for the rest of us. Understanding the ways he increases anxiety can help you to be more effective as a non-anxious leader. Show Notes: Podcast Episode 28: How to Take a Leadership Stand on Controversial Issues (including a Family Systems take on Donald Trump’s Leadership Style) Podcast Episode 44: Four Rules for Political Discourse (and another look at Donald Trump’s leadership style) Revisionist History Presents: The Limits of Power Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader webs...2020-09-0711 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 86: Worry, Stress, Anxiety, Excitement and the Non-Anxious LeaderUnderstanding the difference between worry, stress, anxiety and excitement can help leaders remain a non-anxious presence in the most challenging moments. Show Notes: The Difference Between Worry, Stress and Anxiety by Emma Pattee A Bundle of Nerves - Choiceology Podcast with Katy Milkman Get Excited: Reappraising Pre-Performance Anxiety as Excitement by Alison Wood Brooks Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.2020-08-3118 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 85: Facts, Beliefs and the Non-Anxious LeaderNon-anxious leaders say what they believe while giving others the freedom to disagree. Understanding how belief functions makes this easier. Show Notes: Belief in the Brain by Allison Bond Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.2020-08-2420 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 84: Edwin Friedman's Tensions in LeadershipEdwin Friedman described a set of tensions that every leader faces. Understanding context and emotional process helps the non-anxious leader navigate these effectively. Show Notes: Leadership through Self-Differentiation, a home video of an Edwin Friedman divinity school lecture. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.2020-08-1718 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 83: Rites of Passage - A Personal Case StudyRites of passage are times when the emotional intensity makes it possible for people to grow in their capacity to self-differentiate. It requires recognizing the emotional process at work and responding appropriately. My family is going through just such a time. It makes a great case study. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.2020-08-1019 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 82: Perspective Is Everything for the Non-Anxious LeaderKeeping things in perspective is essential for the non-anxious leader. This episode unpacks three important of perspectives that make it easier to be a non-anxious presence. Show Notes: Episode 49: Hot States, Cold States and Self-Regulation (Part 1 of 2) Episode 50: Hot States, Cold States and Self-Regulation (Part 2 of 2) Leadership through Self-Differentiation, a home video of an Edwin Friedman divinity school lecture. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.2020-08-0314 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 81: Understanding Intergenerational Transmission Can Help You Maintain a Non-Anxious PresenceKnowing that norms, values and patterns of behavior are transmitted from generation to generation can help you to take anxiety and resistance less personally. This will help you remain a non-anxious presence. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.2020-07-2715 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 80: A Persistent, Low-Level AnxietyThe uncertainty and disruption caused by the COVID-19 pandemic can create a persistent, low-level anxiety that affects one's ability to be a non-anxious leader. Show Notes: Episode 67: Six Ways to Manage Anxiety Episode 68: Self-Acceptance Leads to Self-Differentiation Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.2020-07-2014 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 79: Balancing the Tension between Self-Definition and Emotional ConnectionAs with many things in family systems theory, self-differentiation requires holding the tension between self-definition and emotional connection. Show Notes: WorkLife with Adam Grant – Bonus: Relationships at work with Esther Perel Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.2020-07-1312 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 78: Hamilton, Burr and Self-DifferentiationThe Broadway production of Hamilton has some great examples of people-pleasing and narcissism. Here's why self-differentiation is neither. Show Notes: WorkLife with Adam Grant - Bonus: Relationships at work with Esther Perel Hamilton despised slavery but didn’t confront George Washington or other slaveholders by Gregory S. Schneider Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.2020-07-0620 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 77: Leadership through Self-Differentiation in a Polarized Society-A Case StudyHaving compassion for and staying connected to those with whom you disagree is not likely to change their mind. It does keep open the possibility for new opportunities. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.2020-06-2919 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 76: Leadership through Self-Differentiation in a Polarized SocietyDavid Brubaker writes that leading in a politically polarized age requires clarity, compassion, courage and connection. Those characteristics reflect the essence of leadership through self-differentiation. Show Notes: Leading in an Age of Political Polarization by David R. Brubaker The Non-Anxious Leader: Family Systems Basics, July 1-28, 2020 Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.2020-06-2215 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 75: Self-Differentiation Promotes Unity in the Midst of DiversityThis rebroadcast is more relevant in the renewed fight against racism. Spiral dynamics is a model that helps us understand both human and societal development. The challenge of the 21st century is finding unity in the midst of ever-growing diversity. Understanding family systems can help. Show Notes: Stages of Social Development: The Cultural Dynamics that Spark Violence, Spread Prosperity, and Shape Globalization by Don Edward Beck, Ph. D. The Liturgists Podcast, Episode 5: Spiral Dynamics Fr. Richard Rohr – The One and The Many Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.2020-06-1519 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 74: Four Steps to Making a Hard DecisionWhen faced with a difficult decision avoid the impulse to react, stay focused on your mission, weigh the downside risk, and look for stop signs. Then make your choice and own it. Show Notes: Episode 71: Save Your Energy for the Important Decisions Chasing Daylight: Seize the Power of Every Moment by Erwin McManus Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.2020-06-0814 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 73: Murray Bowen Never Used the Term Sabotage-Why It's So Important to Edwin Friedman's WorkA key difference between Edwin Friedman and Murray Bowen is the concept of Sabotage. Both would agree on the emotional process involved, but Bowen never used the term. This episode explains why. Show Notes: Bowen and Friedman: Two Systems Thinkers from The Bowen Center for the Study of Family Podcast The Non-Anxious Leader Network Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.2020-06-0114 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 72: Self-Differentiation and Maturity-A Look at the Work of Jenny BrownFamily systems practitioner Jenny Brown uses the term maturity to describe self-differentiation. I take two paragraphs from her book and distill out three hallmarks of self-differentiation. Show Notes: Growing Yourself Up: How to bring your best to all of life's relationships by Jenny Brown The Non-Anxious Leader Network Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.2020-05-2516 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 71: Save Your Energy for the Important DecisionsNot every decision is created equal. Knowing how to manage your decision-making energy will make you more confident, less anxious, and will leave you more energy for the big decisions. Show Notes: Successful people like Barack Obama and Mark Zuckerberg wear the same thing every day — and it's not a coincidence from Business Insider The Choices Before Us: Can Fewer Options Lead To Better Decisions? from Hidden Brain Podcast Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.2020-05-1813 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 70: Piercing the Fog of War-Four Steps for Effective Leadership in Uncertain TimesThe uncertainty created by the COVID-19 pandemic is like "the fog of war." Non-anxious leaders embrace this uncertainty in a way that helps those they lead do their best work. Show notes: A Crisis Leadership Lesson, an interview with General Stanley McChrystal, The Masters of Scale Rapid Response Podcast. This link has all episodes on one page. To find the McChrystal interview, scroll down. You can also download a transcript. 7 Successful Battle Strategies to Beat COVID-19 by Euvin Naidoo Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.2020-05-1115 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 69: Five Ways to Boost Work from Home Productivity (COVID-19 Edition)Working from home is even more challenging when it's 24/7 and you share the space with others. Understanding how to adjust your routines to make it work will get you through. Show Notes: This is my office cubbyhole in the basement. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.2020-05-0419 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 68: Self-Acceptance Leads to Self-DifferentiationSelf-acceptance comes from self-understanding and self-compassion. This is easier said than done. It begins with awareness and intentionality and ultimately leads to taking responsibility for self. Show Notes: The Path to Unconditional Self-Acceptance by Leon F Seltzer Ph.D. Therapists Spill: 12 Ways to Accept Yourself by Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S. This is my blog post that includes the Nick Saban quote, "So what? Now what?" Lessons from Lifelong Kindergarten. Learn about Don Clifton and the strengthfinders movement. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.2020-04-2714 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 67: Six Ways to Manage AnxietyThe COVID-19 pandemic has disrupted daily living for almost everybody. This kind of change requires us to understand loss, grief and how to manage anxiety. Show Notes: That Discomfort You’re Feeling Is Grief by Scott Berinato Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.2020-04-2018 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 66: Change, Fear, Uncertainty and Hope-An Easter MessageIn Matthew 28:1-10, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary, face change, uncertainty and fear. The parallels to the current COVID-19 crisis are unmistakable. Their response can help us find hope. Show Notes: That Discomfort You’re Feeling Is Grief by Scott Berinato The Liturgists Podcast: You Are Safe Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.2020-04-1315 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 65: If You Met My Family, You'd Understand-Chapter 10 Doing Your Own WorkFinding a therapist or coach, doing a genogram and family timeline, and listening to family stories can help you work toward greater self-differentiation. It's a life's work. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.2020-04-0620 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 64: If You Met My Family, You'd Understand-Chapter 9 Paradox and PlayfulnessRelating to anxious people is a challenge. Your best tools are recognizing emotional process, then using paradox and playfulness. 2020-03-3020 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 63: If You Met My Family, You'd Understand-Chapter 8 Self-RegulationSelf-regulation is the key to keeping your own anxiety in check, as well as to reducing the anxiety level in the system. A simple way to do this is to listen.2020-03-2319 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 62: If You Met My Family, You'd Understand-Chapter 7 SabotageChange in a system will bring resistance in the form of sabotage. Learning how to recognize it and how to deal with it can result in change that lasts. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.2020-03-1613 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 61: If You Met My Family, You'd Understand-Chapter 6 The Leverage of the DependentIt's the conflict of wills in a system that creates anxiety. Self-differentiation reduces this. It also helps us to deal with those who are emotionally dependent and try to hold us hostage. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.2020-03-0918 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 60: If You Met My Family, You'd Understand-Chapter 5 Process and ContentUnderstanding emotional process distinguishes when it's helpful to engage in the content of the matter and when it's best avoided. This is simple, but not easy.  Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.2020-03-0218 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 59: If You Met My Family You'd Understand-Chapter 4 TrianglesWhen we are uncomfortable with another, we often avoid dealing directly with that relationship by triangling a third person or issue. Understanding how triangles work and how to deal with them is essential to healthy functioning.  Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.2020-02-2413 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 58: If You Met My Family You'd Understand-Chapter 3 All Change Is LossAll change is loss, which can involve grief and pain. However, it also presents an opportunity for growth.2020-02-1716 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 57: If You Met My Family, You'd Understand-Chapter 2 Problem and ChallengeThere is a difference between a challenge and a problem. Life is filled with challenges. They only become problems when we can't handle them. How we respond to a challenge influences whether it will become a problem.  Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.2020-02-1017 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 56: If You Met My Family, You'd Understand-Chapter 1 The Symmetry of LifeI have decided to serialize my upcoming book, which is a family systems primer. Each week I'll read one chapter, finishing right around the book's release. This chapter is a reminder about what's important in life. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.2020-02-0310 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 55: A Family Systems Take on "Megxit" (Harry and Meghan Step Back from the Royal Family)The recent announcment by Prince Harry and Meghan to step back from the Royal Family provides a look into the Windsor family of origin. As with all families, intergenerational transmission and surrounding togetherness pressures are evident. Learning from their situation can help the rest of us grow as leaders. Show notes: The British royal family is struggling through scandals. Can ‘The Crown’ help? by Adrian Higgins Fact-checking ‘The Crown’: Is Prince Charles really pushed around by an unfeeling royal family? by Michael S. Rosenwald Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.2020-01-2717 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 54: How to Have a Congregational Conversation on a Difficult SubjectIf the Protocol for Separation in The United Methodist Church passes, it will require many congregations to have difficult discussions. Doing so in a way that minimizes surrounding togetherness pressure gives the congregation the best chance to do so in a healthy way. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails. 2020-01-2016 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 53: Self-Differentiation (Rebroadcast)One of the most popular episodes focuses on a fundamental family systems concept. Self-differentiation is the key to effective leadership. Show Notes: Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue by Edwin Friedman Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.2020-01-1320 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 52: How to Deflect AnxietyA rule of thumb for dealing with anxious people and anxious situations is, "Don't argue. Don't agree. Stay connected." Deflection can help you do this. Show Notes: How to Deflect Difficult Questions in an Interview or Negotiation by Brad Bitterly and Maurice E. Schweitzer Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.2020-01-0616 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 51: Anxiety, Apologies and the Definition of SuccessThis episode shares helpful research on how to make an effective apology. More importantly, it unpacks why this is important for the non-anxious leader. It's about taking responsibilty for self. Show Notes: Dr. Joseph Bentley's website Taming Wicked Problems Freakonomics Episode 353: How to Optimize Your Apology Success Story: Robert Fulghum vs. Beethoven by Joseph C. Bentley Ph.D Join The Non-Anxious Leader Network (it's FREE) Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.2019-12-3017 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 50: Hot States, Cold States and Self-Regulation (Part 2 of 2)Different parts of our brain are responsible for how we respond to anxious situations. Understanding how they function can help us better self-regulate. Show Notes: The Concept of the "Triune Brain" by Andreas Komninos  THE EVOLUTIONARY LAYERS OF THE HUMAN BRAIN from mcgill.ca Amygdala hijack from Wikipedia Getting to Know Your Three Brains (five part series) by Hilary Jacobs Hendel, LCSWPart 1Part 2Part 3Part 4Part 5 Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.2019-12-2318 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 49: Hot States, Cold States and Self-Regulation (Part 1 of 2)The Hot-Cold empathy gap predicts that our actions will not be what we think unless we are in the same emotional state. Understanding this can help us better prepare for anxious situations so we can be a non-anxious presence. Show Notes: In The Heat Of The Moment: How Intense Emotions Transform Us from Hidden Brain Empathy Gap from Wikipedia Real Versus Imagined Gender Harassment by Julie Woodzicka and Marianne Lafrance Anxious Church, Anxious People: How to Lead Change in an Age of Anxiety by Jack Shitama Subscribe...2019-12-1616 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 48: Envy, Empathy and Emotional ConnectionComparing ourselves to others often results in envy. This sometimes drives us to get better, but has significant downsides. Understanding how envy and empathy work can help us have healthy emotional connections in the systems in which we function. Show Notes: Feeding the Green-Eyed Monster: What Happens When Envy Turns Ugly from Hidden Brain Schadenfreude (Merriam-Webster) Empathy Is Tearing Us Apart by Robert Wright (Wired) Identity and Emergency Intervention: How Social Group Membership and Inclusiveness of Group Boundaries Shape Helping Behavior by Mark Levine, et. al. Subscribe...2019-12-0919 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 47: The Year End Review (with a Family Systems Take)The most effective leaders do a year-end review. Here are three approaches, including the one that I use. Doing a year-end review will take you about an hour. It will not only help you make the most of your 2019 experiences, it will help you prepare to get a great start in 2020. This month's theme in The Non-Anxious Leader Network is "Reflection." If you're not a member, join our free community to reflect on 2019 and focus on what matters most to you in 2020. Show Notes: Forget New Year’s Resolutions and Conduct a ‘Past Year...2019-12-0217 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 46: Origin Stories and Family Narratives (the Holidays are coming)Sharing "origin" stories and family narratives makes a family stronger. The holidays are an especially good time to make this happen. Whether you're asking the right questions or sharing your stories, doing this will help everybody relax and connect with each other. Join the Non-Anxious Leader Network (it's FREE). Show Notes: The Psychology Behind Superhero Origin Stories by Robin Rosenberg The Stories That Bind Us by Bruce Feiler Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.2019-11-2514 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 45: Understanding Free Will and Self-Regulation (the Holidays Are Coming)Yuval Noah Harari maintains that the greatest threat to freedom is the myth of free will. This episode examines free will to understand how we can better self-regulate in anxious situations. Join The Non-Anxious Leader Network (it's completely FREE) Show Notes: The Myth of Freedom by Yuval Noah Harari2019-11-1815 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 44: Four Rules for Political Discourse (and another look at Donald Trump's leadership style)Effective leaders are able to say what they believe while giving others the freedom to disagree. The Gottman Institute offers four rules to guide political discussions. Arthur C. Brooks offers these to help end what he describes our culture of contempt. This episode unpacks these from a family systems perspective, as well as takes another look at President Donald Trump's leadership style in the midst of an impeachment inquiry. Join The Non-Anxious Leader Network (it's FREE) Show Notes: Gottman’s Four Rules for a Better America by Michael Fulwiler of The Gottman Institute...2019-11-1116 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 43: Four Relationship Warning Signs (and How to Deal with Them)Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness and Stonewalling are signs that a relationship is going downhill. Maintaing self-differentiation and a non-anxious presence can turn things around. Show Notes: The Four Horsemen: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling by Ellie Lisitsa of The Gottman Institute The Four Horsemen: The Antidotes by Ellie Lisitsa of The Gottman Institute Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.2019-11-0416 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 42: Effective Leaders Trust Self and OthersTrust is a key leadership competency. Developing a culture of trust requires trusting self, then trusting others. Show Notes: Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue by Edwin Friedman The Fundamental Attribution Error Switch: How to Change Things When Change Is Hard by Chip and Dan Heath The Moral Molecule: How Trust Works by Paul J. Zak Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails. 2019-10-2820 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 41: Interview with Bill Selby, Family Systems Expert (Part 3 of 3)Bill Selby is the founder of the Center for Pastoral Effectiveness for the Rockies. He has been training clergy for 20 years to apply family systems theory in their leadership. In this segment, he discusses how to stay connected to anxious people, how to avoid isolation, and the impact of change. Show Notes: Center for Pastoral Effectiveness of the Rockies Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.2019-10-2121 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 40: Interview with Bill Selby, Family Systems Expert (Part 2 of 3)Bill Selby is the founder of the Center for Pastoral Effectiveness of the Rockies. In this segment, he talks about how to deal with sabotage in the context of a church meeting. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.2019-10-1423 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 39: Interview with Bill Selby, Family Systems Expert (Part 1 of 3)Bill Selby is the founder of the Center for Pastoral Effectiveness of the Rockies. He has been training clergy in how to be a non-anxious leader since 1999. This is part one of a three part interview. In today's segment, Bill shares the importance of staying connected, process and content, and identifying healthy leaders. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.2019-10-0723 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 38: Spiral Dynamics, Richard Rohr and the Problem We FaceSpiral dynamics is a model that helps us understand both human and societal development. The challenge of the 21st century is finding unity in the midst of ever-growing diversity. Understanding family systems can help. Show Notes: Stages of Social Development: The Cultural Dynamics that Spark Violence, Spread Prosperity, and Shape Globalization by Don Edward Beck, Ph. D. The Liturgists Podcast, Episode 5: Spiral Dynamics Fr. Richard Rohr – The One and The Many Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.2019-09-3019 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 37: Parent is a Noun (and How that Applies to Leadership)The word "parenting" first appeared in the late 1950's. Developmental psychologist Alison Gopnik maintains that parenting is a bad idea. Parent is a noun, not a verb. This has important implications for leaders who want to help others be their best. Show Notes: Alison Gopnik’s Advice to Parents: Stop Parenting! by Peter Gray, Ph.D., Psychology Today. What Kind Of Parent Are You: Carpenter Or Gardener? by Sasha Ingber, NPR The Gardener and the Carpenter: What the New Science of Child Development Tells Us About the Relationship Between Parents and Ch...2019-09-2313 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 36: The Illusion of Control (and Why It Matters)We sometimes think we have more control than we do. At other times we underestimate the amount of control we have. Knowing the difference is an important leadership competency. Show Notes: Choiceology: Season 4 Episode 1 Keeping the illusion of control under control: Ceilings, floors, and imperfect calibration by Francescas Gino, Zachariah Sharek and Don Moore Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails. 2019-09-1616 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 35: Sabotage and Empathy (What Works and What Doesn't)Being able to recognize and respond effectively to emotional sabotage is essential for leading change. Empathy is good, except when it's not. This episode helps to unpack the difference. Show Notes: The following episodes are helpful in further understanding how to respond to sabotage: Episode 19: Self-Regulation–the Key to Being a Non-Anxious Presence Episode 26: How to Handle It When You Are Anxiously Attacked2019-09-0915 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 34: How the Emotionally Dependent Hold Us HostageEmotionally dependent people require others to make them feel loved and validated. Giving in to their demands holds us hostage. Understanding how this works, as well as how self-differentiation is a way forward is an essential leadership skill. Show Notes: Are You Too Emotionally Dependent on Your Partner? by Leon F. Selzer Ph.D. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.2019-09-0219 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 33: Xenophobia and Self-DifferentiationThis episode is a bit personal. Two recent occurrences reminded me that I'm different. The rise of xenophobia is a global phenomenon. Responding in self-differentiated ways to those who emphasize differences in negative ways is the best chance we have to build a more civil and hope-filled world. Show Notes: Does Fear Motivate Workers — or Make Things Worse? from KNOWLEDGE@WHARTON Fear and Hoping: Adding hope to health messages may motivate better behaviors from Penn State News Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.2019-08-2618 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 32: Why You Get Triangled (and How to Deal with It)The emotional triangle is the most stable form of human relationship. This is because most of the time we are not able to appropriately deal with tension or stress in a two-person relationship. This episode gives examples of triangles, explains how they are formed and maintained, and shows you how to deal with being triangled. Show Notes: Episode 19: Self-Regulation--The Key to Being a Non-Anxious Presence Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.2019-08-1913 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 31: All Change Is Loss"People aren't afraid of change, they're afraid of loss (Sandy Shugart)." Understanding this can help leaders show people how to face the pain of loss directly. This develops strength and results in growth. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.2019-08-1215 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 30: Anxiety Is Poison (Nobody Gets the Problem They Can Handle)The difference between a challenge and a problem is how we handle it. Anxiety, our own and that of others, is the key factor. Remaining a non-anxious presence will help us and those we lead to rise up to challenges and not make them problems. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.2019-08-0615 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 29: Three Ways a Leader Must Be FlexibleThis episode is an example of why it's important to be flexible. My personal travels and a case of stupidity caused it to drop a day late. Here's what I learned from it, and how it can help you. Show Notes: Episode 23: Musings from Thailand on Self-Differentiation Stewart Butterfield's bio Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.2019-07-2910 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 28: How to Take a Leadership Stand on Controversial Issues (including a Family Systems take on Donald Trump's Leadership Style)As a leader, people want to know where you stand. Learning how to do this in a healthy way creates the possibility for conversations that can lead to effective change. Show Notes: Gun Reform: Speaking Truth to Bullshit, Practicing Civility, and Effecting Change by Brene Brown Trump's Chaos Theory by Lance Morrow What’s Wrong with Donald Trump’s Chaos Theory of Power? by Michael A. Genovese Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.2019-07-2213 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 27: How to Stand up for YourselfThe healthy way to stand up for yourself is to take a non-anxious emotional stand. Avoid reactivity by not arguing and not agreeing. Understanding family systems theory will help you do this. Show notes: Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue by Edwin Friedman Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.2019-07-1518 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 26: How to Handle It When You Are Anxiously AttackedRemaining a non-anxious presence when someone unleashes their anxiety on you is a challenge. The best response is don't argue, don't agree. This requires the ability to self-regulate your own anxiety. This episode explores the best way to do this. Show Notes: Glossary of Family Systems Terms from The Center for Family Systems Theory of Western New York Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts--Becoming the Person You Want to Be by Marshall Goldsmith Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.2019-07-0813 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 25: The Positive Consequences of PainPain is not something to be avoided. It is a part of life and can help us grow. Research on physical pain shows that there can be positive consequences. The same is true for emotional pain.  Show Notes: The Positive Consequences of Pain: A Biopsychosocial Approach by Brock Bastian, Jolanda Jetten, Matthew J. Hornsey and Siri Leknes Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.2019-07-0115 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 24: The Top Five Regrets of the Dying (and How to Avoid Them)On our deathbed, most of our regrets will be things we left undone. Four of the top five are so-called regrets of inaction. Looking at them from a family systems perspective will help to avoid them. Show Notes: This article from Cornell summarizes Tom Gilovich's work on regret. The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departed by Bronnie Ware Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.2019-06-2414 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 23: Musings from Thailand on Self-DifferentiationFood is a proxy for culture, and culture is a system with its own set of unwritten rules that can create surrounding togetherness pressure. Getting outside of our own culture can help us to better self-differentiate. Show notes: Here is a recipe using turmeric marinated tofu. The egg I described in this episode is called a Century Egg. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.2019-06-1713 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 22: The Secret of SuccessThe overnight success is a myth, or at best a rarity. The rest of us have to work at it. Regardless of what you do, there is a proven approach to making an impact. Show Notes: Domino Chain Reaction, a YouTube video by Stephen Morris. It's only 2-1/2 minutes, and well worth watching. The ONE Thing: The Surprisingly Simple Truth behind Extraordinary Results by Gary Keller and Jay Papasan Drip by Drip and the Thunderclap by Seth Godin Fear of Shipping by Seth Godin Episode 5: Procrastinating Smartly...2019-06-0310 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 21: Difficult Conversations Part 2-How to Be a Non-Anxious PresenceEngaging in a difficult conversation takes preparation to enable one to be a non-anxious presence. These techniques will help you to prepare, get started and remain a non-anxious presence. Show Notes: Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen and Roger Fisher Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.2019-05-2719 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 20: Difficult Conversations Part 1: What's Going On in Us?There are three potential conversations that go on in our heads when we are having a difficult conversations: What happened, feelings and identity. Understanding how these work and what to do about them is essential to being a non-anxious presence in challenging interactions. Show Notes: This podcasts references material from Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen and Roger Fisher. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.2019-05-2017 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 19: Self-Regulation--the Key to Being a Non-Anxious PresenceRemaining a non-anxious presence, especially in anxious situations, is the key to effective leadership. This is hard to do. You will feel anxious inside. Learning to regulate your own anxiety can help you be your most effective. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.2019-05-1318 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 18: Pain, the Quick-Fix, Crisis, and Why It's a Great Time to Be a United MethodistIn family systems theory, pain is an opportunity for growth. Our culture promotes pain avoidance and seeking the quick fix. Sometimes the only way to find growth is through a crisis. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.2019-05-0618 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 17: Soap, Innovation and Emergent StrategyVery few organizations are able to sustain effectiveness over the long haul. It requires a balance between planning and adapting to changing circumstances, both of which are needed for innovation and execution. Procter and Gamble is an example of a company that has been able to change with the times. Show Notes: This article from the American Chemical Society documents P&G's history and how it became a technology company. This Harvard Business School article about P&G is a case study on strategic management. The original Fortune 500 from 1955. ...2019-04-2919 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 16: A Family Systems Perspective on Brene Brown's Anatomy of TrustBrene Brown uses the acronym "BRAVING" to describe how to build trust in relationships. Trust is key to effective leadership. Understanding Brown's take from a family systems perspective is helpful in learning to be a non-anxious presence. Show Notes: Brene Brown's talk on the Anatomy of Trust The SPEED of TRUST: The One Thing that Changes Everything, by Stephen M.R. Covey Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.2019-04-2218 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 15: Messy Desks vs. Clean Desks (and Why It Matters)Is a messy desk or clean desk better for productivity and creativity? The answers might surprise you. The results from different studies help us to understand, from a family systems perspective, how we can help the team we work with do their best work. Show Notes: Why Google Encourages Having a Messy Desk, from Business Insider Science Explains What the State of Your Desk Says About You, from Fast Company Got a Messy Work Desk? Study Reveals What Your Coworkers Really Think of You, from Fast Company Why Every...2019-04-1515 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 14: Murphy's Law, Entropy and Managing Your ResponseLeadership is hard. Things go wrong (a lot). Responding as a non-anxious presence is a key to effective leadership.  Sometimes, it's in the worst situations that people can produce their best work. Show Notes: Success Story: Keith Jarrett and the “Unplayable” Piano by Joseph C. Bentley, Ph.D The Koln Concert album. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.2019-04-0812 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 13: Rules, Values and MotivationUnderstanding the relationship between rules, values and motivation can help you as a leader. This is true for any organization, especially those that are mission-based.  Show Notes This article from Business Insider documents one of the Zappos' record calls. Here is Zappos' own post about the call, including a video interview with the customer service rep. This article highlights Southwest Airlines' customer service. This is the post from The Center for Parenting Education on values-based parenting. More from Zappos on their customer obsessed culture. Another article from B...2019-04-0116 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 12: Balancing Gratitude and AmbitionThe benefits of gratitude are proven. But how can one be both grateful and ambitious? It's clear that holding these concepts in their proper perspective is an important aspect of leadership. Show Notes: Here are two articles about gratitude from Psychology Today:  7 Scientifically Proven Benefits of Gratitude Do Gratitude Journals Really Work? 4 New Gratitude Findings From Pediaa.com: What is the Difference Between Ambition and Aspiration The books I mentioned: Imagination of the Heart: New Understandings in Preaching by Paul Scott Wilson 2019-03-2516 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 11: What to Do When You Are Verbally AttackedRemaining a non-anxious presence when someone unloads their anxiety on you is extremely difficult. Learning how emotional process works can give you the perspective to help you be calm. It can also help you to focus on how to respond to reduce the anxiety of the situation, as well avoid taking responsibility for other people's issues. Show Notes: Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue. This is dense reading. But, it is the definitive work on how to be a non-anxious leader. The Bowen Center for the Study of Family. This...2019-03-1819 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 10: Placebos, Commitment Devices and RoutinesUnderstanding how to use the placebo effect and commitment devices can increase your productivity as a leader. This is especially helpful in developing daily routines, which are a series of habits to help you start your day off right and get your most important work done. Show Notes: Here are three articles on the Placebo Effect: Placebos Prove So Powerful Even Experts Are Surprised; New Studies Explore the Brain's Triumph Over Reality (New York Times) More Than Just a Sugar Pill: Why the placebo effect is real (Harvard Graduate School of...2019-03-1115 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 9: Salience, Slug Lines and the Perception of RiskOne job of a leader is to analyze risk appropriately, then make a decision on how to move forward. However, our perception of risk is not always rational. Your ability to discern the difference between perceived risk and real risk will make a difference. This episode deconstructs perceived risk to help you know the difference. Show Notes: Here's an article from The Decision Lab on Salience Bias. Here is everything you need to know about Slug Lines. This is Seth Godin's blog post, Feel Risky. This is Peter Sims...2019-03-0416 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 8: Why You Don't Change Your MindPeople don't negotitate their closely held values. Identity, belief systems and the misattribution of arousal all play a role. Here's why it matters as a leader. Show notes: Why We Hate People Who Disagree: Personal Identity and Civility, by Mark Alicke, Ph.D., from Psychology Today. Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion, by Robert B. Cialdiani, Ph.D. Here is a transcript of the Hidden Brain Podcast episode, Nature, Nurture and Your Politics, featuring University of Nebraska professor John Hibbing. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails2019-02-2520 minThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastThe Non-Anxious Leader PodcastEpisode 7: Emotional Contagion, Humor and Anxiety LevelsLeaders who understand the effects of emotional contagion can help those they work with function at their best. This is especially true in anxiety-producing situations. Humor and playfulness affect both the leader and those around her in positive ways. Show Notes: This article explains how smiling can increase happiness. This article explains emotional contagion and the research that supports the concept. The story about the Rabbi and the 11 year-old who spelled "feces" in Hebrew phonetics is from Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue, by Edwin Friedman, pg. 209. And...2019-02-1814 minThe Listening ChairThe Listening ChairEpisode 8: Jack Shitama - Anxiety-Free LeadershipAs one who trains leaders in ministry settings, Jack Shitama joins us in the Listening Chair and teaches us about how to avoid complacency in life and leadership. We ask him hard hitting questions (related to TV and his journal preferences), and he does not hold back!  Jack talks about finding his faith in his late 20s, and how if he was able to give advice to his younger self, he would have started some habits sooner! "In creating healthy habits, you preserve your willpower and will transform your work." On this podcast stories of a...2018-11-0334 minTurn Every Moment Into a Story With Full AudiobookTurn Every Moment Into a Story With Full AudiobookAnxious Church, Anxious People: How to Lead Change in an Age of Anxiety Audiobook by Jack ShitamaListen to this audiobook in full for free onhttps://hotaudiobook.com/freeID: 340774 Title: Anxious Church, Anxious People: How to Lead Change in an Age of Anxiety Author: Jack Shitama Narrator: Jack Shitama Format: Unabridged Length: 04:08:37 Language: English Release date: 05-15-18 Publisher: Findaway Voices Genres: Religion & Spirituality, Christianity, Counseling & Inspirational Summary: The key to effective church leadership is the ability to be a non-anxious presence. This is not a technique. It is a way of being. It is deceptively simple, but tremendously difficult. Yet, if you are willing to take the journey, you can lead change in even the most...2018-05-154h 08