Shows
A Little Help For Our FriendsThe Hidden Pain of Rejection: Understanding Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria and Its Link to ADHDSend us a text! (add your email to get a response)What happens when criticism feels like a physical blow? For some of you, rejection and criticism trigger an emotional response so intense it has its own name: Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD).In this episode, we deep into the painful world of RSD – that overwhelming feeling of shame and worthlessness that can follow even minor criticism for or rejection. Jacqueline shares a raw, personal story about crying in a supervisor's office following critical feedback, highlighting how even successful people can feel ambushed by the pain of...2025-07-161h 06
A Little Help For Our FriendsUnderstanding Others' Minds: The Science of Mind-Reading in Borderline Personality DisorderSend us a text! (add your email to get a response)What happens when you can't understand what others are thinking or feeling? Why do some people constantly misinterpret your intentions? The answers lie in a fascinating psychological process called mentalization.Mentalization—our ability to understand the thoughts, feelings, and intentions of others and ourselves—forms the foundation of healthy relationships. When this process goes awry, as it often does in Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), relationships become minefields of misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and confusion.In this episode, we delve into Jacqueline's dissertation topic of h...2025-06-181h 01
A Little Help For Our FriendsThe Science of Co-Regulation: Building Safety in RelationshipsSend us a text! (add your email to get a response)Ever wonder why holding your partner's hand during a stressful moment instantly calms you down? The answer lies in the fascinating neurobiological dance of co-regulation – when two nervous systems attune to and influence each other, creating safety, connection, and resilience that neither person could achieve alone.In this episode, we explore the multidimensional nature of co-regulation in romantic relationships, moving beyond the simplistic idea that partners merely "calm each other down." Through personal stories – including TWO exciting life updates for Jacqueline! – we unpack how health...2025-06-111h 00
A Little Help For Our FriendsWhen One Chases and the Other Runs: Understanding the Pursuer-Withdrawer Dynamics in CouplesSend us a text! (add your email to get a response)Feeling stuck in the same arguments with your partner? Does it feel like a cycle of one of you is chasing and the other is running away? In this episode, we talk about the problematic cycle behind recurring relationship conflicts through the lens of Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT).We break down the pursuer-withdrawer dynamic: that frustrating cycle where one person pushes for connection while the other pulls away. What looks like rejection or criticism on the surface actually masks deeper attachment needs and fears. You...2025-06-041h 00
A Little Help For Our FriendsSelf-Hatred: Wrestling With The Hidden DemonSend us a text! (add your email to get a response)Have you ever had the unsettling realization that perhaps you don't like yourself very much? That underneath all your accomplishments, relationships, and hard work, there's a persistent voice whispering that you're somehow fundamentally flawed? In this very personal episode, we dive into the connection between childhood trauma and the development of negative core beliefs that can manifest as self-loathing. When children experience abuse or emotional neglect, especially from parents who refuse to acknowledge their harmful behavior, the child often internalizes the belief that they're inherently bad...2025-05-211h 15
A Little Help For Our FriendsSex After Trauma: How PTSD Affects Sexual IntimacySend us a text! (add your email to get a response)The invisible connection between trauma and sexual intimacy affects countless relationships, yet remains largely hidden in silence and shame. In this episode, we dive deep into why PTSD creates significant barriers to healthy sexual function—even when the original trauma had nothing to do with sex.Sexual arousal shares remarkable physiological similarities with threat response, creating a devastating paradox for trauma survivors. The racing heart, flushed skin, and heightened sensitivity that should signal pleasure become warning signs of danger to a traumatized nervous system. Be...2025-05-1457 min
A Little Help For Our FriendsInterview with Dr. Jordan Quaglia: The Science of We-Care beyond Self-CareSend us a text! (add your email to get a response)Do we always have to choose between caring for ourselves vs. caring for others? Nope! Dr. Jordan Quaglia, associate professor at Naropa University, introduces us to "We-Care" – a revolutionary approach to caring that blends self-care and caring for others into an integrated practice where they mutually reinforce each other.Drawing from over a decade of research in mindfulness, compassion, and boundaries, Dr. Quaglia explains how self-care has evolved from a medical term to today's ubiquitous wellness practice, but suggests we're now ready for something mo...2025-05-071h 11
A Little Help For Our FriendsInterview with Madison Errichiello: Love is Blind, Loss, and Healing through TraumaSend us a text! (add your email to get a response)Madison Errichiello steps out of the "Love is Blind" pods and into a raw, illuminating conversation about healing from trauma and finding strength in vulnerability. Known for her openness about mental health on the show, Madison joins us to reveal the deeper layers behind what viewers saw – and how reality TV editing shaped public perception of her journey."I don't wear this trauma as a coat," Madison explains, addressing misconceptions about her willingness to discuss her difficult past. Growing up between two drastically different ho...2025-04-161h 01
A Little Help For Our FriendsSelf-Pity: The Social Costs of Wallowing In Your TroublesSend us a text! (add your email to get a response)Ever found yourself wanting to scream when someone launches into their hundredth "woe is me" monologue? Yep, we've been there. In this episode, we talk about one of the more isolating coping mechanisms: self-pity.We break down exactly what makes self-pity so aggravating for loved ones—that toxic combination of helplessness, victim mentality, and emotional quicksand that seems to pull everyone down. Unlike genuine sadness or grief, self-pity comes with an external locus of control that rejects solutions while demanding endless reassurance. It's the "he...2025-04-0959 min
A Little Help For Our FriendsArrested Development: The Generational Trauma of Emotionally Immature ParentsSend us a text! (add your email to get a response)Are your parents bad at dealing with difficult emotions? Do they fall apart, ignore, criticize or withdraw when you need them the most? Emotional immaturity in parents causes profound ripple effects through generations, creating patterns many of us don't recognize until we're deep into adulthood. Based on Dr. Lindsay Gibson's model of emotional immaturity, we describe the four distinct types of emotionally immature parents —emotional, driven, passive, and rejecting—and how each type uniquely shapes their children's development.We explore why this topic has expl...2025-03-121h 02
A Little Help For Our FriendsTransforming Defensiveness: From Conflict to Connection in RelationshipsSend us a text! (add your email to get a response)If defending yourself is important for protecting your self-respect in relationships, then why is "defensiveness" so bad? In this episode, we discuss "acceptable" and "not acceptable" defensiveness and cover strategies to transform those knee-jerk defensive reactions into opportunities for growth and connection. We talk about how to navigate the tricky terrain of criticism—whether it involves character slights or behavior-focused feedback. We peel back the layers of defensiveness, from professional settings to the nuanced dynamics within friendships and romantic relationships. Societal issues like microaggressions pla...2025-02-191h 11
A Little Help For Our FriendsPlastic Surgery: Navigating Self-Love, Societal Pressure, and Body ImageSend us a text! (add your email to get a response)Is plastic surgery a sign of self-improvement or a lack of self-love? In this episode, we reflect on this question after both of our (first?) major plastic surgery procedures: Kibby's double mastectomy for breast cancer treatment and Jacqueline’s decision to undergo liposuction. We question societal standards and the stigma surrounding body modifications, challenging the notion that altering one's appearance is inherently negative.We address our evolution of body image as we age, where societal norms and personal perceptions often clash. Jacqueline opens up ab...2025-01-2257 min
A Little Help For Our FriendsNavigating Boundaries and Grief: Dr. Caitlin Fang's Journey Through Family Mental Health ChallengesSend us a text! (add your email to get a response)When faced with the heart-wrenching decision to set boundaries with a loved one battling mental health issues, the choice is never easy. Many of us choose to estrange ourselves and cut off contact with difficult parents for our own wellbeing, but we also risk losing them forever. In this special episode, psychotherapist Dr. Caitlin Fang returns to share her deeply personal experiences with her mother, who struggled with depression, substance abuse, and schizoaffective disorder. She takes us through the emotional labyrinth of setting boundaries to protect...2024-12-261h 10
A Little Help For Our FriendsBreaking Free from Narcissistic Parents: Healing, Self-Worth, and Healthier RelationshipsSend us a text! (add your email to get a response)When you grow up in a household where love feels conditional, and your sense of self-worth hinges on meeting impossibly high standards. In this episode, we discuss the challenges faced by those who have navigated life with narcissistic parents. We explore the emotional scars left by such upbringing, including struggles with low self-esteem and attachment issues. We also discuss how our personal and clinical experiences fueled our inspiration to build KulaMind, a community platform dedicated to helping people foster healthier relationships and developing a sense of...2024-12-181h 04
A Little Help For Our FriendsSurviving the Holidays: Tips for maintaining sanity through family dysfunctionSend us a text! (add your email to get a response)Tis the season to be overwhelmed by family dysfunction! The holidays often unravel unresolved family dynamics and we often have to balance time with loved ones and our own sanity. In this episode, we delve into the emotional triggers that resurface during festive gatherings, like feeling like a child again around older relatives. We highlight the contrast between the idealized holiday narrative and the complex reality, especially when trying to set boundaries or deal with family conflicts. We share practical strategies for handling the post-New Year's b...2024-11-2743 min
A Little Help For Our FriendsEstrangement: The rising trend of cutting off toxic family membersSend us a text! (add your email to get a response)Welcome back to the first episode of our fifth season! Whether it's a temporary break or a permanent distance, many of us have cut off contact with a family member when the relationship has gotten too difficult. Estrangement is on the rise as more people are deciding to cut off contact with their parents to protect their mental health. In this episode, we discuss the different ways adult children become estranged from their parents and what strategies can support reconciliation. We draw from the teachings of...2024-10-021h 12
A Little Help For Our FriendsSeason 4 Wrap up: From feeling lost to...a little less lostSend us a text! (add your email to get a response)Well, this year has been trying, to say the least. From losing a beloved pet, coping with cancer, and career transitions, we open up about the challenges we've had to overcome throughout season 4. In this episode, we recap the season and reflect on the strategies we used to rebuild our resilience amidst turbulence. We also dive into how our struggles impacted our friendship, forcing us to face deeper questions about unconditional love. We also remember how much family, friends, and other loved ones play such a...2024-08-1449 min
A Little Help For Our FriendsDating Borderline Personality DisorderSend us a text! (add your email to get a response)Love can feel "dysregulated" even in the best relationships with intense infatuation, disappointments, intimacy, and heartbreak. However, dating someone with borderline personality disorder (BPD) means these ups and downs can get extreme. In this episode, we talk about what it's like to be in a romantic relationship with BPD. We also give tips for people coping with a partner with BPD and other signs of emotion regulation problems.Resources:If you're dating someone with BPD and need support, check out KulaMind or fill...2024-06-191h 03
A Little Help For Our FriendsParasocial Relationships: Connecting to the StarsSend us a text! (add your email to get a response)When our levels of Netflix binges get so intense, we end up spending more time with our favorite characters or celebrities than anyone else in our lives. The connections we have to these stars is called parasocial relationships. In this episode, we delve into parasocial relationships, why we need them and what they do for us. We also discuss how in the digital age, we have a window into the personal lives of our favorite celebrities, blurring the lines between our parasocial relationships and "real" relationships...2024-05-0958 min
A Little Help For Our FriendsEscaping the Trap: Unveiling the Reality of Narcissistic AbuseSend us a text! (add your email to get a response)Relationships with narcissists can be thrilling, consuming, and completely devastating. Narcissists try to fill the void of their own insecurities by controlling or exploiting their loved ones, creating patterns of narcissistic abuse. In this episode, we talk about how people can tell if they're a victim of narcissistic abuse and what this unhealthy relationship looks like according to Monique Dauphin. We also share tips about how to support a loved one who is being abused by a narcissist. Resources:If you or your loved o...2024-04-241h 02
A Little Help For Our FriendsThe Big C: Living and Loving with CancerSend us a text! (add your email to get a response)Kibby has some unfortunate news to share: She has just been diagnosed with stage 2 breast cancer. As much of a shock as it is, cancer rates are on the rise in younger adults and no one knows why. Such a devastating illness can turn someone's life upside down in an instant- for the people diagnosed and also their loved ones. In this episode, Kibby and Jacqueline try to process this emotional rollercoaster and how can we support our loved ones living with cancer.Resources:2024-01-251h 10
A Little Help For Our FriendsFor Richer or Poorer: Fixing the Business Partner RelationshipSend us a text! (add your email to get a response)It's an exciting time when entrepreneurs find the perfect business partner to co-found a new company. However, many don't realize that a staggering 65% of startups fail because of cofounder conflicts. Entrepreneurs who overlook the importance of their business partner relationships are at high risk of misunderstandings, strategy disagreements, or role confusion that can tear a venture apart. In this episode, Kibby talks about how her company Seon Health aims to address this crucial dynamic with evidence-based couples therapy and interpersonal interventions. Special Offer:2023-11-0953 min
A Little Help For Our FriendsSeason 3 Wrap UpSend us a text! (add your email to get a response)We wrap up season 3 reflecting on this doozy of a year. Around a year ago, Jacqueline and Kibby were coming back from Portugal where Jacqueline was breaking off an engagement and Kibby was gestating a huge baby. We talk about the lessons learned during these major life changes, which inspired our episodes on healing from difficult relationships, postpartum depression, and men.Support the showIf you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues, join KulaMind, our community and support platform2023-09-1451 min
A Little Help For Our FriendsA Personal Experience with Postpartum DepressionSend us a text! (add your email to get a response)In every episode, we talk about people struggling with mental health, and we are no exception. Kibby has been dealing with postpartum depression (PPD), exacerbated by identity shifts and sleep deprivation that are common with new parents. In this episode, we talk about Kibby's personal experience with depression and how it directly affected her relationship with Jacqueline. We share what steps Kibby's taking to recovery that are often recommended to those with PPD. Check out: Sarah Bossio (www.yourzenbabysleep.com), the coach that helped...2023-04-2649 min
A Little Help For Our FriendsThe Mind-Body Connection in TraumaSend us a text! (add your email to get a response)The words of Thai Massage Master Pichest, we need to learn to "listen to body." Trauma and other emotions live in the body, sometimes sending us important signals through our physical sensations and physical health. In this episode, we talk about the magical connection between the mind and the body. Kibby also reminisces about her yoga teaching and Thai massage days when she learned the healing power of the body in the middle of a rice patty in Chiang Mai.Check out: Van der...2023-03-0841 min
A Little Help For Our FriendsLong-Term Signs of Emotional AbuseSend us a text! (add your email to get a response)Emotional abuse can be the sneakiest form of abuse because sometimes we're not even sure it's happening. A slightly sarcastic insult, a veiled threat, or a judgment on your intentions, emotional (or"psychological") abuse is harder to detect than physical violence, but can wreak havoc on your mental health for years. In this episode, we describe what emotional abuse is and what are its long term effects. Check out the Emotional Abuse QuestionnaireMcMahon, K., Hoertel, N., Wall, M. M., Okuda, M...2023-02-0852 min
A Little Help For Our FriendsAvoidant Personality DisorderSend us a text! (add your email to get a response)Is your loved one an expert ghoster or the first one to run from a social situation? People with avoidant personality disorder (AVPD) are not just shy or a little aloof, but avoid relationships and social situations in order to hide a deep sense of inadequacy. In this episode, we describe what AVPD is, how it's different from similar disorders like social anxiety, how it's treated, and tips for loved ones of people with AVPD.If you need help dealing with a loved...2022-12-2246 min
A Little Help For Our FriendsHistrionic Personality DisorderSend us a text! (add your email to get a response)Do you have a loved one who is always the life of the party, everyone's best friend, and a "drama queen"? If so, they may have a touch of histrionic personality disorder! In this episode, we describe what histrionic personality disorder is and how it could be difficult for loved ones. Then, Kibby has a crushing realization about her own history with histrionic personality disorder and loses track of everything after that. Read more about HPD here: Pfohl, B. (1991). Histrionic personality disorder: A review of...2022-12-1450 min
A Little Help For Our FriendsThe Joys and Horrors of New ParenthoodSend us a text! (add your email to get a response)People often say that becoming a parent is "the hardest thing" but also "the most joy you'll ever experience." What the hell does that even mean? As Kibby just became a new mom only a few weeks ago, she breaks down why having a newborn can be both amazing and challenging. We also discuss how crucial loved ones are during this time and how you can support a friend or family member who just became a parent. Support the showIf...2022-11-0957 min
A Little Help For Our FriendsDifficult Decisions in Romance: Breaking off an EngagementSend us a text! (add your email to get a response)We always have to make difficult decisions in romantic relationships, such as whom to choose, whether we should commit to someone, or when to leave. Although loved ones can sometimes want to weigh in on our difficult romantic decisions, it's hard for them to know exactly how to help. In this episode, we discuss Jacqueline's recent difficult decision to break off her engagement, what lead up to the decision, and the role that her loved ones played. We also share insights from the research on how...2022-10-261h 02
A Little Help For Our FriendsInterview with Jared Glenn: Bridging Social DividesSend us a text! (add your email to get a response)A common question we get is "what to do with the Fox News dad?" In other words, how do we maintain our relationships with our loved ones during this time of social divide and polarization? In this episode, we discuss these issues with Jared Glenn, who evolved from a life as a professional fighter to a historian, academic, writer, and advocate for youth through the All Stars Project. Jared shares insights from his personal and professional experiences with racial, political and economic social barriers and gives...2022-05-251h 19
A Little Help For Our FriendsRelationship OCDSend us a text! (add your email to get a response)Do you or your loved ones obsess about being in the right relationship or being with the right partner? Although those questions are very common in every relationship, at an extreme level could be considered relationship obsessive-compulsive disorder (ROCD). ROCD is an understudied and relatively new form of obsessive-compulsive disorder that can interfere with intimacy or relational wellbeing. In this episode, we define ROCD, share the insights and tips from recent research, and speculate wildly about whether Jacqueline has it or not.2022-05-1849 min
A Little Help For Our FriendsAll about ASMRSend us a text! (add your email to get a response)ASMR, or Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response, is a tingling, pleasurable sensation you can get from listening to certain sounds or visuals. This mysterious and curious phenomenon has inspired an explosion of internet communities and resources in recent years, with some notable mental health benefits. For this episode, we discuss this growing trend with ASMR content creator Danny Docile, who explains what ASMR is, how he got into this work, and even gives us a little demonstration! If anything, tune into this episode to hear Danny's lovely...2022-05-1142 min
A Little Help For Our FriendsGuiltSend us a text! (add your email to get a response)We feel guilty when we do something wrong, driving us to fix it, apologize or repair. Sounds great, doesn't it? As helpful as guilt can be sometimes, extreme levels or pathological guilt can drive symptoms of many mental health issues such as OCD, depression, PTSD or prolonged grief. In this episode, we discuss what guilt is, what pathological levels of guilt look like, and tips for yourself or loved ones to address problems with guilt.Support the showIf you're navigating...2022-05-0445 min
A Little Help For Our FriendsDisgustSend us a text! (add your email to get a response)We're all familiar with disgust as the feeling of our stomach churning or scrunching our noses at the sight of something gross, but does this feeling lead to mental health issues? In this episode, we discuss how disgust may play an important role in many psychiatric disorders such as anxiety, OCD and even trauma. We also discuss the different types of disgust and strategies that could be helpful for coping with this emotion.Support the showIf you're navigating someone's...2022-04-2740 min
A Little Help For Our FriendsShame and Borderline Personality DisorderSend us a text! (add your email to get a response)Do you ever feel a little embarrassed when you do something foolish? Or do you ever feel so deeply ashamed of yourself that you hide from the world or lash out at others? These are different levels of shame, which can sometimes cause serious problems in your identity and relationships. In extreme forms, shame can be the core of borderline personality disorder (BPD). In this episode, we will define shame and highlight different ways people react to shame. Jacqueline will share her recent research into the...2022-04-1357 min
A Little Help For Our FriendsPregnancy and Mental HealthSend us a text! (add your email to get a response)Pregnancy is a wild ride of physical transformations, swells of emotion, and confusing hormones. So many changes can be taxing for mental health, both for the mother to be and her social support system. In this episode, we discuss Kibby's first pregnancy journey and the research on the mental health issues and treatment for pregnancy. We also share tips for partners and loved ones to support the process.Support the showIf you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues, 2022-04-0654 min
A Little Help For Our FriendsCutting Out AlcoholSend us a text! (add your email to get a response)Have you been knocking back a few too many glasses of Chardonnay these days? You're not alone. Especially after the pandemic, many people have noticed that they or their loved ones have started drinking a little too much alcohol (or indulging in other drugs) and want to cut down. However, sometimes "just stopping" isn't as easy as it sounds. In this episode, Jacqueline and Kibby talk about their recent experiences cutting back on drinking and share tips from Community Reinforcement and Family Training for how loved...2022-03-3053 min
A Little Help For Our FriendsInterview with Dr. Schooler: Discovered Memories of AbuseSend us a text! (add your email to get a response)Is it possible to suddenly remember if you've been abused? We discuss this highly controversial topic with Dr. Jonathan Schooler, a distinguished professor in the Psychological and Brain Sciences department at University of California Santa Barbara. As one of the only researchers brave enough to tackle this topic, Dr. Schooler describes his work on memories of abuse and other early traumas that were discovered later in life. He shares insights from the research as well as some speculations on how we can tell if a discovered...2022-03-2344 min
A Little Help For Our FriendsHow to Change your EmotionsSend us a text! (add your email to get a response)Do you have emotions you struggle with, like intense sadness, anxiety and anger that can get you into trouble? Sometimes when we have intense emotions, we can act in ways that can even make the situation worse, like getting into arguments or running away from a situation. To follow up on our CBT skills series, we discuss strategies for changing these unhealthy emotional patterns. We discuss emotions, how we behave when we're emotional, and a skill to change our emotions from the Unified Protocol treatment. 2022-03-1653 min