Shows
Unwise Girls203: Spring Break - MisericordeMisericorde: Volume One
Lord, forgive us, for we are podcasters. This week, Jane and Jacqueline don their tunics, veils, wimples, scapulars and habits in order to properly talk about the first chapter of Xeecee's instant-classic visual novel Misericorde. We try and cover at least some of the breadth of what this massively impressive game gives us in its first part, and in doing we discuss historical bishops, ahistorical card games, freaks full of black bile, women who are just autistic, Laura Palmers, put-upon prioresses, gay people, and Mabel. Thanks, God!
Come back next week for...2025-06-141h 04Unwise Girls200: Spring Break - Meet the HostsUs! Jane and Jacqueline!
It feels just like yesterday that we were talking about a Rick Riordan book and celebrating our 100th episode. Now, we're not talking about a Rick Riordan book and not celebrating our 100th episode! Things change so quickly! This week, we decided to bravely not discuss an interesting media property and instead share a little - and I do mean a little - about ourselves. Ever curious what inspired us to make Unwise Girls? What we do in our free time? Social security number? Our favorite pizza toppings? Other podcasts we enjoy? Never-recorded...2025-05-1056 min
Unwise Girls188: Joe Walsh's Last StandThe Burning Maze, ch. 22 to 28
This week on Unwise Girls, oops! Maybe we spoke too soon on finally liking the book. We discuss Jane's quirky neuroses, the weak mysteries of love and the heart, broing out, waiting for that damn Styx curse, total Leo memoryholes, Apollo's strange taste in partners across history, Black Dynamite, Rick's heavy reliance on obscure music references to support character arcs, the Marvel movie that Rick was absolutely influenced by, monsters that matter (and monsters that don't), fish opinions, the crossover we want to see more than anything, and nature's little surprises.
2025-02-0744 min
Unwise Girls181: Doge PoetryThe Dark Prophecy, ch. 22 to 25
This week on Unwise Girls we talk about when Rick Riordan does and doesn't use characters' powers to underscore their arcs, when monsters become people, Jimmy and Jamie, a series of increasingly unfunny bits in prison, the immense gulf between Leo and Apollo, vindication for one of Jane's old theories, and Apollo's shaky ability to trust while he's vulnerable.
Come back next week for The Dark Prophecy, ch. 26 to 31!
Check out our Patreon! (https://www.patreon.com/unwisegirls)
Follow the show (https://twitter.com/unwisegirls)
2024-11-2256 min
Unwise Girls178: Getting Lit All Over AgainThe Dark Prophecy ch. 10 to 13
This week on Unwise Girls we discuss Jane's unwise opinions on cauliflower, Meg's sick new fast travel power, magic 8 ball predictions, the funny new trend in characters that Rick Riordan doesn't want you to notice, more Horrible Histories talk, super brutal dreams, and the return of a beloved(?) Heroes of Olympus character.
Come back next week for The Dark Prophecy, ch. 14 to 17!
Check out our Patreon! (https://www.patreon.com/unwisegirls)
Follow the show (https://twitter.com/unwisegirls)
Join our Discord! (https://discord.gg...2024-10-2548 min
Unwise Girls175: Shadows Under the ColossusThe Hidden Oracle, ch. 35 to 39
This week on Unwise Girls, we close out The Hidden Oracle by talking about uncapitalized-on moments of angst, actually thematically relevant climaxes, MMO poison aura, an unexpectedly horny crossover, the surprising return of an old theory of Jane's, Rick's pachinko fixation, good people, carefully eliding relationship cleanup, the happy return of Hunkmuffin and company, and how we rate this overall in the grand scheme of Riordan's work.
Come back next week for The Dark Prophecy, ch. 1 to 5!
Check out our Patreon! (https://www.patreon.com/unwisegirls)
...2024-09-281h 00
Unwise Girls171: No More Luke TraumaThe Hidden Oracle, ch. 19 to 22
This week on Unwise Girls we talk about the animal world turning against Jane, slowing the pace down, missed opportunities for some great black comedy, the death of The Sun King, superhero origin stories and our fan-casting, retcons that work more or less smoothly, some real uncomfortable implications about Rachel Elizabeth Dare's relationship with Apollo, traitor theories, and House Harpies.
Come back next week for The Hidden Oracle, ch. 23 to 26!
Check out our Patreon! (https://www.patreon.com/unwisegirls)
Follow the show (https://twitter.com/unwisegirls)2024-08-2444 minUnwise Girls163: Torture Prison is Good*The Ship of the Dead, ch. 37 to 42
This week on Unwise Girls, we start off strong with a lot of enthusia - wait, Jane, no, take your hand off the steering wheel! You're driving us straight off a cliff!! Instead of mindless gushing, we have to face questions about if Magnus's character really holds up in time for the climax, Avatar finale problems, purposefully dorky description, the state of Halfborn's virginity, mythical castles and the boring giants that live in them, the God crystal, a new age of Algnus, a couple of good bits, and what found...2024-06-2259 minUnwise Girls160: Own Goal Car BombThe Ship of the Dead, ch. 19 to 24
This week on Unwise Girls we talk about Jane's big travel mistake, a pretty dead-on depiction of York, the psychology of TJ, the troubles with assuming someone's gender, also just The Troubles, triage, Seinfeld, things you probably can't actually blame on Loki, Riordan's signature childhood animal trauma, and highly conspicuous Tolkien references.
Come back next week for The Ship of the Dead, ch. 25 to 30!
Check out The Disappearance of Lydia Fountayne! (https://www.lydiadisappears.com/)
Also check out The Maniculum's new Kickstarter! (https://www...2024-05-3155 minUnwise Girls159: Thank You, The BritishThe Ship of the Dead, ch. 13 to 18
Remember feet? We used to laugh about feet. Nowadays, when feet come up, all we can do is sigh and shake our heads. This week on Unwise Girls we talk about how Jane has sold out, Loki's greatest trick yet, gawping at toes, what place honor and goodness have in worldbuilding, workplace psychopathy, Alex's favorite anime, internalized anti-Irish prejudice, expanding your worldviews, and transphobicparents.mp4.
Come back next week for The Ship of the Dead, ch. 19 to 24!
Check out The Disappearance of Lydia Fountayne! (https://www...2024-05-1758 minUnwise Girls157: Magnus's Cousin's Boyfriend with the PriusThe Ship of the Dead, ch. 1 to 6
If you haven't trimmed your toenails yet, this book may yet be your reminder. We've entered the final book of Magnus Chase! This week we discuss our general enthusiasm which is partially propelled by a perfunctory and performative but still pretty pleasant Percy appearance, a trip into Randolph's dirty laundry, the hallmates finally (maybe?) getting to become characters, Jane's life converging with the book, cisphobia, the disappearance of the valkyries, and a return of our least favorite Cover Corner special feature: Oops, There's Whitewashing!
Come back next week...2024-05-031h 24Unwise Girls155: Taco Bell xDThe Hammer of Thor, ch. 46 to 50
This week on Unwise Girls, Jane and Jacqueline are... a bit disgruntled as they discuss Hammer of Thor has swerved away from Son of Neptune and straight into The Lost Hero as character arcs fail to add up to an interesting finale, Rick's prejudices continue to show through in how the villains are presented, Loki deserves an ambiguous amount of pity for being in eternal torture prison, old guy references occur with a bit too much aplomb, and Thor - as always - farts... but this time on film!
...2024-04-2253 minUnwise Girls154: Aaahhh~The Hammer of Thor, ch. 41 to 45
(content warning: this week we talk about the book's questionable inclusion of a looming threat of sexual violence against a teenage girl, and that's from about 31:50 to 34:30)
This week, Jane, Jay, Marn and Andrew return for another episode of Unwise Girls as they talk about these chapters super normal-style, including such topics as incredibly new hobbies, the equilibrium of Rick Riordan swinging between mild transphobia and mild allyship, The Who, Jane's favorite celebrity, how we would incorporate Tres Navarre into the Camp Half-Blood Chronicles, pseudo-Sapphic HOA meetings in Asgard...2024-04-1356 minUnwise Girls147: Magnus ChaserThe Hammer of Thor, ch. 6 to 10
This week on Unwise Girls, we're kind of stumped. Rick Riordan... provided us with free material for the Not Cishet segment? Well, let's not look a gift horse in the mouth! This week we discuss the introduction of our new favorite character Alex Fierro, a new set of celebrity einherji, Magnus's clunky writing style, what happens behind Loki and Randolph's closed door, the hubris of giving your kid a rune, and an extended bit about Chiron that Jacqueline questionably decided to leave in.
Come back next week for The...2024-02-171h 05Unwise Girls138: Rules for Dating my Teenage Frost GiantessesThe Sword of Summer, ch. 53 to 58
As one glorious, awful battle does not a victory secure in the grand tapestry of war, so too does this glorious, awful episode of our podcast not secure our place in the world of podcasts. And yet, we persist! This week on Unwise Girls we talk about Sam's need to prove herself to a system that hates her, Gunilla's racism backstory, Jackass stunts, the pace of this ending, fairy tale rules lawyering, how systems of law are designed to exploit and kill with a veneer of politeness and security, Jane's incredibly...2023-12-011h 05Unwise Girls134: Edit Out Those Whiskers!The Sword of Summer, ch. 29 to 34
(cw: discussion of incest)
After our sick week, we've returned with the first real portion of this book's main adventure! This week on Unwise Girls we talk about Magnus filtering the Norse pantheon through his own worldview, how one copes with existential knowledge, the solidarity of the food court, exploring both the real world and the fantastical, the American ideal, Valkyrie's double lives, The Sniler, how easy it is to become a pilot, Jacqueline's greatest mid-point pivot yet, the violence of a promise, getting filled with a great emotion...2023-10-271h 13Unwise Girls130: Looking a Bit SaxonyThe Sword of Summer, ch. 7 to 12
This week on Unwise Girls, we discuss a new proposal for Rick Riordan ghostwriter theory, how Magnus's narrative voice really distinguishes him from past protagonists (and where we think that comes from in the character's history), nerve damage, organ damage, asthma damage, damage to the historical preservation of religious practices and beliefs due to Christianization, 2010s Tumblr nerdiness, free-spirited bisexual moms in your area, The Gospel of Loki, Hotel Valhalla, locked doors, Thomas Jefferson, Jr., and double lives. Then Jane and Jacqueline died. The end.
Come back next week...2023-09-231h 16
Unwise Girls128: Your Brain on HeteroDemigods and Magicians
On this momentous day of Jane's birthday, we also celebrate our very first ever crossover book, Demigods and Magicians! It's three short stories where the Kane siblings, Percy, and Annabeth all get to go on a big adventure to stop one of our absolute favorite villains Rick Riordan's ever made. We discuss milkshake astrology, Percy Jackson's big British change, torquing off, accidental racism, comic book misunderstandings, saying goodbye to a set of protagonists for the first time, a welcome return to residing in the real world, Codename: Kids Next Door rules, how the mist...2023-09-091h 08Unwise Girls127: Mementos for ZigzogThe Heroes of Olympus retrospective
After over a year of flying along with these funny kids on their silly dragon boat, Jane and Jacqueline have finally come to the end of their journey with the Heroes of Olympus! In this retrospective, in what may be our longest episode yet, we hand out a whole slew of awards, really tear into the themes, and try to figure out exactly why we've come away from this series with the impression we did of its quality. Along the way we also rank every book in the series, finally actually talk...2023-09-022h 01Unwise Girls125: Unwise ZeusThe Blood of Olympus, ch. 49 to 52
In the penultimate episode of our coverage of The Blood of Olympus, we find ourselves at odds once again. Passivity versus activity! Appeasement versus justice! Protecting the world against climate change versus... well, I guess climate change! This week, we talk about Zeus and Jason's relationship, Jacqueline's cry counter, post-battle friskiness, conflicts being born and then promptly tossed in the dumpster out back, the recurring abused villainess, stakes that were raised and then set at that level forever, Hazel getting fully ghosted by the book, confusing prophecy mechanics, demigod language magic...2023-08-191h 08Unwise Girls123: Chekhov's GooThe Blood of Olympus, ch. 41 to 44!
Now that Jacqueline's trapped in a dank, dark basement, she's had plenty of time to read the chapters and contend with one simple idea: it may just be the mold and the chill, but is The Blood of Olympus ... not so good? This week, we talk about the reduced impact of multiple title drops, Piper doing Solid Snake stuff, the glue that holds together Percy and Annabeth, the Chase family Thanksgiving, knock-on effects of not spending enough time at camp, total destruction ideology, worse Prometheus, scary pagan rituals, and zombees.
2023-08-0453 minUnwise Girls112: Just Six Days From RetirementThe House of Hades, ch. 63 to 68
This week on Unwise Girls, we talk about emotional edging, Tartarus (the guy), the return of just three rooms, Coach Hedge tearjerkers, Clarisse bonus lore, swinging around Europe, eternal damnation elevators, the similar family dynamics of the Titans and the Olympians, a new special perk that comes with being a patron, Jacqueline's pitch perfect Roy Mustang rap, Frank finally becoming the leader he was meant to be, Lord of the Rings influence, and how hard it is to remember details between books.
Come back next week for The House...2023-05-1257 minUnwise Girls96: Lost Mine of MacGyverThe Mark of Athena, ch. 33 to 36
Oh no, that horrible crawling thing with eight legs, could it be...? That's right, it's Unwise Girls! We're back in the mines this week to talk about excruciatingly relatable moments of pain, how the Mark of Athena is just a beginner dungeon crawl, big mothers, male living spaces, a rare Jane-presented mythology corner, what it means for a god in a pantheon to be called 'foreign', Roman Holiday, the god in the Amazon package, the economy of villains, and how it's really convenient how little time these characters have to interrogate...2023-01-1359 minUnwise Girls93: Certified Gank MomentThe Mark of Athena, ch. 21 to 24
Glub glub, we're fishin' for the big one this week on Unwise Girls! As our group of intrepid New Neo Civil War collaborators finally head off into the Atlantic, we end up covering a bunch of major, earth-shattering revelations... including the fact that Jane totally ruined our cover art! Apart from that, we talk about these chapters being suspiciously light for how much they offhandedly add to the world, dating sometimes being very different than just being nerd best friends, injury pissing contests, Gaea the liar, a potential Tres Navarre crossover...2022-12-2446 minUnwise Girls90: The Astounding Adventures of Lightning BoyThe Mark of Athena, ch. 9 to 12
Time to pay the Piper! This week on Unwise Girls's consistently impressed adventure through Mark of Athena, we talk about Jane being way too easily hornswoggled, Piper's self-doubt manifesting in the form of civil war, a son of Neptune definitely still being able to drown if we have anything to say about it, dudebro competitions, head injury counts, the Argogan Trail video game, Leo skydiving down our character rankings, Mr. D's job qualifications, horse measuring contests, names not actually having power, why it's fucked up to love someone romantically, and the...2022-12-021h 00Unwise Girls89: Heterosexuality AffirmationsThe Mark of Athena, ch. 5 to 8
Well, it's the second set of chapters, which - based on the past five or so books we've read - means it's time for us to start being disappointed with the book! Hmmm... but wait, it's still good? So good that it inspired Jane to form a complete and unified theory of the Riordanverse? Cool! This week, we discuss refreshing boys, love triangles that we don't hate, the war Octavian should've started, the Batman v. Superman of stakes, the vacuum that is Coach Hedge, sub and domme antagonists, gigachads, and what...2022-11-2659 minUnwise Girls86: Et Tu, Jacqueline?The Son of Neptune, ch. 49 to 52
Despite our high hopes for this book coming off of The Lost Hero, The Son of Neptune has come to a sputtering end and even its biggest supporter is grabbing a knife to put it in the ground. Focusing mostly on a huge battle where none of the conflict ultimately affects the plot, we can't even find respite in Rick Riordan's usual specialty of compelling characters. Instead, we finally close this door-stopper and let ourselves go into full autopsy mode. We talk about the world's holiest bludgeon, Mars having shooters all...2022-11-041h 19Unwise GirlsNectar of the Pods: Episode 15 - HerculE3!Hercules (1997 film)
hey folks!!! jacqueline here, i got really sick this week and my voice died so we couldn't record - so here's a bonus episode we technically promised we'd put out uhhh (checks notes) over a year ago? that can't be right! anyway, we talk about the movie HERCULES in it!!!! if you like hearing us do that, find more of that over on the patreon!
in this episode, to quote the original description, "we speculate wildly about which Egyptian God Cards will appear in the Kane Chronicles, talk about the progress of Samus...2022-10-2248 minUnwise Girls83: Frank Ocean's ElevenThe Son of Neptune, ch. 37 to 40
(sorry for the audio troubles this week, folks! jane's using a new laptop and due to this-and-that some of her words end up getting cut off throughout)
This week on Unwise Girls, we talk about Rick's GMing mistakes, public transportation woes, big boys with big dogs, Octavian doing classic Roman stuff and Percy doing classic Greek stuff, Lightning Thief-level descriptiveness, the mythological layer beyond our world, Jane declaring war on Alaska, ecofascism basically making sense as the villain of the series, Hazel's minecraft world, and the alternate universe where...2022-10-071h 00Unwise Girls82: The Most Cishet Boy AliveThe Son of Neptune, ch. 33 to 36
It's basically all Frank Zhang for the Unwise Girls this week, folks! After a quick detour to the land of new releases to give our thoughts on The Sun and the Star, we talk about Rick Riordan making theories sound like facts, a pretty full dissection of Frank's character so far, Jane bringing out her STEM skill to understand family trees, a double Prophecy Prediction Corner, the way siblings can have different relationships with their parents and how that's reflected through the aspects of the gods, our first ever normal adult...2022-09-3056 minUnwise Girls81: Nathan FemillionThe Son of Neptune, ch. 29 to 32
This week on Unwise Girls, we talk about the road trip format wearing thin, femdom Amazon, Jane's special tips for dictators, Jacqueline's brain and audio crackling (sorry!), how abuse can complicate forgiveness as a concept, the literal horse, a long-needed sexyman return, the weird shit Neptune is into offscreen, competing Riordanverses, and how lacking we are of a Luke.
Come back next week for The Son of Neptune, ch. 33 to 36!
Check out our Patreon! (https://www.patreon.com/unwisegirls)
Follow the show (https://twitter.com...2022-09-2448 minUnwise Girls79: Bad Dragon GrandpaThe Son of Neptune, ch. 21 to 24
(cw: we tell detailed stories about wasp encounters in this one)
This week's episode of Unwise Girls is very special - it's Jane's birthday!!!! Yayyy!!!!! To celebrate, we talk all about the knowledge contained in silly little beverages, Frank going through entirely silent character arcs along with really obvious gender dysphoria, probably the least interesting god encounter yet, Li-Jien, the three most doomed kids in the world, and why this book may be shaping up to be the Throne of Fire of Heroes of Olympuses.
Come back...2022-09-0953 minUnwise Girls73: Antebellum AgonyThe Lost Hero, ch. 52 to 56
This week, on the long anticipated finale of The Lost Hero, Jane gets musical, Piper finally self-actualizes, the episodic nature of podcasting changes our reading experience, our grand quest for the series is outlined, Jason fully falls into his role as JRPG protagonist, Leo gets a tier of his own, and... oh, it.. okay. Fine. We might as well have to go through another round of "Rick writes a detail that makes us have to reconsider thousands of years of human history." Sure. Let's talk about every single civil war and revolution...2022-07-231h 05Unwise Girls70: And Now, the WeatherThe Lost Hero, ch. 37 to 40
This week on Unwise Girls, Jacqueline and Jane have a pretty good time as Aeolus realizes the suffering is, in fact, never ending, the final puzzle piece is finally put into place, Jason somehow turns into a good, rounded character just through us talking about him enough, the Rick Riordan and John Green crossover grows ever closer, Aphrodite breaks down both prophecies and body image issues, the ethics of revealing yourself as a god are questioned, and something happens in the ocean that... well, we dare not say.
Come back...2022-07-021h 02Unwise Girls67: Simping at Macy'sThe Lost Hero, ch. 25 to 28
This week the Unwise Girls talk about a nicely done do-over, the logistics of vegan tacos, how scary it is to be seen, Jane's gender, Jason's greatest mortal enemy, Jupiter's bad dadditude, probably other things that start with J, anti-union action, bodega etymologies, and Rick Riordan bravely averting doing feminist reanalysis of classical literature.
Come back next week for The Lost Hero, ch. 29 to 32!
Check out our Patreon! (https://www.patreon.com/unwisegirls)
Follow the show (https://twitter.com/unwisegirls)
Hosted by Jacqueline (https...2022-06-1143 minUnwise Girls64: Big Puppy GrindsetEpisode Notes
The Lost Hero, ch. 13 to 16
This week the newly networked Unwise Girls suffer from the Curse of Hypnos as we - a Jacqueline fresh off a week of sleep deprivation and nonstop driving and a Jane in the midst of a 2AM fugue state - try the best we damn well can to speak coherently on some pretty good chapters of The Lost Hero. We talk about Rome lore, the settler-colonial mindset and how it produces a liberal idealist imaginary, sexy posters, Drew's bigotries and Aphrodite's proclivities. Yayyy!
Come back next...2022-05-2151 minUnwise Girls63: Based and GaiapilledThe Lost Hero, ch. 9 to 12
On this week's episode of Unwise Girls, we start off by discussing the racist backlash to Leah Jeffries being cast as Annabeth and Rick Riordan's responses. Afterwards, we talk about the world's most intriguing dad, everything fake about Piper McLean, predictable satyr bits, the world's most evil aunts, Camp Half-Blood's relationship to war, and a spicy Kane Chronicles callback. Jane also gets owned multiple times, but by the end, will she truly be the one to fall?
Come back next week for The Lost Hero, ch. 13 to 16!
Check out our...2022-05-141h 02
Unwise Girls63: Based and GaiapilledThe Lost Hero, ch. 9 to 12On this week's episode of Unwise Girls, we start off by discussing the racist backlash to Leah Jeffries being cast as Annabeth and Rick Riordan's responses. Afterwards, we talk about the world's most intriguing dad, everything fake about Piper McLean, predictable satyr bits, the world's most evil aunts, Camp Half-Blood's relationship to war, and a spicy Kane Chronicles callback. Jane also gets owned multiple times, but by the end, will she truly be the one to fall?Come back next week for The Lost Hero, ch. 13 to 16!2022-05-131h 02
Unwise Girls62: SleebygenderThe Lost Hero, ch. 5 to 8This week, the Unwise Girls round out the main cast of The Lost Hero by finally reading some chapters from Leo's perspective. We talk about his character's relatively unimpressive showing compared to how great everything else at Hephaestus cabin is, historical disasters Rick might be saving for later, Percy's infidelity, Chiron's trick, Jason's secret origin, and genetic ASMR.Come back next week for The Lost Hero, ch. 9 to 12!Check out our Patreon! (https://www.patreon.com/unwisegirls)Follow the show...2022-05-0750 min
Unwise Girls61: First Piper ShooterThe Lost Hero, ch. 1 to 4Huh? The Camp Half-Blood Chronicles? Sorry, I don't remember it... But I guess if you say I do a podcast about it, I should at least give these notes a read. Okay, so apparently, the Unwise Girls this week finally start on the Heroes of Olympus - and it rocks!! We get into how this book uses multi-character perspective versus how it was done in the Kane Chronicles, mean girls, the world's coolest penny, Jason's thousand-yard stare, Leo homophobic moments, a slightly off return to the prophecy prediction corner...2022-04-3051 min
Unwise Girls60: Dear Percy JacksonThe Lightning Thief musical
After an unfortunate week off due to horrible computer breakage, the glitz and glamor of the stage come to bear on Unwise Girls! Before we dive into the depths of Heroes of Olympus, we take a refresher on where we came from and talk all about the magic of stagecraft, the portrayal of our most favoritest alcoholic, Percy's toilet paper telekinesis, some simple but effective changes done to the story's structure and twists, the power of sappy animatics, and the good and bad of multi-casting.
Come back next...2022-04-2353 min
Unwise Girls59: The Pain ChroniclesThe Kane Chronicles retrospectiveHey everyone, editor and host Jacqueline here for a little bit of realtalk. Do you know what happens to you when you die? Well, I guess it's a bit of a complicated topic, but this week, we're the arbiters of life and death as we judge the souls of The Red Pyramid, The Throne of Fire, and The Serpent's Shadow ... after a bit of discussion about some PJO TV show news! We discuss why the Kane Chronicles ultimately paled in comparison to what came before, what we might have prefered...2022-04-091h 14
Unwise Girls58: Happy Grover WeekThe Serpent's Shadow, ch. 20 to 22
It's #GroverWeek, so let's celebrate our favorite satyr boy by talking about our favorite #AuthenticGroverMoments! Remember when Grover defeated Apophis, then did a bunch of kissing after abdicating the power of Pharaoh to his uncle? Sure you do! This week, we talk about the last chapters of The Serpent's Shadow and discuss forgotten ice gods, the strange alternate history of in-universe Rick Riordan, hanging out at Wal-Mart, callbacks to things that didn't happen, the four primary food groups, our hopes for future crossovers, zoology embarrassments, and why someone might...2022-04-0153 min
Unwise Girls57: They Punch for a Bit(cw: discussion of lynching imagery from 37:00 to 37:50)The Serpent's Shadow, ch. 16 to 19This week, there were no mishaps before recording that made us have to improvise. It's all scripted. Don't worry! Believe me. Anyway, on this episode of Unwise Girls, Carter has a sexuality crisis, Sadie doesn't know which pronouns to use for her boyfriends, Zia gets jacked, Apophis gets revolutionary, and Jane and Jacqueline get tired of all the fighting. Can't we all just get along?Come back next week for The Serpent's Shadow, ch. 20 to 22!2022-03-2543 min
Unwise Girls56: Boyfriend Fusion DanceThe Serpent's Shadow, ch. 12 to 15
It's a brand new episode of Unwise Girls, and this time we're - well, actually, we still like it. Hooray! Join us this week as we talk about the meanest possible prank to pull on a thirteen year old girl, Carter's cringefail life, swamp foot, our dreams for the Netflix adaptation, doomsday preppers, and some of the series' most harrowing action scenes.
Come back next week for The Serpent's Shadow, ch. 16 to 19!
Check out our Patreon! (https://www.patreon.com/unwisegirls)
2022-03-2052 min
Unwise Girls55: He's Still Got ItThe Serpent's Shadow, ch. 9 to 11Joy to the world! It's the one year anniversary episode(ish) of Unwise Girls! And hey, guess what, just as a treat to us and you? This is probably the best The Kane Chronicles have ever been!!! Join us in our bliss as we get into our new favorite slimebag, finally sympathize with elderly people, discover which wrestler won't be consigned to oblivion, praise the fact that the story's structure and pace is actually getting mixed up a bit, lament the fates of Julius and Amos Kane, and wonder...2022-03-1154 min
Unwise Girls54: Leave Room for ShuThe Serpent's Shadow, ch. 5 to 8As women of a diminished wisdom, we often find ourselves engaging in conversations airy and nonsensical. This week, though, we get a little more reflective on our attitudes toward this book, and decide to maybe adopt a new approach... but only after meeting a couple of auspicious campers, comparing Sadie's upward climb on our character rankings to Carter's rapid descent, Jacqueline giving her final word (8 chapters in for some reason?) on the antagonists, using both The Wizard Series and The Space Wizard Series as reference points, officially declaring Walt...2022-03-0549 min
Unwise Girls53: Double Exile Any% SpeedrunThe Serpent's Shadow, ch. 1 to 4
We start off positive this week with a quick review of the new Percy Jackson & the Olympians cover illustrations before our smiles are turned right upside down by the beginning of the final book in The Kane Chronicles. Listen carefully and you can hear Jacqueline's opinion on these chapters change in real time! We talk about the secret identities of local mob bosses, a number of weird continuity errors, whether or not cults need permission slips, Carter becoming a pigeon hater, Sadie having officially given up on having British...2022-02-2653 min
Unwise Girls52: Zebras and Weasels and Snakes, Oh My!The Throne of Fire, ch. 21 to 24The Throne of Fire is over! What did we think of it? Well, this week on Unwise Girls, we answer that question and more as we determine whether or not books have to have endings, what the best thing for a delirious old man to call a teenager is, how many souls are acceptable to sacrifice to change the fundamental laws of reality, whether Percy Jackson really had it so bad, the most epic French guy maneuvers, and if it's okay to have a shitty antagonist in exchange...2022-02-2057 min
Unwise Girls51: Tawaret Titty TranceThe Throne of Fire, ch. 17 to 20What kind of hat's on your head? This week on Unwise Girls, we get into the worst things to wear to the supermarket, friendzoned hippos, Rick listening to too much Radio Free Asia, old people making young people sad, Carter's fashion faux pas, whether or not it's okay to say "shaft" in a kids book, our most anticipated Steal Your Girl scenes, and Jane's family history with a famous supplier of Roman farming equipment.Come back next week for The Throne of Fire, ch. 21 to 24!2022-02-1253 min
Unwise Girls50: The Ptah in Our StarsThe Throne of Fire, ch. 13 to 16Hey! It's a podcast! This week the Unwise Girls take you through the libidinous benefits of genetic diseases, the most greasy chariot salesman, our first peek into the land of Roman gods, some busted myths about how to save a life, that feel when there's water up your nose, the distinctiveness of Carter and Sadie's voices, and the funniest tragedies to name a camel after.Come back next week for The Throne of Fire, ch. 17 to 20!Check out our Patreon! (https...2022-02-0559 min
Unwise Girls49: Why I Oughta... OOF!The Throne of Fire, ch. 9 to 12Hey, remember how the last four chapters were pretty great? They're not as great anymore, but, like, whatever, we'll deal! It's still fun! The Unwise Girls are back at it once more, and today we talk all about the weird disconnect with Bes's caricaturized portrayal, the cartoony ascent of Set in our character rankings, redundant flashback information, uninspiring snakes, all the ways you can take someone's name from them, and the art of boy mysteries.Come back next week for The Throne of Fire, ch. 13 to 16!2022-01-2950 min
Unwise Girls48: The World's Greatest AllyThe Throne of Fire, ch. 5 to 8The Unwise Girls return with the best Kane Chronicles chapters yet! Hell yeah! But also there's a pretty big problem in it! Oh no! Sit down and listen as we talk about The Tyson Problem, one mysterious trick to writing teenage girls as human beings, a long-awaited compelling antagonistic force, shonen-style training montages, the color of trauma, British pig varieties, the dadification of Carter Kane, and how to actually do urban fantasy.Come back next week for The Throne of Fire, ch. 9 to 12!2022-01-2255 min
Unwise Girls47: BrooklynhausThe Throne of Fire, ch. 1 to 4Patterns emerge as the Unwise Girls decide once more to read... a book in The Kane Chronicles by Rick Riordan? I dunno, seems a bit repetitive to me, should really change up the formula. Anyway, today's discussion is on the limits of time limits, Adele's influence on British teens, Amos's quirky architecture posts, the ethics of putting penguins in a fireplace, soft relationship resets, fight scenes that just sort of happen, Russian chaos agents, and plot points that come in threes.Come back next week for...2022-01-1558 min
Unwise Girls46: I Slowly Shrink and Transform Into a Fruit BatThe Red Pyramid, ch. 38 to 41Hey, The Red Pyramid is over, Unwise Girls enthusiasts! You know what that means... it's time to talk about messy but largely adequate coming-of-age stories, dismembered dad members, strong blood, Carter's dress-up hour, French boxer shorts, Set's last minute turn to our absolute favorite, the rising threat of Apophis, and yet another refusal to engage with the idea that some power structures may need to be completely overturned - but hey, it's a Riordan book, what else is new!Come back next week for The Throne of...2022-01-0852 min
Unwise Girls45: Meat StalactiteThe Red Pyramid, ch. 33 to 37
Happy New Year, Riordanheads! This week, the Unwise Girls are talking about ultraviolence inflicted upon dough, Set firmly distinguishing himself as a villain, Rick somehow perfectly predicting Among Us, catgirl abundance, the problems of you and all your siblings being born in the same week, and the confusing lines between what magic is and is not divine.
Come back next week for the end of The Red Pyramid, ch. 38 to 41!
Check out our Patreon! (https://www.patreon.com/unwisegirls)
Follow...2022-01-0154 min
Unwise Girls44: Bye Bye BastieThe Red Pyramid, ch. 29 to 32
In a bright and cheery Unwise Girls, we talk about how Amos suspicios, The Kane Chronicles being in conversation with Beastly, Sadie's huge talk with Geb, the possibility that Rick Riordan actually did some reading before writing this book, recycled encounters, Percy Jackson's 600 weeks on the New York Times children's bestsellers list, and the lush greens of jolly old England. That's basically all th- wait, sorry, I'm hearing word that someone also died? Huh? Who?
Come back next week for The Red Pyramid, ch. 33 to 35!
2021-12-1852 min
Unwise Girls43: God Save the Pharaoh(cw: discussion of gun violence. also sorry the audio is kinda subpar in this one!! i'll try to have that fixed by next recording)
The Red Pyramid, ch. 25 to 28
This week on Unwise Girls, we come in hot with an exciting announcement about someone else's podcast before getting into big brother boat privilege, the deep history of the Bass Pro Pyramid (we don't ever indulge in the horrible podcast crime of "reading wikipedia" so please allow us this one), how emo is something anyone can be eternally, anti-monarchist Carter, Sadie's complicated dadfeels...2021-12-1053 min
Unwise Girls42: Come On, Rick!The Red Pyramid, ch. 21 to 24
It's a real yikes one this week as the Unwise Girls talk about the famed magician and king of rock and roll Elvis Prestidigitationley, the problems with sketching out real-life locations by using stereotype and/or cultural landmarks, real gritty basketball strats, hardcore uncle possession theorycrafting, lore (real life), the Greekification of the Egyptian gods, and also whatever the fuck it is British people do with coke.
Come back next week for The Red Pyramid, ch. 25 to 28!
Check out our Patreon! (https...2021-12-0456 min
Unwise Girls41: We Fail No Nut NovemberThe Red Pyramid, ch. 17 to 20
It's a lean, mean episode of Unwise Girls as we cover The Red Pyramid's first truly consistently good chapters! We talk all about funny Bast (try to) eat a bird, pyramid power, globetrotting adventures, the importance of English class curtain symbolism, Dude Bro and Hella Jeff, the gentrified House of Life, and the framing device we've loved to complain about finally paying off.
Come back next week for The Red Pyramid, ch. 21 to 24!
Check out our Patreon! (https://www.patreon.com/unwisegirls)2021-11-2751 min
Unwise Girls40: Gamer Girl Thoth WaterThe Red Pyramid, ch. 13 to 16
Be welcomed, thots, to a brand new episode! This week, after a brief consideration for Jane's mental health, the Unwise Girls talk about the conceits of children's urban fantasy fiction, the secret origins of The Sorcerer's Apprentice, Disney's Horuscules, potential future romance arcs based on like two sentences of character interaction, and the best movies to watch in Spanish II when your teacher is too tired to get into conjugation.
Come back next week for The Red Pyramid, ch. 17 to 20!
Check out...2021-11-201h 11
Unwise Girls39: It's a Serqet to EveryoneThe Red Pyramid, ch. 9 to 12
It's just under the wire this week as the Unwise Girls talk about the insecure writing and growing pains of The Red Pyramid, the shonen anime-style battle system setup, coffin dance, Gaia Online roleplaying, what happens when you're tired of being nice and just want to go magic apeshit, order vs. chaos, reverse-JKR style accidental lesbianism, and a very familiar doujin genre.
Come back next week for The Red Pyramid, ch. 13 to 16!
Check out our Patreon! (https://www.patreon.com/unwisegirls)
2021-11-1359 min
Unwise Girls38: Amos Needos DrinkosThe Red Pyramid, ch. 5 to 8
Between J*lius, his dead crocodile, the godly neighbors from hell, and generally having to deliver pages upon pages of exposition to these fucking kids, this has been a cromulent fuckcrustable of a day for Amos Kane. This week, the Unwise Girls once more have to circle back around to Rick Riordan's semi-nationalistic fascination with the idea of "Western Civilization" (hint: it includes egypt now i guess?), the villain just kind of being the same as the last big villain, cool libraries we would love to read books in...2021-11-051h 01
Unwise Girls37: The CGI Dog-Man ComethThe Red Pyramid, ch. 1 to 4
Summer camp? Greek gods? Fashy pisshorses? Shut up about all that nonsense and get on the boat, loser - it's time for our river tour of The Kane Chronicles to begin! This week, the Unwise Girls start on a whole new series, covering Rick Riordan's first Egyptian myth-based book: The Red Pyramid. We get into the struggles of having to introduce a whole new world to readers, British people being racist, exactly one Ankha meme joke before Jacqueline bans Jane from them forever, how Napoleon's epic fail impacts the...2021-10-301h 08Unwise Girls36: We Finally Get Our Camp BeadsPercy Jackson & the Olympians retrospective
The end of the year at Camp Half-Blood rolls around once more, and we're here to guide you through it every step of the way. In this episode of Unwise Girls, we give out superlatives - make sure to check your yearbook for who got the best ship, which fight ended up being declared the worst, and who ended up being nominated for Camper of the Year! Plus, get a sneak preview of a book we might not even cover when we call back to our very first episode...2021-10-221h 26Unwise Girls35: The CW's 'Demigods'Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters (2013)
Hell is real and we're come back to it on today's episode of Unwise Girls. Join Jane, Jacqueline, and special guest Chiara as we drown in the wake of the Sea of Monsters movie; still, we manage to cover some actual thoughts on the movie before we're pulled down to the briny depths! How the fuck do you actually pronounce Greek-inspired things? Why are Confederate soldiers so quirky? Who had the inspired choice to cast Nathan Fillion here? Where did they find the gall to even make this in...2021-10-161h 20Unwise Girls34: Dads Getting OffThe Last Olympian, ch. 21 to 23
Hey, calm down, kid! Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened, y'know? Just because this is the last book in the Percy Jackson & the Olympians series doesn't mean there won't be more Unwise Girls next week... and for now, you can still enjoy us talking about dads who get off easy, the sweet vibes at the end of summer camp, some American historical lessons, a brand new prophecy to predict on, how bad Neil Gaiman sucks, and more.
Come back next week for 2013's Percy J...2021-10-0951 minUnwise Girls33: More Inclusive Child Soldier Camps(cw: discussion of fictional suicide and abusive father-daughter relationships throughout)
The Last Olympian, ch. 18 to 20
The Unwise Girls go head to head in the most conflict-driven episode yet, and it's not just Percy and Kronos squaring off - Jacqueline and Jane are practically at each other's throats with how much they disagree about these chapters! We argue about whether or not Luke's story resolved satisfyingly (and what that even means in relation to the idea of 'redemption'), tear into what Rick Riordan is ultimately saying with this whole series' thesis (and if...2021-10-0158 minUnwise Girls32: A Tragic And Moving Death (Also Silena Bites It)The Last Olympian, ch. 15 to 17
On this episode of Unwise Girls, we both kind of just need a hug and some hot chocolate as we hurtle towards the end of this book. On one hand, yeah, we get one of this series' most effective pieces of storytelling so far, a course in exactly how to write a story that compels you right off an emotional cliff that also doubles as a pretty darn good bit of homoerotic tragedy; on the other hand, we have to deal with the Party Ponies again. So like, we're...2021-09-2551 minUnwise Girls31: #HermesIsOverPartyThe Last Olympian, ch. 12 to 14
Sit across from me, little Unwiseling, and hear of our tale! Today, we shall travel from the lands of the past to see just where our favorite angry softboy Luke got his start, to the lands of the present where a grand negotiation is held between our war-torn tweens and the ancient Titan known as Prometheus, and all the way across to the future... of Epic Anime Battle Percy vs Hyperion HD (360p)
Come back next week for The Last Olympian, ch. 15 to 17!
2021-09-1852 minUnwise Girls30: Percy Gets Big-HeadedThe Last Olympian, ch. 9 to 11
The Battle of Manhattan begins, and the Unwise Girls are here to give you a play by play! If you're concerned about how Percy is doing in a leadership position, who has and has not actually died so far, what it means when mailmen get pissed off, the big way Poseidon's gift from last book comes back into play, and just what effects plopping yourself in a fucked up river REALLY has, you're in the right place. But don't forget the most important question of all, demigods: what's Ethan...2021-09-1151 minUnwise Girls29: PerCo's Bizarre AdventureThe Last Olympian, ch. 6 to 8
Jacqueline is back after moving cross-country (with Jane kept in her pocket) to bring an even dose of unwise to your life! This week we discuss various taxonomical forms of the fucked up old lady, a delightfully comedic twist on the classic Percy Jackson Underworld Scene, one of the clunkiest mythological cameos in the series to date, and Percy finally shifting into Kratos Mode. Thanks for sticking with us!
Come back next week for The Last Olympian, ch. 9 to 11!
Check out our...2021-09-041h 01
Unwise Girls27: The First Last OnePercy Jackson and the Last Olympian: Chapters 1-2
This is war! To the soldier, the civilian, the... the pisshorse, I guess. It's war time! Join us as we're plunged headfirst into this terrible conflict, which takes us from a greatly improved love-triangle subplot, to a familiar demon party boat, and under the waves for an epic battle for Poseidon's kingdom! There will be anime crab deaths, there will be devastation as Jane knocks over her bookshelf, there will be Deep Children's Book Analysis, and, for a beloved side character... a final goodbye.
Sorry this episode i...2021-08-2354 minUnwise Girls26: The Amish GamerThe Demigod Files
This week, the Unwise Girls cover a special supplementary book set between The Battle of the Labyrinth and our next book, The Last Olympian! We meet Clarisse's twisted and effed up brothers, consider how some big ants compare to some different big ants, and then travel through Hades in one of the most fun self-contained stories the series has to offer. We also cover some miscellany, including some fucked up portraits! It's great.
Come back next week for The Last Olympian, ch. 1 to 2!
Check o...2021-08-131h 13Unwise Girls25: Deadbeat Dad Tactics AdvanceThe Battle of the Labyrinth, ch. 18 to 20
The Battle of the Labyrinth comes to a close with one of the most climactic action scenes yet! Imagine: what if a young adult fantasy novel could make a huge fight to defend the main characters' home fort good? What if moms were evil? What if dads who were bad were also really cool and charming? What would happen if there was a fucked up guy and his soul was tied forever to a hellish ever-expanding labyrinth? What if Annabeth had a character arc we understood? What i...2021-08-071h 08Unwise Girls24: This One's About Aphrodite's FeetThe Battle of the Labyrinth, ch. 14 to 17
In today's episode of Unwise Girls, we're a little bit out of it, but don't worry! We still manage to talk about how far edgy teens will go to make a fashion statement, send out an open call for our listeners to DM us, praise some truly great twist executions and how Rick created a functional character arc entirely through dream sequences and one cool parry, debate the real message behind Pan's final words, mourn the loss of a cool sword, and also just have an interesting id...2021-07-3156 minUnwise Girls23: The Fridging of Percy JacksonThe Battle of the Labyrinth, ch. 11 to 13
Today, the Unwise Girls talk about the best chapter of Percy Jackson.
...Huh? I have to write more or Jane will force me to work the mines? Okay, fine, fine! Today we talk about the coolest thing you can do at a funeral, some exciting(?) news about who's who in the Percy Jackson TV show writers room, laugh as Jane is wrong about basic volcano and Daedalus facts, groan as Jacqueline continues to try and pretend that the romantic jealousy stuff in this book doesn't...2021-07-241h 03Unwise Girls22: Lesbians Guns Beers TrucksThe Battle of the Labyrinth, ch. 8 to 10
Yeeeehaw, ride those cowboys! Welcome back to the most rootin' tootin' podcast in the west, cowpokes, hosted by the gracious Demon Dude Ranch! Y'all wanna know what we talked about in this here episode? Well, it ain't much to tell, but today we get into Daedalus's dirtiest deed ever done, scary horsies, evil and fucked up rancher types, visual metaphors (in writing form), our final decision on what Rick Riordan thinks of schools, some disparaging remarks about Disney's Loki (not in Minecraft), and also Jacqueline talks about...2021-07-1649 minUnwise Girls21: Percy Jackson and the Chronic NarcolepsyThe Battle of the Labyrinth, ch. 4 to 7
Make your choice, demigods! We're officially deep in the labyrinth, and to keep it together we've put together an episode chock full of guesses on where the heck we're even going. We return to the prophecy prediction corner (with a twist!), debate whether Athena fucks and who exactly has come out of that hypothetical fucking, try to figure out who is sending Percy all these Iris messages and why Rick is sending him even more dream messages, and make a bold and terrifying prediction about a major...2021-07-1055 minUnwise Girls20: Perfectly ServiceableThe Battle of the Labyrinth, ch. 1 to 3
Legends tell of a set of introductory chapters so normal, so bogstandard, so boringly unremarkable that all the lesbian hosts of a 2021 Rick Riordan book podcast will be able to say in response to it is: "Yeah, I mean, it's fine? Pretty good." Today, that oddly specific legend has been fulfilled, and the Unwise Girls struggle to keep their heads on straight in the land of perfunctory decentness. On the surface, this may seem like a regular episode of the show, with minor criticism of the ways...2021-07-0348 minUnwise Girls19: A New Weight to ShoulderThe Titan's Curse, ch. 18 to 20
We did it, friends. We've gone all the way up the mountain of The Titan's Curse and back down again. Along the way, we learned a lot: how devastating it can be when a little kid's little gay crush turns into unbridled animosity, the ways that PJO could easily swing its way into becoming the Doctor Who of kid lit, when and when not to cut a character down in their prime, the most effective methods of indoctrinating someone into your lesbian goddess cult, and just how many different w...2021-06-2650 minUnwise Girls18: We Visit Jane's Dweeb-Ass DadThe Titan's Curse, ch. 15 to 17
As The Titan's Curse climaxes, we celebrate being firmly back in the era of Good Shit. We discuss the potential paths for Luke's character arc, one of the best action setpieces in the story so far, two family beats with vastly different impacts, Elon Musk, whether or not the innocent-seeming Chase family home hides a dark secret, the varying portrayals of difficult family relationships in Percy Jackson, and a triumphant return to Jane's Physics Corner when we get deep in the weeds on Chicken Little's greatest fear.
2021-06-1949 minUnwise Girls(BONUS: Nectar of the Pods) 12 Year Old Jane Gangnam Style Cringe(hey folks! we're taking a week off to try and build up a good backlog of main episodes, so enjoy this taste of one of our bonus episodes! if you like what you hear, you can get more by going to https://www.patreon.com/unwisegirls and subscribing to our $3 or $5 tiers!)
this week, we talk about the various forms our favourite DC heroes have taken over the years, becoming a social pariah by not understanding the context of memes, the end of Homestuck Act 2, and finally, Jane engages Jacqueline in an epic battle...2021-06-1249 minUnwise Girls17: A Dam Fine EpisodeThe Titan's Curse, ch. 12 to 14
Our second annual sightseeing tour of the United States of AmeriUGH (am i right, folks?) takes us to some real photogenic spots! A beautiful ski resort, the awe-inspiring Hoover Dam, and... just kind of a city full of trash I guess. While snapping pics, we gab about just how direct a rip of the labours of Heracles this book is, a mysterious but compelling new character, a good character gone too soon (and another character finally made good), confusing Batman comparisons, and finally take a firm stance on our...2021-06-0549 minUnwise Girls16: We Judge a Book by Its CoversThe Titan's Curse, ch. 9 to 11
Our trek to San Francisco finally hit its stride, and it's all well-walked trails from here on! Have a chat with us on the road as we talk Mr. D's Big Moment, our continued speculation on who Zoe's parents are, the not-quite 1:1 nature of PJO and She-Ra villains, Ayn Rand's funny scribblies, Jane's liberal turn, which podcasts Apollo vibes to, and also... book covers. We talk about book covers for a long time. You might want to search up some book covers and study in preparation. There will be a te...2021-05-2852 minUnwise Girls15: Give Blood, Save a PisshorseThe Titan's Curse, ch. 5 to 8
We didn't think it would happen, y'all, but - we both are super enjoying the book we're reading again! At the same time! This week, we celebrate by talking about Percy's great developments as a character, horrific pranks played by devilspawn children, just where in the heck Clarisse might have gone, one of the best scenes in the book so far and what it means for the characters involved, and dive into a brand new #ProphecyPredictions.
Check out our Patreon (https://www.patreon.com/u...2021-05-2253 minUnwise Girls14: A Titanic DebateThe Titan's Curse, ch. 1 to 4
A new book begins! This week, we break free of the bonds of our previous episode naming structure to make it clear that the Unwise Girls are not playing around with each other anymore. It's a heated battle of wits! In the red corner, Jacqueline, representing the side of "book good so far"! In the blue corner, Jane, representing the side of "still sucks actually"! Will one of our fair ladies come out the winner when we discuss in-universe TCG meta, some funky lesbians that live in the woods...2021-05-1548 minUnwise Girls13: We Face a Sputtering ClimaxThe Sea of Monsters, ch. 18 to 20
The Unwise Girls sadly sigh as they stare at the seldom stirring Sea of Monsters finale. It wasn't great, folks! I mean, some of it was real good. We talk about the duality of twists (apparently if there's a really good one there has to be a really disappointing one too), finally go into full rewrite mode, build up tepid hopes for the future, send off a character who's had it real rough this book, and then... the most explosive ending to any podcast ever. Ride on, party pon...2021-05-0853 minUnwise Girls12: We Do Honest JournalismThe Sea of Monsters, ch. 15 to 17
(cw: discussion of animal mutilation from 9:52 to 10:10)
This week, the Unwise Girls talk the latest in Percy Jackson movie news, deliberately spread misinformation, grouse about the retread-heavy story and how disappointing Polyphemus is as an antagonist, wish for more for Grover than being a damsel-in-distress goatboy-in-a-dress, and do our own retreads as we get sucked back into an old whirlpool argument.
Check out our Patreon (https://www.patreon.com/unwisegirls)!
Follow the show (https://twitter.com/unwisegirls). Hosted by Jacque...2021-04-3049 minUnwise Girls11: Jacqueline Becomes a Tender DudebroThe Sea of Monsters, ch. 12 to 14
Welcome to debate club, everyone. Today, you'll be viewing a demonstration of "Percy Jackson Discourse" as we figure out how certain types of coding relate to Cyclopes in the series, map out future Percy Jackson trans fanfiction trends based on data from the forbidden wizard books, attempt to uncover the truth behind Blackbeard's death, ascertain what qualities make for a good demigod therapist, and pet a fwuffy sheep. (:
Check out our Patreon (https://www.patreon.com/unwisegirls)!
Follow the show (https://twitter.com/un...2021-04-2345 minUnwise Girls10: We Become Monster Donut KidsThe Sea of Monsters, ch. 9 to 11
Sorry for the audio troubles this week, folks! We've discovered the culprit, so count on us sounding better from now on! For now though, the Unwise Girls go from one boat to another as they talk shop on Warship Realities, mishandle the basic rules of physics and podcasting, ponder the metaphor of grief, and go down mythological rabbit holes. Sponsored by Monster Donut!
Check out our Patreon (https://www.patreon.com/unwisegirls)!
Follow the show (https://twitter.com/unwisegirls). Hosted by Jacquel...2021-04-1650 minUnwise Girls9: We Forget Boats ExistThe Sea of Monsters, ch. 5 to 8All aboard! Today, us flighty broads yap about the sad exit of a pisshorse legend, shrug our shoulders at Tyson-related developments, discover an entire chapter that just sort of exited our minds, go off on tangents about Skype RP, become Hermes stans, and have a few light disagreements. Try to hold in your excitement!Follow the show (https://twitter.com/unwisegirls).Hosted by Jacqueline (https://twitter.com/swampduchess) and Jane (https://twitter.com/janeyshivers). Edited by Jacqueline.Cover art...2021-04-0951 minUnwise Girls8: We Grapple with a CyclopsThe Sea of Monsters, ch. 1 to 4The Unwise Girls' journey through Hades continues as we move from the Fields of Moviehell straight into Tartarus. This is a metaphor for the pit we fall into because of these first four chapters! We discuss the character of Tyson and the problem of ableist character writing, do battle with the city-county library system, give Rick his due when he deserves it, and briefly eat our words.Follow the show (https://twitter.com/unwisegirls).Hosted by Jacqueline (https://twitter.com/swampduchess...2021-04-0251 minUnwise Girls7: We 3v1 Chris ColumbusPercy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief (2010)
(Note: There are some audio issues in the latter half of this episode! Sorry about that, y'all!)
Well, folks, we made a mistake. Join the Unwise Girls and special guest Rabbits of Undead Rabbits as we take on the two hour nightmare known as Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief. We cover adaptation sickness, the decisions they made that made The Lightning Thief both a little less and a lot more racist, horse SFX, whether or not it's actually important for a story to have characters that...2021-03-2658 minUnwise Girls6: The Themes Surface, UnfortunatelyThe Lightning Thief, ch. 20 to 22.We did it! We finish The Lightning Thief! Don't worry, folks, because in this heavily-packed episode of Unwise Girls, we talk all about... Percy Jackson's relationship to 9/11? Yikes! We end up talking a lot about the book's nationalistic tendencies, but we also get to discuss a cool swordfight, Percy's character growth, Poseidon's weirdly realistic Bad Dad Behaviors, and the genuinely pretty good villain reveal. Listen 'til the end for our discovery of the world's weirdest Percy Jackson website, and our return to the questions segment!Follow the show (https://twitter...2021-03-201h 23Unwise Girls5: We Create a Tumblr SexymanThe Lightning Thief, ch. 17 to 19.In a hellishly good episode of Unwise Girls, we rapidly flip our opinions on themes, pet big dogs, talk about the extremely unfortunate description of Hades (and the even more unfortunate implications they have), celebrate some great prose, consider what exactly the book is trying to say about the music industry, and ponder the existence and murderability of the Christian god in the Camp Half-Blood Chronicles universe.Follow the show (https://twitter.com/unwisegirls).Hosted by Jacqueline (https://twitter.com/swampduchess) and Jane (https://twitter.com/janeyshivers). Edited...2021-03-2052 minUnwise Girls4: We Stan Our New Patron Goddess(Episodes 3 and 4 released simultaneously)
The Lightning Thief, ch. 13 to 16.
It's amazing! We finally get to stop talking about the alt-right centaur community, and instead focus on what's important: friendship. We dig deep on the world's worst road trip, discuss Percy's parasocial relationship with his dad, theorize about the dark side of Annabeth and Grover, fangirl over how cool and definitely-not-a-villain Ares is, ponder why exactly the traitor isn't super obvious to everyone, discover the podcast's patron goddess, and maybe talk about Hephaestus's proclivities, for like, slightly more time than...2021-03-131h 15Unwise Girls3: We Meet the Virgin Bus Driver(Episodes 3 and 4 released simultaneously)
The Lightning Thief, ch. 9 to 12.
In a time-limited episode, the Unwise Girls cover weird and uncomfortable Medusa facts, probably hopefully accidentally please-don't-be-on-purpose far-right dogwhistles, unexpected sponsorship opportunities, Top 10 Funny Mist Moments (#4 will make you hurt your grandma), and MUCH MUCH MORE!! If you want to know how to speedrun a gorgon vaporizing, navigate incredibly basic technical problems, and how we rank the series' bus drivers so far, simply peer inside!
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Hosted by...2021-03-1242 minUnwise Girls2: We Fall Down the Chiron Pipeline(First two episodes are being released at the same time so we can get through our backlog, but we'll have a more normal schedule after catching up.)
The Unwise Girls cover The Lightning Thief (chapters 5 through 8). It'd be great if this was a normal episode, but instead we have to talk about fascism for a long time!! Come on, Rick! Plus, learn about horse anatomy! Contend with us once more talking about Harry Potter, unfortunately! Stay until the end for a special quiz!
Follow us here (https://twitter.com/unwisegirls). Hosted by Jacqueline (https://twitter.c...2021-03-051h 00
Unwise Girls1: We Read Rick's Star Wars Fanfic(First two episodes are being released at the same time so we can get through our backlog, but we'll have a more normal schedule after catching up.)The Unwise Girls cover The Lightning Thief (chapters 1 through 4). Welcome to our brand new podcast, where we cover all of Rick Riordan's kid book mythology series. Marvel at our expert analysis! Be amazed by our commentary on a children's book! Tremble in fear at the power of Percy Jackson Localization! Contemplate the power of a good action scene! Try to guess when certain anime came out! Breathe a sigh of...2021-03-0549 min