Shows
UnlearnedEp 72: Can People Pleasers Consent?We hear a lot about consent in a sexual context, but what about the other places it shows up? Jaime and CA explore the nuance of consent and what it means in regards to our relationships and how we show up for our partners, friends, and family.
Also - Come to our first ever in person retreat “The Spiritual Soma Release Retreat:” buy.stripe.com/14k5ldd0n1tQ51e6oF
Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club: https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
Order Jaime’s book “TOXIC RELATIONSHIP RECOVERY,” today! It is available in paperback, as an audiobook (read by Jaime, herself...2024-06-2446 minUnlearnedEp 71: I Didn't Have a ChildhoodSocial media is filled with nostalgia and it can be a lot of fun. But what happens when you look at the shared childhood experiences of others and think to yourself, “that wasn’t me?” Join CA and Jaime as they explore what life looks like for those of us who have had to, more or less, raise ourselves. Is being a latchkey kid something we need to heal from? Listen in and find out.
Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club: https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
Come to our first-ever in-person retreat: buy.stripe.com/14k5ldd0n1tQ51e...2024-06-0358 minUnlearnedEp 70: Anxious-Attachment (Part 2)Jaime and CA continue their series on insecure attachment styles with a discussion on the anxious-attachment style. This time, Jaime opens up about her experiences as someone who naturally falls under this category.
Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club: https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
Order Jaime’s book “TOXIC RELATIONSHIP RECOVERY,” today! It is available in paperback, as an audiobook (read by Jaime, herself), and as an e-book. https://bit.ly/43Ka8kE
Part 1
Ep. 39: The Justification Trap
Notes:
The most difficult part of attachment healing
Ho...2024-05-251h 03UnlearnedEp 69: Avoidant-Attachment (Part 1)We’re back!
CA and Jaime return from their hiatus with a series on insecure attachment styles. In this episode, they explore the Avoidant-Attachment style both from a clinical standpoint and from a personal standpoint via CA’s experiences.
Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club: https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
Order Jaime’s book “TOXIC RELATIONSHIP RECOVERY,” today! It is available in paperback, as an audiobook (read by Jaime, herself), and as an e-book. https://bit.ly/43Ka8kE
Notes:
Happy Anniversary! We’re back!
Please consider supporting the sho...2024-05-061h 08UnlearnedEp 68: Dissociation and DisengagementAre dissociation and disengagement the same thing? Is it ever healthier to more or less walk away to protect yourself? In this episode, CA and Jaime explore both dissociation and disengagement, using the analogy of a snowstorm. Join us to discover when we need to tough it out, put on a coat, or stay inside.
Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club: https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
Order Jaime’s book “TOXIC RELATIONSHIP RECOVERY,” today! It is available in paperback, as an audiobook (read by Jaime, herself), and as an e-book. https://bit.ly/43Ka8kE
Notes:
Emotional Support water bottles a...2023-12-2057 minUnlearnedEp 67: Recalibrating our ThresholdsWe all know that healing isn’t linear, but there does tend to be a moment when a corner is turned - where we begin to live our life again. What do we do then? Season 1 of the show focused on healing and trauma recovery. Join Jaime and CA as they introduce Season 2, which will focus on what happens after.
Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club: https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
Order Jaime’s book “TOXIC RELATIONSHIP RECOVERY,” today! It is available in paperback, as an audiobook (read by Jaime, herself), and as an e...2023-11-2749 minUnlearnedEp 66: Do they tolerate you?In this episode, CA and Jaime explore how relationships can serve as protective factors for trauma processing and healing. Especially relationships in which we are not merely tolerated, but rather accepted and, ideally, celebrated.
Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club: https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
Order Jaime’s book “TOXIC RELATIONSHIP RECOVERY,” today! It is available in paperback, as an audiobook (read by Jaime, herself), and as an e-book. https://bit.ly/43Ka8kE
Notes:
Sweater weather!
Changing energy and changing seasons
What are protective factors and how do...2023-11-1349 minUnlearnedEp 65: Angels and DemonsJoin Jaime and CA as they delve into the complexities of spirituality. They question whether religion has exclusive control over our spiritual experiences, provide a clear definition of spirituality, and dive into the topic of secular spirituality. Additionally, they explore the themes of self-righteousness, self-sovereignty, authority within the spiritual domain, and more.
Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club: https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
Order Jaime’s book “TOXIC RELATIONSHIP RECOVERY,” today! It is available in paperback, as an audiobook (read by Jaime, herself), and as an e-book. https://bit.ly/43Ka8kE
Notes:
Does rel...2023-11-0654 minUnlearnedEp 64: The Cringest Episode We've Ever DoneJoin CA and Jaime as they dive into the concept of "cringe." They'll dissect its nature, explore why it makes us squirm, and reveal how trauma recovery can shift our understanding. Get ready for an eye-opening discussion that will change the way you think about cringe.
Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club: https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
Order Jaime’s book “TOXIC RELATIONSHIP RECOVERY,” today! It is available in paperback, as an audiobook (read by Jaime, herself), and as an e-book. https://bit.ly/43Ka8kE
Notes:
Super cringy opening
March M...2023-10-161h 01UnlearnedEp 63: Exploring Personal Evolution with Audrey AssadJoin CA and Jaime as they explore personal evolution with the internationally recognized singer, Audrey Assad. Discover the transformative power of music, delve into profound discussions on faith, suffering, and self-acceptance, and gain valuable insights into the art of living in the moment. Audrey's wisdom and experiences make for a truly inspiring conversation you won't want to miss.
Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club: https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
Order Jaime’s book “TOXIC RELATIONSHIP RECOVERY,” today! It is available in paperback, as an audiobook (read by Jaime, herself), and as an e-book. https://bit.ly/43Ka8kE2023-10-041h 26UnlearnedEp 62: Bee Curious, with McKay OrtonJaime and CA welcome McKay Orton, a natural beekeeper who has repeatedly gone viral to discuss beekeeping, nature, animals, mental health, and how they intersect.
Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club: https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
Order Jaime’s upcoming book “TOXIC RELATIONSHIP RECOVERY,” today! It will come out on September 5th and is available in paperback, as an audiobook (read by Jaime, herself), and as an e-book. https://bit.ly/43Ka8kE
Notes:
Introducing McKay Orton
Bee’s and mental health
Nature, connection, and improving our wellbeing
...2023-09-201h 03UnlearnedEp 61: Toxic Relationship RecoveryCA puts Jaime in the hot seat to discuss Jaime's brand new book, "Toxic Relationship Recovery," which comes out tomorrow! Get a behind-the-scenes look at everything that went into writing (and recording) it before you pick it up yourself!
Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club: https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
Pre-order Jaime’s upcoming book “TOXIC RELATIONSHIP RECOVERY,” today! It will come out on September 5th and is available in paperback, as an audiobook (read by Jaime, herself), and as an e-book. https://bit.ly/43Ka8kE
Notes:
The story behind Jamie's book2023-09-0447 minUnlearnedEp 60: Why is Intimacy So Hard?Are intimacy and sex the same thing? Is skipping right into the “deeper conversations” a good way to create intimacy? How do we actually form intimate relationships with other people? Jaime and CA explore these questions and more as they take a deep dive into intimacy, what it is, how we build it, and why it’s so hard.
Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club: https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
Pre-order Jaime’s upcoming book “TOXIC RELATIONSHIP RECOVERY,” today! It will come out on September 5th and is available in paperback, as an audiobook (read by Jaime, herself...2023-08-211h 03UnlearnedEp 59: The Jonah Hill ApproachIn this special bonus episode, CA and Jaime take a deep dive into the Jonah Hill text message situation to explore the importance of standards and boundaries, how and when to have conversations about them, standards versus control, and more.
Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club: https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
Jonah Hill, Sarah Brady Text Messages—Full Transcript: https://www.newsweek.com/jonah-hill-sarah-brady-text-messages-full-transcript-1812193
Notes:
Background on the Jonah Hill texts
Why stating your boundaries and standards is actually a good thing
The differences between boundaries and stan...2023-07-261h 30UnlearnedEp. 58: Can Humor Help Us Heal?Can humor help us heal? Can a joke ever be “too dark?” Join Jaime and CA as they chat with comedian Myles Weber and explore the relationship between comedy and healing on this hilarious and insightful episode.
Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club: https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
Notes:
Jaime and CA learn how to banter
Always wear SPF
Introducing Myles Weber
Why Jaime is terrible at Dungeons and Dragons
Why seeking out balance while healing is so important
The importance of finding people who can be your “coping buddy”
How Myles learned how to “read the room”...2023-07-191h 02UnlearnedEp 57: You Don't Have To SufferSuffering has a role in life, but what happens if it takes center stage? CA and Jaime explore how we can break free from looking at our trauma as a main fixture of our identity and learn to let our suffering be a part of who we are and not all of who we are.
Notes:
The role of suffering in our lives
Suffering as “part of our lives” vs suffering as the goal
Is suffering a path to holiness?
Identifying ourselves with our baggage
Learning to let...2023-06-261h 00UnlearnedEp 56: A Voice In The DarknessSupport the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club: https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
In this incredibly personal and powerful episode, Jaime and CA explore the dark moments in our lives where it can seem impossible to see the light. They also discuss how to be there for someone in those moments, even when you are dealing with stuff yourself.
**This episode covers sensitive topics like depression and suicidality. So, please don’t listen if you are not in a safe headspace. See the notes for resources.
International Suicide Hotlines: https://blog.o...2023-06-191h 11UnlearnedEp 55: Let Me Know What I Can Do...Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club: https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
We often find ourselves offering help by way of the phrase, “let me know what I can do to help,” but have we ever stopped to think about how incredibly unhelpful that may be? Jaime and CA explore how to actually provide real support for people who are going through a tough time, for whatever reason, by not just making it easier on the person suffering, but by being proactive about it.
Notes:
Actually providing support vs providing intention to support
Why “Let...2023-06-0558 minUnlearnedEp 54: Neurodivergency and RelationshipsSupport the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club: https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
CA and Jaime continue their series on Neurodivergency by discussing how it impacts relationships, focusing on romantic partners. They discuss the importance of actually knowing yourself, how to properly communicate your needs, what acceptance looks like, and more in this dynamic discussion.
Part 1: https://open.spotify.com/episode/41rYpF6FnCouWR6NzYDFb1?si=3100d2970c3c4458
Notes:
The importance of knowing yourself
What overstimulation looks like
How to describe overstimulation with analogies
How to communicate your...2023-05-221h 03UnlearnedEp 53: Neurodivergency and the Self (Part 1)Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club: https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
Jaime and CA begin a series on Neurodivergency by exploring through their own experiences what it is, comorbidities and how they can affect diagnosis, how neurodivergent brains and neurotypical brains think differently, and more.
Notes:
Just a reminder!
What is a neurodivergent brain?
Neurodivergence and comorbidities
Why the criteria for symptoms of neurodivergence needs to change
Examples of how comorbidities can affect a neurodivergent brain
How do late-diagnosed people even find...2023-05-0850 minUnlearnedEp 52: "Producer's Pick" - Date YourselfGo on social media and within two minutes you will come across dating advice. What if we took the best of that advice and directed it toward our relationship with ourselves? That sounds good on paper, but when it comes down to it, what does building a relationship with yourself look like? How do we do it? Jaime and CA are off this week, so our producer picked one of his favorite previous episodes of the show, “Date Yourself.” Enjoy!
Notes:
What does building a relationship with yourself look like?
What does it feel like when you engage in d...2023-05-0159 minUnlearnedEp 51 - When Your Parent is Your BullyAs children, our homes are supposed to be our safe haven; a place where we can get away from the things that make life tough, but what happens when it’s not? What happens when we are bullied at home, too? In this episode, CA and Jaime explore bullying by discussing where it comes from, how it is learned, and how we can fight against it, even when it happens in our own homes.
Notes:
Introducing our Over 50 Club!
What is bullying?
Where do bullies come from?
Which child wi...2023-04-241h 01UnlearnedEp 50 - Our One-Year Anniversary!Happy Anniversary! Jaime and CA celebrate the show’s one-year anniversary by looking back over their journey and then getting intimate by answering some questions from The Skin Deep’s, “{THE AND} Relationship Card Game.”
Notes:
Happy Anniversary!
Why we started the podcast
Our journey once we started
Our hosts get personal with a card game
Links:
Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club: https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
The Skin Deep’s Card Game: https://shop.theskindeep.com/pages/the-and-relationship-card-game
FREEBIE! Intention...2023-04-171h 09UnlearnedEp 49: When Joy Feels ScaryCan you experience joy after or even in the midst of trauma? CA and Jaime take a look at why embracing joy can be such a difficult barrier for us to move beyond when trauma is a part of our lives and then they explore what exactly we can do about it.
Notes:
Can you feel joy after experiencing trauma?
How joy can become a barrier
How to move beyond the fear of joy
Why acceptance of what makes us human is so important
The thing inside...2023-04-1059 minUnlearnedEp 48 - Sex and ConsentConsent is mandatory and well all know that, but it runs a lot deeper than just saying “yes” before the act. In a world filled with fluidity and kinks, navigating consent, especially with someone who has been traumatized can be incredibly tricky. Join Jaime and CA as they explore what consent means, what it looks like in practice, and how to have healthy conversations regarding it.
*WARNING: This episode contains discussions about sex and consent. If hearing about those topics may harm you, please feel free to skip it.
Notes:
Should kids be able to say no t...2023-04-031h 01UnlearnedEp. 47: Stop Triggering MeLearning our triggers is a huge part of the healing process, but knowing them and moving beyond them are two very different things. How do we break away from them? What do we do when we trigger someone else? How should they react? CA and Jaime take a deep-dive into these questions and more as they explore triggers, where they come from, and how to handle them.
*WARNING: The opening roleplay contains yelling, activation, and escalation. If you would like to skip it fast-forward about a minute.
Notes:
Becoming aware of your trauma...2023-03-271h 06UnlearnedEp. 46: Am I Too Needy?Have you ever been told that you are too needy? Are you? Maybe it’s not that simple. Jaime and CA explore what people really mean when they claim that we are too sensitive, where their response and our “neediness” comes from, and what we can do about it.
Notes:
A sensory experience
Am I too sensitive?
Debunking the concept of being “oversensitive”
How social and cultural factors normalize how we see others
Being called “too needy”
Looking at where your sense of “normal” comes from
Who...2023-03-2059 minUnlearnedEp. 45: Trauma SkillsWe know that we need to learn certain skills to move beyond our traumas to live more fully authentic lives, but we also know that we can’t call a timeout on our lives as we learn those skills. Join CA and Jaime as they explore how to learn those skills and adapt to ever-changing situations.
Notes:
A big announcement!
How to build and apply trauma skills while still living your life
Why waiting until we are totally ready may not be a great idea
Roadblocks we put in for ourselves
Being bad at a skill un...2023-03-1348 minUnlearnedEp. 44: Showing Up Fake to RelationshipsHave you ever felt like you got deep with someone who refused to match that depth and wondered if they could? In this episode, Jaime and CA explore the concept of showing up fake to our relationships by discussing why some people seem unwilling or maybe even unable to show their authentic selves and then, what we should do about it.
Notes:
What happens when we struggle to tap into depth within ourselves
Why some people are not equipped to go deeper
The shift from inability to unwillingness to go in-depth
Why someone could be unwilling...2023-03-0651 minUnlearnedEp. 43: Privacy or SecrecyWe have the right to a little bit of privacy in our relationships, but do we have the right to secrecy? What’s the difference? Join CA and Jaime as they explore how secrecy and privacy affect relationships through a thoughtful discussion full of various scenarios.
Notes:
Privacy or Secrecy - an example
Hallmarks of secrecy
What is secrecy?
How to have the conversation around privacy
When privacy turns into secrecy
Do you owe people an explanation?
Why do people need to have secrets?
Where consent comes into play
When privacy gets violated
Links:
FR...2023-02-271h 05UnlearnedEp. 42: Complex Trauma BasicsThere is a lot of discussion about trauma on social media nowadays, but what is it? Are there different kinds? Can one type of trauma hurt more than another? In this episode, Jaime and CA explore the different types of trauma, how to identify and recognize it, as well as how to process it.
Notes:
End Scene
Learning how to recognize and then name traumas
Why recognizing complex trauma is so difficult
The difference between big T trauma and little t trauma
Using the DRIP acronym to identify complex trauma
Defining incidental trauma
Defining PTSD
Processing...2023-02-201h 07UnlearnedEp. 41: Letting Go of Old StoriesOur trauma can create certain narratives in our brains. What happens when we encounter similar, but not identical situations in relationships that have nothing to do with that trauma? CA and Jaime explore why we need to create new narratives based on current events, not our past, and exactly how to do so.
Notes:
How the brain builds narratives
How the brain interferes with current or new relationships
Building the skills that allow me to write narratives in a new way
When we should and shouldn’t ignore the issue
How to practice processing tension
“Yeah, but...2023-02-1657 minUnlearnedEp. 40: Ultimatums & BoundariesWe hear a lot about boundaries, but what are they and how do we put them into practice? What happens when someone pushes them? Join Jaime and CA for an in-depth exploration of both ultimatums and boundaries by not only explaining, but with their signature style of roleplaying, as well.
Notes:
What are boundaries?
What are ultimatums?
How boundaries create safety
How to set boundaries while respecting other people’s boundaries
Boundaries versus politics
How to handle boundaries regarding personal beliefs
What happens when boundaries are weaponized?
Links:
FREEBIE! Intention Prompts: http://tinyurl.com/In...2023-02-0647 minUnlearnedEp. 39: The Justification TrapYou will make some changes during your healing journey. What happens when your loved ones question these changes? What if they don’t agree with them? CA and Jaime explore how to have these conversations without falling into the trap of justifying our healed selves with an in-depth exploration and a bit of roleplay.
Notes:
Justification versus clarification during dialogs about our recovery
Why conversations around recovery and healing tend to be cyclical
Navigating the traps
Why do we feel the need to justify our decisions?
Why justification tends not to work
Finding peace and accepting di...2023-01-301h 02UnlearnedEp. 38: Holding Yourself Hostage in Your Own RecoverySo you’re on your way to recovery. What about the people who only recognize the old you? What about those moments of panic where you feel yourself slipping back into the person you once were? Jaime and CA explore how we can hold ourselves hostage during the recovery process as well as how to negotiate our way out of the situation.
Notes:
Why looking back at who you used to be is so difficult
Why it’s important to hold yourself accountable
How do we learn to trust that the newer version of ourselves is the...2023-01-2352 minUnlearnedEp. 37: Intention vs. ImpactIf someone does something that hurts you but they didn't mean to hurt you are they at fault? What if they know those actions hurt you? What if they don't agree? CA and Jaime explore these questions and more as they discuss people's intentions vs the impact of their actions.
Notes:
An example of intention vs impact
The importance of communication about expectations
The difference between actual unintentional acts versus lies
How even simple expectations can become imprisoning
How each party is responsible for the intentions and impacts in a relationship
Why do we not just...2023-01-1648 minUnlearnedEp. 36: Why You Hate Your ResolutionsOn the first episode of 2023 CA and Jaime start 2023 with an in-depth exploration of why New Year’s Resolutions hardly ever seem to work out. They discuss the differences between internal and external resolutions, healthy and not-so-healthy ones, wantingness and willingness, burnout, and more.
Notes:
We’re back!
Sharing this year’s vision for the podcast
New Year - New Resolutions
Where do New Year’s resolutions come from?
The difference between healthy and nonhealthy resolutions
Internal versus external resolutions
Wantingness versus willingness
Where does burnout come from?
How to choose the right New Year’s resolution...2023-01-0956 minUnlearnedEp. 35: 2022 WrappedWe did it! Jaime and CA jump on the mic for one final episode of the podcast for 2022. Join them as they take a look back at their first year of podcasting, explore some of the themes of the previous episodes, and look forward to 2023 and beyond.
Notes:
We did it!
2022 Spotify Wrapped
Favorite Episodes
Jaime and CA’s Favorite Clips
Links:
Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/
Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/
Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself
CA’s Instagram: https://www.secure.instagra...2022-12-291h 10UnlearnedEp. 34: Failed Classes And Lessons LearnedIn this freewheeling, personal, and at times hilarious episode, Jaime and CA sit down for a game of “We're Not Really Strangers” a purpose driven card game and movement all about empowering meaningful connections during their last official podcast of 2022.
Notes:
What fast food restaurant do you think I'm most likely to drive through and what's my order?
What subject do you think I thrived on in school? Did I fail any?
Have you ever told someone, “I love you” and didn’t mean it? If so, why?
What lesson took you the longest to unlearn?
Links:2022-12-191h 09UnlearnedEp. 33: We Hate GratitudeGratitude seems simple, but what about when societal expectations make us feel like we are forced to bypass our feelings to show it? CA and Jaime discuss how gratitude can be used as a weapon, how societal pressures of showing it affects those who are neurodivergent, the importance of authentic gratitude, and more.
Notes:
The origins of gratitude
How the way we are taught gratitude affects how we see it as adults
Gratitude and guilt
Social constructs and neurodiversity
Why bypassing your feelings to show gratitude can be dangerous
Gratitude and gaslighting
What...2022-12-121h 08UnlearnedEp. 32: Religious Trauma: Part 6 - A Conversation with Rev KarlaJaime and CA close their series on Religious Trauma by speaking with Rev Karla, an ordained, interfaith, interspiritual minister who helps people who are deconstructing from Christianity to reclaim their spirituality so they can live with authenticity free from the dogma of their religious heritage, about the difficulty of separating from the fear-based, strongly patriarchal, indoctrination of modern day of Christianity.
*This episode and the series on religious trauma as a whole may be especially triggering to certain listeners.*
Rev Karla’s website: https://www.revkarla.com/
Recommended Reading:
Zealot by R...2022-12-051h 21UnlearnedEp. 31: Religious Trauma: Part 5 - SkillsCA and Jaime continue their series on Religious Trauma by discussing the skills needed to start deconstruction by exploring their individual paths to freedom.
*This episode and the series on religious trauma as a whole may be especially triggering to certain listeners.*
Part 1: Ep. 27: Religious Trauma: Part 1
Part 2: Ep. 28: Religious Trauma: Part 2 “The Sin of Thinking”
Part 3: Ep. 29: Religious Trauma: Part 3 - The “Hell” Narrative
Part 4: Ep. 30: Religious Trauma: Part 4 - Is Pleasure Evil?
Part 5: Ep. 31: Religious Trauma: Part 5 - Skills
Notes:
Where does deconstruction begin?
Why widening your social...2022-11-301h 08UnlearnedEp. 30: Religious Trauma: Part 4 - Is Pleasure Evil?Why is Trunk-or-Treating ok while Trick-or-Treating is bad? What’s the difference between yoga and mindful movement? Jaime and CA continue their series on religious trauma by diving into the cross-section of joy, pleasure, and religion by asking why some things are ok while some things are not.
*This episode and the series on religious trauma as a whole may be especially triggering to certain listeners.*
Previous Episodes in the Series
Part 1: Ep. 27: Religious Trauma: Part 1
Part 2: Ep. 28: Religious Trauma: Part 2 “The Sin of Thinking”
Part 3: Ep. 29: Religious Trauma: Part 3 - The “H...2022-11-2154 minUnlearnedEp. 29: Religious Trauma: Part 3 - The “Hell” NarrativeCA and Jaime continue their series on religious trauma by digging into how the black-and-white “Hell Narrative” can be incredibly dangerous to our relationships and psyche.
*This episode and the series on religious trauma as a whole may be especially triggering to certain listeners.*
Part 1: Ep. 27: Religious Trauma: Part 1
Part 2: Ep. 28: Religious Trauma: Part 2 “The Sin of Thinking”
Notes:
The moment you realize that you need to start having conversations about religion
The problem with the “if you’re not with us you’re against us” belief system
Getting censored for wanting to have authentic discussions about your faith
How religion can cau...2022-11-1452 minUnlearnedEp. 28: Religious Trauma: Part 2 “The Sin of Thinking”Jaime and CA continue their series on religious trauma by exploring how religion’s attempts to control our thoughts and emotions affect us both now and in the future.
*This episode and the series on religious trauma as a whole may be especially triggering to certain listeners.*
Part 1: Ep. 27: Religious Trauma: Part 1
Notes:
Recapping part 1
How repressing “sinful” thoughts and emotions damages you
What is spiritual bypassing and how is it harmful?
What about exploratory thoughts?
Links:
BEYOND THE WOUND -RELIGIOUS TRAUMA CONFERENCE : https://www.beyondthewound.com
Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/
Jaime’s Instagram: https...2022-11-0754 min
UnlearnedEp. 27: Religious Trauma: Part 1CA and Jaime introduce us to a series of episodes based on religious trauma. In this episode, they define religious trauma and explore where it comes from and how it happens.
*This episode and the series on religious trauma as a whole may be especially triggering to certain listeners.*
Notes:
Defining trauma
Defining complex trauma
Defining religious trauma
Why religious trauma is so harmful
Why religious indoctrination at such a young age can damage your sense of self
Understanding righteous anger
How religious indoctrination starts
How religion moves from love to fear and how that can affect us
Links:
BEYOND...2022-11-031h 15UnlearnedEp. 26: Relationships Are Earned Not OwedSome relationships stay on the surface level and that’s ok, but sometimes we want to experience deeper intimacy with specific people. Jaime and CA explore what happens when we seek out more authentic relationships, what to expect, how to handle the emotional changes, and more.
Notes:
Seeking out deeper and more authentic relationships
What happens when we seek deeper relationships with people who aren’t ready
Why roles don’t automatically define the deepness of a relationship
How to authentically participate in a relationship by changing your expectations
Understanding where tension comes from and how to nav...2022-10-241h 16UnlearnedEp. 25: When You Are Ready And They Aren’tTruth is not always black and white and as we grow and learn (or unlearn) our definition of it changes. At some point, we may be ready to step and tell our truth, but what happens if the people we are speaking to aren’t ready or willing to hear it? Join CA and Jaime as they discuss the challenge of not only living our authentic lives but sharing that authenticity with others.
Notes:
Why living authentically is important
Being ready to talk when others aren’t ready to listen
The challenge of speaking your truth to people who may not...2022-10-201h 01UnlearnedEp. 24 When Love=ControlControl can take many forms in relationships. One of those is by putting up boundaries and saying, “no” as an attempt to control, often without even realizing it. In this episode, Jaime and CA explore the role of control in relationships, where it comes from, and what we can to do break the cycle.
Notes:
Where do we learn to love?
How love can be controlling
How do we approach shifting dynamics in a relationship?
How shifting dynamics provide opportunities for growth
The importance of asking ourselves why we say “no”
The importance of knowing your asks
What to do when you...2022-10-1050 minUnlearnedEp 23: Why “Quick Fixes” Aren't EnoughWe can hardly go on social media without seeing some sort of mental health quick-fix post. While these solutions may help with the acute symptoms and behaviors, they often fail to address the underlying problems. Join CA and Jaime as they explore how to move beyond the latest pop psychology viral video and dig deep during our healing journeys.
Notes:
The problem with pop psychology
Why treating the acute symptoms only may not work in the long run
The importance of zooming out to get the complete picture of your mental health
Why quick fixes can...2022-10-0340 minUnlearnedEp 22: Boundaries 101Ep 22: Boundaries 101
We hear a lot about boundaries, especially on social media, but before we learn how to set them, we need to know what exactly they are. Join CA and Jaime as they walk us through boundaries by telling us what they are, why they are important, how to implement them, and more.
Notes:
What is a boundary?
Why are boundaries important?
How do we know when to set a boundary?
How to practice setting boundaries
What happens when people don’t respect our boundaries?
Links:
Follow the podcast on Instagram: ht...2022-09-2659 minUnlearnedEp 21: When You Can't Forgive or ForgetWhether through religion or parenting, we are often taught at a young age to forgive and forget, but what if we can’t? Jaime and CA discuss what it actually means to forgive someone, the psychology behind it, what happens if we just can’t bring ourselves to do it, and more.
Notes:
It’s Jaime’s Birthday!
What is the psychology of forgiveness?
How do we engage in forgiveness in a safe and meaningful way?
How spirituality and our childhood affect our ability to forgive properly
The process of forgiveness
Forgiveness versus reconciliation
The importance of accou...2022-09-191h 00UnlearnedEp 20: Does Trauma Make Us Toxic?Do hurt people hurt people? Is there a place for accountability? How do we move beyond the awareness stage? Jaime and CA examine these questions and many more as they discuss whether or not our past trauma can make us toxic.
Notes:
Do hurt people hurt people?
Does past trauma give us an excuse to be toxic?
The importance of accountability for our trauma responses
How to protect ourselves from trauma responses
How awareness turns into weaponized awareness
How unexamined wounds can impact our children
How to move past the awareness phase yourself
Audience Q&A
2022-09-121h 10UnlearnedEp 19: Why Do I Crave Chaos?Getting away from all the chaos of our past is a massive part of our healing journey. Why then do we continue to seek it out long after it’s gone? Join Jaime and CA as they discuss not only why we feel the need to fill that void, but what we can do to get rid of it altogether.
Notes:
What is chaos and why do we crave it?
Why emotional chaos flies under the radar
What are the markers of chaos?
Predictable chaos, why we crave it, and how we get it
Where people te...2022-09-0559 minUnlearnedEp 18: Is it Selfish to Heal?We all go through a sort of metamorphosis during our healing journeys. Is that act of transformation selfish? What about the people we leave behind? Are we even supposed to leave them behind? Join Jaime and CA as they take a deep dive into these questions and more as they discuss if it is selfish to heal.
Notes:
The best brands of seltzer and becoming sober curious
Is it selfish to heal?
The reason why we get pushback during our healing journeys
The importance of looking inward during metamorphosis
The intersection between personal healing and the...2022-08-2953 minUnlearnedEp 17 Why Don't I Trust Myself?Jaime and CA discuss learning to trust oneself through the lens of developing a relationship with one's future self. Please be sure to review us! We want to hear your voice! This helps out our podcast immensely. Follow the podcast on Instagram and say Hi! @theunlearnedpodcast -Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club: https://www.patreon.com/unlearned -Email us topics/suggestions: unlearnedpod@gmail.com.2022-08-221h 09UnlearnedEp 16 How to be Happy and Sad at the Same TimeJaime and CA discuss holding two conflicting emotions at once.2022-08-151h 00UnlearnedEp 15 Emotional ConsentJaime and CA discuss consent and boundaries around emotionally intense conversations.2022-08-081h 23UnlearnedEp 14 Toxic Positivity and Trauma ProcessingJaime and CA discuss avoiding engagement with negative feelings, past traumas and emotions and then being met with “ good vibes only!” 2022-08-011h 07UnlearnedEp 13 Abundance and DeficitJaime and CA discuss how one's views of their own self worth reflects the way they interact with the world.2022-07-251h 08UnlearnedEp 12 The Healing StagesJaime and CA discuss the process of healing; the stages we go through, the ways we can sometimes get stuck at certain points, and how to get unstuck when that happens.2022-07-181h 03UnlearnedEp 11 Self-Expression MattersIn this episode, Jaime and CA discuss self-expression (through hair, clothes and piercings, etc.), how it can be a vehicle for personal autonomy, how can be a way to release trauma, and so much more.
Join us as we dive deep into this topic.2022-07-111h 22
UnlearnedEp 10 Shit Talking: Coping Strategy or Roadblock?In this episode, Jaime and CA answer the question: what exactly is shit talking and why do we do it?
How often do you find yourself venting to blow off the steam of that infuriating situation?
Does someone you know seem resigned to endure a situation that is terrible for them but they just keep complaining about it anyway?
Is there a difference between complaining, venting, shit talking, and authentic emotional processing?
Join us as we explore this topic, and ultimately move into an empowered space of truly processing the emotions...2022-07-041h 17UnlearnedEp 9 The Role of the Black SheepJaime and CA talk about self advocacy in the face of traumatizing family dynamics that emphasize facade and deflection over honesty.
Join our Facebook Community here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theunlearnedcommunity2022-06-271h 07UnlearnedEp 8 Body Led HealingJaime and CA talk about listening to your body when it speaks through pain, anxiety, happiness, etc.2022-06-2053 minUnlearnedEp 7 Date YourselfWhat does building a relationship with yourself look like?
What does it feel like when you engage in dialogue with yourself?
Does it feel like a harmful relationship?
Is there Kindness?
Compassion?
Are you your own bully?
We explore all of these questions on this episode: Your Relationship with Yourself
Follow us on Instagram and say hi!
https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/ Join our Patreon:
https://www.patreon.com/unlearned2022-06-1358 minUnlearnedEp 6 You Belong to YourselfHave you heard... "Your behavior is a reflection of me!!!"
or "I say jump, you say, how high"
while growing up or from your partner?
This is your episode!
Jaime and CA discuss:
-Why do I feel like I can't be an individual in my family?
-Why is my individualization a threat to my relationships?
-Why does my family force loyalty?
-Where do I end and my family or partner begins?
-What is the risk of authenticity?
Please remember to review our podcast!
We appreciate all o...2022-06-0743 minUnlearnedEp 5 That's Not FunnyJaime and CA discuss humor as a tool for maintaining abusive power structures and deflecting criticism.2022-05-3035 minUnlearnedEp 4 People PleasingJaime and CA discuss people pleasing as a trauma response.2022-05-231h 21UnlearnedEp 3 It's Not All or NothingHosts Jaime and CA discuss breaking out of a dualistic perspectives when diving into self-healing and self-growth work. All-or-nothing statements, black & white mindsets, and rigid thought structures can all be a major hindrance to your growth. Pop those headphones on to find out more as we explore this foundational topic.
Please be sure to review us!
We want to hear your voice!
This helps out our podcast immensely.
Follow the podcast on Instagram and say Hi!
@theunlearnedpodcast
-Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club: https://www.patreon.com/unlearned -Email us topics/suggestions: unlearnedpod@gmail.com2022-05-1648 minUnlearnedE2 Replacing Self Doubt with Self TrustJaime and CA discuss learning to trust yourself.2022-05-0943 minUnlearnedE1 Pt. 2 Self-Consent During Trauma HealingIn this episode, Jaime and CA continue to explore the reasons why healing from trauma can feel so violating at times and how we can gain power back during the healing process.2022-05-0236 minUnlearnedE1 Pt. 1 Self-Consent During Trauma HealingIn this episode hosts Jaime Mahler and CA Rhoades explore reasons why healing from trauma can feel so violating at times and how we can gain power back during the healing process.2022-04-2627 min