Shows
No More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery95: Addiction, Identity, and the Illusion of Brokenness: Jason Shiers on Childhood Trauma, Secret Shame in Recovery, and What Real Healing Looks LikeIn today’s powerful conversation, I welcome psychotherapist and Infinite Recovery Project founder Jason Shiers. Jason shares his deeply personal story of addiction, trauma, and his 20+ year journey through recovery — before a radical spiritual awakening changed everything.Together, Jason and I dive into:Why trauma is often the hidden root of addiction.How traditional recovery models pathologize normal human responses.What it really means to heal — beyond symptom management.The transformational power of somatic work, parts work (IFS), and embodied spirituality.How authentic relationships become the ultimate container for healing.Jason also explores how to...2025-05-071h 07No More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery94: From Half a Husband to a Whole Marriage | How to Rebuild Trust After Porn Addiction and BetrayalCan a marriage truly heal after porn addiction and betrayal trauma? In this powerful episode of The No More Desire Podcast, host Jake Kastleman sits down with Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith—coaches, authors, and a couple who’ve walked the road from addiction and deception to deep connection and true intimacy.👉 Grab your FREE DOWNLOAD of The 8 Tools to Heal from Porn Addiction & Betrayal Trauma Here.👉 Grab the Raabsmith's Free Guide: The Honest ConnectionIn this episode, you’ll hear:The real impact of porn addiction in marriageHow...2025-04-301h 11No More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery93: The #1 Daily Habit That’s Helping My Clients Quit PornStruggling to quit porn, control your cravings, or stay sober long-term?In this episode, I share one of the most powerful—but often overlooked—tools for porn addiction recovery: gratitude.Learn how daily gratitude can:Rewire your brain using neuroplasticityReduce porn cravings by activating your prefrontal cortexReplace the shame cycle with emotional clarity and purposeBuild a lasting recovery mindset based on joy, not just disciplineI also walk you through my personal morning gratitude routine, and how it's helped me stay sober for over 10 years—even during high-s...2025-04-2330 minNo More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery92: How One Man Stayed Sober While Alone and in Pain: What His Story Teaches Us About Porn Addiction RecoveryWhat happens when you're stuck at home, in pain, and totally alone? For most men recovering from porn addiction, that’s the ultimate relapse setup.But for Steve, a client in my recovery program, this moment of isolation became the most spiritually grounded, mentally focused, and connected time of his life.In this episode, I share the story of how Steve stayed sober after surgery while his wife and kids were out of the country—how he avoided porn cravings, built emotional resilience, and grew stronger in his relationship with God.You'll learn:Ho...2025-04-1632 minNo More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery91: How to Replace Porn Addiction | Gain Motivation, Reduce Symptoms of Anxiety & Depression, Build Focus & Attention, Beat the Addictive Mindset, and Be the Husband Your Wife NeedsHow can you replace porn addiction? The answer is not a mystery. Essentially, it requires you to build the skills of a porn addiction recovery mindset and lifestyle. It also requires consistency.If recovery were a car, these recovery skills would be the engine, and consistency would be the fuel. You can rewire your brain and stop watching porn using these skills and this consistency.You may have achieved a week or two of sobriety at some point. Or even a few months. But would you like to make it a year, 5 years, 10 years, and...2025-04-0230 minNo More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery90: The Neuroscience of Quitting Porn | Build a New Brain By Changing Habit Patterns, Fixing Dopamine, Altering Nutrition, Transforming Identity, and Finding Deeper MeaningMy conversation today is with George Haymaker. We discuss the neuroscience of quitting porn and other addictions, and how to change habit patterns and rewire your brain. George is an inspiring man with an incredible story. He’s helped many people heal their brains and change their habits for the better. He is a certified neuroscience coach & consultant, and an impressive entrepreneur with a long history of successful business ventures. George helps addicts overcome their destructive patterns by teaching them sound practices for step-by-step habit change based on principles of neuroscience. I believe our c...2025-03-261h 21No More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery89: Recovery Mindset for Vacations | 4 Keys to Stay Sober from Porn During and After TravelIt can be very hard for many men to stay sober from porn on vacations - both during and after. We are thrown out of our structure and norm, and many of us can feel far more impulsive and prone towards porn addiction. This can seem counterintuitive, as you'd think that vacation and travel would make it easier to stay sober. I talk about why this is not the case for many people, why post-vacation can be a time of serious relapse with porn, and how to guard against these pitfalls and stay clean of porn during t...2025-03-1935 minNo More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery88: How Do I Stop My Husband from Watching Porn? | How to Help Your Husband Quit Porn, Heal Yourself, and Break Free From the LiesWhen your husband is addicted to porn, you can feel powerless to stop it. You may ask: How do I stop my husband from watching porn? Is there something I can say or do that will convince him? If only I could find the right words, maybe he would finally feel motivated and stop hurting me and our family like this. Anger and feeling the impulse to control him is normal. Feeling judgmental, hateful, and appalled by his behavior is normal too. You wish you knew what to do, and you can’t help feeling sometimes that it...2025-03-121h 03
The Freedom From Anger Podcast"Understanding and Overcoming Porn Addiction with Jake Kastleman"Welcome to the Freedom from Anger Podcast! In this episode, we dive into the complex subject of porn addiction with special guest Jake Kastleman, an intensive recovery coach specializing in this area. Jake shares his personaljourney, insights from his father's pioneering work in the field, and effective recovery strategies that incorporate emotional, mental, and spiritual well-being. Alongside host James, they discuss the importance of daily routines, self-compassion, and the deeper implications of addiction and anger. Don't miss this insightful conversation on understanding and overcoming addiction. For more resources, visit nomoredesire.com & freedomanger.com2025-03-1042 minNo More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery87: Self-Control & Porn Addiction | Why Willpower Always Fails & the 3 Pillars to Quit Porn SuccessfullyThere are a lot of voices out there telling you that all you need to quit porn addiction is more discipline. They say you just have to want it bad enough, fight hard enough, and exert enough self-control. But if you’ve ever tried to stop watching porn using willpower alone, you already know—it doesn’t work. In fact, relying on willpower actually fuels porn addiction. Today, I’m going to show you why, and more importantly, what works instead.Willpower Is a Symptom of Recovery, Not the Cause of ItWe are taught that sta...2025-02-2633 minNo More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery86: Why Doesn't God Take My Porn Addiction? | Spirituality, Psychology & Praying to Quit PornWhy doesn’t God take away your porn addiction? People tell you to give your addiction to Christ, and it doesn’t seem to work for you. Why? I remember how frustrated I used to be by this concept of giving my addiction over to Christ. People advised me to simply surrender to Christ and that was the answer to get sober. But it didn’t work for me. I thought this might be because God didn’t love me, didn’t care, or that I was simply too sinful a person. I’ve worked with men acros...2025-02-1941 minNo More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery85: My Wife Ignores My Progress with Porn Addiction | Navigating Relationship Struggles, Lack of Trust & Betrayal TraumaDo you feel like your wife is ignoring your progress with porn addiction? That she doesn’t understand how difficult it is for you to quit porn?Do you feel like you can get sober for a few weeks, or even a few months, but when you relapse with porn it is devastating for her, and you have to start over from square one? Do you feel like you can’t do anything right in her eyes because of your pornography addiction? That she sees even your best intentions to be loving and kind as selfi...2025-02-1240 minNo More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery84: The Science Behind Porn Addiction—and How to Stop | The Truth About Addiction Genetics, and Why You’re Not “Doomed” to Be an Addict Forever | Dr. Evelyn HigginsDo you believe that you are genetically prone to addiction? What if you could alter these genetics? Today, I speak with Dr. Evelyn Higgins with Wired for Addiction about the science behind porn addiction, specifically the impact of epigenetics on addiction. According to Dr. Higgins, we can alter our genetic expression, developing a completely different way of life, and rewiring our brain to overcome porn addiction. Dr. Evelyn Higgins is an internationally recognized expert in epidemiology of substance use disorders, mental health conditions, and process addictions like social media, video game, and porn add...2025-02-0558 minNo More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery83: Prevent Porn Cravings & Relapse Through Emotional Awareness Techniques | Simple Methods to Slow the Mind & Connect with OthersToday, I’m joined by Owen Marcus, an expert in somatic and emotional healing for men across the world. His company is called MELD. He is highly knowledgeable, with 30+ years of experience, and it was a real pleasure speaking with him. Many of us men struggle to express our emotions. It’s classic! What we may not know, though, is that unprocessed hard emotions can easily evolve into porn cravings and porn relapse. Anger and shame (the feeling of not being good enough) often drove my cravings for porn. And I hadn’t a clue this w...2025-01-291h 14
No More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery82: How to Rewire Your Brain, Quit Porn, and Reclaim Your Life (on The Walk Family Podcast)I had an excellent conversation with Tony Smith from The Walk Family Podcast - a Christian podcast for parents. It was a huge privilege talking with Tony about the true struggle of pornography addiction in this country and around the world. As many of you guys know, porn addiction is rampant. This is no longer the 90’s where the internet was new - porn is now recognized as a legitimate addiction across the world. While it has not yet been officially included in the DSM (the Diagnostic Statistical Manual within the psychology field) I believe that...2025-01-1652 min
The Walk Family PodcastBreaking the Chains: Overcoming Porn Addiction Through Faith and Psychology with Jake KastlemanCould an addiction that starts from curiosity lead to a profound spiritual transformation? Join us as Jake Kastleman, the founder of No More Desire, opens up about his journey overcoming pornography addiction, beginning as a teenager in a home already familiar with addiction’s shadows due to his father's work. Jake's story is one of struggle, revelation, and redemption, offering invaluable insights into the societal and personal impacts of pornography, including its ties to human trafficking and its emotional toll on men. His experience illustrates the stark realities of addiction and serves as a beacon of hope for those na...2025-01-1048 minNo More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery81: Christianity and Porn Addiction | How Your Relationship with God May Be Keeping You From Quitting Porn and How to Overcome Religious and Sexual ShameAs a porn addiction recovery coach, I see clients of all backgrounds - religious and irreligious. Christianity and porn addiction often go hand-in-hand in my experience. I know that they did for me.I love my faith, but the reality is that many Christians carry burdensome shame about their sexuality, and others about their porn habit. This sexual shame is part of what drives their addiction. Many of us grew up being taught (explicitly or implicitly) that sexuality is dangerous, and is to be feared and strictly controlled. We were taught that physical attraction or d...2025-01-0950 minNo More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery80: Childhood Trauma, Porn Addiction, Seeking Safety in Pleasure and Escape, and How to Quit Porn by Transforming Your Mindset & Lifestyle (on the New Paths Podcast with Dan Johnson)Today's episode is from the New Paths podcast. Dan Johnson and I tag-team it again and talk porn addiction recovery, touching heavily on my personal porn addiction story. In today's episode, I'm going to dig in some to my childhood trauma, as well as sexual trauma, getting a bit vulnerable with you. I want to say from the get-go, I didn't experience severe trauma. My heart goes out to those who have, including many of my clients and friends in recovery. Rather, I grew up as a kid with a very sensitive and...2024-12-231h 02
The New Paths Podcast with Dan Johnson#128: Recovery As a Way of Life (Interview with Jake Kastleman of the "No More Desire Podcast")Welcome to The New Paths Podcast with Dan Johnson, where you'll learn how to overcome porn addiction by learning the skill of effectively handling the frontline craving. Because when you learn this skill, you can be done with porn forever and step into a life of peace, possibility, and exciting new horizons!Want to know exactly what to do the next time you feel that intense urge? Click here2024-12-2254 minNo More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery79: Emotional Drivers of Porn Addiction, Bad Advice that Makes Porn Addiction Worse, How to Heal Past Trauma, Save Your Marriage & Improve Your Sex Life | Dean & HollyKem SunseriEvery man or woman who struggles with porn addiction carries trauma and emotional struggles. In my own personal porn addiction recovery journey, I’ve come to understand many things about the emotional pain that I carry. And by understanding it, I’ve been able to release much of it, and I continue to after a decade of sobriety from porn. In my professional work with clients, I’ve come to see many of the same patterns - the same burdens, insecurities, and coping mechanisms. If you or a loved one is suffering from porn addi...2024-12-181h 37The New Paths Podcast with Dan Johnson#127: Struggling to Quit Porn? Try Self-Compassion (On the No More Desire Podcast with Jake Kastleman )Welcome to The New Paths Podcast with Dan Johnson, where you'll learn how to overcome porn addiction by learning the skill of effectively handling the frontline craving. Because when you learn this skill, you can be done with porn forever, and step into a life of peace, possibility, and exciting new horizons!
Want to know exactly what to do the next time you feel that intense urge? Click here2024-12-131h 08No More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery78: Stop Porn Addiction in 3 Easy Steps with ‘The Frontline Framework’ | Dan Johnson with New PathsIn the episode, Dan Johnson gives you 3 easy steps to stop porn addiction. This process is called The Frontline Framework.Dan Johnson with New Paths is another man just like myself helping men overcome porn addiction. Dan and I not only discuss this framework but also dive into multiple psychological and lifestyle strategies you can begin using right now to quit porn. BUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLEFREE WORKSHOP: The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for PornFREE EBOOK: The 10 Tools to Co...2024-12-111h 14No More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery77: One Year of Porn Addiction Withdrawals | What to Expect During Your First Year After Quitting & How to Stay SoberI recently had someone reach out to me directly to ask about porn addiction withdrawal—what it really feels like, what challenges come up, and how to get through it. Their question instantly took me back to the beginning of my own porn addiction recovery journey.When I was six months sober, it was one of the most beautiful yet difficult times of my life. I was learning so much about myself. But I was also facing challenges I never expected.You might have heard people describe withdrawing from porn as mild—a process that only...2024-12-0433 minNo More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery76: Anger, Porn Addiction & One Simple Mental Technique to Overcome BothAnger and porn addiction—what do they have in common? At first, it might seem like the answer is nothing. But think about it: how many times have you been angry, and shortly afterward found yourself relapsing on porn? Or maybe you felt stressed or frustrated after a hard day at work, only to come home and slip up. Doesn’t the shame you feel after watching porn feel similar to the shame after losing your temper in a big fight?In this episode, I’m going to show you the c...2024-11-2726 minNo More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery75: Quit Porn Using IFS | A Powerful New Approach to Psychology & Addiction RecoveryWhat if your brain pushes you towards porn addiction because it’s trying to help you, not hurt you? What if you could quit porn using IFS, an approach that helps you effectively understand and speak with the part of your brain pushing you towards porn, and you could redirect it? What if you could work alongside that part to overcome porn addiction, rather than feeling exhausted trying to fight it all of the time?Since the dawn of western psychology, we have believed in a “mono-mind”. Meaning you have one brain and one personality. Seems pretty obviou...2024-11-1330 minNo More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery74: Being Self-Critical Fuels Porn Addiction | How to Stop Perfectionism So You Can Stop Watching PornPorn addiction and perfectionism go hand-in-hand. If you want to stop watching porn, you need to understand the underlying relationship between porn addiction and these self-critical tendencies. One of the great misconceptions out in the world is that porn addicts are selfish, lazy, or simply don’t try hard enough. But in working with these men one-on-one, I don't see this at all. What if I told you that men who struggle with porn addiction are some of the most self-critical and perfectionistic people there are? What if I told you that porn addicts aren’t peop...2024-11-0631 minNo More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery73: Porn Addiction Positive Affirmations that Are Psychologically Effective | Recovery Mindset Statements to Quit PornDo you wish you had a list of recovery mindset statements that could train your brain out of porn addiction? Do you wish you had porn addiction positive affirmations that could convince you to quit porn? Today I am not going to give you that list…because that list does not exist. Don’t believe the hype out there…But what I am going to give you is: Fundamental principles for writing porn addiction positive affirmations.A comprehensive list of positive affirmations that work for porn addiction.How to use these affirmations in your daily li...2024-10-3135 minNo More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery72: Break Barriers to Quit Porn | 4 Psychological Blocks that Prevent Porn Recovery and How to Bust Through ThemYou cannot quit porn simply by overcoming sexual cravings and urges. Porn addiction doesn’t ultimately stem from these urges (as surprising as that is).In reality, porn cravings are a symptom of underlying psychological barriers you're experiencing that are preventing porn addiction recovery. Instead of facing or fighting porn cravings, you need to get to the root causes of pornography addiction. You need to access the mental blocks in your mindset and remove them. I’m going to teach you how to do this today. If you properly and consistently follow...2024-10-2333 minNo More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery71: Relapse-Free Business Trips & Vacations | How to Build a Safety Plan to Stop Watching Porn While TravelingHave you ever had a streak of sobriety, only to go on a vacation or business trip and relapse on porn? In order to stop watching porn on business trips and vacations, you need to take a proactive approach.One of the most counterintuitive things about vacation is that it can be one of the greatest triggers for relapse. Vacation takes us out of our norms and routines, giving way to unanticipated complications and temptations. Business trips can also lead to porn relapse, as we are often under pressure and stress during the day and a...2024-10-1644 minNo More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery70: What to Do When Your Wife is Triggered | How to Hold Boundaries and Use the Language of Safety in Your Marriage When You Have a Porn AddictionIf you’re married and you struggle with a porn addiction, we’re going to talk about what to do when your wife is triggered. I have seen a recurring trend with my clients who struggle with pornography addiction. Many have no boundaries with their partners. They face some very serious struggles and confusion in their marriage, trying to figure out how to react when their wives with betrayal trauma are triggered. In other words, when their wives become angry, defensive, lash out, become critical and insulting, or they shut down and give their husbands the silent treat...2024-10-0952 minNo More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery69: Journey Out of Darkness | A Porn Addiction Story of Healing Through Empathy & CompassionIn today’s article, I’m going to share a story with you. One that I believe every porn addict can relate to. This story is going to teach you how to heal porn addiction using loving and compassionate methods that, in my opinion, people don’t talk about enough. It’s also going to teach you the truth about the underlying psychology and root causes of porn addiction. This story will be told from the perspective of a father who is watching their son struggle with a pornography addiction. And regardless of whether you...2024-09-2525 minNo More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery68: From Porn to Peace | Recovery Mindset Practices to Stop Watching PornWhat if you had mental tools you could use in an instant to remove your desire for porn? What if you could stop watching porn because you had a recovery mindset that replaced your need for it? What I often hear from my clients when they begin my intensive porn addiction recovery program is that cravings for porn and sex feel instant and automatic. They see a woman, and immediately the lust and fantasizing starts. I remember exactly what that was like during the years I was addicted to porn. Many...2024-09-1942 minNo More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery67: My Wife Won't Have Sex With Me - What Do I Do? | Side Effects of Porn Addiction in Marriage and Finding Sexual Healing“My wife won’t have sex with me”, “Porn addiction has ruined our marriage and our sex life”, “My wife has gained 80 lbs since we got married, and I’m no longer sexually attracted to her”, “My wife dresses like a nun and wants nothing to do with sex”...If any of these sound like you, and you’re in a marriage where sex is as frequent as a solar eclipse (or if that’s too generous), today’s episode is for you. Today, we’re going to talk about:Reasons your wife isn’t having sex with you (and they’re not...2024-09-1141 minNo More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery66: When Wives Become Sex Objects | Porn Addiction in Marriage, and How a Man Overcomes Sexual ObsessionToday, I address common questions many men I’ve worked with have had about porn addiction in marriage. We’ll talk about how wives can unfortunately become sex objects in today's cultural climate (and how to put a stop to it), and how a husband can:Overcome sexual obsession so he can lead a happier, more fulfilling life.Feel truly sexually satisfied in the relationship.Help his wife feel safe, accepted, and loved.Quit porn by building a recovery mindset and lifestyle.If you’re a spouse of a porn addict, this episode is also for you. 2024-09-0559 minNo More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery65: Beat Porn Triggers Using this 5-Step System to Overcome Porn AddictionMany of my clients have the same question when they start my porn addiction recovery program: “When triggers for porn come up, I just don’t know how to handle them. Are there any simple practices I can use to overcome porn triggers?”In today’s episode, I am going to show you how to beat porn triggers and overcome porn addiction using a 5-step system that is simple and easy to apply.With this 5-step system, you will no longer be confused about how to handle porn triggers because you’ll have a strategy in place e...2024-08-2935 minNo More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery64: The 17 Porn Addiction Symptoms that Porn Addicts and Spouses Should KnowDo you or your spouse struggle with a porn addiction? Or do you suspect that you or your spouse may be struggling with one? Today, I’m going to share 17 porn addiction symptoms that porn addicts and spouses should know. I’ve been working in the addiction community for years, and I have seen recurring patterns and themes among clients and friends who are trying to quit porn. I’ve also been through my own porn addiction recovery journey. In this article, I pull upon both my professional experience helping others stop porn addiction and my personal experie...2024-08-2354 minNo More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery63: Relapse: How to Tell Your Wife About Your Porn Relapse (Without a Fight) Using The 4-Pronged Ownership ApproachYou just watched porn. You’ve been working hard to stay sober and stop watching porn, but despite your best efforts, you slipped up and now you’re in a dilemma… How to tell your wife about your porn relapse? Relapses are a common part of porn addiction recovery. I would love it if they weren’t, but they are! It’s just the reality. During the years I was working to quit porn, I relapsed after a year of sobriety…twice! It was brutally discouraging, but it was not...2024-08-1640 minNo More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery62: Stop Thoughts that Cause Porn Addiction | The 5 Levels of Cognition Behind Porn CravingsIf you struggle with porn addiction, it can be a real challenge to figure out why you experience cravings for porn. A lot of the world will tell you it’s because you crave sex - it’s your natural urges - and you just need to discipline yourself enough to stop watching porn. That’s not the case. You’re not a man with an overactive sex drive. You’re not lazy. You’re not weird. You’re not a pervert. You’re not bad for dealing with a porn addiction. You don’t build willpow...2024-08-0744 minNo More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery61: Make Friends with the Addict Part of Your Brain | Quit Porn Using 3 Evidence-based IFS PrinciplesToday, you're going to use 3 evidence-based IFS principles to learn how to quit porn by making friends with the addict part of your brain.IFS (Internal Family Systems) therapy is a powerful framework for overcoming addiction. It takes a non-traditional approach that has been studied and utilized for 40 years, and has been shown to be highly effective. Using this approach, you'll discover how to make peace with the part of you that has consistently led you to porn addiction - this part that creates destruction in your life right now. You’re going to l...2024-07-2436 minNo More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery60: Stop Porn Cravings | 7 Tools to Overcome Fantasizing & Lust HabitsWhat if you had a mental toolbelt to stop porn cravings and overcome fantasizing and lust habits? Today, I’m going to give you exactly that. By the end of this episode, you will have 7 tools to overcome fantasizing and lust, so you can beat porn cravings and stop wanting pornography. But - just like anything - in order for them to work, you have to apply them.Imagine you’re at the gym and you see a girl in her gym outfit, or you’re browsing online and see some ad pop up with a woman...2024-07-1756 minNo More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery59: 3 Thought Strategies to Prevent Porn Addiction and CravingsWhen my porn addiction recovery story started a decade ago, I believed that the cravings for porn were my main enemy. I thought that if I could just resist these urges, I’d be free. However, through years of working with men around the world and diving deep into my own experiences, I've come to understand that these cravings are merely symptoms of deeper issues. The true battle lies in preventing these cravings from emerging in the first place.Today, I share how to overcome porn addiction using practical, in-the-trenches solutions and strategies to n...2024-07-0348 minNo More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery58: How You Can Enjoy Work More - According to Brain Science | Chris ReavisOne of the pillars for building a recovery mindset and lifestyle to overcome porn addiction is connection - or in other words having positive, fulfilling relationships.In today’s episode, I speak with Chris Reavis, professional coach, speaker, and author in the corporate space. He teaches how we can enjoy work more and build better corporate relationships with co-workers and leaders using brain science and evidence-based methods. As work is where we may spend about 1/3rd of our life, it’s important that we have good relationships and interactions with coworkers, bosses, clients, etc… If we are...2024-06-261h 14No More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery57: The 4 Root Causes of Porn AddictionDo you find yourself constantly asking, “Why do I struggle with porn addiction?” Or, ”Why is my spouse / child addicted to porn?” There are a lot of messages out there that will tell you porn addiction is about sexual urges. It’s about having a high libido. It’s about a desire for sex that isn’t being fulfilled. If a man wants porn then it’s his spouse’s responsibility to make sure he’s satisfied, and if he’s satisfied then he won’t want porn. I have news for you. That’s a bun...2024-06-1945 minNo More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery56: Keys for Confidence, Self-Worth, and Recovery | Mark CollinsIf you're battling with pornography addiction, you're not alone, and there's a way out. I've been there, and I've come through the other side. Let's talk about how you can break free from porn addiction and reclaim your life.In today’s episode, I speak with Mark Collins, a Coach and Mentor who helps men uncover their true identity so they can build confidence, self-worth, and a life of deep meaning. Through my years of addiction, I often wondered what was driving this destructive behavior. For a long time, I thought it was simply sexual urg...2024-06-1258 minNo More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery55: 8 Rules to Get You 3 Months Sober from PornDo you find yourself struggling to quit porn, barely making it past the first week or even the first few days? Today, I’m going to give you 8 rules to get you 3-months sober from porn.I remember how daunting it felt when I was grappling with a decade-long pornography addiction. I constantly wondered what would finally help me overcome this addiction for good. If only I could reach three months of sobriety, I believed, it would transform my life! Today, I want to share eight rules that helped me get three months sobe...2024-06-0539 minNo More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery54: Trauma, Attachment, Shame & Porn Addiction | Jeanine GardnerRecently, I had the pleasure of sitting down with Therapist Jeanine Gardner, from Circles of Grace, part of LifeStar Salt Lake. She shared extremely valuable insights about how trauma, attachment, shame, and porn addiction are all interconnected, and how we can heal trauma and insecure attachments to overcome porn addiction. In this episode we cover: Why porn addiction (and all addiction) is very misunderstoodHow attachment wounds, trauma, and shame fuel porn addictionEpigenetics: How trauma is passed down through genetics multiple generationsInherited shame and how we can heal itRecognizing feelings as neither good nor badThe importance of the...2024-05-291h 45No More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery53: "I'm triggered when I see a girl dressed immodestly" | How to overcome triggers and lustful thoughts with easeSo, you’re walking down the street, minding your own business, when BAM a girl walks by in a skimpy outfit. Thoughts of lust, fantasizing, and craving are running through your mind. Or, let’s say, you’re browsing online, minding your own business, when BOOM some ad pops up of women in swimsuits. You’re triggered. And these triggers have started you down the path to eventually acting out with porn. You feel like it’s almost inevitable. You’ve been working so hard to overcome porn addiction, and when stuff like this shows up o...2024-05-2252 minNo More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery52: How to Help Someone with a Porn Addiction in 3 StepsIt can be so hard to know how to help someone with a porn addiction. We worry deeply for our loved ones. We try so, so hard to “knock some sense into them”; to tell them to get help, or to try and help them ourselves. We talk and talk and talk until we’re blue in the face, attempting to get through.Sometimes, our spouse or child will have moments of clarity, knowing they need help to quit porn. But, when we follow up to see if they’ve set up that the...2024-05-1540 minNo More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery51: The Porn Addiction Funnel: Why You “Stop Thinking” When Cravings Hit & How To Break the Addiction CycleDo you ever wonder why you get sucked into porn addiction and everything else seems to disappear?You have a million important reasons for quitting porn, but when you get stressed you seem to enter this "funnel" that you can't see outside. It feels almost inevitable that you'll give in. I remember exactly how that was. I dealt with this habit for over 10 years, and it seemed impossible to overcome. Today, I'm going to teach you how to stop entering this "Porn Addiction Funnel". Coping with stress using porn addiction - or...2024-05-0835 minNo More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery50: 3 Mental Habits to Quit Porn: The Recovery MindsetSo you’ve got this monkey on your back. It keeps interrupting your life. You’ve been taught some mental habits to quit porn, but none of them seem to help. You’re tired of being addicted to porn. It increases your anxiety, it decreases your ability to connect with others, you feel more depressed, you don’t feel as motivated or driven. It’s sucking your potential away from you. You keep thinking all you need to do is try harder. Be determined to stop. Be more dedicated. Think more positively. BELIEVE in yourself. Think about...2024-05-0126 minNo More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery49: Porn Addiction is Just a SymptomToday I want to talk about a lie that we're told about porn addiction. We're often told that addiction is just a bad habit, that we need to abstain from it, get over our impulsivity, and just say no to the cravings and urges. But let me tell you, that's a bunch of crap.Overcoming porn addiction isn't just about saying no to the habit; it's about developing a new mindset and lifestyle that supports sobriety; a recovery mindset and lifestyle. Addiction isn't the root issue; it's a symptom of deeper mental, spiritual, relational, and physical suffering...2024-04-1721 minNo More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery48: How Shame Feeds Porn Addiction & Feeling Bad About Porn Makes You Crave It Even MoreHow can feeling bad about porn addiction make you more likely to seek it out?Do you ever wonder how you could possibly want to stop watching porn so bad, yet the worse you feel about it the more you seem to “want” it? Does it seem strange that you could feel so negative about something, and yet crave the heck out of it at the same time? You think, “there must be something wrong with me. Otherwise, I wouldn’t go back over and over again to this thing I can’t stand.”Your pornog...2024-04-1030 minNo More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery47: Overcome Porn Addiction Using Nutrition | Jordan GundersenPorn addiction is a struggle for many today. Finding ways to break free of porn can feel confusing and overwhelming, as we aren’t sure where to start. One method of overcoming addiction that is gaining traction is nutrition. In episode 47 of No More Desire, hosted by me (Jake Kastleman), we turn the spotlight to the intersection of nutrition, mental health, and addiction recovery. Jordan Gundersen, a Master Herbalist renowned for his expertise in health and nutrition, delves into how dietary choices and natural remedies can play a pivotal role in combating addiction cravings and fost...2024-04-031h 07No More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery46: Things To Do Every Day to Help You Stay CleanI recently received this question from one of my listeners:“I’m trying to break free from porn. What are some key things I can do throughout the day so that when it comes to the time I get home I’m not tempted beyond what I can handle? I know the Bible says that I will never be tempted beyond what I can bear but sometimes I feel like I can’t beat it...”I LOVE this question! There are so many amazing things that we can do everyday to “armor up” and make oursel...2024-03-2728 minNo More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery45: How to Stop Cravings & FantasizingDo you wish you felt in control? Are you tired of experiencing porn cravings everyday? Today, we’re going to talk about how to stop cravings and fantasizing so you can overcome porn addiction for good.I remember what it felt like dealing with non-stop cravings and wondering if I’d ever get better. I remember feeling out of control and hopeless. Now, after 9 years of sobriety, and helping others achieve their own recovery, I can say it is not hopeless at all. There is so, so much hope.Quitting porn requires a shift...2024-03-0629 minNo More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery44: Why Porn Addiction Destroys Motivation and What to Do About ItToday, I’m going to teach you why porn addiction destroys motivation, and what you can do about it. During the decade I struggled with addictions to porn and masturbation, I constantly regretted how I was squandering my potential. I felt like the times I was clean of porn I could do pretty well in life - I was productive in school, at work, my relationships were better, I was friendlier. But during the times that I struggled with porn addiction, all of that seemed to disappear, or at least to suffer. I thought “If I coul...2024-02-2832 minNo More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery43: Ease Stress in 5 StepsOne of the main reasons that we struggle with porn addiction is we have not yet learned how to manage stress effectively. Managing stress is not an easy task, especially with how many challenging emotions and decisions face us today. Most people are more stressed than they’ve ever been, with the political, economic, and societal context. But all this does not need to lead to addiction.Rather than escaping through pornography addiction (or other addictions), we can learn how to stop running from discomfort, and start leaning into it.We...2024-02-2124 minNo More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery42: Dependence, Independence, InterdependenceAre you trying to quit porn for yourself, or for others? Should you be motivated to stop watching porn for your spouse? Your kids? For another family member or a friend? Sometimes we addicts can rely heavily upon others - to an unhealthy extent. Or, we can completely isolate ourselves, trying to do everything on our own. When it comes to our attitude and outlook, it is important we get one thing straight. Our ability to stay clean or porn does not hinge on any outside influences. It’s not others’ fault wh...2024-02-1437 minNo More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery41: What the Stoics Teach Us About Recovery | Marcus Aurelius and the MeditationsHow can the teachings of the Stoics help us overcome porn addiction?Stoicism is a moral philosophy for how to live a good life. Sometimes we make the mistake of believing stoicism is all about being serious and having no emotion. Being “stoic”, right? This has little to do with what Stoicism actually is. We also make the assumption that stoicism, as a philosophy, is irreligious. But this is not the case. If you’re not familiar with the Stoics, they were philosophers during the age of the Roman Empire. They believed that by obser...2024-02-0741 minNo More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery40: 5 Steps to Bounce Back After a Slip/Relapse with PornWhen you slip up with porn addiction, are you able to bounce back? Or do you spiral?Is a slip a learning experience for you? Or does it come out of nowhere and you have no clue how to prevent it in the future? Today, I’ll give you the formula for turning a slip or relapse - what can be a hopeless, negative experience - into a springboard for recovery. So you can use it to actually help you get clean and quit porn for good. You’ll learn 5 steps to bounce back after a sli...2024-01-2425 minNo More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery39: Video Games and Porn AddictionDo you have an issue with porn addiction and video game addiction? If so, you’re not alone, my friend. I used to have both of these addictions, and I’ve known many men (and some women) who have struggled with these as well. Video games and porn go hand-in-hand. And I’m not talking about the simple fact that video games have sexual content in them sometimes - perfect, animated women that defy reality. That’s triggering (obviously), but I’m talking about something much deeper. In this episode, we’re going to talk...2024-01-1739 minNo More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery38: Take it Easy and Overcome Porn AddictionDo you ever feel high-strung? Do you ever have spinning or obsessive thoughts? Do you ever feel unable to quiet your mind and just relax? To overcome porn addiction, we need to learn to “take it easy”. But what does that even mean? How do we do that, and how does it help with porn addiction? Listen to today’s episode to find out.For those who feel like they have a non-stop mind that never quiets, especially during the winter months when they go through seasonal mood challenges, I wanted to share some thi...2024-01-0338 minNo More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery37: Mindset Shift: 3 Thought Strategies to Beat Porn AddictionDo you have incessant cravings for porn lately? In this episode, you'll learn 3 Mindset Strategies to Beat Porn Addiction.Do you feel like once you’ve started craving you have no choice but to give in to porn addiction eventually? Even if you make it a day, a week, or a month, does failure seem inevitable?You want to stop so bad, but you’ve lost hope.I felt this way for years. Once momentum was moving me towards pornography addiction, I knew eventually I’d give in at some point. It took...2023-12-2742 minNo More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery36: My Spouse & I Just Fought. I Feel Triggered. How Do I Stay Clean?How do I come out of an argument with my spouse and NOT relapse? For many of the men that I’ve spoken to, they can get really triggered to go to their porn addiction after an argument or a fight with their spouse. It’s super common. Today, I want to talk about why fights or arguments can be so triggering for us to go look at porn - leading to slips and relapses - and how we can better handle the shame, anger, and intense emotions that might come after a fight, so we can stop...2023-12-2048 minNo More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery35: Winter Blues: Staying Sober During the HolidaysDo you feel like the holidays should be a happy time, but for you it’s a really triggering time for your addiction? Do you feel like the winter drives you to engage with your pornography addiction or another addiction more, and that cravings are worse during the winter? We’re going to talk about these things today, and some strategies you can use to stay clean and sober during the holidays, to overcome porn addiction long-term. First, why can the holidays and winter time be so hard for some of us when it come...2023-12-1238 minNo More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery34: 4 Simple Practices to Overcome Porn Addiction CravingsWhen porn cravings hit, what do you do? Do you fight the porn addiction? Resist it? Try to just not think about it and distract yourself? I’m here to tell you that none of these options work. At least not long-term. Willpower is finite. It runs out. To overcome porn addiction requires a completely different approach. So what can you do instead? Today I’m going to give you 4 Simple Practices you can use when you face pornography addiction cravings. So, imagine you’re experiencing an addiction craving or a trigger. What do you do...2023-11-2848 minNo More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery33: What God Thinks of Porn AddictsWhat does God think of porn addicts? As someone who struggles with porn addiction, do you ever feel like God is punishing you for your mistakes? Do you feel like He looks down on you? You aren’t alone in these feelings. Pretty much every addict goes through them. Pretty much EVERY PERSON goes through them. When we can’t quit porn, we often believe that God condemns us for the sin. That God wants to “strike us down”.Now, I can’t speak for God, and I don’t intend to try, but I’l...2023-11-1435 minNo More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery32: Using Mindfulness to Overcome AddictionYou’ve probably heard that mindfulness helps with addiction - being present, enjoying the moment, getting in tune with your senses. But you’ve probably found it difficult to implement mindfulness in your daily life, and fail to see how using mindfulness to overcome addiction really works. I get that.Today, I’m going to talk about discoveries that I’ve made about mindfulness for recovery, as well as some universal practices that I’ve seen work for others. Before we get started, it’s important to understand that the way I teach porn addiction...2023-11-0729 minNo More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery31: Love vs. Control - Healing Marriage & Relationships | John CanaanIn this episode from the No More Desire Podcast, my friend John Canaan and I talk about overcoming the desire to control; putting aside the ego to improve marriage and relationships, overcome addictions, and just live an overall more excellent life!John hits the nail on the head, talking about specific methods to heal marriage and relationships, helping you remove ego and put your spouse first. John and I also discuss God, addiction recovery, and surrendering to Christ. John has been doing personal coaching and speaking on marriage for over 20 years now. He is truly i...2023-11-021h 03No More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery30: Overcome Social Anxiety: 5 Simple Mental TechniquesI was talking with a friend of mine the other day - a fellow recovering addict - and I was sharing about my past with addiction and how social anxiety was a big struggle in my life and actually fueled my addiction - in other words, I went to addiction in order to cope with the immense amount of nervousness and fear I felt in relationships and social situations. I told this friend that I had some mental techniques and spiritual methods that I could teach her to help her overcome social anxiety and that I could s...2023-10-2555 minNo More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery29: A Change of HeartHow do we lose the desire for addiction? Is it possible? During the decade I spent addicted to porn, I dreamed of a day I could finally be free of the chains of addiction.That I could finally have my confidence around women backThat I could finally be free of the social anxiety I suffered withThat I could finally have my motivation and drive back that pornography addiction, alcohol, and drugs had robbed from me. That I could finally be clear-headed again and get rid of the br...2023-10-181h 02No More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery28: My Conversion & Recovery Story | How I Quit Porn with God's HelpI’m going to tell you how I quit porn. I’ll talk about some very crucial turning points in my life that led to both my porn addiction recovery (and recovery from other addictions) as well as my conversion to Jesus Christ. I grew up in a Christian family - traditional Christian values, parents dedicated to their faith, very conservative. Porn, to say the least, was not considered a “normal thing to watch” in my household. At 13 years old I began looking at porn. It started slow and over the years became more and more extre...2023-10-1159 minNo More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery27: To Resist. To Accept. | A Simple, Daily Practice to Overcome Porn AddictionI received a question from one of my clients this past week about what I really mean when I say porn addiction comes from resistance, and how resistance leads to addiction. I wanted to address that question directly this week.It can be very challenging to overcome porn addiction. In part, this is because pornography addiction masks many underlying issues that are hard for us to see. Addiction is a symptom of underlying mental and emotional struggles. Many think that the way to stop porn addiction is to get an internet filter, get an accountability b...2023-10-0454 min