Shows
Ask the UnfaithfulEpisode 50: The Arousal Template: Identifying Triggers and BlindspotsIn this episode of Ask The Unfaithful, Sam and James take a deep dive into one of the most misunderstood—and most important—concepts in infidelity recovery: the Arousal Template. Too often, betrayed partners and unfaithful partners alike are left wondering: Why did this happen? Why do I keep making destructive choices? Can these unhealthy patterns ever change? This episode delivers answers—by unpacking: ✅ What the Arousal Template actually is and why it’s so critical to understand ✅ How early life experiences shape your unconscious sexual and emotional triggers ✅ Why understand...2025-07-1834 min
Podnews Weekly ReviewTurning Podcast IP into Multi-Platform RevenueWe have interviews with James Burtt from the newly-launched Pivot Productions; Liam Heffernan from Mercury Podcast Network who has just announced a new partnership with the Student Radio Association; and founder & CEO Will Malnati of At Will Media on taking IP from podcasts into other platforms.Plus - weekly podcast listening in the US has reached a staggering 773 million hours according to new data from Edison Research. This robust metric provides a more meaningful measurement than percentage reach, showing the growing intensity of podcast consumption while enabling better cross-media comparison.• Audioboom acquires UK podcast company Ad...2025-07-181h 41Ask the UnfaithfulEpisode 49: Was the Unfaithful Really in Love with the Affair Partner?In this powerful episode of Ask the Unfaithful, we unpack one of the most misunderstood emotional experiences in the aftermath of infidelity: limerence. Often confused with love, limerence is an obsessive, fantasy-fueled state that can hijack recovery and prolong betrayal. If you’ve ever felt “addicted” to your affair partner or struggled to break free—even when you know the relationship is destructive—this episode is for you. Join Sam and James as they explore: • What limerence really is (and what it’s not) • How emotional and sexual affairs can become neurologically addictive • The diff...2025-07-0330 minAsk the UnfaithfulEpisode 48: 5 Signs the Unfaithful Isn't Sorry...YetIn this powerful episode of Ask The Unfaithful, we unpack five critical signs that the unfaithful partner has not yet reached authentic, pro-active remorse. Whether you’re the one who broke trust and are unsure how to go about truly changing, or you’ve been betrayed and are searching for clarity, this episode is is packed with insight, compassion, and clear markers of where real healing begins. Together, we’ll explore what correctable issues point to a need for the unfaithful to reach a true desire to change and genuine remorse. Most importantly, you will discover what true s...2025-06-1838 minAsk the UnfaithfulEpisode 47: How Criticism Sabotages Affair RecoveryIn Episode 47 of Ask the Unfaithful, we continue the conversation from last week’s powerful session on judgment—but this time, we’re unpacking a major roadblock to healing after infidelity: criticism. Whether it’s self-criticism, perceived criticism from your partner, or full-blown judgment, this cycle quietly poisons recovery. And unless you know how to name it, reality-check it, and interrupt it, you’ll keep getting stuck in the same emotional loop—withdrawal, pursuit, shutdown, repeat. This episode is raw, practical, and packed with actual scripts and mindset shifts for unfaithful partners and couples who want to move from...2025-06-0831 minAsk the UnfaithfulEpisode 46: How Judgment Affects Affair RecoveryJudgment is one of the most hidden—but most powerful—forces keeping recovery stuck. In this episode, we take a deep dive into malignant self-judgment—the toxic inner dialogue that convinces unfaithful partners they are irredeemable, unworthy of love, and incapable of change. We explore how internalized shame, perceived judgment, and self-condemnation erode emotional safety, block empathy, and shut down intimacy. More importantly, we offer tools to help you reframe, reconnect, and rebuild—starting with how you see yourself. In this episode: • The 4 kinds of judgment in recovery (actual, perceived, internal, wise) • What makes self-j...2025-05-2232 minAsk the UnfaithfulEpisode 45: Why Are the Unfaithful So Afraid to Do Recovery Work?Fear is part of being human—but when you’ve betrayed someone you love, fear can become a wall between you and the emotional honesty your partner needs to heal. In this powerful episode, we explore how emotional inhibition, shame, and fear-based expectations keep unfaithful partners stuck—and what it takes to break through. You’ll learn how to challenge fear, dissolve shame, and start showing up with truth, vulnerability, and presence. Healing doesn’t require perfection—it requires courage, responsibility, and a willingness to risk connection again. 🔑 In this episode: • What emotional inhibition is—and how it sil...2025-05-1539 minAsk the UnfaithfulEpisode 44: What People Pleasing Does to Betrayed PartnerPeople pleasing can be described as the tendency to prioritize others’ needs over your own, often driven by fear of rejection or a need for validation. In marriages or relationships, this can mean: Constantly putting family, friends, or co-workers first. Leaving the primary partner, aka the betrayed partner, feeling like an afterthought. Post infidelity, people-pleasing is not only difficult but toxic for the entire recovery process. It oftentimes feels like yet another betrayal to the betrayed partner. When an unfaithful partner prioritizes pleasing others outside the primary relationship, the betrayed partn...2025-05-0926 min
Podnews Weekly ReviewSpotify video - we speak to Maya Prohovnik; plus Crossed Wires and podcast consumptionOur special guest this week is Maya Prohovnik, VP and Head of Podcast Products at Spotify, who joins James Cridland to share insights on Spotify's latest innovations and what’s next for podcasters on the platform.Meanwhile, industry leaders Dan Granger (Oxford Road) and Dan Misener (Bumper) have advocated for an Open Measurement Protocol for Podcasting—a call for interoperable, privacy-conscious standards and a unified taxonomy across platforms.In response, “friend of the show” John Spurlock joins Sam Sethi to introduce his proposed solution: Standard Podcast Consumption (SPC). This new data exchange format aims to facilita...2025-04-182h 28Ask the UnfaithfulEpisode 42: How Excessive Self-Protection by the Unfaithful is Toxic After Infidelity is Discovered"Imagine building a fortress so strong that not even you can leave it." In our quest as unfaithful to protect ourselves from pain, rejection, or failure, we sometimes build walls so high that they don't just keep harm out—they keep life out, AND our betrayed partners. While self-protection is a natural and often necessary response to past hurt, excessive self-protection can quietly sabotage connection, growth, and authenticity. It can also further complicate the healing process a couple must go through to save their relationship or themselves. While some self protection is healthy and strong, too...2025-04-1837 minAsk the UnfaithfulEpisode 41: Why Do the Unfaithful Take Things Personally?Why do we unfaithful take things so personally? It can feel like every ounce of feedback we receive is taken with an underlying belief that something is wrong with us, or you the betrayed are unhappy with us, or we consider ourselves worthless. Additionally, we unfaithful are masters at making every conversation about us, our feelings, our disagreeing with your concerns or our need for validation. But sadly, we were the ones who went outside the marriage and if anyone has a right to take things personally, it's the betrayed. Today, we explore a variety of both...2025-04-0435 minAsk the UnfaithfulEpisode 40: What is Toxic Negativity & What Can Be Done About It?Toxic negativity refers to a mindset or behavior where a person consistently focuses on the negative aspects of situations, people, spouses or life in general, often dismissing or disregarding any positive experiences or perspectives. It manifests as constant complaining, pessimism, and an inability or refusal to see the good in anything, including ourselves. This type of negativity can also include being excessively critical, judgmental, or even emotionally draining for those around the person displaying it, especially in the relationship attempting to heal from infidelity or addiction. Toxic negativity is massively alienating and wounding because it: Drains...2025-03-2037 min
Podnews Weekly ReviewExtra: Adam Curry and Dave Jones on the GodcasterA full version of an interview with Adam and Dave about their new product.Send James & Sam a messageSupport the showConnect With Us: Email: weekly@podnews.net Fediverse: @james@bne.social and @samsethi@podcastindex.social Support us: www.buzzsprout.com/1538779/support Get Podnews: podnews.net 2025-03-1040 minAsk the UnfaithfulEpisode 39: How Not Keeping Promises Undermines RecoveryIn the daily grind of recovery work lies the realization that even the smallest of broken promises can be a trigger to the betrayed. We the unfaithful will constantly refute the betrayed's concerns with responses like 'are you kidding me? it was just the lawns....or the trash cans....or a small bill....or one therapy session or one homework assignment from James or Sam!" We just have such a hard time as unfaithful, making the connection between broken promises and sirens going off in the heart and mind of the betrayed. "Well, if you...2025-03-0636 min
Podnews Weekly ReviewPodimo's success; and the Pod Predictor from Coleman InsightsWe speak with Morten Strunge of Podimo about the company's success in hitting one million paid subscribers; and Jay Nachlis from Coleman Insights about their testing tool, the Pod Predictor.Send James & Sam a messageSupport the showConnect With Us: Email: weekly@podnews.net Fediverse: @james@bne.social and @samsethi@podcastindex.social Support us: www.buzzsprout.com/1538779/support Get Podnews: podnews.net 2025-02-281h 34Ask the UnfaithfulEpisode 38: 6 Essentials to Maintaining Momentum in Relational RecoveryToday on the podcast, we discuss and define relational recovery while also addressing how to stay motivated as an unfaithful and how can you keep the momentum going for both the short term and long term. The fact is, it takes grit and perseverance to do relational recovery work. From moodiness to frustration, to confusion and despair, relational recovery is not for the faint of heart. You may be asking, "Does an unfaithful actually need a reminder on why to stay motivated? Don't they know what's at stake?" Yes, unfaithful need both reminders and guideposts on what they are...2025-02-2441 min
Podnews Weekly ReviewSoundStack's Rockie Thomas; and has Podcasting 2.0 failed?We chat with Rockie Thomas, who is very excited about the potential of live podcasts. And, we cover new developments in the industry, including a look at one podcast that claimed Podcasting 2.0 has failed.Send James & Sam a messageSupport the showConnect With Us: Email: weekly@podnews.net Fediverse: @james@bne.social and @samsethi@podcastindex.social Support us: www.buzzsprout.com/1538779/support Get Podnews: podnews.net 2025-02-211h 32Ask the UnfaithfulEpisode 37: Why Is the Unfaithful So Hot and Cold? Understanding the Push-Pull DynamicHave you ever wondered why the unfaithful seem so hot and cold? One minute they're pursuing the betrayed, showing signs they are 'all in.' The next minute, they seem aloof and selfish, if not downright resistant and cantankerous that anyone would ask anything of them. It's as if they protest and complain about having to do any work at all, only to appear to possibly 'get it' the next day, week or month. Traci Pedersen calls this activity “A repetitive/cyclic push-pull dynamic in a relationship that is characterized by alternating patterns of drawing a partner cl...2025-02-1135 minPodnews Weekly ReviewExtra: David Bodycombe on video for podcastsJames chats with David Bodycombe on how he produces video for Tom Scott's Lateral podcast.Send James & Sam a messageSupport the showConnect With Us: Email: weekly@podnews.net Fediverse: @james@bne.social and @samsethi@podcastindex.social Support us: www.buzzsprout.com/1538779/support Get Podnews: podnews.net 2025-02-1020 min
Podnews Weekly ReviewRiverside's AI tools; and why do video podcasting?We speak with Kendall Breitman from Riverside on their new tools; and with David Bodycombe on reasons why video podcasting is a good thing after all.Send James & Sam a messageSupport the showConnect With Us: Email: weekly@podnews.net Fediverse: @james@bne.social and @samsethi@podcastindex.social Support us: www.buzzsprout.com/1538779/support Get Podnews: podnews.net 2025-02-071h 28
Podnews Weekly ReviewEurope's podcast growth, and the podcast numbers you should knowWe speak with Andreea Coscai from EuroWaves about Europe's growth; and talk TuneIn, as well as a ton of numbersSend James & Sam a messageSupport the showConnect With Us: Email: weekly@podnews.net Fediverse: @james@bne.social and @samsethi@podcastindex.social Support us: www.buzzsprout.com/1538779/support Get Podnews: podnews.net 2025-01-311h 15Ask the UnfaithfulEpisode 36: How to Know If the Unfaithful Is Still Using the BetrayedHow do you know if the unfaithful is using the betrayed for their own insecurities or affirmation, and what are the warning signs? Do unfaithful partners actually use their partners or spouses to feel good about themselves? Sadly, the answer is yes, sometimes we do. When we're unsafe and not committed to or working any specific plan or program, we're dangerous. As one clinician says, "we are human wrecking balls, using and destroying everyone in our path." The very instance of betrayal can leave the betrayed feeling they were never really loved and were just...2025-01-2336 minAsk the UnfaithfulATU Shorts SE4: James' Journey: A Message of HopeI wrote a journal entry yesterday with no real intent and it turned out to be about my journey to where I am now. A journey I'm still on, to be sure! It isn't my chapter-by-chapter story but it highlights what the journey itself has been about - what it has taught me and how it continues to change me in ways i never expected when I started - or even part way through. I want to share it with you because I am hopeful that it can provide some hope to those of you just starting out or...2025-01-2305 min
Podnews Weekly ReviewExtra: Stuart Last, CEO, AudioboomThe full interview with Stuart Last from last Friday - including why his company is focusing on "baked-in" ad reads.Send James & Sam a messageSupport the showConnect With Us: Email: weekly@podnews.net Fediverse: @james@bne.social and @samsethi@podcastindex.social Support us: www.buzzsprout.com/1538779/support Get Podnews: podnews.net 2025-01-2015 min
Podnews Weekly ReviewSpotify goes live with its Partner Program; Audioboom's CEO Stuart LastSam and James cover the news since we last did a "real" show - including Spotify, Global Radio, and live streaming. Plus, we hear from Audioboom's CEO, Stuart Last, on the company's 2024.Send James & Sam a messageBuzzsproutStart podcasting - keep podcasting!Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.Support the showConnect With Us: Email: weekly@podnews.net Fediverse: @james@bne.social and @samsethi@podcastindex.social Support us...2025-01-171h 41Ask the UnfaithfulEpisode 35: 4 Reasons the Unfaithful Avoid Hard ConversationsWhy do we unfaithful seem so committed to avoiding hard conversations, especially those about our infidelity or addiction? Why does it feel to the betrayed, that we just can't seem to discuss anything emotionally difficult or anything that presents us in a negative, less than perfect light? The truth is, you betrayed are right, we do avoid hard conversations and are massively apprehensive to discuss our infidelity. But why do we do it? What's going on behind the scenes? This toxic avoidance of ours causes many problems for the betrayed parters, often times leaving them feeling undermined...2025-01-0937 min
Podnews Weekly ReviewLemonada Media, secureRSS, Podthon and a new Podcasting 2.0 podcastThis week, we've an interview with Jessica Cordova Cramer from Lemonada Media, who shares insights about working with Meghan Markle and David Duchovny. She reveals how their shows have exceeded expectations, with Duchovny's podcast expanding from 20 planned episodes to 31 due to its success, and discusses the company's strategy for selecting talent who have a clear purpose for their podcasts.A new approach to podcast comments is proposed, using existing RSS technology. James and Sam explain how this could simplify the process for both developers and users, while allowing podcasters to maintain control over their comment sections and...2024-12-201h 36