Shows
Bringing Education HomeS2EP5-Jan Talen-Calm Parenting: Steps to Reconnect and Thrive as a FamilyJan Talen Jan's Website Jan has been a Marriage and Family Therapist for over 35 years. She has had leadership positions in her professional organizations and church spaces on many levels, for many years and enjoyed 8 years of teaching college freshmen. She is the producer of Family Crazy to Family Calm: The DNA Way to Communicate. An online marriage and parenting program. She is a teacher and podcaster who helps you like being married and being parents together. Jan is a mom of 4 grown (and married) children. She is Grandma to 11 grandkids. Water is Jan’s fu...2024-12-2745 min
Us and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan TalenEp 122 Dad's Talking About Being Dad'sHappy Father's Day!
Although, to be truthful, Dad's are needed everyday! And so, today, we talk with 3 dads...all with 3 kids...about the highs, lows, learnings and growth they've experienced since becoming dads. Learn from them, know that you are not alone in the challenges of fatherhood. And then, upgrade in whatever ways are best for you!
Real dad on today!
~Jan2022-06-1919 min
Us and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen094 | Us & Kids: 10 Tips for Playing with KidsKids: playing, making messes, being loud and noisy! Really it could just give us adults all a headache. Or could we relax as we realize how important play is for our bodies - and our brains. At any age! Listen in and have fun playing. It's the most important work of a kiddos and the ongoing crucial activity for us ...with kids!2021-06-2125 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen093 | Us & Kids: 10 Tips for Summer HealthSo today we're going to start a series of 10 Tips. Our first topic will be about summer health.
And then, the next 5 weeks we will include tips for playing - with kids and as adults, tips about intimacy, talking, and listening well.
And - there's a contest using these tips as we close in on Episode 100! Listen in, look at the Usandkidspodcast Facebook page, this podcast transcript or the Us and Kids website for details!
But for right now you might be thinking “why do we need a tip for summer health?” Because the heat can reall...2021-06-1418 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen092 | Us & Kids: A’s of AngryToday we're going to talk about the letter A. We're going to start by talking about anger and then add other A words that both lead away from anger in a negative way or in a more sad way and lead away from anger into a more healthy or appealing way. So first, we have to start by talking about anger.
I talk often with my clients about the idea that anger is energy. It's emotional energy that really wants to have influence in some space or another and often it can show up in an explosive...2021-06-0820 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen091 | Us & Kids: 42 Years of Marriage - Part 2On today’s show, we are talking about how my marriage has lasted 42 years and one week. Last week was my 42nd anniversary to my husband Chip. We have known each other for 45 years and so I took a little walk back through history. I looked at it through the lens of our program that we use to help you guys called the Us...and Kids Communication Program. In this program we used the DNA method of communicating.
This program helps us look at our desires, use the necessary skills that we need and how we apply the...2021-06-0221 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen090 | Us & Kids: 42 Years of MarriageI have a little announcement today.
The date of this is podcast being released is the 42nd anniversary of my marriage to my husband, Chipper. You're right, usually we call him Chip. I get to call him Chipper. Anyways, I thought well, what happens if I take a little walk back in time and think about “how have we lasted this long?”.
Maybe you think that I better be married forever...after all I am a marriage and family therapist so I better know how to stay married.
And, yes, so far we have done it...2021-05-2528 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen089 | Us & Kids: Empathy EnergyOn today’s show, we are using the DNA method to explore empathy. We are going to need to Define our desires or a dream. And that means today my dream or my desire is being emotionally connected with my family and with other people in very kind ways. What is my N, my necessary skill? Today is going to be about empathy. And the A is, how are we going to apply it? Empathy, yes for anyone in our family.
In order for everyone to get on the same page we need to know exactly what we...2021-05-1727 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen088 | Us & Kids: Imagination and ConfidenceOn today’s show, our topic is all about using our imagination to build confidence. This is a timeless podcast because we whether we are adults and kids, we are always encountering new things. And we can either become scared and a little shaky or unsure of ourselves, losing our confidence or we can be confident of ourselves and what we are able to do.
Imagination plays a significant role in building up and maintaining confidence. Let’s talk, first of all, about what do I mean by imagination? I think using our imagination is using our brai...2021-05-1024 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen087 | Us & Kids: Truth or LieOn today’s show, we're going to talk about being honest. Now, honesty can come in many forms, right? Honest to ourselves, honest with others, honest about our emotions. When you hear the word honest, or when someone says to you, "Oh come on, be honest!" how do you respond?
Are there different levels of honesty? Because then, that begs the question about are there different levels of lies? And what do you want to teach your kids about being honest and about lying? The two conversations sort of go together, don't they?2021-05-0320 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen086 | Us & Kids: Anxiety and BreathingOn today’s show, we’re going to talk about anxiety. Anxiety is, physiologically, a sense of overwhelming concern, or worry when there doesn't seem to be a good way to resolve a situation and even if it's resolved, there's a worry about what about next time? So it's a worry about things in the future and the unknown things that we don't have control over.
Sometimes we don't know exactly what we are worried about. We can just feel that concern running around in our head all the time. So, let’s talk about what to do wit...2021-04-2619 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen085 | Us & Kids: How Can I Help?On today’s show, we're talking about, "How can I help?" Or, "How can I support?" So, we're going to work our way through the word SUPPORT in an acronym sort of way. This time we are going to look at each letter briefly from both: What if you're looking for support, what would you do?; And, if you're offering support, or being asked to support someone, or help someone, what's your best way to respond? What skill is usually best in that situation?
You know hanging around good people 24/7, living with people, is not always easy. But...2021-04-1920 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen084 | Us & Kids: EncourageIt takes a lot of courage to stay married forever while you parent together and it also takes a lot of encouragement to do that. The DNA method of communication often talks about this need for having courage and that encouragement to plays an important role in helping someone build up their courage. We know this is worth the work; being married forever while you parent together is so very rewarding.
So today I just wanted to talk a little bit about how do we help each other? How do we encourage each other? What does that...2021-04-1219 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen083 | Us & Kids: In CourageCourage...have you used yours all up??
Sometimes we have to “just do it” - and it doesn’t really matter if we feel courageous...we have to do it anyways.
So, what components of courage did you use to make it through, even when you were totally out of courage??
And if you wanted to be more courageous, or help your kiddo be OK with change and adventure - what part of character, personality or behavior do you want to focus on and develop?
This podcast will answer those great questi...2021-04-0720 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen082 | Us & Kids: EASTEROn today’s show, we're going to talk about Easter. But, we're also going to fit that into our desires, and the skills that we need to achieve our desires. This is not a highly spiritual, Christian podcast in terms of that we're not going to talk all about the Jesus part of it. We're going to talk about the good human health part of it. We can make it so that it also works with everyday life, and how does it fit into your spiritual life.
We are going to break down the word Easter. And, we...2021-03-2931 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen081 | Us & Kids: A TraumaOn today’s show, we are going to talk about trauma. Not many of us like to think about it, but probably all of us have it. And trauma impacts families, it impacts marriages and impacts us as individuals. And yet I feel like it’s not very often talked about even though it often impacts how a family and a couple reacts and interacts with things.
Today we are going to talk mostly from the general perspective about trauma with a little bit of application more towards the end. You will hear some of the DNA proc...2021-03-2323 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen080 | Us & Kids: Adjusting to a NewbornSo today’s show, we are going to talk a little bit more about the DNA process. We’ve been talking a lot about marriages lately and when I wanted to do was say, okay, let’s pay attention to those kiddos. So we’re just going to talk a little bit about one of your hopes and dreams.
If you’re listening to Us and Kids, you probably had a desire to have a family, and that’s part of what that D is in the DNA. What are your dreams? What are your desires and help underst...2021-03-1622 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen079 I Us and Kids: A+ for ApplicationToday I'm glad you joined us becausewe are tying together the last threepodcasts aboutupgrading your marriage so that it will last forever, while you also become more awesome parents taking care of your kids together.
We've talked about the D: Defining your desires and values. Then we moved onto two other podcasts that talked about the N: Necessary core comunication skills that we need for living out those values in ways that hold relationships together.
And today we're going to take those values, add a Necessary core skill to them and then I'll give you an...2021-03-0835 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen078 | Us & Kids: Necessary for Your Core - Part 2Today we are talking about the last three of the eight core or necessary pieces that we know to make the DNA in our marriage and our family life really strong and healthy. You and I both know our marriages are very unique. And even how our marriage was five years ago and how it is now also can be very different and looks very different.
Its important that we know how to keep those values together. Not every marriage, or person in the marriage has the same values but learning how to value what our spouse...2021-03-0121 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen077 I Us & Kids: Necessary Core StrengthsLast week we looked at the values that we bring into our relationship and how those values build up the basic structure of our relationships with our kids or even with our spouses. So today we’re going to look a little bit more at the particulars that hold this structure together.
This structure is in the particulars were going to talk about are important for your marriage and for any age kiddo that is sitting next to you. So this applies all the way around has lots and lots of applications so it’s really worth hang...2021-02-2222 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen076 | Us & Kids: Best Marriage EverIn today’s show, we are focusing on building up the skills we need for helping our marriages and our families regardless of the messiness of life. Today we are going to talk about DNA and we are looking at DNA within your relationships, your marriage, and your family because that too is always going to be unique just to you and so we can’t make a course or a program that is going to be one size fits all.
This week we are diving into the D strand specifically and while the D strand could stan...2021-02-1526 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen075 | Us & Kids: Shame, Responsibility and HonorOn today’s show, we are diving into shame and responsibility and it’s going to apply both to you as a husband or wife, and how you interact with your kiddos. We’re going to start by talking about yourself because so much of our parenting and interactions in our marriage can come from a place of shame and that can be somewhat contagious.
The podcast today will help you understand where shame sneaks into your heart and mind...and how it sneaks into kiddos’ being as well. And then, we’ll help you gain a pathway ou...2021-02-0921 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen074 | Us & Kids: KISSes & StressOn today’s show, we are wrapping up the last part of a 5 part series we started in January about how to stay married forever while you parent together - not one or the other. Today we are talking about KISSes. Of course, there has to be kisses! Eskimo and butterfly kisses, as well as I love you - oooh! kisses.
But when there is stress and headaches, so much and too much! Who even remembers to kiss? And, does it really matter if we kiss? Really? Well, if you can take care of this kind of KI...2021-02-0121 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen073 | Us & Kids: Explore and ExpandWe are carrying on with the series that we’ve been going through each week in January about how to have a fresh start after 2020. So today, we’re on chapter 4 and we’re talking about exploring and expanding because a part of building strong relationships is that the courage to be with each other and by each other to try new things to experience things together.
Because it expands the way that you are connected so that if one of the connection points isn’t as strong, there’s another one that counterbalances it that is. So this fo...2021-01-2820 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen072 | Us & Kids: Routines Reduce OverwhelmOn today’s show, we are carrying on with our series that we kicked off 2021 with. This series is about how to reset from the mess of 2020. This week we are going to talk about routine and overwhelm. How do routines help settle down the overwhelm and what to do when the routines aren’t working. Because it’s true, sometimes they don’t work.
Next week we are going to talk about exploring ideas that help to expand possibilities. And how do we have more courage to look up and around and say what else can I do, wh...2021-01-1926 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen071 I SET for CalmnessCalm is a four letter word, you know! And we all know the frustration in trying to feel, be and experience calm when life is anything but calm!
So, three actions that can settle the noise, energy and tension down, no matter if it is within your self or in your household. They are not always easy to do - but once you do them, they will be so worth the effort and energy.
And, once you do these 3 things, your kids and family will like it so much, they will do them too!
Jo...2021-01-1124 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen070 | Us & Kids: Intentions on PurposeOn today’s show, we are starting out the year by talking about marriage. When we developed the Us and Kids platform, and later the DNA for Fun Communications Course, we wanted to really be able to encourage these two places (marriage and parenting) in the same place...because being married forever while you parent together is crucial to being married forever.
We know based on studies that the fractures in a marriage come in the first 5 years of parenting, not the first 5 years of marriage. That is because in the first 5 years of parenting there have to...2021-01-0522 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen069 | Us & Kids: Mary, Marry, and MerryIt’s just past Christmas day...and like most other traditions and truths there is a fabulous story to go along with this tradition of Christmas. So, today instead of teaching and guiding you into spaces about being your best self, parent or partner/spouse, I want to encourage you to relax, listen to this story, with all the applications for your life today.
For those of you who know the details to this story, I am skipping a few of them in the interest of time and the focus of this podcast. I am leaving some sp...2020-12-2826 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen068 | Us & Kids: Gifts for Everyone - For Real!On today’s show, we are talking about finding ways to end the year well. When we feel that in many ways this year has been bumpy, there have been anticipations and disappointment and adjustments that just seem nonstop. Sure there has been good, but there’s also been struggle and tension.
Last week we talked about anticipation and how the biblical wise men had to make changes and pivots and they were tired too but that they ended up in a really good spot. This week we are going to continue on with those wisemen and that...2020-12-2314 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen068 | Us & Kids: Gifts for EveryoneOn today’s show, we are talking about finding ways to end the year well. When we feel that in many ways this year has been bumpy, there have been anticipations and disappointment and adjustments that just seem nonstop. Sure there has been good, but there’s also been struggle and tension.
Last week we talked about anticipation and how the biblical wise men had to make changes and pivots and they were tired too but that they ended up in a really good spot. This week we are going to continue on with those wisemen and that...2020-12-2119 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen067 | Us & Kids: Anticipation and HopeOn today’s show, we are talking about anticipation. This can be a negative or positive word depending on if we are expecting the best and good or expecting and planning on something unpleasant or undesired. Anticipation is often harder when it is something we can not control.
How can you build a pleasant expectation even when what you thought was going to be the real deal, was not? The ability to pivot...until you are dizzy is thought of as fun, exciting, challenging. And this is fun, when YOU are the person in charge. Not so much f...2020-12-1419 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen066 | Us & Kids: KIDS - DefinedOn today’s show, we’re going to talk about kids. Yes, those little monkey’s that climb all over your furniture. Those little things that spill and don't seem to care or wonder why you do so much. Sometimes it feels like we need instructions on how to manage these energetic ones.
We’re going to break this up into 4 levels and talk about each one. These will apply to each kiddo no matter how old they are - these are universal truths. Join in together so we can say, what is our next best step?2020-12-0725 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen065 | Us & Kids: DAD DefinedHey Dad! Do you love those words, ignore them (because you are not a Dad), or cringe to be bothered once again?
Being a Dad throughout this year has come with a set of challenges that no one really could have predicted. So, let's just go back and review what are some of those basic qualities for steller (or at least good) Dad-ness.
D.A.D builds out a clearer picture of how to end this year - with your Dad hat on - tall, strong and proud!
PS - Wait, you're not a D...2020-12-0125 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen064 | Us & Kids: ThanksgivingSo, it's Thanksgiving week! A week to give thanks for all the good things that we have in our life. Perhaps, if you're lucky, you get to go Black Friday shopping, or Cyber Monday shopping!
But, for some of us, this year has been anything but thankful. It has hard challenges, death, loneliness, loss of income, fear of the unknown, and a new sense of things we cannot control and the unsettling emotions that come with it. Let's talk about both of these today: Grief and the Gratefulness blended together. 2020-11-2418 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen063 I Marriage Forever Happily TogetherOn today’s show, we’re going to talk about happy hour. Now you might think “Happy Hour? I have to leave the house for that and I haven’t done that in months!” My question is: “Could there be a happy hour at your house? How's the happy hour at your house? Or, is there no happy hour? How about a happy minute? Or is it just to make it through the day???”
But, the question becomes, what is happy? We know that usually it is listed as an emotion. But emotions are fleeting, finicky, and temperamental. M...2020-11-1728 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen062 | Us & Kids: Clean Your FridgeOn our show today, refridgerators are the topic of conversation! We know that cleaning them is usually not much fun - too much to move, touch and decide about!
And much our life, when we look through what we have, want and need to throw away, and clean up the messes that have been lurking all around, we all feel better!
So, enjoy these thoughts about refridge cleaning - and about ourselves-cleaning! 2020-11-0920 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen061 | Us & Kids: WisdomOn today’s show, we are talking about something that each one of us at some point in our life or another thinks “That wasn’t the wisest thing I could have done.” So we are going to talk about wisdom. What are the qualities in it and how do we continue to grow it?
We will break down wisdom as an adult and how to develop wisdom in your kiddo. What aspects of wisdom do you think you have? Listen in to learn how to grow more of it yourself...and how to help instill wisdom in your...2020-11-0224 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen060 | Us & Kids: Salty EmotionsOn today’s show, we are talking about salt and emotions, and what does one have to do with the other? So let’s just think for a minute about salt. It’s been around for ever and ever, and so have emotions. It has a variety of uses, some are wonderful and some of them are rather icky - and that’s true for emotions as well.
There are a million uses for salt and some might say there are a million and one uses for emotions. And some of us would say there are a million...2020-10-2717 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen059 | Us & Kids: ID and Personality DevelopmentOn today’s show, we are talking about how to parent healthy children - emotionally healthy children. This is not so much about the food that we feed them, although we know what we feed them impacts their moods and behaviours. And, it’s not about your marriage relationship, although we know that the healthier the marriage in general, the healthier the kiddos.
There are emotional stages that a child goes through - well into adulthood too, that we can impact and as we do, our kiddos develop the skills that impact their character development and the way...2020-10-1927 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen05 I Pregnancy and LossLosing a little one before you have time to hug, hold, play and watch grow is one of the hardest things that a parent (or your friend) may ever have to do.
Listen in as I share insights from my friend and expert in this area of loss, Nancy Kingma. She has worked with grieving parents for over 40 years in many capacities and shares her knowledge with us through a conversation that I recorded (and revisit) with you today. It will help you. It will help you help your friends.
Share this episode with those you k...2020-10-1327 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen057 | Us & Kids: Muscles and EmotionsOn today’s show, we are going to talk one more time about emotions - in comparison to our muscles. We’ve been talking a lot about emotions - and EQ - that emotional intelligence. You’ve probably noticed that we have a variety of muscles and rely on them everyday.
We also want you to have a good variety of emotions that you use everyday. So, make a short list of the emotions that you experience each day for a week and see what you notice. Be sure to use the printable or the internet to see wh...2020-10-0632 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen056 | Us & Kids: EQ, Marriage and KidsOn today’s show, we have my friend and fellow marriage professional Mark VanDellen, who is going to talk to us about the six things we need for getting our marriage started well and keeping it running smoothly.
Mark works a lot with pre-marriages and new marriages and helping them get off on the right foot. He shares with us the key indicators that he looks for and identifies when looking at the path for future marriages.2020-09-3038 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen055 | Us & Kids: EQ and You - How to Become More Emotionally SmartOn today’s show, we have my good friend and fellow marriage professional Mark VanDellen joining us. He knows all about emotional intelligence and we are going to talk all about how to become more emotionally smart.
This impacts our marriages and parenting in such wonderful ways when we use it well. Join Mark and myself for a great interview, conversation about emotional intelligence and how it interacts with both our marriages and our kiddos.2020-09-2233 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen054 | Us & Kids: SpeechlessnessFor today’s show, things felt a little different in the fact that I felt like I had nothing to say. But once I dove into the “I have nothing to say”, my brain dove into the feeling that I have all sorts of things to say.
Ever been speechless? Stunned...or shamed into silence? So tired you can not make a sentence? Or over thinking something without a clear thought or direction at all? What creates those moments? What should we do with them? How do we find words or expressions that actually free us up withou...2020-09-1515 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen053 | Us & Kids: Parenting RefresherOn today’s show, we are going to talk about our kiddos and come at it from the angle of parenting. We have to make sure we understand what is happening as our kiddos make this adjustment into school.
The kids might be a few weeks into school and this might be a time where things start to crumble. So I am here to give you a bit of encouragement that you can pass on to them. We talked a little bit about this in previous episodes and now we are going to do a little refresher.2020-09-0822 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen052 | Us & Kids: Keys To Your Car & RelationshipsOn today’s show, we are taking a little more lighthearted approach and we’re talking about keys. More specifically talking about car keys but we will start out with just keys in general. We use keys for things like our home, car, maybe a bike lock, but what do they have to do with a relationship anyways?
A key by itself without a lock or something to go into, is not usually of much value. We find loose keys around the house and they eventually get thrown because they are for something we don’t have or use...2020-09-0114 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen051 | Us & Kids: Back to SchoolOn today’s show, we are talking about the big topic of going back to school. I know going back to school for our kids right now and for us parents just feels daunting and weird. I'm sure by now you have looked through what your schools are offering and what the choices are for online versus in person.
Remember that the best thing you can do for your kiddo, no matter where they're going, is to be supportive of them. You are the best buffer for them against the stress they are going to feel in ma...2020-08-2522 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen050 | Us & Kids: Top 5 Podcasts in ReviewOn today’s show, we’re going to do something a little bit different. We have gone through all of our podcast episodes and picked the top 5. In the beginning of this podcast we talked about the first 5 years of married life and then progressed into the first 5 years after having kiddos. The theme seems to be the number 5 so we chose our 5 favorites to review.
It’s been almost a year since Us and Kids became real. And part of our growth and joy has been in putting together a podcast with a printable each week. So, we...2020-08-1831 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen049 | Us & Kids: Regression & Stress with KidsOn today’s show, we are talking all about regression and stress. These can be really scary and overwhelming words. Knowing the why, the where and the what-to-do can really help settle down the worry that comes with regressing.
Regression is usually when someone or something goes back(wards) to something that used to be. A kiddo might regress to fighting bedtime, or bathroom use, or baby talk. We usually regress when we are scared - in big or small ways.2020-08-1227 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen048 | Us & Kids: Goals, Depression and Real LifeOn today’s show, we are talking about depression and how that affects our lives. Depression can make us feel really dead. Not like dead as in not alive, but dead alive but not able to engage in life. So our lungs can breathe and our heart can beat. But our brain can hardly think and our body can hardly move.
It's just not a fun place to be. No one wakes up in the morning thinking today I'll be depressed. It is heavy, and about it as impossible to stop as a car running over you. In...2020-08-0426 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen047 | Us & Kids: Conflict ResolutionOn today’s show, we are talking about conflict resolution and what it looks like in parenting and marriage. Conflict resolution is a mouthful of ideas, experiences, emotions and words! No wonder it’s so hard to figure a way out of it. No wonder we want to just run from it.
Are you tired of fighting about the same things over and over again? What if we turned it upside down and looked first at ourselves, then at the problem and then at the other person. Would that create a better solution...maybe even a longer-lasting solu...2020-07-3033 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen046 | Us & Kids: Goal SettingOn today’s show, we are talking about goals and setting goals. We go into how to do that and why to do that, and if that’s even possible when you’re raising kids and trying to stay married. A lot of times our goal might just be to make it through the day.
When I think of goals we can sometimes think about sports and scoring a goal, but also what a team might have had to do to reach a goal. Communication, team work, agreement and consistency are all important aspects of setting and achiev...2020-07-2229 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen045 | Us & Kids: Big Emotions and KidsOn today’s show, we are talking about big emotions in our kids. Last week, in episode 44, we talked about the adult brain and big emotions. There we split the brain into spaces where the emotions develop and where the feelings develop.
Today we are focusing more on the emotional space because our kiddos are still developing their brains and so, where we can impact, for better mental health, our kiddo’s brains, it is wise and good for us and for them, to do so.2020-07-1523 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen044 | Us & Kids: Big Emotions for AdultsOn today’s show, we are talking about feelings - a pretty normal part of our life. At some points over our life and even 2020, we have ones we don’t really know what to do with. Where do those big feelings come from? Some of us have them a lot and often, and some of us have them rarely so when they show up we’re thinking “Where did this come from?”
This week we are talking about our emotions and next week we will talk about our kiddos. When we understand some of the triggers that might...2020-07-1023 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen044 | Us & Kids: Big Emotions for AdultsOn today’s show, we are talking about feelings - a pretty normal part of our life. At some points over our life and even 2020, we have ones we don’t really know what to do with. Where do those big feelings come from? Some of us have them a lot and often, and some of us have them rarely so when they show up we’re thinking “Where did this come from?”
This week we are talking about our emotions and next week we will talk about our kiddos. When we understand some of the triggers that might...2020-07-1023 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen044 | Us & Kids: Big Emotions for AdultsOn today’s show, we are talking about feelings - a pretty normal part of our life. At some points over our life and even 2020, we have ones we don’t really know what to do with. Where do those big feelings come from? Some of us have them a lot and often, and some of us have them rarely so when they show up we’re thinking “Where did this come from?”
This week we are talking about our emotions and next week we will talk about our kiddos. When we understand some of the triggers that might...2020-07-0930 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen043 | Us & Kids: BoundariesOn today’s show, we are talking all about boundaries. It’s hard to believe that half of 2020 is done! Do you just feel overrun? The kids do what they want, don’t want to do what you want them to do...and cooperation is at someone else’s house...certainly not yours! So, what to do?
Do you just give up - Oh my and oh well….maybe we’ll reset next year? I am not sure it’s worth the argument and fight and tension. The easy way out is their way, even if it’s not a good way...2020-06-3030 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen042 | Us & Kids: Father’s DayOn today’s show, our topic is about fathers. I know Father's Day just passed last week and so we just wanted to let you keep thinking about it. There can be a lot of pressure around dads. And sometimes it's important to understand “What's my role in this?”. So I wonder what do you think, is being a dad great? Is having your husband next to you, as the dad, wonderful? Or are you both as husband and wife a little confused by what's the role of a dad?
Some people think it’s easier than being a...2020-06-2320 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen041 | Us & Kids: Hole in the BucketOn today’s show, we're talking about a hole in our bucket. I'm curious, do you know this song? It's about two characters - Henry and Eliza. Henry has a leaky bucket and Eliza just wants him to fix it. The song describes a deadlock situation where the things you need are dependent on the things you currently don’t have.
My question for you is, are there decisions made in your house that sounds like this song. Is there one parent who always needs something done or fixed and just wants it finished now? Does the othe...2020-06-1615 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen040 | Us & Kids: Doughnut DayOn today’s show, we’re going to talk about donuts. What does National Doughnut Day have to do with being married forever while you parent together? National donut day is on June 5th or the first Friday of June every year. Interestingly enough it comes out of the Salvation Army sending donuts throughout the camp during WWI, and the troops would enjoy a taste of home that brought encouragement and emotional support and joy.
Now you’re probably wondering, what does this have to do with our joy of eating donuts in our everyday life? We’re going...2020-06-0918 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen039 | Us & Kids: D is for DivorceIs it possible to keep sweet love alive for a lifetime?
Is it possible to move from sweet to sour and back again?
Or to make a really stale and stagnant relationship significant and supportive again?
So many questions - with lots of answers via a story that made its way from sweet to sour and stale and back to sweet again!
On today’s show we are talking about the D seed of divorce. When does this snarly seed get planted - and how can we weed it out before it o...2020-06-0120 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen039 | Us & Kids: D is for DivorceIs it possible to keep sweet love alive for a lifetime?
Is it possible to move from sweet to sour and back again?
Or to make a really stale and stagnant relationship significant and supportive again?
So many questions - with lots of answers via a story that made it’s way from sweet to sour and stale and back to sweet again.
On today’s show we are talking about the D seed of divorce. When does this snarly seed get planted - and how can we weed it out before...2020-06-0120 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen038 | Us & Kids: Grief in a ChildOn today’s show, the topic we're talking about today isn't necessarily a really happy one. But it's a rather common one. And the topic is about grief or loss for a child and how they experience it, but also how we can help them develop skills to get through it. We usually think we know what grief means to us or other adults we know, but it might look a lot different to the kids in our life.
To children, the loss or grief happens because someone or something precious is gone out of their life, ei...2020-05-2729 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen037 | Us & Kids: Angsty = Anger and AnxietyOn today’s show, we are doing things a bit differently. We aren’t going to focus on our marriage, nor are we going to talk about parenting much. What we are going to be diving into is us, and how that can inevitably affect our partner and kids.
It can be hard during this time to not get stuck in the spinning circle of that anxiety and then being angry for feeling anxious. We want to make sure that we manage our emotions and that our emotions aren’t managing us. When we are more intentional about...2020-05-2122 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen036 | Us & Kids: Uncertainty Can Make us CrazyOn today’s show, let’s be certain about what we’re talking about - uncertainty. There is so much going on and changing every day in our homes, our hearts and our relationships. We are told one thing and then what feels like almost instantly that answer changes.
Do we just have to sit and spin in circles because nothing's for sure? Or is there a way to keep ourselves calm and keep on track? When we take the time to understand that we can’t control everything, it helps us regain strength to move forward with wha...2020-05-1137 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen035 | Us & Kids: How Velcro Helps Us Be Better ParentsOn today’s show, we're moving on to part two of this two part series. In the last podcast, we were talking about Velcro. We talked about how to be connected with your spouse, and about how to clean up those connections in case being velcro’d together isn't working very well. Sometimes there are too many fuzzies and other things that are blocking the good connections.
We're going to continue that today, but today we're going to talk about bonding or Velcro connections with our kids. How do we make sure that our kids are really gett...2020-05-0518 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen034 | Us & Kids: Velcro and Marriage: Cleaning Up Marriage LoveOn today’s show, we're going to talk about Velcro and about staying connected. So I have a question. Do you think your home life can just naturally get better without any outside support? I know that you keep on trying this thing and then that thing and there's two steps forward and there's one step back.
Each time we know you're trying to improve the connections with your kiddos and your spouse and often it can just feel like a moving target. I hope that for the next two weeks while we talk about bonding and co...2020-04-2827 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen033 | Us & Kids: How to Feel Loved While Sitting on the CouchOn today’s show, we are talking about couches, couples and connecting. After a long day at work or maybe endless hours together at home, it can feel easy to grab your phone and sit down next to each other on the couch. This time is better than nothing, right? Or could these little actions be doing more harm than good?
If we create habits like these in our everyday lives they might become a crutch for us to turn to instead of our spouse in times when we need real emotional support. We don’t have to a...2020-04-2121 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen032 | Us & Kids: Dismiss Depression, Negative Nonsense and AnxietyOn today’s show, we are going to be keeping up with topics that are timely with everything going on. We are talking about what is happening in your home, with what is working or not working to keep those relationships together when we are all together so very much. It’s easy for strong overwhelming emotions to take over us during this time.
Some of our worries and our anxiety can be taken on by our partners and kiddos if we’re not careful. One of the best ways we can become more aware of our feelin...2020-04-1419 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen031 | Us & Kids: What the T? Get What You Need Without YellingOn today’s show, we are going to be discussing things that are affecting the entire world right now. In times of crisis and uncertainty, it can be easy for us to get ourselves worked up and use certain slang out of fear. I am going to talk all about the “T” words you can use to replace a not so friendly “F” word in our “What the ____” sentences.
There are things we can do during this time to be intentional with our spouse family while we are in such close quarters. It can be easy to get on each ot...2020-04-0915 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen030 | Us & Kids: Falling in Love, Not into AnxietyOn today’s show, we are taking it back to the times and memories of when you and your partner first fell in love. What were those feelings like? What about them made your heart skip a beat? So many things in our lives can cause anxiety, especially with everything that is going on in the world right now.
If we take the time to reminisce on the things our partner did or the things about them we loved, those chemicals in our brain can help combat some of that anxiety. We might be trying to find a...2020-04-0221 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen029 | Us & Kids: Perspective, Childhood Beliefs, and Generating Change: AdultsOn today’s show, we talk about all the changes that we have to make. How do we make them and stay an adult? Sometimes there are so many changes. They come at us so fast that just even the change of what's for supper can tip us over. We wonder how that can happen? Why can't I just stay self composed for that little thing?
This shouldn't be such a big deal. Well, sometimes we have these thoughts, right that everything goes wrong. Even when we're adults, and it can be a fairly common thought when th...2020-03-2628 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen028 | Us & Kids: Helping Kids Adjust to Life ChangesOn today’s show, we're going to talk about adjusting to life changes and what happens to our kids. We all know, life changes and usually not when we want it to. And, if we have littles, then life changes for them too. And, what might be a good change for mom and dad might seem like chaos and disconnections for our little ones.
Every little milestone that our kiddos achieve or strive for often comes with a lot of hard times in their little minds. All of the things that come simply and easily to us ar...2020-03-1817 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen027 | Us & Kids: The Nap - Sleeping, Depression and Your HealthOn today’s show, we are talking about the good old fashion nap. You know, the one during the day that isn’t quite those long overnight sleeps? We are going to cover the why, the when and also talk a bit about the depression or oversleeping.
We all know how amazing a good nap can feel, but we often forget some of the amazing benefits that come with napping when our bodies need it most. As long as we understand when we should or shouldn’t nap, we can often wake up feeling like a whole new pe...2020-03-1116 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen026 | Us & Kids: Taking Time for Ourselves and Our Spouse With a New BabyOn today’s show, this is going to be an interesting episode especially if you are a new parent. We are going to be talking about infancy and adding an infant to our lives and family. It’s not always an easy adjustment to bring a little one home. People like to think about all the great and fun things that come with a new baby arriving.
But we also have to remember that it's hard, it's tiring, and we usually don’t know what’s going on. We usually don’t really know how to care for this n...2020-03-0418 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen025 | Us & Kids: Befriending Your AnxietyOn today’s show, we are talking about all things anxiety! How do we get it? How do we handle it? What do we do when we freeze and can hardly think? How does anxiety affect our kiddos and what does it look like in them?
Our bodies naturally work to protect us from danger. Although the dangers our bodies recognize now are a lot different than they used to be, our nervous system still kicks in to send out that adrenaline. With all that adrenaline pumping through our bodies, we can be left with overwhelming emotions an...2020-02-2625 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen024 | Us & Kids: P is for P.A.R.E.N.T. (or How to Encourage our Kids to Gain Courage)On today’s show, we are going to talk about what it means to be a parent. We all have different things come to mind when we think about what it’s like to be a parent. Some people think exhaustion, others might think encouraging, challenging, or funny.
There are so many different approaches to parenting because we all have different personalities. Parenting also might look different for people because of the kiddo’s they are parenting. As we work our way into through the letter in PARENT we will find some many reminders that being a good p...2020-02-1922 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen023 | Us & Kids: How to Become Bilingual in the Love LanguagesOn today’s show, we are learning how your brain best receives love so that it can sink into your heart and being is good to know - and good for others to know. Of course - you would also then want to know what language your spouse speaks so that you can clearly and deeply communicate your deep love for them in a way that they easily understand.
Did you know that love can have many different languages? And that you and your spouse and other family members can all speak a different language? Don’t be o...2020-02-1223 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen022 | Us & Kids: Keeping the Crud of Everyday Living From Overwhelming Your RelationshipsLike an entryway rug, our relationship gets daily use and can easily get beat up and looking pretty ratty. But, with some attention to daily details, your relationships can stay strong, steady and even pretty. Join us for great ways to keep track of memories, stay positive and keep the crud of everyday living from overwhelming the great relationship that you and your family have.2020-02-0514 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen021 | Us & Kids: How to Clean Up What's Under the Rug in our RelationshipsOn today’s show, the question is, have you looked around your house, your garage, or your bedroom lately? Have you thought, what a mess? I sure wish someone would clean this up. Well, I'm not here to help you right now with cleaning those things up in the physical sense, but I am interested in wondering with you about what do we do when we look around our relationships.
Sometimes the holidays in December can bring to light the tensions of the past year and things that have gotten stuffed under a rug. So let's be br...2020-01-2923 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen020 | Us & Kids: The Power of More Light to Feel Right in Darker MonthsOn today’s show, we're talking about something most people like to avoid talking about—depression. Depression can affect many of us for so many reasons and in so many different ways. The reason depression leaves us feeling a variety of different emotions from sluggish to sadness or even loneliness is because of the serotonin levels in our brain. Serotonin is a hormone that brings us happiness, pleasure and that upbeat feeling.
Many of us are also affected by Seasonal Affective Disorder or SAD due to the gloomy weather, lack of sunshine or grey skies we see a lo...2020-01-2423 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen019 | Us & Kids: REsolutions, not ResolutionsOn today’s show, even though we are 14 days into the new year, are we still thinking and talking about resolutions? So much has happened this year already that whatever I was energized for on December 31, 2019 is long, long gone!
But, what if we think about resolutions in a different way - that doesn’t have this winner/loser message in it? What if we think about it in a way that let’s us be creative, make small changes that bring about good wins and successes?2020-01-1524 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen018 | Us & Kids: Sleep, Please! Sleep.On today’s show, in honor of National Sleep Day, we'll take some time to remember why sleep is so important. And why getting to sleep can be so tricky—for us adults, who have practiced sleeping for many, many hours—to our littles who are not very great at it just yet.
Physical and emotional connections play a significant role in turning your brain down and letting the delightful weirdness of sleep move in. Enjoy—even in your dreams!2020-01-0817 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen017 | Us & Kids: How to Have Remarkable Courage in Difficult YearsOn today’s show, we are celebrating the last day of the year as we bring in the New Year. It’s often hard not to get up in the “year in review” mode when we get to the end of the year. It can be important to look back and see where we have been and how far we’ve come.
Sometimes, though, we might have some difficult or painful things that happened to us this past year that are hard to relive.2020-01-0109 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen016 | Us & Kids: Reducing stress and creating great memories around gift giving and gettingOn today’s show, Christmas is right around the corner, so for many of us presents are on our minds. Are you ready? Are the presents wrapped? Or has frazzled and weary got your heart and mind? Does staying home to sleep sound so much better than playing - even if it is with your favorite people?
Taking care of gifts and having any energy left to enjoy the occasion can be a tough and tiring balance. Have a listen to today’s podcast for some ideas on how to help you and your kiddos with the prese...2019-12-2517 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen015 | Us & Kids: Raising our Kids is Messy, Like Building Gingerbread HousesOn today’s show, we're talking about how raising our kids is like building gingerbread houses. There are so many fun, messy and challenging parts of building a gingerbread house around the holidays. A lot can also be said about the fun, messy and challenging times that we go through when we raise our little ones.
As our kids grow and go through different phases, there are little tidbits we can take away from how to handle situations. Sometimes we might need to be still, quiet and just support, while other times we may need to overlook th...2019-12-1819 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen014 | Us & Kids: DNA for F.U.N.On today’s show, we’re talking about how relationships can be tricky and just when we think we’ve figured them out they grow and change. So many of us want to feel that our relationships are steady, dependable and predictable.
We often think of DNA as who we are genetically but what if we thought about who we are as individuals and partners in our relationships.2019-12-1118 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen013 | Us & Kids: Lost and FoundOn today’s show, we’re talking about all the things we lose in our day to day lives. When we lose things, no matter how small or insignificant, how do you react? Do you think you’re losing your mind and get mad? Do we have tendencies to sometimes blame other people for when things get lost?
Many times when we lose things, it isn’t just the thought of them being lost that really bothers us. It can be what that specific item represents to us and it no longer being around that upsets or bothers...2019-12-0519 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen012 | Us & Kids: ThanksgivingOn today’s show, we're in the season of celebrating Thanksgiving this week. The holidays can put an emotional and relational impact on your relationship and raising your kids. This holiday season when there is so much to be thankful for, there are still some things you should focus on for yourself.
During this season, I want you to work on putting pride aside and really focus on happiness. Learn when to ask and accept help from others. Remember to take time for yourself if constant crowds and large groups become draining for you. It’s never a ba...2019-11-2711 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen011 | Us & Kids: Write It to Right ItOn today’s show, we're talking about why writing is so important for good mental health, family health and marriage health. Many of us get caught up in the thought of sitting down and having to write things down. Our school-aged kids also have responsibilities for writing in their day, from book reports, their agendas and other homework.
Since Thanksgiving is just around the corner, it's a time that we like to quietly reflect on all the things we are thankful for. We often feel scared of the idea of journaling or other consistent writing because we th...2019-11-2118 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen010 | Us & Kids: When & How to ApologizeOn today’s show, we are discussing something that is important in any relationship - how to apologize. Sometimes things can get messy and we need to learn the right way and time to apologize to one another. When we run into difficult situations in our marriage and while parenting, there are a few things we can do to help get to a resolution.
A lot of the time we need to evaluate what we want to get out of a conversation before we know how to approach it. When kids are brought into the mix, it ca...2019-11-1521 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen009 | Us & Kids: Make Your BedOn today’s show, we’re talking about how one simple and small action we can take each day can make a huge difference. That one little step many of us may love or avoid doing is making our bed. We often don’t realize the impact that making our bed first thing in the morning has on our day.
Us as parents need a space that provides us with peace and calmness among the chaos of each day. Things are never going to be perfect, especially with kids, but when we take the opportunity to create order...2019-11-0817 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen008 | Us & Kids: Breast Cancer AwarenessOn today’s show, we are talking about something that can be hard to talk about but something that is necessary to bring awareness to. When someone gets diagnosed with cancer, there is a lot of uncertainty in their lives. They become unsure of who they are as a woman, as a wife and as a mother.💕
There are so many ways we can deal with this diagnosis in our own lives as well as for those around us. We want to ensure we can embrace the new things to come while also keeping the normal things in ou...2019-11-0133 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen007 | Us & Kids: Positive Emotions & ThoughtsOn today’s show, we are talking about PETS and how they relate to our marriage. In our day-to-day lives, there are so many things that can put us into a negative mindset. It’s hard to not let our anxiety and negative emotions creep into our relationships. We don’t want to burden our spouses with our worries but they can often be a great way to help achieve PETS.2019-10-2518 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen006 | Us & Kids: Miscarriage & LossOn today’s show, we talk about the hard topic of miscarriage and losing a child. Miscarriage is never an easy thing to go through no matter when it happens. We often feel as though we are alone because no one talks about what they might also be going through.
As a friend, we often don’t know what to say or how to support our friends through this time. We don’t want to risk saying the wrong thing or potentially upset them more. We are going to discuss some of the many ways you can suppor...2019-10-1813 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen005 | Us & Kids: Happy AnniversaryOn today’s show, we are talking about ✨ANNIVERSARIES✨ and all the ways we celebrate them. I’ve been a marriage and family therapist for many many years. Anniversaries matter to so many people around us, our family, our friends, our kids.
As the years go by and we celebrate bigger and greater accomplishments, we also need to take the time to look back and see where we’ve been. Go over all of those wins you’ve had with your spouse, and remember those times that might have been a little bit more trying.2019-10-1011 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen004 | Us & Kids: BlueberriesOn today’s show, we are talking about the sweet and juicy topic of berries and how they can resemble our kids and families. When we think about our gardens and the variety of fruits we might be growing, we hardly ever stop to think how so many of the attributes of these berries are similar to our kids. 🍓
Many of the things needed to careful grow plants and make them flourish are the same things our kids need as they also grow.2019-09-2611 minUs and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen003 | Alive After Five—Your MarriageToday on our show, we are getting into part 2 of our series: Alive After Five. On the last episode, we discussed what happens in the first five years of raising our kids.Today, the discussion is all about our marriage and those first few stages most couples go through. We talk about how to be open to all of the changing phases as well as how to take intentional actions that help direct your marriage.2019-09-1510 min