Shows
The BlueprintEp. 49 Jenny Helms-Calvin, LCMFT, Author of Beneath Your Bullsh*tSend us a text *Content Warning: Sensitive topics discussed, user discretion is advised.Jenny Helms-Calvin, Licensed Clinical Marriage and Family Therapist (LCMFT), is a wounded healer, a coach for recovering people-pleasers, and an ambitious business owner. She founded and owns SOMA Therapy, the largest mental health practice in Kansas with over 60 mental health providers and New Perspectives Counseling with 25 providers. Her jam is helping folks with boundaries, attachment trauma, self-worth, and eating disorders.Want to be becoming and boundaried? Let's get connected!For a supportive community of accountability and support, join the Becoming...2023-12-111h 15
The BlueprintEp. 49 Jenny Helms-Calvin, LCMFT, Author of Beneath Your Bullsh*t*Content Warning: Sensitive topics discussed, user discretion is advised.
Jenny Helms-Calvin, Licensed Clinical Marriage and Family Therapist (LCMFT), is a wounded healer, a coach for recovering people-pleasers, and an ambitious business owner. She founded and owns SOMA Therapy, the largest mental health practice in Kansas with over 60 mental health providers and New Perspectives Counseling with 25 providers. Her jam is helping folks with boundaries, attachment trauma, self-worth, and eating disorders.
Want to be becoming and boundaried? Let's get connected!
For a supportive community of accountability and support, join the Becoming & Boundaried Besties on Facebook: Becoming & Boundaried B...2023-12-111h 13
Healthy & Empowered Living, Christian Weight Loss, Healthy Eating Tips, Body Confidence, Simple Lifestyle Habits, Healthy Family29. Struggling with Body Image, Confidence or Motivation? Why a Healthy Body Starts in Your Mind with Special Guest Jenny Helms-CalvinDo you find yourself struggling with self-worth or confidence? Are you curious why your motivation seems to come and go so much on your healthy journey? Do you wonder exactly how mental health plays into your relationship to food, exercise, or your body image?
So often, the world tries to tell us that the fixes for these problems are more diets or workout programs or even to know more about what you should or shouldn’t do to live healthy. But knowing is different from actually being able to do the things, right?
The truth is t...2022-11-0740 min
Friend RequestSelf-Care Summer - Personal FinanceWhether it's balancing a budget or learning your money story, this episode covers it all. We are joined by licensed therapist Jenny Helms, as well as Licensed Social Worker andFinancial Therapist Lindsay Bryan-Podvin to learn all about personal finance and where it fits into a healthy self-care routine. If money is making you feel icky or you find yourself with deep-seeded beliefs about money being evil or good or representative of something more, this may be the perfect time to take a breath and learn about what a money story is and how it affects you in your underlying...2022-08-0129 minFriend RequestSelf-Care Summer - Human ContactHow often are you engaged with another person? How many hugs are you giving and receiving each day? In this Self-Care Summer episode, we are joined by licensed therapist Jenny Helms to discuss the benefits of human contact and physical touch. We will discuss the mass isolation we have faced during the pandemic, as well as what effect that has had on many people across the globe. Then we'll talk about all of the benefits of human contact, physical touch and hugs, including how to get past those awkward hugs where you're wondering if someone is cool with hugging...2022-07-1820 min
Friend RequestSex & Relationships III w/ Jenny Helms, LCMFTJenny Helms, our licensed therapist, is back in part 3 of our Sex & Relationships series. This time we are focusing on couples with different sex drives. We discuss everything from cultural reasoning to biological reasoning and everything in-between, as well as how to communicate and manage things, should this become an issue with your partner. Friend Request is sponsored by Betterhelp! Listeners can start therapy in as soon as 48 hours and save 10% off their first month by going to http://www.betterhelp.com/FRIENDREQUEST and signing up today! @jennyannhelms @friendrequestpod JustinsFriendRequest@gmail.com 2021-05-1738 min
Friend RequestSex & Relationships w/ Jenny Helms, LCMFT PART 2How well do you know your turn-ons? What about your partner's turn-ons? How often do you masturbate? Is it more or less than average? This month's bonus episode is a deep dive into how well you know yourself and what you like, sexually. As always, we are joined by licensed therapist Jenny Helms, as we navigate through the survey results that our listeners sent in. http://www.patreon.com/friendrequestpod @JennyAnnHelms @FriendRequestPod 2021-04-1941 min
Friend RequestSex & Relationships w/ Jenny Helms, LCMFT PART 1This month Jenny and Justin discuss sex, as it relates to relationships. They cover topics like knowing your own body, having different sex drives, insecurities, and the problem with learning anything from pornography. This is the first episode in a four-part series. Submit questions to JustinsFriendRequest@gmail.com @FriendRequestPod @JennyAnnHelms2021-03-1559 min
Friend RequestGrief & Grieving w/ Jenny Helms, LCMFTWhat is grief? How long is too long to be grieving? How can you be supportive to someone that is grieving? These questions and more will be answered in this month's bonus episode with resident therapist and licensed clinical marriage and family therapist, Jenny Helms. We also discuss why the current pandemic has us all grieving and what that looks like. @FriendRequestPod @JennyAnnHelms JustinsFriendRequest@gmail.com2021-02-1533 min
Friend Request057 - Katie AllenKatie is an author and owner of Teranga Market. Our discussion spans the spectrum of topics, from religion and diversity, to depression, creativity, and self-validation. Katie's book, Teranaga: A Story of Belonging is available on paperback and eBook through Amazon right now. Link below! Katie's book: https://amzn.to/36T5SEv Jenny Helms, LCMFT answers listeners questions in Ask a Therapist @FriendRequestPod @JennyAnnHelms @Teranga.Market JustinsFriendRequest@gmail.com2021-02-081h 33
Friend Request056 - Hillary CampbellHillary discusses everything from 10 years of sobriety to training to be a triathlete. She discusses finding her career, surprising herself with an interest in cheerleading, and how she is transitioning into a whole foods life. Follow her for more @wholefoodhill Ask a Therapist: How do we admit our beliefs were wrong, both to ourselves and to others online? Jenny Helms, LCMFT answers and offers some insight. JustinsFriendRequest@gmail.com @FriendRequestPod @JennyAnnHelms @WholeFoodHill2021-02-011h 36
Friend Request055 - Kate KelleyThis week, Kate discusses her relationship with her parents, discovering her father is a pedophile, why she identifies at pansexual, and how she got so open about sexuality that she ended up working in the field. Ask a Therapist: Dealing with Projecting with Jenny Helms, LCMFT @FriendRequestPod @JennyAnnHelms JustinsFriendRequest@gmail.com2021-01-251h 02
Friend RequestResolutions & Goal Setting w/ Jenny Helms, LCMFTThis month's bonus episode hits January's most popular topic: New Year's Resolutions. Therapist Jenny Helms goes over healthy methods of setting goals and how to have the right support system in place to be successful. @FriendRequestPod @JennyAnnHelms2021-01-1842 min
Friend Request054 - Justin Lamb (Part 2)The conclusion of the interview with the host. Justin discusses the podcast: how he started it, what the struggles have been. He also discusses his love of music, making a studio album, and what his first CD was. Ask a Therapist w/ Jenny Helms, LCMFT What is a narcissist? How do you deal with narcissist parents and siblings? How do you set boundaries with a narcissist? @FriendRequestPod @JennyAnnHelms JustinsFriendRequest@gmail.com2021-01-1145 min
Friend Request053 - Derek PierceFrom Indiana to Texas to Michigan to New York to Los Angeles, Derek has been just about everywhere throughout his life and has stories to fill all of the locations, including his parents nearly becoming paralyzed to coming out of the closet to how he ended up working in the music business. Jenny Helms, LCMFT, answers listen question: How to break the trauma bond. @FriendRequestPod @JennyAnnHelms2020-12-281h 28
Friend RequestBehavioral Addictions w/ Jenny Helms, LCMFTIf you've ever questioned whether or not you have an unhealthy relationship with sex, porn, video games, social media, or any other "bad habit", then this episode is for you! @FriendRequestPod @JennyAnnHelms JustinsFriendRequest@gmail.com2020-12-2141 min
Friend Request051 - Aaron BridgewaterAaron Bridgewater is the front man for As They Sleep. He discusses growing up in a good home and getting into trouble as a teenager. Aaron also talks about the early days of joining a band, getting signed, and touring. He talks about fatherhood, raising a daughter as a metalhead dad, and what it's like to have two grown kids. Jenny Helms, LCMFT answers listener questions about her job in this week's Ask a Therapist segment. @FriendRequestPod @JennyAnnHelms JustinsFriendRequest@gmail.com2020-12-071h 23
Friend Request050 - Pam WhitePam is amazing and our discussion runs the gambit from spirituality and childhood trauma, to Personal Finance and finding your path. Pam is an incredibly talented photo-realist artist and an amazing individual who has clearly done the work. Ask a Therapist with Jenny Helms, LCMFT: How does insurance work for family and couples sessions? @FriendRequestPod @JennyAnnHelms JustinsFriendRequest@gmail.com2020-11-301h 12
Friend RequestFamily Systems w/ Jenny Helms, LCMFTWith the holidays almost here, this month's bonus episode is all about Family Systems. Whether it's how you react and respond to your family, or how they react and respond to you, resident therapist Jenny Helms gives advice on how to communicate, set boundaries, and find balance. Jenny also calls out Justin on a number of his own issues with his family. Enjoy this episode and have a safe holiday. @JennyAnnHelms @FriendRequestPod JustinsFriendRequest@gmail.com 10% Off your NA Beer order at Bravus.com with code: FRIENDREQUEST2020-11-1644 min
Friend Request048 - Natalie NedvetskyNatalie is a classically trained pianist with an undergraduate from Julliard. She discusses her upbringing in upper-class Chicago and some of the mental health issues that developed from there, including her active struggle with an eating disorder. Natalie also talks about her literary music series. After the interview Jenny Helms, LCMFT answers listener's questions on night time anxiety. @pianista.poeta @jennyannhelms @friendrequestpod justinsfriendrequest@gmail.com2020-11-091h 11
Friend Request047 - Garrett GarciaGarrett discusses how education has always come easy to him and how finding a life in law didn't appeal to him to later in life. He discusses the role of religion in his life, as well as his thoughts on modern politics and the role history plays in them. Jenny Helms, LCMFT answers listener questions about how to overcome your parents' toxic parenting and be your own kind of parent. @FriendRequestPod @JennyAnnHelms JustinsFriendRequest@gmail.com2020-11-021h 13
Friend Request046 - Katie LynnIn this amazing interview, Katie goes through the intricacies of her family tree and discusses all the trauma she has experienced, as well as how and why she takes on the mother role with all of her relationships. Q&A with Jenny Helms, LCMFT after the episode. Ask your questions to JustinsFriendRequest@gmail.com @JennyAnnHelms @FriendRequestPod2020-10-261h 12
Friend RequestEating Disorders w/ Jenny Helms, LCMFTJustin discusses Eating Disorders with Jenny Helms, LCMFT. They cover and define bulemia nervosa, anorexia, and other forms of restrictive eating. Justin asks questions about fasting and diets. @jennyannhelms @FriendRequestPod JustinsFriendRequest@gmail.com2020-10-1953 min
Friend Request045 - Joanie DoddsJoanie, former America's Next Top Model contestant, and home renovation TV personality, rekindles a friendship with Justin and discusses her upbringing in a broken home in Pittsburgh, the highs and lows of living in Los Angeles in your 20's and how all of these lessons led to her realization that she was depressed, as well as how she handled that through EMDR, therapy, and medication. Ask a Therapist with Jenny Helms after the interview! Submit your questions to JustinsFriendRequest@gmail.com @JoanieSprague @JennyAnnHelms @FriendRequestPod2020-10-121h 14
Friend Request044 - Alex LafrenzAlex is a former co-worker who discusses his struggles with alcohol, his year in jail, and what some of the ramifications are for his poor decisions over the years. Alex and Justin also nerd out of guitar and talk about what it's like working in a grocery store in the age of COVID. After the interview, Jenny Helms, LMFT joins us to answer your listen questions! Social: @FriendRequestPod Email: JustinsFriendRequest@gmail.com wsg @jennyannhelms2020-10-051h 04
Friend RequestAdverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) w/ Jenny Helms LCMFTJenny Helms, a licensed marriage and family therapist, specializing in trauma and eating disorders, joins Friend Request to discuss Adverse Childhood Experiences, or ACEs, their effect on physical and mental health, and how to battle trauma from infancy to adulthood. Jenny is the founder of Soma Therapy and can be found across social media @jennyannhelms Friend Request social: @FriendRequestPod JustinsFriendRequest@gmail.com Submit your questions now for Ask a Therapist!2020-09-1459 min
Holikhrey PodcastOverlooked Subtle Traumas with Jenny HelmesWhat are the different types of traumas? What are the ways we can break this cycle and heal from them? what are the root causes of it?Is it because of our Parents way of raising us or is it just because of an extensive crisis like car accidents? These are just some of the questions that were answered by my guest Jenny Helms! I stumbled upon her posts about childhood traumas that surfaces in adulthood and every bullet hits the cord inside of me! It gave me so much awareness of my own toxic pattern that's hindering me fr...2020-08-2843 min
Coffee with a TherapistHow to Convince Someone to go to Therapy & Getting My Parents to Take Me to TherapyIn today's #coffeewithatherapist, I'm answering the following questions:"How do I convince my loved ones to go to therapy?""How do I convince my parents to take me to therapy/that I need therapy?"-----Join me LIVE on coffee with a therapist on Facebook live Mon & Wed at 9:15 am CT or listen to it via the "Yellow Brick Therapy Podcast" (available on most podcasting platforms).Enjoy having coffee with me? SUBSCRIBE to upgrade your relationship with yourself and others.Want me to cover a specific topic or question?1. DM...2020-08-1909 minCoffee with a TherapistHow to Start TherapyIn today's #coffeewithatherapist, I'm answering the following questions about starting therapy:-How do I start therapy?-How do I find a good therapist?-What should I ask during the first session?-What if I can't afford therapy or have a limited budget?-What if I live overseas and not in the US where therapists are readily available? -What is this process like? -----Join me LIVE on coffee with a therapist on Facebook live Mon & Wed at 9:15 am CT or listen to it via the "Yellow Brick Therapy Podcast" (available on...2020-08-1813 minCoffee with a TherapistIntimacy & Sexual Trauma in Intimate RelationshipsIn today's #coffeewithatherapist, I'm answering the following questions:- If a trauma has caused a lack of emotional and physical intimacy in your relationship, what can be expected in your relationship?- What can you do as their partner to be supportive and also ensure that your needs are also being considered?- Are there practices for reintroducing healthy physical intimacy and at what point is it appropriate?- What, if any, are realistic expectations as outcomes of trauma therapy? Ie. Will this aspect of our relationship ever be fulfilling?- When and how to...2020-08-1413 minCoffee with a TherapistChildhood Trauma & Resiliency FactorsIn today's #coffeewithatherapist, I describe some of the more commonly known forms of "childhood adverse events" by going through the ACE study questions and resilience factors. Next episode we will delve into the lesser known or less obvious childhood traumas to help you connect the dots if you are struggling with symptoms of trauma.Most of us have some of these, and even if your ACE score is high there is A LOT we can do to reverse it (me and many of my clients are walking proof). Hugs & support to y'all! --Join me LIVE...2020-08-1012 minCoffee with a TherapistToxic Family Beliefs and Rules - Do any of these resonate?In today's #coffeewithatherapist, I explain specific examples of toxic family beliefs and rules. This will help you understand some of the beliefs that you may have yet to heal or subtle ways our family's intergenerational trauma leaked into our family system. Most families have at least one or two of these (and that's okay!) what's best is if we are able to get curious about them and heal it for the next generation. Feel free to add some additional ones to the comments to help expand this definition for others. :)--Join me LIVE...2020-08-0514 minCoffee with a TherapistTips for Dealing with Toxic Parents or Family MembersIn today's #coffeewithatherapist, I explain different tips and strategies for navigating toxic parenting or family relationships in ways that support connection in a safe way.Navigating and healing from these types of relationships is hard, and I highly recommend working with a trained and licensed therapist if you are struggling with toxic parenting or family relationships.--Join me LIVE on coffee with a therapist on Facebook live Mon-Fri at 9:15 am CT or listen to it via the "Yellow Brick Therapy Podcast" (available on most podcasting platforms).Enjoy having coffee with me? SUBSCRIBE to...2020-08-0411 minCoffee with a TherapistWhat is Internalized or "Self" Gaslighting?In today's #coffeewithatherapist, I explain what internalized gaslighting is and the different affirmations we can use to challenge it.If you struggle with really absorbing the affirmations I describe, I'd highly recommend working on this with a therapist or trained professional. --Join me LIVE on coffee with a therapist on Facebook live Mon-Fri at 9:15 am CT or listen to it via the "Yellow Brick Therapy Podcast" (available on most podcasting platforms).Enjoy having coffee with me? SUBSCRIBE to upgrade your relationship with yourself and others.Want me to cover a...2020-08-0311 minCoffee with a TherapistAdult Children of Narcissists or Toxic ParentingIn today's #coffeewithatherapist, I'll be describing (with examples) the signs and ways we may engage in the world if we were raised by toxic parenting behaviors (or if we had a parent who struggled with narcissism).Do any of these resonate?--Join me LIVE on coffee with a therapist on Facebook live Mon-Fri at 9:15 am CT or listen to it via the "Yellow Brick Therapy Podcast" (available on most podcasting platforms).Enjoy having coffee with me? SUBSCRIBE to upgrade your relationship with yourself and others.Want me to cover a...2020-07-2911 minCoffee with a TherapistTraits of Toxic ParentingIn today's #coffeewithatherapist, we are talking about the traits of toxic parenting. My hope is that you will learn from this what may have impacted you as a child (the subtle and not so subtle things) and learn/grow to not engage in these behaviors in your own parenting (or in reaction behaviors).--Join me LIVE on coffee with a therapist on Facebook live Mon-Fri at 9:15 am CT or listen to it via the "Yellow Brick Therapy Podcast" (available on most podcasting platforms).Enjoy having coffee with me? SUBSCRIBE to upgrade your relationship...2020-07-2816 minCoffee with a TherapistHow to Set Boundaries with Difficult PeopleIn today's #coffeewithatherapist, we are talking about how to set boundaries with difficult people. Difficult people include: those you have to set boundaries with multiple times because they "forget" and those who respond with passive-aggressiveness, distance, anxiety, hostility, or anger. *If someone is physically or emotionally abusive in response to your boundaries -- no amount of tips or tricks will help this. It's important you seek/find safety and do safety planning around this.*--Join me LIVE on coffee with a therapist on Facebook live Mon-Fri at 9:15 am CT or listen to it via...2020-07-2711 minCoffee with a TherapistExamples of Setting Healthy Boundaries in Your FamilyIn today's #coffeewithatherapist, we are talking about specific examples of healthy boundaries we may set with our family members.We will cover:1. Boundaries around communication, travel, and spending time together2. Boundaries around non-triangulation and keeping secrets secret3. Boundaries around listening well and setting up times to connect/communicate4. Boundaries around toxic conversations, judgment/criticism, and uncomfortable topics4. Grief and loss when family members aren't emotionally safe and don't respect our boundaries**Remember, it's important to have an equitable consequence for each boundary that we set. Without a consequence, a boundary is...2020-07-2214 minCoffee with a TherapistExamples of Healthy Boundaries with Our In-LawsIn today's #coffeewithatherapist, we are talking about specific examples of healthy boundaries we may set with our in-laws or loved ones of our significant other.We will cover:1. Boundaries around how to discuss differences in opinion / giving advice2. Boundaries around privacy / communicating when they come over3. Boundaries about travel and parenting**Remember, it's important to have an equitable consequence for each boundary that we set. Without a consequence, a boundary is just a threat.**What boundaries have been helpful for you and your in-laws?--Join me LIVE...2020-07-2113 minCoffee with a TherapistExamples of Healthy Boundaries in Relationships with Your Romantic Partner or Significant OtherIn today's #coffeewithatherapist, we are talking about specific examples of healthy boundaries we may set with our significant other or romantic partner.We will cover:1. Boundaries around having hard conversations / arguments2. Boundaries around privacy/what we share with others3. Boundaries about communicating our needs & wants**Remember, it's important to have a consequence (an equitable consequence) for each boundary we set. Without a consequence, a boundary is just a threat.**What romantic relationship boundaries have been helpful for you and your SO? --Join me LIVE on coffee with...2020-07-2012 minCoffee with a TherapistTips on Setting Healthy BoundariesIn today's #coffeewithatherapist, we are delving into my tips and advice for setting healthy boundaries. We will cover:1. How to generally approach them (keeping things short and respectful)2. What to expect in other's reactions to our boundaries3. How to be consistent with our boundaries4. What healthy boundary setting will look like in the long run--Join me LIVE on coffee with a therapist on Facebook live Mon-Fri at 9:15 am CT or listen to it via the "Yellow Brick Therapy Podcast" (available on most podcasting platforms).Enjoy having coffee...2020-07-1710 minCoffee with a TherapistHow to Know When to Set BoundariesIn today's #coffeewithatherapist, I'm delving into how to know "when" to set boundaries and a brief overview of general human/relationship rights. I also go into a side-tangent about shame-resilience and negative feedback. ;)This video generally overviews:1. What indicators tell us we may need to set boundaries2. How boundaries can be small, subtle and not always a "bigger conversation" but more of how we address things in the moment.3. What general rights we have in healthy relationships--Join me LIVE on coffee with a therapist on Facebook live Mon-Fri...2020-07-1612 minCoffee with a TherapistHealthy vs Unhealthy BoundariesIn today's #coffeewithatherapist, we are talking all about the differences between healthy and unhealthy boundaries AND the biggest barriers people have to setting boundaries.We will cover:1. Biggest obstacles people have shared/have to setting healthy boundaries2. What characterizes healthy boundaries 3. What characterizes unhealthy boundaries / "leaky" boundariesIf you have any specific questions about boundaries, I'd love your feedback -- Happy Wednesday!--Join me LIVE on coffee with a therapist on Facebook live Mon-Fri at 9:15 am CT or listen to it via the "Yellow Brick Therapy Podcast" (available on most...2020-07-1512 minCoffee with a TherapistWhat Are Boundaries?In today's #coffeewithatherapist, we are talking about all things boundaries. Specifically what they are and how we will be covering different boundary topics over the next couple of weeks. If you have a specific boundary question -- please post a comment or DM me.--Join me LIVE on coffee with a therapist on Facebook live Mon-Fri at 9:15 am CT or listen to it via the "Yellow Brick Therapy Podcast" (available on most podcasting platforms).Enjoy having coffee with me? SUBSCRIBE to upgrade your relationship with yourself and others.Want me to cover...2020-07-1310 minCoffee with a TherapistWhat Mental Health Q's Do You Have?In today's #coffeewithatherapist, I am doing something different. I am asking YOU what would be a mental health question you are interested in learning more about. So far via TikTok the top categories are:1. Boundaries (in all the ways)2. Narcissistic / Toxic Parents3. Trauma & ADHD connectionThis weekend I'll be doing an inventory and creating some series based on the answers I get from you since this is created to help. The more specific, the better. It has been such a blast to connect and engage with y'all. Keep the feedback coming!--...2020-07-1005 minCoffee with a TherapistA Big Sign You're Making Progress in TherapyIn today's #coffeewithatherapist we are talking about one of the big signs you are making progress in therapy (or healing your mental health concerns).Specifically, I talk about anxiety & depression -- but this often applies to the other complex emotions and disorders people have as well. The path is not linear, and so it is to be expected that we will "relapse" in certain ways and it's important to understand what is healthy emotion and something for us to pay attention to.Tune in to learn more!--Join me LIVE on coffee with...2020-07-0908 minCoffee with a TherapistLet's Talk About The Fear of AbandonmentIn today's #coffeewithatherapist, we are talking about the fear of abandonment.1. Where it typically stems from 2. How it shows up in relationships3. What core things we must work on / develop to heal our fear of abandonment--Join me LIVE on coffee with a therapist on Facebook live Mon-Fri at 9:15 am CT or listen to it via the "Yellow Brick Therapy Podcast" (available on most podcasting platforms).Enjoy having coffee with me? SUBSCRIBE to upgrade your relationship with yourself and others.Want me to cover a specific topic or...2020-07-0808 minCoffee with a TherapistOne of the WORST Parts of Going To TherapyIn today's #coffeewithatherapist, I am going to delve into talking about what I consider the "hardest" or worst part of therapy and the growth process. It may not be what you think, and is something that I often warn my clients about. Even though this part is difficult, it is 100% worth it in the long run.--Join me LIVE on coffee with a therapist on Facebook live Mon-Fri at 9:15 am CT or listen to it via the "Yellow Brick Therapy Podcast" (available on most podcasting platforms).Enjoy having coffee with me? SUBSCRIBE to upgrade...2020-07-0708 minCoffee with a TherapistPsychologically Navigating Mask-Wearing and Other COVID-19 ChangesIn today's #coffeewithatherapist, I was inspired by my own struggles and others inquiring about how we might navigate COVID-19 mandates of wearing a mask & other changes with our mental health in tact. And how we can be kind to ourselves and those who are enforcing it. I'll be addressing the following:1. My own psychological struggles with mask-wearing and how I've navigated them2. Gaining big picture perspective 3. Owning our power in how we respond4. Doing what's the least stressful for ourselves, others, and our financial, emotional, and physical wellbeing5. Celebrating the little things and...2020-07-0609 minCoffee with a TherapistHow Do We Identify Trauma?In today's #coffeewithatherapist, we are talking about the ways we can identify or connect the dots when it comes to our behaviors that indicate that we've had trauma.FIRST - I'd recommend working with a professional that specializes in trauma, as these things can be complex, and often our brain can shield us/encodes trauma memories different than other memories (and there's a good reason for that).Some reasons we may struggle to connect the dots:1. Trauma memories are encoded differently2. Often childhood trauma is invalidated and normalized "every kid gets bullied"3. Intergenerational trauma...2020-07-0310 minCoffee with a TherapistHow To Heal if You Can't See A TherapistIn today's #coffeewithatherapist, we are talking about the different free/low cost and accessible options for healing trauma and mental health problems if you don't have access to good, affordable mental healthcare.First, I want to say that I will always advocate seeing a therapist/a professional (if it's possible) as the best option. However, I also realize that this is not accessible to all and so I wanted to answer questions on my TikTok from people in varying situations and living in various places -- how can we heal ourselves / work to heal trauma if we can't...2020-07-0208 minCoffee with a TherapistWhat Differentiates A Traumatic Event from Trauma?In today's #coffeewithatherapist, we are talking all about what differentiates trauma from a traumatic event and covering questions like:1. Why can two people experience the same trauma and only one have PTSD?2. What is secondary trauma?3. What determines if a traumatic event will become trauma or ptsd?4. What are resources that buffer or create resilience with traumatic events?--Join me LIVE on coffee with a therapist on Facebook live Mon-Fri at 9:15 am CT or listen to it via the "Yellow Brick Therapy Podcast" (available on most podcasting platforms).Enjoy having...2020-07-0110 minCoffee with a TherapistHow Trauma Shows Up In Our Romantic RelationshipsIn today's #coffeewithatherapist, we are talking about the various ways trauma shows up in our romantic relationship (inspired by an awesome Q on my TikTok (@jennyannhelms)Here are some of the ways that I will go into detail about:1. Difficulty with trust or affection2. Clingy, needy behaviors3. Overly independent or avoidant behaviors4. Oscillating between the two extremes of needy behaviors and avoidant behaviors5. Negative view of self or being overly critical of partners6. Fear of losing independence / commitment7. Fear of abandonment--Join me LIVE on coffee with...2020-07-0110 minCoffee with a TherapistHow (Unresolved) Trauma Shows Up At WorkIn today's #coffeewithatherapist, we are talking about how unresolved trauma shows up in the workplace including these ways:1. Being the office doormat2. Not speaking up for ourselves or setting boundaries3. Taking feedback as harsh criticism and as reasons we fail at the job / part of our self worth4. Being overly hard on ourselves for mistakes or errors5. Not putting ourselves out there by voicing our ideas, applying for jobs, or pursuing self employment--Join me LIVE on coffee with a therapist on Facebook live Mon-Fri at 9:15 am CT or listen to...2020-06-2908 minCoffee with a TherapistQ&A: Boundaries with KidsIn today's #coffeewithatherapist, we are talking about teaching and setting boundaries with kids, what's developmentally appropriate for their brains, and what are some effective ways to still validate their feelings while setting boundaries and structure for them since they don't always know the best ways to set boundaries for themselves. Some resources discussed include: Dan Siegel's work with kids, "The Whole Brain Child" and Henry Cloud & John Townsend's, "Boundaries with Kids"--Join me LIVE on coffee with a therapist on Facebook live Mon-Fri at 9:15 am CT or listen to it via the "Yellow Brick...2020-06-2609 minCoffee with a TherapistWhen Happiness Feels BadIn today's #coffeewithatherapist, we are talking all about the 3 ways I've seen happiness be a bad, scary, or avoided emotion in my clients and even my own life. I'll also discuss the ways we can heal this and work towards being more comfortable with an emotion many of us claim to want or be seeking.1. Happiness feels scary because we are waiting for the other shoe to drop2. Happiness feels bad because we have guilt about those who are struggling3. Happiness feels uncomfortable because we are used to always being on the go and achieving the...2020-06-2510 minCoffee with a TherapistQ&A: Help with the 4th Step in 12 Steps / Alcoholics AnonymousIn today's #coffeewithatherapist, I'll be answering the q: "I'm struggling to write my 4th step in my 12 step program. Any suggestions?"I'll discuss ways that we can identify and make peace with our resentments/exhiles and identify some of the parts that often contribute to "acting out" behaviors whether it's with addiction, eating disorders, or some other mental health concern. We all have these parts and it's so important we are able to know what they are, when they show up, and how we can learn what they need to not interject into our lives when we are...2020-06-2408 minCoffee with a TherapistHow to Create "Goals with Soul" (and that last!)In today's #coffeewithatherapist, I'll be giving a concrete example of how to create "a goal with soul". You'll learn about how to tie your goals to who you are at your core versus tying your goals to fear, shame, or "shoulds". This is part of the crucial work I do with clients in therapy, and I've seen/experienced this method being an effective, long-term way of setting goals (and finding our sense of direction) for every area of our life.#goals #motivation #selfhelp #therapist--Join me LIVE on coffee with a therapist on Facebook live...2020-06-2208 minCoffee with a TherapistDo You Have Unresolved Childhood or Relationship Trauma?This is probably one of my favorite #coffeewithatherapist videos because it's such an important topic and has helped many of my clients have "aha" moments. In this video, I will talk about all the subtle (and not so subtle) ways people can exhibit unresolved childhood or relationship trauma. There are a lot of mindsets and red flags that impact the way people see the world and ultimately their quality of life. Tune in to see if you have any of those red flags -- as it may be worth considering if you have some unresolved trauma in your life and...2020-06-1909 minCoffee with a TherapistWhat is normal anxiety versus an anxiety disorder?In today's #coffeewithatherpist, we are talking all about anxiety (duh duh duh, queue ominous theme music). I'll be answering the following questions:1. What is normal anxiety vs. an anxiety disorder?2. How do we know if we struggle with chronic anxiety?3. When should we seek help or take it more seriously?4. What does anxiety often get mislabled as?5. What are the hidden signs of an anxiety disorder if we don't realize we are experiencing chronic anxiety? Excited to talk about this very important topic and even share my own quirky anxiety trigger with...2020-06-1808 minCoffee with a TherapistCan we Heal Trauma? (How we Heal Trauma in the Brain and Body)Today's #coffeewithatherapist was inspired by the question, "Can I heal my own trauma?" and variations of that question via my TikTok. So happy and glad to share more about this. The short answer? Yes. Tune in to find out more how we heal trauma and what healing trauma means. --Join me LIVE on coffee with a therapist on Facebook live Mon-Fri at 9:15 am CT or listen to it via the "Yellow Brick Therapy Podcast" (available on most podcasting platforms).Enjoy having coffee with me? SUBSCRIBE to upgrade your relationship with yourself and others. Bc...2020-06-1710 minCoffee with a TherapistWhat is intergenerational or family trauma?In today's #coffeewithatherapist, we are talking about intergenerational trauma. We used to believe that when family members died, that their trauma and mental health died with them. We now understand not just in family systems theory, but also science how trauma that doesn't get resolved gets passed down.The good news? We can heal this trauma and be "gatekeepers" for the generations to come. AND we can have more grace and perspective for our family members that are struggling with their emotional and mental health. I would love your comments or feedback. Happy Tuesday!...2020-06-1608 minCoffee with a TherapistWhat is Trauma and How Do I know if I've Healed from it?In today's #coffeewithatherapist, we are talking about an expanded definition of what trauma is, both "little T and big T" traumas and how we know if we have worked through or resolved some of it. Understanding what trauma is a BIG first step in making positive changes in our lives and our relationships. Often people don't realize how much some of the "little T" traumas get in the way of their career, life, spiritual, and relationship success. It's one of the reasons that I believe that many people can benefit from therapy (even when they are not in a "desparate"...2020-06-1107 minCoffee with a TherapistKindness vs Negativity During Times of Stress and ChangeKindness matters. Not just because it's a "nice thing to say" or masked as a way to avoid pain and the hard stuff. Kindness matters. In the research on shame, feelings of shame and being overly negative actually don't create change in the long-run, and often keep people stuck. So when we are looking to make change, make hard decisions, or responding to those who are being negative -- kindness matters. There is a lot of hurt out there -- we all have it inside of us, some more so than others, some we've caused to others. However, when we...2020-06-1007 minCoffee with a TherapistMotivation for Healing and Recovery in TherapyToday's #coffeewithatherapist is all about finding a healthy, long-term sense of motivation for recovery or healing for our mental health and personal development. I often see my clients using fear or a "running from" approach to try and motivate themselves to heal, and inevitably when life gets stressful they lose their motivation to keep going. Tune in to learn about a tried and true way of motivating yourself long-term and the foundation for long-lasting healing in therapy and personal development. ---Join me LIVE on coffee with a therapist on Facebook live Mon-Fri at 9:15 am CT or...2020-06-0908 minCoffee with a TherapistLGBTQ+ Community and Mental Health with Psychiatric NP LaVeta JarrettToday on #coffeewithatherapist and in honor of #PrideMonth, we are talking with psychiatric NP LaVeta Jarrett about the LGBTQ+ community and mental health, pride month, the importance of doing more than just medicine for psychiatric health, and the family and systemic dynamics of LGBTQ+ mental health. We also just wanted to let you know that there are allied therapy practices, professionals willing and able to learn, and you are not alone. ---Join me LIVE on coffee with a therapist on Facebook live Mon-Fri at 9:15 am CT or listen to it via the "Yellow Brick Therapy Podcast"...2020-06-0832 minCoffee with a TherapistGrace & Resources During These Stressful TimesLet's be real. 2020 has been challenging, stressful, and eye-opening for us all. With all of the bad stuff, there is opportunity for growth and beautiful things. In the meantime, many of us our still in the thick of "all the feelings" and it's important we are connected to self-grace and resources. Here's an honest recap of compassion fatigue and how to give ourselves some grace during these uncertain and stressful times (although often the growth is necessary, we must be resourced to grow). ---Join me LIVE on coffee with a therapist on Facebook live Mon-Fri at 9:15...2020-06-0507 minCoffee with a Therapist3 Commonly Misunderstood EmotionsIn today's #coffewithatherapist, we are talking about 3 commonly misunderstood or demonized emotions that I see time-and-time again in the therapy room.Tune in to learn more about the positives and usefulness of these emotions and why they are so important we don't simply "bury" them or pretend they don't exist.--Join me LIVE on coffee with a therapist on Facebook live Mon-Fri at 9:15 am CT or listen to it via the "Yellow Brick Therapy Podcast" (available on most podcasting platforms).Enjoy having coffee with me? SUBSCRIBE to upgrade your relationship with yourself...2020-06-0408 minCoffee with a TherapistAre You Mad At Me? Boundaries with AngerIn today's #coffeewithatherapist, we are discussing the boundary of no longer guessing if others are upset, annoyed, angry or disappointed with us. I discuss the importance of this boundary for our own emotional health/energy and the emotional health of the other person who struggles to express their anger in a healthy way.--Join me LIVE on coffee with a therapist on Facebook live Mon-Fri at 9:15 am CT or listen to it via the "Yellow Brick Therapy Podcast" (available on most podcasting platforms).Enjoy having coffee with me? SUBSCRIBE to upgrade your relationship with...2020-06-0308 minCoffee with a TherapistMasculinity with Andrew Jamison, Licensed Professional CounselorIn today's #coffeewithatherapist, we are delving into the topic of masculinity with Andrew Jamison, LPC. We discuss how masculinity shows up in therapy, it's historical context in American culture (and the "silent soldier"), and both the strengths and weaknesses of our current cultural views of masculinity. Masculinity is present in and impacts both genders. Femininity has strengths and weaknesses as well. We also talk about WHY it's important that people are in touch with and able to talk about their own emotions.--Join me LIVE on coffee with a therapist on Facebook live Mon-Fri...2020-06-0333 minCoffee with a TherapistWere You Parentified As a Child?In today's #coffeewithatherapist, we talk about parentified children and how to heal the ways they are in relationships as a response to their early childhood (if unresolved).You may have been parentified if a parental figure relied on you for their emotional, financial, or physical support. This may also be the case if a caregiver relied on you to take care of other siblings, or if you ended up being the emotional go-to or listener in your family.As a result, in adulthood and romantic relationships you may overly function for others, seek partners who aren't...2020-06-0108 minCoffee with a TherapistEnneagram Type 9 (the Peacemaker) in Love or Romantic Relationships9's can space out and forget to do things -- don't take it too personally. They enjoy slowing things down with their partners and simply "hanging out".The best way to connect with 9's is to approach them with calm and meet them at their level of peace. 9's bring big picture perspective to their partners, are great listeners, and engage them in looking at "the simple things in life". However, it's also important that we listen TO them as well and honor the times they do look into their personal wants, needs, and emotions. Nines...2020-05-2907 minCoffee with a TherapistEnneagram Type 8 (The Leader) in Love or Romantic RelationshipsToday on #coffeewithatherapist, we are talking about Type 8 of the enneagram in relationships!8's like to be in control and have high energy. They are easily goaded into competitions and a non-competitive partner might be annoying to the strong-willed 8. However, a partner who has enough of an edge to stand up to an 8, but enough agreeability to let the 8 have strong opinions without being offended will be an ideal partner.8's can struggle with not wanting to show or admit any "weaknesses", which can lead to a lot of defensive arguing. 8's arguments can cut like...2020-05-2808 minCoffee with a TherapistEnneagram Type 7 (my type!) in Relationships or LoveYay for 7's -- I'm totally biased here as a type 7 and I will be vulnerable and state that I can relate to both the good and bad parts of being a 7 (even the embarrassing commitment part). If you want any further clarification, don't hesitate to message me, and I'm happy to share what might be helpful.Type 7's in love: You are high energy, spontaneous, and love to try new things and have experiences. When healthy, they bring positivity, joy, and gratitude to their relationships that permeates even the gloomiest of people. They bring good...2020-05-2707 minCoffee with a TherapistEnneagram Type 6 in Love or Romantic RelationshipsToday on #coffeewithatherapist, we are talking about type 6 in relationships! And I share that you can see my funny short videos on the different types on my instagram @jennyannhelms -- check it out if you want something silly in your day. Enneagram type 6 in love:6's desire to feel secure and seek to gain that security through their loyalty in relationships. They are good at working toward building strong, lasting, and stable relationships and value trustworthiness, although they can often struggle to trust others and loved ones at first. 6's when not in a healthy state...2020-05-2606 minCoffee with a TherapistEnneagram Type 5 in Love and Romantic RelationshipsIn today's #coffeewithatherapist, we are talking about type 5's, the observer, in relationships. Type 5 in love: Observers need a partner who won't try to force them to go out to places they hate: crowded parties, loud environments or basically anything requiring a lot of social interaction.You will also prefer someone who is a good listener, as you'll get irritated with having to repeat yourself. It takes a LOT of effort for you to put your thoughts into words in the first place.When you are feeling uncomfortable in social settings, others may...2020-05-2507 minCoffee with a TherapistEnneagram Type 4 in Love or Romantic RelationshipsToday on this Friday's #coffeewithatherapist, we are talking all about type 4's in love.For my type 4's out there: you need a partner who is lighthearted enough to avoid the pitfalls of your depressive moods, since you don't always want to come out of them. You'll benefit by being with someone who doesn't "go there" with you and maintains their own emotional experiences. It's also best you have a partner who lets you do things in your own, creative way without criticism or shame. Highly intuitive, you're best suited with a partner who appreciates your intuition and...2020-05-2208 minCoffee with a TherapistEnneagram Type 3 in Love or Romantic RelationshipsOn today's #coffeewithatherapist, we are talking about type 3's in love:Type three: you need a partner who is independent enough to leave you alone while you focus on your work and who has a peaceful, agreeable disposition. Anyone who burdens you with emotional drama is going to get the boot very quickly because you have a really hard time holding emotions or finding value in emotional displays.You constantly are worried about not achieving the kind of success you'd like to achieve in the world, and you prefer those who can tell you how proud they...2020-05-2108 minCoffee with a TherapistEnneagram Type 2 in LoveIn today's #coffeewithatherapist, we are talking all about type two of the enneagram in relationships. Type 2's in love: As a Helper type, you tend to focus more on others than you do on yourself, and romantically, you need someone who can remind you that YOU matter, too.As someone who feels insecure about other people not listening to you as much as you might listen to them, you also need someone who will reassure you that you're interesting and is a good listener. You may also over-function for your partner and not realizing that when you do...2020-05-2007 minCoffee with a TherapistType One (The Perfectionist) of the Enneagram In Love / Romantic RelationshipsToday on #coffeewithatherapist, we are talking about type 1's (also known as the "reformer" or perfectionists) in love - their tendencies, ways of expressing emotions, etc. If you have no idea what I'm talking about when I say "Enneagram type 1" refer to the bottom of this and take the short RHETI test to find out more about the 9 types (and what YOUR type likely is). Type #1's in love: you require a lot of reassurance that you are appreciated just for being yourself. You need this reassurance often because you are SO hard on yourself. You'll...2020-05-1906 minCoffee with a TherapistThe Enneagram Types in Love (An Introduction)Hello all the types! On today's #coffeewithatherapist, I am in need of more coffee. Jokes aside, I'll be introducing you to the concept of the enneagram, what it is, and the importance of learning about ALL of the types so that we can better understand and be loving and kind to those we love. ------Join me LIVE on coffee with a therapist on Facebook live Mon-Fri at 9:15 am CT or listen to it via the "Yellow Brick Therapy Podcast" (available on most podcasting platforms).Enjoy having coffee with me? SUBSCRIBE to upgrade your relationship...2020-05-1806 minCoffee with a TherapistStop Trying to Love Your Body (Why Positive Body Image is Overrated) from an Eating Disorder TherapistFirst, BEFORE the blasphemy ensues -- I want to be clear that I am not "anti-positive body image" - if that has been helpful for you, that's a wonderful thing. I have found that my clients who have eating disorders (and those who simply struggle from negative body image or low self-esteem) benefit more from focusing on all of the wonderful parts of them that are not tied to "what their body LOOKS like" vs. trying to love what their body looks like. They also heal the parts of them that overly tie their body image (or what they look...2020-05-1508 minCoffee with a TherapistGetting Over a Breakup or A Long-Term RelationshipToday on #coffeewithatherapist, we are talking about how to get over a break-up and some tangible ways to evaluate what you'll need to work on before getting into another relationship.The most loving thing that we can do for ourselves and our potential future partners after a break-up is to work on healing past relationship wounds. If we gloss it over, move on quickly or push down our feelings by acting out (drinking, one-night stands, disordered eating, over-working) or jump into a relationship quickly without healing, we will take those relationship wounds into our next relationship and it...2020-05-1407 minCoffee with a TherapistHow do I build or rebuild trust in people after they've hurt me?Today on #coffeewithatherapist, we are talking about how we specifically build and rebuild trust with people over time after we've been hurt by them. For more on what trustworthiness is, please refer to my previous podcasts on the components of trust and trustworthiness.For some people, they struggle with trusting others too fast, and others struggle to never trust a person ever. In this video, we talk about a visual and measurable(ish) way to build trust over time without it taking too long or being something that happens overnight. We also talk about what it may look...2020-05-1306 min
Coffee with a TherapistHow to Make A Long-Distance Relationship Work"How do make a long-distance relationship work?" on #coffeewithatherapist.Today we are talking about 3 different components to consider when deciding to enter into a long-distance relationship and how to make them work if you do decide you want to be in a long-distance relationship.Long-distance relationships are different than the normal close proximity relationships. Spontaneity and quick connection are not an option. Intention is crucial. We also have to be real with ourselves about our capacity and desire to be in a long-distance relationship or how much time we can feasibly spend apart from loved ones...2020-05-1206 minCoffee with a TherapistHow to deal with people that don't like you or that you don't likeToday in #coffeewithatherapist we are getting real. We are getting vulnerable. Dealing with people you don't like or who don't like you is hard. Part of dealing with people means doing the hard thing of having compassion and empathy for someone that doesn't like you or you don't like. For me, it's a little easier to have compassion for the "haters" or people that don't like me, but it can be harder to have compassion for those that I DO like. In this video, I share my own struggles and the ways I've reframed things so that I can have...2020-05-0806 minCoffee with a TherapistWhen Family or Parents Aren't Emotionally AvailableIn today's #coffeewithatherapist, we talk about something that comes up time and time again in my sessions. What if my parents or family members aren't emotionally safe, emotionally available, or there for me? Many people have at least one family member who isn't emotionally available. It's hard because often we REALLY want this emotional attachment, but cannot get it from "blood related" relatives. Luckily, we CAN get these needs met internally and through other "non-blood related" people who are emotionally safe and available. Join me LIVE on coffee with a therapist on Facebook live Mon-Fri at 9:15 am CT...2020-05-0605 minCoffee with a TherapistCognitive Distortions and Anxiety during COVID-19Today's #coffeewithatherapist is ALL about cognitive distortions that people are having during COVID-19 and the pandemic. These cognitive distortions include things like mental filtering, drawing false conclusions (usually about people), and catastrophizing. I'm seeing this anxiety not only in my clients, but also in the general population and various media sources. What cognitive distortions are you seeing during COVID-19? Can you think of any other examples? Let me know in the comments below. :)Join me LIVE on coffee with a therapist on Facebook live Mon-Fri at 9:15 am CT or listen to it via the "Yellow Brick Therapy Podcast"...2020-05-0504 minCoffee with a TherapistWhen Being Dumped is A GOOD Thing #coffeewithatherapistOn today's episode of #coffeewithatherapist, we talk all about why being dumped or broken up with can actually be a good, positive thing. In this video I go through 3 different reasons why people break up with others that have 100% to do with them and their own struggles and nothing to do with the person they break up with. Usually in break-ups, responsibility can fall on both partners and nobody is perfect. We are all humans figuring out relationships and how to be good partners and honor what is good and healthy for us. Sometimes people break up from neutral places...2020-05-0404 minCoffee with a TherapistWhy People-pleasers / People-pleasing is Selfish #coffeewithatherapistOn today's episode of #coffeewithatherapist, we talk all about how people-pleasing and people-pleasers are not actually being giving (as they think they are) but are pleasing and giving from a place of self-need. Many people-pleasers try to please others because they are needing validation, kudos, or reassurance themselves and not from a "my cup runneth over" place. Today we talk about shifting that mindset and help people-pleasers understand what they need to do to change their "selfish" behaviors and learn to give themselves validation so they can truly be kind and giving to others from a genuine place. As a...2020-05-0105 minCoffee with a TherapistHow to make BIG decisions (from a therapist's perspective) #coffeewithatherapistHappy Thursday! Today we are talking about how to make big decisions. Often people make decisions from a place of fear, "acting AGAINST" someone or something, or from survival mode. Today's episode talks about asking ourselves questions and giving ourselves the time needed to ensure we are making big decisions from a place that is authentic to us. Additionally, I'll talk about giving ourselves grace for making decisions from a place of survival mode (because we've all been there). Join me on coffee with a therapist on Facebook live Mon-Fri at 9:15 am CT or listen to it...2020-04-3007 minCoffee with a TherapistDon't Get Rid of Your Anger #coffeewithatherapistStay angry y'all! In today's episode of #coffeewithatherapist, we talk about why it's important to have our anger, interpret it for it's meaning, and then take actions with self or other boundaries. Our anger gives us a lot of meaningful information and helps us develop a sense of self-worth and self-trust. Join me on coffee with a therapist on Facebook live Mon-Fri at 9:15 am CT or listen to it on the "Yellow Brick Therapy Podcast".Enjoy having coffee with me? SUBSCRIBE to upgrade your relationship with yourself and others. Want me to cover a...2020-04-2906 minCoffee with a TherapistStaying Kind During the Differing Views on COVID19 Quarantine & Re-opening #coffeewithatherapistToday we are talking about navigating the conflict of differing views around the US re-opening and how to set boundaries and communicate in ways where you leave the conversation feeling good. Overall, we all need a little kindness and grace right now as we are facing something we've never faced before and there are no "perfect" clear ways of doing this the "right" way. May you have grace for yourselves and all of us other imperfect humans during this time.Happy Tuesday y'all! Join me on coffee with a therapist on Facebook live Mon-Fri at 9:15 am CT or...2020-04-2806 minCoffee with a TherapistHealing Trust When We've Been Hurt or Betrayed #coffeewithatherapistHappy Monday! Working off of my previous video on the features and traits of trustworthiness, in today's live we explore the self-work we must do to learn how to trust people again (both in our brains and our bodies). Often if we've been hurt in the past, our bodies or reactions will still respond to future triggers of "potential untrustworthiness" by going into anxiety or reactivity mode. The attribution bias is something that often needs to be healed in therapy or with exposure of new, healthy relational experiences.Hope y'all have a wonderful Monday and don't spill your...2020-04-2705 minCoffee with a TherapistStaying Positive During Quarantine and the Stressors of COVID19Good morning! Today we talk about ways we can stay positive despite all of the negative many people are being unindated with during this time of quarantine and isolation. I cover 4 of the most effective (and research-based) tips on re-balancing into having a more positive mindset. Now I'm not one to fluff and pretend like things are all good, we need to hold space for the bad too. But often, people get into an overly negative and pessimistic mindset during times like these, and my hope is for us to find more balance and get back into a "more accurate"...2020-04-2407 minCoffee with a TherapistReaction to the MGTOW movement #coffeewithatherapistGood morning y'all! Today I am doing a response video to a question about my feedback/thoughts on the MGTOW movement (men going their own way). First, I wanted to be clear that I am no expert on these movements (MGTOW and WGTOW) and started my research on it yesterday. However, I did want to provide my feedback on what I understand about people who choose not to marry or be in committed relationships (counter to our culture's beliefs in happily ever after with a significant other). My main takeaway is that it is important for us to look at...2020-04-2307 minCoffee with a TherapistHow do I trust people again after I've been hurt by them? #coffeewithatherapist #3Happy Wednesday! Today we are answering the question, "how do I trust people if I've been hurt by them?". Often times when we've been hurt by people time and time again, we inevitable start losing trust in them. We may even get to the point where we don't seek friendships or relationships at all because "why even bother?" or it feels too risky / painful. Many of us never learned what a trustworthy or emotionally safe person was from our family system or didn't have healthy mentors to fully understand this as well. No mentor is perfect and it's important that...2020-04-2207 minCoffee with a TherapistBoundaries for Friends Venting Too Much? (Coffee w/a therapist #2)What do we do when our friend emotionally vents a lot and we don't have the emotional energy or bandwidth for it? In today's coffee with a therapist, I talk about how to respond to friend's venting and ways we can set boundaries and communicate in a compassionate way what our needs are as the "receivers of venting". If we don't set these boundaries, we may end up feeling resentful and distancing ourselves from our friendships and relationships. Compassionate, assertive communication is key in these scenarios and in protecting your own emotional energy.Thanks for the Q! Feel...2020-04-2104 minCoffee with a TherapistIs Self-Care SELFISH? #Coffeewithatherapist Live #1Happy Monday! Today's live episode of coffee with a therapist was in response to a question I got on Instagram, "What do you do if people think you are being selfish when you add self-care to your life?" First, I want to say that I did feel selfish at first when I began practicing consistent, good self-care. I was so used to giving to others (whether they asked for my help or not) that it felt really strange to give to myself and practice self-care. Here's how you can respond and what it means when someone doesn't LOVE your new...2020-04-2003 min