Shows
Two Dicks in a BarHemorrhoids, Hoosiers, & G.I. JoesThe crew opens with the finer points of personal hygiene before Jesse recounts his freezing, high-as-a-kite trip to Georgia, complete with antique posters warning of "crime, suicide, and prostitution." The conversation takes a sharp turn into the ethics of immigration policy (with some googled stats), before a warm, nostalgic crash landing into the greatest toys of the 80s—from Ewok Villages to Thundercats. It's a rollercoaster from ass-scratching to action figures.
2026-01-221h 06Two Dicks in a BarThe 32-Year-Old Adolescent & The Secret Data CenterAs Jesse preps for a freezing trip to Georgia (and a legendary D&D drink menu), the conversation spirals into the nature of reality itself. Is there a secret government data center under a certain Florida ballroom? Are we living in a simulation post-2012? And why does science now say your brain isn't an adult until you're 32? All this, plus a passionate rant on remote work, resource hoarding, and whether Wile E. Coyote cartoons were ever in black and white.
2026-01-151h 24Two Dicks in a BarScience vs. The Semen DemonsThe dicks are back in your ears and they're tackling the hard-hitting science behind No Nut November. Is there any truth to the "superpowers" promised by online influencers, or is it all just a sticky situation of misinformation? We dive deep into the myths of masturbation, testosterone, and sperm motility. Plus: Jesse's medical saga continues, a bizarre tequila review gets the Al treatment, and we somehow end up discussing the proper way to start a fire and the geopolitical implications of road construction. Just another normal dinner with the dicks.
2025-10-301h 14Two Dicks in a BarTwo Dicks in a Bar: autism theories, hiking, and other ramblings.Join the chaotic banner as the guys discuss Jesse‘s upcoming 42-mile hike (with questionable preparation), RFK’s take on autism, Mike’s winning streak, and Putin‘s ambition. The rest of the space will be filled with Pearl Jam fanboying, USSR nostalgia, and whether Burt Reynolds could have pulled off being Han Solo. Get ready for another episode where the bar tab is the only thing longer than the tangent.
2025-05-011h 47Two Dicks in a BarYou might wanna kick back with a bag of crack for this episode, the Dick’s have.Grab your security blanket and get ready to be inundated with the latest and greatest conspiracy theories. Alex takes control of the crazy train, as it teeters on the edge of the thick Colombian white powdered rails. It’s so Florida, right?! Then, stick around and meet a new friend of the Dicks, Chris the black racist. Not really?… Anyway, Jesse stops suffering fools, Ed correctly confirms quantum entanglement (within a conversation, not scientifically), and… Nate recounts Jesse‘s disappointment in not having a bidet in more public places. :(
2025-03-271h 32Two Dicks in a BarThe aurora borealis, lava shows, and penis museum: And Icelandic adventureWhat happens when you combine Icelandic humor, geothermal, spas, and a museum dedicated entirely to penises? This episode, that’s what! Jesse shared stories from an unforgettable trip to Iceland, including improv comedy shows, freezing cold, plunges, and a deep dive into the countries most unusual museum… The penis museum. The infamous Icelandic, Phallological museum, where animal penises, and penis shaped waffles reign supreme. Get ready for a mix of awe, laughter, and a little bit of WTF as we explore the quirks of this fascinating country.
2025-02-061h 28Two Dicks in a BarJesse‘s northern lights, Mike’s southern retribution tour, and women’s strap on preferences.Warning: this episode will contain strong opinions, unexpected alliances (one of the Dick’s sides with the Cheeto colored Dildo!), and a healthy nuanced dose of strap-on discourse from the female perspective. You’ve been warned. =) smiley face.
2025-01-231h 34Two Dicks in a BarIf AI is planning our deaths, we’ve got plenty of time, just ask Jesse.Enjoy contemplating different types of apocalypses, naming sex acts, and rating the sexiness of killers? Then this is the episode for you.
2024-12-121h 07Two Dicks in a BarThe Dicks talk magic pills, Viagra honey, and boner bear gummies. Jump on board!Jesse gets deputized and goes out to do his civic duty…as a poll worker! What kind of shenanigans did he witness while performing this thankless job? Wait no longer, “Thanks citizen!”
2024-08-221h 19Two Dicks in a BarKamala’s VP pick has been decided… Jesse!How many times can the Dicks circle back to the vice presidential pick before realizing, just like white guys, they don’t matter?
2024-08-011h 30Two Dicks in a BarThe Dicks take a shot at a recent tragedy and miss the mark.The Dick’s talk soccer! But only for a moment before shifting to shootings, project 25, J. D. Vance, and Mike’s latest addition to his hit list. Then Jesse unceremoniously cuts off Quiet Chris’s explanation of the meaning of life. Thanks Jesse.
2024-07-1858 minTwo Dicks in a BarMike’s kill list on full display! Tune in.The Dicks discuss body swapping. Which Dick would rather be Colin Jost, and which would rather be Scarlett Johansson? Or are they both Jesse?
2024-07-1157 minTwo Dicks in a BarKicking someone off the cast is easier than out of Jesse‘s adult campground! Or is it?Hey Mr. Charlie Kirk, the dicks have slapped you across the face with the proverbial glove! Come on down and debate loser!
2024-06-1357 minTwo Dicks in a BarJesse‘s ready to run for office… Listen to those old episodes before they get erased.The Dicks discuss Jesse‘s political aspirations, the college protests, the coming TikTok ban, huffing, abortions, self cutting… you know, a Fox News top 10 list of what’s destroying America
2024-05-0259 minTwo Dicks in a BarOJ dies, but we only want to chase Jesse‘s SesacLot lizards, Trump, and other things that suck up to Truckers
2024-04-1859 minTwo Dicks in a BarFor your consideration, the Dicks give you, the Jesse birthday episode!Jesse gets distracted by Mike’s need for alcohol and his story suffers terribly because of it, but… We get drinks. Huzzah!
2024-03-2158 minTwo Dicks in a BarFlower versus vape? This might be the decision between homelessness and sleeping on Jesse‘s lawn.Two out of three dicks agree, the world is leaving everyone behind. Two out of three dicks, agree, having kids is a waste of money. Two out of three dicks, agree, cast will eat your eyes out of your skull after you die. Pick one and invite your friends that disagree.
2024-02-291h 57Two Dicks in a BarEd reviews Tool as Jesse got reviewed. Guess who got one star.The Dick’s hear about Jesse‘s upcoming camping trip with the kids, and Disc Golf. Lots of Disc Golf. We’re sorry, too much Disc Golf.
2024-01-2558 minTwo Dicks in a BarStrap-on as the dicks discuss Build-A-Bear for adults. Ball gag anyone?The dicks get into a podcast discussing how an individual’s inability to face grief leads him to put his mother’s likeness into AI. OK, it’s not AI, it’s a large language model. Fine damn Jesse!
2023-11-2359 minTwo Dicks in a BarThe Dicks talk dating while naked, cat calls, and hand jobs. Cuz we classy yo!Everyone’s favorite, “Jesse’s podcast podcast update” brings catcalls to center stage before learning about Mike’s debilitating disappointment in the world’s degradation of appointment setting.
2023-11-0259 minTwo Dicks in a BarHairy things show up… i.e. poor driving, celiac disease, & MarloweThe dicks are excited to welcome the new speaker of the house, and finally Jesse‘s cave of bones.
2023-10-2756 minTwo Dicks in a BarJesse’s mushroom tip…I mean trip!Trip!The Dinka are all about everything…except jinxing Mel Brooks. We did not jinx Mel! We hope. Oh, and two disco spontaneously sing Norwegian Wood, go Beatles.
2023-09-1458 minTwo Dicks in a BarJesse’s podcast - podcast update!The dicks make sure a gambling intervention isn’t necessary breakdown, political systems around the world, and Jesse gets a new nickname…
2023-09-0758 minTwo Dicks in a BarJesse has to pee. This episode title is unimportant in the grand scheme of things.The dicks talk good subs, the rise of the golf cart culture, and mascots in the Florida region.
2023-08-2457 minTwo Dicks in a Bar86 this episode… too on the nose?The Dicks discover the genesis of ALL conspiracy theories! Jesse did end up joining a cult, Ed joins the 80%, and Mike joins the shade, frowned upon by others that work in the solar panel industry. Byeeeeeaaaah.
2023-08-1756 minTwo Dicks in a BarThe heat makes everything slow, except death. It speeds up death.The dicks mainly complain about the Florida heat, but you also get an unrequested look into the inner workings of the bar, Jesse’s cult contemplation, and your new retirement plan.
2023-08-1056 minTwo Dicks in a BarShanking, stabbing, and striking….the Dicks cover it all.Still contemplating the chicken or the egg debate? Worried about the writers’ and whether they’ll get what they deserve? Still… the Dicks got you covered. Fine, Jesse! I’ll capitalize DICKS. =)
2023-07-1359 minTwo Dicks in a BarThe Dicks discuss how the hottest day on record turned into one of the highest shooting days on record. Go Guns!!Mike gets some job-hunting advice, we hear about Jesse’s Father’s white world album theory, and Indiana Jones makes his way into Jesse’s holiday weekend.
2023-07-0659 minTwo Dicks in a BarThe two dicks are all up in human nature and the Florida legislatureNow on display, Jesse’s Ill-timed marathon, his ex-wife’s porn-star boss, and his arachnophobia. Guess which one will be screaming back into your ear holes next week.
2023-06-3059 minTwo Dicks in a BarPolitics? We don’t need no stinkin’ politics.The dicks aren’t distracted by the local GOP race, instead Jesse gives away a great car club idea, and Ed reveals if he killed any animals over the last week.
2023-06-0855 minTwo Dicks in a BarThe Dicks get Pinocchio to lie in the bedroom, try the long pig.The upcoming solar storm is going to test Jesse’s eyesight into the quantum realm
2023-05-1859 minTwo Dicks in a BarGuest dick and local funny man Brett Morris,sits in while the dicks discuss vacationing, Ukrainian roulette, & Ed’s feetThe dicks discover Jesse’s new prideful side hustle and why it’s better to be the suckee than the sucker
2023-04-1456 minTwo Dicks in a BarTwo dicks recall bad dates, bedroom talk, and the money shotAfter hearing about someone’s mothers history of being a nun, the dicks got into explaining “Cosby sweater sex,” and heard an eerily similar story, # fruitypebbles
2023-03-2358 minTwo Dicks in a BarExecute order 66! Two dicks discuss Darth Maul, dark places, and damaged pipesCaution: this episode deals with issues of suicide and suicidal ideations. If you or someone you know, is struggling with these topics, please know you are not alone dial 988 and speak to people that care.
2023-03-1658 minTwo Dicks in a BarTwo dicks tackle teachers, TV, & TuckerJoins us while we talk about the Dominion lawsuit with Fox, our recent TV shows we are watching, & students getting out of control over the loss of their switch
2023-03-0255 min2023-02-2357 min2023-02-1655 min2023-02-1657 min2023-02-0957 min2023-02-0256 min2023-02-0253 min2023-01-2658 min2023-01-1958 min2023-01-1257 min2023-01-0555 min2022-12-3059 min2022-12-2258 min2022-12-0958 min2022-10-0659 minTwo Dicks in a BarEpisode 50We talked about a myriad of things this week with Mike on a cruise and Josh joining us
2022-09-3055 min2022-09-2457 minTwo Dicks in a BarEpisode 48Does this podcast leave a bad taste in your mouth, well have some miracle berries and listen to this!
2022-09-1758 min2022-09-1055 minTwo Dicks in a BarEpisode 46We recorded this immediately after the last episode might have been a bad choice.
2022-09-0350 min2022-08-2755 minTwo Dicks in a BarEpisode 44Joshua and Annie join us for discussions about memory and hooking up with cousins (not our cousins)
2022-08-201h 512022-08-1253 min2022-08-0551 min2022-07-0157 min2022-06-1748 min2022-06-0356 minTwo Dicks in a BarEpisode 38Special guest Lou stops by to discuss turn ons, turn offs, and turn outs
2022-05-2753 min2022-05-2053 min2022-04-2955 min2022-04-0134 min2022-03-2555 min2022-03-1157 minTwo Dicks in a BarEpisode 32Against my better judgement we recorded a second episode immediately after the last episode. Listen if you dare!
2022-03-0454 minTwo Dicks in a BarEpisode 31Still trying to come up with a new name and Marlowe and Ed get in a fight.
2022-03-0458 min2022-02-1856 minTwo Dicks in a BarEpisode 29We are back baby! well maybe…. Here and there stay subscribed and tell your friends
2021-07-2253 minTwo Dicks in a BarEpisode 28We are back with Mike but we lost him halfway through to his new girlfriend. We covered a bunch of different topics tonight from our first sexual memories to a possible hamster homicide.
2021-03-191h 412021-02-2632 minTwo Dicks in a BarEpisode 26We talked about the Texas cold front, Ed's wish for a sex doll and some other random topics.
2021-02-191h 24Two Dicks in a BarEpisode 25We are back after 3+ weeks off from covid and other things enjoy and remember to listen for the word of the week
2021-02-121h 36Two Dicks in a BarHere's to 2021Well we had a heated discussion about politics for most of the podcast but we all still walk away friends which is what this country is about being able to discuss things.
2021-01-081h 42Two Dicks in a BarChristmas EpisodeWe tried recording through Facebook live so the sound quality is meh, but enjoy1
2020-12-252h 00
Two Dicks in a BarChristmas EpisodeWe tried this on Facebook live so lets see how it sounds!
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2020-12-242h 012020-12-181h 13Two Dicks in a BarThe day the vaccine droppedWe talked about a lot of random stuff and had a surprise visit from Lou.
2020-12-111h 42Two Dicks in a BarEpisode 19We had more technical issues with the video side so unfortunately some things got cut out. But we touched on some interesting subject and had a good time. Don't forget you can get on our show by leaving a voice message on anchor.fm and if you ask us questions we will be sure to answer. If you prefer to watch we do have a video version on youtube now. Enjoy!
2020-12-041h 03Two Dicks in a BarThanksgiving SpecialWe talked about being grateful and the health benefits of it. We also got in to ways to help make the world a better place and then might have dissolved into some drunkenness. Listen for the word of the week for a free drink this week at Jesse's Xtreme Sports Bar where we record, remember to rate and review us please and enjoy!
2020-11-271h 47Two Dicks in a BarFirst video podcastThis was our first attempt at a video podcast that you can watch on youtube.
2020-11-2045 minTwo Dicks in a BarMeat to MediationWe talked about a lot of different things this week but surprisingly little politics or Covid so that should be a nice break for most people. be sure to stick around to the very end for a bonus segment from after the episode and listen for the word of the week for a free drink. Remember to give us five stars on apple podcasts and tell your friends!
2020-11-132h 31Two Dicks in a BarSh*t Show 2020So someone recently asked me when the next episode was coming out, and I have to say be careful what you wish for. This episode pretty much went the way of 2020 so far. Started out funny and good times then went a little dark but at the end I believe we brought it back together. It is a really long episode but I guess that happens when we take a break for awhile. I forgot to mention it in the episode but please rate us on apple podcasts or whatever platform you listen to us on and tell your frien...
2020-11-063h 29Two Dicks in a Bar#Black Lives MatterThis week we get a little tipsy since it’s been awhile and and went down a strange rabbit hole about what matters.
2020-06-251h 52Two Dicks in a BarTwo Dicks Talk Statute of LimitationsTwo Dicks brave the elements to bring you your weekly bar ramblings so you don't have to risk contamination.
2020-03-191h 31Two Dicks in a BarTwo Dicks Talk Anything but Corona Virus and PoliticsJust the drunk ramblings of your average dicks in a bar. We really didn't have any focus this week but listen in for our new sponsor.
2020-03-121h 16Two Dicks in a BarTwo Dicks Talk current eventsThis weeks episode we talked about politics, corona viruses, and other random things that came up
2020-03-052h 14Two Dicks in a BarTwo Dicks Talk sound issuesNot sure how well this one came off. we are still trying to perfect our sound quality please listen and let us know. We had some technical issue in the middle.
2020-02-271h 03Two Dicks in a BarTwo Dicks talk Billy’s short comingsValentine’s Day recap, mikes visit with his brother, Ed reads a poem from my favorite Ren-Fest artist, and other random bar talk
2020-02-202h 042020-02-2000 minTwo Dicks in a BarTwo Dicks talk Psychedelic Honey, Erectile Dysfunction, and Corona Virus2 dick turn into 5 dicks talking about everything from online dating to porn experiences. Just like every episode so far we run the gamut of topics.
2020-02-131h 46Two Dicks in a BarTwo Dicks Talk KKK & CaucusesKKK conversions, Mardi Gras stories, and making fun of special guests. We went long this week and maybe a little political but trust me it's worth it to hang on to the end. Welcome to Two Dicks in a Bar.
2020-02-062h 07Two Dicks in a BarTwo Dicks Talk Underwear on the PillowMarriage term limits, Go fund me top 5, AI helping Mike from the Casino getting laid, Special pop in Guest Sherri and Trivia from Kara.
2020-01-311h 04Two Dicks in a BarTwo Dicks talk literary eroticaAt the bar talking about Anne Rice Erotica, books vs. movies, and banning Andres
2020-01-231h 26Two Dicks in a BarTwo Dick’s Take twoOur second attempt at this episode because my iPad locked up the first take
2020-01-1643 min2020-01-0921 minTwo Dicks in a BarTwo Dicks talk Baby Yoda and sphincters alive!Just another Wednesday night at Jesse’s Xtreme sports bar
2020-01-0945 minTwo Dicks in a BarTwo Dicks chatting at the barEd and Jesse make a pod cast of just us chatting at the bar and trying to figure life out.
2019-12-2146 min