Shows
Krynoid PodCast134: Fury From The DeepScream if you want to leave faster! That seems to be Victoria's tactic as she sobs, whimpers and shrieks her way out of the show in Fury From The Deep. Indeed, old Leather Lungs' prodigious output is harnessed to harass some killer kelp and make its human puppets less weedy – even beating the expert man-mismanager John Robson for decibels in the process. Jamie opts out of a foam party and, for a change, it's the Doctor who can't control his chopper. Meanwhile, Mr Wint and Mr Kidd need to rethink their de...
2020-10-153h 03
Krynoid PodCast133: The Space MuseumA museum? On a planet, you say? Amazingly, that's just where TARDIS brings Doctor Who and chums in The Space Museum. But the problems here are worse than an expensive gift shop, a blocked urinal or a coach party of feral school kids. For the planet Xeros is occupied by the moaning Morocks, a race only slightly less pathetic than the indigenous teenage beatniks, among whom subjugation raises barely/only an eyebrow. And our plucky travellers have problems of their own, chiefly their future starring roles in the most boring tourist...
2020-09-162h 20
Krynoid PodCast132: Colony In SpaceA bit of holiday advice from the Green Cathedral: better a staycation in Blighty than a sojourn on Uxarieus, a planet more miserable than Raymond Cusick at a Dalek memorabilia auction. But this monochrome blob of clay is surprisingly sought after, with hairy hippies and corporate breadheads alike fighting to the death over it. And perhaps the indigenous residents might even feel they have a claim to the land. Not that anyone cares about that, of course. As well as providing mud, rain and a single flower, Uxarieus offers a mother lode of...
2020-08-163h 38
Krynoid PodCast131 The DominatorsAs travel restrictions relax, maybe it's time to give Cully's Adventures Unlimited a whirl? His ship's a bit of a squeeze but the elderly Lothario can secretly sail you to the enticing Island of Death with its distinctive countryside, prestigious museum and friendly fellow tourists, The Dominators. Their Quarks are as cheesy as they sound – and they sound ridiculous. Nevertheless they're more than capable of duffing up the docile Dulkians, who are wetter than a Sea Devil's shower cap. TV's Brian Cant offers some resistance for a while but then departs fo...
2020-07-183h 12
Krynoid PodCast130: Image of the FendahlMany of you may still be locked up with your family but, with any luck, your house-mates don't include a glowing alien skull, a gun-toting Teuton and a creepy occultist. Even Benylin Bandersnatch's mum would be of little comfort, haunted as she is by a noisy, slimy creature (named Adam Colby). The TARDIS team come to the rescue but K9's lost his voice, Leela's lost some of her hair and the Doctor's lost his ability to distinguish Jelly Babies from Liquorice Allsorts. Luckily, the Tylers (not those Tylers!) are on...
2020-06-152h 34
Krynoid PodCast129: Paradise TowersFeeling trapped in your home with limited entertainment and an uncertain world outside? Well maybe you can sympathise with the residents of Paradise Towers – a horrible high-rise housing low-rent war machines, an apparently tin Hitler, omnivorous OAPs and TV's most amateur and least dramatic junior AmDram group. The Doctor wants answers, Mel wants a dip and Kroagnon wants a mass eviction order. Familiarly, it's reds versus blues with the yellows invisible (robot crabs included). So did Paradise Towers build Jim and Martin's happiness high or did they feel unalive by the en...
2020-05-232h 59
Krynoid PodCast128: Marco PoloWith all of us seeing rather too much of our immediate locales at the moment, what better time to come with us on a voyage through old Cathay? That said, our TARDIS team may have preferred to self-isolate from their travelling companions – a thieving Venetian and a Machiavellian Mongol. On this trip of a lifetime, our magic caravanners must face frostbite, poisoning, thirst, a surfeit of sand and some interpretive dance. The Doctor gets hysterical, Susan gets a friend, Ian gets a go at cherchez la femme and it all gets a...
2020-04-153h 06
Krynoid PodCast127: The Leisure HiveIn need of a holiday in these trying times? Where better than Space Fawlty Towers on the nuke-shagged planet of Argolis? Answer: almost anywhere. For The Leisure Hive is a place where reptiles skin up, guests are dismembered and squash players lose their balls. Romana gets a new lab partner, the Doctor gets an old face and K9 regrets his attempt to become a salty sea dog. The First Lady doesn't bat a green eyelid when her husband spills his seed and dies. Instead she hooks up...
2020-03-153h 19
Krynoid PodCast126: The Power of the DaleksSo you want to continue your successful show but need to recast your leading man. What do you do? Why you make it as difficult as possible for your bemused audience to accept him, of course! The Power of the Daleks sees impish impostor Pat Troughton cackling evilly, talking about himself in the third person and doing his very best to disingratiate himself with the good cop / bad cop companions, Polly and Ben. Luckily there are some seemingly servile Daleks to distract their attention, along with some crafty colonists, an increasingly...
2020-02-193h 29
Krynoid PodCast125: EarthshockWe start 2020 with an ending. Loathe him or hate him, Adric has been a big part (prat?) of 80s Who but all things must pass, however indigestible. Yes, this is Earthshock, which packed a couple of major bombshells back in the day (not counting Beryl Reid). It's a tale of pointless deaths, some equally pointless characters and gender fluid troopers (many of them genuinely fluid by the time the murderous mime act has finished with them). The Doctor promotes fine dining, Tegan packs heat, Nyssa plays house and Adric ploughs into...
2020-01-163h 44
Krynoid PodCast124: The Armageddon FactorIn our December episode, Jim and Martin ease themselves into Whuletide by settling down to watch The Black and White Guardian Show. It's something of a festive feast, featuring as it does Rudolph the Two-Nosed Shadow, a space Trotter on hols from ver Big Smoke and some props which look suspiciously like they've come out of a Christmas cracker (along with some of the jokes). The wicked Marshal gets advice from his mirror while our fairy tale princess is prepared to be part of a crystal to get the part of Romana. She's...
2019-12-193h 54
Krynoid PodCast123: Planet of the Spiders"No, I shan't… you shan't take him!" Jenny Laird crashes out of the running for her own award in the arachnophobe's nightmare that is Planet of the Spiders. It's a tale of a tweedy traitor, yogic flying, mind-altering jewellery and more creepy crawlies than you can shake a rolled-up newspaper at. The Brig blushes, Sarah rushes (between two stories) and Mike Yates saves face while the Doctor loses his. Would you buy a used watch from the Brigadier? Was Mike Yates already doing exotic dancer exercises? ...
2019-11-143h 50
Krynoid PodCast122: The Myth Makers"Mightiest of warriors, greatest in battle, humblest of your servants." Well they do say learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all, Achilles, but this is tendon towards arrogance. Yes, this month it's the swords and sandals epic, The Myth Makers, in which Steven gets a new outfit, Vicki gets a new name and the Doctor gets out of a breezy solo flight into the big city. They meet a jolly Jack Tar, a sotto voce soldier, a shrieking soothsayer and a king who chucks his Troys out of th...
2019-10-142h 21
Krynoid PodCast121: State of Decay"Then die. That is the purpose of guards." It seems that the life of a vampire's chief henchman is no better than that of an Alzarian milkmaid. No wonder he turned to drink. This is 1980's State of Decay, eliciting the cheesiest ever episode of this podcast from The Two Who Fool (About). In a land where rubber bats wheel in an unrealistic green sky, the Doctor stops a door with his nose while Romana prefers to play undead rather than talk to Adric (who walks like he has a second...
2019-09-163h 13
Krynoid PodCast119: The Mysterious Planet"If the rest of his presentation is as riveting as the first little epic, wake me when it's finished." The Trial of a Time Lord goes all meta with one of the riskiest lines in Doctor Who history. The "first little epic" is The Mysterious Planet, in which the Doctor is on remand, Peri (from Marble Arch, USA) is in demand and Joan Sims commands her ragged warriors to carry on dying. Two cockernee New Romantics go on the rob, two Adric-a-likes get on your nerves and the verbose Valyard swallows...
2019-07-152h 59
Krynoid PodCast118: The Massacre "Nicholas only knows the most boring places." He's obviously not acquainted with the Doctor's wardrobe then, which contains... Who knows what? And there's plenty going on in the rest of 16th Century Paris, with a familiar-looking priestly weirdo, a companion's possible ancestor and man-hungry sectarian rats. The Doctor may or may not be in the house but Steven finds that Preslin, the King of germinology, has definitely left the building. What's the Doctor hiding about his mysterious continental city break? Does what happens in...
2019-06-162h 49
Krynoid PodCast117: Warriors of the Deep"There should've been another way." Yup. But when you only have a couple of days, £37.50 and a two-man human centipede, you will inevitably end up with 1984's Warriors of the Deep. But the Doctor still manages to trade his cricket beiges for a daring new beige outfit and some temporal footwear, though Turlough misses out on an early airing of his budgie smugglers. Tegan's troubles are more practical than sartorial, however, when she feels the gossamer weight of a sea base door on her lovely legs. They also encounter the future's u...
2019-05-153h 07
Krynoid PodCastThe Daleks"My legs! My legs!" Zero out of a million on the tact front from Ian, crowing about his pins when surrounded by legless Daleks. Actually, they haven't touched a drop but they have experimented with some freaky hallucinogens from their peacenik neighbours. So this is the TARDIS foursome's first awayday – The Daleks – and where better to visit than a quiet, pollen-free forest with nearby amenities, including free toilet rolls, gratis green grocery and more mercury than you could ever need (especially if you don't need any). But have some Thal...
2019-04-163h 33
Krynoid PodCastThe Greatest Show in the Galaxy"Weirdos!" It's not often that a Doctor Who story reviews Jim and Martin but this is the topsy-turvy world of The Greatest Show in the Galaxy. It's all a bit of a circus as the Ringmaster puts the 'c' into 'rap', a foxy artiste blames it on the moonlight and the Chief Clown grins all the way to the emergency dentist. Ace is victim to some violent conducting and the Doctor prances, prestidigitates and experiences a warm burst on his exit. Peaceful hippy Bellboy makes killer robots, Deadbeat mopes around waiting...
2019-03-153h 46
Krynoid PodCast114 The Sontaran Experiment"I've lost my sonic screwdriver. I feel completely lost without it." Lost? Modern Doctors would need resuscitating. Yes, it's back to basics with The Sontaran Experiment, wherein hairy rock dwellers set traps, chuck rocks and threaten people with hot sticks. Undeterred, Sarah channels Margo Leadbetter, Harry tries out some mucus-based medicine and the Doctor whistles the Spitting Image classic "I've Never Met A Nice South African." Meanwhile Styre suffers from short man syndrome and displays his confusion at having a female boss by torturing men, wearing guyliner and fouling...
2019-02-152h 20
Get Up in the CoolEpisode 126: Jim Childress (Live at Clifftop 2018)Welcome to Get Up in the Cool: Old Time Music with Cameron DeWhitt and Friends! This week’s friend is Jim Childress! Also joining us is former guest of the show Pete Vigour on guitar. This is the last remaining episode from last summer’s Clifftop sessions.
It's Get Up in the Cool Month! Support Get Up in the Cool on Patreon and get cool rewards! Also, please share this link on social media!
https://www.patreon.com/getupinthecool
Tunes we’ll play:
Meadowhawk
Shadowdragon
Eye of the Beholder
Cumberland Gap
2019-01-2352 min
Krynoid PodCast113: The Highlanders"He says he's a frog doctor, sir." Let's have some fanfic where the Troughton and Whittaker Doctors combine forces to heal a lonely amphibian universe. Actually… let's not. No, this is The Highlanders, where you could be excused for thinking the Doctor's bizarre accent was French and that his hat was a Goth's traffic bollard. It's a second outing for the second Doctor but 18th Century Scotland fares poorly on Cosmic Trip Adviser, with its dog biscuits, corked wine and one-star wet room. And you'll find the locals unwelcoming and the En...
2019-01-142h 19
Krynoid PodCastXmas Special 2018: Series 11 ReviewMerry Christmas! And let's hope it stays merry after listening to Jim and Martin discussing the Series 11 episodes not yet covered in the Krynoid PodCast, and then the series as a whole. We play out with John Gonzalez's Christmas-tinged rendition of the Doctor Who theme (find it on YouTube https://youtu.be/6KVhSNS_xU8) Hearty thanks from the Green Cathedral to everyone who's listened, tweeted, retweeted, followed, liked and provided feedback over 2018. We'll be back in January 2019. Until then, Happy New Year!
2018-12-2337 min
Krynoid PodCast112: Invasion of the Dinosaurs"There's your monster maker… Caught in the act." And lo… Barry Letts did advance upon him, spitting tacks and brandishing a rubber T-Rex, with insertion on his mind. Yes, this is yer actual Invasion of the Dinosaurs – a tale of double talk, double-crosses and double denim. The Doctor drives stuff, Sarah discovers stuff and Yates says "Stuff you!" to his UNIT family (and to everyone outside the central London elite bubble). Have the cast been selectively aged and rejuvenated by Whitaker's time experiments? Is the science as shaky...
2018-12-153h 29
Krynoid PodCast111: The Celestial Toymaker "I'm bored." Well, if you can't stand the ennui, get out of the kitchen. Yes, we're in the strange and underfunded world of The Celestial Toymaker where the fun barely starts. The Doctor single-handedly plays the world's worst spectator sport, while Steven and Dodo are forced to tackle 'sighted-man's buff', 'spot the comfy chair' and 'hunt the dramatic tension'. And, if you think Strictly seems to go on forever, try the Toymaker's version, aka They Shoot Time Travellers, Don't They?
2018-11-152h 43
Krynoid PodCast110: The Two Doctors"Boing! Boing!" The unmistakable sound of the bells of Seville (and nothing to do with Peri running down a hillside). So the JN-T holiday charabanc ends up in Spain in 1985 and his latest jaunt promises country yomps, moth collecting and acid sports, with dinner thrown in – several times over. The Two Doctors manage to keep out of each other's way for the most part as Sixie angles for centre stage, leaving his former self to a compulsory makeover, while Peri tries a new accent and Jamie just tries it on. ...
2018-10-153h 26
Krynoid PodCast109: The Faceless Ones"Now go on. Ben can catch his ship and become an Admiral and you, Polly, you can look after Ben." The Doctor reminds Ben and Polly they're back in 1966 – a time (and indeed date) menaced by War Machines, alien shape-shifters, Daleks and gender stereotyping. They also have to contend with dodgy pilots, aliens with zero personality, lethal haberdashery and a cross-dressing Beatles lookalike. The Doctor gets the cold shoulder, Jamie gets snogged, Polly gets duplicated and Ben gets lost, while our plucky quasi-companion plays amateur sleuth, armed only with a sharp to...
2018-09-142h 53
Krynoid PodCast108: The Android Invasion"Is that finger loaded?" A good question because nothing is as it seems in Devesham-on-Oseidon. The horse-brasses are plastic, the dartboard has a functional bullseye and the ginger beer may not be The Real Thing (but its supply is inexhaustible). Then there's Guy Crayford, who has a spacesuit of vacuum-resistant denim, incomplete underpants and an eye-patch which is purely cosmetic. And, behind the scenes, the horny Kraals are eager to spread their infection and have been using fake UNIT personnel for practice. But did Jim and Martin...
2018-08-093h 06
Krynoid PodCast107: Planet of Giants"You've got some of it on your hands and you didn't tell us anything about it. It was very wrong of you, wasn't it?" The Doctor makes Barbara feel small with a little ticking off. Fair enough though - she had almost died from the stiffest of upper lips (and a dangerously unbathed ankle). Eco-whistleblower Arnold Farrow fares even worse with a slug in the chest and a ruined holiday, while his murderer - Mr (D?) Forester - escapes with a burnt aerosol and a bloody nose. But the bloody nosey Hilda and PC...
2018-07-151h 53
Krynoid PodCast106: Terminus"What is this horrendous place?" Well, Nyssa, it's Terminus - a place to which Bor was presumably drawn by nominative determinism. It's a drab old hospital where the porters are metal, the doctors are Goths and the burglars are New Romantics. The Doctor wins a fight, Nyssa loses her skirt and Tegan draws the short straw, what with Turlough staring at her posterior and the extras revealing her upper assets. Did Olvir train at the Wayne Sleep Combat Academy? Is the Doctor's creepy CCTV standard TARDIS issue?
2018-06-163h 07
Krynoid PodCast105: Day of the Daleks"No complications." That infamous moment when the first Ogron on the left accidentally reveals his MENSA potential to his masters but no-one bats a shiny eyelid. Yes, this is Day of the Daleks in which our intrepid TARDIS twosome wine, dine and enjoy a ride, while Yates pulls rank, Benton pulls out of a minor skirmish and the Brig pulls his hair out as he defends world peace from humans and aliens alike while, no doubt, also taking in washing and doing a paper round. Will the Jeep Pronto ever make...
2018-05-153h 04
Krynoid PodCast104: The Krotons"The Doctor's almost as clever as I am." Zoe Heriot may be the Krotons' pet but she must have been expelled from modesty school. Yes, this is The Krotons, a saga of sub-standard scientists, snaky CCTV spies and shouty fridges from another world. The Doctor flunks, Jamie fights and Zoe infuriates while the Gonds lack the gonads to take on their reclusive rulers. Will Beta reveal the secret of transmat to his backward brethren (or is it still at Beta stage)? From which Brummie enclave of Johannesburg...
2018-04-162h 42
Krynoid PodCast103: The Talons of Weng-Chiang"Never trust a man with dirty fingernails." ...Or a face like a Shar Pei's nether regions. Especially if he exacerbates London's rodent problem, takes advantage of young scrubbers and test-drives prototype orgasmatrons. Yes, this is The Talons of Weng-Chiang - a strange (Robert) Holmesian melodrama where people pop poison pills, ventriloquist dummies are hands-free and Birmingham has cornered the Chinese firearms market. Leela takes some clothes, the Doctor takes a boat trip, Jago takes fright and Litefoot takes delivery of a surprise hamper, while Chang prestidigitates, Mr Sin recidivates...
2018-03-152h 55
Krynoid PodCast102: The Savages"I hate conducted tours." Dodo single-handedly sows the seeds of the Doctor Who Experience's eventual demise, way back in 1966. This month we find ourselves in a land where greedy leaders feather their own nests at the expense of the downtrodden underclass. And it's much the same in Doctor Who's The Savages, screened some 52 years ago (badum tish!) The Doctor is drained, Steven is ordained and Dodo is reined-in on a world where the big city holds no attraction for our clan of outsiders, a bunch of sapped saps with their very...
2018-02-152h 37
Krynoid PodCast101: Delta and the Bannermen"Let's make this baby fly!" Said the uncool and un-Welsh Welsh rock 'n' roller Billy, who refrains (perhaps disappointingly) from drop-kicking the Chimeron child over the Shangri-La camp's Olympic size swimming pool. Yes, it's time to take a look at the distinctly odd Delta and the Bannermen, a tale of a baffling bee-keeper, unnecessary Americans, a shot-down stand-up and life-size plastic soldiers with lockjaw. When will Ray realise that she's barking up the wrong tree? When will Billy realise he's sniffing around the wrong species? Will the Bannermen have a whip r...
2018-01-152h 10
Krynoid PodCast100: The War Games"You have returned to us, Doctor. Your travels are over." But thankfully not forever. It was, indeed, a long way from being all over. So Jim and Martin stagger to their century milestone with their biggest story yet, The War Games. It's an epic tale of trials, tribulations, heavily corrected (and impaired) vision, and a Very. Stupid. Voice. The Doctor plays with fridge magnets, Jamie plays the fool, Zoe plays Villa like a violin and the War Lord plays with his real live toy soldiers - and gets a P...
2017-12-143h 32
Krynoid PodCast098: Nightmare of Eden"I don't work for anybody. I'm just having fun." Not so much fun for the cold turkeys, the cattle-prodded Mandrels and the eviscerated punters on the good ship Empress though. Yes, this is Nightmare of Eden and 'nightmare' could be seen as an apposite epithet by the crew and viewer alike. It's a heady cocktail of spiked drinks, unfortunate zips and insurance policy wordings. K9 needs some obedience classes, the Doctor shrieks about his extremities and Romana gets a nasty love bite (but not as nasty as her dress), while Tryst...
2017-10-152h 24
Krynoid PodCast097: Terror of the Autons"I am usually referred to as the Master." Or some very slight variation thereof. Terror of the Autons is a story where a bloomin' cockernee is masquerading as an Italian, a Time Lord as an astral Mr Benn, Autons as an army of Frank Sidebottoms, and the man himself as BT's most sackable employee. Yet the Master can't muster the energy to think up an even vaguely misdirecting pseudonym. Plenty of imagination elsewhere though with unfriendly neighbourhood Bobbies, dolls that are a bit too clingy, armchairs that give you a hug, a...
2017-09-162h 35
Krynoid PodCast096: The Time Meddler"I'm not a mountain goat and I prefer walking to any day. And I hate climbing." If you think Steven Moffat era Doctor Who taxes the mind, imagine being part of the 1965 audience and having to decode anagrams of the scripted lines on the fly. And the mind is boggled in many other ways by The Time Meddler. How can an 11th Century monk have a wristwatch, electric stove and gramophone? Has the BBC lost the plot? Has Dennis Spooner been hot-spooning? Or perhaps the pee-drenched padre is to blame and thus a l...
2017-08-142h 06
Krynoid PodCast095: The Stones of Blood"It's getting rather exciting, isn't it?" Well mileage may vary and opinions certainly differ a wee bit between your intrepid hosts on this one. For it is The Stones of Blood, a tale of vampiric slabs, a reclusive mistress-villain with a morbid fear of lemon sherbets and the latest mismatched cop duo - Android and Wirrn. The Doctor wears a barrister's wig, Romana sports a chav cap and Vivien Fay shows off her deep silver tan. Professor Rumford forgets her words (and her bra) but remembers her truncheon, and K9 spills...
2017-07-152h 25
Krynoid PodCast094: The Twin Dilemma"I am the Doctor... whether you like it or not." Ahem... awkward! Yes, this is Colin Baker's debut debacle as the Doctor, The Twin Dilemma. A tale of a Hurndall understudy in a dress, two bratty bowl-cut brain-boxes, pestilent parrot people and a hairy slug with an inter-species libido. And, at its centre, we have our 'hero' who tries to bluster, cower, whine and strangle his way into our hearts, and his poor sidekick, who has probably never felt quite so sidelined - or quite so kicked. B...
2017-06-142h 35
Krynoid PodCast093: The Macra Terror"No-one on the Colony believes in Macra! There is no such thing as Macra! Macra do not exist! There are no Macra!!" Well maybe stop going on about them so much then? He's right though. This colony is lovely - except for the brainwashing, harrowing jingles, cheerless cheerleading, occupational hazards and the ministrations of hit security group, Ola and the Bootboys, that is. Oh and the Macra, of course. Not that there are any Macra. Or are there...? Well, yes there are, as the name of the story implies, a...
2017-05-142h 12
Krynoid PodCast092: Inferno"You're liable to wake up Old Nick going that deep!" And imagine old Nick's horror when he woke up after a BBC stag do and found that someone had given him a comedy eye-patch and a joke shop scar. But it's not just the Brig who's had an unsympathetic makeover in Inferno's alt-right universe. Cuddly Sergeant Benton is now brutal bastard Benton and lovely Liz has adopted a nasty wig and an equally nasty attitude. Professor Stahlman, of course, is equally gittish wherever you find him, but Greg Sutton's sexist tendencies have been...
2017-04-142h 56
Krynoid PodCast091: Castrovalva"What are you concealing from me, boy?" Not enough, some might say, for this is Castrovalva - where Master Waterhouse introduces the innocent and unsuspecting viewer to "Little Matthew" . But that's not the only harrowing element of the Fifth Doctor's first outing. The Time Lord himself is made incompetent (and incontinent?) by his regeneration but still gets to go on a self-propelling wheelchair and pulls off decent impressions of his former selves - and Basil Fawlty (the War Hotelier). Tegan gets hot and bothered, Nyssa gets moist and, of course, Adric ha...
2017-03-152h 34
Krynoid PodCast090: Underworld"Whatever blows can be sucked." Not The Creature From The Pit this time but a story which could be said, in American vernacular, both to 'blow' and to 'suck'. It's Underworld - a production so maligned that even most of the sets refused to participate. A CSO mother lode in which Minyans are led by Minions, the proletariat dine on the very rock they mine and gravity does precisely whatever the hell it likes. Meanwhile, Gwyneth Paltrow gets a drastic makeover, Mr Dors takes it lying down and Leela takes a fancy to a b...
2017-02-152h 42
Krynoid PodCast089: The Edge of Destruction"If anything happens, let me know." What do you get if you have two episodes to fill with no guest actors and no new sets? Well in the weird world of Lime Grove 1964, you get The Edge of Destruction - a veritable cryptic crossword with clues from another, different cryptic crossword. This is, of course, the one where Susan turns sinister scissor sister, Ian seems to have been at the TARDIS brown ale, the Doctor - even with a head wound - still wins Gallifrey's Fastest Butler, and poor old Babs has to...
2017-01-151h 49
Krynoid PodCast087: The Crusade"I'll turn the world we know into your enemy!" Confusingly, this isn't The Enemy of the World but in fact The Crusade - a swords and Saracens saga of identity theft, cross-dressing and honey traps. The Doctor is courting intrigue, Ian is caught in a sticky situation and Vicki is caught out cosplaying. Meanwhile Barbara and Princess Joanna are treated like sacks of flour and El Akir should surely be sacked for abusing his Emir's position - not to mention his long-suffering staff. There's also room for the sage Saladin, the smitten Saphadin and...
2016-11-132h 09
Krynoid PodCast086: The Creature From The Pit"She tipped the ambassador into a pit and threw astrologers at him." Public Notice: Beware of low-flying Russell Grants. What else could this be but 1979's The Creature From The Pit? It's a somewhat green-tinged tale about an enormous slug who, despite being chucked down a pit and starved, still seems very pleased to see us. He shares the dank depths with Catweazle's charlatan cousin but they're soon joined by a somewhat over-stretched stuntman, a sweaty Doctor, a haughty Romana and a tin dog in the middle of an identity crisis. Bad enou...
2016-10-152h 35
Krynoid PodCast085: The Web of Fear"I shouldn't be down here at all, really. Driver, I am. See?" Yes, perhaps it would be better if you were absent, Evans. You certainly drive everyone up the wall. But the Welsh wimp is not the only peril in the London Underground in 1968's The Web of Fear. The slimmer-line Yeti now sling more web than Spidey, Professor Travers is now an old duffer cum Yeti whisperer, Harold Chorley is the obsequious and unacceptable face of the gutter press and somewhere a filthy traitor is at work... Luckily, Colonel Lethbridge-Stewart is at hand...
2016-09-132h 57
Krynoid PodCast084: Arc of Infinity"Rondel - intergalactic region devoid of all stellar activity" So how come it feels like we've gone on location to Rondel, rather than Amsterdam? There's certainly a lack of activity in Arc of Infinity - and a less than stellar cast, if it comes to that. But at least we have a trigger-happy Nyssa, a new look (but, alas, same personality) Tegan and a Doctor who seems to be staining his whites with more than grass. And they're up against a naughty, helium-powered Time Lord, a swarfega-spewing 'mystery' renegade and something which appears to have...
2016-08-152h 45
Krynoid PodCast083: Frontier in Space"Oh, how very embarrassing!" That's what the unsuspecting viewer probably said in 1973 when the so-called "large and savage reptile" hoved into view at the top of the Ogron quarry. If only there'd been enough budget to show more than its dangly bits... But close your eyes for those couple of seconds and Frontier in Space will reward you with many riches. For where else can you find the third Doctor in hoisty judo slacks, Jo in platform baseball boots and Delgado's Master in a Dracula-collared PVC number with Dalek logo? And w...
2016-07-153h 14
Krynoid PodCast082: The Face of Evil"Well now, it seems I have been here before." You have: Planet of Evil. Well... only up to a point. Sure the red-outlined empty creatures from the id are here again but this time they have Tom Baker's distinctive fizzog. As does the local equivalent of Mount Rushmore (although the DVD cover features someone else entirely, for some reason...). And cheap terrifying invisible monsters are causing a rumble in the jungle again, but this time they're accompanied by sultry space savage turned stowaway, a shape-throwing shaman whose hat fits like a glove, a chief...
2016-06-132h 47
Krynoid PodCast081: The Sensorites"I rather fancy that's settled that little bit of solution." OK, that's Billy going way off piste again but six-part saga The Sensorites is all about solutions. A remarkably serene Susan is the solution to an impasse on a spaceship, the devious Doctor finds the solution to a municipal malaise and the unlucky Ian drinks a solution which may well have previously passed through half a dozen Sensorites. These frisbee-footed, central-hearted denizens of the Sense-Sphere are a strange bunch. Even without eyelids, they seem blinkered to everything that's going on. And, ill-equipped as they ar...
2016-05-173h 08
Krynoid PodCast080: Ghost Light"Professor... what's going on?!"
Good question, Ace.
The last ever classic Who story to be recorded, Ghost Light, is something of a period-piece puzzle - with a few pieces missing.
But it does include dinner-suited monsters, gun-toting maids, an insane explorer, a simian sermoniser and a Neanderthal butler (doesn't every home have one?). This madhouse is presided over by a dusty but upwardly mobile photophobe, with high treason on his ever-evolving mind.
But he doesn't bargain on the devious Doctor and the arsonous Ace, ably abetted by a racist rozzer and an uncon...
2016-04-152h 43
Krynoid PodCast079: Meglos"Haven't I seen you somewhere before?"
Dunno. Have you watched The Golden Voyage of Sinbad?
Hurrah! It's double helpings of Tom Baker in 1980's Meglos, one bristlier and greener around the gills than the other.
It's a saga of succulents, savants and power supplies wherein Romana is fondled by a bunch of flowers, K9 is assaulted by a bunch of light opera extras and the Doctor is plagued by a bunch of pricks.
Debate rages between the Wigs and the lunatic fringe and the poor man's John Le Mesurier is caught dithering...
2016-03-281h 58
Krynoid PodCast078: The Power of Three"There are soldiers all over my house and I'm in my pants."
Not what happened during the recording of this podcast episode but a mildly diverting moment from The Power of Three - something of an oasis, some might say.
Yes, this is the story of the boring slow invasion. The Doctor's bored, Rory's out of washing powder, Amy sniffs some milk and Brian spends hours sitting around watching the box. Never fear - maybe Kate Stewart's drone (voice, not military hardware) and a half-baked, blink-and-you'll-miss-him hologram will liven things up? And maybe they won't....
2016-03-041h 30
Krynoid PodCast076: Time-Flight"It's not exactly dull travelling with the Doctor."
Not normally, Tegan. Not normally...
But this is the season 19 closer, Time-Flight, in which the Doctor seems to be under heavy sedation, OmNyssia knows all the answers, Tegan remains an air hostess (not that she ever hints at this) and Adric is still dead (mercifully).
The Master is at large too, coercing a plane-full of extras into caressing an inner sanctum, wherein lies a battery crammed full of blokes and an orang-utan's family jewels. He also finds time to co-ordinate a platoon of turd men, all...
2016-01-152h 46
Krynoid PodCast075: Planet of Evil"Usually I only entertain friends in the TARDIS."
Everyone off to the tinselled Type 40 then for some serious wassailing! Like all the best parties, we'll no doubt end up clustered around the food machine.
Yes, it's our snow-capped Christmas 2015 edition in which Jim and Martin cast their occuloid trackers over the 1975 Tom Baker space epic (Forbidden) Planet of Evil and then appraise - but not unanimously praise - the last four episodes of 2015's Series 9, all under the influence of listener-brewed ale!
Many questions arise...
How much chest-hair should Morestran men o...
2015-12-152h 30
Krynoid PodCast074: Vincent and the Doctor"Is this how time normally passes? Really slowly and in the right order?"
No, not a comment from one of our long-suffering listeners but one of the many amusing lines from Vincent and the Doctor, in which the Doctor tilts at wind, Amy is a typical Brit abroad (either shouting at or chatting up the locals) and Alan Van Gogh puts his paintings to a variety of (un)sanitary uses.
Our heroes dodge marauding locals and their bouncing bottoms, skewer a catering-sized invisible chicken and endure both bill stickers and Bill Nighy.
But is the...
2015-11-131h 24
Krynoid PodCast073: Blink"Okay. Not sure but really, really hoping... pants?"
No, not your hosts feeling their presents on Christmas morning but the ludicrously-named Laurence Nightingale in the much-lauded Blink - a tale of kinetic statues, exploding hens, dumbfounding DVD extras and a pro-celebrity wedding.
And it prompts a number of burning questions...
Is it really possible to be unsure of your underwear status?
Is Martin hinting that he lives in a house called Easter Debenhams?
And can people stop saying 'timey-wimey'? Please?
So did the Weeping Angels command Jim an...
2015-10-141h 17
Krynoid PodCastCapaldiCast 9.3 / 9.4: Under The Lake / Before The Flood"This is called The Bootstrap Paradox. Google it."
So now we have to do some homework before settling down to our favourite programme?
Maybe not, as we get an explanation of what's going to happen before (and after) we watch it happen in Before the Flood. Oh for the simpler if more claustrophobic pleasures to be found Under The Lake.
And our pre-titles primer also involves the fourth wall of the TARDIS being demolished and the Doctor turning his amp up to 11 (again).
So Jim and Martin marshal together their views on wha...
2015-10-1349 min
Krynoid PodCastCapaldiCast 9.1/9.2 The Magician's Apprentice / The Witch's Familiar"Supreme Dalek... your sewers are revolting!"
B'dum tish! He's here all week, laydeez 'n' gen'lemen... For the next ten weeks, in fact.
Yes, the Doctor's back on our screens and straight into in a touching but mutually mendacious bromance with Ole One-Eye (or is that Three-Eyes now?)
Davros weeps, the Doctor shreds, Missy larks about and Clara has a communication breakdown, albeit in familiar surroundings. And Snake Face has a roller skate and segway race... with himself(s).
But what's in the Doctor's confession dial? Why does Missy want the Doctor t...
2015-09-291h 00
Krynoid PodCast072: Revelation of the Daleks"That would have created what I believe is called 'consumer resistance'."
True dat, Davros. Much as many people would like to get rid of the occasional relative, eating them rarely presents itself as a viable option.
A Marxist stand-up masquerading as a crap Dee-Jay is also likely to put off customers (even the comatose ones), while melting mutants, hybridised heads and flying Kaled fingers might even prompt punters to look elsewhere than Tranquil Repose for their funerary needs.
Yep, this is Revelation of the Daleks wherein Davros is nought but a head in a tank, Jobel is a spam-h...
2015-09-152h 50
Krynoid PodCast071 The Gunfighters "Let's hope the piano knows it." Merely false modesty from virtuoso ivory ticklers Steven "Regret" Taylor and Dodo "Dodo" Chaplet as we soon discover in the horse-flop flecked epic, The Gunfighters. The Doctor ("Caligari") has a busted tooth extracted but that ain't the only malfunctioning thing coming out of anyone's mouths in this one... no siree! For accents shuttle back and forth across the Atlantic like speeding bullets, often more Tottenham than Tombstone. But can our Doc and his fellow "thesbians" survive the crossfire between the more whiskery (whiskey-ery?) Doc and the Clantons? I...
2015-08-172h 12
Krynoid PodCast070 The Pirate Planet"Dross and baubles!"
A three-word review of The Pirate Planet by the salty cyborg himself?
Perhaps. Not that there's much in the way of baubles, except for a compact and bijou planet made entirely from sweetie wrappers.
But there are some monkish mentalists who need a decent kip, a dangerously incontinent tin budgie and a heaving metropolis of eight souls (or eleven if you include the cosmos's crappiest granddad, his doe-eyed granddaughter and her trigger-happy intended).
Does some semblance of an intellect lie behind the Pirate Captain's relentless ranting? What's his kinky nurse-p...
2015-07-152h 43
Krynoid PodCast069: The Invasion"Isobel... where are yoooouuu?"
Come to that, where is Scooby Doo? Shouldn't he be with those crazy kids in the Big Smoke's syewers (sic) trying to take shots of scary Cyberm'n (one of them's sick).
It's all because of The Invasion, masterminded by perma-winking Tobias Vaughn and his woefully inept sidekick (and arse-kick), Packer.
The Doctor has an eye for a photo opportunity, courtesy of our snappy flapper, but Jamie proves not to be as photogenic as Zoe's spangly bottom, despite his family-friendly weighted kilt. And the jury's still out as to whether his dir...
2015-06-163h 05
Krynoid PodCast068: The Robots of Death"You know, you're a classic example of the inverse ratio between the size of the mouth and the size of the brain."
No, the Doctor isn't addressing your gentle hosts but Martin's favouritest actor ever is on the receiving end.
It's The Robots of Death - a tale of unwelcome bike reflectors, irresistible make-up and ludicrous millinery.
The Doctor and his mousy sidekick, Leela, are in a sand miner and in the frame for the mysterious marigold murders. But who's behind the rubber-gloved death-dealing droids?
The exasperated Uvanov? The bellowing Borg? Sure...
2015-05-152h 32
Krynoid PodCast067: Frontios“The earth is hungry. It waits to eat. I can see them. They are the appetite beneath the ground.”
Mark Strickson now regrets snacking on Daz before shooting his key scenes in the 1984 comedy-woodlice fest, Frontios.
And these unrealistic bugs are not the only threat to our bespectacled cricketer, rabid schoolboy and Australian android from the Ministry of Silly Walks. No, there's a meagre monarch, his gruff 'no man', an oaken Orderly and his whiskery chum from the Village People.
But help is at hand in the form of Mr Raaaaaange (science officer and pro...
2015-04-182h 21
Krynoid PodCast066: The Time Monster"Suffering catfish!"
And they aren't the only ones suffering as Jim and Martin trudge through the lively four-part story The Time Monster, cunningly packaged as a six-part ordeal.
The Doctor dreams of the Master, the Master dreams of universal conquest and Jo dreams of a time when her alien colleague doesn't keep treating her like a particularly backward schoolgirl. Queen Galleia is icy, the Brig is frozen and Benton is a tad chilly in his birthday suit (well that's his excuse anyway).
Windows are left un-cleaned, Yates is doodle-bugged and Future Blackadder is swat...
2015-03-172h 30
Krynoid PodCast065: Warriors' Gate"There are three physical gateways and the three are one. The whole of this domain, the ancient arch, the mirrors. All the gateways are one."
You what? Run that by me again...
Don't expect any more sense than this from anyone else, for this is Warriors' Gate - a tale with dialogue so oblique it makes Samuel Beckett sound like Dan Brown.
It's an odd sort of a place too, wherein suits of armour give history lessons, lion men fail to tip waitresses and everywhere could do with a touch of colour to cheer it up...
2015-02-142h 11
Krynoid PodCast064: The Happiness Patrol (& Last Christmas)“It's all in there somewhere. Caramel, sherbet, toffee, marzipan, gelling agents, it's all in motion.”
No, not a description of Jim and Martin's stomachs on Christmas night but rather the innards of the Kandy Man, part-time lethal confectioner and full-time Bertie Bassett stunt double.
Yes, we're on Terra Alpha, a dystopian colony ruled over by painted Thatchalike, Helen A, and her gun-toting Hen Party, The Happiness Patrol.
The over-athletic Doctor plays the spoons, the occasionally-catatonic Earl plays the harmonica and horrid old Helen A plays with her Fifi - her hermaphrodite wolf-poodle, that is...
2015-01-152h 37
Krynoid PodCast063: The Chase"This game of hide and seek through time is wearing a little thin now."
We couldn't have put it better ourselves, Chesterfield.
Yes, it's the 1965 Dalek story The Chase we're talking about - a tale of bagpipe creatures, a highly annoying hayseed, living vegetation (gasp!), under-utilised plungers and a space pilot with a panda fetish.
The Doctor encounters a robot look-unlike, Ian 'dad dances', Babs plays cowboys and Indians and Vicki laughs like a loon.
The Daleks are no more impressive, hoisting their skirts and staggering through the six episodes in a...
2014-12-152h 31
Krynoid PodCast062: Pyramids of Mars"In my presence, you are an ant, a termite. Abase yourself, you grovelling insect!"
So once again Sutekh's arrogance management classes fail to deliver and he's left in his sub-Saqqaran tomb for a few more centuries, waiting for another gentleman caller.
And he had a lot going for him: a puppet archaeologist, a loyal (if irascible) Egyptian organist, a low-tech PIN-pincher and some busty yummy mummies.
Laurence is wide-eyed, the Doctor is boggle-eyed and Marcus has eyes like piddle-holes in the snow, while Sarah is eyeing an escape route to 1980 (but not the cr...
2014-11-242h 15
Krynoid PodCastCapaldiCast 1.11/1.12 - Series 8 Finale"I am an idiot with a box and a screwdriver." So after 12 weeks of soul-searching and self-scrutinisation, this is the conclusion the Doctor comes to. Not the only disappointment, perhaps, during the two-part Series 8 finale, Dark Water and Death in Heaven. Clara is not the Doctor, Missy is the Master (though perhaps not one worthy of the name) and Dead Danny becomes a Cyberman who saves the world. So far, so predictable. But a Time Lord travelling by Mary Poppins' umbrella, an undead metallic Brigadier and skeletons who become Cybermen after a b...
2014-11-121h 33
Krynoid PodCastDark Water Non-EpisodeNo, we're not saying Dark Water was a non-episode - just that we're not going to do an individual podcast episode on it. Instead, we'll wait until the full two-part Series 8 finale is completed - Dark Water and Death in Heaven - before opening our pie-holes and spewing forth. After 10 weeks straight, we're sure your ears could do with the rest. See you in a week or so... Jim & Martin Krynoid
2014-11-0501 min
Krynoid PodCastCapaldiCast 1.10 - In the Forest of the Night"Farewell to the Ice Age. Welcome to the Tree Age. Possibly." Chilling words (possibly), even to the most ardent of tree-huggers. So the world is covered in trees and the TARDIS is swarming with children in the latest series 8 episode, In the Forest of the Night. The Doctor tries to work out what's going on, Clara tries to remember she's a teacher, Danny tries to dazzle the eye(s) of the tiger and the kids try everyone's patience. Wolves chase people (slowly), Nelson's Column droops and a missing person is found...
2014-10-2930 min
Krynoid PodCast061: Mindwarp"As from today... I can put any brain into any body, anywhere."
Maybe there's finally hope for the Krynoid Pod boys then?
Whether or not they're up for a shaved head and a sex change is another matter but that is the fate of Kiv, chief Mentor and mega-capitalist Sil-botherer, at the expense of poor old Perpugilliam Brown.
Is the scenery of Thoros Beta competing with Old Sixie's coat for day-glo garishness? Can the Lukoser shut his mouth? Come to that, can Brian Blessed shut his mouth? Please.
Mindwarp is the se...
2014-10-242h 00
Krynoid PodCastCapaldiCast 1.9 - Flatline"Why Doctor Oswald, you are hilarious!"
So Clara plays the Doctor, Rigsy plays her companion and the Doctor plays Thing from The Addams Family in the latest series 8 episode, Flatline.
The TARDIS has shrunk and swallowed the Doctor, while rugs are swallowing people and Danny may not be swallowing Clara's tall tales.
Would you sacrifice yourself for the price of a hairband? Would you take a personal call while trying to combat an alien attack in a swinging chair? And can you pull off a TARDIS-backed hermit crab cosplay?
Jim and Ma...
2014-10-2234 min
Krynoid PodCastCapaldiCast 1.8 - Mummy on the Orient Express"Are you my mummy?" Yes, they couldn't resist it. No blitz-dodging, gasmark-wearing nippers this time though, just a rancid old vet that even a decent vet couldn't save. For he is the Mummy on the Orient Express who, despite his state-of-the-art soldiering kit is not really what the passengers had in mind when they were promised "all mod cons". The Doctor plays Poirot, Clara looks in need of a Charleston and Perkins bears an uncanny resemblance to "that disc jockey" (but thankfully not the white-haired Hartnell-alike). Jelly babies are...
2014-10-1545 min
Krynoid PodCastCapaldiCast 1.6 The Caretaker"I'm the new caretaker. John Smith... most people just call me the Doctor." Skilled exponent of the deep cover persona, the Doctor wields a broom and a non-sonic screwdriver in his new-found role as The Caretaker. Naturally, this makes life very difficult for the peripatetic Clara and her new (but already long-suffering) beau, Mr Danny Pink. A Skovox Blitzer is whizzing around disarming policemen and vandalising school property but the real fireworks happen in the TARDIS when Smith-Oswald-Pink triangle finally comes together and seemingly blows instantly apart. Danny gives Clara an ul...
2014-10-0147 min
Krynoid PodCastCapaldiCast 1.5 Time Heist"I hate the architect." Another dose of self-loathing from the Doctor? Or has he just watched 'The Towering Inferno' once too often? Well it's one of many questions and many twists in the oh-so-tricky Time Heist - a tale of the cloned mega-rich, sunken-headed criminals, a love-lorn mind muncher and a motley crue of amnesiac bank robbers. One's a top-drawer impressionist, another is wired for data, and a third might end up being late for a much less important date. All are called to heel by some unnaturally assertive eyebrows. Why ar...
2014-09-271h 01
Krynoid PodCastCapaldiCast 1.4 Listen"Fear is like a companion. A constant companion, always there." And some may think Clara Oswald is always there, in shot. But not Jim and his mystery new podcast companion. They wax lyrical on the rather watchable Listen and ponder tricky dates, misunderstood soldiers and canon attacks. Who wrote on the Doctor's blackboard? Who or what was under the bedclothes? And was there anything outside Orson's spaceship? For the answer to all of these questions, call Steven Moffat. And, while you're on hold, give our epi...
2014-09-1951 min
Krynoid PodCastCapaldiCast 1.2 Into The Dalek"Top layer, if you want to say a few words." Ooh that 12th / 14th / 271st Doctor is a silver-tongued charmer, isn't he? Perhaps being poked into a mental Dalek has upset his equilibrium? Or maybe not. Who knows? Who nose? etc. etc. So Jim and Martin go Into The Dalek and try to discover why the Doctor looks so sheepish, if Clara's was a happy slap, what makes punters qualify for Missy's Heaven and if random words do a character name make. Listen to their aimless pontifications here. ...
2014-09-0833 min
Krynoid PodCastCapaldiCast 1.1 Deep Breath"And don't look in that mirror. It's absolutely furious!" Peter Capaldi is the Doctor and Jim and Martin escape their Classic Who bonds to observe him in his inaugural outing, Deep Breath. It's a Victorian melodrama, featuring a newly-coatless tramp, two attack eyebrows, some amazingly tolerant Londoners and the only restaurant with a negative Michelin star count. Is age just a number? Does offing a clockwork robot count as homocide? And is Murray Gold really playing a kazoo? Find out here. Maybe.
2014-09-0535 min
Krynoid PodCast058: Robot"You may be a doctor but I'm the Doctor – the definite article you might say."
A statement of intent from the fresh and dewy Tom Baker in his first ever story, Robot.
As well as being introduced to the boggle-eyed Bohemian, we continue the Adventures of Sarah Jane Smith, politely clap Benton's latest promotion and discover what the Brig does with his car keys (and more) at the weekends.
If that wasn't exciting enough, we also meet a crazy-haired professor, an unusually silent politician, a camp Neo-Nazi and Dennis Waterman's Hitler...
2014-07-192h 18
Krynoid PodCast056: The Horns of Nimon"Lord Niiiimon… it is I, Soldeed…"
Words to strike terror into every self-respecting Doctor Who fan.
Yes, Jim and Martin scrape the very bottom of the cavernous Who barrel this time and confront The Horns of Nimon.
The budget is low but the camp is oh-so-very high. Tom Baker and Graham Crowden compete to bite the biggest chunks out of the unimpressive scenery, accompanied by the wrong Romana and the incorrect K9, while Janet Ellis longs desperately for her Blue Peter job offer to come through the post.
Marvel as trained dance...
2014-05-212h 29
Krynoid PodCast055: Kinda"You can't mend people!"
Well tell that to a doctor – Who or otherwise.
And the Kinda can mend doolally folk too, turning them from sociopaths to simpletons by simply opening a box. A bit like Deal or No Deal in reverse.
But is Kinda a box of delights or one of Pandora's old cast-offs?
Well, Nyssa's barely in it so that's a promising start but Adric's face freaks Martin out, the presence of both Nerys Hughes and multiple Tegans sends Jim into a priapic frenzy and a moccasin-faced local keeps spouting sp...
2014-04-162h 32
Krynoid PodCast054: The Reign of Terror"The events will happen, just as they are written. I'm afraid so and we can't stem the tide. But at least we can stop being carried away with the flood!"
And there's a veritable flood of unexpected stars in the Season One closer, The Reign of Terror.
Rowan Atkinson captures the younger three-quarters of the TARDIS team, while Jonny Vegas bangs them up. Bill Murray busts them out only for Ian to nearly come a cropper at the hands of Rentaghost's Mr Meaker, who himself has another bust in mind when it comes to Babs.
2014-03-192h 15
Krynoid PodCast052: Logopolis"It's the end… but the moment has been prepared for."
The final words of the boggle-eyed mentalist octogenarian Tom Baker, just prior to being trampled by a crusty ballet dancer and so triggering his metamorphosis into the world's wettest vet.
Jim and Martin start this episode by skewering The Time of the Doctor but then evaluate another regeneration story, 1981's Logopolis.
The fourth Doctor is old and grumpy and the Master is new and campy, while Adric "wunts" to help, Tegan wants to fly a...
2014-01-202h 23
Krynoid PodCastThe Weekend of the Krynoid"I don't want to go!" A popular phrase this Doctor Who 50th Anniversary weekend. And maybe Jim didn't fancy the visit to Martin's house and all the danger that entailed. But there was Who to be celebrated and our intrepid podcasters braved crowds, a clergyman and an under-cooked Dalek cake to pay their respects to the venerable Time Lord. And here's what they made of the veritable (Verity-able?) smorgasbord of Who delights...
2013-11-2644 min
Krynoid PodCast049: The Doctor's Wife
"Like a nine year old trying to rebuild a motorbike."
Not a description of Jim and Martin attempting to produce a remotely professional podcast but the words of a very unusual lady...
Sigh with ennui as Jim and Martin try to understand The Doctor's Wife, despite failing ever to have done so with their own.
Yes, it's that surreal saga where the TARDIS trio land on a friendly planet and witness the exciting new dance duo 'Patchwork People', who put on a memorable show despite possessing three left feet between them.
And where the House Grill speciality i...
2013-10-241h 53
Krynoid PodCast048: The Fires of Pompeii"The great god Vulcan must be enraged. It's so volcanic. It's like some sort of volcano."
Marvel as the next Doctor forges new vocabulary before your very eyes…
Yes, it's Peter Capaldi, in a previous life, as a patriarch who escapes a pumice pummelling. But it's David Tennant as the legendary Time Lord who saves his future self from The Fires of Pompeii, with the aid of his trusty Water Pistol of Death.
It's a tale of armless augurs, stony seers and Sybelline Sisters as born-again Welsh folk Mr and Ms Spartacus end up...
2013-10-011h 47
Krynoid PodCast047: Rose"Lots of planets have a north!"
Yes, the grinning, jug-eared bloke from Northern Gallifrey makes his debut in 2005’s seminal legend-resuscitator, Rose.
Everyone’s favourite chav, the eponymous Rose Tyler, has a bronze medal in under-7s gymnastics, a boyfriend who goes from annoying to plastic to basket case in 45 minutes and a Mum who all but twerks at passing strangers.
No wonder she fancies a spot of travel. But first she must deal with plastic non-students, a disembodied arm, an internet weirdo and an angry vat of custard. These things happen when a be...
2013-09-1300 min
Krynoid PodCast046: Doctor Who - The TV Movie
"This cannot be how it ends!"
Well it damn nearly was.
Yes, it's time to reconsider the 1996 Paul McGann TV Movie, with its gun fights, fist fights, car chases, snogging and schmaltz (no way was this an American production!).
The Doctor is now only half-Gallifreyan with a naff syrup and an Addams Family interior design sense, while the Master is now part-snake, part-personal lubricant dispenser, with a penchant for "drezzing" up.
Thank Bod for Amazing Grace with her static tear and innate knowledge of Time Lord temporal mechanics and for Chang Lee's hip high-fiving...
2013-08-222h 36
Krynoid PodCast045: Dragonfire
“I haven't got no mum and dad. I've never had no mum and dad and I don't want no mum and dad. It's just me, all right?”
So who’s this perishin’ apple-cheeked cockernee urchin then? Why, it’s Ace! And she joins the show in 1987’s Dragonfire, which mercifully closes Season 24.
It’s a frosty fable involving a wobbly-headed ANT, some woeful ice statuary and a frigid frozen food salesman.
A screamer leaves, a street yoof joins, a permed old rascal returns, and the Doctor reveals that he is in fact not half-human, but half-lemming.
Who is the lit...
2013-07-192h 08
Krynoid PodCast044: The Brain of Morbius"Chop Suey, the Galactic Emperor"
The elusive Robin Bland serves up this dubious dish, with a hefty helping of hairy kebab meat, in 1976's The Brain of Morbius.
But it's still a more appetising proposition than the Liquorice Bootlace Surprise at Chez Mehendri, a Bohemian bistro with a red, white and green wine list.
The latest renegade Time Lord may be half man/half Macra with a goldfish bowl bonce but he's not the only patchwork person around. He's joined by a bearded old crone who's a cross between Chuck Heston and one of his Apes, and...
2013-06-162h 20
Krynoid PodCast043: Death to the Daleks "It's rather a pity, in a way. Now the universe is down to six hundred and ninety nine wonders."
The Doctor reacts badly to the news of Girls Aloud splitting up. Luckily, the Krynoid Podcast is here to take his mind off it.
After giving Cold War, Hide and Journey to the Centre of the TARDIS the once-over, Jim and Martin travel back in time to 1974 for Death to the Daleks - a tale of disarmed Daleks, operatic Exxilons and homicidal hoovers from the City of Dave.
They...
2013-05-192h 27
Krynoid PodCast039: The Tomb of the Cybermen"I have my own methods... I keep my my eyes open and my mouth shut." Sadly Jim and Martin don't, and consequently bang on at some length here about 1967's chilling Troughton tale, The Tomb of the Cybermen. It's a four-episode epic involving awful accents, anxious archaeologists and cute and convenient handbag-size hit-mice. Gasp as Victoria falls asleep, Jamie falls into a trance and the Doctor nearly falls from grace as he plays impromptu puppet master - handy really as there's a Toberman on strings and an under-stuffed, self-decapitating metal manikin to contend with. Our doughty podcasters also find time to re...
2013-01-301h 57
Krynoid PodCastAmbassadors of Death podcast trailerJim's brother, Rob, trails the forthcoming Ambassadors of Death episode of the Krynoid Podcast. Creating the trailer before Jim and Martin even had their discussion, he makes some rather uncanny predictions...
2012-11-1300 min
Krynoid PodCast001: IntroductionThis is the first of our earliest 30 Krynoid PodCast episodes which we've uploaded to our podcast hosts Libsyn so that all of our episodes are accessible from the same place. They should now appear in order of publication wherever you find them. In this inaugural episode, a very tentative sounding Jim and Martin discuss their history with Doctor Who and compare NuWho to Classic Who. Apologies for the sound quality. It does get better in future episodes. And apologies for Jim's over use of samples. They start and stop here.
2009-10-3146 min