Shows
Good ChildrenSitting, Scooping, and Sucking: Bathroom PoliticsGood Children: The Podcast continues its brave, Pulitzer-adjacent coverage of the issues that matter. This week, we investigate the modern bathroom: a space for releasing, for sucking, for crying, and wondering when you'll buy toilet paper again. From the architectural injustice of door-to-floor stalls to the unspoken rules of public restroom etiquette, we’re naming names, pointing fingers, and asking the question no one else will: do you sit and scoop?
Find us on Patreon: no filter, no notes, and no pants (optional). New episodes drop every Thursday at 8PM EST. Only here: https://www...2025-07-231h 06Good ChildrenBagels: A Definitive RankingGood Children: The Podcast prides itself on award-winning journalism that isn't afraid to ask the hard-hitting questions that might make other comedian podcast duos uncomfortable. This week, we're tackling our toughest subject yet: would you f*ck that bagel?
Find us on Patreon: no filter, no notes, and no pants (optional). New episodes drop every Thursday at 8PM EST. Only here: https://www.patreon.com/c/goodchildrenpod
HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella
EDITOR: Kenzie EdmonsonLISTEN: https://linktr.ee/goodchildrenFOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:ht...2025-07-161h 12Good ChildrenEarly Signs of Daddy PubertyThis week, we’re talking Daddy Puberty: the slow, confusing transformation from boy to twink to… Daddy. Is it a mindset? A muscle mass threshold? A beard-to-hair ratio? We break down the biology, the psychology, and the pop culture mythology of what it really means to enter your Daddy Era. Plus: pop culture daddies from childhood and a debate over whether being called “Daddy” is a compliment or a cry for help.
Find us on Patreon: no filter, no notes, and no pants (optional). New episodes drop every Thursday at 8PM EST. Only here: https://www.patreon.c...2025-07-091h 06Good ChildrenEscaping The Fire Island Hookup ForestThis week, we embed ourselves deep inside the myth, the legend, the cautionary tale that is Fire Island. Our mission? To uncover the truth behind the infamous Belvedere Hotel, an all-nude, men-only boarding house perched just beyond the bounds of good judgment. What begins as an overnight getaway quickly spirals into blackouts at drag brunch, fighting for our lives in the Meat Rack, and late-night cruising that felt more like The Blair Witch Project than a vacation. Join us as we investigate the intersection of queerness, liberation, and public sex, one towel at a time. Find us on P...2025-07-021h 19Good ChildrenFrom The Archive: Who Drank At My 17th Birthday Party?ONE WEEK UNTIL WE'RE BACK WITH NEW EPISODES! Thanks for your patience 2025-06-2548 minGood ChildrenFrom The Archive: Bear in the Woods (S4E7)Thank you for your patience as we plan our next season, we'll be back shortly with brand new episodes starting in July! (Happy Pride Month, am I right?)
Until then, join us for a weekend in nature that changed our lives forever.*
*a few weeks.
Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com
HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella
FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:
@goodchildrenpod
@joehegyes
@andrewmuscarella
FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK:
@goodchildrenpod
@bequietjoe...2025-06-191h 32
Good ChildrenFrom The Archive: Bears In The Woods (S4E7)Thank you for your patience as we plan our next season, we'll be back shortly with brand new episodes starting in July! (Happy Pride Month, am I right?) Until then, join us for a weekend in nature that changed our lives forever.* *a few weeks. Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @goodchildrenpod @joehegyes @andrewmuscarella FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK: @goodchildrenpod @bequietjoe...2025-06-181h 26Good ChildrenFrom The Archive: Chimes and Punishment (S4E10)Did you know acapella groups participate in violent hazing rituals? This week we're taking it back to last summer, when Andrew revealed the traumatic story behind his barefooted days as a Loyola Chime. P.S.: We're taking a short break! Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @goodchildrenpod @joehegyes @andrewmuscarella FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK: @goodchildrenpod @bequietjoe @andrew_musky2025-06-111h 20Good ChildrenFrom The Archive: HOW TO PUT YOURSELF OUT THERE (S2E1)Throwing it back to when we tried to be an educational podcast: "Let's learn to put ourselves out there together: from using the internet to gain notoriety as a middle schooler, to dealing with bullying and humiliation in high school, this episode gets traumatic. The boys talk about body image, their first gay dates, their most embarrassing moments, childhood crushes (Sharkboy), fear of rejection/failure lol, and the full-body experience of an elementary school assembly. P.S.: We're taking a short break! Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: p...2025-06-041h 26Good ChildrenFROM THE ARCHIVE: You Get To Exhale Now, Totino (S3E21)Today we're taking it back to a particularly vulnerable conversation on sex. P.S.: We're taking a short break! Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @goodchildrenpod @joehegyes @andrewmuscarella FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK: @goodchildrenpod @bequietjoe @andrew_musky Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices2025-05-281h 08Good ChildrenFROM THE ARCHIVE: Boys State (S2E25)Let's travel back to two summers ago when Andrew shared his military camp story with the world for the very first time. P.S.: We're taking a short break! Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @goodchildrenpod @joehegyes @andrewmuscarella FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK: @goodchildrenpod @bequietjoe @andrew_musky Learn more about your ad choices. Visit pod...2025-05-2155 minGood ChildrenFROM THE ARCHIVE: Meet You At The Mall (S1E1)Today we're taking it all the way back to our very first episode, back when we were two delusional twinks with a dream and chronic acid reflux. P.S.: We're taking a short break! Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @goodchildrenpod @joehegyes @andrewmuscarella FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK: @goodchildrenpod @bequietjoe @andrew_musky Learn more abo...2025-05-1440 min
Good ChildrenWhen Podcasting Works OutToday we're celebrating our three year anniversary with a retrospect on all of the historic moments and people we've had the pleasure of experiences in our time as podcasters.P.S.: We're taking a short break! Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @goodchildrenpod @joehegyes @andrewmuscarella FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK: @goodchildrenpod @bequietjoe @andrew_musky Le...2025-05-071h 19
Good ChildrenI Hate Birthday PartiesHAPPY 29TH BIRTHDAY TO OUR FEARLESS LEADER: Andrew Thee Muscarella. Today we're talking all things birthday. PLUS: Meet Garrett! Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @goodchildrenpod @joehegyes @andrewmuscarella FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK: @goodchildrenpod @bequietjoe @andrew_musky Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices2025-04-301h 16
Good ChildrenGays in SpringThis week we talk about the worst season of all time: spring. Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @goodchildrenpod @joehegyes @andrewmuscarella FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK: @goodchildrenpod @bequietjoe @andrew_musky Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices2025-04-231h 12
Good ChildrenAn Episode About SleepWE'RE WEBBY NOMINATED VOTE HERE PLEASE!Grab your PJs. Close your eyes. No seriously—close them. This week, we’re diving under the covers to talk about the one thing we all want more of and still somehow sabotage nightly. Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @goodchildrenpod @joehegyes @andrewmuscarella FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK: @goodchildrenpod @bequietjoe @andrew...2025-04-161h 07
Good ChildrenOur Favorite SubjectWE'RE WEBBY NOMINATED VOTE HERE PLEASE!This episode is all about something we hold very dear to our hearts. It's long. It’s short. It’s complicated. It’s the root of wars, poems, traffic violations, and bad decisions made in locker rooms, dorm rooms, and boardrooms alike. Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @goodchildrenpod @joehegyes @andrewmuscarella FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK: @g...2025-04-091h 23
Good ChildrenThe Hunger Games Made Me Not SuicidalWE'RE WEBBY NOMINATED VOTE HERE PLEASE!This week, for the third time, we are bringing you back to the woods of Long Island, 2012, as Joe and Andrew partake in a life-or-death battle against fellow high schoolers in a dramatic re-enactment of The Hunger Games. Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @goodchildrenpod @joehegyes @andrewmuscarella FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK: @goodchildrenpod ...2025-04-021h 14
Good ChildrenCan A Zoo Be Ethical? And Other Moral Debates You Expect From This PodcastThis week we take a very serious look at zoos as Andrew presses Joe on the ethical boundaries of zookeepers and Joe argues for the proper care and conservation of endangered species. No, we’re not kidding, that’s what the episode is about. Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @goodchildrenpod @joehegyes @andrewmuscarella FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK: @goodchildrenpod @bequietjoe ...2025-03-261h 20
Good ChildrenThe Midwest Is the Europe of AmericaThis week we bring you along for the ride of a lifetime as we talk through our most recent set of live shows in the midwest. From a rental car debacle that almost ended in disaster to an elevator experience some could describe as impossible, we made it through by the skin of our teeth and the synthetic fibers of our Chappell Roan wigs. Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: 2025-03-191h 15
Good ChildrenYou (Might) Have A Phone AddictionThis week we talk about our very complicated relationship to the internet, dating back to the dawn of social media and all the way up to the present day, where it’s lowkey our entire livelihood (and what that means for our mental health). We also talk about the addictive quality of going viral and how we secretly compare ourselves to each other. What happens when you think don’t measure up to your best friend? Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella 2025-03-121h 22
Good ChildrenWell, Well, WellnessToday we tackle wellness culture: from experiments in goop to cauliflower crust ending with some positive affirmations by Pharrell Williams. Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @goodchildrenpod @joehegyes @andrewmuscarella FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK: @goodchildrenpod @bequietjoe @andrew_musky Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices2025-03-051h 19
Good ChildrenJon Lovett on Math, Chipotle, & Long IslandToday we're joined by Gay Long Island Podcast Royalty: Jon Lovett. From a career in political speechwriting to a stint on Survivor, Jon traces his life back to his roots: a suburban upbringing on Long Island, New York. Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @goodchildrenpod @joehegyes @andrewmuscarella FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK: @goodchildrenpod @bequietjoe @andrew_musky 2025-02-261h 15
Good ChildrenThe Body Keeps The Score, And, Girl, We’re Getting Our Ass BeatLAST CHANCE Tickets for Indianapolis, Chicago, and Madison HERE!! TW: Diet Culture, Body Image, and, girlllll, just some typical self-hating gays. Today we move through our journeys with fitness as we giggle and gab about workout classes. From the dark room of SoulCyle to the comfort of an at-home workout, we’ve pretty much tried everything once. Certified Personal Trainer & Fitness Coach, Andrew, talks about his complicated relationship with the fitness world and Joe worries he might be regressing to a less body positive era of his life. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll immedi...2025-02-191h 30
Good ChildrenIf You’re In Your Darkest Hour: Click On ThisThis week, we are back on the timeless subject of Valentine’s Day. Joe and Andrew discuss angel food cake, the devil, Instagram flirting tactics, Hailee Steinfeld, Hailee Steinfeld’s dad, Sia’s Jamaican patois, and the mental and emotional state of one of our perpetually Valentine-less hosts, who will remain unnamed. Tickets for Indianapolis, Chicago, and Madison HERE!! Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @goodchildrenpod @joehe...2025-02-121h 16
Good ChildrenThe Sick & Twisted Story of A Twink & A RedheadThis week we're joined by our IRL besties, Grant Gibbs and Ashley Gill AKA A Twink and a Redhead! We talk about our parallel lives growing up together in the tri-state area, our joint love of chain restaurants, and getting to know each other as neighbors in Brooklyn! Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @goodchildrenpod @joehegyes @andrewmuscarella FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK: @go...2025-02-051h 20
Good ChildrenWhat Cruise Ships Do To The BrainToday we're talking CRUISING!!!!! Specifically the family vacation we took together in 2022 that was anything but smooth sailing. Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @goodchildrenpod @joehegyes @andrewmuscarella FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK: @goodchildrenpod @bequietjoe @andrew_musky Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices2025-01-291h 15
Good ChildrenThe Life & Death of Shirley TempleThis week, get a look behind the Patreon Paywall with a very special episode, where Andrew tells Joe all about the life and death of legendary film star Shirley Temple. Chicago, Indianapolis, and Madison tour tickets HERE!! Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @goodchildrenpod @joehegyes @andrewmuscarella FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK: @goodchildrenpod @bequietjoe @andrew_musky Learn more abo...2025-01-2256 min
Good ChildrenWhy Ben Platt PerformsBen Platt joins the boys for an honest conversation about anxiety, aspirations, and The Search for Elle Woods. Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @goodchildrenpod @joehegyes @andrewmuscarella FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK: @goodchildrenpod @bequietjoe @andrew_musky Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices2025-01-151h 07
Good ChildrenWhy Is Spending The Night So Scary?Today the boys discuss the timeless hell that is a sleepover. HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson LISTEN: https://linktr.ee/goodchildren FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/goodchildrenpod https://www.instagram.com/joehegyes/ https://www.instagram.com/andrewmuscarella FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@goodchildrenpod https://www.tiktok.com/@bequietjoe https://www.tiktok.com/@andrew...2025-01-081h 21
Good ChildrenGetting Naked With Your Best FriendHappy Nude Year! After a life-changing three day visit to a Korean Spa in Los Angeles, the boys discuss the complications of being in touch with their own bodies, with stories from middle school to Melbourne, Australia. Chicago, Indianapolis, and Madison tour tickets HERE!! Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @goodchildrenpod @joehegyes @andrewmuscarella FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK: @goodchildrenpod ...2025-01-011h 20
Good ChildrenDO NOT HIRE A GRINCH IMPERSONATORMerry Christmas to AWLL! Today Cindy Lou Who and The Grinch work it out on the remix before Joe and Andrew dive into their storied history with The Grinch. From elaborately themed experiential walkthroughs at summer camp, to unsolicited visits in college, all the way to the fateful Grinch impersonator that changed Snowchella forever. Chicago, Indianapolis, and Madison tour tickets HERE!! Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @go...2024-12-241h 02
Good ChildrenIlana Glazer on Long Island, Weed, Motherhood, & Broad CityToday we're joined by the icon who made this podcast possible: Ilana Glazer. We discuss growing up on Long Island, weed-induced anxiety attacks, motherhood, working with your best friend, and Ilana's latest project; "Human Magic" out December 20th on Hulu & Disney+. Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @goodchildrenpod @joehegyes @andrewmuscarella FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK: @goodchildrenpod @bequietjoe @andrew_mu...2024-12-181h 08
Good ChildrenWhy Does Santa Punish Us?Is it ethical to raise children under the threat of Santa Claus? Today we join Buddy the Elf and Santa Claws himself for a discussion on Santa Claus... the good.. the bad.. and the freaks! Go to ROCKETRX.COM and enter code: GOODCHILDREN at checkout for 40% off your first order. Terms and conditions apply. Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @goodchildrenpod @joehegyes @andrewmuscarella2024-12-111h 16
Good ChildrenThanksgiving When You're Gay and Italian and In Your 20sWE'RE GOING ON TOUR!! Chicago, Indianapolis, and Madison tickets HERE! Today Joe explains why fish are birds, we discuss Thanksgiving as a concept, and the boys ideate on a new ice cream flavor that will change the trajectory of their lives. For a bonus episode every Friday plus access to 100+ extra episodes, join us on Patreon for $7 a month! Use code GOODCHILDREN at RocketRX.com for 40% off your first order: https://rebrand.ly/6615b2 HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella MORE: https://linktr.ee/goodchildren FOLLOW US ON I...2024-11-201h 21
Good ChildrenDo Gays Need Gay Friends?WE'RE GOING ON TOUR!! Chicago, Indianapolis, and Madison tickets HERE! For a bonus episode every Friday plus access to 100+ extra episodes, join us on Patreon for $7 a month! RECORDED PRE-ELECTION: Today we discuss the technicalities of what it means to be a gay person, from coming to terms to coming out. Use code GOODCHILDREN at RocketRX.com for 40% off your first order: https://rebrand.ly/6615b2 HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella MORE: https://linktr.ee/goodchildren FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @joehegyes @an...2024-11-131h 10
Good ChildrenAre All Priests Gay? & Sick DaysWE'RE GOING ON TOUR!! Chicago, Indianapolis, and Madison tickets here: https://linktr.ee/goodchildren! For a bonus episode every Friday plus access to 100+ extra episodes, join us on Patreon for $7 a month: https://www.patreon.com/goodchildrenpod This week the boys sit down to discuss taking a sick day, something they haven't done since May 4th, 2022. Andrew breaks down his will to cheat in religious education, then takes Joe to confession. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices2024-10-161h 05
Good ChildrenOperation Green AcresFor a bonus episode every Friday plus access to 100+ extra episodes, join us on Patreon for $7 a month! This week we take you on a retrospective of some of our favorite family vacations, including the fateful trip to Orlando where Andrew surprised Joe on his 14th birthday. Be your most comfortable self this fall with MeUndies. Get 20% off your first order, plus free shipping, at MeUndies.com/goodchildren. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices2024-09-041h 13
Good ChildrenKelon Campbell Radically Accepts Terri JoeFor a bonus episode every Friday plus access to 100+ extra episodes, join us on Patreon for $7 a month! This week we are joined by the legendary man behind the greenscreen: Kelon Campbell, face of Terri Joe. We chat about growing up gay, doing scary things, vampires, ghosts, mediums, and Madonna. Head to CRAPEYEWEAR.COM/GOODCHILDREN and enter code: GOODCHILDREN at checkout for 25% off your first order! Cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at MINTMOBILE.COM/GOODCHILDREN! $45 upfront payment required (equivalent to $15/mo.). New customers on first 3 month plan only. S...2024-08-281h 09
Good ChildrenChimes and PunishmentBONUS episodes every week on Patreon! Take off your shoes and grab the rumplemintz, this week we go back to college to learn more about Andrew’s acapella experience. From an stress-inducing audition process to a devastating hazing ritual, it takes a lot to be famous on campus. Plus, we revisit our fourth grade chorus solo, Andrew’s major choir disaster, and Joe’s deeply troubling history of cover videos. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices2024-07-031h 20
Good ChildrenIt's May, Let's Be Therapists AgainThis week, after a 20-minute long intro in which the boys roleplay interviewing for jobs, Joe and Andrew discuss their relationship to touch. Later, Andrew makes a shocking revelation that could change the duo forever. Bonus episodes every Friday on Patreon! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices2024-05-151h 09
Good ChildrenDoes It Get Better? ft. Trixie MattelCelebrate our 2-year-anniversary with World Famous Drag Queen: Trixie Mattel! Hang onto your wigs as we unpack Joe and Andrew's long-time yearning to be drag queens, Trixie's views on podcasters, the concept of cacio e pepe, party and play, and more. For more, join the community on Patreon! If you want to take ownership of your health, it starts with AG1. Try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3K2 AND 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/GOODCHILDREN. Thank you to Spotify for having us i...2024-05-011h 15
Good ChildrenThe Emancipation of Royal HegyesBonus episodes every Friday on Patreon! MYSTERIES! SECRETS! PHOTOSHOP! Sit down with Royal Hegyes for his first on-camera interview in ten years as the boys unpack what it means to truly reinvent themselves. Plus: return to Joe's 17th birthday party and hear directly from party guests as they give alibis and throw blame over who tossed several beer cans over the fence that host August night. ALSO: get answers on who rang our doorbell last Christmas. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices2024-01-241h 16
Good ChildrenHow The Hell Did The Grinch Steal Christmas?Subscribe to Patreon for a brand new bonus episode every Friday and access to our community chat! After an agonizing three weeks of terrifying our beautiful good children with prosthetics and beating any subject relating to Christmas to an absolute pulp, the boys go for one last ride as Cindy Lou Who and Mayor Augustus Maywho. On this episode, they discuss their favorite things from the past year and try relentlessly not to sound like they're doing sponcon. Does Andrew eat a chocolate bar a week? Are Stanley Cups conservative-coded? Is Joe hotter as a Who? (Don't answ...2023-12-201h 00
Good ChildrenA Little Bit of TLCSubscribe to Patreon for a brand new bonus episode every Friday and access to our community chat! The boys try to stay on theme this week by talking about TLC original series, but start with Lifetime original Dance Moms and then just decide to start telling random stories, INCLUDING: Joe almost getting stabbed (again) in 7th grade, Andrew's personal trainer quitting on him (again) in 10th grade, the (not-so) secret romance between Elvis-loving nuns, and more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices2023-12-141h 02
Good ChildrenThe Get A Boyfriend ChallengeThe boys discuss the perils of modern dating, the terrors of dating in high school, the insanity of Andrew's type, the horrors of Joe breaking up with his high school girlfriend, the deep brokenness inside us all that shouts mercilessly into the void "YOU ARE NOT WORTH OF LOVE!!!!" and more! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices2023-11-011h 08
Good ChildrenA Leaf Of FaithPasta, wine, Lizzie McGuire, podcasts, Roman statues, food tours, cooking classes, your favorite gay podcast duo… and YOU? We’re planning a Good Children Study Abroad trip to Italy next summer and we want YOU there! First step: fill out this survey link. We’ll circle back with details soon!
Subscribe to our Patreon for bonus episodes every Friday!
Find out about merch, tours, and more HERE.
Don't forget to rate us 5 stars (and write a little review while you're at it)! ----- Christian Girl Autumn is officially in full swing and these two gabby queens have a lot to say about the subject. Celebrate the bountiful fruits of the autumnal harvest with hosts Joe Hegyes and Andrew Muscarella as they explo...2023-10-1152 min
Good ChildrenA Leaf Of Faith [video]Pasta, wine, Lizzie McGuire, podcasts, Roman statues, food tours, cooking classes, your favorite gay podcast duo… and YOU? We’re planning a Good Children Study Abroad trip to Italy next summer and we want YOU there! First step: fill out this survey link. We’ll circle back with details soon!
Subscribe to our Patreon for bonus episodes every Friday!
Find out about merch, tours, and more HERE.
Don't forget to rate us 5 stars (and write a little review while you're at it)! ----- Christian Girl Autumn is officially in full swing and these two gabby queens have a lot to say about the subject. Celebrate the bountiful fruits of the autumnal harvest with hosts Joe Hegyes and Andrew Muscarella as they explore the deepe...2023-10-1152 min
Good ChildrenServing Bow (A Look Into The Archive)Pasta, wine, Lizzie McGuire, podcasts, Roman statues, food tours, cooking classes, your favorite gay podcast duo… and YOU? We’re planning a Good Children Study Abroad trip to Italy next summer and we want YOU there! First step: fill out this survey link. We’ll circle back with details soon!
Subscribe to our Patreon for bonus episodes every Friday!
Find out about merch, tours, and more HERE.
Don't forget to rate us 5 stars (and write a little review while you're at it)! ----- We're back to the basics this week with a deep dive into the archive! Watch in horror and glee as Andrew and Joe discover never before seen footage of their 11-year-old selves. But fret not, audio-only...2023-10-0444 min
Good ChildrenServing Bow (A Look Into The Archive) [video]Pasta, wine, Lizzie McGuire, podcasts, Roman statues, food tours, cooking classes, your favorite gay podcast duo… and YOU? We’re planning a Good Children Study Abroad trip to Italy next summer and we want YOU there! First step: fill out this survey link. We’ll circle back with details soon!
Subscribe to our Patreon for bonus episodes every Friday!
Find out about merch, tours, and more HERE.
Don't forget to rate us 5 stars (and write a little review while you're at it)! ----- We're back to the basics this week with a deep dive into the archive! Watch in horror and glee as Andrew and Joe discover never before seen footage of their 11-year-old selves. But fret not...2023-10-0444 min
Good ChildrenRiding in Cars with TwinksPasta, wine, Lizzie McGuire, podcasts, Roman statues, food tours, cooking classes, your favorite gay podcast duo… and YOU? We’re planning a Good Children Study Abroad trip to Italy next summer and we want YOU there! First step: fill out this survey link. We’ll circle back with details soon!
Subscribe to our Patreon for bonus episodes every Friday!
Find out about merch, tours, and more HERE.
Don't forget to rate us 5 stars (and write a little review while you're at it)! This week the boys discuss the psychological ramifications of driving a car, including stories about Andrew driving Joe to meet his internet boyfriend in the middle of a pandemic, an incident involving french onion dip we’ll never forget, 2023-09-2746 min
Good ChildrenRiding in Cars with Twinks [video]Pasta, wine, Lizzie McGuire, podcasts, Roman statues, food tours, cooking classes, your favorite gay podcast duo… and YOU? We’re planning a Good Children Study Abroad trip to Italy next summer and we want YOU there! First step: fill out this survey link. We’ll circle back with details soon!
Subscribe to our Patreon for bonus episodes every Friday!
Find out about merch, tours, and more HERE.
Don't forget to rate us 5 stars (and write a little review while you're at it)! This week the boys discuss the psychological ramifications of driving a car, including stories about Andrew driving Joe to meet his internet boyfriend in the middle of a pandemic, an incident involving french onion dip we’ll...2023-09-2746 min
Good ChildrenTry Not To Say AnnaSophia Robb Challenge [VIDEO]Subscribe to our Patreon for bonus episodes every Friday! Find out about merch, tours, and more HERE. Don't forget to rate us 5 stars (and write a little review while you're at it)! Joe plans his funeral, Andrew talks about getting bitten by a spider in Slovakia. The boys discuss their beliefs on death and the afterlife, childhood experiences with death in pop culture, whether or not they’ll be ghosts, and the high-camp drama of a funeral home. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices2023-08-1651 min
Good ChildrenTry Not To Say AnnaSophia Robb ChallengeSubscribe to our Patreon for bonus episodes every Friday! Find out about merch, tours, and more HERE. Don't forget to rate us 5 stars (and write a little review while you're at it)! Joe plans his funeral, Andrew talks about getting bitten by a spider in Slovakia. The boys discuss their beliefs on death and the afterlife, childhood experiences with death in pop culture, whether or not they’ll be ghosts, and the high-camp drama of a funeral home. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices2023-08-1651 min
Good ChildrenWho Drank At Joe's 17th Birthday Party?Subscribe to our Patreon for bonus episodes every Friday! Find out about merch, tours, and more HERE. Don't forget to rate us 5 stars (and write a little review while you're at it)! The boys investigate a cold case from 2013 in which 12 beer cans were discovered at Joe's 17th birthday party. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices2023-07-2643 min
Good ChildrenWho Drank At Joe's 17th Birthday Party? [VIDEO]Subscribe to our Patreon for bonus episodes every Friday! Find out about merch, tours, and more HERE. Don't forget to rate us 5 stars (and write a little review while you're at it)! The boys investigate a cold case from 2013 in which 12 beer cans were discovered at Joe's 17th birthday party. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices2023-07-2643 min
Good ChildrenFood CourtSubscribe to our Patreon for bonus episodes every Friday! Find out about merch, tours, and more HERE. Don't forget to rate us 5 stars (and write a little review while you're at it)! Joe and Andrew, discuss a variety of topics all relating to their love of food; from childhood memories of being rewarded with garlic knots at basketball games to a very passionate conversation about the quality of Chipotle’s chips. They discuss their undying love for Taco Bell (despite the controversy), rank fast food burgers, chicken nuggets, and fries, chat about In-N-Out, get bruta...2023-07-1942 min
Good ChildrenFood Court [VIDEO]Subscribe to our Patreon for bonus episodes every Friday! Find out about merch, tours, and more HERE. Don't forget to rate us 5 stars (and write a little review while you're at it)! Joe and Andrew, discuss a variety of topics all relating to their love of food; from childhood memories of being rewarded with garlic knots at basketball games to a very passionate conversation about the quality of Chipotle’s chips. They discuss their undying love for Taco Bell (despite the controversy), rank fast food burgers, chicken nuggets, and fries, chat about In-N-Out, get...2023-07-1942 min
Good ChildrenBoys State [VIDEO]Subscribe to our Patreon for bonus episodes every Friday! Find out about merch, tours, and more HERE. Don't forget to rate us 5 stars (and write a little review while you're at it)! Did you know Andrew accidentally signed himself up for military camp? Joe interviews Andrew about his experiences at Boys State, a summer leadership program for high school students. They talk about the strict and disciplined environment, physical training, and psychological aspects of the program. Andrew reflects on the nationalist agenda of the camp and the impact it had on him. It's ins...2023-07-1250 min
Good ChildrenBoys StateSubscribe to our Patreon for bonus episodes every Friday! Find out about merch, tours, and more HERE. Don't forget to rate us 5 stars (and write a little review while you're at it)! Did you know Andrew accidentally signed himself up for military camp? Joe interviews Andrew about his experiences at Boys State, a summer leadership program for high school students. They talk about the strict and disciplined environment, physical training, and psychological aspects of the program. Andrew reflects on the nationalist agenda of the camp and the impact it had on him. It...2023-07-1250 min
Good ChildrenRainy Days And Nights In L.I.Subscribe to our Patreon for bonus episodes every Friday! Find out about merch, tours, and more HERE. But it’s rainy!!!!! Andrew thinks he has schizophrenia, Joe thinks he has binocular vision dysfunction, and we all think Cadet Kelly was gay. IT’S A RAINY DAY! Let’s reminisce about childhood memories, being the worst possible camp counselors on earth, playing pretend at Joe’s house, and our love for the queer-coded Disney Channel Original Movies of the early 2000s. Learn more about your ad choices. Visi...2023-07-0550 min
Good ChildrenRainy Days And Nights In L.I. [VIDEO]Subscribe to our Patreon for bonus episodes every Friday! Find out about merch, tours, and more HERE. But it’s rainy!!!!! Andrew thinks he has schizophrenia, Joe thinks he has binocular vision dysfunction, and we all think Cadet Kelly was gay. IT’S A RAINY DAY! Let’s reminisce about childhood memories, being the worst possible camp counselors on earth, playing pretend at Joe’s house, and our love for the queer-coded Disney Channel Original Movies of the early 2000s. Learn more about your ad choices. Visi...2023-07-0550 min
Good ChildrenEscape From Shelter Island [VIDEO]SUBSCRIBE TO OUR PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/goodchildrenpod! It's time to tell the story of how we almost broke up. In this very special episode of the Good Children, Joe and Andrew discuss the codependence in their friendship that almost ended in disaster on a trip to Shelter Island. Get ready for a heinous experience at the beach, a backyard party that spun out of control, and a fight so major it made the boys realize just how codependent they truly were. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices2023-06-1453 min
Good ChildrenEscape From Shelter IslandSUBSCRIBE TO OUR PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/goodchildrenpod! It's time to tell the story of how we almost broke up. In this very special episode of the Good Children, Joe and Andrew discuss the codependence in their friendship that almost ended in disaster on a trip to Shelter Island. Get ready for a heinous experience at the beach, a backyard party that spun out of control, and a fight so major it made the boys realize just how codependent they truly were. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices2023-06-1453 min
Good ChildrenThe Hardest Working Gay Men Alive*CORPORATE VOICE* We would love to walk you through our professional resume starting with 2008 for Joe's first job as a counselor in training and Andrew's tenure "employed" by his parents. From summer camp disasters to ice rink days off, we've shared a varied history of working together. This week, we unpack the layers of what it means to mentor 11-year-old boys as a 13-year-old boy, the Brown University Board of Admissions process, the mechanics of a lawn mower, and why every social media manager is gay. COME TO OUR LIVE SHOW, SUNDAY, JUNE 4TH...2023-05-1732 min
Good ChildrenThe Hardest Working Gay Men Alive [VIDEO]*CORPORATE VOICE* We would love to walk you through our professional resume starting with 2008 for Joe's first job as a counselor in training and Andrew's tenure "employed" by his parents. From summer camp disasters to ice rink days off, we've shared a varied history of working together. This week, we unpack the layers of what it means to mentor 11-year-old boys as a 13-year-old boy, the Brown University Board of Admissions process, the mechanics of a lawn mower, and why every social media manager is gay. COME TO OUR LIVE SHOW, SUNDAY, JUNE 4TH, AT 7...2023-05-1730 min
Good ChildrenJillian Michaels For PrisonOh jeez. Things get serious in this week's conversation about body image. From the shows that taught us to crash diet to the people who told us we weren't good enough, this episode covers a lot of difficult topics we simply don't have the answers to! Joe and Andrew unpack their relationships to their bodies, their privilege, and their minds. COME TO OUR LIVE SHOW, SUNDAY, JUNE 4TH, AT 7PM IN NYC! Join the community on Patreon for an exclusive bonus episode every week. Follow G...2023-05-1041 min
Good ChildrenJillian Michaels For Prison [VIDEO]Oh jeez. Things get serious in this week's conversation about body image. From the shows that taught us to crash diet to the people who told us we weren't good enough, this episode covers a lot of difficult topics we simply don't have the answers to! Joe and Andrew unpack their relationships to their bodies, their privilege, and their minds. COME TO OUR LIVE SHOW, SUNDAY, JUNE 4TH, AT 7PM IN NYC! Join the community on Patreon for an exclusive bonus episode every week. Follow G...2023-05-1041 min
Good ChildrenJulia Fox's Keys To Confidence (ft. Julia Fox) [VIDEO]Happy 1 year of Good Children! How do you find confidence? How do we return to the level of delusion we had when we believed we'd be model scouted in a mall at 12 years old? What's Julia Fox's go-to Subway order? Sit down with the legendary artist, icon, and Italian, Julia Fox as Andrew and Joe explore the psychological damages done by putting themselves out there as children and the emotional rewards received when those risks pay off. We talk Julia's middle school experiences as a goth cat girl, high school in Northern Italy, and the side-effects of fame in...2023-05-0353 min
Good ChildrenJulia Fox's Keys To Confidence (ft. Julia Fox)Happy 1 year of Good Children! How do you find confidence? How do we return to the level of delusion we had when we believed we'd be model scouted in a mall at 12 years old? What's Julia Fox's go-to Subway order? Sit down with the legendary artist, icon, and Italian, Julia Fox as Andrew and Joe explore the psychological damages done by putting themselves out there as children and the emotional rewards received when those risks pay off. We talk Julia's middle school experiences as a goth cat girl, high school in Northern Italy, and the side-effects of fame in...2023-05-0355 min
Good ChildrenVideo: The Dangers of MarijuanaWe made it to graduation day! 12th grade brings new hopes, dreams, and fears as Joe and Andrew sort every iconic American chain restaurant on the Kinsey Scale. Why were we made to believe college admissions counselors were stalking our Facebook albums? Why was Andrew dressing like a 60-year-old father of 3? Were we bad children the whole time? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices2023-03-1551 min
Good ChildrenThe Dangers of MarijuanaWe made it to graduation day! 12th grade brings new hopes, dreams, and fears as Joe and Andrew sort every iconic American chain restaurant on the Kinsey Scale. Why were we made to believe college admissions counselors were stalking our Facebook albums? Why was Andrew dressing like a 60-year-old father of 3? Were we bad children the whole time? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices2023-03-1551 min
Good ChildrenVideo: The Long Island Hunger GamesThings take a dark and scary turn in 10th grade for Joe and Andrew. Between fatphobic lacrosse coaches and homophobic theology teachers, the boys learn more about each other than they ever knew possible in this introspective deep dive into some stories you know and love-- and some you'll wish you could forget. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices2023-03-0147 min
Good ChildrenThe Long Island Hunger GamesThings take a dark and scary turn in 10th grade for Joe and Andrew. Between fatphobic lacrosse coaches and homophobic theology teachers, the boys learn more about each other than they ever knew possible in this introspective deep dive into some stories you know and love-- and some you'll wish you could forget. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices2023-03-0147 min
Good Childrenan (uncut) improvised dateWhat do you think would happen if we never met? Joe and Andrew explore the very dark and troubling possibility of being total strangers meeting in their mid-20s for a drink on Valentine's Day. Enjoy this departure from Good Children's usual programming in which the boys genuinely do an hour long improv with minimal editing and get progressively drunker.. how decadent!💕 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices2023-02-1451 min
Good Childrencupid’s chokeholdLet’s celebrate Valentine’s Day the only way we know how: candy, stuffed animals, and a general sense of impending doom for the world. Joe and Andrew dive deep through four categories of their February 14th’s: elementary school, middle school, high school, and college. Learn more about the boys first girlfriends and first rejections, the importance of mailbox valentines in 4th grade and the unseriousness of feeling lonely. We’re all gonna die, so let’s treat ourselves like someone we love! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices2023-02-0849 min
Good ChildrenNo HomoIt's 2009: FarmVille, Flash Mobs, Hannah Montana and homophobia were all the rage. We're beginning to say goodbye to our childhood and prepare for high school with the rise of Glee, Gaga, and Picnik. Join Good Children on the journey of self-awareness and self-deprecation as Joe and Andrew dive deeper into the final troubling times of middle school: 8th Grade. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices2023-02-0147 min
Good ChildrenSixth Grade Fight ClubIt's 2007: Harry Potter is ending, the iPhone is born, and Joe and Andrew take their very first steps into middle school. Today's episode is all about the trials and tribulations of SIXTH GRADE, including, but not limited to: Thursday afternoon fights at Gino's pizzeria, body odor, rainbow rockets, Webkinz, Aeropostale, milk for every meal, the birth of cell phone culture, Miley's pregnancy rumor, giving sixth graders power tools, Axe body spray, and more nauseating experiences from one of the worst years of our lives. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices2023-01-1848 min
Good ChildrenConfessions Of A Teenage Drama QueenThe boys talk reinvention (Royal Era), letting go, New York City, and being teenage drama queens on this penultimate episode of Good Children. Joe and Andrew walk through the days they spent longing to be cool/thin/hot/rich/famous/etc. and wandering around the city trying to impress everyone while no one paid attention. Andrew's a Maxxinista, Joe's longing for longing, Jill's back, and everyone wants to put a stop to Rose's Pizza. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices2022-11-1646 min
Good ChildrenHealth ClassThe boys get down and dirty on this educational episode of Good Children. Stories range from near-death encounters on the middle school bridge to learning about sex from fan fiction. Joe and Andrew get deep about their intimacy problems and beg the question: do we ALL have sex issues? All this and more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices2022-11-0943 min
Good ChildrenTwitches Take HalloweentownYou’re invited to a JOE HEGYES HALLOWEEN PARTY. Bring out the marshmallow mummies, fire up the smoke machines, get to work on your costume, because stakes are HIGH. On this VERY SPOOKY EPISODE of Good Children, Andrew and Joe walk through some of their favorite Halloween memories (including every costume they’ve literally ever done). Halloweentown was gay representation, Joe was problematic, and we ALL love Brenda Song. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices2022-10-2646 min
Good ChildrenBeing Gay On YouTubeOn this very viral episode of Good Children, the boys travel back to the dawn of time and a land before TikTok: the internet in the late 2000s. From Farmville to Facebook to Grape Lady Falls, Joe and Andrew explore the holy times of performance on the early internet. After unpacking the deep psychosis of Andrew's acapella days, the boys react to a few of their videos #FromTheVault. PLUS: live show planning, LGBTQIA* allyship lessons, and more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices2022-10-1948 min
Good ChildrenIt All Goes Downhill After 4th GradeGet your permission slipped signed, it’s time to go on a field trip with Good Children! In this hyper-descriptive episode, Joe and Andrew walk you through some of the most memorable experiences they’ve ever had— all involving trips. From running for Mayor in 5th grade (you’ll never guess who wins), to risking your life for a school play (you’ll never guess who’s driving the car), to enjoying a stay at Universal Orlando Resort, this episode as it all. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices2022-10-1245 min
Good ChildrenGrindr In Your HometownIn today’s VERY SPECIAL EPISODE, join Andrew and Joe in Joe’s childhood home as he dog sits on Long Island for the weekend. The boys cover everything from Grindr in your hometown to girls who had ferrets as pets. Whether you self-identified as Jay Gatsby in high school or believe you could win a verbal argument with a pigeon, this episode has something for everyone: from Long Island culture to ghosts caught on camera. Come one over and sit a spell as Joe struggles to tame a 6-month-old puppy and Andrew silently suffers from digestive trauma. 2022-10-0532 min
Good ChildrenComing OutIn this reflective episode of Good Children, Andrew and Joe journey through the moments in their life they tried their hardest to be the best little boys in the world. From a Cub Scouts cheating scandal to a religious education chocolate bar MLM to praying the gay away, the boys come to realize that only shooting stars break the mold. For the first time ever, Joe and Andrew tell their long-requested coming out stories. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices2022-09-2840 min
Good ChildrenDisney Adults AnonymousPumpkins, fawlling leaves, the prowess only a flannel can bring, republican energy. It’s officially fawll at Good Children HQ and the boys are inviting you to share in their seasonal spirit. From pumpkin picking photoshoots to the clown epidemic of 2016 to dressing up in full drag to go to Disney as an adult, Joe and Andrew unpack it all. Come along on a $15 hayride and practice your dynamic lumbar stretches as we prepare to pick the hottest pumpkin in the patch! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices2022-09-1437 min
Good ChildrenF.A.Q.QOTSAsk box is officially open! Join Andrew and Joe as they get HONEST when answering YOUR questions. Ponder life’s greatest mysteries like: Lizzie McGuire or That’s So Raven? What does Andrew love about Joe? When did Joe first listen to Taylor Swift? And more! Things get emotional, things get comical, and things get a little too serious on this week’s Good Children! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices2022-09-0738 min
Good ChildrenSlenderman Is A TwinkJoe Hegyes and Andrew Muscarella were so pretty and so smart and got good grades and dated all the popular boys in high school. Ppl in their school TOTALLY HATED THEM so they planned to lock them in a closet forever. Unless you send this message to 10 other people, they will come to your room tonight and harmonize. They will show up every night. You have seven minutes to send this. LOLJK! In this very SCARY episode of Good Children, Andrew and Joe unpack some of their earliest fears, and a few fears they have today. Ranging from chain...2022-08-3143 min
Good ChildrenRemember When Frozen Yogurt Came Up?Susan Boyle, Balloon Boy, Joe’s wart doctor… the stars align on this very nostalgic episode of Good Children! Andrew and Joe talk headlines and trends that had them glued to their TVs and abusing frozen yogurt topping bars. BeReal about chasing your dreams, negotiate the terms of your laundry service, finalize your Whale Rep application, and journey Into The Vault for more classic videos from the archive! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices2022-08-1744 min
Good ChildrenSports (But In A Gay Way)OK sooooo this episode is about sports but not in a way that you will be bored/triggered/scared of. Joe and Andrew expose the seedy underbelly of sports through locker room trauma, halftime performances, Taylor Swift’s next album, and a weirdly sentimental speech on self love. Strap up your shin guards, put on your jockstrap, and get start praying for rain, because it’s time to play ball! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices2022-08-1036 min
Good ChildrenFighting For Your Life At Gymnastics PartiesIt’s another year around the sun for Joe! Celebrate the old fashioned way with nearly losing your life at a gymnastics party, exploring repressed middle school homophobia, technical difficulties and a fondant cake. Joe and Andrew talk birthdays then and now— and invite you along to the extravagantly themed party of your dreams! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices2022-08-0350 min
Good ChildrenRepressed Theater GaysLife’s a stage and Joe and Andrew will do anything it takes to get into the spotlight. The Good Children vault is officially opened in this retrospect of life’s greatest performances. Andrew and Joe react to childhood videos, unpack movie theater trauma, and wonder what life would be like if they took a page from Troy Bolton’s playbook and pursued musical theater in high school. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices2022-07-2743 min
Good ChildrenSharpay's Fabulous AdventureWake up at 3am and get on your way to a traumatic flight to nowhere with Joe and Andrew. This week, the boys talk all things travel (and toilets). Fasten your seatbelts, stow all carry-ons under the seat in front of you, and don't forget to check in on your straight (gay) boyfriends as they explore the world of PrEP and Grindr. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices2022-07-2040 min
Good ChildrenCan You Push Me In The Pool?In quite possibly the darkest episode to date, Joe and Andrew discuss the chilling experiences that filled their summer breaks. A glimpse into the psyche of two emotionally disturbed Spanx for Men-wearing camp counselors, a retrospective look at the Cold Stone Industrial Complex, a dip in the pool, a trip to the spa, and a hopeful glance forward into summers unwritten. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices2022-06-2930 min
Good ChildrenBest of Both WorldsTV! Movies! Bulges! Joe and Andrew dive into the pop culture that shaped them on this episode of GOOD CHILDREN. Our hosts talk parental controls, Glee's impact on the global social and economic systems of the world, and Jason Earle from Hannah Montana. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices2022-06-1538 min
Good ChildrenOgre 4 OgreFirst dates, middle school crushes, and a DTF donkey.. Joe and Andrew talk all things relationships, romance, and emotion on this week’s GOOD CHILDREN. From coming out to fitting in, theater gays to straight girlfriends, Justin Bieber to Danny Phantom, no stone is left unturned in this sticky, sweaty, swampy episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices2022-06-0837 min
Good ChildrenLocked In The ClosetThings get tense in this week's installment of GOOD CHILDREN. Joe and Andrew explore several longstanding points of contention throughout their school years, as well as unpack the psychological terrors of standardized testing, the "time-out closet," and the pacer test. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices2022-06-0131 min
Good ChildrenLeave It All To Me After drinking 500mg of caffeine each, Joe and Andrew talk triple threats, late 2000s pop cultural icons, and the celebrities who made them who they are today through intense soliloquy and home videos. Andrew unpacks the trauma of his American Idol audition. Joe unloads his devotional love to Taylor Swift. Everyone seeks justice for Rebecca Black. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices2022-05-1830 min
Good ChildrenThe Rachel Berry House Party Train Wreck ExtravaganzaUnderage drinking! Half-off apps! Sweet Sixteens! BBM screenshots! Joe and Andrew take you out from the comfort of their living room and Into The Woods on the sophomore episode of Good Children. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices2022-05-1128 min
Good ChildrenMeet You At The MallChildhood best friends Joe Hegyes and Andrew muscarella unpack the "trauma" of the late aughts mall experience: from the dark abyss of an Abercrombie & Fitch dressing room to the philosophical reasoning behind your food court selection. Come with us on a journey through time, space, and body odor to any given mall on Long Island. TREAT OF THE WEEK: Pop Tarts. COME TO OUR LIVE SHOW, SUNDAY, JUNE 4TH, AT 7PM IN NYC! Join the community on Patreon for an exclusive bonus episode every week. Follow...2022-05-0434 min