Shows
No Time to Not Win145 - The New Year's Resolution Enforcement PlanStothton and Walshman discuss how to fix the lack of commitment people show when it comes to new year's resolutions. Stothton has some big plans to get people on track.2024-01-191h 03No Time to Not Win144 - The Christmas Equivalency ConjectureStothton and Walshman discuss the problems of Christmas in modern society and how it can be fixed. Also, on a side note, Stothton gives some truly incredible financial advice in this episode. Buy that Ferrari and go live your life.2024-01-041h 14No Time to Not Win138 - Bro Discrimination, I’m All for ItStothton and Walshman discuss the nationwide destruction of bagel shops by the bros, the ridiculous health trend of gulping down disgusting green shakes, and the pure terror that comes from drinking John's signature coffee.2023-07-171h 02No Time to Not Win120 - Action Items #6, Tighten the Chest and Loosen the GutStothton discusses various news topics with political advisor Jack Walshman in another round of "Action Items with John". This episode was recorded a while back when these topics were fresh, but our sound engineer decided to go on a two month pot smoking binge and forgot to put the episode out. Don't worry, I am going to think of a very creative way to reprimand him.2022-07-031h 03No Time to Not Win108 - Action Items #3, With John and Fat TerminatorStothton discusses a couple of recent news topics with Tim Watson. This week's topics include a 400-pound gold cube in NYC (apparently its "art"), Joe Rogan vs. Neil Young, and antiwork falling apart after a ridiculous interview.2022-02-111h 05No Time to Not Win104 - 100 lbs and a House in AlaskaStothton and Walshman get an update from Tim Watson on his new year's resolutions. Neither John nor Jack were impressed with Tim's progress and made a few minor changes to Tim's resolutions to get him moving.2022-01-1411 minNo Time to Not Win101 - Uncle Glenn's Christmas Party RecapStothton recaps his Christmas office party with his Uncle Glenn. Uncle Glenn has some interesting revisions he thinks should be added next year and I am fairly certain John will add none of them.2022-01-0412 minNo Time to Not Win100 - Christmas Party Recap, Jack's in Bad ShapeStothton recaps his 10 floor Christmas office party with Jack Walshman. Jack is in pretty bad shape and his family isn't too happy with his actions on Christmas day. He is even questioning whether we should keep doing this, but John knows that in a couple weeks Jack will be ready for more.2021-12-2823 minNo Time to Not Win99 - Stothton's 10 Floors of ChristmasOnly one episode this week, but it's a good one. Stothton discusses plans for his company's annual Christmas office party with political advisor Jack Walshman. This party spans the top 10 floors of his building, lasts 10 hours long, and is actually happening the day this episode releases. You better take notes, because this is a master class in how to hold a holiday office party. Suffice to say this party is going to change people's lives; some for the better and many for the worse.2021-12-231h 06No Time to Not Win96 - Omicron, We Should Have Listened To Jack The First TimeStothton discusses the new COVID variant Omicron with scientific consultant Jack Tetherton. Jack discusses his current and future studies regarding an effective cure. Jack first told us all about his ideas for battling COVID back on episode 17. Maybe had we all listened to him back then, we wouldn't be in this situation.2021-12-0723 minNo Time to Not Win95 - Uncle Glenn's 3 Day ThanksgivingStothton and his uncle Glenn recap their Thanksgiving together. I truly can not imagine what it would be like to be one of Glenn's children. John has changed all of his phone numbers and somehow he still receives at least 4 calls per day from his uncle Glenn.2021-11-3022 minNo Time to Not Win94 - Thanksgiving With Uncle GlennStothton discusses Thanksgiving with his uncle Glenn. Saying that Glenn is a family man would be the understatement of the century and about two minutes into this episode John quickly remembered why he stopped talking to Glenn so many years ago.2021-11-2615 minNo Time to Not Win93 - Blow Your Money On Black FridayStothton discusses Black Friday with Davy Chris. Davy has been waiting outside of a Best Buy for the last few days in preparation for the upcoming Black Friday sales. John noticed this and had to know what was going on with this guy. Turns out Davy has not missed a Black Friday sale in 15 years and doesn't plan to miss any in the future.2021-11-2318 minNo Time to Not Win92 - Action Items #2, With BillBill Chafton takes the reigns on this one and he and Stothton run through some quick takes on a few topics that Bill wanted to discuss. This week's topics include the new Scream and Home Alone movies, the new Apple MacBook Pro, F1 Esports, and the whole mess that is Facebook.2021-11-1936 minNo Time to Not Win91 - Stothton's Thorough SimpliSafe TestStothton discusses the SimpliSafe security system with Tim Watson. This episode is not sponsored or endorsed by SimpliSafe. Just to be clear, no one associated with this podcast condones sexual abuse or misconduct of any kind whatsoever. That being said, John didn't get to where he is today by doing things half-assed. If John is going to test a security system, you can bet your life that he is going to test that system in the most thorough and realistic way possible and that is exactly what he did. Congratulations SimpliSafe, you passed the test.2021-11-1617 minNo Time to Not Win90 - Trick or Treating Like A Serial KillerStothton discusses candy and trick or treating with Logan Mars, a self-proclaimed trick or treating enthusiast. Considering that we're already well past Halloween, John didn't even want to do this episode. But, Logan would not stop messaging and calling John until he finally agreed to do this episode with him. Do you love trick or treating? Are you over the age of 10? If you answered yes to both questions, you're basically Logan Mars.2021-11-1225 minNo Time to Not Win89 - Shazam's Couches Come With Many MenStothton discusses couch options with premier couch importer Shazam Habas (or is it Shabaz Hasam? This guy is so sketchy he can't even keep his name straight). Not quite sure what it is about this guy, but I get the feeling he's importing a hell of a lot more than just couches.2021-11-0510 minNo Time to Not Win88 - Stothton Youth Outreach ProgramStothton discusses parenting, child labor, and youth outreach with Jack Walshman. Having a kid doesn't give you the right to be a sloppy idiot mess of a human being. It's simple, either keep up or don't have the kid. Also, in the wise words of Ron Swanson, "Child labor laws are ruining this country". Contact me at notimetonotwin@gmail.com to apply for the Stothton Youth Outreach Program.2021-11-0244 minNo Time to Not Win87 - Mischief Night, Just A Little FunStothton and Tetherton work out their mischief night plans. All I'll say is Bill Chafton is in for a wild night. Well, probably more like a wild week...2021-10-2915 minNo Time to Not Win85 - Hypertension, No Risk No RewardStothton discusses the results of a recent doctor's visit with his scientific advisor Jack Tetherton. In particular, they discuss the finding that his blood pressure is high. It just so happens that Jack and some colleagues have been researching hypertension and their findings may very well upend our current understanding of the condition. It's exciting times folks so listen up.2021-10-2224 minNo Time to Not Win84 - Jebb's Krispy Kreme BagelsStothton discusses bagels with Jebb Blintz and Franky Withers, two bagel aficionados he met at the bagel shop in his building. Apparently, Jebb likes his "bagels" from Krispy Kreme...2021-10-1927 minNo Time to Not Win83 - Waiting Etiquette, Just Plow ThroughStothton discusses waiting etiquette with Bill Chafton and Jack Walshman. If you want to know when it is and is not okay to wait for something then this is the episode for you. The basic jist is that it is almost never okay to wait for anything and if you are one of the slow plebs causing people to wait then you need to take a long walk out my 70th story window.2021-10-1532 minNo Time to Not Win82 - Buck's DIY Lyfe vs The Old Stanley WayStothton once again discusses paying for comfort versus doing everything yourself, but this time with guests Buck Jasper and Stanley Pile.2021-10-1227 minNo Time to Not Win81 - Pay To Make Life EasierStothton and Chafton discuss paying for services to make one's life more comfortable. It's simple, do what you want and pay for other people to handle the crap you don't care about. Having a DIY attitude towards everything is a sure-fire way to waste your life.2021-10-0813 minNo Time to Not Win80 - Retirement Is For Losers, You're Gonna Die HereStothton discusses retirement with Tim Watson, a rising star in John's company. But, apparently, Tim and John have pretty differing views on this topic and John is not too happy about it. Tim may have to drop down a few floors because he clearly isn't the guy John thought he was.2021-09-2810 minNo Time to Not Win79 - The Rap Industry in 2021, It's "Art"Stothton discusses the current state of the rap industry with Clarence, a producer whose been in the game for over 30 years. This guy has seen the evolution of the industry first-hand and together he and Stothton take a deep dive into why current rap is largely going to hell.2021-09-2447 minNo Time to Not Win78 - Action Items #1, With JohnStothton and Walshman fly through a couple of back-logged topics at a rapid-fire pace. This is a new segment we'll be doing now and then. This episode's topics include Hurrican Ida, iPhone 13, Apple CSAM software delay, and Australia's COVID lockdown app.2021-09-2115 minNo Time to Not Win77 - Airline Pilot, Gotta Keep The Riffraff OutStothton discusses flying commercial planes with airline pilot Jack Braver. In particular, they discuss how to deal with the seemingly rising trend of rude and disrespectful passengers. Apparently, Jack's solution is to ignore it and down a bottle or two of Xanax before every flight. Whatever works...I guess...2021-09-1710 minNo Time to Not Win74 - Should Be Labor Day All Year ManStothton discusses Labor Day with Nolan, the son of one of John's senior partners. Clearly, there is a substantial generation gap here, but regardless Nolan definitely deserves to get his ass kicked. I hope he doesn't represent the younger generation or we are truly fucked.2021-09-0729 minNo Time to Not Win73 - Flying Etiquette, Just Sit and FlyStothton discusses flying etiquette with Jack Walshman and Bill Chafton. Jack tells a story that serves as a perfect example of how not to act when you're on an airplane. Granted, he deserved everything he got since he was flying coach, but the story still serves its purpose.2021-08-3136 minNo Time to Not Win72 - F**k Buying HousesStothton discusses the stupidity involved in buying a house with employee Greg Mitchells. Greg has been trying to close on a house for months but is running into endless problems. Life sure is a lot easier when you're rich like John and just throw money and workers at s**t until it's done. 2021-08-2721 minNo Time to Not Win71 - Greg Summers, Cut-Throat Demon Mother F**kerStothton once again discusses suburban life with Greg Summers, but this time they're in John's building in NYC. They're on John's turf now and John is determined to free Greg from the cult of do-nothings and get him back to the life he was meant for; ruining lives, corporate espionage, and stacking more cheddar than Kraft and Velveeta combined. At least that was the plan, but it turns out Greg is ahead of the game on this one and he has some secrets of his own.2021-08-2026 minNo Time to Not Win70 - Cedar The WorldStothton wants to furnish his building's lobby with some plant life so in this episode he discusses tree options with two potential contractors, Joff Cedar and Nick Milnis. You can probably guess what kind of tree Joff wants to put in the lobby and Nick seems to be interested in pretty much everything else.2021-08-1316 minNo Time to Not Win69 - Driver’s Aids Are for Taking SelfiesStothton discusses modern automotive safety features with race mechanic Chase Wallaz and new employee Tyler Skyler. Modern car features are by and large pointless and they have led to a generation of truly awful drivers, like Tyler.2021-08-1022 minNo Time to Not Win68 - Suburban Cult of Do-NothingsStothton discusses suburban life and stepping away from big business with Greg Summers, an old friend of his. Back in the day, Greg was a financial monster, running and gunning all over NYC just like John. But, a couple of decades ago he stepped away from the game and gave it all up to live a peaceful and calm life with his family. What a loser...2021-08-0620 minNo Time to Not Win67 - I Live My Life For CoffeeStothton once again discusses coffee with Jack Tetherton. This time they also brought Nigel P. Porkfields, a self-proclaimed "coffee expert", to settle the debate of drinking coffee black vs. adding milk and sugar. Well, it turns out Nigel's coffee credentials are a bit fishy, but if you would like someone to come scream at your kids about coffee then Nigel is probably your guy.2021-08-0315 minNo Time to Not Win66 - 2021 Olympic Games, Not 2020Stothton discusses the 2021 Olympic Games with Bill Chafton and Jack Walshman. Does anyone actually care about this? I doubt it, but we were bored so now you get to listen to a couple old guys winge about it. Also, it's 2021, not 2020, so we're not gonna call it the 2020 Olympic Games because we aren't insane.2021-07-3010 minNo Time to Not Win65 - Adderall Placebo, A Thorough TestStothton and Tetherton discuss an interesting study that Tetherton came across regarding the usage of Adderall for cognitive performance enhancement. The study found that the supposed enhancement largely comes from a placebo effect rather than any actual effects due to Adderall. This would have been an interesting topic to take a deep dive into, but Tetherton decided to run an impromptu experiment on both of us and took the whole damn thing off the rails.2021-07-2710 minNo Time to Not Win64 - Ned Lebowitz Is Out of the HospitalNed Lebowitz is back again and this time he is finally ready to take some advice from Stothton. Ned has just recently been discharged from the hospital after suffering quite a few medical emergencies. It turns out that slamming HGH and trying to beat Stothton in a deadlift competition is a pretty bad idea health-wise.2021-07-2310 minNo Time to Not Win63 - Jeff Bezos Satisfies His CustomersStothton discusses Jeff Bezos stepping down as Amazon's CEO with political advisor Jack Walshman and an anonymous Amazon insider. Turns out this is the same Amazon shill we spoke to before and apparently Jeff is going to be focusing very heavily on improving customer satisfaction in his new position. I'll believe it when Jack gets his million bucks.2021-07-2011 minNo Time to Not Win62 - Coffee, Black vs. Milk and SugarStothton and Tetherton debate whether one should drink coffee black or with milk and sugar. Clearly, we are going to need an expert to weigh in on this.2021-07-1612 minNo Time to Not Win61 - COVID Is Over, Even if It's NotStothton discusses COVID paranoia with Jack Walshman. Whether we eradicate COVID or not, people are pretty much done giving a shit about it. Stop using it as an excuse to eat cheese all day and never leave your apartment. Or, keep doing that, but shut the hell up and stop whining about it.2021-07-1314 minNo Time to Not Win60 - July 4th, Boomin' and Clackin'Stothton discusses July 4th with Chuck Larry, a man he met on the subway the Friday before Independence Day. Did you have a fun July 4th, because Chuck sure did? I like to just sit back and relax with a nice glass of scotch, but apparently, the proper way to commemorate America's declaration of independence is by partying for 3 days straight, blasting fireworks and guns in the air, and lighting half a forest on fire. Silly me...2021-07-0911 minNo Time to Not Win59 - Learn How to Explain S**tStothton discusses problem-solving and troubleshooting with Bill Chafton. If you can learn these basic skills and if you can actually admit when you are wrong (or stupid) then you will lead a much more successful life. If you can't, well then I have a very nice 70th story window that I would love for you to see. The view is fantastic...2021-07-0632 minNo Time to Not Win58 - Uber Is a Cult and Their Service SucksStothton discusses the company Uber with Glenn Yulman, a representative from Uber. Let's cut right to the chase here, Glenn is clearly a brainwashed nut job and after talking with him I seriously think Uber might actually be a cult that is trying to take over the world.2021-07-0215 minNo Time to Not Win57 - Should Working From Home End?Stothton discusses the end of working from home with Richard Randall, a corporate morale consultant. It turns out that Richard is against working from home and seems to want everyone back in their cubicles, but it turns out that this guy has some ulterior motives. Richard, if you think John is ever going to hire you after this then you're out of your goddamn mind.2021-06-2910 minNo Time to Not Win56 - Ned Lebowitz Is Back And He PowerliftsStothton brings Ned Lebowitz back onto the podcast once again to try and help him with his horrible health and nutrition. However, since the last episode, Ned has been working on his own solution and he's pretty excited about it. I don't know what cocktail of drugs is coursing through this guy's system, but he has completely gone off the rails. Also, challenging John to a powerlifting competition was a very bad idea. Ned is going to regret that.2021-06-2515 minNo Time to Not Win55 - Clothing Etiquette, New Yorkers Are SoftStothton discusses proper summertime clothing etiquette with Bill Chafton. Do you wear heavy jackets or sweaters in the middle of summer? Do you wear any of these things while also wearing shorts? If so, then guess what? You're a crazy person. The only exception being a suit and it better be a damn good suit.2021-06-2214 minNo Time to Not Win54 - Ned Lebowitz Needs HelpStothton tries to help Ned Lebowitz get his health in order. Ned works downstairs at the front desk and he's a good worker, but good god this man has some serious problems. We're not giving up on Ned just yet, but this guy has a hard road ahead of him.2021-06-1814 minNo Time to Not Win53 - Apple WWDC 2021, But One More ThingStothton discusses the 2021 Apple WWDC event with Bill Chafton. Everything you need to know about WWDC is right here. We only cover the aspects of WWDC that are actually worth talking about. Everything else is nonsense, and there was a lot of nonsense.2021-06-1527 minNo Time to Not Win52 - Tesla Recall, Want a Free Tesla?Stothton discusses the recent Tesla recall with Bill Chafton. Tesla makes some interesting cars, but they better get their quality control in order before heavy hitters like Ford and Mercedes really get into the EV market. Also, if anyone wants a free Tesla, I have a warehouse full of them. All you have to do is find it.2021-06-1113 minNo Time to Not Win51 - Astrology vs "The Secret"Stothton discusses horoscopes, astrology, and "The Secret" with Ruby Bakersfield and Taylor Skye. Ruby is an avid believer in astrology and lives his life in strict accordance with daily horoscopes. On the other hand, Taylor thinks astrology is absolute nonsense but believes wholeheartedly in the teachings of some book called "The Secret". Is your destiny determined by the orbits of planets and stars or by some kind of magic energy you emit from your imagination? What's your choice? I say my destiny is determined by my warehouses full of gold and pelotons, but that's just me.2021-06-0821 minNo Time to Not Win50 - Peloton Recall, Nerf the WorldStothton discusses the recent Peloton treadmill recall with Tim Watson. Don't worry, we actually discuss the recall this time. Truly defective products are one thing, but at a certain point people need to take responsibility for their own lives and their own mistakes. Also, clearly Peloton treadmills were designed this way, because they are meant to be used as disciplinary tools when your children get out of line. It's a feature folks.2021-06-0429 minNo Time to Not Win49 - CDC Says "We're All Good"Stothton discusses the new CDC mask mandate with Gene Glantz. Let's be honest, there are a lot of people like Gene and that's why it's only a matter of time before we get another COVID spike and the CDC reverses this mask mandate. Also, anyone hanging around outside my building without clearance will end up in the same room Gene's in.2021-06-0116 minNo Time to Not Win48 - Jeff Corcoran, He's Always GreasyStothton fails to discuss the recent recall of Peloton treadmills with employees Tim Watson and Jeff Corcoran. Honestly, we tried, but Jeff just took this thing right off the rails. Instead, you're getting an episode about the greasy sad sack that is Jeff Corcoran. This guy is a mess, don't be like him.2021-05-2812 minNo Time to Not Win47 - Weed, Xanax, and Ecto CoolerStothton discusses marijuana legalization in the U.S. with grocery store owner William Greenburg and marijuana farmer "Jed" (no idea if that's his real name, but that's what he called himself). William is very much against the legalization of marijuana, and yet he has no problem selling Ecto Cooler that probably expired over a decade ago. What's your pick guys, weed or Ecto Cooler?2021-05-2526 minNo Time to Not Win46 - Colonial Pipeline, People Like PanicStothton discusses the recent ransomware attack on Colonial Pipeline with Jack Tetherton and Jack Walshman. If anyone at Colonial Pipeline wants consultation from my reverse-hacking team just contact me and we can set something up. No worries, it would only be a couple million per hour at most.2021-05-2124 minNo Time to Not Win45 - U.S. Healthcare, That's Payday SonStothton discusses the U.S. healthcare system with Gordon Temple, a consultant who is very unhappy with the current state of the system, and Dr. Olden, Stothton's childhood dentist. All I'll say is if you're looking for a dentist I would steer clear of Dr. Olden. But, if you want some laughing gas he can probably hook you up.2021-05-1835 minNo Time to Not Win44 - Double Bag Your GasolineStothton discusses proper gasoline containment with Jack Tetherton and Jack Walshman. Consider this episode a PSA, because clearly a lot of people have no understanding of gasoline. Guess what, it's a corrosive and volatile substance that's designed to explode inside your car's engine, so stop trying to store it in crappy plastic bags and buckets. Next week we'll go into more detail about the cyberattack on Colonial Pipeline.2021-05-1414 minNo Time to Not Win43 - Action Items and Hard StopsStothton discusses corporate jargon with Bill Chafton and Jack Walshman. It's very simple, never use any of the terms mentioned in this episode. If you do, you're an insecure pleb and you're definitely fired.2021-05-1123 minNo Time to Not Win42 - J&J Vaccine, Freakin' Out About Nothin'Stothton discusses the Johnson and Johnson vaccine pause and subsequent reinstatement with political advisor Jack Walshman and scientific advisor Jack Tetherton. Like damn near everything, the problem ultimately comes down to people and optics. If people had any real sense, none of the vaccines would even be necessary and Coca-Cola's stock would be soaring.2021-05-0718 minNo Time to Not Win41 - Gender Reveals, I'm Sure They Love ItStothton discusses gender reveals with Hermes Claywater and Timothy Larson. Hermes is staunchly against gender reveals while Timothy wholeheartedly supports them. In fact, Timothy seems to be so enamored with these things that you could almost call it radicalization. Regardless, this Timothy guy thinks he can take out my building just to show the world he's having a baby girl. What a moron...2021-05-0417 minNo Time to Not Win40 - Darth Vader is a F**king LoserStothton discusses Star Wars with Jack Tetherton and Bill Chafton. Let's get straight to the point, stop deluding yourself into liking these big-budget movies and tv shows just because you're "supposed" to like them. By and large, Star Wars just isn't good and anyone who is truly honest with themself knows that Episode 1 is the best Star Wars movie.2021-04-3028 minNo Time to Not Win39 - Jack Walshman 2021, Skids for the WorldStothton discusses some game-changing ideas for handling traffic violations with his personal mechanic Chase Walluhz and political advisor Jack Walshman. These ideas may seem fishy at first, but just keep listening. I don't think I'm being immodest when I say that in less than 30 minutes we basically developed a path to fix this entire country and all it would take is professional hooning.2021-04-2727 minNo Time to Not Win38 - Jeff Bezos CaresStothton discusses the reports that Amazon workers are peeing in bottles due to overly demanding working conditions and sparsely placed bathrooms with political advisor Jack Walshman and an Amazon insider who chose to remain anonymous. There's no need to worry guys, Amazon's working conditions actually maximize the health and fitness of their workers. The workers supposedly peeing in bottles just aren't up to Amazon's high standards. At least that's what this Amazon shill wants us to think.2021-04-2322 minNo Time to Not Win37 - Drive Fast, F**k the WorldStothton discusses automotive "hooning" with his personal mechanic Chase Walluhz and Peter Sofdie, a crossing guard. Some people say hooning is reckless and dangerous, but I say hooning just means driving in a manner that's not boring and stupid. Basically, hooning is not a crime and after Peter takes a ride in my Porsche I'm sure he'll agree.2021-04-2024 minNo Time to Not Win36 - Earthquakes and BASE JumpsStothton and Jack Tetherton discuss the recent earthquakes that hit Japan. Between earthquakes and tsunamis, Japan is having a pretty rough go of it. All I can say is we need to talk to a real seismologist because our current earthquake prediction capabilities are disgraceful. On a side note, Japan let me know if you want to move your island...I might be able to make that happen (for a nominal fee of course).2021-04-1613 minNo Time to Not Win35 - Mr. W Likes the SunStothton discusses climate change with scientific advisor Jack Tetherton and "Mr. W", a climate change denier. Remember, regardless of how much you believe yourself to be correct about any issue, it's important to hear all sides and be open to the possibility of new information causing your views to change. With that being said, Mr. W has some pretty wild views that I personally find quite difficult to get behind, but that's just me.2021-04-1318 minNo Time to Not Win33 - I Love a Good Egg HuntIn the spirit of Easter Sunday, Stothton discusses Easter traditions with two guys who work in one of my buildings, Thomas Jeremiah Clearwater and Saul Smith. Believe in Jesus or bunnies or whatever nonsense traditions you want, but one thing we can all agree on is that the egg hunt is the most important part of Easter.2021-04-0625 minNo Time to Not Win32 - Richard Ranger Rapes PotholesStothton tries (and fails) to discuss potholes with two guys I found roaming around in my building, Alex and Dick Ranger. Alex is some blogging moron who I suspect is mentally challenged and Dick is a mason with anger issues. I think we can all agree that potholes are the absolute worst thing on the planet and maybe next time I'll actually get to discuss a potential solution with some guests who have properly functioning brains.2021-04-0221 minNo Time to Not Win31 - Piss It Down and Snort It UpStothton discusses snow with Larry Charleston and Tim Dithers. Found these guys online and they apparently love snow, although there seemed to be a misunderstanding about what was meant by "snow". Let's be honest, this episode went sideways on me, but if anyone is looking to invest in a new business venture these guys have some pretty wild ideas for dealing with snow.2021-03-3019 minNo Time to Not Win30 - Import Meat Into Your MouthStothton discusses pizza toppings with twitch streamer Keith Summers and expert coconut handler Simian "Grace" Cthulhu-khan. Keith basically summed it up; pizza is a vessel for meat and cheese and anyone who uses it for any other purpose (I'm talking to you Simian) needs to be dealt with. Excuse the quality, my jet was running late so I had to conference in from the stratosphere. Don't worry, that pilot's been killed and replaced already2021-03-2615 minNo Time to Not Win29 - NFT's, the Dick Parts CollectionStothton discusses NFT's (non-fungible tokens) with tech reviewer Bill Chafton and political advisor Jack Walshman. Let's be clear, NFT's are meaningless and something only idiots take seriously. That being said...I just invested fifty million dollars into NFT's.2021-03-2320 minNo Time to Not Win28 - 5G Round 2, Full Speed BroStothton discusses 5G again, but this time with average consumers Charles Ginkler and "Matty Boy". Folks, all I'll say is this is exactly why I listen to experts like Jack Tetherton.2021-03-1911 minNo Time to Not Win27 - 5G, the Most Dank EverStothton discusses the pros and cons of the 5G wireless standard with Jack Tetherton and Jim Smithdgin.2021-03-1612 minNo Time to Not Win26 - Pixel 5 Round 2, Respect the ConStothton goes another round with Bill and Provine about the Google Pixel 5 phone.2021-03-1215 minNo Time to Not Win25 - Google Pixel 5 and Steve CookStothton discusses the Google Pixel 5 phone with Bill Chafton and Provine Something Something Blah Blah (let's see you try and spell this guy's last name...).2021-03-1112 minNo Time to Not Win24 - Xbox vs Playstation, You Gotta Have HaloStothton compares the new Xbox and Playstation video game consoles with tech reviewer Craig Slims (Chafton was busy). We recorded this episode shortly after the consoles were released, but then I forgot about it...so you're getting it now.2021-03-0912 minNo Time to Not Win23 - My Next Cat Scratcher is FrancisStothton discusses cat scratchers with Francis McGill III and Moreen Love. Moreen runs numerous cat sanctuaries and Francis...well...it turns out he just has a very unhealthy number of cats. Either way, Moreen gives some very useful information about cat scratchers, and Francis will be very useful...as a cat scratcher.2021-03-0514 minNo Time to Not Win22 - Books, Don't Forget Your GlovesStothton discusses books with Liam Gaffer. Liam is a museum curator and an avid book collector. This guy really loves his books. Seriously...if you have a good book you better be very careful around this guy. If you see gloves I recommend you run.2021-03-0413 minNo Time to Not Win21 - Snowstorms Are Bigger in Texas (or Are They?)Stothton discusses the recent snowstorm in Texas with Jacob John Bigsby III and Timothy Tinselwater, two Texas citizens who experienced the snowstorm first-hand. All I'll say is if these two schmucks represent how Texas handles some snow then that state is screwed.2021-03-0219 minNo Time to Not Win19 - Retirement Plans and KD RatiosStothton discusses planning for retirement with Jean Buckman, a young man who recently attended one of John's business conferences. John gets into different kinds of retirement plans and methodologies and tries to help Jean plan out his own retirement (key word being "tries"...).2021-02-2513 minNo Time to Not Win18 - Headphone Jacks, To Be Quite HonestStothton discusses the incredibly important topic of headphone jacks with world-renowned record collector and audiophile Hubert Henry. This man knows what he is talking about so you better listen up. Also, if you think it's okay to use wireless audio connections, Hubert is probably coming for you (and your jaw).2021-02-2311 minNo Time to Not Win17 - COVID-19, Straight CureStothton discusses COVID-19 vaccines with tech reviewer Bill Chafton and scientific consultant Jack Tetherton. This one goes a bit long, but the guys uncover a potentially disruptive vaccination technology that's been under our noses all along. Time to start investing in Coca-Cola.2021-02-1927 minNo Time to Not Win16 - Forest Fires, Newspaper, and GasolineStothton discusses forest fires with camping enthusiast Tucker (he wouldn't give his last name...I don't know why...). Apparently, campfires are no big deal as long as you have enough "Milles"...sometimes I wonder why the hell I talk to people...2021-02-1812 minNo Time to Not Win15 - Valentine's Day, CertainlyStothton discusses Valentine's Day with some whipped moron Clarence Penwater and some guy who apparently just goes by Randy. Let's cut to the chase-Valentine's Day is about making money (like every other day) and all of you who identify with Clarence know who you are.2021-02-1616 minNo Time to Not Win14 - 250ft Charging CableStothton and Chafton discuss the pros and cons of wireless charging. Just give me a 250ft charging cable and I'm good.2021-02-1211 minNo Time to Not Win13 - Veganism? I'm Sticking to Hot DogsStothton discusses veganism with sluggish bloated lifelong meat-eater Jim Ravolli and vegan researcher Skylar Reed. Is veganism a truly healthy and environmentally conscious dietary choice? Maybe...but maybe there's a better alternative...and maybe that alternative is hot dogs...2021-02-1112 minNo Time to Not Win12 - You're not in the Tour de FranceStothton discusses bicycling with Rick Razzler and Stohn Jothton. Let's cut to the chase-if you love cycling then you absolutely need to listen to this episode.2021-02-0914 minNo Time to Not Win11 - Electric Vehicles, Even in F***kin AfricaStothton discusses electric vehicles with oil tycoon Bill Tucker and electrical researcher Kip Coulomb. Ever wondered about the pros and cons of going all-in on electric vehicles? Every single thing you need to know is right here.2021-02-0512 minNo Time to Not Win10 - Daylight Savings Has Its PercsStothton discusses daylight savings with scientific consultant Jack Tetherton and "pharmaceutical salesmen" Danny Bagman. Should daylight savings be removed altogether? Turns out there is still one profession that benefits from those annoying time shifts.2021-02-0411 minNo Time to Not Win9 - Autonomous Scootin' Along CarsStothton and good friend Bill Chafton discuss self-driving cars, the current state of autonomous driving technology, and how to properly deal with slow drivers.2021-02-0211 minNo Time to Not Win8 - Big T Knows What's Good For YouStothton discusses the iPhone 12 with fellow money man Bill Chafton. Is MagSafe worth it? Why is Apple still using lightning ports? What would happen if Tim Cook told you he was going to serve you filet mignon? All the answers and more in today's episode.2021-01-2912 minNo Time to Not Win7 - Store Money in Stuffed AnimalsStothton discusses stuffed animals with stuffed animal connoisseur Balthazar Mellon and his agitated neighbor Peter Pusheme. 2021-01-2812 minNo Time to Not Win6 - New Year's Resolutions, Push Ups, and Birthday CakeStothton discusses the pointlessness of New Year's resolutions with old high school friends Kyle Harden and Bob Planter. Bob apparently got mad fat and can no longer fit on a plane so he had to join by phone... idiot. 2021-01-2612 minNo Time to Not Win5 - The Capitol Needs Stothton's SecurityStothton discusses the recent storming of the capitol building with tech advisor Bill Chafton and political advisor Jack Walshman and gives valuable advice about appropriate security measures. Jack and Bill had to call in from the other side of the planet so don't annoy me about the quality.2021-01-2217 minNo Time to Not Win4 - 40,000 Christmas LightsStothton discusses what is really important about Christmas with his good friend Bill Chafton.2021-01-2113 minNo Time to Not Win3 - I'm the PresidentStothton discusses the presidential election with fellow money maker Tim Watson. This was recorded a few weeks ago, but Stothton does what he wants and you need to know who is the real election winner.2021-01-1914 minNo Time to Not Win2 - Vote or Don'tStothton discusses the importance of voting with political advisor Jack Walshman and self-proclaimed "average voting joe" Ty Quill.2021-01-1511 minNo Time to Not Win1 - Ramen is FinanceStothton debates quality vs quantity with ramen aficionados Matsuhiro Matsumoto and Genji Korosu.2021-01-1210 min