Shows
Editing Our Drinking and Our LivesA Final (?) Wrap UpJolene and Aidan catch up after a long break in recording a podcast. Listen in as they share what they’ve been up to the past couple years and where they are focusing their attention these days. CONNECT WITH JOLENE: Gray Area Drinkers - https://grayareadrinkers.com/ Jolene on Instagram -https://www.instagram.com/jolene__park/ Email: jolene.park@gmail.com CONNECT WITH AIDAN: Aidan Donnelley Rowley aidandonnelleyrowley.com Aidan on Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/re__filled/ Email: aidandonnelleyrowley@gmail.com 2023-03-0358 min
Editing Our Drinking and Our LivesBurnoutFeeling zapped, exhausted and just plain tired? Alcohol may be what you are turning or have turned to in the past to unwind and get a reprieve from the demands of modern life. So, what can you do to downshift and rest without a drink? In this episode, Jolene and Aidan discuss their personal experiences with burnout this year and the practical steps they are taking to reignite their energy. They both share how alcohol used to slow things down for them during times of pressure yet the alcohol itself was draining in the long run. Now...2020-01-1228 min
Editing Our Drinking and Our LivesForgivenessHave you been berating yourself for your drinking, either past or present? It is time to delve into the work of forgiveness and self-compassion. In this episode, Jolene and Aidan share how they approach thoughts of regret and shame around their drinking. Forgiveness is not that easy but powerful reframes and self-education can deliver relief and grace during those times you berate yourself for your past drinking behavior. Jolene discusses how brain chemistry is often the underlying cause of the gray area drinking cycle and how to view your drinking with compassion and understanding. Aidan reflects on h...2020-01-1129 min
Editing Our Drinking and Our LivesThinking About DrinkingWhat happens when Jolene and Aidan have a bad day, dine at an idyllic bistro in Paris, or desire to escape tough feelings? Sometimes they feel the urge to reach for a drink - but they don’t actually follow through. They also discuss how they manage the feeling with self-compassion, joy and confidence through the pissy moods, bad days and the feelings of missing out. If you are struggling with moments of wanting a drink or thinking that you SHOULD be able to have just one then this conversation will be a balm for you...2020-01-1031 min
Editing Our Drinking and Our LivesIntuitionThree years after giving up alcohol Aidan started having lightning thoughts about her purpose. And, as Jolene comes up on her 5th alcohol-free anniversary, she too feels deeply connected to her intuition and is able to access her inner knowing with more ease. And, as a result, their lives keep getting better and better. So, in this episode, Jolene and Aidan felt called to share their own experiences with how intuition both led them to quit alcohol as well as to a deeper connection with their own inner voice. They also share how drinking used to numb...2020-01-0934 min
Editing Our Drinking and Our LivesGray Area DrinkingThere is a polarizing trend around drinking labels and what constitutes as “problem drinking”. So, what is gray area drinking and where does it fall on the “problem drinking” spectrum? This is a conversation in which Aiden and Jolene invite listeners to hear their personal stories with gray area drinking and one in which they work to define exactly what this label stands for. One doesn’t have to have a crash and burn story to stop drinking. Neither Jolene or Aiden had one. But, they both had a voice inside telling them “this doesn’t feel right”. That i...2019-02-1431 min
Editing Our Drinking and Our LivesRelationshipsDrinking is often intertwined with our closest relationships. So much so that we may continue drinking, even though a voice inside is wishing to stop, so that we don’t disrupt the status quo. How do we remove drinking from these relationships and what can we gain in the process? Aidan has been married for 14 years and met her husband at a bar. Their relationship began soaked in alcohol. When she quit drinking she credits her husband's support as making a huge difference in their progress. Now they enjoy a relationship that she says is much more pe...2019-02-1233 min
Editing Our Drinking and Our LivesPresent MomentOne of the greatest gifts of going alcohol-free is experiencing life deeply in the present moment. There is a quality of clarity and expansion that comes when we aren’t trying to escape into a drink. Yet, what do we do when the present moment is hard and trying? How can we sit in the hard moments without longing to escape? That is the million dollar question. Jolene is going into her 5th year not drinking and discusses how she had to develop the ability to tolerate pain in the present moment. She highlights the power of wr...2019-02-1131 min
Editing Our Drinking and Our LivesGriefGrief is vast and there is no formula for how to deal with it. Often when drinking takes a turn, loss and grief are found buried under the layers of the pain numbed by alcohol. When we go begin to unpack our relationship with alcohol we often find this story of loss and become reacquainted with the pain. Yet, we are rarely given a model for how to cope with grief sans alcohol. So, what do we do when we no longer use alcohol to numb the pain of loss? Aiden is currently grieving the death of...2019-02-1030 min
LOVE SOBER PODCASTLove Sober Podcast Episode Three 31 05 2018Episode Three: The Grey Area of drinking.
In this episode of LoveSober - The podcast, we discuss dispelling the myth that drinking alcohol is black and white, normal or alcoholism and the importance of widening the conversation on what “problem” drinking can be. We also talk about the wine witch and Addictive Voice Recognition Technique ®. We finish with some #reasonstolovesober
Resources mentioned:
EDIT Podcast – Jolene Park and Aidan Donnelley Rowley editpodcast.libsyn.com/
Claire Pooley - mummywasasecretdrinker.blogspot.fr/
Newsround report - www.bbc.co.uk/newsround/13848214
Jack Trimpney, Rational Recovery - rational.org/index.php?id=1
Catherine Grey - www.boo...2018-12-1833 min
LOVE SOBER PODCASTLove Sober Podcast Episode One 17 05 2018Welcome to the first ever episode of LoveSober –The Podcast for the sober and sober-curious with Kate and Mandy. In this episode we discuss the aim of the podcast and a little bit about who we are.
Resources mentioned:
Gretchen Rubin - gretchenrubin.com/podcasts/
Lucy Rocca – www.soberistas.com
Rebecca Weller – www.sexysobriety.com
EDIT Podcast – Jolene Park and Aidan Donnelley Rowley editpodcast.libsyn.com/
Please do contact us with questions, potential topics or situations you'd like to be discussed – we'd love to hear from you, all our contact details are available at www.lovesober.com
Many thanks to: J.Fletch P...2018-12-1724 min
Editing Our Drinking and Our LivesOne Year Of EDIT PodcastAidan and Jolene look back on one year of podcasting together and talk about the things that have happened in their lives as a result. They both shared their bright light moments -Jolene talks about her TEDx talk that she gave in November 2017 and Aidan talks about her TODAY show appearance in April 2018. Jolene also talked more about her online community for Former Gray Drinkers that she recently launched. This membership is for those who have made the decision to stop drinking and want to connect with others who have made the same decision. She wa...2018-06-2728 min
Editing Our Drinking and Our LivesReality CheckWhile every aspect of our lives can improve sans alcohol, the reality is there are still aspects of our lives that can still be difficult after we stop drinking. Both Aidan and Jolene have found that finding their flow, purpose, and focus helps them deal with reality. Giving up drinking does not solve all our problems but it allows us to clear the decks and look at what we need to focus on. Removing alcohol is not a protection or guarantee against hard, painful emotions or events. But giving up alcohol does allow us to r...2018-06-2631 min
Editing Our Drinking and Our LivesReaching OutJolene and Aidan talk about reaching out to a therapist, people in our lives who are supportive and we know are like-minded or communities online or in person. Opening up to people in our life versus trying to figure out this drinking question on our own. But sometimes it’s actually hard to reach out. They also discuss how and when to reach out to others who we are concerned about. Jolene mentions her Online Community For Former Gray Area Drinkers that she just launched to offer the “what’s next” content and community after we stop drinking...2018-06-2533 min
Editing Our Drinking and Our LivesHard MomentsJolene and Aidan share experiences they recently had with alcohol being front and center in their life. Even though they no longer drink they still encounter hard moments. These moments can be confusing, baffling and hard, no matter how good, strong and committed we feel. When drinking was part of our identity there will be moments where we’re reminded of who we used to be when we were around alcohol. They talk about what alcohol represented to them plus the effect that alcohol created and other ways and options to have that same effect and feeling now...2018-06-2429 min
Love Sober PodcastLove Sober Podcast 3 Grey Area drinking 31/05/2018Episode Three: The Grey Area of drinking. In this episode of LoveSober - The podcast, we discuss dispelling the myth that drinking alcohol is black and white, normal or alcoholism and the importance of widening the conversation on what “problem” drinking can be. We also talk about the wine witch and Addictive Voice Recognition Technique ®. We finish with some #reasonstolovesober Resources mentioned: EDIT Podcast – Jolene Park and Aidan Donnelley Rowley http://editpodcast.libsyn.com/ Claire Pooley - http://mummywasasecretdrinker.blogspot.fr/ Newsround report - http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsround/13848214 Jack Trimpney, Rational Recovery - https://rational.org/index.php?id...2018-05-3033 minLove Sober PodcastLove Sober Podcast 1 Love Sober 17/05/2018Welcome to the first ever episode of LoveSober –The Podcast for the sober and sober-curious with Kate and Mandy. In this episode we discuss the aim of the podcast and a little bit about who we are. Resources mentioned: Gretchen Rubin - https://gretchenrubin.com/podcasts/ Lucy Rocca – www.soberistas.com Rebecca Weller – www.sexysobriety.com EDIT Podcast – Jolene Park and Aidan Donnelley Rowley http://editpodcast.libsyn.com/ Please do contact us with questions, potential topics or situations you’d like to be discussed – we’d love to hear from you, all our contact details are available at www.lovesober.com...2018-05-1624 min
Editing Our Drinking and Our Lives#Dry Life + Social MediaJolene and Aidan talk about how social media and Instagram initially brought them together to start this podcast. They discuss how online platforms have played a role in changing how we think about drinking. It has become easy to quickly form online alcohol-free communities and the alcohol conversation is shifting because of podcasts, blogs, Instagram, and FaceBook groups. There is a sense of accessibility that is powerful and good. People can dabble and be "sober curious" at a distance. They can listen and participate at their own comfort level. The community of people becoming interested in...2018-04-0531 min
Editing Our Drinking and Our LivesOther People's OpinionsWhat do others say when they are drinking or not drinking around us? How did Jolene and Aidan navigate other people's opinions early on? People will certainly have conversations and opinions, but the fear of what others will think and say is often worse than what's actually said. Some people can be threatened or feel strongly that drinking is a part of life that shouldn't be missed. Taking alcohol out can feel punitive, perfectionistic and unnecessary for many people. However, the stronger you get in your own stance and the decision to not dr...2018-04-0331 min
Editing Our Drinking and Our LivesThe Moderation QuestionIs it possible to moderate? What do Aidan and Jolene think about moderation? Aidan says she could moderate but felt miserable. It wasn't pleasant to think about and plan for all the time. It takes the joy out of her day. However, moderation helped bring both Jolene and Aidan to their resolute decision to stop drinking for good. Jolene found once she drank the first glass of wine the neurochemical activation had begun and it was very difficult to moderate and say no to more glasses of wine. If you're thinking about moderating you...2018-04-0231 min
Editing Our Drinking and Our LivesMemes + MarketingJolene and Aidan discuss the troubling marketing of alcohol memes toward women and moms. The promotion of excess as a way to escape and cope is what's being promoted. These memes send the message that drinking is the way to make life better. As many are quietly trying to feel okay and justify their own drinking it's easy to thoughtlessly share these memes. Aidan voices her concern for people who are currently struggling with alcohol and how this marketing shows up in their lives especially when it's brought into the wellness world. What is the me...2018-04-0133 min
Editing Our Drinking and Our LivesFinding Your PeopleAidan and Jolene discuss how they found alcohol-free like-minded people through blogging, Instagram, FaceBook groups, and when social media connections can turn into friendships in real life. Jolene mentions how This Naked Mind and The HOME podcast weren't available when she stopped drinking so the online world is quickly and rapidly changing. They mention in-person groups like AA, Refuge Recovery, SMART Recovery, Women and Sobriety, Life Ring and the importance of being with people face-to-face which helps calm and regulate the nervous system. Aidan is part of a sober bookclub that was started by Mia Gl...2018-01-0733 min
Editing Our Drinking and Our LivesPublic Or Private?Aidan was public with her decision to not drink in 2012 with her Year Without Wine blog posts, but Jolene stayed quieter and more private in the early months of quitting drinking for good. Jolene shares how she wrote a blog post when she was 60-days alcohol-free but she didn't publish it. Through the evolution of not drinking though, they both developed and claimed more of their voice, which Jolene demonstrated in her recent TEDx talk. It's a very personal decision that depends on many factors, but if you feel called to speak out, Aidan recommends speaking publicly be...2018-01-0630 min
Editing Our Drinking and Our LivesNew Year, New You?Do you make New Year's Resolutions? What happens when, if you fall off course or routine? In this episode, Jolene and Aidan discuss The Four Tendencies (the upholder, the obliger, the questioner, and the rebel) by Gretchen Rubin. They also discuss how personal values, intentions, and clarifying your 'why' plays a role in making decisions and choosing things like your word for the year. When we understand our patterns, approach, personality, and biochemistry we can make empowered edits within our own lives. Is Dry January good or is it just a way to just beat ourse...2018-01-0533 min
Editing Our Drinking and Our LivesSpecial OccasionsThere will always be a holiday, a special event, anniversary, or celebration during the calendar year. It doesn't matter if it's December, April, July or any other month. Aidan talks about her recent holiday party that she hosted and Jolene talks about her first birthday without alcohol. When we shift our focus from the alcohol to the event, conversation, connection and activity it opens up a new realm of experience and possibility of truly being present in social situations. Both Aidan and Jolene have found that instead of feeling ostracized or questioned about not drinking, what actually h...2018-01-0434 min
Editing Our Drinking and Our LivesAnxiety Part TwoJolene talks about the role GABA plays in anxiety and how she used lemon balm, passion flower, holy basil, inositol, and L-theanine in the early days of quitting drinking to help regulate her own anxiety. She talks about how yoga can boost GABA levels as well. Aidan mentions the difference between anxiety and stress and Kelly McGonigal's TED Talk on How To Make Stress Your Friend. Through self-awareness and self-care practices like quality sleep and a good diet, Aidan finds these help buffer some of the stress she has been going through, along with reaching ou...2017-10-3036 min
Editing Our Drinking and Our LivesAnxiety Part OneAidan and Jolene talk about their early anxiety stories. Aidan didn't think of herself as an anxious kid, but Jolene did identify as an anxious kid early on and had panic attacks in Junior High. They both resonate with being high achievers who got stuck in a perfectionistic anxious loop in their minds. This episode goes deeper into exposing and giving voice to gray area of drinking as a way to regulate and medicate anxiety. With the help of a therapist, Aidan began to realize how much anxiety was actually underneath her drinking. Both Jolene and Aidan re...2017-10-2733 min
Editing Our Drinking and Our LivesShould You Stop Drinking?If you're asking the question, it's probably something you'll want to pay attention to. Sometimes just asking the internal question is more important than getting an external answer from others. Also, if you're questioning your drinking it might be prudent to stop for a short or long period and see if there is something to be gained? How much is too much for you? How frequently are you drinking? These can be interesting questions to explore but equally important is the question of how alcohol actually impacts you? Do you have shame and self-loathing around your drinking? Is...2017-10-2636 min
Editing Our Drinking and Our LivesIntrovert Or Extrovert?Aidan and Jolene talk about how they view their own introvert and extrovert personalities. How they feel about being alone vs with others as a way to recharge and regenerate. Aidan mentions the book Quiet: The Power Of Introverts In A World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain. Aidan also shares this quote from Blaise Pascal: "All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone." When we take alcohol out of the equation what really happens on the introvert/extrovert scale? For some people, it's harder to be a...2017-10-2528 min
Editing Our Drinking and Our LivesTo Count Or Not To CountThe decision to count or not count alcohol-free days is different for everyone. Jolene and Aidan discuss why they both like counting days and which apps they use. Aidan uses NOMO and Jolene used Good Habits and Quit That. Counting days can also be a way to mark and celebrate milestones as well as a way to connect with others within alcohol-free communities. Counting can also help keep the momentum going in the early days. There can be positive aspects to counting down the days (for a 30-90 day alcohol-free challenge) or in counting up the days to tr...2017-09-1531 min
Editing Our Drinking and Our LivesSleep + Drinking DreamsThis episode explores the havoc that alcohol plays on sleep and dreams. Alcohol can contribute to hormone, blood sugar and cortisol imbalances which disrupts sleep patterns in the middle of the night. Jolene mentions the Chinese Medicine theory of why we might be waking up at 3 am as well. It can take time (a couple weeks or months) to get sleep patterns back on track after removing alcohol from your life, so be patient. Aidan and Jolene talk about how to assess and evaluate sleep with tracking devices like a Fitbit Sleep rebuilds neurotransmitters - GABA...2017-09-1432 min
Editing Our Drinking and Our LivesThe Forever QuestionAidan and Jolene talk about why they committed to not drinking when they could get away with continuing to drink. Aidan wrote about her long-term commitment/decision in her blog post, Saying I Do To A Life Without Alcohol. But let's be honest, when gray area drinkers don't have to stop but choose to stop, it can leave the door slightly open to return to drinking at some point. On the flip side, there can be a sense of hope and relief when the firm decision to take alcohol out of your life is made. Jolen...2017-09-1337 min
Editing Our Drinking and Our LivesKids/No Kids + DrinkingDoes parenthood or lack of parenthood impact our drinking? Jolene and Aidan discuss how their personal desires to have children intersected with their own drinking. Whether it's the loss of the dream of having a child, the loss of an identity, or the increase of stress and anxiety when becoming a mother, alcohol plays a central role for many women in the kids/no kids equation. One of Aidan's primary motivators to quit drinking was the modeling she wanted to set for her three daughters. Jolene found she was able to deal with her grief from not having kids wh...2017-09-1234 min
Editing Our Drinking and Our LivesSocializing Without AlcoholJolene and Aidan talk about how they engage in their social lives without drinking. Both admit they are more of introverts than they once thought. They share some of the phrases they have ready if someone offers them a drink such as, “no thank you”, “I don’t drink anymore”, "I'm good for now" or "I’m on a cleanse." Aidan mentions the importance of being non-judgmental toward drinkers and balancing that with the uncomfortable feelings of being around people who are very inebriated. Ultimately, Aidan and Jolene agree that everyone must decide for themselves what works best when being around peop...2017-07-2534 min
Editing Our Drinking and Our LivesF-It MomentsThe evening hours are often a hard time to stick to the resolve of not drinking alcohol. Especially after a full, stressful day, you might say, “Why am I being so hard on myself? I can have a treat, I can have one drink.” You might be coming down from a hard day or you start to question why you’re being so strict or rigid with not drinking. Aidan has learned that these moments do pass and the feelings do change. Two of Jolene’s favorite phrases are “feeling aren’t facts” and “this too shall pass”. Aidan likes to imagine the next...2017-07-2432 min
Editing Our Drinking and Our LivesHangoversAidan looks back on her drinking days and talks about the surprisingly positive mental, emotional, existential aspects of her hangovers. Jolene shares the negative physical effects of her hangovers and how they ultimately motivated her to stop drinking. Jolene talks about the histamine, blood sugar response and explains how, during a hangover, our bodies are simply trying to regulate and bring things back into physical balance, and how we then beat ourselves up emotionally. Also, brain chemicals GABA (helps us feel less anxious) and serotonin (helps us feel less depressed) get depleted from too much alcohol. Aidan talks about how, w...2017-07-2344 min
Editing Our Drinking and Our LivesThe Power Of VulnerabilityJolene and Aidan debrief what it feels like to have the first six episodes of their podcast out into the world. They talk about the vulnerability hangover of sharing their stories along with the overwhelmingly positive response they’ve received from thousands of listeners who identify with the gray area of drinking. Jolene talks about hitting the sharp edges with her anxiety when they first released the podcast and she shares two examples of a medical professional who brushed her off and told her “she didn’t have a problem with alcohol” whereas another health care professional said she “would have r...2017-07-2238 min
Editing Our Drinking and Our LivesLife Without AlcoholAidan and Jolene talk about what life without alcohol has been like so far for them. They share what the best parts of the dry life have been as well as acknowledge the tougher parts. This episode is an honest, if surface, peek into life without alcohol. They both share how giving up alcohol has reduced their anxiety and they discuss the new level of presence and resilience they've found. Some of the more difficult pieces have been feeling lonely at times and pulling away from certain groups of people. They end this episode on a positive note about...2017-05-3142 min
Editing Our Drinking and Our LivesJolene's Stop StoryJolene talks about dancing back and forth between drinking and not drinking for many years and about how she reached her quiet tipping point on December 14, 2014. It wasn't planned and she didn't think of this as her last day of drinking, but after drinking on that Saturday and feeling sick until the next Tuesday, she knew in her bones she would not drink again. The Early Exit is a liberating choice because it goes beyond not drinking alcohol. Jolene has come to know and understand this is also about nervous system regulation and the ability to sit with the...2017-05-3034 min
Editing Our Drinking and Our LivesAidan's Stop StoryAidan talks about her "dance" between drinking and not drinking. She recently heard Elizabeth Vargas, author of Between Breaths: A Memoir of Panic and Addiction, speak at the She Recovers Conference. Vargas said, "when you start to drink to numb, that's something you need to pay attention to." Aidan agrees with that statement and shares her story of finally deciding to stop drinking for good. She mentions the pain of a miscarriage, how she used wine to self-medicate after the birth of her third daughter and then after the death of her father. Aidan reads her first Year Without W...2017-05-2934 min
Editing Our Drinking and Our LivesJolene's Drinking StoryJolene gives a glimpse of what her drinking looked like in the beginning. She didn't grow up around a lot of drinking and rarely drank in high school or college, but there was a pivotal point in her late 20's when things changed. She began using wine to self-medicate the heartbreak of a lost relationship. Jolene talks about how her drinking continued and escalated into her 30's and how she began hiding her hangovers more than her drinking. Even though Jolene was never a big volume drinker, her frequent drinking was becoming a problem. She shares how she started t...2017-05-2834 min
Editing Our Drinking and Our LivesAidan's Drinking StoryAidan gives a glimpse of what her drinking looked like in the beginning. She talks about coming from a family where alcohol is often celebrated and acknowledges that she has many good memories associated with drinking. She talks about getting accepted into Yale and receiving a celebratory bottle of champagne from her parents, but confesses that over the years, things began to change. An important turning point in her drinking narrative was an ill-fated Christmas party she hosted soon after her father was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Shame and self-loathing began to accompany her drinking even though she was "ho...2017-05-2730 min
Editing Our Drinking and Our LivesWelcome To Edit PodcastAidan and Jolene introduce themselves and talk about their decision to make an Early Exit from the drinking life. They also discuss whom they hope to reach with their podcast about the gray area of drinking and explore how they both used alcohol as a way to self-medicate their anxiety, the power of story and the ability to edit our personal story lines. Aidan shares a quote from Walt Whitman about curiosity versus judgment and Jolene shares a coaching tip about the neuroscience and benefits of finding like-minded communities. SUBSCRIBE Subscribe to 'Edit Podc...2017-05-2635 min