Shows
You Can’t Get to Heaven in a MiniskirtSex Therapy (feat. The Sexvangelicals)Bonus Episodes on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/heaveninaminiskirtToday we sit down with Julia and Jeremiah from the Sexvangelicals for a little bit of sex therapy. Both Julia and Jeremiah give us their deconstruction testimonies, and we discuss the pitfalls of purity culture and common themes they see in their work as certified sex therapists.Shoutout to Nicki Pappas. You can find information on Broadening the Narrative here: https://www.nickipappas.com/Where to find Julia & Jeremiah:Website: https://www.sexvangelicals.com/...2024-07-031h 01
The Carolina CabinetShow #107: Eric Stevenson on Education, Fundraising, and Conservative ValuesWelcome to another enlightening episode of "Carolina Cabinet!" Today, host Peter Pappas and Joshua Goodman are joined by conservative political candidate Eric Stevenson and community advocate M. Semone Pemberton. We'll dive deep into important issues such as conservative values, opportunity scholarships, and educational reform. Eric shares exciting updates on the expansion plans of Fayetteville Christian School and unique fundraising approaches.
Our discussion also explores President Biden's recent debate performance, potential new candidates like Michelle Obama, and the country's leadership and economic stability. Eric reflects on his campaign journey, emphasizing voter engagement and political financial challenges.
...2024-07-0255 min
Nutrition Nutz, with Philip Pappas Ph.D.Episode 3 | Enzymes: Essential for Digestion and More with Julia Craven of EnzymedicaSend us a textIn this episode, Jim's guest is Julia Craven of Enzymedica. They discuss enzymes, "critical powerhouses" as Jim calls them, and review how they work, what to look for in a quality product, how to take them, caveats, and why they are essential for more than simply digestive health.Speaking of digestion, Jim will also review recent information on ultra-processed foods and negative outcomes on our health.Tune in and see if you learn as much as we did. Julia Craven is Vice President of Education and Innovation at...2024-06-2045 min
The Parenting Presence073: Empty Parking Lots & The Negative Space, Attempting to See the UnseenThis episode is for those who find themselves in an inner space of awkward loss and silence, for those who feel grief and overwhelm from the events of the world. Here we reflect on the Middle East crisis, by stepping outside the politics and into the quiet solitude of a grieving heart. What do you do, when you don't want to talk, yet want to be heard? What do you do, when you don't know what to say, and yet want to be understood? When you can't reveal what's on your h...2023-11-1738 min
SexvangelicalsS3E17: Partnership Building: How to Navigate Deconstruction as a Couple When One Person Starts the Deconstruction Process Earlier, with Nicki and Stephen PappasWe did it! We just released our 100th episode! And we could not have a more fitting episode than with Nicki (@broadeningthenarrative) and Stephen Pappas. Nicki and Stephen answer the question: What happens when one person in a partnership begins the deconstruction process before the other partner? This can be a really intimidating, vulnerable process for a lot of folks, and Nicki and Stephen talk about their process of simultaneously navigating exploration, discovery, hope, grief, and fear of abandonment. We talk about: Function of Dreams Within the Church (3:00): “Last week, we talk...2023-10-231h 04
SexvangelicalsS3E16: Partnership Building: How Evangelical Communities Limit Your Dreams, with Nicki and Stephen Pappas What did you want to be when you grew up? In EMPish (Evangelical, Mormon, and Pentecostal) settings, growing up is commonly centered around finding your soulmate, getting married, having kids, and enhancing the church community. Or, as Julia says, “A person's dreams must serve the greater purpose of evangelism.” “When we consider gender,” she continues, “the complications get worse. Women support the “dreams” of their husbands. Husbands support the “dreams” of the larger church dictated by the pastor and the broader goals of the American Christian church, often supporting white nationalism and other conservative agend...2023-10-1558 minThe Parenting Presence072: Why Overcomplicating Emotions Harms Us and What To Do InsteadImagine if we needed to know everything about our lungs in order to take a breath. It would be impossible to live. And yet, something similar is happening with emotions. We no longer trust our basic intuitions about what we feel, because of so much noise in the mainstream narrative about the purpose of emotions and what to do about them. But how complicated are our emotions, really? Today let's chat about why the world of emotions has become so complicated and why it harms us when we overcomplicate emotions. How much should we...2023-10-0539 minThe Parenting Presence071: How to Have Respectful Interactions With Children, 30 Easy IdeasStrong relationships depend on respectful interactions. As we discussed in the previous episode, one of the things that will make the transition into the school year more smooth is to maintain a strong relationship with our children. But you may wonder, what does it look like? Afterall, respectful interactions are not about giving into the child's whishes, nor is it about being permissive. In this episode, I give you some ideas about what that may look like. If you'd like to have an easy-access visual reference to these ideas, you...2023-09-1226 minThe Parenting Presence070: Unconventional Back-to-School Parenting AdviceThe transition from summer vacation to the school year is typically centered around preparing children for the changes ahead. However, an often overlooked aspect is the well-being of parents during this shift. In this episode, we explore five unconventional pieces of advice that focus on parents' needs and well-being to ensure a successful school year. Mentioned in this episode: "Don't Blame The Brain" is the book you don't want to miss! In this book, I walk you through a simple and reliable process to get the most out of your emotions and feel b...2023-08-2540 minThe Parenting Presence069: Your Child's Unmet Needs, Hidden Opportunities, and Dealing with DiscomfortOur children rely on us for everything. Meeting our children’s needs is our responsibility. This seems like an accurate statement. But upon close inspection, it is only partially correct. Let’s see why… The younger children are, the more they rely on us. The older they are, however, the less they should need from us. That is the nature of growing up. The developmental purpose of childhood is to take the time needed to become an adult. And not just any adult, but an adult who is indepe...2023-05-3133 min
SlagpappaPappas slaghjerneNår hjerneslag rammer en familie, rammer det hele familien, og konsekvensene av de usynlige senskadene er som regel mest synlig innenfor hjemmets fire vegger. Julia Hoffmann Wollertsen er småbarnsmamma og pårørende til mannen sin (42), som hadde et massivt hjerneslag i 2021. I dag har han en rekke usynlige senskader som fatigue, tinnitus og svekket korttidshukommelse. Hvordan har det påvirket familielivet deres, og hvilke valg har de måttet ta? Thora-Lisa Brustad er talsperson for LHL Hjerneslag Ung Oslo og Akershus, og snakker om betydningen av å lage møteplasser for barn og slagrammede barnefamili...2023-05-2129 minThe Parenting Presence068: Don't Blame The Brain For Your Thoughts & FeelingsFor way too long we were told that the reason why we have negative emotions is because our brain is at fault. In other words, we were told that there are "errors" in our thinking and that the brain sends us false signals and creates problems when there are none. And so when we believe this to be true, we try to talk ourselves out of what we are feeling and do a lot of work to change our thoughts about what we feel. When you feel bad, it isn't your mind or your mindset th...2023-05-1930 minThe Parenting Presence067: How To Encourage Children To Do Their Best Let's talk about encouragement... When we know that children can do better, it is hard not to want to encourage them to do better. Right? We want them to do well. In fact, we want them to do their best. But will they? It all depends on how we approach these situations. The ones when we see a difference between where our child is currently at and where they can be... How do we encourage them in a way that is actually helpful? Tune into this episode, to...2023-04-1926 minThe Parenting Presence066: One Must-Read Book On Emotional Regulation You Cannot MissIf you only had time to read ONE book on emotional regulation, which one would I recommend? Until recently I would think long and hard about this question, because there wasn’t a book that checked all the boxes for me. Something was always missing. I finally found the missing piece and I have a book recommendation to make. "Don't Blame The Brain" is the book you don't want to miss! In this book, I walk you through a simple and reliable process to get the most out of your emotions and feel better finally. G...2023-04-0535 minThe Parenting Presence065: How the Child's Sense of Self & Boundaries Help with Emotional RegulationWhat do boundaries have to do with emotional regulation? In this episode we are exploring the connection between the Sense of Self and the child’s sense of psychological Boundaries and what they have to do with the child’s emotional regulation. We explore why there can be no mental health without a Sense of Self. And the child’s ability to form a strong Sense of Self depends on Boundaries. It is the child's Sense of Self that ultimately helps them regulate emotionally, because of things like self-awareness and self...2023-03-2225 minThe Parenting Presence064: Navigating Life Storms & Finding Strength in Dark TimesFacing personal losses and overcoming life storms is challenging as it is. But how do we do that in the context of the world at large that seems to be going through crisis after crisis, without an end in sight? Every loss and every challenge we face splits the path we’re on into two. One takes you towards disorientation and disintegration, which ultimately leads to more chaos. The other — towards a deep assessment of what matters. It keeps us grounded, while also planting seeds for next steps and growth. 2023-03-0836 min
Salt Lake ChamberSpeaking on Business: WTC Utah 'Crossroads of the World'This is Derek Miller Speaking on Business. World Trade Center Utah leads Utah’s international business development and elevates Utah’s global status to promote prosperity and build economic resilience. One way they do this is through the ‘Crossroads of the World’ series. Senior Director of Brand Julia Pappas shares more.
JULIA PAPPAS:
Last year, we hosted businesses and dignitaries from nearly 40 countries. The delegations visited Utah to forge connections through international trade. And while they were in town, World Trade Center Utah, the Governor’s Office of Economic Opportunity, and the Salt Lake Chamber connected each of these groups to Utah bu...2023-03-0701 minThe Parenting Presence063: Understanding Assertiveness & How To Teach Children To Be AssertiveAssertiveness is that special quality we want our children to have. But what is it? And how do we get it? What can we do to make sure our children become more assertive? Feeling lost? You are not the only one. I used to have trouble with it, until something became clear: The trouble with assertiveness is not that it is complicated, but that it has vague definitions. For example “healthy communication” and “being willing to understand others.” What does that even mean? Can it get any more...2023-02-2232 min
The CRY HAVOC CompanyLincoln Center Originals: The CRY HAVOC CompanyLive recording of Lincoln Center Originals: The CRY HAVOC Company, presented at the David Rubenstein Atrium at Lincoln Center on June 12, 2015. Featuring new plays by Jerzy Gwiazdowski, Jenny Kirlin, and Kitt Lavoie and the music of The Silver State.LINCOLN CENTER ORIGINALS: THE CRY HAVOC COMPANYDirected by Matt Cowart & Kitt LavoieGRIEVOUS CIRCLE by Jerzy Gwiazdowski (starting at 04:30)Bennett - Eric T. MillerJarvis - Allan K. WashingtonOUT OF TUNE by Jenny Kirlin (starting at 21:57)Charlie - Katelin WilcoxLouise...2023-02-081h 17The Parenting Presence062: Podcast Update, Exciting News & What To Expect In 20232023 is here and so are some exciting news that I really want to share with you. Here is what is coming this year: - making commitments to ourselves based on what truly serves us - my book on emotions, their purpose, and how to truly benefit from them. See details at www.dontblamethebrain.com - as we continue talking about children, we will also focus more on the adult (you and me) in that dynamic - more tools for you to strengthen your own wellbeing, so that you can sh...2023-01-0517 minThe Parenting Presence061: The Secret Lives Of Children And Why They Keep To ThemselvesHave you been wondering why your child is not sharing as many things as they used to? Do they give you one-word responses or would rather talk about things with their friends? Do they seem less interested in discussing different things with you? And does all of that make it seem as though they are hiding something from you or have secrets? Let's talk about it! First of all, this is important to address because it does create stress for us parents. It is not a pleasant experience to feel like your child is less in...2022-12-0736 minThe Parenting Presence060: The Right Gratitude Attitude That Supports You In ParentingLet’s be honest for a second. Is gratitude working for you? No, I am not asking whether you are trying to make it work, but whether you truly feel the way you want to feel when you engage in a gratitude practice. If yes, fantastic (read on, as it may be helpful to know why it's working so well) and if not, great too, because we will sort this out. Gratitude is a helpful practice for all parents, when done right. There is enough to worry about in parenting, to have...2022-11-1630 minThe Parenting Presence059: Why Resourcefulness Is The Skill Of The Future & How To Help Children Be ResourcefulToday we are talking about the third and final skill of the Future, which is Resourcefulness. It is one of three core skills our children will need in order to face whatever future may have in store for them. No matter what their life may look like, no matter what they choose to do, they will face challenges and will have to solve problems. That is why they will need to be resourceful in order to do that successfully. And yes, Resourcefulness is a skill we can build. It's no...2022-11-0131 minThe Parenting Presence058: Why Resilience Is The Skill Of The Future & How To Help Children Be ResilientToday we are talking about the second skill of the Future, which is Resilience. It is one of three core skills our children will need in order to face whatever future may have in store for them. No matter what their life may look like, no matter what they choose to do, they will need the skill of Resilience in order to manage it successfully. And yes, Resilience is a skill we can build. Whether a child has resilience or not, is not the question. It is how...2022-10-1937 minThe Parenting Presence057: Why Self-Regulation Is The Skill Of The FutureIn this episode we are talking about self-regulation as one of the core skills our children will need for the future. No matter what the future brings, no matter what they choose to do with their lives, they will need self-regulation. Regardless of what life throws their way, they will manage just fine, if they have the skill of self-regulation. Think about it… What can you really do, if you cannot manage yourself? Hardly anything. In order to be able to engage in productive action, we must be able to regulate oursel...2022-10-0433 minThe Parenting Presence056: What Makes Gadgets So Addictive & How To Prevent Digital DependencyIt is no longer a secret. Digital devices are designed to be addictive. That should be an automatic red flag when it comes to anything our children handle and interact with. Not only does this mean that it is important we monitor their use, but that we also must think about alternatives. But how can you offer a good alternative when gadgets are all your child seems to want? It's time to get to know brain chemistry a little better! If you know how the gadgets are tricking you and your chil...2022-09-2030 minThe Parenting PresencePodcast Update and Adapting to AdversityIt's been too long of a pause between episodes! An unintended one at that. It's time I said hello. In this episode I check in with you and give you a quick update on where things are. Host: Julia Pappas, Psychologist & Parent Coach With questions and comments, please reach out on Instagram @theparentingpresence. Additional info is available at theparentingpresence.com Want to explore another important issue? Sign up here for the Emotionally Intelligent Parenting training.2022-07-1212 min
203 sätt att göra honom vild i sängenÄrva pappas knullspegelI veckans avsnitt berättar Fredrik om monsterdildon han tar fram när det vankas besök. Julia avslöjar hur hon preppar sitt sovrum inför ett eventuellt hemsläp, och varför killar aldrig ska fråga om de ska hämta papper efter akten. Drömmer alla män om att bli förförda i sömnen? Vilken kändis är mest kompatibel med spegel i sovrummet? Och vem kommer egentligen att få ärva pappas knullspegel?2022-05-1842 minThe Parenting Presence055: Technology-Loving Children & Misguided ParentsThe one area where parents get tricked the most by clever marketing is gadgets and devices... Why? Because one of the clever (even though unethical) ways, in which smart devices are promoted, is through twisting of the language. When gadgets and devices are being sold to us, words that we are likely to find appealing are used to make us think that we are buying something "smart" and "engaging" and "educational", or at the very least -- something that is "developmentally appropriate" and good for our children. It isn't so. In this episode we...2022-03-2228 minThe Parenting Presence054: Have The Courage To Guard Your Children & Your ParentingHere is what most concerns me lately... I think that we have become too trusting. And because we are overly trusting, we become easily misled. Discernment is a skill every parent should have. You owe it to yourself and your children. Discernment is a mix of common sense with a healthy dose of skepticism. And let me tell you, there is a lot to be skeptical about. Especially when it comes to what is being pushed into our parenting world and in front of our children. We must...2022-03-0847 minThe Parenting Presence053: The Parent's Self-Esteem & How Much Does It Matter?Your self-esteem impacts your confidence, how you show up in the world, and the way you see yourself. Your own self-esteem also impacts your parenting presence. What does that mean? The way you show up in the world also impacts how you show up in the world of your child. And the way you see yourself also impacts the way you see yourself as a parent. And since children observe us all the time (that is the way they learn after all), they also see how we react to the world and...2022-02-2231 minThe Parenting Presence052: Will Your Child Be Prepared For The Future? Helping Children Become Future-ReadyWhat do future-ready children look like? And if the future is so unpredictable, how can we prepare our children for it? Thinking about the "great unknown" can cause a lot of anxiety. But here is the good news: Not only is there a set of skills and abilities that will make a difference down the road no matter what the future looks like, but these are also the things we can do today. So what are those abilities that truly matter, that will stand the test of time and will be re...2022-02-0128 minThe Parenting Presence051: How To Raise Children With The Future In MindIt is not easy to parent a child, especially in unpredictable times. Have you tried planning anything in 2020? Has 2021 turned out as you expected? With so many changes in how we live today and not knowing what we need to prepare our children for, it can be anxiety provoking. One of the ways we deal with that anxiety is by clinging onto what we think we can control -- our children. We try to decide ahead of time what specific skills they need to build and what private lessons they need to...2022-01-1129 minThe Parenting Presence050: Where Does Intrinsic Motivation Come From & How Can Your Child Get Some?Intrinsic motivation is the thing we think will get our kids to do stuff without us nagging at them. We hope that when kids are intrinsically motivated, the need for extrinsic rewards will go away... Put it simply, all of us wonder where does intrinsic motivation come from and how can our children have some more of it? If you've ever wondered — how can I make my child be motivated without tricks? — then tune into this episode. We explore where intrinsic motivation comes from and what parents can do to facilitate its de...2021-12-1431 min
The Unique WayExquisite Sex, Deep Intimacy & Mind Blowing Orgasms w/ the Queen of Putting Pleasure First: Stephanie PappasStephanie Pappas is a sacred sex & relationship coach & the queen of putting pleasure first. She is also an Erotic Blueprint expert & consultant. Stephanie helps singles & couples have exquisite sex & deep intimacy by exploring their erotic blueprint, doing shadow work & uncovering their truest desires. Topics of Discussion: Sacred sexuality Unblocking orgasms The erotic blueprints Sex magik, sending your orgasming up through the chakras, using it to manifest Why the word pleasure makes some women retract & why it’s so important The porn industry & the new...2021-12-1055 minThe Parenting Presence049: Finding Gratitude In Parenting & Seeing The Hidden In Our ChildrenParenting is so hard Kids are so difficult We are so worn out and nothing is working There is nothing to be grateful for Ugh Although there are times when all of this feels very true, let's also find the courage to look for that which makes it all worth it. We will find many things to be grateful for which may not be immediately visible to us. We begin to see what's there, as soon as we stop ruminating about what isn't th...2021-11-2324 minThe Parenting Presence048: Honoring Your Child's Sovereignty & Appreciating Their View of The WorldIn episode 046, we talked about three essential pillars to respect and the first one was about seeing your child as an Individual: A complete, whole human being with their own thoughts, needs, and feelings… Today we make a special emphasis on the Separateness Factor of being an Individual. As soon as your child is able to interact with the world intentionally, they begin to acquire their own experience, separate and private from ours. What that means is that there is a lot we do not know about our children. And...2021-11-1627 minThe Parenting Presence047: Why Do Children Lie? Understanding Your Child's Deceptive BehaviorWhat do you do when you catch your child lying? Have you been perplexed as to why this happens and what to do with this behavior? To tackle this challenge, we need to understand where the child is developmentally, and also be able to tell the difference between intentional deception and other forms of non-truth and storytelling. We also need to embrace the fact that lies, when they happen, tell us a lot about the child's hidden needs and can show us the way to approach the situation. Tune in...2021-11-0223 minThe Parenting Presence046: How Treating Children With Respect Helps Both of Us ThriveBeing respectful with children, no matter how frustrating they can be at times, is such an important contributing factor to their overall development. But the one thing we often miss is that treating children with respect also has a tremendous impact on how we feel about ourselves and our parenting. If we don't grasp that, we miss out on a very important emotional resource that can help us feel grounded and confident, and even help us thrive in our parenting journey. Tune into to this episode to hea...2021-09-2821 minThe Parenting Presence045: Screen Time For Kids, Developing Your Own DiscernmentAs gadgets become part of our children's lives, we begin to hear many opinions on what is "appropriate use" and how much screen time is OK. Where do you get your advice from? How much do you trust The Media? How many of your decisions you started to question based on what someone says? How to know what source is reputable and how to judge for yourself? Such important questions! Here is what I cover in today's episode: Learn what guidelines I use & recommend Hear my opinion about "tea...2021-09-1430 minThe Parenting Presence044: Understanding Avoidant Tendencies In Children & How To Reduce ThemIs your child simply unmotivated? Are they lazy? Is there more to their lack of engagement? In this episode, we talk about the differences between kids who don’t do stuff simply because they don’t want to and those who would like to, but can't. These are the kids with avoidant tendencies. They not only avoid activities that other children would normally avoid — such as chores or homework — but also those activities that would typically be fun and enjoyable. Why is that? At the core of avoidant ten...2021-08-3129 min
Chatabout Children Podcast with Sonia BestulicCC76 - Strengthening Emotional Wellbeing with Julia PappasIn our previous chat with Julia Pappas, we talked about what emotions are, what emotional development is, and how we regulate emotions. We’ve learned that our ability to acknowledge, express, and regulate emotion is a very crucial life skill and fortunately, as parents, we can teach this skill to our children. In this episode, we’re diving a bit deeper and discussing how to strengthen emotional wellbeing. We tackle specific strategies and tools that we can use to nurture that strength in our children, such as building emotional vocabulary, storytelling, simple observation, and so much more. 2021-08-1133 minThe Parenting Presence043: Unmotivated Children & How to Engage Them, 7 Basic PrinciplesHow do we resolve a lack of motivation in our children? It is not enough to be frustrated with our children or be disappointed in them. Although the feelings are completely justified, they do not make things happen. To see more motivated children, we need to put in a bit of effort to help them. There is no quick fix. Developing independence is a developmental process that takes time. But we can and should facilitate it. Of course you can try and use a trick — such as natural...2021-07-2823 minChatabout Children Podcast with Sonia BestulicCC75 - An Introduction to Emotional Development with Julia Pappas Raising children is not only a fulfilling and rewarding experience in itself but also one that is quite challenging – especially when we see our kids having temper tantrums, mood swings, and getting upset over the smallest things. Sometimes, these situations can leave us feeling frustrated, guilty, and shameful when we don’t handle them well. We wish our child would just remain calm all the time and respond positively in the face of disappointing situations but could that even be possible? Fortunately, our guest knows a thing or two on how to regulate our child’s emotions and reg...2021-07-2725 minThe Parenting Presence042: The Negative Impact of Comparison On The Child's Self-EsteemWe’ve all done it. At one time or another, we have compared our children to someone else’s. How many times have we said, “Look at so-and-so, why can’t you be like them?” Even though never said with an ill intent, comparing children leads to poor self-esteem. A few takeaways from this episode: Before the child can look to someone else as a role model and feel inspired to do what they do, they need to have a strong sense of self-worth already instilled in them. The child relies on our approval and feedback, in order t...2021-07-1329 minThe Parenting Presence041: When You Can't Meet Your Child's NeedsSometimes you are just spent and have nothing to give. Sometimes, even if you’d like to be there for your child, you just can’t. Whatever the reason, sometimes we are not there for our children when they need us. Is that a problem? We’ve talked before about how important it is to take care of your child’s needs. Getting needs met is a critical part of our child’s development, on many levels. We also talked about the difference between the needs and the wants, so that meeting the c...2021-06-2924 minThe Parenting Presence040: What Is Connection With Children Really All AboutStaying connected with our children is important. But what does it even mean? What does connection look like when it’s there, and how do we know when it’s missing? Lack of connection is evident in our difficulty to have an impact on our children either with words or actions. That is what we see at the surface. What creates a strong connection? In today's episode, I am offering a shift in perspective that may give you a very clear look as to what connection is and what it is built o...2021-06-0828 minThe Parenting Presence039: How To Set Limits Without Power StrugglesWe often think that it is the limits that children resist, when in fact it is the power and control we exert over them that they don’t welcome. Your child has will power, just as do you. When we over-control children, we end up with power struggles. In order to have limits without the power struggles, we need to empower our children and give them the sense of control. That is accomplished through a diplomatic approach, that sees the child as a separate individual with their own drive and wants. 2021-05-1128 minThe Parenting Presence038: How Holding Space for Children Gives Us Back Our TimeWhen children are well-regulated, we spend less time regulating them. Less time spent on tantrums and arguments, means more time for us and for ourselves. When we invest a bit of time upfront, we get our time back. So how do we do that? To help children be more balanced and well-adjusted, we show them that they matter and are important to us. We do that by giving them our time and attention. This is also known as "holding space" and creating quality moments that can last from a short few mi...2021-04-2038 minThe Parenting Presence037: Why Children Break Our Boundaries & How To Stop It From HappeningWhen we feel frustrated and exhausted with our child's behavior, we may be attributing our feelings to the way our child behaves. But why do our children behave the way they do? Often an answer to that is poor boundaries. Lack of good boundaries in a Parent-Child relationship can lead to frustration, burnout, and even resentment. Very often we tend to attribute poor boundaries in that relationship to our children, and when we do that, it makes us feel powerless to change our dynamic. And yes, it's true...2021-04-0630 minThe Parenting Presence036: Managing Expectations With ChildrenExpectations and limits can send out kids into resistance and tantrums... How well your child is following expectations and limits you set for them, depends on three important keys: How reasonable these limits are The quality of our relationship with the child How repetitive and consistent are these limits If the child is not following expectations we already set for them, the likelihood that they will comply with even more expectations — is miniscule. So before we set new limits, we need to troubleshoot our previous efforts by focusing on these three keys: Reason, Rela...2021-03-2337 minThe Parenting Presence035: Where Do Lazy Children Come From And How To Fix ThemDo you have a lazy kid? How can you tell? If any of the following is true, today's conversation may be for you: If your child never tidies up their room and it always looks like a tornado zone If every chore you ask their help with is declined with disgust If there is no school subject your child does well in, despite adequate abilities If your child is avoiding anything that requires thinking or concentrated effort If the child shows no perseverance and gives up as soon as failure is sensed If the child can neve...2021-02-2334 minThe Parenting Presence034: If Holding Space for Children is Not Easy, How To Resolve ObstaclesHolding space for children is one of the most important things we can do for their wellbeing and healthy emotional development. Although it is a relatively simple practice, sometimes holding space seems like the hardest things to do? Why is that? In this episode we explore 5 most common reasons that prevent us from creating space and focusing on the child. Sign up here for the Emotionally Intelligent Parenting training. Host: Julia Pappas, Psychologist & Parent Coach More info at theparentingpresence.com2021-02-0932 minThe Parenting Presence033: Returning To Sanity And Becoming Your Own ExpertExperts are great, unless you can't follow their advice. Experts are great, until they confuse you. Experts are great, until they disagree. So then what do you do? Whom do you listen to? It's simple. You listen to yourself. Experts know a lot, but the one thing they don't know is you and the particulars of your life, your child, and your situation. In this episode I touch upon what you need to know in order to be more empowered to be your own expert when i...2020-12-2227 minThe Parenting Presence032: Preventing Parent Burnout, 8 Steps To Restoring EnergyKnowing how important it is to maintain our well-being as parents, what would you do to prevent parent burnout? You could probably quit your job if it were driving you crazy, but you can’t quit your children, no matter how much they exhaust you. Typical suggestions given to people that experience job stress (such as, taking a vacation, setting boundaries on your time, switching teams, etc.) do not quite work for parents. While setting boundaries is definitely a must, it can only can be done to a certain extent because: you cannot close the...2020-11-1023 minThe Parenting Presence031: Parent On The Back Burner & Why Parents Burn OutParents burn out for many reasons, the most important of which is neglecting their own needs. Parenting is a demanding job, with many energy taxing tasks. The most energy draining one of them is holding our child’s emotions. Even though we want to be there for our children, supporting them emotionally -- is a lot of work. Our emotional energy gets spent the most when we are helping our child to process their strong emotions. Parent burnout is quite complex because it goes beyond physical or men...2020-11-0325 minThe Parenting Presence030: Meeting the Child's Needs vs. Bending to Their WishesWhy is it that we can assert ourselves with other adults, but give in with our children? Why is it that we can decline an invitation and say “Thank you for thinking of me, and I won’t be able to. I have made other plans.” Yet we feel forced into a game our child set up for us... It is harder to tell NO to our children than it is to other people. Why is that? Because we misunderstand what our role is as a parent and think that it is our r...2020-10-2725 minThe Parenting Presence029: The One Need That Matters Most in ChildhoodOut of all the needs children have, the need for acceptance plays a critical role in their development. Understanding this very essential and basic need, holds the key to understanding our roles as parents. Sign up here for the Emotionally Intelligent Parenting training. Host: Julia Pappas, Psychologist & Parent Coach More info at theparentingpresence.com 2020-10-2020 minThe Parenting Presence028: Overstepping The Child's Boundaries, Mistakes To Watch Out ForBesides accidental boundary crossing, repeated violations happen when we do not acknowledge that children need to have their boundaries respected and protected. A child, no matter how young, has the right to have their own psychological and physical space. The older they are the more that space will expand. This is the way they develop their sense of Self. Children also have the right to not be involved in other people’s psychological and physical space, by not being forced into things that do not truly serve them. In t...2020-10-1326 minThe Parenting Presence027: How To Receive So Children Share, The Gift Of ListeningDo you know that the best way to build a strong relationship with the child is to listen to them? But do we know how to listen? Listening done right, helps us see. We may be listening to children all the time. After all they rarely stop talking if you let them. But are we actually receiving what it is they share? When we shift from simply hearing our child’s voice to truly understanding their perspective, we move from simply looking at our children to truly seeing them. 2020-10-0627 minThe Parenting Presence026: The Right Balance of Freedoms & LimitsChildren need both, freedoms and limits. Freedoms without limits create chaos. But too many limits lead to unmet needs. How do we get this right? It can be tricky to navigate the new way we build relationships with our children, especially as we become more aware of their rights and needs. So is it OK to say “no” to your child and how many times? How to stay clear of overindulging? The right balance of both freedoms and limits not only helps our child develop, it also builds our relat...2020-09-2927 minThe Parenting Presence025: Dynamics of Respect Between Parents & ChildrenThe way we understand respect, determines a lot about how we parent and how much we enjoy it. In the past, parents demanded respect from children (remember how it was when you were little?), but today children expect it from parents. What that practically means differs hugely from family to family, and each has its own dynamics of respect. What is your understanding of respect? Do children deserve it and what does it look like? As parents we may be eager to do many things i...2020-09-2229 minThe Parenting Presence024: From Emotional Contagion To Emotional ResilienceToday we dive into the topic of Emotional Contagion. We discuss: what it is why it happens when it's more likely to occur who is more susceptible to it It is challenging to process negative emotions, but when it so happens that those emotions are not even ours, we may find ourselves overburdened, unable to function, and even in panic. These are the detrimental effects of emotional contagion, but they are completely preventable. The antidote to emotional contagion is — emotional resilience. Emotional resilience is built on self-awareness and emotional regul...2020-09-0828 minThe Parenting Presence023: How To Boost Your Child's Self-EsteemWe want our children to feel good about themselves? Are pats on the back enough? Will praise do the work? What to do when they are down on themselves? The tricky thing about self-esteem is that the process of developing self-esteem is mostly internal — it is based on beliefs and perceptions the child has of themselves. And a lot of that happens to go on inside their minds. Still there is a lot you can do as a parent. Instead of looking for artificial “boosters,” we can focus on providing the environme...2020-09-0124 minThe Parenting Presence022: How To Stop Parenting From Guilt In 4 StepsLiving free of parenting guilt does not make you irresponsible. Quite the opposite — it makes you responsible for the right things. You already carry a lot as a parent, so why torment yourself on top of it with guilt? The consequences of parenting that is driven by guilt are pretty serious. To name a few: ❌ We are not our best selves when we carry the burden of guilt. ❌ We don’t give children what they need because we misinterpret their behavior. ❌ We are at risk for burnout. ❌ We build up resentmen...2020-08-2530 minThe Parenting Presence021: Parenting Guilt or Parenting Regrets? Why You Need to Know the DifferenceParent guilt is a huge issue and parenting from that place is a huge problem. Bigger than we think. It compromises our mental health. It also gets in the way of us enjoying parenting. But did you know that carrying the burden of guilt is optional? What if things were different... They can be! Even though the feeling of guilt is inevitable when we first become parents, it does not need to be permanent. Instead of dwelling on guilt, which is unproductive & harmful for our mental health, we can learn to un...2020-08-1830 min
The Teach Joyfully PodcastHow to Effectively Set Limits in the Classroom for Better Student BehaviorIt's an eternal truth that we cannot control another human's behavior. We can try and often do, but it just results in a power struggle where no one wins. However, helping our students find success by teaching and maintaining boundaries and setting limits does work. Today's guest, Julia Pappas, is a Psychologist and a Parent Coach, and is also the host of The Parenting Presence podcast. Julia has over 15 years of experience working with parents and their children, working in schools and has particular expertise in child development, behavioral regulation, and learning needs. 2020-08-1358 minThe Parenting Presence020: How To Affirm & Validate Your ChildBeing acknowledged and validated is such a reaffirming and deeply positive experience. It is empowering and supportive. It is critical for our mental health. If you have felt this before, you know how important it is for our mental health — feeling good, accepted, and recognized. And, it is just as significant for our children. Not only do they get to feel this way too, but it actually goes deeper than that. Validation and acknowledgement shapes their psychological boundaries, their Sense of Self, and their Self-Esteem. Even when we unde...2020-08-1125 minThe Parenting Presence019: Do Children Really Need Psychological Boundaries?Parents generally are more likely to talk about physical boundaries with children, than they are about psychological ones. And this is understandable, because we want to teach children to be safe and know how to stay away from unwanted touch. But it is just as important to be able to detect any kind of unwanted interactions. Children need to be able to respond to inappropriate behavior towards them and be able to tell if they are treated with respect. Knowing what is unwanted comes from knowing what is within one's comfort zone....2020-08-0425 minThe Parenting Presence018: Should You Be Worried About Your Child's Self-Esteem?When we notice our child not having confidence to do something, we begin to worry that their self-esteem is low and that we need to do something about raising it. Is there a way to raise the child’s self-esteem? There sure is, but it is not about giving the child a compliment or showering them with praise. Building self-esteem is a slow process that the child goes through independently. Of course, there is something we can contribute. We can support them. But we cannot raise self-esteem on our c...2020-07-2822 minThe Parenting Presence017: Everyday Opportunities To Teach Boundaries To ChildrenDo you protect your own boundaries? If yes, then you know the value of teaching the same skills and awareness to your children. For these essential lessons, it is never too late to start, but the earlier we start — the better. Where would you even begin? How to teach boundaries to children? Isn’t it such an abstract concept? It can be tricky to wrap your head around psychological boundaries — the ones that have to do with our Self, our inner world. These boundaries would have to do with the...2020-07-2128 minThe Parenting Presence016: Teaching Boundaries To Children & The Importance Of Starting EarlyDid you know that boundaries and having the sense of boundaries is a big deal? It is the one thing that defines a healthy personality and plays a major role in the person's Sense of Self. Because it takes time to raise a child, we need more time to teach boundaries. And because it takes time for children to develop their sense of self, we need to give them plenty of opportunities to experience their own boundaries within the world of others. A person with a weak sense of sel...2020-07-1422 minThe Parenting Presence015: Parents Have Feelings Too - Emotional Regulation For AdultsIf you know that emotions are important, what do you do with them? If you know that emotional regulation is a skill, what does it accomplish? And if you know there is a way to process what you are feeling, how exactly do you do that? This is not a test. But it is important to know the answers to these questions, because it makes your parenting more enjoyable and has an impact on the rest of your life. When we talk about emotional regulation, we fo...2020-07-0725 minThe Parenting Presence014: The Parenting Paralysis - Guilt & What To Do About ItGuilt is a paralyzing and unproductive emotion. Carrying guilt throughout our parenting is something we are used to doing but it takes away from the positive experiences with our children. Tune into this episode to discover what drives parent guilt and how to resolve it. Here are some take-aways from the episode: Accept that parenting is a process. The way we parent in the 21st century is new to humanity and we keep evolving. We know the importance of the right care for the child, but sometimes we put...2020-06-3036 minThe Parenting Presence013: Nurturing Your Own EmotionsYou may already know from Episode 10 that to nurture the child’s emotions means to care for their emotional world. We care by accepting, supporting, and helping the child grow. Nurturing our own emotions is similar in this way, but has a set of its own challenges: One challenge to this process is lack of acceptance of our own emotions. Often, it is easier to accept that a child — because of their development will and can have emotions, but that we shouldn’t. It is easier to accept that a child may have strong feelings and meltdow...2020-06-2432 minThe Parenting Presence012: Children Are Not Colorblind & How To Talk About RaceSomeone spread this idea that since children are born colorblind, and are not likely to show prejudice, and that adults also can become colorblind in their social interactions. Hmmm... Not only are children very color-aware, but they also do display racial prejudice as young as at two years of age. Everything depends on how they were brought up. Since color-blindness is not really a thing when it comes to race, how do we address that with our children? What kind of work we do with them? What do we teach them and how? 2020-06-1630 minThe Parenting Presence011: Raising Antiracists - The Parent's WorkIt’s bewildering to witness crimes against Black lives and racial injustice in 2020. The events of the last several days are life-changing and have EVERYTHING to do with parenting. There is a lot we can and need to do. Whether you feel this way or not just yet, I want to underscore that change IS coming. We have to make space for it. To give you a sense of my context: I have a formal training in multiculturalism. I work with people of color on a weekly if not daily basis. I have B...2020-06-0929 min
Chatabout Children Podcast with Sonia BestulicCC43 - Strengthening Emotional Wellbeing Part 2The chat continues with the wonderful Julia Pappas. This time we delve into how to strengthen emotional wellbeing in our children (and ourselves too!); and discover what emotional wellbeing actually is anyway! Parenting and/ or working with children is an ongoing learning journey; and there are some fantastic insights shared by Julia today. Julia is Psychologist and a Parent Coach, who empowers parents to own their mission, discover limiting beliefs and parenting blocks, and helps develop essential skills so that parents can have the most fulfilling years of their life while raising children. Look forward to you joining the...2020-06-021h 00The Parenting Presence010: Nurturing Your Child's EmotionsOur children express a range of emotions. Sometimes we are not sure how to deal with them. Have you ever caught yourself getting angry when your child is angry, or get anxious when your child is anxious? Sometimes we may wonder who is on a roller-coaster, us or the child... Sounds familiar? When we get closer to our child's emotions and learn to be with them, we give priceless lessons to our children about their own inner world. It is not something to run away from, to be mad at, or feel hopeless about. It i...2020-05-2922 minThe Parenting Presence009: Why Is Parenting So Hard?Why Is Parenting So Hard? No really… Why? We may give different explanations… Some of them are part of stories we recycle among ourselves — like the one that says “it’s because kids are kids” (whatever that means) and that “dealing with kids is hard” (ok, but why?)…. These reasons may sound appealing and completely justified, but they are secondary to the true reasons, which lie much deeper. The true reasons have to do with ourselves. Even though this may not sound very uplifting, I...2020-05-2625 min
Chatabout Children Podcast with Sonia BestulicCC42 - An Introduction to Emotional Development PART 1A wonderful chat with Julia Pappas! A Psychologist and a Parent Coach, who empowers parents to own their mission, discover limiting beliefs and parenting blocks, and helps develop essential skills so that parents can have the most fulfilling years of their life while raising children. This episode Julia helps us understand; what emotional development looks like, how emotions are regulated and the factors influencing children's emotional development. This is part one of our chat. Part two, coming up next episode, will delve into how to strengthen children's emotional wellbeing (and ours too!). Enjoy the chat with Julia!...2020-05-1948 minThe Parenting Presence008: What Kind Of Love Do Children Need?What do children need most from their parents? We often hear that love is all that children need. The words "love" and "need” are used every day, and because of that, they have come to mean many things. And yet the way we understand them is very influential in how we raise our children. So it is true that love is all our children need? Yes, it is. Love is all they need. And no, it isn’t. Love is not all they need. Which answer is the rig...2020-05-1921 minThe Parenting Presence007: Shaping a Healthy Self-EsteemHow does losing at a game or getting a poor grade impact the child’s self-esteem? If they are really upset about it, what implications will that have on their future sense of self-esteem? Although these are valid and potentially unpleasant life scenarios, the answer to a healthy self-esteem is not in figuring out how to respond to each of these situations. It is what happens on a daily basis outside of these scenarios, that helps the child process life events like these when they do come up. The role of a parent is huge when i...2020-05-1327 minThe Parenting Presence006: Parenting Essentials - BOUNDARIESWhat are BOUNDARIES and what do they have to do with parenting? In this episode we explore the last of the three Essential Elements to a solid parenting foundation - the BOUNDARIES. Why are boundaries such an essential element to parenting? It is critical for our child's personality development and is a promise for our own well-being. We explore the concept of BOUNDARIES from the perspective of: a) something that defines an individual and talk about why that is important, and b) as a process of...2020-05-0623 minThe Parenting Presence005: Parenting Essentials - VALUES In this episode, we will look at values from the standpoint of an internal system of beliefs and attitudes that guide our behavior in parenting. Whether we are aware of it or not, we parent from a place of beliefs and expectations, and every choice we make as parents is guided by our values. We explore how VALUES apply to parenting in two ways. One, as our own guide and how it impacts our actions, what we decide to do, who we listen to, what we consider important, and so on. And another...2020-05-0622 min