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Divorce on Planet Earth: Real World Advice for Well-Intentioned HumansAdults Whose Parents Split: The Invisible Children of DivorceWith divorce rates rising among people who are over 50, many of today's children of divorce are adults themselves- often with families of their own. Divorcing couples often assume their grown-up kids are "just fine." But these "invisible children of divorce" are impacted just as profoundly as their younger counterparts, often in surprising and complex ways. Kate is joined by psychologist Lisa Herrick, PhD, who shares important tips for older divorcing parents and their adult children.
2024-01-0139 minDivorce on Planet Earth: Real World Advice for Well-Intentioned HumansSeparating Finances in Divorce: It Doesn't Have to be a Nightmare with Debora May, CPA, CFP©, CDFA©Dividing finances in divorce- most separating couples dread it. After all, when you got married you didn't imagine having to discuss dividing all the assets you acquired during your marriage. Suddenly, the person you once shared a life with feels like an adversary. But it doesn't have to be so hard. Most people don't know that there are financial professionals with specific expertise in shepherding couples through this tough terrain in ways that can lessen anxiety, reduce conflict, answer crucial questions, generate new creative options, and take into account the needs of the entire family-- now and into the future...
2023-11-2841 minDivorce on Planet Earth: Real World Advice for Well-Intentioned HumansEpisode 29-Protecting Your Children in Divorce: An Update on the Latest Research, with Dr. Lisa HerrickIf you’re a divorcing parent, worries about how the split will affect your kids is probably the most upsetting and scary part of the whole experience. You have lots of questions, including "Is there anything I can do to make sure my divorce doesn’t have a permanent negative impact on my children's development? According to our guest today, Dr. Lisa Herrick, the answer is a resounding "yes!"
2022-06-1245 minDivorce on Planet Earth: Real World Advice for Well-Intentioned HumansEpisode - 28 Covid, Mortgages, and What to Do with the HouseEven before the pandemic, divorcing couples struggled with the questions "What should we do with the house?" and "Where should each of us live?" Now, divorcing couples (many of whom have been trapped under the same roof for over two years) are struggling to understand the impact of Covid on such issues as finding (and qualifying for) the right mortgage, dealing with credit problems, understanding inflated property values, deciding whether to rent or buy, the implications of rising interest rates, and the the potential implications of temporarily inflated or deflated incomes-- to name just a few. In this episode Kate...
2022-05-1532 minDivorce on Planet Earth: Real World Advice for Well-Intentioned HumansEp 27 - The Modern Pre-Nup: There's a Better Way, Really!Who’s afraid of the big bad prenup? Well, if you’re getting married probably you. So you might be surprised to learn that crafting a pre-nup should be a positive experience- one that strengthens the bond between you and your future spouse and sets you on a road to a happy, healthy marriage. Attorney Suzy Eckstein joins Kate to explain.
2022-01-0442 minDivorce on Planet Earth: Real World Advice for Well-Intentioned HumansEpisode 26 - Divorce, Mortgages and What to do with the HouseIf you're getting separated or divorced, where you'll each live is one of your biggest concerns. You have questions, like: "Can one of us keep the house?"; "Should one of us buy the other out?"; "How do we figure out what our house is worth?"; "Can I qualify for a mortgage, and what can I do to increase my chances?"; "What if I have been out of the job market for years?", and "If I don't keep the house, should I rent or buy?" Mortgage professional Margie Hofberg has over 15 years' experience helping separating and divorcing people to navigate this...
2020-03-2056 minDivorce on Planet Earth: Real World Advice for Well-Intentioned HumansEpisode 25 - How to Protect Your Children in Divorce: Lessons from the Latest Research- with Dr. Lisa HerrickWhat steps can you take to make sure your divorce doesn't cause permanent damage to your child's development? Psychologist and divorce expert Dr. Lisa Herrick joins us to discuss what we can learn from the latest research on the impact of divorce on children of all ages, including how to identify "risk factors" and implement "protective strategies" -- so that your divorce can remain a sad memory rather than a bad developmental turning point.
2020-03-0554 minDivorce on Planet Earth: Real World Advice for Well-Intentioned HumansEpisode 24 - Is Collaborative Divorce Right for You? Finding the Right Divorce for You Part 2:Collabortive Divorce is an an out-of-court way to resolve your divorce disputes in a respectful, non-adversarial manner. Never heard of Collaborative Divorce? Heard of it, but want to know more? In this episode Kate and Jane are again joined by family law attorney Suzy Eckstein. Together they explain and demystify the important aspects of Collabortive Divorce-- what it is, how it works, and what makes it different from all other divorce process options. They address common questions and concerns, such as "What is the difference between Collaborative Divorce and mediation?", "How much does Collaborative Divorce cost?", "My spouse and I...
2020-02-0441 minDivorce on Planet Earth: Real World Advice for Well-Intentioned HumansEpisode 23 - Finding the Right Divorce for You Part 1 - What are Your Options and How Do You Choose?You've decided to get divorced (or your spouse has decided for you)... Where to begin? In this episode Kate and Jane are joined by experienced family law attorney Suzy Epstein. Together they take on the confusing questions "How can I find a good divorce lawyer who is right for me?", and "What are the the different ways to get divorced?" They then address other frequently asked questions, including "How much is this going to cost, and can I get my spouse to pay for it?, "How long is this going to take?", "How can I get my spouse to move...
2020-02-0434 minDivorce on Planet Earth: Real World Advice for Well-Intentioned HumansEpisode 22 - Surviving the Holidays After a Divorce PT 2 - 10 Tips for Separating and Divorced ParentsIf you're newly separated or divorced, the holidays can be tough. Especially if you have kids, you'll struggle with many questions, such as: "How can I surivive holiday time without my kids?", "How can I maintain or create new traditions on my own?", "How can I share kid time with my ex, and should we still celebrate some things "as a family?", "How will I cope with the loss of in-laws?", and "Will friends include me now that I'm on my own?" In this episode Kate and Jane share some of their own experiences navigating holidays (and other important "firsts"...
2019-12-1942 minDivorce on Planet Earth: Real World Advice for Well-Intentioned HumansEpisode 21 - Surviving the Holidays After a Divorce PT 1: Tips for People Who Don't Have Kids and People Who DoIf you're newly separated or divorced, the holidays can be particularly tough- fraught with feelings of loss, loneliness, alienation and destabilization. It can seem that while everyone you know is having a magical family experience, you're struggling alone to find your place as an unpartnered person. In this episode Kate and Jane offer advice for navigating the holidays-- and other significant post-split "firsts"- while maintaining your sanity and beginning to design a new path forward.
2019-12-1924 minDivorce on Planet Earth: Real World Advice for Well-Intentioned HumansEpisode 20 - 10 Tips for Telling Your Children About the Divorce - PT 2For most divorcing parents, breaking the news to their kids is one the most upsetting parts of the experience. What, when and how to tell them? How to ease their pain? What if you and your future ex can't agree on a message? Take a breath, relax. You need some guidance and a plan. This is Part 2 of Kate and Jane's "10 Tips for Doing a Good Job with the Scariest Conversation of Your Life".
2019-10-2329 minDivorce on Planet Earth: Real World Advice for Well-Intentioned HumansEpisode 19 - 10 Tips for Telling Your Children About the Divorce - PT 1For most divorcing parents, breaking the news to their kids is one the most upsetting parts of the experience. What, when and how to tell them? How to ease their pain? What if you and your future ex can't agree on a message? Take a breath, relax. You need some guidance and a plan. Kate and Jane offer "10 Tips for Doing a Good Job with the Scariest Conversation of Your Life".
2019-10-2123 minDivorce on Planet Earth: Real World Advice for Well-Intentioned HumansEpisode 18 - Discipline During Divorce Part 2: 15 Common Parenting MistakesDivorcing parents want to support their kids and minimize pain. But being a good parent sometimes means taking unpopular positions. And what if you don't have a cooperative co-parent who supports your philosophy? In this episode, Kate and Jane offer practical and empathic advice for handling even the most complex and emotionally fraught divorce discipline challenges.
2019-07-2935 minDivorce on Planet Earth: Real World Advice for Well-Intentioned HumansEpisode 17 - Disciplining Children During Divorce – Part 1: Punishment vs. Consequence"Now that we're splitting up, should I be softer on the kids or keep doing things the old way?" "Should my ex and I try to have the same rules?" "What if my ex undermines me with the kids?" Deciding how and when to discipline our kids during the emotional maelstrom of divorce is tough. But you can learn to navigate even the thorniest challenges if you start with a solid understanding of what constitutes effective discipline for kids of various ages- divorcing parents or no. In this episode, Kate and Jane discuss their ideas about how best to think...
2019-07-2957 minDivorce on Planet Earth: Real World Advice for Well-Intentioned HumansEpisode 16 - How to Choose a Better Partner Next Time"How did I get here?", "How did I not see this coming?", "Why did I marry that person in the first place?, "How can I avoid making the same mistakes again?" When you're baffled by your past, it's scary to imagine taking a step into the future. But here's the silver lining of divorce: It offers the possibility of real transformation. In this episode Kate and Jane offer their insights into how to take new control over your emotional choices, find real intimacy, and live your best life going forward.
2019-07-1519 minDivorce on Planet Earth: Real World Advice for Well-Intentioned HumansEpisode 15 - No One Gets How Hard Divorce is! Will I Ever Feel Better?Divorce can be overwhelming, alienating and lonely. Even when friends and family want to help, they often grow tired of listening, offer unhelpful advice, or are simply at a loss. You may ask yourself "If divorce is so common, how come I'm the only one I know going through it?","Why doesn't anyone understand how hard this is?" or "Will I always be on outside looking in?" In this episode Kate and Jane explore many of the tough but common thoughts and feelings they've heard from people going through separation and divorce (including each other!), and share ideas about how...
2019-03-1917 minDivorce on Planet Earth: Real World Advice for Well-Intentioned HumansEpisode 14 - Separated Under the Same RoofDivorced but still living under the same roof? There are many reasons separating couples share a home for some period of time during the separation/divorce transition. For some it's a financial or legal necessity, for others part of a long-range plan to share time with children. Some couples find this a torturous "limbo phase," while others think of it as a way to ease the pain for children. Whether it's a necessity or a choice, painful or peaceful, this episode will offer you both food for thought and practical tips for navigating life in the same house when you're...
2018-06-2451 minDivorce on Planet Earth: Real World Advice for Well-Intentioned HumansEpisode 13 - The Divorced Parents' Pledge: Part 6 of 6Over years of working with children of divorce, Kate has compiled a list of 30 promises every divorcing parent should make to their children. In this sixth and final installment of our special series "The Divorced Parents' Pledge, " Kate and Jane discuss clauses 26-30 of this important list. Take the pledge, you owe it to your kids- and yourself!
2018-06-2314 minDivorce on Planet Earth: Real World Advice for Well-Intentioned HumansEpisode 12 - The Divorced Parents' Pledge: Part 5 of 6Over years of working with children of divorce, Kate has compiled a list of 30 promises every divorcing parent should make to their children. In this fifth installment of our special series "The Divorced Parents' Pledge, " Kate and Jane discuss clauses 21-25 of this important list. Take the pledge, you owe it to your kids- and yourself!
2018-06-2217 minDivorce on Planet Earth: Real World Advice for Well-Intentioned HumansEpisode 11 - The Divorced Parents' Pledge: Part 4 of 6Over years of working with children of divorce, Kate has compiled a list of 30 promises every divorcing parent should make to their children. In this fourth installment of our special series "The Divorced Parents' Pledge, " Kate and Jane discuss clauses 16-20 of this important list. Take the pledge, you owe it to your kids- and yourself!
2018-06-1019 minDivorce on Planet Earth: Real World Advice for Well-Intentioned HumansEpisode 10 - The Divorced Parents' Pledge: Part 3 of 6Over years of working with children of divorce, Kate has compiled a list of 30 promises every divorcing parent should make to their children. In this third installment of our special series "The Divorced Parents' Pledge, " Kate and Jane discuss clauses 11-15 of this important list. Take the pledge, you owe it to your kids- and yourself!
2018-05-2013 minDivorce on Planet Earth: Real World Advice for Well-Intentioned HumansEpisode 9 - The Divorced Parents' Pledge: Part 2 of 6Over years of working with children of divorce, Kate has compiled a list of 30 promises every divorcing parent should make to their children. In this second installment of our special series "The Divorced Parents' Pledge, " Kate and Jane discuss clauses 6-10 of this important list. Take the pledge, you owe it to your kids- and yourself!
2018-05-2010 minDivorce on Planet Earth: Real World Advice for Well-Intentioned HumansEpisode 8- The Divorced Parents' Pledge: Part 1 of 6Over years of working with children of divorce, Kate has compiled a list of 30 promises every divorcing parent should make to their children. In this first installment of our special series "The Divorced Parents' Pledge, " Kate and Jane discuss clauses 1-5 of this important list. Take the pledge, you owe it to your kids- and yourself!
2018-05-2011 minDivorce on Planet Earth: Real World Advice for Well-Intentioned HumansEpisode 7 - Divorce Advice for the UnfaithfulIf your infidelity played a part in the end of your marriage, you’re in for more-than-ordinarily tough sledding. In this episode Kate and Jane discuss this most painful and complex of divorce topics. They offer insights and practical tips for navigating divorce after cheating in a way that is as compassionate, supportive and constructive as possible for all involved-- even when emotions run hot.
2018-05-2037 minDivorce on Planet Earth: Real World Advice for Well-Intentioned HumansEpisode 6 - Divorce, Infidelity, and Your KidsYour spouse has been unfaithful, you are understandably devastated. You want your kids to know the truth about their other parent and to learn right from wrong- and you certainly don't want to take responsibility for a divorce you don't want. Kate and Jane discuss this painful and complex topic, and share some ideas for you to consider when deciding how to share information about the affair with your kids.
2018-05-2039 minDivorce on Planet Earth: Real World Advice for Well-Intentioned HumansEpisode 5 - Should We Stay Together Until our Kids Go to College?In this episode of "Divorce on Planet Earth" Kate and Jane take on the oft-debated question of whether staying together until kids leave home is kinder and less disruptive than breaking up when they're younger and still living at home fulltime. Is there a one-size-fits-all answer? What factors should parents consider? What if parents don't agree?
2018-03-2714 minDivorce on Planet Earth: Real World Advice for Well-Intentioned HumansEpisode 4 - Spending Time As a Family After Divorce: Good Idea or Bad?You're getting divorced, and you want your kids to know that they still have two loving parents. You also want to minimize the disruption to your kids lives, and for them to see that you and your ex respect each other and can co-parent well. Does that mean you and your ex should continue to spend significant time together with your children "as a family?" Should you hold on to old traditions, like Sunday dinners and winter break vacations? In this episode Kate Scharff and co-host Jane Prelinger offer their thoughts on this important and complicated topic.
2018-03-2713 minDivorce on Planet Earth: Real World Advice for Well-Intentioned HumansEpisode 3 - My Ex is Trashing Me to My Kids: Help!Hearing distorted, negative comments about you coming out of the mouths of your kids after they've spent time with their other parent is horribly painful. You know you're not supposed to disparage their other parent or put your kids in the middle, but you don't want to be painted as the villain! In this episode of "Divorce on Planet Earth," Kate and her new co-host, psychotherapist extraordinaire Jane Prelinger, offer practical advice for taking on this tough problem in a compassionate, direct way that protects and reassures your kids, redresses misinformation, and strenghtens your parent/child relationship.
2018-03-2722 minDivorce on Planet Earth: Real World Advice for Well-Intentioned HumansEpisode 2 - You're Getting Divorced: Do You Really Need Therapy?Episode 2: Kate explores the reasons she usually recommends supportive therapy for her divorcing clients. She explains what kind of therapy to look for during divorce, and how to find the right therapist. She also addresses the concerns of therapy skeptics, including those who worry about high fees or about therapy being used against them in the divorce process.
2018-03-1713 minDivorce on Planet Earth: Real World Advice for Well-Intentioned HumansPilot Episode - Kate and Jane explain their unique approach to divorce adviceIn this introduction to "Divorce on Planet Earth: Real World Advice for Well-Intentioned Humans," psychotherapist and divorce expert Kate Scharff (along with co-host, psychotherapist Jane Prelinger), explains her approach to divorce advice-- and what sets it apart from the pack. Kate and Jane have a cumulative 50 years of experience working with couples and families, and have helped thousands of people navigate the tough divorce terrain. But they have each experienced divorce, both as a children and as parents, so they know that in the emotional cyclone of divorce it's a lot easier to seek advice than to put it into...
2018-03-1619 min
Mentoring for the Modern Musician#17 The Exception That Proves The RuleIn this episode of Mentoring for the Modern Musician The Scharff Brothers talk about the exception that proves the rule! Helping us all to set solid goals using the most appropriate comparables so we increase our chance for success. Not spending time saying “Kate Bush never toured and she has a great career?!?”
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2017-11-2039 min
Divorce on Planet Earth: Real World Advice for Well-Intentioned HumansSpecial Episode - Kate's 8 Tips for Dealing with a Harassing ExAre you feeling constantly barraged with frequent, overly-long, intrusive, or inappropriate emails, texts or phone calls from your ex? Desperate for a little space? In this video I’ll share my “8 Tips for Dealing with a Harassing Ex.”
2017-03-2808 min