Kelly Sorg - Podcast Details

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The Bully Food ChallengeJust KiddingNever accuse a bully of being a bully! Why? Because it gives them more power, and all they have to do is deny it. Whenever we accuse the bully, they’ll always deny it, and they usually do so by saying, “I’m only kidding…" OR "It was just a joke..”By saying it was just a joke, they get themself off the hook and diminish their target once again by pretending the target has no reason to be upset.This is what we’re getting into today. How do we deal with th...2024-10-0116 min

The Bully Food ChallengeNever Accuse Them of Being a Bully Narrate the Scene InsteadI’ve told the story about where the concept of BF came from…You never want to accuse your bully of bullying directly—you might as well tell them they’ve won.Calling them a bully is giving them a title of power—it says you hold power over me, you're scary.Instead calmly describe what they do and what you do in a matter-of-fact way.Keep these three steps in mind:Be caref...2024-09-2419 min

The Bully Food ChallengeStop it! You’re a Target NOT a VictimEveryone is a target of bullying at some point. When the bully succeeds, the target is victimized. The more that happens, the easier it is to take on a victim identity.Seeing yourself as a victim is bully food. Break out of victim behaviors and the bully behaviors that follow.This episode is about social mistakes that could leave you open to bullyingToo IMPRESSIVE comes off as I’m better than you, and too INDEPENDENT comes off as I don’t need you.Ir...2024-09-1728 min

The Bully Food ChallengeAnti-Bully Moves: Mindset and TacticsAnti-bully mindset: I don’t want attention. I won’t try to get your attention, I won’t try to keep your attention, I feel good without your attention, I feel good with your attention as long as it’s enjoyable and doesn’t get boring.Frame everything the bully does as an opportunity to give yourself what you deserve: confidence, self-respect, humor, self-reliance, recognition for doing what's right. Whatever the bully does is an opportunity to show everyone you don’t seek attention, especially if it’s theirs.Here we go into detail about exactly how an...2024-09-1053 min

The Bully Food ChallengeClassic Bully Moves: The TacticsBullies disregard us, make false accusations, give the silent treatment, set double standards, break rules or make them up as they go along, intimidate and isolate us, optimize their mood swings, verbally abuse us in person and online, gossip, pass rumors, ignore us, invade our privacy, intrude and impose, use physical aggression and inappropriately cross the line, punish, steal our thunder and our property, threaten, withhold information, use emotional control like gaslighting, and other tricks and pranks, all to gang up and be mean. Sometimes they cross over into harassment and violence, which is when we must turn them...2024-09-0338 min

The Bully Food ChallengeClassic Bully Moves: The MindsetSomeone’s mindset determines how they think and behave most of the time. It’s where they’re coming from. It’s how they treat just about everyone. The bully’s mindset is our topic today, and next week we’ll move to the tactics they use.Having these traits doesn’t necessarily mean a person is a bully, but all bullies think in the following ways because hurting others is their mindset.They try to cut us off from friends, fun, security and ultimately our own sense of self.FRIEN...2024-08-2726 min

The Bully Food ChallengeYou're Right and They're Wrong!Today’s episode is a reminder to remember that the bully is the wrong one.Steven Pressfield said, “A bully has no power of their own. Their power derives entirely from our fear of it.”If a bully’s power is built from our fears, then we can pull the plug on their power over us at any time. They are only powerful if we empower them.To halt their power to remove the bf we have to see them as wrong not scary.Of cou...2024-08-2025 min

The Bully Food ChallengeInside Jokes With Yourself Make yourself laugh, and you set the frame. This is the most fun way to build self-acceptance.Inside jokes are designed to bring some people in and leave others out. They are wonderful between friends, but they are also a classic bully move, and I love using bully tactics for good.By having inside jokes with yourself, you bring yourself in and leave the world out. This isn’t full exclusion only partial denial…basically we let the world wonder what makes us tick, which sparks their curiosity.We never let them in on t...2024-08-1332 min

The Bully Food ChallengeALL Bullies are Hungry: What is bully food, and why do bullies want it? The first thing to know about all bullies is they are ALL hungry.What I mean by hunger in a social sense is desperately wanting to get approval, recognition, status and connection with others.Bullies are hungry in two main ways:One, they will do anything to get better at bullying because they think it’s the only way they can get ahead socially.Two, they are desperate tryhards, which is how you should view them and treat them.Bullies are hu...2024-08-0631 min

The Bully Food ChallengePractice Being BoredIt might be a lot to ask during your summer break, or maybe you’ve been bored all summer, so it’s the perfect time. Hear me out when I say you must get better at being bored and even a little uncomfortable, dissatisfied or disappointed. I’ll tell you exactly why and how you should exercise your boredom muscle to make it as strong as possible.When you know how to manage your own boredom, you have a superpower for life. No joke. It’s called frame control.Think this through...2024-07-3026 min

The Bully Food ChallengeFrame/ReframeWhat is a frame? The way you view an interaction and your part in it. What you assume to be true about yourself and the others. What you believe. What you can and cannot do. This creates an underlying context for the interaction and how it should go. As long as you hold your frame, it will be stronger than everyone else’s, and things will go your way.Believe it or not, but you already play in a frame with your bully. Even in the worst bullying interactions, you had a frame, and unfortunately one of tw...2024-07-2334 min

The Bully Food ChallengeTurn Their Insults Around ON ThemInsults are attacks plain and simple. You must defend yourself against attacks, but being defensive is bully food. So what’s the difference between being defensive and standing up for yourself. That’s what we’re about to get into afterIf you attack the content of the insult, that’s defensive. If you attack the person’s frame who just insulted you, that’s standing up to them.By attacking the content of an insult but not the person who said it, you silently accept that person’s behavior toward you and their frame of mind--where...2024-07-1627 min

The Bully Food ChallengeGo The Extra MileDr. Wayne Dyer said, “Go the extra mile. It’s never crowded there.” This quote has many meanings we’ll explore today, but it’s main message is you’ll accomplish your goals with little competition if you’re willing to go farther than most others.This episode is a follow-up to last week when we looked at how to reframe discouragement to maintain our determination.This week’s lesson is what to do with that determination.We know to reframe discouragement to keep our determination up.But how do we aim that determi...2024-07-0916 min

The Bully Food ChallengeWhat It Feels Like Right Before You WinIn this episode we’ll go through what it really feels like before you’re about to win.I mean to show you you’re on the right track even when it feels like you’re not.After another year of school and putting up with a bully, this is a good time for a pep talk.A reframe. Changing the way you look at discouragement to motivate yourself. You must cultivate your ability to reframe especially when it seems like you’re never going to get there. This ability is the key to...2024-07-0229 min

The Bully Food ChallengeUse Humor and Comedy to Flip the Script I heard someone recently say humor is our emotional immune system.Humor and laughter work in a similar way to reframe our pain and traumas.Have you ever wondered why some kids laugh when they get in trouble with a teacher and only make it worse with their silly responses? Or when someone breaks into uncontrollable laughter after learning something that’s anything but a laughing matter?It’s because humor is healing. People naturally find a better way to feel when they’re overwhelmed by hard emotions.Today lesson is how to...2024-06-2531 min

The Bully Food ChallengeA Hobby is as Good as a FriendA hobby can be as good as a best friend, especially when you’re dealing with a bully.I have three reasons for this:1- Getting good at something builds confidence, focus and gives you something to be proud of about yourself. When you see yourself as accomplished, as somebody who follows out their own intentions and dreams, it raises your self-esteem. Watching yourself improve over time also builds confidence. You’ll see that you CAN do difficult things and go past your old barriers to success. If you can do one...2024-06-1823 min

The Bully Food ChallengeA Hobby is as Good as a FriendA hobby can be as good as a best friend, especially when you’re dealing with a bully.I have three reasons for this: 1- Getting good at something builds confidence, focus and gives you something to be proud of about yourself. When you see yourself as accomplished, as somebody who follows out their own intentions and dreams, it raises your self-esteem. Watching yourself improve over time also builds confidence. You’ll see that you CAN do difficult things and go past your old barriers to success. If you can do one...2024-06-1823 min

The Bully Food ChallengeOpposite Day!When you feel like you can do nothing right, do the opposite!Welcome!Many of us are either about to be on vacation from school, or we already are.A well deserved break from the pressures of school, including your bully if that’s where you see them.Regardless of whether getting out of your regular routine means you won’t see the bully or not, it’s still a time to for you regroup.Young people grow quite a bit...2024-06-1117 min

The Bully Food ChallengeIf You Knew You Couldn’t Fail, What Would You Do?Here’s the idea behind this lesson: When it comes to dealing with the bully, see what you can get away with.Whatever it is you’d do if you knew you’d win no matter what..do that!Test and find out what you can get away with around people. You tell them you’re somewhat okay with losing them, or losing out in the situation.When you’re willing to risk, you’re willing to lose, but remember people don’t take risks unless they think they’re more likely to win.So wh...2024-06-0421 min

The Bully Food ChallengeThe Path of Least Resistance is ALL the Bully DeservesPath of least resistance means focusing on what you want as much as possible.You will certainly feel things that will make you doubt what you want and what you’re going for.But really there is no doubt. There is only trust.Either you trust in what you want (your way), or you trust in what you fear (the bully’s way).Yes you have had a series of bad experiences and failures with this bully.So of cour...2024-05-2812 min

The Bully Food ChallengeHow to Get the Most Out of Your Teacher’s HelpTeachers want to help, and also we have a lot on our plate.The best way to get a teacher’s help is to make your problem their problem too.Fortunately the strategy I’m about to teach you goes hand in hand with leveling the playing field with your bully or bullies.What you want is to be on equal footing with all the other kids involved and for the teacher to initiate any problem solving that occurs.The reason you want to be on equal footing with the bully or b...2024-05-2129 min

The Bully Food ChallengeStop CheckingAcceptance means sticking with your story even in moments when it seems like the bully will never back off.The way to accept that things will eventually fall into place and you’ll get through this bullying better for it, is to stop checking.Checking is…reassurance seeking.We do it to assess the outcome of our goals before they’ve happened. It’s too soon to know, but we NEED to know now, so we check too early and too often.This kind of data collection AKA checking will giv...2024-05-1423 min

The Bully Food ChallengeAct Like #1It’s your attitude about yourself that people take on and believe. Hold your own and act like you’re #1, and everyone will believe it as long as you do.I bring this up is for those of you who have a tendency to put others’ opinion, taste, attitude, or general approach to life above your own.Once you’ve taken yourself out of first place in your own mind, their approval or validation of you starts to matter more than it should. You can get carried away to the point you forget how to s...2024-05-0716 min

The Bully Food ChallengeTug O' War: Drop Your End of the RopeTug of war is a well known game. Most of us know it, but I’ll explain it. You pull on one end against others who pull the other way.For a while the rope has quite a lot of tension until one side gets enough momentum to pull the other side over. The competition is fun with good natured friends or competitors.So why is the same game of tense resistance between you and your bully such a nightmare?Because competition between friends and good natured competitors is meant to bu...2024-04-3033 min

The Bully Food ChallengeNever Explain!When it comes to explaining yourself, less is always more, especially when it comes to a bully or any of their lackeys.Here’s why: First of all, explaining is weak. It gives power over to another. Explaining isn’t all it’s cracked up to be: It’s showing you have integrity at the very last minute instead of when you could have done the right thing. Either you knew what was right and failed to do it, or you didn’t know what was right because your judgment is only good after the fact. ...2024-04-2326 min

The Bully Food ChallengeActions Speak Louder Than Words To make this point simple remember this: Words can mislead, but the body never lies.This applies to everything from a person’s body language to what they choose to do or not do.What a person does says more about them and speaks more about their feelings and intentions than anything they say.A person can say they want to help, but if they don’t do anything helpful or attempt to help, then they don’t want to help. If they say they’re sorry, but then they continue doing the same thi...2024-04-1622 min

The Bully Food ChallengeWhen to do Nothing and the Power of DetachmentWhen is it best to do nothing? In response to a bully, almost always is the answer, but let’s get more specific in today’s episode.Any time you feel compelled to fix, change, or make it better with the bully, stop right there because you are handing out the bully snacks in that moment.Notice whenever you feel like you MUST do something about the bully. Get good at noticing this impulse, so you can get good at resisting it.What is it about these kind...2024-04-0928 min

The Bully Food ChallengeKill 'Em With KindnessIt’s amusing to be strategic and do things nobody expects. Helping your enemy strengthens your personal standards by putting them to the test. If you can be kind to a bully, you can be kind to anyone.Helping your enemy also diminishes your self-importance and humbles you. For a minute your ego will kick and scream as you help the bully, but then it will relax, and the better part of you will win! You will call the shots over the small self that would have do damage in the form of reaction and re...2024-04-0217 min

The Bully Food ChallengeSo What?!Saying "so what" is a wonderful way to respond to an unpleasant person, who you have no energy for, and the bully surely fits that description.“So what?!” Is a slightly annoying and possibly antagonistic thing to say, so definitely don’t say it to someone you want to get along with, unless you’re joking. It’s fairly mild toward a bully, but it could push a someone who is a potential safety threat right over the line, so you need to keep threat assessment in mind before making even harmless moves like this.2024-03-2612 min

The Bully Food ChallengeGo First!When it comes to putting yourself first, we’ve got two parts to consider.Coming first and going first.Coming first (in your own mind) means choosing yourself.It comes from a place inside us. We commit to meet our own needs as much as possible.It is to prioritize yourself-your own goals, preferences, feelings, opportunities, options, and interests.Coming first ensures you know your own path.It requires self reflection and inner knowing to do that.You must believe you know what’s best for...2024-03-1925 min

The Bully Food ChallengeSpeak Their LanguageSpeak their language.There’s a difference between bullying them back (fight) and showing them you speak their language (acceptance—you’ll mirror them, match them, be like them). The first is retaliation, which is weak and potentially dangerous. Speaking their language isn’t about becoming a bully, it’s showing the bully you know how to play their game and that you’ve got their number.The first is resorting to their methods, which is just another way of going down their path (reacting). The second, speaking their language, is making yourself relatable to...2024-03-1224 min

The Bully Food ChallengeFloat, Let Go and Rise AboveHave you ever heard the advice to just drop it or let it go?I’ve talked about Dr Claire Weekes before. She was an important pioneering doctor in the field of anxiety recovery.She said anyone could recover from disordered anxiety, excessive nervousness or panic attacks with four simple (but not always easy steps): Face, accept, float and let time pass.It’s clear to me that these are the for anti-stress responses to flight fight freeze and fawn.She described it in many ways such as mastering inactivity (doing noth...2024-03-0527 min

The Bully Food ChallengeSet Your Own High Standards Not always meeting others’ standards doesn’t mean having low standards or no standards at all. No! What you must do is create and live by your own standards.We’ll look at what stops people from setting high standards, why standards raise your status and how to set them.People value what they invest in, and to value yourself you must invest in high standards you set.Setting high personal standards can be a challenge because it implies: personal commitment, belief, action, and facing the risk of failure.Satisfaction in the pr...2024-02-2723 min

The Bully Food ChallengeTrade TRYHARD for Good EnoughBully food behaviors don’t always lead to bullying, but they always limit friendship. Bully food is any behavior, thought, feeling, or belief that feeds into the cycle of bullying on your end.The list is long, and it includes: worrying, fearing, trying to impress or please, be perfect, obey the bully, avoid them, it’s thinking things like I’m not good enough or I’m so pathetic I deserve this, and feeling anxiety, sadness, bewilderment, hopelessness, self-consciousness, or anger all because of the belief that somehow it’s you who must live up to others’ standards ne...2024-02-2029 min

The Bully Food ChallengeThe Voice Inside Your HeadThe voice is the running inner monologue and/or stream of images you hear and see inside your mind. You might believe that voice is you, many people do. It’s actually just part of your mental processing. Your brain thinks to make sense of things, figure them out and solve problems. When thoughts become so automatic they appear to run beyond your conscious control, they turn into a thought stream that can seem alive.What makes if clear that the voice is not you, and that’s it’s not alive, is that it’s not constant...2024-02-1333 min

The Bully Food ChallengeWhat if it was Easy?My favorite question to ask myself before I face something stressful is What would this be like if it was easy?Questions like the one above are designed to make you stop listening to the voice in your head, and focus on your inner knowing or gut feeling instead?Many experts in the world of helping others or self-help, encourage people to ask themselves questions that move focus away from the voice and into their inner knowing.The idea is to get to the bare minimum that needs to be done in order t...2024-02-0624 min

The Bully Food ChallengeTake it Easy and Slow Down Zoom in on one behavior to reverse in the name of relaxing your stress responseThe key here is to take it easier than you have been.Often times when we feel anxious or overwhelmed, we start to rush.We rush as we walk from place to place, we race through assignments and tasks, we get impatient in conversations with others, rapidly tapping our toesThis is part of the threat response of flight: we race to get away from danger back to our safe comfort zone.2024-01-3021 min

The Bully Food ChallengeTwo Paths: Be Responsive NOT ReactiveThis episode is about two paths: yours and theirs. When you react, you’re going down their path. When you respond, you are walking them down yours.Stop reacting to them! It’s obvious you don’t want to go down their path anymore, but you do it out of the habit of reacting to them, and that’s only one of many problems your reactions cause:WeakLow valueBully foodYour reality isn’t clearYou have no standardsYou will betray yourselfThe b...2024-01-2330 min

The Bully Food ChallengeFFFF and Bullying REVERSED Part TwoOvercompensation: Anyone’s impulse to a large painful problem is to solve it as quickly as possible. When we are convinced by our stress and anxiety we solve problems through our fear response. It makes sense we want to go to extremes and even overcompensate to resolve our problems, but it’s a mistake to do so using the threat response if the problem isn’t an actual grizzly bear.I’m not ask for you to stop trying to beat your bully. NO NEVER! The whole podcast is about beating your bully. I’m asking you...2024-01-1629 min

The Bully Food ChallengeFFFF and Bullying Part OneBullies are masters of activating stress and anxiety in their victims. They do this by getting you to engage your own stress and fear responses FFFF.Today we’ll dig deep into that…how they get you to work yourself into a frenzy of stress and fear.FIGHT:Most people think of the fight fear response as actual physical fighting, but the vast majority of the time fighting comes out as resistance, refusal, or arguing. Of course it can also be straight up physical outbursts and fights.Reaction is a form of f...2024-01-0928 min

The Bully Food ChallengeWhat To Do, and (More Importantly) What NOT To DoFirst let’s look at typical advice people give about dealing with bullies.It’s great to know how to reframe advice to make it work for you.Here’s how you’ll be advised to do by a simple internet search:Tell a trusted adult. ...Ignore the bully and walk away. ...Walk tall and hold your head high. ...Don't get physical. ...Try to talk to the bully. ...Practice confidence. ...Talk about it. ...Find your (true) friends.All good advice, but only if you reframe it to your best advantage. Here’s how:Tell a t...2024-01-0226 min

A Gay and His EnbyEpisode 73: Scrumptious Word HugThis episode, Eamon & Merlin talk the recent string of movies that they have watched, including Barbie, Family Switch, and Violent Night. Then, they dive into the season finale of House of Villains, where the title of greatest Supervillain is crowned, but not without some stomach churning roadblocks. Then, they talk Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip: RHONY Legacy, where Kelly proves herself to be a riddle, wrapped in an action verb. And finally, they talk a new episode of Real Housewives of Miami where a returning Ana Quincoces is not warmly welcomed to say the least. We are...2023-12-293h 39

The Bully Food ChallengeWhatever You NEED, Give to YourselfBody Scan Meditation: Many of us are on vacation and celebrating holidays, so this is a perfect time for rest and relaxation.We’re doing this meditation today, so you can learn to relax into a stronger connection with yourself.Over the past few episodes I’ve stressed the importance of self-acceptance to to point of letting go of what others say and do, and being able to laugh them off by laughing at yourself because you know deep down you’re cool with who you areThis is a main goal of the bu...2023-12-2629 min

A Gay and His EnbyEpisode 71: Eagles Don't Fly with PigeonsThis episode, Eamon & Merlin talk the newest episode of House Of Villains where a fast tracked week ends in an anti climatic elimination. Then, they talk the first three episodes of Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip: RHONY Legacy, where Dorinda is in pause purgatory and Kelly Bensimon just wants everyone to be authentic, whatever that means. Also, they talk their final thoughts on Survivor 45, a season that saw a never ending cycle of Jake attempting to do something right. And finally, they talk a new episode of Married To Medicine and discuss all the chatter from Quad’s possible fa...2023-12-222h 46

The Bully Food ChallengePopular vs Cool and What They Have to do with BullyingPopularity is how well you relate to others. Coolness is how well you relate to yourself.You can be one or the other, you can be both, or you can be neither.Coolness and popularity are not guarantees against bullying, but they add layers of protection that drive bullies away, which are available to you. Namely positive self image and an open attitude toward others.Additionally popularity and coolness can be so elusive we put them on a pedestal—to the point that they seem out of reach, impossible to achieve. We only de...2023-12-1922 min

The Bully Food ChallengeNever Nice, Always KindNever Nice, Always Kind is a bully food principle. If you’re a people pleaser, or you’re a little too nice, listen up!Kindness and niceness can both be friendly, but they differ in depth. Kindness is friendly consideration, niceness is friendly pleasantness. Niceness can keep someone stuck in an illusion, and kindness sets them free. The other signal niceness sends is you think others can’t make up their own mind. That your way is the only option they have. People sense this and are repelled. They might even want to do just what you’d want l...2023-12-1230 min

The Bully Food ChallengeIf You Can’t Laugh With Them, Laugh At Them.Mocking is the best alternative to assuming they’re kidding because it’s a playful way of being judgmental and showing disapproval.If you can’t assume they’re kidding because they aren’t being funny at all, you have to use judgement instead. I told you that in the last episode.When you can’t laugh, you have to judge, and the form of judgement that requires the least amount of effort is mocking.Judgement is a powerful response to negative behaviors.What do you learn in school about judging someone else...2023-12-0520 min

The Bully Food ChallengeAssume They're Kidding Part TwoPeople don't realize how much their comments affect you because they really aren’t too concerned over you. They are far too busy thinking about themselves. People are worried about what others think of them. They have no clear idea about how you feel because they aren’t you. So when they say or do something that stings, they have little to no idea how much it actually gets to you…unless you show them with words or actions.Even more importantly people use teases and taunts to get a laugh. They think what they say is funny...2023-11-2829 min

The Bully Food ChallengeAssume They're Kidding Part OneAssume They’re Kidding: Teasing vs tauntingTeasing and taunting are two very different things, and in this episode I’ll teach you how to tell the difference between them and how to handle both…luckily for you it’s the same strategy.This is a multi layered lesson. To tell the difference between teasing and taunting and turn taunting around, first I’d like you to understand the importance of emotional self control.With what I’m about to tell you and some practice you will Get better and better at not reacting. Re...2023-11-2026 min

The Bully Food ChallengeThe Right Kind of PredictableTwo Kinds of Predictable: predictably weak or predictably strong. Either one will eventually send the bully packing, because bullies cannot stand being bored for long, but strength is by far the better path. It’s not only faster but you also get to keep your dignity.So, if your choice is between predictably strong or weak, the obvious choice is strong, right? Why do so many people choose weakness? Because showing strength has an initial catch.When you decide to take a stand, you have to fully commit. If you take a stand and then ba...2023-11-1429 min

The Bully Food ChallengeReverse the FFFF Threat ResponseWe’ve touched on the Fight Flight Freeze Fawn or Flock response before-Today we’re going to really dig in to understand it better.It’s the body’s response to a perceived threat. FFFF is our threat response.Both the sympathetic (or stress and the parasympathetic (or calm down) responses are involved.Sometimes your body and mind will go into high gear in the face of a threat. You’ll feel adrenaline, a hormone that prepares you to fight or flee (run away) with extra power and strength. Your heart will beat faster, your muscles will constrict, your mind will go bl...2023-11-0725 min

The Bully Food ChallengeStop Trying to Make People Like YouStop Trying So Hard, You’re already there. Trying to be something isn’t being it. This goes along with one of our principles, less is more, and takes it a step further into making a low effort.The more you value yourself, the less of an effort you’ll feel you have to make. The lower you value yourself the stronger an effort you’ll feel you must make in order to pass as worthy or enough for others.When you try too hard, you say: I think I’m unworthy and not enough, so I’ll only let you see my b...2023-10-3125 min

The Bully Food ChallengeLose to WIN: Be Undefensive Our third principle is to be undefensive. Stand your ground! This means staying true to yourself come what may, and only changing on your terms based on your experience and insight.But how do you remain undefensive when your brain is screaming at you to protect and defend yourself? Well, you have to teach your brain through experience that doing nothing is often the best self-defense.I used to volunteer in self-defense classes for women, and it was there I learned the physical equivalent of what I’m about to talk about in this episode.Two games illustrate it we...2023-10-2422 min

The Bully Food ChallengeThese Are My Pants: How to Own Your Mistakes, Differences and Flaws.I have a story to illustrate the essence of what it means to own your “mistakes”.Years ago a student of mine said something I’ll never forget. The kids were all washing up in the bathroom, and some of them started making fun of the pants he had on. This kid was no fashionista. He wore little kid sweats long after the others had switched to more grown up clothes.Anyway this kid stood there and took the berating, but after they had finished the torment, he simply said, “These are my pants.” It was brilliant!He later told sever...2023-10-1723 min

The Bully Food ChallengeLower the Bar For YourselfLowering your own bar means getting yourself used to resisting the pressure to always be right and good when it comes to following rules and your own performance. Studies show those who are bullied are more likely to be anxious. Anxious people tend to focus on following rules because they care about getting things right. This tendency can also show up as perfectionism. Bullies, on the other hand, are the opposite: They are much more comfortable with breaking rules and wrongdoing. This allows them to exploit a form of bully food we haven't talked much about, and that's predictability...2023-10-1014 min

The Bully Food ChallengeBullying vs Meanness vs Carelessness vs TestingDevelop your ability to recognize the difference between bullying and other kinds of unpleasant behavior others throw your way. Kids are amateur adults, who are new to the task of more adult social interactions, so they make hurtful mistakes. It's crucial to tell the difference between mistakes and intentional harm. Nobody who makes and innocent mistake wants to be accused of bullying, and any bully would be emboldened by it. Call the bully a bully, and you might as well tell them their plan is working.In this episode we go through defining differences between bullies and...2023-10-0325 min

The Bully Food ChallengeTake Responsibility, NOT BlameTaking responsibility for the solution is NOT taking blame for the problem, and it is crucial to your success. The bully is to blame for their negative behavior, but dealing with the problems they cause in your life is YOUR responsibility. Dealing with the messes they cause can be a time to reflect on what's happened. You can separate yourself from the situation to recognize its ridiculousness and the humor or even anger you feel. This will open you to seeing what your next move should be. Find what you may have done to provoke the bully. It's a...2023-09-2619 min

The Bully Food ChallengeLess Is MorePrinciples give you purpose in every situation, and today's principle is: Less is more. Bullies always want more. More attention, more power, more conflict, more drama from you will build the social capital and status they want. When you put energy, time and focus into them, they get more bully food. Giving them less not only diminishes what they get, it also lessens their importance in your mind. The kids who aren't getting bullied by the bully, put very little energy into them. Those are the kids to copy. Less is more means LESS for them is MORE for...2023-09-1918 min

The Bully Food ChallengeJust Ignore Them = Play It OffHas anyone told you to "just ignore" the bully? Of course they have! It's good advice, but people rarely explain how to do it correctly. Bullies take negative action against others, and when they come after you, you need to play it off. When people tell you to "ignore", they mean to play it off. Your goal is to make light of or to make less of the bully. We will go through five non-verbal signals or cues you can use to subtly show others the bully doesn't matter to you and you're ignoring them. The five cues are...2023-09-1217 min

The Bully Food ChallengeMake It BoringThe first Bully Food principle is to make it boring. Principles help you in moments when the tips and tricks don't easily fit. Any of our principles will guide you to deal with the bully in general because it's how you roll versus what you do in any one case. What's so special about boredom? Bullies want to have a big effect on people. They would never want to be unmemorable or boring. Boring people have little influence over people, so you take a bully's power by making them, and what they do, as boring as possible. You not...2023-09-0512 min

The Bully Food ChallengeNonverbals for Nonthreats Nonverbal communication is the preferred method for communicating with bullies because it's low-risk, low-effort and more effective than words could ever be. In this episode we'll go over four categories of nonverbal communication: gestures, expressions, sounds and scripts. I'll give you one strategy from each category to begin with. Our theme emotion this time will be boredom, and we'll learn others in future episodes.Disclaimer: Keep in mind I am a teacher, not a therapist nor healthcare provider. It's my pleasure to provide lessons here to teach young people about the pattern of bullying and successful ways...2023-08-2918 min $Wilmore Anglican Church\'s Podcast$ Wilmore Anglican Church's PodcastKelly Sorg || August 27th, 2023The Scripture readings for this week are listed below:Isaiah51:1-6Psalm 138Romans 11:25-36 Matthew 16:13-20 2023-08-2831 min

The Bully Food ChallengeStop Anticipating the Worst: Determine A Bully's Threat Level Anticipate the Bully as a bigger threat than they actually are, and your imagination will start to work against you. In this episode we sort out the difference between bullying and the sort of physical violence that exceeds it. To get your imagination to slow down its reel of worst case scenarios, I advise listeners to use a specific strategy to determine the bully's threat level: Use the old saying, actions speak louder than words, as your guide. Look at a given bully's past actions to determine what they're likely to do in the future. If they are unknown...2023-08-2218 min

The Bully Food ChallengeThe Flip Side of FearThe more frightened or worried you are, the more courage you have. Courage comes to us in our weakest moments as the flip side of fear. Your courage can have just as powerful effect on a bully as your weakest feelings have on you. The key is to make it come out. How can you flip fear over? Three steps: Visualize having courage, break difficult tasks into small simple steps, and practice those steps until confidence rises above anxiety. Courage comes as soon as you start to do what's scary.Disclaimer: Keep in mind I am a...2023-08-1514 min

The Bully Food ChallengeDon't Count on Bully Free ZonesBully free zones have become a popular solution to the problem of bullying. Such zones may be ideal, but they are also artificial. In a bully free zone the bullied must depend on others to behave well. This restricts potential to learn how to handle unpleasant human behaviors, such as meanness and carelessness. Even worse, if someone does happen to be bullied in a so called bully free zone, they'll be all the more bewildered because what's happening to them "shouldn't" be happening at all. Instead, I suggest taking the defiant stance of accepting bullying as problem to overcome...2023-08-0810 min

The Bully Food ChallengeWhy Everyone Deals with Bullies, but Only Some People Get BulliedHi, I'm Kelly, and I'm a twenty year middle school teacher who holds the topic of bullying near and dear to my heart. This episode covers why everyone deals with bullies but only some people get bullied. The difference tends to be how calm one is when the bully does their worst. The more you can teach yourself and your subconscious mind to see the bully as less of a threat, the more calm you'll be. Reactions to stress is what the bully is after--what makes them feel in control. This episode shows how lowering your guard is your...2023-08-0111 min

The Bully Food ChallengeThe Bully Food Challenge TrailerBully food is the diet all bullies need to thrive! And I’m guessing it’s you they’re after! Anything you say or do or even think that feeds their negative behavior is fair game, and right now you’re the prey! A bully will chew you up and spit you out if you let them, and only you can cut them off! Let me teach you how.Disclaimer: Keep in mind I am a teacher, not a therapist nor healthcare provider. It's my pleasure to provide lessons here to teach young people about the pattern of bully...2023-08-0101 min

What Do You Mean By That?We Can Do Hard Things, with The Opt-In (Part II)As we’re still in our summer of action, we had a conversation lately behind the scenes to ask ourselves: are these episodes actionable enough? And we really believe that to make all of this work sustainable, sometimes it has to be in the little things. It has to be in which link you send to your friend about a book you’re recommending - Amazon or Bookshop? - and it has to be in looking deep within yourself and looking around to build a more diverse community. But sometimes it’s also about doing work - social activism, DEI wo...2021-07-2127 min

What Do You Mean By That?Cross-Racial Friendships with The Opt-In (Part I)We’re continuing our summer of action and diving deeper. And as we’re releasing this episode, we’re also in the midst of a summer that’s been filled with more friends and family and conversation and ability to BE TOGETHER in a way that we haven’t been able to be since March of 2020. #vaccines It makes us think of friendship, community, and how much we learn from each other - not only through our similarities, which is how we often create friendships, but also our differences, which can be particularly true when we think about cros...2021-07-1434 min

The Opt-InSeason 3 Wrap-up LIVE with Aurora + Kelly Aurora + Kelly went LIVE to wrap-up Season 3 of the Opt-In Podcast. Missed it? You can catch up with the wrap-up here!⠀This season we touched on so many different aspects of community over the last few months + we want to highlight a few pieces of wisdom that struck a chord in us.⠀⠀Follow the Opt-In on Instagram, Facebook, + Twitter @theoptin.Produced by Rachel IshikawaMusic by Jordan McCreeHosted by Aurora Archer + Kelly Croce SorgIf you enjoyed this conversation and would like to support Aurora + Kelly curati...2020-12-0100 min

The Opt-InRebelle-ing + Rulebreaking with Shannon Sirano GreenwoodImagine you're a woman in your 30s, an entrepreneur, and you found a planet to live on where you felt great in your mind and body, you had friends that lifted you and your business up and you were surrounded by a diverse group of women that you learned oodles from. Well, welcome to the Rebelle Con community. Shannon Siriano Greenwood is the Founder and CEO of the Rebelle brand, offering a boutique conference experience (Rebelle Con), an in-person membership community (Rebelle Community), and podcast (Rule Breaker by Rebelle) that reaches millennial and Gen X professional women. She's here...2020-11-2400 min

The Opt-InBirth Equity in CommunityEveryone has a birth story. A warrior for sexual and reproductive health, Carmen Green, Vice President of Research & Strategy at National Birth Equity Collaborative (NBEC), is creating solutions to optimize Black maternal and infant health stories through training, research, policy advocacy and community-centered collaboration. Aurora + Kelly dig deep into her experience in operationalizing anti-racist frameworks and Black feminist theory in healthcare, policy, and culture. She's is a writer, reproductive justice activist and doula in training, whose continued commitment is to Black families experiencing wellness and joy and we are here for it.Learn...2020-11-1700 min

The Opt-InGiving Up Whiteness, Gaining HumanityJeff James was one of the good white guys—or so he thought. But when he asked an African American friend how he could help fight the rising tide of racism, he had to think again. "Simple," she shot back, "get rid of whiteness." Thus began his journey to discover, name, and dismantle the racial category that had defined and advantaged him for a lifetime. Aurora + Kelly sit with Jeff as he shares his discoveries on just how deeply the forces of race have shaped his own choices and how the things we can't see yield the most po...2020-11-1000 min

The Opt-InElection Day Equanimity with Rev. RhettaIn such turbulent + expansive times, we call on every drop of equanimity we can muster. Reverend Rhetta Morgan has been gathering tools for healing + inspiration over a lifetime and joins Aurora + Kelly in cultivating hope + connection as a pathway back to wholeness. Regardless of election results, there is transformation to be birthed. This work of bringing our whole selves to joyful expression contributes to internal, communal + global healing, helping us envision liberation and feel into the futures we are wanting to build. Opt-In on Instagram, Facebook, + Twitter @theoptin.Produced by Rachel Ishikawa...2020-11-0300 min

The Opt-InHumanity Has No Borders with Sr. Norma PimentelNamed one of TIME Magazine's top 100 Influential people of 2020, Sister Norma Pimentel has been providing food, shelter, dignity + compassion to migrants seeking refuge in the US. Aurora + Kelly are invited into Sr. Norma's grounded and joyous space to discuss the community which refugees of all different countries create under hazardous circumstances, why we are stuck in our individualism and what we can do to wake up to our sense of belonging. She urgently asks are we on the side that is defending life? Watch Sister Norma Pimentel's Ted Talk here: https://www.ted.com/talks/norma_pimentel...2020-10-2700 min

Hidden Human: The Stories Behind The Business LeaderE32: Healing The Wounds of Racism and InequalityAurora Archer & Kelly Sorg - creators of The Opt-In Podcast, join the program for a conversation about how to support healing, reconciliation, and new ways of navigating identity. Aurora and Kelly share their perspective on white fragility, and how to move past defensiveness and denial. Hosted by Kelly Meerbott, PCC of You Loud & Clear, Executive Leadership Coach, TEDx Speaker, and author. Check out her latest book, Meerbott’s Fables today! Connect with Kelly on Linkedin! Kelly Meerbott, PCC, Award Winning Coach, TEDx Speaker is a renowned expert in executive leadership. 90% of Kelly's clie...2020-07-031h 10

The Opt-In"B" is for Be the Change with Jay Coen GilbertJay Coen Gilbert is co-founder of B Lab, a nonprofit organization that serves a global movement of people using business as a force for good. The vision for Certified B Corporations is to change the operating system, culture, and practice of business so that all companies compete to be the best FOR the world, and as a result society will enjoy a shared and durable prosperity for all. As a white dude who has been integral in creating infrastructure for conscious corporations all over the world and ran and sold a multimillion dollar startup himself, Jay sits down with...2020-02-251h 04

The Opt-InDue Quach: Brain Hacking 3.0Due Quach (pronounced ‘Zway Kwok’) is an inspiring social entrepreneur and author of Calm Clarity: How to Use Science to Rewire Your Brain for Greater Wisdom, Fulfillment and Joy. Due uses neuroscience and mindfulness to guide organizations to tackle complex social challenges like addressing unconscious bias, healing trauma and building resilience, and building genuine inclusion. A poor refugee from inner-city Philadelphia, Due turned to neuroscience to heal the long-term effects of trauma, graduate from Harvard College and the Wharton School of Business, and build a successful international business career. Aurora + Kelly sit with Due to talk about the Collective Succ...2020-02-1844 min

The Opt-InHow the Story You Believe Impacts Everyone with Heather McGheeIf we ever needed a narrator to help generations of American people understand where we've come from and the direction we are going, it is Heather McGhee. A political strategist and distinguished senior fellow at think tank Demos, Heather demystifies the "American Dream" explaining how we have to work much harder to get no where near the generation before us -- and that's just the white folks. She breaks down how the stories we are told impact policy, how the rules change as the middle class LOOKS different, and how that hurts every American while benefitting very...2020-02-1148 min

The Opt-InYoga is Personal AND Political with Michelle C. JohnsonTHIS is the yoga we've been waiting for. Michelle C. Johnson, author, yoga teacher, social justice activist, licensed clinical social worker and Dismantling Racism trainer, gets into deep conversation with Aurora + Kelly about the intersections of yoga and justice, embodiment, liberation and spiritual bypassing. She has a deep understanding of trauma and the impact that it has on the mind, body, spirit and heart, and much of Michelle's work focuses on helping people better understand how power and privilege operate in their life. In a culture that literally takes marginalized people's breath away, Michelle explores how privilege, power and...2020-02-0439 min

The Opt-InDaralyse Lyons: I'm MixedWhen Daralyse Lyons isn’t doing splits or jumping out of airplanes, this former yoga teacher and eternal adrenaline junkie can be found with pen in hand furiously scribbling her latest novel. The "Transformational Storyteller" Daralyse talks with Aurora + Kelly about being "mixed" (half-Black, half-white) - her identity, her heritage - as both her life experience and latest children's book. Daralyse is raw and vulnerable, teaching us that we are each a rich mixture and every bit of it deserves honoring. Buy Daralyse Lyon's children's book, I'm MixedOpt-in to the conversation and let us kn...2020-01-2842 min

The Opt-InOnlyness with Nilofer MerchantTech and innovation legend Nilofer Merchant is on a mission to reimagine a future of work that actually works… for all of us. We often listen to the loudest guy in the room. Or the best looking. And in reality, most of us are "covering!" Few industries or brands understand what Merchant calls “Onlyness” – the experience, talent, perspective, and purpose lying untapped in our own people. What if each of us claimed the spot on the world in which only we stand? Aurora + Kelly kick off Season 2 with a BANG -- Nilofer's insights will inspire your "On...2020-01-2141 min

The Opt-InSeason 1 Wrap Up: Aurora + KellyAurora + Kelly join The Opt-In producer Rachel Ishikawa in reflecting on this past season and share their New Years Revolutions.Opt-in to the conversation and let us know what's on your mind. Find us on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter @theoptin.TwitterInstagramFacebookProduced by Rachel IshikawaMusic by Jordan McCreeHosted by Aurora Archer and Kelly Croce Sorg 2019-12-1726 min

The Opt-InHe/His: Gender Identity with Jaiden LoveHaving lived the first half of his life as a Black woman and now over a decade as a Black man, Jaiden Love redefines the term intersectionality. He offers his wisdom as a Diversity and Trans Inclusion Consultant for workplaces, groups, and businesses and works closely with families who have a child or spouse/partner that is living outside of the gender binary social construct. Jaiden is here with Aurora + Kelly to demystify why we state our pronouns, being trans, what question you can never ask him, and so much more. Find out more about Jaiden...2019-12-1054 min

The Opt-InMotherhood, Money + Meritocracy with Joanne RamosJoanne Ramos, author of NY Times bestselling novel The Farm, breaks down motherhood, money and meritocracy with Aurora + Kelly this week. From dormitory housing for domestic workers, to a luxury retreat for surrogates to penthouse apartments for .0001%ers, Joanne knows just how to hook you into her imaginative world while questioning systems of privilege and deprivation. The Farm by Joanne Ramos: https://amzn.to/36cDIlMOpt-in to the conversation and let us know on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter @theoptin.TwitterInstagramFacebookProduced by Rachel IshikawaMusic...2019-11-2648 min

The Opt-InThe Heart of Racism with Therapist April HarterApril Harter LCSW is an antiracism therapist and coach who helps white people break the rules of antiracism in order to show up authentically in their interracial relationships. Her work is controversial because her theories go against most traditional antiracism "rules." What is her source? Love. Find out more about April Harter at https://aprilharter.com/ and follow her on Instagram @aprilharterlcsw.Opt-in to the conversation and let us know on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter @theoptin.TwitterInstagramFacebookProduced by Rachel IshikawaMusic by Jordan McCree...2019-11-191h 01

The Opt-InMindfully Opting-In with Caverly MorganFrom growing up a white girl in Charlottesville, VA, to becoming a Zen Buddhist Monk for eight years to creating the first for-credit Mindfulness Course in Portland, Oregon high schools, Caverly Morgan's path has been anything but predictable, yet intriguing and purposeful. Aurora + Kelly get intimate with Caverly as she divulges everything from flipping a coin to determine whether she would stay at the monastery to reconciling her relationship with the Black woman domestic worker in her childhood home. Find out more about Caverly Morgan at https://www.caverlymorgan.org/Opt-in to the conversation...2019-11-1150 min

The Opt-InMeek Mill and Michael Rubin: Two Worlds Collide to REFORM ProbationPhiladelphia 76ers partner and REFORM Alliance co-chair Michael Rubin talks with Aurora + Kelly and reveals how his friendship with Meek Mill shifted his perspective, his opt-in moment to help #FreeMeek, and ultimately, his mission to advance criminal justice reform by passing bills at the state level to eradicate laws and policies that perpetuate injustice.Find out more information about Reform Alliance at reformalliance.comOpt-in to the conversation and let us know on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter @theoptin.TwitterInstagramFacebookProduced by Rachel IshikawaMusic by Jordan...2019-11-0528 min

The Opt-InFrom Privilege to Progress: #ShowUpMelissa DePino + Michelle Saahene tweeted the Starbucks arrest of two Black men for not buying a coffee. The tweet was heard around the world to the extent that Starbucks shut down for a day of retraining. What has unfurled is their joint venture From Privilege to Progress (P2P), a national movement to desegregate the public conversation about racism. Listen to their vastly different experiences and how their worlds collided and converged to now call on all Americans to join on the path to antiracism by learning, showing up in their everyday lives and amplifying the voices of...2019-10-2955 min

The Opt-InWhite Men on Race, Fatherhood and Opting-InSeth Berger is Managing Director of the Sixers Innovation Lab and Head Boys Basketball Coach at the Westtown School. Seth gets vulnerable and deep with Aurora + Kelly discussing being a white man at a rare intersection: fathering Black sons, supporting early career entrepreneurs in a field dominated by white men, and coaching aspiring athletes in a sport that notoriously exploits young Black men. Listen in to hear how Seth opts-in to living life on his terms while making a difference and having a damn good time doing it. Resources:Raising White Kids by Jennifer...2019-10-2247 min

The Opt-In10,000 White Women: Doing the WorkAurora and Kelly sit down with their co-creators of 10,000 White Women: Doing the Work, Lisa Lord and Erica Taxin Bleznak, to talk about the harm caused by white women's unconscious racism, their role in upholding the patriarchy, and the power of accountability. 10,000 White Women is an introductory workshop series co-created by Erica Bleznak, Lisa Lord, Aurora + Kelly. The intention is to bring awareness to the unconsciousness that white women have to their racism and the pervasiveness of white supremacy in our society, and encourage the beginning of self-inquiry work. From there, the hope is white women continue their...2019-10-1543 min

The Opt-InWhite Fragility with Robin DiAngeloEver notice how at diversity trainings it always seems to be the white people crying - what’s up with that? Well, there’s a name for it: white fragility. This week we talk to New York Times best-selling author Robin DiAngelo author of White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard for White People to Talk about Racism. We cover white supremacy, patriarchy, and the ways white women can opt-in to do better. We want to hear from you. What’s your experience with white fragility? Opt-in to the conversation and let us know on...2019-10-0846 min

The Opt-InSisterly LoveMeet Aurora and Kelly, two socially, generationally and ethnically divergent besties, who GET REAL in this new podcast. Join in on messy, honest conversations about race, white supremacy, health, spirituality and so much more.In this episode, get to know your hosts, learn about their backgrounds, and hear the story behind what drove them to start the Opt-In. Stay tuned this season for guests spanning from artists, healers, radical thinkers and change makers.Find us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter @theoptin.TwitterInstagramFacebookProduced by Rachel IshikawaMusic...2019-10-0115 min

High Five Success Stories by Steph HaydenLife Lessons Told by a Father-Daughter Duo: Pat Croce & Kelly Croce SorgHi everyone! So excited to share my conversation with my friends Pat Croce and Kelly Croce Sorg, my very first father-daughter duo and two of the most humble, kind, and welcoming human beings. For a... The post Life Lessons Told by a Father-Daughter Duo: Pat Croce & Kelly Croce Sorg appeared first on Welcome to High Five Success Stories Podcast!.2018-09-2500 min

Wrestling Mayhem ShowKelly Kelly Could GoThis week on Wrestling Mayhem Show 464, we talk all the latest headlines and more in pro wrestling, including:Discussion on AJ Lee’s retirement.Discussion on the evolving state of women’s wrestling.Talk on the news on WWE programming.Who should replace Stone Cold on the new Tough Enough?The Big Question: What if there was complete transparency in pro wrestling? How would that change the business?Mad Mike talks about the latest going ons at TNA Wrestling.What we learned from wrestling.Also make sure to:Share your feel...2015-04-081h 30

Wrestling Mayhem Show SUPER FEEDWrestling Mayhem Show 464: Kelly Kelly Could GoThis week on Wrestling Mayhem Show 464, we talk all the latest headlines and more in pro wrestling, including: Discussion on AJ Leeâ??s retirement. Discussion on the evolving state of womenâ??s wrestling. Talk on the news on WWE programming. Who should replace Stone Cold on the new Tough Enough? The Big Question: What if there was complete transparency in pro wrestling? How would that change the business? Mad Mike talks about the latest going ons at TNA Wrestling. What we learned from wrestling. Also make sure to: Share your feelings with us via e-mail at goodtimes@wrestlingmayhemshow.com Help ou...2015-04-0700 min

Wrestling Mayhem ShowWrestling Mayhem Show 464: Kelly Kelly Could GoThis week on Wrestling Mayhem Show 464, we talk all the latest headlines and more in pro wrestling, including: Discussion on AJ Leeâ??s retirement. Discussion on the evolving state of womenâ??s wrestling. Talk on the news on WWE programming. Who should replace Stone Cold on the new Tough Enough? The Big Question: What if there was complete transparency in pro wrestling? How would that change the business? Mad Mike talks about the latest going ons at TNA Wrestling. What we learned from wrestling. Also make sure to: Share your feelings with us via e-mail at goodtimes@wrestlingmayhemshow.com Help ou...2015-04-0700 min

Sorgatron Media Master FeedWrestling Mayhem Show 464: Kelly Kelly Could GoThis week on Wrestling Mayhem Show 464, we talk all the latest headlines and more in pro wrestling, including: Discussion on AJ Leeâ??s retirement. Discussion on the evolving state of womenâ??s wrestling. Talk on the news on WWE programming. Who should replace Stone Cold on the new Tough Enough? The Big Question: What if there was complete transparency in pro wrestling? How would that change the business? Mad Mike talks about the latest going ons at TNA Wrestling. What we learned from wrestling. Also make sure to: Share your feelings with us via e-mail at goodtimes@wrestlingmayhemshow.com Help ou...2015-04-0700 min