Shows
The Bright Side with Kevin & JasonPanic! At The LibraryReading can be dangerous, what with all those evil forces out there trying to stymie the free transmission of liberating ideas. And now we have to worry about cholera?! This week, the guys turn the page to when the fear of these new things called germs caused people to think that library books could spread disease.
Given that this episode is dropping on Thanksgiving, Kevin and Jason would also like to take a moment to thank you for listening, to this and all of our episodes. We appreciate you and love you, and we’d be nothing wi...2021-11-2553 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#104 – Mo’ Money, Mo’ ProblemsEveryone wants to win the lottery, but nobody thinks that the moment could curse their lives forever. Well, it could. In a classic "Be Careful What You Wish For" story, the guys this week scratch off the surface of the Curse of the Lottery Winner.
Apologies for this week's sub-par audio. It's all Kevin's fault and he'll fix it for the next episode!2021-06-1148 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#103 – Aw, Nutz!It was a dark time for America. A time when our future was uncertain, and a great war was threatening the very foundation of our nation. A war which pitted brother against brother, which separated the men from the other men (because women aren't dumb enough to engage in this). From our privileged vantage point now, it's hard to remember how close we came to annihilation, but we offer this requiem so that none may ever forget. This week, Kevin and Jason present: the War over Truck Nuts.2021-05-2854 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#102 – Blue Eggs and Wham!Avocado toast isn't the first hipster craze in the City By The Bay, oh no! This week, Kevin and Jason whip up the scrambled story of the Egg War of 1863, wherein a boatload of mercenary Florentines made a hash of a completely avoidable egg shortage in young San Francisco. Omelet the guys take it from here.2021-05-2147 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#99 – Having the Time of My Afterlife!Ah, Florida, you've done it again. America's marshy haven for the socially-impaired has long had a reputation for producing weirdos with a penchant for headline-grabbing eccentricity, but Kevin and Jason simply had to know: what is the origin of Florida Man? Well, we found him, and his name is Carl Tansler. The OG Florida creep, this fake Count and quack doctor kept a corpse bride in his home for over seven years in the name of "True Love." Trigger warning: probably just don't listen to this one.2021-04-3041 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#92 – Wienie Clod, the Phantom Barber of Creep StreetAttend the tale of this wienie clod,
Whose legs were short and proclivities odd.
He snipped the tresses of sleeping women,
Who never thereafter were stylish again.
He trod a path that none should trod,
This wienie clod,
The Phantom Barber of Creep...Street.2021-03-0446 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#91 – Go Dodgers! No, Really, Just Go.A baseball game. A ballpark hotdog. Needlessly uprooting a native population in the name of Manifest Destiny. America.
This week, the guys excavate the seedy history of the Battle of Chavez Ravine and how Dodger Stadium came to be located where it is. Caution: you may want a refund on those season tickets after you hear this one.2021-02-2541 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & JasonWhat Are Technical Difficulties?Pardon our dust! Due to technical issues, the guys won't be blessing your ears with a full episode this week. Please enjoy this Bright Spot in its place, and have a wonderful week!2021-02-1905 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#90 – Who? What? When? Where? WyomingIf the past four years have taught us nothing else, it has taught us the dangers of entertaining conspiracies "just for fun." Kevin and Jason didn't get the memo, though, because that's just what this week's episode is about! This week, the guys head off to the mythical land of Wyoming, only to end up naked and Canadian. What happens in between? Only reddit knows.2021-02-1139 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#89 – The Ol’ Ball And ChainMarriage is a glorious institution, but everyone needs a little Me Time now and then. But what happens when a getaway weekend requires a getaway car? This week, the guys walk down the aisle toward the altar of marital bliss, only to be jilted by the tale of Lawrence Ripple, the Kansas man who robbed a bank to escape living with his wife. Curl up with your SO and be grateful for them as you hear this wild story about a man trying to exchange one institution for another.2021-02-0439 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#88 – Luck o’ the…Alabamians?Who hasn't gazed at a rainbow, following its graceful arc to the horizon, dreaming of reaching its storied end, on the promise of finding...Mobile Alabama? This week, the guys trample on not just American history, but Irish oral tradition too, as they set off in search of the truth of the Crichton Leprechaun story. Will they find the pot of gold? Or just a pile of shit? We think you already know.2021-01-2841 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#87 – Everybody Has a Crazy AntThey aren't from here. But they came, and now it seems like they've taken over the whole place! They use up all the resources, trample on the existing cultures, then move on to the next unsuspecting unfortunates. We know you think we're talking about Americans, but no! This week, the guys manifest a destiny wherein they learn about the hidden lives of invasive species, those hearty, adaptive creatures that looked so cute in the store, but now they just ate the dog.2021-01-2248 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#86 – We Need To TalkHey, sweetie. We've had a good run, but it's not working out. It's not you, it's us. We want nothing but for you to be happy, so we have to let you be free. Free to live your life. Free to listen to other podcasts.
Kidding! We'll never leave you, though this week the guys are looking into the scary, painful world of the breakup. This episode is for anyone who has ever broken up with someone, or for any country that's breaking up with its President.2021-01-1440 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#85 – Clowns: Funny, But Not Ha-Ha FunnyThe clinical term for the fear of clowns is coulrophobia, but the rest of us know it as common sense. This week, the guys explore the (numerous!) clown panics of American history, often as a result of mass cultural anxiety. Of course, there's nothing like a televised attempted coup to ratchet up the cultural anxiety level. So if the giant orange clown in charge of the government isn't enough for you, who knows? Expect to see more?2021-01-0842 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#84 – Beware the Murky BottomWater, water everywhere, and what a spot to sink! This week, the guys probe the murky depths of The Michigan Triangle, a mysterious section of Lake Michigan which seems to swallow ships and planes much like its better-known cousin near Bermuda. Along the way, they find--well, not much. That's kinda the nature of mysterious sections of lakes which swallow ships and planes. If you were hoping for a more cheery start to 2021, I don't know, buddy. Sorry.2021-01-0150 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & JasonIt’s Not a Rerun, It’s a Re-GiftHappy Holidays to all, and to all a good riddance to 2020!
Our gift to you, in true 2020 fashion, is this rehashed episode from Christmas 2018. Please enjoy it and feel free to give it away to friends and loved ones, or just Carl, that creepy guy at work who just got creepier over Zoom.2020-12-2459 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#83 – The OG OrgyThe long, long lockdown months have now officially lasted all year, making us wonder just what pre-pandemic life even was. But the incredible news this week of the approval of two different vaccines has given us all hope, and turned our minds to what will come after. That's why, this week, the guys are taking a penetrating look into the history of the orgy, to prepare you for the bacchanalia that will inevitably follow the end of COVID. If you don't have time to listen this week, here's the gist: fucking. Just a lot of fucking.2020-12-1841 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#82 – Blow This HoleThe more one studies history, the more one discovers that absolutely everything has been done. Including, but not limited to, an Oregon town collectively deciding to detonate a beached whale. It goes exactly as well as you might think.2020-12-1037 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#81 – Sir? Sir?Every once in a while, a topic arrives on the Bright Side that makes one wonder, "How have they not done this episode yet?" This week is one of those times, as the guys explore some of the worst customer service experiences ever endured. Please press 1 to continue in English.2020-12-0437 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#80 – A Bright Side Special After-School Special Thanksgiving SpecialThanksgiving is a time for gratitude, fellowship, and, if you're Kevin and Jason, exploring all the ways Thanksgiving can kill you.2020-11-2746 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#79 – Those Who Slay Together Stay TogetherThis one is for all the lovers. Well, the criminally sick ones, anyway, which we're assuming make up the majority of our listeners. In 1991, Ray and Faye Copeland became the oldest couple ever to be sentenced to death in the United States, having been convicted of murdering at least 5 men at their Missouri farm. If you're looking for a love story to keep you warm as winter approaches, go turn on the Hallmark Channel. If you want a grisly account of a serial-killer couple, stay tuned.2020-11-1941 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#78 – Keep Your Nose CleanCleanliness is next to godliness. Especially if your dismembered remains are found in a carwash. This week, the guys give the undercarriage of life a once-over, exploring the time, all too recently, that half of a man's face was discovered on the floor of a Montana carwash. You know, so you can escape the gory details of current events.2020-11-1224 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & JasonThe Bright Side Election Message 2020Go Vote!2020-11-0200 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#77 – Boo, You Whore!It's Halloween! The one day when it's perfectly acceptable to take candy from strangers! This year, Halloween will of course be a more sedate affair, since we can all agree that 2020 itself has been scarier than anything October alone can throw at us. Nonetheless, the guys are celebrating the holiday by exploring the spooky, kooky history of the grand tradition of haunted houses. Make sure all the lights are off for this one, and don't ever, ever listen alone.2020-10-2936 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#76 – Who Ordered the Extra-Large Sausage?You've all been such great listeners, that today we are rewarding you with everyone's favorite activity--a pizza party! Come on a drive-along as the guys explore the frenzied, unsurprisingly sexy, and surprisingly dangerous world of pizza delivery. This week's episode is everything a great pizza should be: hot, fresh, steamy, and cheesy! Enjoy it right when it arrives, or later, because cold podcast is still good podcast!2020-10-2243 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#75 – Priscilla, Queen of the Coalmine BathroomLast week, the guys visited with some of the world's stupidest criminals; this week, they'll teach you how to become one! Of course, to be a stupid criminal, first you need a stupid law to break. That's why this week's episode is a deep dive into some of the weirdest laws still on the books, from how to properly handle a frog who died in a jumping contest, to exactly how much toilet paper you need to have on hand to operate a coal mine. Please enjoy responsibly.2020-10-1543 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#74 – Nothing Says “I Love You” Like Stealing a PenguinWe all make mistakes, and we can all be a little stupid sometimes. But when both of those things are true at the same time, well that, friends, is when magic happens. This week the guys stumble through the escapades of some of the world's most idiotic criminals, from a pair of love-struck waterfowl thieves to the worst Elvis impersonation imaginable. Enjoy laughing at the blunders of these master criminals, but remember: in no way is this a comprehensive list. This episode features scads of dunderheaded crooks, but does not include the many morons we have elected to public office.2020-10-0940 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#73 – Gimme That Sticky StuffWeeeeeeeeeeeee're Back! 2020 has been a tough one for all of us, and with things going as crazy as they are, we just couldn't stand back and stand by. These boys are too proud for that. #ProudBoys.
And so we're back, with an episode that has nothing to do with the world today. Yes, we are fully embracing your escapist desires, and beckoning you to join us in the wacky past. This week, the guys ooze down into a sticky situation, reveling in the lip-smacking, viscous gooeyness of the Great Canadian Maple Syrup Heist! You'll want to lick up every last...2020-10-0240 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#72 – Beautiful Leather We’re Having TodayAh, San Francisco! Home to picturesque city scenes, quaint cable cars, and down-and-dirty fucking in the streets. This week, the guys lube up and wade into the gritty world of Folsom Street Fair, a sex-positive, leather-positive, alternative lifestyle-positive street fair held yearly in San Francisco and branching out to other cities across the world. Do you consent to listening this week?2020-02-2548 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#71 – The Bigger They Are, The Harder They MaulMary was an elephant
Back in a circus show.
And everywhere that Mary went,
Mayhem was sure to go.
It followed her to Tennessee,
The place she met her end.
And all because, unwitting, she
Pancaked her untrained friend.2020-02-1835 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#70 – The Worst Half-Off Special You’ve Ever Heard OfIf the news has you down, this episode is sure to cure what ails you!*
Ah, modern medicine. A pill for everything, marijuana on demand, and the sweet release of anesthetic oblivion for anything more invasive than a teeth cleaning. Medicine wasn't always so accommodating, however.
This week, the guys slice into the story of Dr. Robert Liston, the "Fastest Knife in the West End," who could amputate a limb in a matter of seconds in a time before anesthesia, when every moment under the knife was sheer agony for the patient. Never mind that the occasional assistant's finger and/o...2020-02-1244 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#69 – Nakedness and Alcohol – What Could Go Wrong?We're baaaaa-aaaaaak!
And for our 69th episode, we thought it only fitting to dive headfirst into the seedy world of Vegas strip clubs, where sex is sold alongside the most ubiquitous legal drug: alcohol.
This week, the guys gallop into the Palomino Club, one of the only strip clubs in America that boasts both full nudity and a liquor license, to explore the undercarriage of Sin City. Along the way, they encounter sleazy lawyers, sex researchers who may or may not exist, bribery, and murder, of course. Get out of the way of any passing cabs as you listen to...2020-02-0442 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#68 – Santa. Con.Nothing says Christmas quite as much as a drunken mob of Santas descending on local bars, flinging Brussels sprouts at each other, distributing inappropriate gifts to terrified children, hanging from traffic lights, and beating up unsuspecting accountants dressed like elves. Or wait, toys. Maybe toys mean Christmas more than the mob thing.
Anyway, this week the guys ho-ho-hop into the old sleigh and jingle all the way to the bottom of the convention that's really just a pub crawl: SantaCon.
This episode also marks the end of our first season! Thanks to all our dedicated listeners, and we'll be back...2019-08-2754 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#67 – Act Well Your Fart; There All the Honor LiesWe've been holding this episode in for nearly a month, and we're about ready to burst! With anticipation, that is. This week on The Bright Side, the guys hold their breath and dive, nose first, into the wacky, malodorous world of professional farting! A time-dishonored tradition, professional farting has been around as long as there were performers who wished they were more talented. En gasse, they have entertained royals and common folk alike, for if there is anything that can truly unite a divided populace, it is this one sacred idea: farting is funny.2019-08-2153 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#66 – Séance It Ain’t SoThe truth is out there, apparently, and this week, the guys journey to the beyond to find it. Along the way, they encounter the Fox Sisters, a trio of mid-nineteenth-Century women who turned an April Fools joke into a religion called Spiritualism. Come along and learn the outlandish and spooky tale of these weird sisters, who duped desperate, grieving people into parting with their money just for the chance to hear some--admittedly--very impressive knuckle cracking.2019-07-2552 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#65 – Carnie Clowns With a Taste for BloodSo, if that title didn't freak you out, we want nothing to do with you. This week, the guys try to tame the Toronto Circus Riot of 1855, a rollicking moment of chaos in an otherwise very polite town, where corruption, sex, and religious fervor combined to whip up a wacky cocktail. Along the way, we will somehow encounter Oompa Loompas, singed giraffes, and the invention of ASMR. Grab a Labatt Blue and a hockey puck and settle in for a heck of a time, eh!2019-07-1649 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#64 – SAVE THE POOD!Nothing says "America" like moving to a neighborhood because it's close to a national landmark, then being pissy at people who want to come into your neighborhood to view the same landmark. And nothing says "City of Angels" like the Hollywood Sign. This week, the guys hike up the hill to excavate the history of one of America's most iconic images, and discover the disturbing death of "the most famous actress you've never heard of."2019-07-0645 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#63 – Thar She Blows!America's Civil War was a time of great strife, with brother pitted against brother, the nation ripped apart, and...a boat full of whores floating upriver? Yes, you read that correctly. Inspired by New York State's upcoming decriminalization of sex work, this week's episode looks back at an early, surprisingly successful attempt to regulate sex work in occupied Nashville, Tennessee. But don't worry--as with most successful attempts, this one comes along with plenty of ridiculousness before reason prevails. Did we mention the boatful of whores?2019-06-2748 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#62 – Swamp Ass Is The Worst SuperpowerGators! Riding Lawnmowers! Flying Bricks! This week's episode has everything: a time-traveling Floridian, a swan-punching Floridian, even a Floridian hoping to become a Bermudan through the clever use of a massive hamster wheel! If that last sentence didn't make any sense, don't worry. You're not alone. This week, the guys brave the Mosquito Coast to find the true identity of the World's Worst Superhero: Florida Man. If you can dodge the gators, you will find much to enjoy this week as we delve into the history of the Florida Man meme, how he became a viral smash, and a few...2019-06-2154 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#61 – Give Me All The Coke!!!If your roommate suggests cutting up the body of your friend whom you have both murdered together, move. That's just one of the helpful life hacks (!) that you will find this week, as the guys take a stab at the infamous "Club Kid" murder of Angel Melendez by Michael Alig and Robert "Freeze" Riggs. You may know the movie "Party Monster," based on these events, but you don't know the whole story! You still won't once you've listened to this episode, but hey, you'll have been entertained!2019-06-1357 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#60 – Poop Or It Didn’t HappenEverybody needs a hobby, but if you're not pooping yourself occasionally, are you really dedicated? This week, the guys wade into one of the nerdiest battles in history: the war for the undisputed top score in the Donkey Kong video game. Grab your quarters, limber up your thumbs, and learn what happens when people spend far too much time perfecting a skill that could not matter less.2019-06-0555 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#59 – Go For the Gold…Or the KneesWHYYYYYYYYY?????!!!!!!
Olympic figure skaters may seem graceful, but don't let their peaceful exteriors fool you. This week, the guys attack the famous Tonya Harding/Nancy Kerrigan Incident during the lead-up to the 1994 Winter Olympics. You may think you know the story, but just like a frozen lake, there's an unseen world just below the surface. Tighten your laces and hold back your tears for this one!2019-05-241h 00The Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#58 – Beat Me In St. LouisMarathoners are a special breed. On their best days, they battle the elements and the limits of human endurance. This is not going to be one of their best days. This week, the guys run full speed through the history of the worst-planned and -executed marathon in modern history: the 1904 Olympic/World Fair Games in St. Louis, MO, where the--ahem--arch support left a great deal to be desired.2019-05-1758 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#57 – Show Us Your Pits!Welcome to the Pacific Northwest--home of Bigfoot, the Space Needle, and Mass Hysteria! This week, the guys take the scenic route through the Windshield Pitting Mystery of 1954, in which a complete non-event led to widespread public panic. The winding tale will lead us through several crazy pit stops (Get it!?), including angry rocks, self-pleasuring orcas, and a completely unconvincing military denial. Get your ass in gear and join us!2019-05-1255 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#56 – Get Yo’ Streak On!Ah, the joys of public nudity! Who among us has never had the urge to strip off and run frolicking through the streets or onto the field, celebrating the freedom of youth and revelling in body positivity? In other words, who among us has never been drunk?
This week, the guys uncover the mostly zany, occasionally unhinged history of streaking, from its origins as a religious movement to some of the most famous career streakers (Yes, you read that right). And while we would never endorse public indecency, you should definitely be naked for this one.2019-05-0252 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#55 – Bruise Like JaggerVibes are no joke. When the vibes are good, peace, love, and music abound. When the vibes are off, however, things can go downhill faster than a passed-out concert-goer rolling towards a tiny stage. If that metaphor seems strange, you clearly don't know about the Altamont Music Festival of 1969. Modeled after the utopian Woodstock Music Festival earlier in the year, Altamont quickly nosedived into a drug-addled melee that would become legendary in its failure, cost 4 lives, and tarnish the reputation of the Rolling Stones for years to come. Eager to learn more? Go ask Alice.2019-04-2557 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#54 – Rich White Women To The Rescue!!Oof, this one is tough. On March 25, 1911, in New York City, the Triangle Shirtwaist factory burned, becoming one of the deadliest industrial disasters in American history. This week, the guys sift through the ashes to find out just what happened and who's to blame. Spoiler: it's not looking so good for capitalism.2019-04-1850 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#53 – Are We There, Yeti?You know what they say about a guy with big feet...
He's probably a liar.
This week, the guys go on a trek through the great Pacific Northwest to discover the truth behind the legend of America's own Abominable Snowman, the Sasquatch. Bigfoot. Or Bigfeet. Or Bigfeets. It's a whole thing, apparently.2019-04-1054 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#52 – Ouija Give It A Rest?I'm not moving it, you're moving it! On this very special episode, we are excited to welcome our first invited guest of 2019, The Devil!
Ok, well, maybe we aren't inviting the Devil onto the show. But we are exploring the original spiritual gateway drug--the Ouija Board! From its humble, craven, capitalist beginnings, the Ouija Board has been many things: a toy, a cash cow, a muse, a last hope for the desperate. Even today, it is informing cutting-edge science in surprising ways. So never fear; dust off the old toy and ask it some questions! Who knows? You might end...2019-04-0447 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#51 – First, Protect Your GenitalsNo tragedy is complete without some good old Act-of-God type destruction, and this week, the guys are serving up a tragedy of Biblical proportions, complete with a plague and "wrathful God"-level retaliation. Try not to squirm too much as you learn about the record-breaking Locust Swarm of 1874, which basically ate the flyover states, carrying off, as one farmer put it, "everything but the mortgage." If, after listening, you feel like eating a cricket burger as vengeance, we won't blame you!2019-03-2959 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#50 – Know What I’m Satan?It's our 50th episode, and we're pulling out all the stops! This episode has everything: demonology, witchcraft, voodoo, murder, rape, blasphemy, suicide, assassination, insanity, sex perversion, homosexuality, prostitution, satanic rituals, gambling, barbarism, cannibalism, sadism, desecration, demon summoning, necromancy, and divination, all accessible with the roll of one 20-sided die! That's right, this week the guys are summoning the Satan Panic surrounding the role-playing game Dungeons & Dragons in the 1970s and 80s! Dim the lights and head down into your mother's basement to fully enjoy this one!2019-03-2357 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#49 – Every Day Is Hump DayArizona of the 1880s was hardscrabble enough without the Devil terrorizing the countryside on horseback. But that's just what the citizens of post-Civil War Arizona Territory thought was happening when they were visited by the fabled Red Ghost of Arizona. This week, the guys learn the true identity of the Ghost (spoiler: it was Old Man Withers the whole time!), while learning about one of America's first military boondoggles. Stock up on water for this one; we won't reach an oasis of sanity for quite a while!2019-03-1247 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#48 – Nothing About This is OKKKIt's wonderful when the bully loses! This week the guys are k-k-kicking open the door on two memorable times from the 1950s when KKK Grand Dragon James "Catfish" Cole was publicly humiliated by the intended targets of his racist harassment. Feel free to engage in plenty of schadenfreude this week, as we revel in the power of organized resistance!2019-03-0555 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#47 – Build That Wall! Build That Wall!A petty man wants to build a wall. So, what else is new? This week, the guys explore the history of Spite Fences, with a particular focus on the most famous one. Erected by Charles Crocker on San Francisco's Nob Hill in the late 1800s, this 40-foot-tall monstrosity was built for the express purpose of ruining his neighbor's (Nicholas Yung) view and forcing Yung to sell his property to Crocker. You think your neighbors are assholes? Just wait.2019-02-1946 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#46 – Typhoid Mary, the Original ThotMary had two little hands, little hands, little hands,
Mary had two little hands, with skin all rife with poo.
And everywhere that Mary went, Mary went, Mary went,
Everywhere that Mary went, she'd surely sicken you!
That's right! This week, the guys are on the trail of Typhoid Mary, the infamous carrier of typhoid fever before medical science even knew what a carrier was. Please wash your hands before you download this on your phone. And after. And...just generally more than you do.2019-02-1355 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#45 – This Little Piggy Went to WarEmpires, amirite?
There's nothing like an international pissing contest to stoke the fires of patriotism. There's also nothing new about world powers finding it impossible to back down, even when the cause of conflict is completely stupid. This week, the guys jump whole hog back to the time that the US and Britain came to the brink of war over the death of a single farm animal. You heard that right. The Pig War of 1859 stands as an immortal testament to a simpler time, when rival armies could taunt each other in strongly-worded letters all week, but still get together f...2019-02-0553 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#44 – Christianity is a DragOh, the tangled web we weave...when we con millions of people out of their money, promising heavenly rewards to them while quietly enriching ourselves and avoiding taxes. Isn't that how the saying goes? This week, the guys explore the glorious tragedy that was Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker, two of the most successful (and corrupt) televangelists of all time. Have a look behind the makeup, if you dare, to the madness and secret lives beyond. Crack open an Apocalypse Fiesta Bucket and enjoy!2019-01-3059 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#43 – Why Are the Pretty Ones Always Crazy? (Badass Women, Vol. 2)What would history be without a healthy dose of misogyny? Thanks to men, we will never know! Fortunately, some women have been such badasses that their stories cut through the static and inspire us even today. This week, the guys highlight one such heroine, the incomparable Nellie Bly--a journalist, activist, traveller and business magnate who shattered the glass ceiling in investigative journalism and improved the lives of countless women who could not advocate for themselves.2019-01-2354 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#42 – How the Germans Invented Water SportsIf there is one thing history has taught us, it's that you should never piss off the Germans. Mein Gott! They can hold a grudge! This week, the guys cross the ocean with the New Germany movement of the 19th Century, an ill-fated attempt by a few displaced German royals to create a German Reich inside of the Republic of Texas. And they would have gotten away with it, too, if it hadn't been for pesky incompetence, weather, human nature, geopolitics and how farming works!2019-01-1655 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#41 – New Year’s Resolutions Are For QuittersWell, it's early January, so chances are you've already failed at maintaining your New Year's resolutions! But don't feel bad; you're in great company--just about as long as there have been people, those people are mostly terrible at sticking with a plan. This week, the guys ring in the new year with a look back at the history of the New Year's Resolution, a time-honored tradition as old as civilization. Look for a cameo this week from our good friends the Puritans, who just can't get enough of a bad thing!2019-01-0957 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#40 – How Do You Solve a Problem Like Baby Jesus? (The Christmas Special)Ah, Christmas time! It's a wonderful season of giving, making memories, and co-opting pagan celebrations to quash any religious expression that isn't Christian! This week, the guys strap on some skis and slide headlong down the slippery slope of the origins of Christmas. You should be sitting down for this one, preferably in front of a warm fire, eggnog in hand. Merry Christmas to those who celebrate it! To those who don't, Happy New Year!2018-12-2456 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#39 – Badass Women, Volume 1: HypatiaThink 2018 invented the Year of the Woman? Think again. Women have been kicking ass and taking names since before time began. This week, the guys slip into a toga and travel back to the Roman Empire of the 4th Century, where Hypatia of Alexandria exploded the cultural idea of what a woman ought to be, earning a place for herself among history's great thinkers in the process. And of course, no men had a problem with her outspokenness at all! No, wait, we meant to say that men killed her in a horrific way to repay her for her efforts...2018-12-2058 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#38 – Here’s Poop In Your EyeThe holidays are here, which means it's time to remember the reason for the season--the food! We hope you enjoy all the treats that abound, but sometime around when you're shoveling in that fourth piece of Yule log, give a thought to whether or not your cat-lady aunt washed her hands before she made it. In the meantime, join the guys this week as they spew forth about that most-unwelcome holiday visitor: food poisoning! Learn about the major culprits that can invade your biome, and hear the nauseating history of some of America's worst outbreaks. Spoiler alert: you may want...2018-12-121h 02The Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#37 – A Whore New World…Of PainWhoring is dangerous. Just ask Jason T. Gaffney. Or ask any of the victims of Jack the Ripper, the first serial killer to go viral. This week, the guys delve into the deep cuts of Jack's infamous, nightmarish murder spree of 1888, from the Canonical Five to various theories of who he really was. Speaking of nightmare fuel, Jack's identity has never been conclusively determined, so in a way, he will always be watching us from deep within the London Fog.2018-12-0659 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#36 – Mom! Science Won’t Let Me Fuck A Monkey!Ilya Ivanovich Ivanov was, depending on your perspective, either a visionary biologist years ahead of his time, or a despicable monkey fucker. This week, the guys explore his gory attempts in the early 20th century to create a "Humanzee," a theoretical creature that is the result of crossbreeding of humans and chimps. As you may imagine, it doesn't go well for anyone, and it ends in fascism. Life hack: if Stalin is the hero of your story, you need a rewrite.2018-11-291h 00The Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#35 – No Toaster Is Worth This! (The Thanksgiving Episode)It's Thanksgiving week, and we are grateful for you! Kevin and Jason are simply filled with gratitude for our listeners and for the chance to share our show with you! Don't worry, though; we aren't so thankful that we forgot to find something fucked-up for you this week. In fact, in honor of Thanksgiving, we are diving headfirst into the weird, craven event that's the real reason for the season: Black Friday. Every year, millions of Americans compete in our very own version of the Hunger Games, violently vying for the last Xbox or flat-screen TV, and often coming up...2018-11-2156 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#34 – Sure, They’re Criminals, But At Least They’re NakedWho doesn't love a good sex cult? If you're wondering where the right to bear arms meets the right to bare butts, this is the episode for you! This week, the guys peek under the robes to discover the hidden world of Rajneeshpuram, the Oregon cult of the 70s and 80s. This episode is insane, so be prepared for everything from free love to terrorist bombings. After this wild, wild ride is over, you may not want to run out and out and join the Rajneeshees, but we guarantee you'll never look at a sneeze guard the same way again.2018-11-141h 00The Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#33 – We’re Having Your Uncle For DinnerHuman. It's what's for dinner. This week, the guys head out on the trail with the Donner Party, the famously doomed pioneer wagon train of 1846. Join this migrant caravan as they break axles, get dysentery, and invent the original frozen dinner. Feel free to join the party! You'll probably be able to snag some digits; just avoid the salsa.2018-11-071h 01The Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#32 – Suck My…Blood (The Halloween Episode!)Vampires are dicks. Even when you think they're dead, there they go, escaping the grave at night to slowly suck the life from their relatives. That's a dick move, vampires. This week, on a very special Halloween episode, the guys sink their teeth into the Vampire Panic of 19th-century New England. Along the way, you can learn a lot about tuberculosis, one-stop shopping, and why you never hear the phrase, "running around like a vampire with its head cut off."2018-10-311h 01The Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#31 – Wyatt Twerp (with Special Guest Suzanne Brockmann!)OK, OK. All your heroes are a lie. History is told by those who live the longest, and this week, most of the people in our story don't live long enough to tell the tale. That's OK, though, because Jason T. Gaffney is on the case, ably assisted by best-selling author Suzanne Brockmann, who also just happens to be Jason's mom! This story gets dicey, but you'll be OK. Corral your feelings and check your weapons at the city limits!2018-10-241h 06The Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#30 – I Like Beer!Take me out to the ball game!
Throw hot dogs at my head!
Knife me and kiss me and scream at me.
I won't care, cuz the beer's almost free!
Yes, it's Ten Cent Beer Night in Cleveland,
Where thousands of fans broke the law;
Its a nightmare for normal folks,
But a dream for Kavanaugh!2018-10-171h 00The Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#29 – Do You Hear The People Sign?There are millions of Deaf Americans. Tone deaf Americans, unfortunately, outnumber them massively. This week, the guys learn all about the 1988 Deaf President Now! movement within Gallaudet University, a school for the deaf in Washington, DC. It's an inspiring story of peaceful protest, unity, and corndogs, a story which will leave you filled with the spirit of Les Mis, complete with barricades! Draw near and listen, and maybe turn the volume down in solidarity.2018-10-1057 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#28 – The End of the World…With Dance Breaks!The aliens are coming! The aliens are coming! But first, a word from Colgate Toothpaste! This week, the guys scan the airwaves for the truth behind Orson Wells' infamous "War of the Worlds" radio broadcast of 1938, which caused a nationwide panic, launched the career of a Hollywood legend, and led to the first recorded case of a lawsuit being settled with a pair of shoes. Stay off the streets for this one, and don't forget to tune in next week!2018-10-0257 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#27 – Why Isn’t Bill Pullman My Daddy?What is it with aliens and butts? This week, the guys take a probing (!) look at the supposed UFO crash in Roswell, New Mexico in 1947. Along the weird and winding way, they encounter Joseph Stalin, Josef Mengele, a bunch of mixed alien parts, and tiny Russian children plummeting from the sky. No one wants to feel alone, but if these are our interstellar neighbors, I'll take loneliness!2018-09-2557 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#26 – Torture Me ElmoToys are dangerous. We all know that Legos present a choking hazard and an Easy Bake Oven will burn your child to death, but did you know that Beanie Baby ownership can lead to a serious heroine habit? This week, the guys play around with the most tragic fad toys in history, from the Pet Rock to the Tomagotchi. Pitch a tent and stay up all night for this one!2018-09-181h 01The Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#25 – Severed, Severed EarNee means nee, Vinny. Sure, you know about the ear thing, but Vincent Van Gogh, who personified the starving, tortured artist of the 19th Century, also left an unparalleled artistic legacy, complete with haystacks, starry nights and armless Flemish peasant women. This week, the guys wander around in his brilliant, yet troubled mind, only to come back with a Belgian miner and the worst case of tinnitus you've ever half-heard.2018-09-111h 04The Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#24 – We’re MacFuckedTheater people are superstitious. Usually, those superstitions are completely fabricated. But the "Scottish Play" thing is real, you guys. It's so real. This week, the guys tread the boards in search of the origin of the supposed curse, touching on some of the most unhinged moments of theater history. In the process, they will answer the question of how an actors' rivalry led to the worst incident of civilian death due to militia action in America's history. Watch out for flying swords and don't say "Macb***"!2018-09-041h 04The Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#23 – Wow Wowie Wow WowIn 1969, the Woodstock Music Festival was the epitome of peace, love, and harmony. This is not that story. Join the guys as they dive into the disease pool of the Powder Ridge Rock Festival of 1970, Connecticut's answer to Woodstock. Have a refreshing drink of hepatitis, grab some poison ivy and meet us down at the Freak-Out Place!2018-08-3059 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#22 – Who Needs Turtles, Anyway?Some records will never be broken. Some simply shouldn't. This week, both are true! Welcome to Balloonfest, wherein Cleveland fails, once again, to shake the moniker The Mistake By The Lake. This event has everything: good intentions gone horribly awry, people with no friends, beauty, and a healthy dash of death and destruction. This is a dicey one, but as long as you're not a fisherman or an Arabian horse, you should be fine.2018-08-2250 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#21 – Orchidelerium, Or, How To Keep Your PenisFlower Power is real, and it kills. That's the lesson the guys learn this week as they uproot the history of the Orchid Craze in Europe, before people realized that seeds were a thing. Who knew that flower hunting was so dangerous? Everyone, it turns out, except the one guy who survived it. Keep all your appendages securely inside the dolphin for this one!2018-08-1549 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#20 – Enter Bliss, With ConsentIt's our 20th episode! This week, the guys discover the toxic truth behind another Superfund disaster! Join Kevin and Jason as they learn how an idyllic Missouri getaway town became a GET AWAY! town overnight, and how the present day isn't the first time the EPA has been the villain.2018-08-0755 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#19 – Disco Inferno…LiterallyThis week, the guys look into a disaster at a baseball stadium. Wait, didn't we do that last week? Yes! Turns out, baseball stadia are dangerous places. In our first listener-suggested topic (thanks to Twitter follower Maureen!), Kevin and Jason discover that not only is Disco dead, but...
It was murdered.2018-07-2755 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#18 – Naked People Are More Aerodynamic (with Special Guests, Vic In A Box!)On this Very Special Episode, the guys are joined by our brother podcast, Vic In A Box! Vic and Steve, both Philadelphia natives, join Kevin and Jason to share the brotherly love! Together, we delve into the worst disaster in baseball history, not including that time Michael Jordan tried to play. Along the way we learn a lot about sports, streetcars, sound effects, and why Philadelphians are so literal. Many thanks to Vic and Steve for dropping in and sharing the fun! Check out all their episodes at http://www.vicinabox.com2018-07-191h 06The Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#17 – Nice SassThis week, the guys uncover the inspiring story of Billy Haines, the biggest movie star you've never heard of. In 1930s Hollywood, the draconian Production Code led to the blacklisting of many of America's greatest talents, including the top-grossing star of 1930, Billy Haines. What dark secret led to Billy's erasure? Here's a hint: if he'd just married Joan Crawford, none of this would have happened. Grab your hand-painted wallpaper stencil and settle in for a rollercoaster of emotion!2018-07-1155 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#16 – Jesus, Mary and John LennonIn honor of Independence Day, this week the guys look into a time in history where Americans heard a celebrity say something they didn't agree with, and simply respected that person's right to free speech and freedom of expression. Ha! Just kidding! John Lennon said something about Jesus, so America lost its damn mind! Pop a cold one, light some sparklers and sing as much of "America the Beautiful" as you can remember.2018-07-0553 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#15 – ZoooooooooolBoo! Sorry we scared you! Go cry to Patrick Swayze about it. This week, the guys learn about the creepy history of the Greenbriar Ghost of West Virginia, who sought (and achieved) revenge on her killer. Warning: you might not want to be alone for this one. Go dig up a friend and listen together!2018-06-2758 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#14 – Oklahoma, Not OK!You're gonna need a good shower after this one! Join the guys this week as they examine the murky skies of the Dust Bowl, one of the most terrible ecological disasters in American history. Pack up your Grandma and head for California, if you know what's good for you!2018-06-2055 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#13 – New Coke HeadsAh, the 80s. A time of big hair, pastel suits and one of the greatest corporate debacles of all time! Move over, IHOB, and meet New Coke! This week, the guys pop open a can of whoop-ass on the moment when America reached peak 80s-ness. Dust off that stockpile of nostalgia you've been hoarding in your basement, because it's time for rock-and-roller cola wars!2018-06-1357 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#12 – Spring BrokeYou thought MTV's reality show was the worst thing to happen to Spring Break? Think again! This week, the guys explore the sordid history of America's favorite vacation in search of Where the Boys Are. (Hint: they're freezing their asses off on the Knife River.) Along the way, we will learn a few things about the time in 1969 when some North Dakota college students asked the fateful question: Why should Florida have all the fun?2018-06-0557 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#11 – A Good Reason to Spank Your KidsYou may think the rules of fashion are arbitrary and inane, but did you know they were also dangerous and deadly? This week, Kevin and Jason blow the lid off the Straw Hat Riots of 1922, a moment in history which proves that people will never pass up the opportunity to freak out for no good reason. Dust off your white suit, put pajamas on the cat, and settle in for one of the dumbest fashion events since the Met Gala!2018-05-2956 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#10 – The Original Queens of ShadeFasten your seatbelt...it's going to be a bumpy show! This week, the guys discuss one of the great celebrity feuds of all time, that between the first shady queens, Bette Davis and Joan Crawford. Katy Perry and T Swift have nothing on these two! As a bonus, we also learn some cardinal rules of Hollywood: (1) Don't piss off the writers, and (2) take Fountain.2018-05-2259 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#9 – We Didn’t Start the Fire…No, Wait, We Did.This week's episode involves the freaking Energizer Bunny of fires, started in Centralia, PA in 1962. Want to know when it will go out? Well, then, you're more curious than the residents of Centralia! Stay tuned for the most frustrating city government in the history of botched Memorial Day celebrations. Also, this week we learn about spontaneous combustion. Spoiler Alert: it's not a thing.2018-05-1759 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#8 – London’s Bad Year, Part 2 – Try Peeing on ItIn the second part of our first two-parter, the guys look into the blazingly shitty experience that befell London just as it was recovering from the buboes of the year before. That's right, get ready for the Great London Fire! Cruise out on the river, grab your golden bucket and fill it with popcorn for this one!2018-05-121h 00The Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#7 – London’s Bad Year, Part 1 – ShitcicleJoin Kevin and Jason as they learn about the Great Plague of London. No, not The Spice Girls. The actual plague. In the first part of our first two-parter, we discover why stray cats are actually good for us and the modern-day plague afflicting Republican senators. Be sure to tune in next time to learn how the situation actually gets worse!2018-05-091h 03The Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#6 – Nothing Sucks Like J. Edgar HooverYes, he's the longest-serving director of the FBI. But did you also know he was a human tragedy? Well, today we'll get inside the head (and possibly the chiffon) of the notorious J. Edgar Hoover, a man so powerful, presidents were forced into respecting the FBI. Those were the days, eh?
Also, Jason tries (kinda) to bury the hatchet with Texas.2018-05-0458 minThe Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#5 – Sodomy! The Musical!Ever wonder why the slippery slope is so slippery? Find out this week, as Kevin and Jason explore the depths (!) of the history of sodomy laws in America, and the landmark case that overturned them all. Sit back on whatever you like for this one.2018-05-021h 00The Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#4 – Every Deck is the Poop DeckJust sit right back and you'll hear a tale. A tale of a fateful trip. It started down in Galveston, and soon was awash in shit.
This episode, the guys explore the bowels of the Carnival Triumph (literally!) and the 2013 cruise that started well enough, only to end in infamy, known as the Poop Cruise. Batten down the hatches for this one!2018-04-261h 09The Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#3 – Paris of the West is BurningHear the rollicking story of the devastating earthquake and fire that essentially destroyed San Francisco in 1906. The ground became quicksand, the streets breathed, and fire consumed the city. But don't worry; Enrico Caruso will be fine.2018-04-241h 02The Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#2 – Baba-Love CanalJoin the guys as they uncover the stinky secret behind one of America's worst man-made disasters! In this episode, we put the Super Fun in Superfund! Hooker, you got a lot of 'splaining' to do!2018-04-181h 08The Bright Side with Kevin & Jason#1 – Emus Are BadassesEmus are basically Batman. Hear how they terrorized the Australian countryside and how the military was powerless to stop them because fences weren't a thing.2018-04-0953 min