Shows
Hurt Meets Healer PodcastI'm Your Spouse & Partner, Please Include Me****Life Unscripted: Our stories, unfiltered. We are walking through life, sharing our stories. If at any point you become triggered by this conversation, please care for yourself.You can end the sexual acting out and still be living a double life. We open up about the painful space where porn stops but secrecy survives, and how that “respectable betrayal” quietly starves a relationship of safety, partnership, and desire. From hidden financial moves and unilateral decisions to trickle truth and using recovery as a shield, we trace how old dopamine loops find new disguises when accountability is m...
2026-02-0250 minHurt Meets Healer PodcastDo Liars Know They’re Lying? Recovery, Self-Deception, And TrustWhat if the most dangerous lie is the one you tell yourself first? We dig into the hard question—do liars know when they’re lying—and follow it through the real-world fallout: broken trust, numbed empathy, and a slow drift from love into image management. From conscious deceit to self-deception and memory distortions, we unpack how small compromises become a lifestyle, and how that lifestyle quietly erodes marriages, faith, and self-respect.John opens up about the progression from self-protection to self-deception during addiction, and the painful realization that came only when he could finally see the damage...
2026-01-1944 minHurt Meets Healer PodcastI’m Taking Off The Kid GlovesIf you’ve ever felt forced to be “the understanding one” while your heart keeps bleeding, this conversation will feel like oxygen. Kim and John dive straight into the cost of kid gloves after betrayal—how minimizing, DARVO, and conflict avoidance prolong pain—and what it actually takes to restore safety. We draw a sharp line between confidence and self awareness, unpack how trauma bonds keep partners stuck, and name the moment the betrayed spouse chooses reality over appeasement.You’ll hear a clear framework for boundaries and consequences that isn’t about punishment—it’s about safety. We break d...
2026-01-0557 minHurt Meets Healer PodcastWhy Is Change So Darn Hard? - part 2I Stopped Acting Out… So Why Do I Still Act Like a Jerk? (The Arrogance Trap in Recovery)Sobriety stops the behavior, but does it actually make your partner feel safe? We go straight at the hard stuff: why pride can feel like progress, how “ego doping” keeps the reward system hooked, and what real humility looks like when the acting out ends but healing hasn’t begun. Kim and John unpack the difference between dry sobriety and meaningful recovery, naming the subtle dynamics that quietly wreck trust—minimizing, spiritual bypassing, scorekeeping, and defending intentions instead of owning imp...
2025-12-2256 minHurt Meets Healer PodcastWhy Is Change So Darn Hard? - part 1Change isn’t hard because you’re weak; it’s hard because it rewires how you survive. We open up about the messy middle of recovery after sexual betrayal and infidelity, where deep ruts—neural and emotional—fight to keep things the same. Together we unpack why willpower alone fails, how dopamine trains the brain to cling to secrecy and validation, and why early sobriety can feel painfully flat compared to the highs of acting out. Naming the biology clears shame and gives us a plan.We also draw a firm, necessary line around encouragement. Contrast changes people mor...
2025-12-0857 minHurt Meets Healer PodcastFBS - Faulty Belief Systems**Disclaimer: We discuss real issues about our relationship. This, at times, is raw, emotional, and extremely hard. Use caution and employ grounding techniques if you become triggered by this discussion.What if the story you tell yourself about pain is the very thing keeping you in it? We go straight at faulty belief systems—those sticky, inherited, and often spiritualized narratives that shape how we interpret betrayal, minimize abuse, and call silence “peace.” From the “elephant in the parlor” of family secrets to church myths about divorce, we unpack how bias, fear, and shame create a reality distortion...
2025-11-2452 minHurt Meets Healer PodcastWhen You Choose You, You Lose Me - part 2“When you choose you, you lose me” is a hard sentence to hear—and a necessary one to explore. We unpack how selfish patterns, secrecy, and transactional bargains corrode love after betrayal, and why safety-focused boundaries are not punishment but the first scaffolding of repair. From raw personal stories to faith-grounded principles, we trace the slow work of rebuilding trust day by day, drop by drop.We dig into the difference between self-care and self-centeredness, especially in the wake of sexual addiction or infidelity. The betrayed partner needs protective space; the betraying partner often misreads that space as rej...
2025-11-1046 minHurt Meets Healer PodcastWhen You Choose You, You Lose Me, part 1A single sentence—“When you choose you, you lose me”—can crack open the truth about why relationships crumble after betrayal. We take you inside that reality with a candid look at selfishness versus self-care, what safety actually feels like in the body, and how boundaries function as bridges instead of walls. From the first minute, we name the hard parts: gaslighting that reframes feelings as attacks, entitlement that calls harm “fairness,” and the slow burn of repeated deception that turns homes into places where nervous systems never rest.You’ll hear why accountability starts where defensiveness ends, and how...
2025-10-2736 minHurt Meets Healer PodcastWhen The Shift Hits The FanKim and John wrap up Season 1 by reflecting on their personal and relational growth through recovery from sexual addiction and infidelity. They explore how significant life changes—like Kim's 50-pound weight loss journey—mirror the emotional healing process that requires patience, consistency, and professional help.• Kim shares her longing for "safety, peace, stability, and consistency" after years in survival mode• John discusses learning to lead with love and stability despite his own woundedness and past failures• The metaphor of John's broken foot illustrates how physical and emotional healing both take longer than expected• Discussion of trauma an...
2025-09-2949 minHurt Meets Healer PodcastPart 3: Forgiveness...Is More Than Saying SorryForgiveness after betrayal isn't simply about saying "sorry"—it demands fundamental change that many struggling couples never achieve. This raw, unfiltered conversation pulls back the curtain on what true reconciliation requires after sexual betrayal tears a relationship apart.Kim introduces a powerful concept that cuts through empty apologies: "Sorry stops." Genuine repentance means the harmful behavior completely ends, not just gets temporarily paused or hidden better. For betrayed spouses, recognizing true remorse means watching for subtle signs—facial expressions, attitudes, and the absence of blame—that reveal whether their partner has truly changed or is merely performing remors...
2025-09-1545 minHurt Meets Healer PodcastPart 2: Forgiveness...Is More Than Saying SorryNavigating the treacherous waters of forgiveness after intimate betrayal requires more than just hearing "I'm sorry." In this second installment of our forgiveness series, we dive deep into what true forgiveness looks like when trust has been shattered.Using a powerful analogy of John's recent foot injury, we explore how emotional wounds, like physical ones, cannot heal properly when ignored or covered up. Just as his injured toe required examination, cleaning, and proper treatment, the pain of betrayal demands acknowledgment and care—not a quick bandage of forced forgiveness."Forgive and forget" might be the mo...
2025-09-0146 minHurt Meets Healer PodcastForgiveness...Is More Than Saying SorryWhat does genuine forgiveness actually look like when you've been deeply wounded? In this raw, unfiltered conversation, we tackle the misconception that forgiveness simply means saying "I'm sorry" and moving on. Instead, we explore the painful, messy reality of what true forgiveness demands.The journey begins with debunking common myths - most notably that "forgive and forget" appears nowhere in scripture. Biblical forgiveness involves cancelling a debt, not developing amnesia about what happened. This process costs us something significant: our right to justice or revenge. We discuss how forgiveness becomes especially challenging when offenses are repeated or...
2025-08-1841 minHurt Meets Healer PodcastHealthy Detachment: Finding Space to Heal After BetrayalThe fog of betrayal can be suffocating. After discovering sexual infidelity, many partners find themselves gasping for air, desperately trying to make sense of their new reality while constantly being pulled back into chaos by ongoing deception. This powerful episode explores the lifeline of healthy detachment - a misunderstood concept that proves essential for survival and healing.Kim shares her personal journey of needing to create space from John's persistent lies and manipulation, not as punishment but as self-preservation. "I needed safety. I needed to be able to sleep. I needed to not be lied to for...
2025-08-0439 minHurt Meets Healer PodcastThe State of Our UnionWhat does healing look like after decades of sexual addiction and betrayal? In this raw and vulnerable episode, we pull back the curtain on our own marriage journey, sharing our "State of the Union" after 36+ years together.The transformation we've experienced in just the past few months feels almost miraculous. We recently took two international trips that would have previously been minefields of triggers and conflict. Instead, we discovered a level of emotional intimacy we'd never known before—proving that real change is possible even after years of devastating hurt.John opens up about his br...
2025-07-2146 minHurt Meets Healer PodcastShould I Stay or Should I Go? Part 2Sexual betrayal shatters the sacred covenant of marriage, creating complex decisions about whether to stay or leave after such devastating violations of trust and commitment. We examine seven critical indicators that signal when leaving might be necessary while offering practical guidance for those navigating this painful journey.• Ongoing or unrepentant infidelity makes relationships unsustainable, especially when the unfaithful spouse refuses to take responsibility• Sexual betrayal often comes with emotional abuse such as gaslighting, manipulation, or shaming that creates unsafe environments• Trust is marriage's bedrock, and when irreparably damaged, relationships may no longer be viable despite attemp...
2025-07-0747 minHurt Meets Healer PodcastShould I Stay or Should I Go? Part 1Making the difficult decision to leave a relationship is one of life's most challenging crossroads, especially when betrayal, chronic disrespect, or ongoing harmful behaviors are involved.• Seven key indicators that it might be time to consider leaving: persistent harm/abuse, unrepentant behavior without accountability, fundamental incompatibility, stagnation/loss of self, one-sided effort, violation of non-negotiable boundaries, and enabling harm• Forgiveness doesn't equal reconciliation - they are separate choices that deserve individual consideration• Before leaving, ensure you've exhausted all reasonable efforts through communication, counseling, and seeking wisdom• In dangerous situations, prioritize safety above all else and plan...
2025-06-2344 minHurt Meets Healer PodcastThe Million Dollar 3 Letter Word, part 3: Why We Assume Instead of AskAssumptions can silently erode even the strongest relationships. In this eye-opening continuation of our "Million Dollar Three-Letter Word" series, we dive deep into the personality traits that lead people to assume rather than ask.Have you ever wondered why some people seem hardwired to make assumptions? We reveal eight distinct personality profiles that struggle with asking direct questions. From the overconfident person who trusts their intuition over seeking input, to the conflict-avoider who assumes to keep the peace, to the emotionally unaware individual who misses crucial cues – each profile offers profound insights into human connection patterns.
2025-06-0939 min
Sew Powerful ParablesA Flower in NgombeThe Sew Powerful Purse is changing lives in Zambia one girl at a time. This parable tells the story of Mercy and Grace, two girls who represent the tens of thousands of girls blessed through the Sew Powerful Purse Program.
Written and Narrated by Dana Buck
Additional voices: Adonia Seguy, Betiel Seguy, Selam Seguy, Kevin Oywak, Ruth Mwasi and Janairie Capps.
Devotional Thoughts Narrated by Kim Pratt
Produced by Beneath Blue Skies Productions
Music Credits: Adobe Music - "Totemic", "he Steeps of Kilimanjaro", "Spirit of Africa", "Extra Miles", "Gentle African Background", "Speaking of Africa", "Broad Land", "African Journey", Twinkle Little...
2025-05-2723 minHurt Meets Healer PodcastThe Million Dollar, 3 Letter Word, part 2The Ask vs. Assume Dilemma: How Your Communication Style Affects TrustCould your communication style be silently eroding the foundation of your relationships? Dive into the fascinating world of asking versus assuming with us as we explore this deceptively simple yet profound dichotomy that shapes how we connect with others.The fundamental difference between asking and assuming reveals itself in powerful ways: asking serves as an invitation, welcoming others into meaningful dialogue and shared experiences. It signals respect, consideration, and a genuine desire to understand. Assuming, however, operates from an entitlement mentality that bypasses authentic...
2025-05-2637 minHurt Meets Healer PodcastTrust is Built on Actions, Not Words: The Follow-Through EffectFollow-through turns the theory of solving problems into practical reality in relationships, serving as the critical component that transforms intentions into actions and maintains trust. We explore why consistent follow-through demonstrates reliability and respect—two essential elements for any relationship to thrive, especially those recovering from betrayal trauma.• Understanding follow-through as "pressing on in an activity to a conclusion" rather than just making promises• Examining how betrayal changes brain chemistry, creating trauma responses similar to substance withdrawal• Recognizing that childhood experiences influence our ability to follow through as adults• Learning the six steps of effective...
2025-05-1234 minHurt Meets Healer PodcastSolving vs Fixing: Using Biblical Wisdom To Restore Broken RelationshipsThe journey from betrayal to healing isn't about quick fixes—it's about deep, transformative solutions that address root causes. In this heartfelt conversation, John and Kim continue their exploration of "solving versus fixing" by presenting six biblical principles that can guide couples through the aftermath of infidelity and betrayal trauma.Through personal anecdotes, biblical wisdom, and practical application, John and Kim demonstrate that solving relationship problems requires more than surface-level fixes. The work is harder but infinitely more rewarding, as it builds relationships with "good, solid roots" rather than patching over fundamental issues that will inevitably resurface.
2025-04-2843 minHurt Meets Healer PodcastSolving vs. Fixing: Can Broken Relationships Be Repaired?Perhaps most powerfully, we challenge the notion that broken relationships should be "restored" to their previous state. Instead, we advocate for building something entirely new - a relationship founded on honesty, transparency and authentic connection rather than attempting to recreate what was fundamentally flawed.This episode offers hope through realism - acknowledging the difficulty of relationship repair while providing practical insights on working together through issues that may never completely disappear. Whether you're navigating infidelity, addiction, or simply feeling disconnected, these principles apply to anyone seeking deeper, more authentic connection.Join us at www.hurtmeetshealer...
2025-04-1439 minHurt Meets Healer PodcastSolving vs Fixing: The Path to Relationship HealingWhen it comes to healing from betrayal trauma and addiction, are you trying to fix a problem or solve it? There's a profound difference, and it could determine whether your recovery lasts or fails.Fixing applies a temporary patch to immediate symptoms. Like vacuuming only the visible parts of a room while ignoring what's under the furniture, it creates an illusion of completeness when crucial work remains undone. Solving, however, addresses root causes and creates sustainable change through an ongoing process of growth and healing.This distinction shapes our recovery. True repentance isn't just saying "...
2025-03-3144 minHurt Meets Healer PodcastIs It Just Another Bad Day?When does a negative thought pattern cross the line from protection to poison? Kim and John Capps tackle the thorny subject of resentment after betrayal, exploring the subtle difference between setting boundaries and harboring bitterness.Drawing from both research and raw personal experience, they break down the eight key factors that transform everyday hurts into hardened resentment: unresolved conflict, fixating on others' faults, communication breakdowns, feeling overlooked, repeated deception, unmet expectations, neglected needs, and harmful comparison. As Kim vulnerably shares, "I had pretty much silently divorced you in my heart," listeners gain a window into the devastating...
2025-03-1740 minHurt Meets Healer PodcastOne Mell of a HessIn this reflective episode of Hurt Meets Healer, we dive deep into the challenges and turbulence of repairing relationships impacted by betrayal. By navigating through the intricate, emotional landscapes of sexual addiction and infidelity, we offer insights and encouragement aimed at those in search of healing and understanding. Together, we confront the mess that betrayal creates and explore practical pathways to repair and restoration.The conversation takes us through the various emotional debts incurred in long-term relationships, paralleling them with financial debts that require dedicated effort to resolve. We emphasize that making amends is not merely about...
2025-03-0336 min
Sew Powerful ParablesLost and FoundThe power of forgiveness is the power of God working in us.
Written and Narrated by Dana Buck
Additional Voices: Jordan Miles, Patti Stevens, Janairie Capps and Toby Capps
Devotional Thought Narrated by Kim Pratt
Produced by: Beneath Blue Skies Productions
Music Credit: Adobe Music - "Sunday Afternoon," "Light Jazz Piano Trio," "Funny Playful Comedy," "Sweet Acoustic Dream," "Spring Memories Waltz," "Peaceful Guitar and Piano Background," "Delightful Duet," "Expressive Violin," "Calm Sentimental Cinematic, Soft Ambient Music Background," "Relaxing Atmosphere," "Beautiful Autumn"
2025-02-2821 minHurt Meets Healer PodcastS1:E12 - Make The Repair, part 2What if the journey to healing from sexual addiction and infidelity could unlock deeper, more authentic connections in your life? We explore the heart-wrenching yet transformative process of making amends in relationships shattered by betrayal. Our discussion draws on the expertise of John Gottman, Carol Sheets, and Leslie Vernick to illuminate the vital role of empathy and understanding. We confront the challenges of acknowledging and repairing emotional breaches, emphasizing that genuine repentance requires not just words but real actions to rebuild trust. I share my personal experiences, urging listeners to rethink the notion of immediate forgiveness and how it...
2025-02-1735 min