Shows
The Art of We126. The Circle: A Real-Time Practice for Women to Lead Without Apology (with Barbs Edwards)If you’re a woman who feels like you’re performing, over-managing others’ comfort, or doubting your leadership instincts—this episode is for you. Krista and her colleague Barbs Edwards, introduce The Circle: a transformational women’s group experience based on T-Group methodology. Together they explore how this real-time relational practice helps women track their inner experience, speak with clarity and care, and break free from old patterns like people-pleasing, over-controlling, or self-doubt. You’ll hear personal stories, practical insights, and why collaborative, emotionally intelligent leadership is more needed now than ever.(00:00) – Why women don’t have impostor syndrom...2025-06-2638 minThe Art of We125. Our Partnership Mindset For Resilience During Hard TimesIn this honest and heartfelt episode of The Art of We, Krista and Will unpack the mindset shift that’s helping them meet uncertainty and stress with strength. Instead of reacting from “life is in the way,” they explore how choosing a “this is on the way” perspective changes everything, especially in partnership. From grief to bypassing to finding meaning, they share real tools and reflections for returning to a higher set point, together.“The Art Of We” podcast with Krista Van Derveer and Dr. Will Van Derveer(00:00) Intro and relational check-in: chaos, uncertainty, & weird coping rituals...2025-06-1219 minThe Art of We124. Date Nights, Honest Sex & Deepening Intimacy with Shana JamesIn this episode of The Art of We, Krista is joined by longtime friend and renowned relationship coach Shana James for a candid, heartfelt conversation about cultivating deeper intimacy in partnership. From redefining what sex actually means to designing date nights that create more presence, pleasure, and connection — we talk about insights and tools that might just shift how you think about intimacy, sex, and what’s possible in your relationship. This episode is full of heart-opening perspectives on what it really means to be intimate with another human being.“The Art Of We” podcast with Krista Van Derve...2025-05-1550 minThe Art of We123. Abundant Repair: Our Agreement That Turns Conflict Into ConnectionWhen conflict arises in a relationship, do you retreat, explode, or sweep it under the rug? We unpack one of our foundational relationship agreements: to Repair Abundantly. We explore how the ability to fully and lovingly repair after conflict is the difference between surviving and thriving—and how the right kind of repair doesn’t just restore connection, it deepens it. We share personal stories, listener questions, and the real-life impact of doing this work together, especially when triggers come up again (and again). “The Art Of We” podcast with Krista Van Derveer and Dr. Will Van Derveer2025-04-2420 minThe Art of We122. Always Find Possibility: Our Game-Changing Agreement for When Life Gets HardWhat if one agreement could shift how you move through perceived limitations, everyday stuckness, and painful patterns in your relationship? Krista and Will dive into their relationship agreement, “To Always Find Possibility.” Whether it's health issues, career crossroads, or relational tension, this simple yet powerful commitment has helped them stay connected, creative, and forward-moving—even when things seem hopeless. Tune in for real-life examples, practical insights, and an invitation to transform how you face challenges with your partner.“The Art Of We” podcast with Krista Van Derveer and Dr. Will Van Derveer(00:00) The origin of the agreem...2025-04-1725 minThe Art of We120. Turning Triggers Into Healing: Our Real-Life IFS Breakthrough at Richard Schwartz’s RetreatWhat if the parts of us we feel most ashamed of—our tender, young, vulnerable selves—were actually the doorway to greater sovereignty and connection in our partnerships? In this deeply personal episode, we share a very real moment from our recent IFS (Internal Family Systems) retreat with Richard Schwartz, where an old, exiled part of me got triggered in a big way. But instead of spiraling into conflict or disconnection, we used our agreements and IFS tools to move through it—together. If you’ve ever struggled with feeling unseen, insignificant, or overly sensitive in your relationship, this episode...2025-03-2727 minThe Art of We119. IFS for Couples: Why Understanding Your “Parts” Changes EverythingEver feel like your emotions take over during conflict? What if there was an easier way to navigate tough conversations? In this episode, we dive into Internal Family Systems (IFS)—a powerful approach to understanding the different "parts" of ourselves and how they show up in relationships. We share how this model has transformed our ability to work through triggers, deepen our connection, and show up for each other's growth in a way that fosters security and desire. “The Art Of We” podcast with Krista Van Derveer and Dr. Will Van Derveer(00:00) – The power of how we ph...2025-03-2023 minThe Art of We118. How Separateness Affects Desire & Discovering What Truly Keeps the Spark AliveDoes absence REALLY make the heart grow fonder? In this episode, we explore the role of separateness in fueling desire in long-term relationships and uncover the deeper factors that truly spark passion in a thriving partnership. Plus, we share a personal story about how the movie The Substance nearly led to a major rupture between us—but ultimately revealed profound insights about what really creates and sustains desire in our relationship.“The Art Of We” podcast with Krista Van Derveer and Dr. Will Van Derveer(00:00) Welcome!(00:35) Listener question: Does separateness fuel desire in long-t...2025-03-1318 minThe Art of We117. Over-Merging & Hyper-Independence: The Path to Secure LoveIn this episode, we dive into over-merging in relationships, exploring the difference between healthy interdependence and codependency. Hear how attachment styles shape connection, balancing differing needs for contact, and prioritizing different needs for contact. We share our personal experiences of the power of co-regulation and how couples can create agreements that support both individuals and the we of their partnership. This episode offers valuable insights and practical tools to help you and your partner thrive.“The Art Of We” podcast with Krista Van Derveer and Dr. Will Van Derveer(00:00) Over-or-under merging is a path of deve...2025-03-0626 minThe Art of We116. The Art of Money with Bari Tessler (Pt 2): Money Dates, Money & Parenting, Different Earning PowerIn part 2, Bari Tessler shares her framework for Couples Money Dates, how to navigate power imbalances when one partner earns more, financial polarization & hidden money dynamics, the mental & emotional loads of money in partnerships, how to teach kids about money (without passing down shame), somatic tools to shift your relationship with money. If you want more financial intimacy, clarity, and teamwork in your partnership, this one’s for you!“The Art Of We” podcast with Krista Van Derveer and Dr. Will Van Derveer(00:00) Power, control, and financial conditions in childhood(02:09) Money...2025-02-2742 minThe Art of We115. The Art of Money with Bari Tessler (Pt 1): Money Shame, Financial Polarization & Enneagram TypesIn this episode, financial therapy pioneer Bari Tessler joins us to explore the deep connections between money, shame, and relationships. Hear how money stories and family lineage shape financial behaviors, why couples often polarize around money, and how the Enneagram can offer insight into financial dynamics. Bari emphasizes the power of financial therapy and somatic practices in healing and empowerment around money. “The Art Of We” podcast with Krista Van Derveer and Dr. Will Van Derveer(00:00) Money stories and lineage influences(00:23) Intro to Bari Tessler(04:27) Life phases & money decis...2025-02-2038 minThe Art of We114. Power, Attachment & Secure Functioning with Ellen BoederRelationship therapist and couples coach Ellen Boeder joins us to explore the intersection of attachment, power dynamics, and secure functioning in partnerships. We discuss how power imbalances can emerge in relationships, the difference between secure and insecure functioning, and how couples can cultivate true mutuality. “The Art Of We” podcast with Krista Van Derveer and Dr. Will Van Derveer(00:00) Why secure functioning matters in relationships(03:26) What defines secure vs. insecure relationships? (06:22) How power struggles emerge in insecure relationships(09:37) Three key factors that shape relationship dynamics(13...2025-02-1340 minThe Art of We113. How Specific Agreements Create Deep Personal Healing in RelationshipsIn this episode, we explore how small yet intentional agreements can help heal deep relational wounds and foster secure, connected partnerships. We share our personal experiences with one of our core relationship agreements and how it has transformed our injuries from the past. Through this lens, we invite listeners to reflect on your own insecurities and explore how agreements can be a powerful tool for healing, trust, and deeper intimacy.“The Art Of We” podcast with Krista Van Derveer and Dr. Will Van Derveer(00:00) Introduction: How small agreements can heal deep relational wounds(02:23) The...2025-02-0617 minThe Art of We112. Practicing Mutuality: Relational Agreements for Healing Cultural ConditioningIn this episode, Krista and Will Van Derveer dive into the power of relational agreements and how they help couples navigate cultural conditioning, power dynamics, and historical wounds. They share their personal journey of creating a partnership built on mutuality and responsibility—key ingredients for a thriving, purpose-driven relationship. Tune in for insights on how agreements can foster growth, repair, and deeper connection in your own relationship.“The Art Of We” podcast with Krista Van Derveer and Dr. Will Van Derveer(00:00) Introduction: Why mutuality and cultural conditioning matter in relationships(02:15) The origin of their...2025-01-3021 minThe Art of We111. Navigating Sexual Approaches: Unspoken Gender Dynamics and Trauma TriggersIn this heartfelt episode, we explore the delicate dynamics of sexual approaches in relationships, diving into how cultural conditioning, gender roles, and personal trauma can create friction. We share our own challenges, uncovering misunderstandings and the steps we’re taking to heal and grow. If you’ve faced similar struggles or want to deepen your intimacy, this episode offers relatable insights and practical tools to foster safety, connection, and collaboration.“The Art Of We” podcast with Krista Van Derveer and Dr. Will Van Derveer(00:00) Setting the stage for an intimate and important conversation(01:58) Explorin...2025-01-2332 minThe Art of We110. Special Announcement For Our Listeners!In this episode, Krista and Dr. Will Van Derveer announce a new series focusing on creating equitable partnerships. They discuss taking a brief break until mid-January 2025 and announce updated "Top 10 Agreements" available on their website. The episode emphasizes their commitment to exploring power dynamics, fairness, and mutual success in relationships, particularly from their perspective as a heterosexual couple. They share questions for the listeners to reflect on regarding equity in their own relationships during the holiday break.“The Art Of We” podcast with Krista Van Derveer and Dr. Will Van Derveer(0:00) - The importance of cons...2024-12-1912 minThe Art of We109. Will: Random + UncensoredIn this unique and candid episode, Will is interviewed by Krista about the inner workings of relationship and his personal journey toward creating a thriving partnership. Through spontaneous questions and random sentence stems, Will shares vulnerably about navigating challenges – from bathroom counter disputes to deeper questions of maintaining connection – and offers practical wisdom for anyone seeking to build a more conscious and fulfilling relationship. “The Art Of We” podcast with Krista Van Derveer and Dr. Will Van Derveer(0:00) Opening reflection on how people make meaningful changes in relationships (3:22) Will shares his journey from feeling al...2024-11-2827 minThe Art of We106. Political Differences: How To Talk About ItIn this heartfelt episode, we tackle a challenging topic facing relationships at this moment: how to keep our hearts open when political differences threaten to pull us apart. With the presidential election heightening tensions in many families in the US, we share our own journey of learning to have these difficult conversations, acknowledging the very real pain and fear that can arise when we feel fundamentally misunderstood by those closest to us.Drawing from our experience, we offer a compassionate framework that emphasizes connection over conversion. Through practical examples and vulnerable sharing, we demonstrate how curiosity about...2024-11-0723 minThe Art of We105. Giving Hard Feedback (Real Time Example)We dive deep into the art of giving feedback in relationships. We explore how to address habits or behaviors that may cause frustration while keeping love, respect, and collaboration at the forefront. Using a real-life example, we share a step-by-step approach for delivering feedback in a way that nurtures growth, creates alignment, and fosters a deeper connection. If you're ready to elevate how you and your partner handle tough conversations, this episode is for you!“The Art Of We” podcast with Krista Van Derveer and Dr. Will Van Derveer(00:00) Introduction and Common Misconceptions About Conflict2024-10-3132 minThe Art of We104. How To Start A Conversation About Negative Impact (Replay)If you want thriving relationships, having the harder conversations is a MUST! In this episode, Krista gives examples on how to skillfully start a conversation when either you’ve been negatively impacted, or you think you may have left a negative impact. Cleaning these impacts up are critical to the health of any relationship, and of course most importantly with the relationships that mean the most to you. This episode is part 1 of 2, where next week we will share how to skillfully give feedback, especially the kind that is hard to give and receive!“The Art Of We”...2024-10-2419 minThe Art of We103. Making Decisions When You Want Different ThingsKrista and Will dive into the delicate dance of making decisions together when you and your partner aren't on the same page. From the lighthearted story of their mug collection clash to the bigger conversations about significant decisions, they explore how they’ve navigated differences without sacrificing connection. Compromise is not the solution – but creating a win/win is. Listen in for practical insights, light humor, and actionable steps to turn moments of tension into opportunities for deeper partnership.“The Art Of We” podcast with Krista Van Derveer and Dr. Will Van Derveer(00:00) Welcome!(00:30...2024-10-1726 minThe Art of We102. Alcohol: Does It Help Or Hurt Your Partnership?A candid discussion about alcohol's role in relationships, including an honest conversation about how casual drinking habits subtly impact our intimacy, connection, and overall relationship satisfaction. We offer practical strategies for creating conscious conversations around alcohol and making healthier choices as a couple. Whether you're curious about moderating your drinking habits or seeking a more mindful partnership, this episode provides valuable tools and fresh perspectives.“The Art Of We” podcast with Krista Van Derveer and Dr. Will Van Derveer(00:00) The importance of explicit conversations in relationships (00:30) Exploring alcohol use in relationships & its impacts (01...2024-10-1025 minThe Art of We101. “The Dry Cleaners Incident” (& How We Made Up)Krista and Will dive into a relatable moment that many of us have experienced—how a seemingly small disagreement can ignite big emotions. They unpack their own recent "dry cleaning incident" and share the raw and vulnerable details of what it triggered for each of them and how they repaired the rupture. You’ll learn how to navigate those frustrating ruptures in your relationship and transform them into moments of growth. This episode is packed with practical tools on how to communicate better, repair conflicts, and move from "I" to "We" in your partnership.“The Art Of We” po...2024-10-0326 minThe Art of We100. How We Handle Money As A Couple & WhyManaging money as a couple doesn’t have to be a battle! In fact, it can be one of the most empowering & “mutually equitable” ways to grow together. This episode has insights on how to tackle tricky money conversations, turn financial stress into financial success, create money agreements & build a partnership where both of you feel valued & supported. Tune in, because leveling up your relationship starts with mastering your money game!“The Art Of We” podcast with Krista Van Derveer and Dr. Will Van Derveer.(00:00) - How financial systems can support or undermine a partnership(02:5...2024-09-2627 minThe Art of We99. Create A Healthy Relationship With Your Ex After Divorce: Dr. Jill Carnahan & Aaron CarnahanHow do I maintain a healthy relationship with my ex after divorce? How do I forgive my ex after a difficult divorce? Listen in to hear Dr. Jill Carnahan and Aaron Carnahan’s inspiring story of how they have created a harmonious and healthy relationship after a painful divorce. You’ll hear how to have a healthy relationship with an ex after divorce with the right tools, perspectives and mindsets. “The Art Of We” podcast with Krista Van Derveer and Dr. Will Van Derveer.(00:00) - Intro to Dr. Jill Carnahan & Aaron Carnahan(00:39) - How to cr...2024-09-1952 minThe Art of We98. Sex: How To Talk About It, Stages of Development & Getting Stuck In RoutinesWe cover a LOT in this one! Including: Creating a Safe Space for Sexual Conversations, Navigating Sensitive Sexual Conversations, Tips for Talking About Sex, Addressing Suppressed Desires and Fantasies, Getting Stuck in Sexual Routines, The Role of Sexuality in Relationships, Stages of Sexual Development, and more. Fostering an environment of trust and security using relationship agreements so partners can work through vulnerable topics without fear of disconnection.“The Art Of We” podcast with Krista Van Derveer and Dr. Will Van Derveer.(00:00) - Creating safety and security in relationships(01:56) - Addressing fears stemming from “how do...2024-09-1237 minThe Art of We97. Q&A: Help! My Husband Keeps Bringing Up The Past (And Won't Let It Go)Is there an issue from the past that keeps coming up? Or an ongoing conflict that can’t seem to get resolved? In this episode we explore effective approaches for couples seeking to resolve long standing issues and conflicts that resurface over time. We share our advice to a couple who is struggling with an incident that happened over 20 years ago, and also share an example of where we personally got stuck in our own marriage, related to our wedding date, and how we finally came to clarity.“The Art Of We” podcast with Krista Van Derveer and Dr...2024-09-0525 minThe Art of We96. Household Cleanliness Conflicts? This One’s For You!Do one of you like your home clean and organized but the other could care less? Does the majority of household clean up fall on one of you, while the other is mostly contributing to the mess? If you and your partner have conflicts around differences in cleanliness standards at home, this episode is for you! We share our own struggles in this area and what we’ve done to become more aligned in keeping a household environment that feels good to both of us. We offer insights to help couples navigate and resolve conflicts over cleanliness and organization in...2024-08-2924 minThe Art of We95. How Committed Relationship Can Unlock Your Greatest PotentialHave you ever wondered how to create a partnership that’s a vehicle for your greatest potential? Or struggled to create a partnership that can grow beyond the sum parts of the traumas, challenges or wounds that you and your partner bring into the relationship? In this episode Krista and Will share how they are using their relationship to explicitly bring one another into greater sovereignty, wholeness and capacity to reach each of their potentials. “The Art Of We” podcast with Krista Van Derveer and Dr. Will Van Derveer.(00:00) - The Struggle with Authentic Self-Expression And His...2024-08-2229 minThe Art of We94. How To Prioritize Your Sex Life (And Why You Must)Is your sex life taking a back seat due to a busy schedule? Tune in to discover how and why to prioritize physical intimacy, with our personal tips and tricks to keep it at the top of your to-do list. We'll also share the psychological, physical, and emotional benefits of prioritizing your sex life, especially for mission-driven couples. Plus, hear about our relationship agreement that keeps us on track!“The Art Of We” podcast with Krista Van Derveer and Dr. Will Van Derveer.(00:00) - Prioritizing your sex life & defining “sex life”(02:04) - The key mind...2024-08-1535 minThe Art of We93. Our Game-Changing Connection Exercise (35 Min or Less!)Do you crave a deeper connection with your partner but don’t know how in the face of super busy lives and schedules? Listen in to hear about a transformative daily connection exercise that has significantly deepened our connection in the face of crazy-busy lives. By prioritizing emotional intimacy and mindful listening, we’ve found this short but consistent practice minimizes conflicts and strengthens bonds. Discover how to bring more depth and connection into your relationship with this practical, heartfelt tool. Tune in to learn the steps and experience the profound impact it can have on your partn...2024-08-0823 minThe Art of We92. Same Argument Over & Over? Here’s What To DoDo you and your partner have the same frustrating argument over and over? Or you can’t figure out why the same darn issue keeps coming up and you can’t seem to resolve it? We know all about that! Today we share how we woke up to the root cause of the ongoing argument that helped us resolve the issue, instead of just putting bandaids on it. Listen in to hear key mindsets and actionable steps you can apply to help resolve those painful arguments. (00:00) - Discussing key elements to navigate repetitive arguments in relationships(01...2024-08-0126 minThe Art of We91. Great Relationship But No Chemistry? Try ThisDo you have a great relationship but it’s lacking chemistry? In this episode we suggest five unique areas to explore if your partnership is lacking the sparkle it used to have. We also share our relationship agreement that’s the secret to keeping our relationship chemistry and intimacy in tip top shape!(00:00) - Introduction to navigating relationships that are healthy but lack chemistry(01:49) - Our personal relationship agreement that generates chemistry in our partnership (02:33) - Importance of Generativity / Our Brain’s Tendency to Automate Our Partners(04:43) - The Need For Effort...2024-07-2532 minThe Art of We90. Relationship Ultimatum: When & How To Give OneGiving ultimatums in relationships is a serious, but sometimes necessary, decision. In this episode we explore the circumstances under which an ultimatum might be the right move, how to thoughtfully prepare for delivering one, and the importance of being clear and committed when standing up for your needs. Dr. Will shares his personal experience of giving an ultimatum in his first marriage and the transformative journey that followed. The discussion highlights the balance between supporting a partner's success and ensuring your own needs are met.00:00 - Introduction to ultimatums in relationships02:32 - Identifying when to...2024-07-1832 minThe Art of We89. Our Agreement To Not “Threaten” Our RelationshipImpulsively threatening the relationship when we get triggered, angry, or unable to work through repeating relationship conflicts is an ineffective way of attempting to get our partner to change. It creates insecurity, dysregulation and fear, rather than creating the feelings of safety and security that’s needed to work through difficult relationship challenges together. Today we discuss the importance of taking more skilled self responsibility in relationships, particularly when it comes to making threats or issuing ultimatums, including effective communication, mutual understanding, and adult behavior in addressing conflicts. In this episode we offer healthier and more constructive alt...2024-07-1126 minThe Art of We88. Masculinity, Vulnerability & AttachmentHow can you bring your vulnerability in a way that brings your partner closer to you? What is "masculine vulnerability"? In episode 88 of The Art of We podcast we dive into this topic, bringing smart relationship advice and best relationship practices for couples who want a successful partnership. We share our definition of masculine vulnerability and effective strategies for bringing more vulnerability for the purposes of building a lasting and extraordinary partnership together.(00:00) The intersection of masculinity and vulnerability and definition of terms. (04:21) Cultural & historical perspectives on masculinity (06:38) Example of hosts bringing “agentic” vulnerabi...2024-07-0427 minThe Art of We87. Addressing The Impact Of Tech Or Work AddictionAs mission-based people, it’s culturally acceptable to constantly be tethered to our phones, but what happens when being at the beck and call of our business gets in the way of authentic and deep connection? In this episode, we explore the impact that technology overuse has on our relationship and work on crafting a new agreement about using our phones after working hours. Since starting the Integrative Psychiatry Institute in 2018, we’ve largely been in startup mode. Now that the team is built out and there’s more operational support, it’s not solely on Will to put ou...2024-06-2026 minThe Art of We86. Krista’s Secret Dating Strategy (That Led To Meeting Will)Krista Van Derveer shares her journey of being single and looking for a partnership before she met Will. You’ll hear her unique approach on finding love after loss, preparing for a new relationship, navigating the dating world, and her secret relationship practices that helped her weed out incompatible partners to find a partner (Will!) that had similar relationship goals and also stood for an extraordinary kind of long-term relationship. If you’re single and looking for a relationship or you want to elevate your current relationship, this episode is for you!00:00 - Unique approaches to ca...2024-06-1335 minThe Art of We85. How Will “Called In” Our RelationshipWill shares his journey of waking up on his 40th birthday realizing he didn’t have the kind of relationship he really wanted, and what he uniquely did to eventually call-in his next partner (Krista!) and co-create the kind of partnership they have today. Whether you're single and searching or looking to elevate your current relationship, this episode offers valuable insights and useful advice.Topics Covered:Getting Honest: Will's 40th birthday epiphany about wanting a secure-functioning, interdependent relationship.Defining Your Ideal Relationship: Will shares how he clarified and envisioned the specific kind of partnership he wanted.Do...2024-06-0631 minThe Art of We84. Standing For The Kind Of Love You WantWithin our web of vows that help us maintain what we believe is possible in our relationship, gambling everything for the love we want is at the center. In this episode, we unpack what that means for us and how we work to bring forth every aspect of ourselves, even in challenging or uncomfortable conversations. Unless we take a real stand for the kind of relationship we desire, and then be willing to put everything on the table to give our relationship a chance to live into that stand, we are going to compromise or settle in a...2024-05-3021 minThe Art of We82. Questions From Oprah – Candid Q&A For CouplesJoin us as we explore Oprah's '110 Relationship-Boosting Questions for Couples,' asking each other spontaneous questions that not only led to unexpected insights for us as a couple but also highlighted areas where we need to gain deeper clarity in our intimate partnership.We get into topics such as:Is there such a thing as a “harmless” lie?How organized glasses in cupboards helps our relationshipLearning to speak more straight and maintain positive impactVampires vs werewolvesDoes commitment lead to more or less freedom?This relationship podcast episode with Krista Van Derveer and Dr. Will...2024-05-1629 minThe Art of We81. Healing After Heartbreaks & Betrayals with Sara Avant StoverToday we have a special guest to talk about navigating the turbulent waters of heartbreak & betrayals, & the power of grief as a portal for healing & transformation. Sara Avant Stover just came out with her third book “Handbook for the Heartbroken.” We talk about her very personal & vulnerable journey from devastation to rebirth. This conversation is a beacon for anyone wanting to heal & transform from heartbreak. Listen in for an intimate look into:Sara's serial heartbreaks across all facets of her life Learning her former fiance was living a duplicitous lifeThe journey of overcoming heartbreaks & transforming from griefT...2024-05-0952 minThe Art of We80. When Couples Can’t Stop ArguingDo you ever get stuck arguing a TON? Or “processing” issues all the time as a couple? If so, this episode is for you! Listen in for strategies to break the cycle of conflict, hear Krista and Will’s personal experiences, and learn practical tools and techniques to disrupt the arguing and to foster better communication and understanding.[0:00] - Conflict “quality” in relationships[0:55] - Hosts personal experiences[1:07] - Pain points in conflicts and advanced communication skills[6:12] - Relationship agreements for successful outcomes[7:23] - Strategies for dealing with emotional hijacking[10:2...2024-05-0232 minThe Art of We79. Duplicitous Lives? Our Take on “Dr. Death” & Andrew Huberman - Pt 2In Part 2/2 of this series, we dive into the shadows cast by public figures accused of leading double lives, including the likes of "Dr. Death" Paulo Macchiarini and podcaster Andrew Huberman. This episode unpacks the intricate dance of deceit and the personal ramifications of their alleged duplicity.In this episode, we explore:Our immediate reactions and predictions following recent revelations about Andrew Huberman’s personal affairsThe often unrealistic standards of perfection imposed on public figuresOur collective human curiosity about the private lives of celebritiesThe debate over the level of responsibility public figures should bearThe balance between re...2024-04-2522 minThe Art of We78. Duplicitous Lives? Our Take on “Dr. Death” & Andrew Huberman - Pt 1Inspired by people publicly accused of living duplicitous lives, such as "Dr. Death" Paulo Macchiarini, podcaster Andrew Huberman, & Bill Clinton, we dive into the complex dynamics of individuals who excel in their public personas but struggle with personal integrity in their private lives, specifically in intimate partnership. We share our personal thoughts & discuss the psychological aspects & real-life relational consequences of such disparities.[0:00] Duplicitous personalities of public figures[2:28] Social & relational implications[5:54] Complexities of deceitful relationships[7:10] Psychological impacts & public perceptions[9:11] Our personal reflections & experiences[10:47] Narcissism, sociopathy & lack of empathy ...2024-04-1824 minThe Art of We76. A "We" Definition That's A Relationship Game ChangerThis definition of the “We” elevates partnership beyond the conventional. Listen in to hear a conversation between us, Krista and Dr. Will, that frames how we view our relationship such that we more quickly can make decisions, work as a team, and operate at higher levels of functioning. In episode 76 we revisit a fundamental concept of “The Art Of We.” You’ll hear personal anecdotes and professional insights to illustrate the power of embracing the 'We' in relationships. We dive into the creation of a third entity (the “We”) that emerges from the union of two individuals, a concept that...2024-04-0426 minThe Art of We66. When A Partner Doesn't Keep Their AgreementsIn "The Art of We" Episode 66, hosts Dr. Will Van Derveer and Krista Van Derveer take a deep dive into the essence of relationship agreements. Building on the momentum from Episode 65, this discussion explores how couples can effectively create, sustain, and evolve their agreements, and specifically what happens when you make the agreements but then one or both of the partners don’t keep them. Navigating the complexities of commitments within a relationship, Dr. Will and Krista address common challenges couples face when agreements are broken or disregarded. They emphasize the importance of trust, learning, open communication, and...2024-01-2524 minThe Art of We62. Our “We” Goal Setting Process For The New YearWelcome to Episode 62 of "The Art of We" Podcast – a special episode marking the completion of our commitment to a full year of weekly episodes in 2023. In this episode we share how we will be reviewing this past year and our new and unique way of setting “We” Goals for this coming year. We introduce how we are tweaking our annual review process, which involves examining Demartini’s seven key areas of life – spiritual, health, financial, relationship, family, intellectual, and career. This reflective process helps us assess how well we met our goals, what lessons we learned, and identif...2023-12-2824 minThe Art of We61. How To Love Your Partner Through The Holiday SeasonWelcome to Episode 61 of The Art of the Podcast! In this second-to-last episode of the year, Krista and Will delve into practical practices that can provide support to our partners during family gatherings and social events, especially during the darker time of the year. Released on the solstice, this episode aims to bring more light into your relationships during the festive season.You’ll hear specific practices that Krista and Will have found effective in navigating stress and triggers during the holiday season. From pre-planning for events to understanding our partner’s subtle stress signals, their practical tips...2023-12-2131 minThe Art of We55. Will’s “Me to We” Transition As A Business LeaderIn this episode of "The Art of We," Dr. Will Van Derveer and Krista Van Derveer delve into the fascinating journey of transitioning from a "me-first" mindset to a "we-focused" perspective in both personal and professional leadership. Dr. Will shares his evolution from a solo psychiatrist to a leader in a large organization, highlighting the challenges and insights gained along the way.Episode Highlights:Introduction (0:00 - 0:57)Interviewing Dr. Will and the episode's focus on his journey from a solo practitioner to a leader in a large organization.Evolution from Solo Practitioner (0:57 - 6:27)2023-11-0928 minThe Art of We54. Why You Need Relationship Agreements At Home + At WorkWelcome to Episode 54 of "The Art of We" podcast. In this episode, we explore two essential aspects why agreements are vital for the success of relationships, both at home and in the workplace. Too often, we only focus on what we need to “do” to accomplish our goals, rather than understanding the security of our relationships is an essential part to accomplishing our goals. Relationship agreements help build this security and create a very strong competitive advantage. Picture a treacherous, winding mountain road without guardrails. A relationship without agreements can be similar. It's a journey with many unkno...2023-11-0215 minThe Art of We51. Secure Attachment vs Secure Functioning In PartnershipsWelcome to The Art of We podcast, Episode 51, where we delve into the intricacies of adult relationships, exploring the concept of attachment styles and adult functioning. Dr. Will Van Derveer and Krista Van Derveer, your hosts, embark on a journey to clarify these terms and provide valuable insights to help you navigate your relationships.Attachment styles, often linked to our early childhood experiences with caregivers, can shape how we relate to others as adults. There are two primary categories: secure and insecure attachment patterns. Secure functioning, on the other hand, pertains to how adults interact with each...2023-10-1219 minThe Art of We50. When Partners Have Different Approaches To AgingWelcome to episode 50! In line with Krista turning 50 next year, we are exploring divergent perspectives around big life experiences, such as aging, and the importance of these conversations in order to stay deeply connected and aligned as a couple. Using Peter Attia’s work to guide our exploration of health, we share the conscious and subconscious perspectives that we hold onto as we age. Krista illustrates how being inspired by Will’s commitment to health has revealed potential discrepancies about how we hold aging and what that can indicate for the future of our “We.” Unaddressed...2023-10-0529 minThe Art of We47. When One Partner Has Low Grade DepressionWhen one partner shows signs of low grade depression, it can sometimes be hard to know how to effectively provide support. If left unaddressed, not only is there an “elephant in the room” but it also can leave unintended negative impacts on the relationship. Often, depression can be viewed as a “problem” that’s usually left up to the person who is experiencing the depression to figure out how to overcome it. Our view is that this approach is ineffective. In this episode we share a myriad of perspectives, causes, and solutions to support the couple to effectively navigate when one p...2023-09-1436 minThe Art of We46. This Simple Shift Expands Our Access To PleasureGetting external support helps to take our connection and intimacy to the next level. In this episode, we recap our session with Somatic Sex Educator and Certified Sexological Bodyworker, Alyssa Morin. We share why we decided to book a session with Alyssa and disclose a key takeaway that’s created a big positive shift in our physical connection. We discuss our relationship to certain aspects of touch, as well as shared and individual challenges we face around pleasure, touch, and cultural and gender programming. Plus, Krista details takeaways from an experience with The Verdant Collective, a sex edu...2023-09-0731 minThe Art of We45. Sexologial Bodywork + Somatic Sex Education (with Alyssa Morin)Somatic Sex Educator and Certified Sexological Bodyworker Alyssa Morin joins us on this episode to explore cutting edge frameworks for improving intimacy and connection. Alyssa outlines practices to facilitate healing and get into deeper contact with what feels good. Plus, we look at how this branch of “parts work” can positively impact other areas of life outside the bedroom.Alyssa guides individuals, couples, and groups on how they can better navigate intimacy with themselves and the people around them. So much of her work centers on helping folks break out of the unconscious narratives or expectations they have...2023-08-3146 minThe Art of We44. When To Seek Couple's TherapyOur commitment to seeking external support for our marriage is rooted in our vow to lean on our community when we need it. We understand the challenge of deciding when to address issues within the relationship versus when it’s time to look for professional assistance. In today’s episode, we discuss the three types of external support we’ve used that have significantly impacted our relationship. We believe that seeking external support, including couple’s therapy, is a sign of strength and a crucial element to maintain the health and wellness of your “We.”One of the main way...2023-08-2428 minThe Art of We43. How & Why We Take Solo TimeDeliberate self connection in the service of partnership is a practice that deeply serves our relationship. When we commit taking time to ourselves we can do the inner work of discovering what’s inside us at deeper levels. When we are in more touch ourselves below the surface layers, we can share ourselves more fully with our partners, creating a connection together that penetrates into a deeper, more present state of mind, heart, and soul, and that disrupts the surface level connection that can become habitual when living busy and full lives.In this episode, we share th...2023-08-1723 minThe Art of We42. When One Partner Has An Exit RouteIn a relationship, one partner may have an exit route, an external or internal dialogue that creates a one-sided connection. In our past relationships, backdoor exits were unilateral and not navigated together — instead, insecurity, blaming, and a dysregulated nervous system led the way. Everyone’s situation is different, but for us, making the choice to have each other’s backs and take a leap of faith to show vulnerable parts of ourselves allows a deeper sense of security in our relationship to form. In this episode, we discuss backdoor exit routes and how they can show up implici...2023-08-1023 minThe Art of We41. When To Have Difficult Conversations With Your Family Of OriginFor some of us, deciding when to address unresolved issues with our family of origin can be confusing. Many people choose not to directly address issues so as to not stir the pot. Other people go as far as doing family therapy as adults with their aging parents and other family members. For us, we find it helpful to get clear about the purpose or what we want to accomplish with our family members to help us decide which topics to address and which to leave as water under the bridge, so to speak.When navigating the...2023-08-0326 minThe Art of We40. How To Start A Conversation About Negative ImpactTo have deeply fulfilling relationships requires that we bring our A-game when it comes to being sensitive to how we impact each other and to bring care when we negatively impact one another. If we are not conscious enough to recognize when we’re having unintended negative impacts on other people or we are not self-aware enough to acknowledge when we’ve been negatively impacted by someone else, we are playing a rookie game when it comes to relationships. In this episode, Krista is recording solo, and details what she’s learned about the impact of awareness to keep...2023-07-2715 minThe Art of We39. A Curiosity Practice That Transforms PartnersWe believe a critical element that separates an ordinary from an extraordinary relationship is the skill of curiosity. In a world that feels harder to be present, curiosity isn’t as accessible — which is why we try to come back to the childlike delight of questioning and discovering things. It takes intentionality, presence, and continuous practice to build the skill of curiosity, but the investment can help both heal and transform ourselves and our partners. In this episode, we explain the difference between true curiosity and socially-appropriate questions, and why receiving curiosity before giving curiosity is so close...2023-07-2030 minThe Art of We38. Money Honey! Finances, Prenups, Decision MakingThe conversation around money isn’t always lighthearted, honey. Money is one of the top stressors and major areas of conflict for many couples, which is why we put as much care and attention to how we do finances as we do anything else. In our opinion, there’s not a right or wrong regarding how money is dealt with inside of a partnership, as long as there’s true alignment between both partners.In this episode, we discuss how finances, prenups, and decision making have all contributed to the overall success of our relationship while respecting indivi...2023-07-1332 minThe Art of We37. The Dark Side of An Optimization MindsetWe continue to understand the intricacies around impact, and its ability to overtake us if we’re not focused on seeking (and maintaining) a balanced mindset. In this episode, we share our conversation around optimization and how its dark side can create impulsivity and over time, become a threat. We also draw from our personal backgrounds — including our individual Enneagram types — to discuss how to take our humanity into account when being cognizant of our goals vs. awareness of present possibilities.The ability to feed into a compulsive optimization pattern is actually quite relatable. However, the willingness to opt...2023-07-0628 minThe Art of We36. Collaborating With Your Partner? 3 Lessons For SuccessCollaborating with your partner is bound to have its challenges, but how do you navigate partnership on a large, public scale that not only involves collaboration — but also shared responsibility around representation and messaging? We’re taking a look at what came up in the dynamic of our relationship as we were confronted with feelings of control, shadow parts of self, and approaching challenges from an individualistic vs. team perspective. The attachment we have to something — an idea, an outcome, and expectation — can often be a result of focusing on the attachment instead of the “why” behind the shared goa...2023-06-2927 minThe Art of We35. Attachment Styles: A Path To Wholeness In Relationship - Part 2 (Wave)It’s often said that relationships are like mirrors that magnify what’s happening beneath the surface, and recognizing attachment styles is one of the greatest ways to use that mirror. In this episode, we look at ambivalent attachment, or as psychologist Stan Tatkin refers to it, the “Wave” attachment style. The typical core injuries of “Wavy” people include receiving reward from a caregiver for being dependent or experiencing inconsistent levels of soothing. These patterns can lead to hyper-vigilance about the security of a relationship and often result in a willingness to do anything for it, even at the expens...2023-06-2223 minThe Art of We34. Attachment Styles: A Path To Wholeness In Relationship - Part 1 (Island)The most effective way to make it easier to get the love that you want and give your partner the love that they need is to understand each other's attachment style. Stan Tatkin has a helpful framework for recognizing when childhood imprinting comes up, and in this episode, we’re unpacking the layers of what he calls the “Island” attachment style, otherwise known as avoidant insecure attachment. The defense strategies we use as adults are often the result of the experiences we had with our caretakers as infants. How we regulate the nervous system in the face of perc...2023-06-1530 minThe Art of We33. The One Question All Couples Must AskWe’re revisiting our first episode to take a look at one of the foundational principles that supports our relationship. We reflect on what's different about our partnership compared to previous ones and unpack the juicy conversation we had on our first date. Because we’re so committed to a very clear and explicit purpose within our relationship, we skipped the first-date small talk and got right into our vision. We were open about what we wanted to be up to as a couple, which ultimately provided a sense of validation, orientation, and collaboration. We continue to come...2023-06-0821 minThe Art of We31. Pornography's Impact On RelationshipFew things are equally as pervasive and taboo in our society as pornography. In today's episode, we’re unpacking how pornography addiction or misuse can impact a partnership and sharing ways to address the underlying urge for escapism. There’s nothing wrong with self-pleasure, but when it becomes the default alternative to dealing with the complexity of a partner, it often results in shame, disconnection, and things left unsaid. Pornography can be a way to avoid uncomfortable conversations about relationship dynamics, but the short-term solution tends to amplify the deeper issues at hand. Based on our exp...2023-05-2527 minThe Art of We30. How Meditation Deepens Our "We"Meditation is often seen as a solo practice, but in our experience, it can have a deep impact on your relationship with your partner, team members, or really anyone that you come in contact with. In this episode, we describe what our meditation practices look like and how we apply the benefits of it both on and off the cushion. When you train your brain to quiet the chatter, it creates an opportunity for profound listening both internally and externally. Though we had different entry points and teachers, the guiding principles of discovering what’s going on in...2023-05-1828 minThe Art of We29. Too Many Needs, Too Little Time?What happens when you bring an external element into your couple bubble that disrupts the connectivity? Maybe it’s a child, an aging parent, a new job, or in our case, a puppy, all of which require a reconfiguration of how everyone’s needs are met. In today’s episode, we explore techniques that help us address the impacts of throwing a curveball into our well-oiled system. When we decided to introduce a new puppy into our dynamic, we knew life was going to be chaotic for the first few months, but ultimately viewed it as an opportu...2023-05-1129 minThe Art of We28. Gamble Everything For The Love You WantWithin our web of vows that help us maintain what we believe is possible in our relationship, gambling everything for the love we want is at the center. In this episode, we unpack what that means for us and how we work to bring forth every aspect of ourselves, even in challenging or uncomfortable conversations. Unless we take a real stand for the kind of relationship we desire, and then be willing to put everything on the table to give our relationship a chance to live into that stand, we are going to compromise or settle in a...2023-05-0421 minThe Art of We27. Live + Lead From Desire (Marriage Vow)Don’t want a boring relationship? Then listen to this episode. When you feel like you’re stuck on a hamster wheel of life, it can negatively impact your partnership. One of our marriage vows is to live and lead from desire, meaning we’re committed to charting our own path and embodying our authentic expression versus defaulting to the stifling messaging we received growing up. In this episode, we discuss where this marriage vow stems from and how we support each other in upholding it. Within our cultural context, it can be difficult to allow ourselves to tap...2023-04-2729 minThe Art of We26. What Makes A "Power Couple"A power couple is fueled by two things: their love for each other and their internal drive to make a difference in the world. In this episode, we unpack our interpretation of what a power couple is, share questions that can help you determine whether you’re in a power partnership, and also explore ideas about how to get there. We've created the kind of partnership that we both dreamed was possible, but that doesn’t mean we’re standing on a power couple podium with a trophy in our hands. It requires a recommitment to the practic...2023-04-2025 minThe Art of We25. Should I Stay Or Should I Go? Navigating This Hard QuestionWhen you’re asking yourself if you should stay in a relationship or leave it behind, it can feel painful and confusing, even heartbreaking. In our previous relationships, we grappled with this dilemma a lot and dealt with it in different ways. There are various scenarios that might lead you to question the future of your partnership, and in this episode, we share how we navigated that period of our lives and questions to help guide you through it if you find yourself there now. Maybe you’re in a situation where abuse is present, or infidelity, or pe...2023-04-1328 minThe Art of We24. Tips For Dealing With A Defensive PartnerWorking with defensiveness is like an art. We’ve found that explicitly talking about what we each need when we are in a defensive state has really supported us to more easily and successfully make it through those fiery and challenging times. In this episode, we explore the impact of defensiveness, ways that we support ourselves and our partners in the heat of the moment.Like most behavior changes, a great first step is to notice when and why we default to certain thought patterns or actions. When you look at what’s underneath the layer of defe...2023-04-0627 minThe Art of We23. Do Your Perfectionistic Tendencies Impact Your Partnership?Do you have control over your perfectionism or does it have control over you? Today we get into the pros and cons of perfectionism and the impact it has on our “We.” We illustrate ways that we work with perfectionism, both individually and together, and also the ripple effect that it has on our relationship when we don’t address it.Perfectionism tends to get a bad rap, but when it doesn’t have you in its grip, it can be used as a tool to strive for better quality and continued improvement. It’s when we spiral int...2023-03-3023 minThe Art of We22. Tech Addiction: When Your Partner Can't Put It DownAs mission-based people, it’s culturally acceptable to constantly be tethered to our phones, but what happens when being at the beck and call of our business gets in the way of authentic and deep connection? In this episode, we explore the impact that technology overuse has on our relationship and work on crafting a new agreement about using our phones after working hours. Since starting the Integrative Psychiatry Institute in 2018, we’ve largely been in startup mode. Now that the team is built out and there’s more operational support, it’s not solely on Will to put ou...2023-03-2326 minThe Art of We21. 5 Signs Your Relationship Is In TroubleIn this episode, we unpack five signs that your relationship might be in trouble or indicate roadblocks to creating the type of partnership that’s a powerful and positive force to be reckoned with. In our combined 40 years of being in relationship, we share why these five are at the top of the list and are crucial to address for a long-term fulfilling and extraordinary “We.”It’s easy to create a partnership based on cultural or familial messages of what it looks like to be in relationship: “if my partner really loves me then I don’t need to ch...2023-03-1633 minThe Art of We20. Navigating (Cupid-Killing) ComplainingIn this episode, we take a look at the (unsexy) impact of complaining inside primary relationships and we share our agreement around holding and handling complaints in our marriage. When it comes to personal development and deepening relationships, there often comes a point when we’re faced with the reality of how complaining hinders our growth and possibilities. When there’s a lingering sense of negativity, it can limit the opportunities for connection, mutual empowerment, collaboration and feeling of joy being together.There’s nothing wrong with the cathartic venting, but we like to take it a st...2023-03-0930 minThe Art of We19. How We Practice Equality In Our PartnershipOne of the foundational agreements we’ve made in our partnership is a commitment to “true mutuality” and “mutual responsibility.” In this episode, we elaborate on what it looks like to bring mutual ownership to all of our outcomes, how we work with cultural programming regarding roles and responsibilities, and how we work through challenges that come up in this collaborative approach. For us, true mutuality means having equal power and equal say in our partnership. Mutual responsibility means no one person can be blamed for failures or given sole credit for our successes. Both of us are r...2023-03-0237 minThe Art of We18. Psychedelic Therapy + CouplesThe rise of psychedelic-assisted therapy marks a new phase in mental health care, but the modality is wrapped up in layers of misinformation and stigma. After Will joined the Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies as a study physician, our understanding of psychedelic therapy completely shifted. In this episode, we discuss the impactful results of key clinical trials and what the future of psychedelic therapy looks like based on where we are today, particularly as it relates to FDA approval. We also dig into how psychedelic therapy for couples can open up the possibility for resolving conflict, increasing i...2023-02-2329 minThe Art of We17. #1 Reason Couples Have ConflictIf you're in a relationship, you most likely experience conflict. It doesn’t always look like explosive fights or constant bickering — it might also manifest as living parallel lives, lacking deeper connection and having different priorities. In this episode, we share what we believe is at the source of this conflict for couples and our strategy for moving into a more collaborative “We” experience that has the capacity to realize a greater purpose together.When we have different priorities (or “values”) than one another, it’s easy to perceive each other’s priorities as conflicting. This can show up...2023-02-1625 minThe Art of We16. "How To Build A Sex Room" Netflix Series ReviewThe Netflix series called “How to Build a Sex Room” is sparking conversations for us around sex, sensuality, and pleasure. In this episode, we share our review of the series and unpack topics including deprogramming cultural norms, why a sex room could be supportive in a partnership, the conversations many couples don’t have, and personal shares of what we’re doing to expand our expression of authentic desire in the bedroom. “How to Build a Sex Room” features couples who turn to interior designer Melanie Rose to co-create a sacred sex space in their home. On the show, you...2023-02-0933 minThe Art of We15. How We Protect Each Other (Even From Ourselves)Our agreement to “protect each other in public and in private, even from ourselves,” helps us experience higher levels of trust and security in our partnership. This commitment requires that we examine less conscious behaviors and patterns that can easily slip under the radar and create undesirable impacts on our “We.” In this episode, we discuss what this looks like in practice and why it’s so important for us. Have you ever heard someone complaining or putting their partner down, even if in a joking way? Not only is it uncomfortable to witness, but it also reveals wher...2023-02-0228 minThe Art of We14. Handling External Distractions + Shiny ObjectsWhen outside situations or people become a source of distraction to one of the partners in a relationship, or poses a threat to the connection of the two partners, we often refer to this as an ‘unmanaged third.’ When left unattended, it can be a major catalyst for causing rupture and disconnection. In our conversation, we illustrate some examples of unmanaged thirds in our dynamic and how we deal with them together as a team so that we can build more security in our partnership.With unmanaged thirds, it’s all about coming back into sovereignty, rather than l...2023-01-2631 minThe Art of We13. The Power of Assuming Positive Intent (When Negatively Impacted)When someone says or does something that negatively impacts you, what’s your default assumption about their intention? It’s hard to assume positive intent when you feel triggered, but committing to that as a practice is an opportunity for taking greater leadership in relationship.We’ve made it a vow to practice getting into each other’s worlds around impact and intention, and in today's episode, we explore what that looks like for us and how you can apply it to your relationships. We break down a couple of scenarios to illustrate how we gain stre...2023-01-1926 minThe Art of We12. How We Align When We Don't AgreeIt’s essential to find true alignment in decision making when operating from ‘the We’ perspective, whether it's intimate or business, to help us accomplish our goals, stay on track with our mission, and develop a deeper connection with each other. And, it’s not always easy!In this episode, we discuss our agreement to put ‘the We’ first when making decisions and work through an example of what we do when we aren’t in agreement about how to move forward. There’s an elevated level of autonomy when we’re making decisions together. By operating in “th...2023-01-1230 minThe Art of We11. Stopping Repetitive Patterns From ChildhoodWe’ve found that getting stuck in our familiar victim mindset patterns often stops us from achieving the goals and desires that we deeply hold in our hearts. So, what can we do from a psychological perspective to get out of our own way? In this episode, we share the different tools and modalities that we personally use to address challenging imprints from childhood that can cause unwanted results. We’ve found that doing this victim mentality healing inside of a partnership is especially helpful for discovering blindspots and unconscious behaviors. We all hold core stories about who w...2023-01-0536 minThe Art of We10. Having Faith + Trusting DesireWhat do you do when your core connection and trust in your desire is called into question? We’ve all had experiences that have rocked our foundations, perhaps the loss of a loved one, an unwelcome career change, or in our case recently, the unexpected damage and demolition of our dream home. In this episode, we explore the idea of faith in the spiritual context and discuss what we do when we’re feeling disconnected from that higher power. In previous episodes, we’ve mentioned the lengthy remodel we did on our house this past year. The whole p...2022-12-2926 minThe Art of We9. Creating Meaningful Visions TogetherOne of the foundational elements for us as individuals and within our relationship is to take a stand for our mission and vision. In this episode, we explore the long-term goals that we have for our careers and marriage. There’s a deep emotional commitment required for making your dreams come true. That drive often directs your action, communication, and mindset. Since we opened the Integrative Psychiatry Institute four years ago, we’ve been focused on scaling in a way that doesn't sacrifice quality. Within our personal lives, our anchor has been the vision for our securely-attached, missi...2022-12-2227 minThe Art of We8. Top-Shelf Listening (+ Our Edgy Example)One of the greatest gifts we can give somebody is to generously listen to them. When we tune in for the contribution, value, or lesson of what someone is saying, we create a new level of commitment and presence.So often, people compose their responses while the other person is talking. Instead of listening with curiosity and intention, we put up unconscious filters and get distracted. By practicing generous listening, you can open up more possibilities and deeper understanding in your conversations. In this episode, we work through a live example of an emotionally-charged topic to demonstrate...2022-12-1532 minThe Art of We7. "Skin Time" + Our Routines For ConnectionOur comings and goings were some of the most challenging moments in our relationship, so it's really important for us to have a moment of actual contact and presence with each other before we leave each other. And when we come together, when we re-dock, we intentionally have a moment of actual presence, setting everything else aside. In this episode, we talk with you about things that help us stay connected and move things forward in our lives. We discuss how we achieve and maintain this depth of connection that we're accustomed to and that we have come to e...2022-12-0930 minThe Art of We6. A Unique Definition of "We"In the episode, we break down our interpretation of “the We” and how we hold it. This concept really helps us show up as better partners, stay grounded in our vows, and bring things forward that we might not expect. We share what it looks like to take mutual responsibility for the health of our connection and provide examples of how we use “the We” perspective in other relationships besides our marriage and business partnership. This practice gives us the chance to look at situations from a bird’s eye view, especially when we get caught up in...2022-12-0122 minThe Art of We5. Being For Each Other's SuccessThe framework of our vows keeps us grounded and willing to engage in conversations that can be challenging or uncomfortable. In this episode, we explore our vow to live from the knowing that we both win from each other’s successes. We dive into the essence of being for each other's success, how we challenge and support each other to grow, and describe what this practice could look like in the workplace. The foundation of being for each other’s success requires really knowing your partner, their life goals, and your collaborative aspirations. We define what success means...2022-11-2428 minThe Art of We4. Anxiety, Attachment Styles + BHAGsEverybody has attachment styles, and if we're not conscious of what they are, it can be really challenging to navigate relationships. In this episode, we break down the most common attachment styles and discuss some tools that can help reduce the root causes of anxiety. The ambivalent attached person is more concerned about abandonment, and the avoidant person typically is more concerned about too much contact or invasion. We explore how we’ve created a sense of understanding and compassion around these very deep patterns that we experience. We share tools for how to come back together whe...2022-11-1731 minThe Art of We3. When It's Hard to See PossibilityIn this episode, we discuss another agreement in our marriage that has had a profound impact on our partnership: commitment to always finding possibility. We dive into what it means to see possibility, examples of how we’ve navigated this agreement together, and ways to start exploring new solutions. Our early experiences often define our limitations and what we see as possible for our lives. We have a much harder time seeing our blinspots on our own or when we don’t have a commitment with another person to get out of that victim mindset. We illustrate what...2022-11-1030 minThe Art of We2. Our Agreement About ConflictIt’s essential that we really slow down and take the time to care for the impact that we're having with each other, and care for the impact that people have on us. In this episode, we discuss how we practice abundant repair and share tools that help us fully resolve conflicts. In our relationship, we can count on each other that repair is going to happen when a rupture occurs. We describe what it’s like to feel held and supported while we work through periods of disconnection, and explain why these difficult moments are actually an op...2022-11-1037 minThe Art of We1. This ONE Question Turned Our Partnership Into a Catalyst for ChangeWe’re Dr. Will and Krista Van Derveer, hosts of The Art of We. Thank you for joining us on our first episode as we share why we’re launching this show, a bit about our background, and what you can expect from future episodes. Since we went on our first date five years ago, we've started four businesses, one of them among the fastest-growing companies in the US. Together, we’re impacting thousands of lives through advanced educational programs and integrative medicine for mental health and psychedelic-assisted therapy. In today’s episode, we revisit the conver...2022-11-1021 minThe Art of WeIntroducing The Art of WeAs a leader who deeply cares about your contribution and impact on the world, what if you were told that achieving the next level of success with your team, business and family won't be found through signing up for yet another training, expensive mastermind, or who's-who networking event. What if the key to your potential sits across from you at your breakfast table every morning?Krista Van Derveer and Dr. Will Van Derveer are husband and wife, business partners, and hosts of The Art of We, a podcast that explores how committed partnerships can be potent vehicles...2022-10-1902 min