Shows
OurVoices with Kristin KalbliS8 Ep 2: The Final Episode of the OurVoices PodcastIn this the final episode of the OurVoices Podcast, host Kristin Kalbli shares a little of the wisdom she's accumulated over the years of producing this podcast and over a decade of learning and healing from her own experience in a mixed-orientation marriage. This final episode her gift to you —the loyal and mighty audience — in gratitude for your support, your attention, and your time over the last eight—yes, eight—years. Stay in touch with Kristin: Her book page: The Mercy Fake (Facebook): https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61570310436738 Kristin’s...
2025-03-1436 minOurVoices with Kristin KalbliS8 Ep 1: Kristin Finally Tells Her Story (with the Help of her Lesbian Bestie who Incidentally Never Married a Man)In today's episode, Kristin obliges audience members who have wondered when she would finally tell her story. Her friend Angela Tonn, who had a front row seat to the demise of Kristin's marriage, joins her to turn the lens on Kristin and ask her the questions she normally asks other people on this show. If you'd like to know where to find Kristin, check out the links below: Friend her on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kristin.kalbli Follow announcements about her book, The Mercy Fake: The Story of One Fake Marriage, Lots o...
2025-03-101h 33OurVoices with Kristin KalbliS7 Ep 6: Navigating Conflicting Feelings When a Straight Spouse has an LGBT+ ChildWhen Christine discovered her husband was gay after thirteen years of marriage, at first she felt relief that the disconnect between them had been explained. Anger and grief came much later. But when her oldest child came out as trans a few years later, she felt her grief first. Many straight spouses in mixed orientations marriages have LGBT+ children and face the challenge of reconciling conflicting feelings around those respective comings out. On today's show, our guest talks about the dissonance between her feelings when her spouse came out and when her child came out, and how she worked...
2024-07-0152 minOurVoices with Kristin KalbliS7 Ep 5: One Husband's Story of Divorcing a Late-Life LesbianWhen another husband called Wade out of the blue to tell him both their wives were spending time together on a vacation that very moment, Wade Ferris knew the writing was on the wall. With candor and vulnerability, Wade shares his story of learning that his wife of 23 years is a lesbian during the pandemic. A dedicated father and husband, Wade tried for decades to unlock the stalemate and repair the lack of intimacy in his marriage. By his own admission, the disconnect from his wife made him resentful and "not much fun to be around." He went on...
2024-06-081h 06
Out Late With DavidKristin Kalbli - The Impact of Coming Out on Straight SpousesSummaryIn this episode, David Cotton interviews Kristin Kalbli, the host of Our Voices podcast and an LGBT ally. Kristin shares her experience as a straight spouse and her mission to help others in similar situations. They discuss the signs that Kristin missed in her marriage, the impact of her husband's coming out on their relationship, and the importance of honesty and communication in the coming out process. Kristin asks David about his own coming out to his spouse. They also talk about the creation of a guide for coming out to straight partners and spouses...
2024-05-0540 minOurVoices with Kristin KalbliS7 Ep 4: Coming Out as a Late Life Lesbian with Anne-Marie ZanzalPodcaster, Writer and coming out Coach Anne-Marie Zanzal shares her journey to coming out as a late-life lesbian after decades in a straight marriage. With the hope of building understanding and healing for straight husbands, she sheds light on the experiences of women coming out later in life and answers their questions. About Anne-Marie: https://annemariezanzal.com Coming Out and Beyond Podcast: https://annemariezanzal.com/coming-out-stories-beyond-podcast/
2024-05-021h 24OurVoices with Kristin KalbliS7 Ep 3: The Case for Letting Go with Karen SlaterKaren Slater had a lot to forgive her closeted husband for, not the least of which is the impact his sexual rejection had on her. It created profound insecurity about her body and sparked years of yo-yo dieting, trying to reignite their sex life, only to have her efforts fail and the cycle repeat. In this conversation, she shares all she had to forgive, why she chose to forgive it, and how she was able to, all while insisting what her husband did in his efforts to maintain his closet were not ok. DONATE to t...
2024-04-011h 01OurVoices with Kristin KalbliS7 Ep 2: The Sweet Pain of Being Alive with Ann Anderson EvansAuthor Ann Anderson Evans shares her story of loss and healing after she discovered her husband’s body the morning after he took his own life. After a decades long struggle with his gender identity and her husband's suicide, Ann has worked to make sense of her life, the man she married, and the hidden pain he carried. Ann's story is nuanced, complicated, and defies expectations from every angle. Website: www.annandersonevans.com Book: https://annandersonevans.com/the-sweet-pain-of-being-alive/
2024-03-011h 14OurVoices with Kristin KalbliS7 Ep 1: Creating an Authentic Life After Mixed Orientation Marriage with Sally SrokAuthor and Coach Sally Srok shares her experience of losing herself in a 20-year mixed orientation marriage, learning her husband was gay, and how she rebuilt her life after divorce. After a birthday trip on a cattle drive reawakened her sense of self, Sally found the strength to confront her unhappy marriage, pursue a divorce, and keep her children's lives as stable as possible through it all. But it wasn't until she reexamined a draft of her book, Bonus Round, that she realized she still had to face her anger. Website: www.sallysrok.com Book: A...
2024-02-011h 06OurVoices with Kristin KalbliS6 Ep 13: Healing the Trauma and Shame of Betrayal with Author Michelle MaysToday we talk to Licensed Professional Counselor and expert in treating sexual betrayal Michelle Mays. She is the author of The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Hurts you the Worst. We discuss the emotional and psychological impact of sexual betrayal on betrayed partners, the four types of gaslighting and their effects, how shame operates in both partners in the relationships, and how to heal. Website: www.michellemays.com Book: The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Hurts You the Worst: M...
2023-12-0547 minOurVoices with Kristin KalbliS6 Ep 12: A Deep Dive Into Forgiveness, Part 2, with Pastor Carter CortelyouIn part 2 of our deep dive into forgiveness, we seek a spiritual perspective with Methodist Pastor Carter Cortelyou. We talk about why it can be so hard to let go of the identity of being a straight spouse, what lies on the other side of forgiveness, and why forgiveness can make us feel vulnerable. Carter Cortelyou is a United Methodist clergy person who has been serving congregations in Michigan since 1990. He currently pastors Novi (long “I”) United Methodist Church in the suburbs of Detroit. His ex-wife came out to him in October 2009 after 24 years of marriage. He marri...
2023-11-0153 minOurVoices with Kristin KalbliS6 Ep 11: A Deep Dive into Forgiveness with Everette WorthingtonIt's no secret that people who have been betrayed often have a hard time forgiving the person who betrayed them. Resistance to "letting them off the hook" is understandable. In this illuminative conversation with Professor Everette Worthington, we learn the science and research behind forgiveness - what it is, how to do it, and why it matters for our health and wellbeing. Everett Worthington is Commonwealth Professor Emeritus at Virginia Commonwealth University. Ev (which he prefers to be called) notes that his salary is retired but he isn't. He still maintains a license as a Clinical Psychologist in...
2023-10-151h 04OurVoices with Kristin KalbliS6 Ep 10: The Secret Life of Secrets with Michael SlepianMichael Slepian is the leading expert on the psychology of secrets and author of The Secret Life of Secrets. Slepian has authored more than fifty articles on secrecy, truth, and deception. We talk about why people keep their sexual orientation and gender identity secret (among other secrets), how secrets impact both the secret keeper and those that secrets are kept from, and whether or not it’s ethical to keep a secret from someone who has a stake in knowing the truth (such as a spouse or partner). Website: https://www.columbia.edu/~ms4992/
2023-10-0155 minOurVoices with Kristin KalbliS6 EP 9: Counseling Couples Through Gender Transition with Dr. Gary BischofDr. Gary Bischof is a professor and coordinator of the Marriage, Couple and Family Counseling Program in the Dept of Counselor Education and Counseling Psychology at Western Michigan University. He is a licensed marriage and family therapist specializing in the treatment of couples navigating the gender transition of one of the partners. In this episode, he discusses the pitfalls for couples negotiating gender transition, the factors that can lead to couples staying together, and what competent couples therapy looks like for couples in this situation.
2023-09-151h 04OurVoices with Kristin KalbliS6 EP 8: Facing the Second Half of Life Alone with Arti O'BrienIn our most raw and vulnerable interview yet, guest Arti O’Brien shares what it was like to discover only a year ago that her soulmate, best friend and husband of 30+ years had been cheating on her with men for the entirety of their marriage. They were the perfect couple: compatible in multiple ways, mutually affectionate confidants, and looking toward a happy retirement. It all changed when Arti noticed a romantic text on her husband's phone that wasn't from her...
2023-09-0150 minOurVoices with Kristin KalbliS6 Ep 7: Post Separation Abuse and High Conflict Divorce with the author of Cover Wife, Suzanne HopeAfter discovering that her husband was regularly dialing "Manhunt," one of the most iconic telephone dating services for gay men, Suzanne knew her marriage was not what she thought. After she left the marriage she endured two decades of post separation abuse and coercive control. Her experience has lead her to become a certified high conflict divorce coach and write her memoir: Cover Wife: Escaping the Wrath of a Closeted (Gay) Narcissist. Website: hopedoesntquit.com Email: suzanne@hopedoesntquit.com Book: https://www.amazon.com/Cover-Wife-Escaping-Closeted-Narcissist-ebook/dp/B0C8DV3BDR/ref=sr_1_1?crid=325R53VTOP704&keywords=cover+wife+suz...
2023-08-181h 00OurVoices with Kristin KalbliS6 Ep 6: Autoheterosexuality and the Connection with Trans Identities with Phil IllyWhen our guest Phil Illy found out he had a sexual orientation that he’d never heard of, he set out to understand it. Following an extensive review of nearly a century of research from clinical sexology, Phil describes and demystifies autoheterosexuality, and how this much misunderstood sexual orientation can set someone on a path to becoming transgender. He helps spouses and partners of trans people learn how the course of autoheterosexuality progresses, how to better understand the ones they love, how to contextualize what is happening during transition, and have the best information to make decisions for their li...
2023-05-121h 37OurVoices with Kristin KalbliS6 Ep 5: Decoding Closeted Spouses with Ryan KingOur favorite self-described former closeted gay narcissist in recovery joins us for a third time to answer audience questions. In this episode he helps us demystify and identify the deflection, script flipping, gaslighting, blame shifting and shame shifting tactics some closeted spouses may exhibit during the course of a mixed orientation marriage or partnership. Need support? Fill out a support request here. Your financial support helps make this content possible. If you would like to contribute to the podcast, please donate here.
2023-04-231h 21OurVoices with Kristin KalbliS6 Ep 4: When Disclosure is Still Fresh with Bridget Walker10 years ago, Bridget unknowingly married a gay man. He came out to her just four months ago. In this raw, deeply honest episode, Bridget takes listeners on a journey through the early days of her heartbreak with vulnerability and realness. She talks about anger, depression, and coping with learning that her marriage was not what she thought. She may have learned that she was not at fault for the distance in her marriage, but her husband's secret created the conditions for her to spend years blaming herself for their disconnect. Need support? Fill out a support request h...
2023-04-1557 minOurVoices with Kristin KalbliS6 Ep 3: Surviving Betrayal Beautifully with Jessica FrewJessica Frew is a wife, ex-wife, mom, stepmom, and she hosts a podcast called “Husband in Law” that she records with her husband, Matt, and her ex-husband, Steve, who is gay. Jessica shares here own story of Mixed Orientation Marriage, how they tried to make it work, how it eventually fell apart, and how she and her ex-husband managed to co-create a loving and respectful friendship on the other side of betrayal. Need support? Fill out a support request here. Your financial support helps make this content possible. If you would like to contribute to the p...
2023-03-2156 minOurVoices with Kristin KalbliS6 Ep 2: Surviving a High Conflict DivorceYour financial support helps make this content possible. If you would like to contribute to the podcast, please donate here. Our guest Jason shares his story of high conflict divorce after his wife's coming out. He describes how he navigated serious unfounded accusations, being arrested in front of his children based on those accusations, and the consequences of all of it for his children. He also describes how he rebuilt an exciting new life on the ashes of his old one. Need support? Fill out a support request here.
2023-03-031h 21OurVoices with Kristin KalbliS6 Ep 1: Cheating is Cheating with The Chump Lady, Tracy SchornIf you would like to support this episode, please donate here. On today's Season 6 opener, Chump Lady Tracy Schorn talks about cheating, double lives and closets (of all kinds), and the toll being a chump can take on an unsuspecting spouse or partner. Tracy cuts through the nonsense and calls a spade a spade: cheating is the "theft of your reality" and it sets up an abusive power dynamic. With trademark frankness and wit, Tracy tells us exactly why. Website: Chump Lady.com Book: Leave a Cheater Gain a Life
2023-02-1554 minOurVoices with Kristin KalbliS5 Ep 9: What is Autogynephilia with Dr. Ray BlanchardDr. Blanchard is widely known for his typology of transexuals and as the originator of the term Autogynephilia, a controversial paraphilia which describes a heterosexual male’s propensity to be sexually aroused by the idea of themselves as women. Dr. Blanchard was the psychologist in the Adult Gender Identity Clinic at the Clarke Institute of Psychiatry—now part of the CAMH (Centre for Addiction and Mental Health)—from 1980–1995. Much of his research in those 15 years concerned transsexualism and milder forms of gender identity disorders. In 1995, he was appointed Head of the newly created Clinical Sexology Services at the CAMH. This unit...
2022-12-051h 01OurVoices with Kristin KalbliWhen Closets are Part of Domestic AbuseIn this episode, our guest describes the domestic abuse she endured at the hands of her husband, who was also closeted. She shares the danger signs of domestic abuse, her risky exit from her marriage, and how she now uses her experience to become an advocate for both Straight Partners and Domestic abuse survivors.
2022-11-0456 minOurVoices with Kristin KalbliWhat it Means When a Spouse Comes Out as Non-binaryPhilippa wasn’t sure what it meant for her marriage when her husband came out to her as transgender/non-binary. The road after disclosure was a rocky one, and at times, Philippa didn’t think her marriage would survive. She describes how, with a commitment to treat each other with respect and honesty through the process, they arrived at a marriage that does not require a massive compromise on either of their parts.
2022-07-151h 05OurVoices with Kristin KalbliS5 Ep 6: Making Meaning when It’s Hard to Talk AboutKirsten Duncan, host of the Unexpected Launch podcast, talks about her husband’s disclosure that he is gay, how her entire life as she knew it changed in that moment, and how listening to other peoples’ stories of navigating big life challenges helped her move forward. She shares the questions and doubts she has about her history, and why it’s so hard to talk about having a spouse come out.
2022-04-1545 minOurVoices with Kristin KalbliS5 Ep 5: A Former Closeted Narcissist in Recovery Answers Your QuestionsRyan King returns to the podcast to answer your most common questions about closeted narcissists, their motivations and behaviors. He speaks from his own experience and his experience working with other closeted, married (to women) men. He uses what he’s observed to bring clarity and validation to Straight Partners.
2022-04-011h 38OurVoices with Kristin KalbliS5 Ep 4: Reconnecting to Our Sexual Selves after Betrayal TraumaZoë Kors is a sought-after sex and intimacy coach. She gives us a road map to heal our sexual selves after relationship betrayal. After sexual betrayal, there is an opportunity to reimagine our sexual expression, whether that’s with an existing partner or with a new partner. We explore what is possible for women and men when they embrace their authentic sexual selves and choose pleasure, intimacy, and joy.
2022-03-1554 minOurVoices with Kristin KalbliS5 Ep 3: Getting to the Bottom of Anger with Michael PlankDr. Michael Plank is a pastor and professor. When his wife disclosed that she is a lesbian, their lives as church leaders seemed to hang in the balance. With the help of a qualified trauma therapist, Michael had to find a way to the bottom of his anger, and back out again, in order to heal and find a healthy co-parenting relationship with his former wife.
2022-03-0151 minOurVoices with Kristin KalbliS5 Ep 2: The Impact of Gender Transition on SexShannon Thrace talks about how sex and intimacy with her spouse changed when they transitioned genders. In this frank, vulnerable and explicit conversation, Shannon shares how gender transition impacted her sexual relationship with her partner, as well as their connection to each other’s bodies. Her memoir, 18 Months: A Memoir of a Marriage Lost to Gender Identity, can be purchased here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BHTN37H6
2022-02-1549 minOurVoices with Kristin KalbliS5 Ep 1: Grace and Frankie with Show Creator Marta KauffmanMarta Kauffman, creator of the Netflix series Grace and Frankie, joins us to talk about the inspiration behind her characters, how the idea to give them gay husbands came about, and how her characters, as portrayed by Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin, survive and thrive after late in life divorce.
2022-02-0143 minOurVoices with Kristin KalbliOpen Relationships 101 for Mixed Orientation Couples2/3 of Mixed Orientation Couples will try to stay together post disclosure or discovery. Often they try opening their relationships as a way to keep their families together. Guest Libby Sinback is the host of the Making Polyamory Work Podcast. She gives us a 101 tutorial on open relationships, and how to proceed with mindfulness, respect, and realistic expectations.
2021-12-151h 13OurVoices with Kristin KalbliThe Impact of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell on a Military WifeJanice and her husband were members of the US military during the “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” era. That enforced secrecy, combined with being southern, Baptist, and African American, meant her husband had no safety to come out as gay. In this episode, Janice describes what it was like to live with a husband who began living a double life immediately after they married, the impact his secrecy had on her, and how she recovered her sense of self and her own value.
2021-12-0137 minOurVoices with Kristin KalbliWhen Praying Away the Gay Doesn’t WorkChristian therapist Candice Czubernat never expected to be working with Straight Partners as part of her LGBT+ affirming therapy practice. But many of her LGBT+ clients were told the same thing she was told by a pastor as a young woman: if they prayed hard enough and lived a righteous life, the gay would go away. When that didn’t happen, the Straight Partners of her LGBT+ clients ended up in therapy too, trying to understand what went wrong.
2021-11-1547 minOurVoices with Kristin KalbliWhen a Parent Transitions, A Son Does TooIn this open and heartfelt conversation with Jonathan Williams, son of transgender writer and speaker Paula Stone Williams, he shares his own journey through disbelief, anger, resentment, and finally, acceptance that his father was a trans woman. As an Evangelical pastor who followed in his father’s footsteps, having a transgender parent was a career ending development. Jonathan shares how he journeyed from pastor to ally and eventually left his church and created the first truly LGBT+ affirming Evangelical church in Brooklyn, NY.
2021-11-0152 minOurVoices with Kristin KalbliThe Invitation to Transformation with Priscilla TuftFitness entrepreneur, energy healer, transformation and empowerment coach Priscilla Tuft has a gift for guiding people through radical transformations. And she’s been through one of her own as the wife of former WWE Champion wrestler Gabe Tuft. In this episode, Priscilla describes her journey after Gabe came out as transgender and transitioned to Gabbi. She talks about being in the closet with Gabbi during the early months of her transition, the “processing process” she’s been through, and how she’s found healing and light in the fire of spiritual transformation.
2021-10-1557 min
Gays With Kids the PodcastS2E1: Coming Out With a Straight Spouse with Kristin KalbliWelcome back to the 2nd season of GWK the Podcast! To kick off Season 2, we're marking National Coming Out Day (October 11th) with a conversation about how coming out can impact families, and how men in straight relationships can navigate coming out especially if they have kids.This episode, GWK Executive Editor David Dodge speaks to Kristin Kalbli, Assistant Director of OurPath. Formerly known as the Straight Spouses Network, OurPath is an organization that has been around since the 1980's, formed to support the straight spouses of those who come out as queer and trans. Besides being the...
2021-10-131h 02OurVoices with Kristin KalbliA “Narcissist in Recovery” Gets RealRyan King knew he was gay from the time he was six years old. Despite this, he married a woman. In this double-length episode, Ryan sheds light on the abusive, narcissistic tactics he used to keep his unsuspecting wife trapped in their affectionless marriage, in the hope that other Straight Partners will recognize the signs of a closeted spouse. Under the pseudonym “Sean,” he created the thread “A Gay Ex-Husband Answers Your Questions” on the Open Forum specifically to answer Straight Partner questions about patterns of behavior common to some closeted partners.
2021-10-011h 47OurVoices with Kristin KalbliLearning to Trust Again with Dr. Debi SilberDr. Debi Silber is the founder of the Post Betrayal Transformation Institute and is a holistic psychologist, a health, mindset and personal development expert, the author of Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and Regaining Health, Confidence and Happiness. Today on the show, we talk about Post Betrayal Syndrome, the impact betrayal trauma has on the body and the psyche, and how people can heal from intimate partner betrayal through a process called Post Betrayal Transformation.
2021-09-1541 min
OurVoices with Kristin KalbliWelcome to OurPathWelcome to OurPath, formerly the Straight Spouse Network. Today on the show, founder Dr. Amity Pierce Buxton, Executive Director Kelly Hollimon, and board member Tiffany Butler discuss the rebranding of the Straight Spouse Network as OurPath, Inc. They answer all your questions about why the organization decided to adopt a new name and rebrand, how the process unfolded, and how they envision the new name, new website and resources will ultimately help Straight Partners and Partners of Trans People find their own path post disclosure or discovery.
2021-09-0936 min
OurVoices with Kristin KalbliS3 Ep 20: Let’s Talk About Sex. No, Let’s Really Talk About ItDeborah Simmons is co-author of the pre-published book, “What’s a Good Man to Do? A Candid Conversation about Sexuality.” Today she shares how to open up to dating again after traumatic relationship experiences. She advises men how to navigate their desire for women during the #MeToo era, and shares tips for honesty in discussions around our own sexualities in new relationships. She shares advice for facing vulnerability when dating, embracing it, and finding meaning from those relationship traumas that can be carried forward into new relationships.
2020-11-1552 min
OurVoices with Kristin KalbliPretending to Be Straight: Sociopathic Partners Who are Secretly GayPsychotherapist Ross Rosenberg is an expert in clinical narcissism, narcissistic personality disorders and sociopathy. Today he discusses what happens when a narcissistic or sociopathic individual intentionally hides their sexuality with the intention of harming others or for personal gain. “Sexual orientation is independent of psychopathology,” he says, but "the sociopath who needs to fit into society requires a backdrop, proof of their legitimacy so they can operate in the world. Often that requires a marriage. They need to get married, get a house, get children, so no one will question their harmful and abusive intentions. That is why they hide...
2020-11-0151 min
OurVoices with Kristin KalbliHow Gender Transition Impacts a CoupleMarried couple Stephanie and Debbie Hayton get personal in their discussion of Debbie’s gender transition, candidly sharing how it impacted their relationship and their family. Debbie tried to suppress her desire to transition until she no longer could. Stephanie tried to keep the family together as best as she could. This vulnerable interview highlights the fact that transition impacts every member of a family, not just the person transitioning.
2020-10-1554 min
Graying Rainbows Coming Out LGBT+ Later in LifeLou Poulain: Coming out after 60In this month's episode of Graying Rainbows listener Lou Poulain shares his story of coming out in his sixties. Books and Episodes Mentioned: GR 31 with Kristin Kalbli of the Straight Spouses Network The Gay Revolution: The Story of the Struggle by Lillian Faderman (2016). Faderman was interviewed in GR 1. Right Side of History: 100 Years of LGBTQI Activism by Adrian Brooks (2015). The Stonewall Reader by the New York Public Library (2019). When We Rise: My Life in the Movement by Cleve Jones (2016). Harvey Milk: His Lives and Death by Lillian Faderman (2019). Discussed with Faderman in GR 14. Additional Links:...
2020-10-0255 min
OurVoices with Kristin KalbliA Gay Man on the Pressure to Marry StraightAs a young, gay African American male from a Christian background, Nigel Ashford believed he would have to marry a woman to make his family and God happy. He didn’t think about the potential wife in the scenario: “To be honest I wasn’t thinking about the other person. I hate to say it, but the only thing I was thinking of was ‘how do I make my family and God happy? What do they want me to do? What do I need to do to make sure I’m pleasing them? Through representation and visibility, Nigel saw examples o...
2020-10-0135 min
OurVoices with Kristin KalbliA Young Closeted Lesbian on the Prospect of Straight MarriageToday, Layla Ali, a 19-year-old closeted lesbian from a conservative Muslim family, speaks about growing up as a gay Muslim, and the pressure she feels to marry a man. In fact, Layla isn’t even her real name, and we used a voice actress to portray her, because it is not safe for her to come out publicly. Layla talks about how marrying an opposite sex partner is expected of her, and she was headed down that road until she listened to the stories of straight husbands and decided that she never wanted to hurt anyone in that way. Sh...
2020-09-1553 min
OurVoices with Kristin KalbliA Self-Identified Trans Widow SpeaksToday on the show, a self-identified Trans Widow speaks about the gender transition of her husband. Initially, she made efforts to accept her husband’s need to cross dress, even accompanying him on nights out while he was dressed as a woman. But when he announced his intention to fully transition, she knew the marriage she had tried so hard to maintain had to end. She shares how negotiating boundaries with her husband around his cross-dressing, only to have those boundaries crossed time and time again, eroded her psychological wellbeing until she needed medical intervention.
2020-09-0150 min
OurVoices with Kristin KalbliA Methodist Mixed Orientation Ex-Couple Talks Faith and Coming OutMethodist pastor Carter Cortelyou and his ex-wife Peggy Garrigues, who works at a Unitarian Universalist church, talk about their marriage, divorce, and Peggy’s sexuality. Peggy came out as lesbian two decades into their marriage. Carter and Peggy share how they navigated disclosure and remaining quiet about Peggy’s orientation because of her ministry in the Methodist Church. They discuss the impact of Peggy’s sexuality on their faith, their ministries, and they share how they eventually found mutual respect, generosity and compassion for each other.
2020-08-1554 min
OurVoices with Kristin KalbliNavigating a Spouse’s Gender TransitionWriter and performer Julie Feinstein Adams shares her experience navigating both her husband’s sexuality and their gender transition from male to female. She shares how, in a spirit of acceptance and goodwill, she tried to roll with the news that her spouse was bisexual (and wanted to open their marriage), and transgender, until she could no longer stay married. She did her best to be supportive during transition, even going so far as to take her spouse to “have her colors done,” so she could look the part, even as her spouse’s transition was excruciating for Julie. “I was rais...
2020-08-0154 min
OurVoices with Kristin KalbliStaying Married to a Trans SpouseThe first episode of a three-part series featuring non-trans spouses of trans women. Today, Lauren Rowello discusses her experience of her husband’s transition to her wife, working through her initial sense of betrayal, how she navigated the uncertainty around staying versus leaving the marriage in an environment that offers little support for the partners of trans people. She also shares frankly and vulnerably how she and her wife navigated the new landscape of physical intimacy before and during medical transition.
2020-07-1554 min
OurVoices with Kristin KalbliThe Gaslight EffectToday, the author of The Gaslight Effect, Dr. Robin Stern, discusses gaslighting, what it is, how it works, why it’s used as an emotional manipulation tactic, and what its effects are on the target. She illuminates what happens when your sense of reality and sanity are undermined. When an LGBT partner is grappling with their sexuality or gender identity, they may gaslight their straight or non-trans spouses (consciously or unconsciously), if they have not yet come to terms with that sexuality or gender identity. This can have deleterious effects on the straight or non-trans spouse’s emotional and ment...
2020-07-0147 min
OurVoices with Kristin KalbliConscious UncouplingIn 2014, Gwyneth Paltrow took a lot of heat when she referred to her divorce from Chris Martin as a “Conscious Uncoupling.” Today on the show, therapist and straight spouse Janet Jones walks us through the steps of how to consciously uncouple ourselves, energetically, emotionally and psychologically, from an ex-spouse, even years after a divorce is final. Today is an invitation to complete the work of separation and divorce within ourselves, regardless of whether or not we have the cooperation of a partner or ex-partner
2020-06-1550 min
OurVoices with Kristin KalbliA Trauma Surgeon on The Trauma of Relationship BetrayalDr. Joseph Ibrahim was the Trauma Director at an Orlando hospital during the Pulse Nightclub shooting when 49 LGBT people were murdered, and over 50 injured. After 40 hours straight in the OR, he came home and told his wife, “I don’t know why anyone would want to harm these people, they aren’t hurting anyone.” A month later, he learned his wife was having an affair with a woman. He shares what it was like his marriage and his home life fell apart even while his professional career as a nationally renowned Trauma Director took off in the wake of the shoo...
2020-06-0149 min
OurVoices with Kristin KalbliThe Latter-Day Lesbian EpisodeToday, guest Shelly Johnson shares her story of coming out as a lesbian at age 43. Growing up in a deeply Mormon family, Shelly believed her role as a woman was to get married, have lots of kids, and take care of her family. When that guaranteed formula for happiness failed her, she began to question what she was taught. After she realized that “God doesn’t hate gay people,” which is what she had always been taught, she started finding herself attracted to women. This lead to her realization around her sexuality, and then it lead to leaving the church...
2020-05-1553 min
OurVoices with Kristin KalbliWhat is Sexual Fluidity?Today on the show, psychology and gender studies professor Dr. Lisa Diamond shares her research into sexual fluidity and same sex attraction. She has studied how same sex attraction, primarily in women, ebbs and flows over the course of women’s lives, and how that attraction influences sexual identity. We learn what sexual fluidity is, what it isn’t, and why sexual identity (and the sexual attractions those identities are based on) are so variable in women. And we learn what happens when reported sexual identity and actual genital response don’t align. “Most people base their [sexual] identity on what...
2020-05-0144 min
OurVoices with Kristin KalbliThe Friends and Family Episode: How to Support the Straight Spouse in Your LifeToday on the show, SSN’s own Tiffany Butler discusses how the friends and family of straight spouses can support them post discovery and disclosure. She discusses what to say, what not to say, and how to hold space for a loved one who has discovered their partner is LGBT. She clears up myths and assumptions people make about straight spouses (no, they do not always know), and she gives us explanations for why a straight spouse’s post-discovery trajectory might not mesh with what family and friends think it should be. “There’s no road map for this,” she says...
2020-04-161h 04
OurVoices with Kristin KalbliThe Grief Episode: Why We Can’t Just Get Over It?Have you ever been told to just “get over it already?” Today on the show, grief counselor and thanatologist Claudia Coenen talks to us about complex grief (grief that is clouded by ambiguous circumstances and takes longer to resolve) and disenfranchised grief (when our grief is publicly minimized or de-legitimized). Straight spouses often experience disenfranchised grief when there is pressure to be “over it”, or when anger at an LGBT spouse is not seen as politically correct. “There is this external pressure from the outside world, from society, from what people consider to be the norms…that there’s some sort of t...
2020-04-0144 min
OurVoices with Kristin KalbliIs My Husband Gay, Straight or Bi? with Dr. Joe KortToday on the show, marriage and sex therapist Dr. Joe Kort discusses whether or not straight men can want gay sex, a controversial position among straight spouses. When a wife discovers her husband’s gay porn, explicit chats with other men, of evidence of infidelity, she rightfully asks if her husband is actually straight. We dive into the nuances of straight men who, for myriad reasons, might seek sexual contact with other men. Dr. Kort gives his assessment for determining if men who are troubled by their same sex interest are gay, straight or bi, and advice for women co...
2020-03-1548 min
OurVoices with Kristin KalbliParental Alienation and Co-Parenting with a Difficult ExToday on the show, expert and researcher Dr. Amy Baker discusses parental alienation, what it is, what it isn’t, who it affects, and how it affects them. She lists some of the 17 behaviors that taken together constitute parental alienation so we can identify it early. She gives us tips and strategies for parenting children who show signs of alienation, and for handling the emotional fallout from this type of abuse.
2020-03-0348 min
OurVoices with Kristin KalbliWhen a Husband is AsexualIn today’s episode, guest Jeannie Burnett talks about realizing her husband of 25 years is asexual. For years Jeannie tried to find answers to her sexless marriage. Sex was “mechanical and cold,” she says. “I tried to fix myself all those years, and nothing worked.” After an emotional breakdown and the reckoning that it had been 10 years since she and her husband had last been intimate, Jeannie researched until she found her answer and her explanation: her husband was asexual. On this show we discuss what asexuality is and isn’t’, how Jeannie found support, and how she is rebuild...
2020-02-1547 min
OurVoices with Kristin KalbliGrowing Up with a Trans ParentGuest Emma Bryn’s childhood was overshadowed by her father’s gender transition. By age 12, she had developed a severe eating disorder to cope. “For me, it was like my father had died,” she says. To acknowledge that loss would cast a negative shadow over her father’s transition, so her grief wasn’t permitted. “What was expected of me was absolute, 100% compliance. I couldn’t show any negative emotions at all.” Accidentally calling her parent “Daddy” provoked a violent and traumatic rebuke that still haunts her. “My language was policed so much.” She notes that for many children of gender tr...
2020-02-0144 min
Graying Rainbows Coming Out LGBT+ Later in LifeKristin Kalbli from the Straight Spouses NetworkThis month we have an unusual guest, Kristin Kalbli from the Straight Spouse Network Podcast (now OurPath). Kristin shares her own personal story and introduces us to the Straight Spouse Network, which has actually existed for 30 years. Our conversation gave me an entirely new perspective. No matter where you are in your journey I know you will find this conversation enlightening. Links and References: OutPath (formerly the Straight Spouse Network) Straight Spouse Network Voices Podcast The Lie: A Memoir of Two Marriages, Catfishing & Coming Out Hardcover by William Dameron Announcements: Please complete a brief a...
2019-12-021h 03
OurVoices with Kristin KalbliHoliday Survival Guide with SSN Executive Director, Kelly HollimanToday on the show, Executive Director of the Straight Spouse Network Kelly Holliman walks us through strategies and tips for getting through the upcoming holidays post discovery or disclosure that a spouse is LGBT. We talk about creating space for yourself when you need it, establishing new traditions with the kids, and yes, canceling Christmas. Because sometimes, you just can’t even! Kelly also shares her own story of becoming a straight spouse, including when she realized what her relationship was modeling for her children. “That became really important to me that my children were going...
2019-11-3059 min
OurVoices with Kristin KalbliA Conversation with Author and Straight Spouse Kristin Levine on her YA Novel, The Jigsaw Jungle, About a Tween Girl Who Discovers Her Father is GayIn today’s episode, Kristin Levine shares her own story of becoming a straight spouse, and how that experience inspired the events in her YA novel, The Jigsaw Jungle, in which a twelve year old girl named Claudia is left clues by her father in a series of jigsaw puzzles as to why he abruptly left the family. Claudia slowly discovers that her father is gay in an intriguing and sometimes maddening process that mirrors the puzzle mixed orientation families solve when they piece together that a loved one is LGBT. When Kristin’s own marriage ran into...
2019-11-1551 min
OurVoices with Kristin KalbliAn interview with Kelly Wilkins on Her Life as a Beard and her Unapologetic Truth TellingIn today’s episode, Kelly talks about the rise and fall of her marriage to a closeted gay man, being used as what she calls his “ambulatory homophobia meat-shield,” and sitting in her office on their first anniversary crying because her husband would not have sex with her. “I remember thinking, this isn’t how this is supposed to be.” She lays out, in stark detail, the psychological warfare, gaslighting and script flipping she was subjected to until the very end, when the truth finally came out. “He would tell me, ‘Maybe I would want to have sex with you more if you...
2019-11-0157 min
OurVoices with Kristin KalbliAn Interview with Michelle Sandoval On the Impacts of Closets on Family MembersMichelle shares her story of growing up with two closeted parents, how the family secrets impacted her sense of reality growing up, how she learned manipulation from watching her parents lie and hide to coverup, and how she grew up attracted to closeted men and men who were unable to connect with her emotionally. Learning the truth at age 51 finally gave her access to her own agency and enabled her to end her search for her truth. Speaking about her childhood Michelle said, “I always knew that something was wrong, and I always knew everything was filled wi...
2019-10-1542 min
OurVoices with Kristin KalbliA Personal Conversation with Dan Cartlidge About His Two Marriages, Both to Gay WomenDan Cartlidge tells the story of his two marriages, both to gay women. As his first wife pursued sexual relationships with women, he shares the toll her lack of desire for him took on his psyche, to the point that he was willing to sacrifice anything, including his sex life, in order to save his marriage. “You just get beaten down slowly, slowly, slowly. Your psyche just gets chipped away. I was having a hard time calling myself a man, I was so beat down, and so afraid to lose everything that I was willing to make some really st...
2019-09-1546 min
OurVoices with Kristin KalbliA Personal Conversation with William Dameron, Author of The Lie: A Memoir of Two Marriages, Catfishing, and Coming OutToday on the show, author William Dameron discusses his book, The Lie, in which he gives an unflinching and self-aware account of the impact his closet had on his wife and family. He shares how his lying to hide his sexuality affected his wife: “I could see what my gaslighting was doing to her, it was making her question her value and her beauty. That’s why it was so important when I realized the collateral damage that was happening that I needed to come clean.” His hope in writing the book, is to spare other people from the pain o...
2019-09-0151 min
OurVoices with Kristin KalbliAn interview Josh and Lolly Weed on the Aftermath of coming out as Mixed Orientation Couple, and Divorcing in the LDS ChurchIn today’s special episode, Josh and Lolly Weed talk about how they entered into a Mixed Orientation Marriage thinking their eyes were wide open, thinking they were living in accordance with their faith. They share what happened when they decided to reveal to their community that Josh is a gay man, how their story went viral and was used by religious communities to shame other lesbian and gay people into straight marriages, how they came to decide they needed to divorce in order to live authentically, and where they are with their faith now. “People in reli...
2019-08-151h 44
OurVoices with Kristin KalbliAn interview with former LDS Church Member Sarah Irish Nicholson on the Impact of the Church on Her Mixed Orientation MarriageToday’s episode is the first in a two-part series on mixed orientation marriage and same sex attraction in the LDS church. Guest Sarah Nicholson shares how her husband’s disclosure that he was a gay man may have led to the end of their marriage, but it was actions taken by the LDS church leaders that rocked her faith and led to the end of Sarah’s participation in the church. Here’s what Sarah realized when her husband came out to her: “I knew that he was a wonderful man, and what I thought I knew about...
2019-08-0146 min
OurVoices with Kristin KalbliSSN Group Leader Candice Fleszar Smith on What Happens When You Call SSNSSN contact and group leader Candice Fleszar Smith talks to us about what happens when people call SSN for support. She supports straight spouses in finding their own way through the post-disclosure/discovery maze, whether they choose separation, divorce, or to stay in a mixed orientation marriage. Candice also supports LGBT people seeking to come out to their spouses. She emphasizes that how the LGBT discloses to the straight spouse matters, and can impact the entire relationship, including relationships with the kids, going forward.
2019-07-1546 min
OurVoices with Kristin KalbliS2 Ep 11: Helen Fitzgibbons and her “Cis-Spouse Bill of Rights”What’s the “right” way to respond when your spouse comes out as transgender? Cis-Spouses often hear plenty of opinions on the matter, especially from people who have not experienced the gender transition of a partner. Family members may pressure the cis-spouse to divorce their transgender spouse and cut ties, even if the cis-spouse wants to maintain the relationship. Conversely, the cis-spouse may hear that they are supposed to stay with their transitioning spouse and “love the person, not the gender,” even if that is at odds with their own sexual orientation and authentic sexual expression. Cis-spouse Helen Fitzgibbons created a...
2019-07-0152 min
OurVoices with Kristin KalbliWhat’s the Difference? Men Who Have Sex with Men vs. Gay with Dr. David MalebrancheOn today’s episode, Dr. David Malebranche returns to discuss the differences between identifying as gay and identifying as MSM, or “men who have sex with men,” and what those identities mean from a research and medical perspective. Is it just a semantics? Is there more to it? We talk about when behavior and identity does not seem to align, the straight spouse is often left confused and desperate for answers. We discuss the cultural stigma associated with various terms and identities that influence whether or not someone choses to identify as gay, MSM, or nothing at all. Pleas...
2019-06-1552 min
OurVoices with Kristin KalbliGetting Your Freak On SAFELY: An STI Primer for Grown-Ups with Dr. David MalebrancheOn today’s episode, we get schooled in all things related to sexually transmitted infections with Dr. David Malebranche, an expert in HIV and STI prevention and treatment, and associate professor of medicine at Morehouse School of Medicine in Atlanta. Many straight spouses (and adults in general) find themselves dating again at mid-life, post-divorce. Navigating the new landscape of sexual health, risk and safety has changed dramatically in the decades since many of us had sex education, if we even got it. Back then, condom use was usually demonstrated by a gym teacher using a tube sock and a ba...
2019-06-0156 min
OurVoices with Kristin KalbliAn Interview with Susan Relic, Administrator of Straight Partners Anonymous UK, On the Impacts of Her Husband’s Denial of his Sexuality On HerThere are many ways to be in denial. Today’s episode features guest Susan Relic. After 35 years of marriage, she discovered her husband was having an affair. At least that’s what she thought at first. Then she dug a little deeper. Her husband’s sexual partners were exclusively pre-operative transgender escorts. Join us for this discussion at the very intersection of gender and sexuality, and what it is like for the wife who was caught in the middle, stumbling in the dark with no answers. In Susan’s own words, on the role heterosexual lovers played in her h...
2019-05-2839 min
OurVoices with Kristin KalbliA Conversation With JL King on His Mission to Raise Awareness about Men Who Have Sex With Men and Life on the Down LowIn 2004, JL King sat on Oprah’s couch and told the world about his life on the down low. As a married man with children, JL exposed his own double life having sex with multiple men in secret. His disclosure rocked the African American community, sparking both gratitude and backlash for exposing the reality behind the façade of his seemingly perfect family life, and the lives of other men in his community. Today, the author of On the Down Low 2is back talking to a new generation about the stigma on gay and bisexual men that still exists in...
2019-05-1530 min
OurVoices with Kristin KalbliA Conversation with GAMMA Member Eric Kearlsey On Being A Closeted Gay HusbandToday, Eric describes his personal journey coming to terms with his homosexuality, his misery over acting out sexually outside of his marriage, his determination to come out to his wife, and how their mixed orientation marriage works today. Eric also shares with us the mission of GAMMA, the Gay and Married Men’s Association, who welcome all men who are married to women, but who are sexually attracted to men, whether they identify as gay or not. Eric describes his own reaction to his sexual encounters with men in the 80’s: “By that time, we were right smack...
2019-04-1542 min
OurVoices with Kristin KalbliAn Interview with Alexis Johnson, Both Daughter and Wife of Closeted MenToday Alexis tells us the story of her father coming out to her, and how that experience both helped and complicated when she discovered her own husband was gay. She talks about the challenge of intimacy in her marriage, and how her ex-husband either avoided or deflected discussions on physical intimacy, leading Alexis to “poke the bear” trying to get to the bottom of their sexual troubles. She shares that her husband labeled her a ‘nymphomaniac’ for desiring healthy and fulfilling sexual relationship, and how that impacted her. In Alexis’s own words: “When my ex came out it was a...
2019-04-0148 min
OurVoices with Kristin KalbliA Personal Conversation with Russ Chapman: The Anger EpisodeToday Russ discusses the dissolution of his marriage after the discovery of a love letter from his wife’s female paramour. Russ is known affectionately among Straight Spouses for the humorous and epic grudge against his ex-wife that he has nursed for over two decades. In this heartwarming episode, he shares how carrying that anger has impacted him, how it has both fueled and hindered him, and he encourages listeners to validate their anger, and then hopefully, release it. In Russ’s own words: “I have not forgiven yet. Me and lies don’t go well together. Anger ca...
2019-03-1534 min
OurVoices with Kristin KalbliS2 Ep3: An Interview with Journalist Barclay Bram and Queer Chinese Filmmaker Fan Popo on China’s Tongqi, Straight Women Married to Closeted Gay MenIt is estimated that there are between 10 and 19 million, that’s right, million, women in China who are unknowingly married to closeted gay men, setting up a pending crisis for these women and their spouses. The cultural pressures that keep China’s LGBT people hidden are very different than the pressures the LGBT community faces in Western cultures. With no specific religious prohibition on homosexuality, China’s LGBT face pressure to enter heteronormative marriages for entirely different reasons, namely a social security system that relies on children taking care of their parents. If LGBT people don’t get married and have...
2019-03-0141 min
OurVoices with Kristin KalbliS2 Ep2: A Personal Conversation with Jill Smokler, the founder of Scary Mommy, on Telling the Kids that Dad is GayIn today’s episode, Scary Mommy founder Jill Smokler discusses coming to terms with her husband Jeff’s sexuality, how isolated she felt when she first learned of his same sex attraction, making the difficult decision to get a divorce after 18 years of marriage, and how they focused on honesty and transparency in telling their three children. She spoke about how painful it was to break the news to the kids that she and her husband would be divorcing. “We tried to focus on how much we loved them and how intact we could be, even when we wer...
2019-02-1540 min
OurVoices with Kristin KalbliS2 Ep1: An Interview with Dina Matos, Former First Lady of the State of New Jersey: Straight Spouse in the Public EyeIn August of 2004, the Governor of the State of New Jersey came out to the world in a press conference as a “Gay American,” and resigned his office. His wife Dina was standing behind him at the podium in a blue suit, her world having been shattered just three days before when her husband privately disclosed to her that he “might be gay,” and that he had to resign because he was being blackmailed for $50 million by his former lover. In this episode, Dina what it was like to experience becoming a straight spouse in such a public fashion, how she...
2019-02-0145 min
OurVoices with Kristin KalbliS1 Ep 16: A Conversation with Mark Soltysik on How to Make a Mixed Orientation Marriage Work.In today’s episode, Mark talks to us about the challenges and benefits of remaining in a mixed orientation marriage, and how to make it work if you choose to stay. He discusses the practical and financial considerations that make remaining in a mixed orientation marriage a workable option, but he stresses the importance of having clear boundaries, finding healthy ways to handle triggers, and finding support for yourself.
2018-12-0132 min
OurVoices with Kristin KalbliS1 Ep 15: An Interview with Aideen Finnola, Life Coach, Speaker, Author, Religious Abuse Survivor, and Straight Spouse.In today’s episode, Aideen discusses how growing up in an extreme Christian cult primed her for marrying a closeted gay man. The intersection of that religious prohibition against homosexuality and her own lack of education and experience with men (as dictated by the purity standards of the community), understandably resulted in her own mixed orientation marriage, which fell apart after years of abuse, gaslighting and denial. In Aideen’s own words: “My religious background set me up for the straight spouse experience. I joke that I was so clueless about gay men that I wouldn’t have kno...
2018-11-1644 min
OurVoices with Kristin KalbliS1 Ep 14: A Checklist for Newbies with Seth Blackman, SSN Board Member and Straight SpouseToday, SSN Board member Seth Blackman goes over a Checklist for Newbies. He provides steps, tips, and advice for how to get through the initial days and months after disclosure/discovery that your spouse is LGBT. He covers getting professional help for depression, trauma, and shock, and guides us around establishing healthy boundaries for ourselves with our spouses. Finally, he gives us tips for self-care, self-compassion, and finding support within a community of people who understand what you are going through. In Seth’s words: “I remember extremely vividly how awful the first few days and weeks and mo...
2018-11-0147 min
OurVoices with Kristin KalbliS1 Ep 13: A Interview with Sara Schulting-Kranz, Life Coach, Grand Canyon Adventure Guide, Sexual Assault Survivor, and Straight Spouse.In today’s episode, I talk to Sara about the discovery of her husband’s 14 years of infidelity with men, her diagnosis of PTSD related to the relationship betrayal in her marriage, which echoed back to her sexual assault as a teen. We talk about how she found her healing and clarity in nature by hiking, running, and paddle boarding. Sara shares how she has used her experience as the fuel for a new career helping others heal from their own trauma. In her own words on the compound trauma of sexual assault combined with relationship betrayal: “I was...
2018-10-1641 min
OurVoices with Kristin KalbliS1 Ep 12: A Personal Conversation with Devon Reese, Ex-Husband of Emily ReeseIn today’s episode, Devon discusses his marriage to Emily Reese, his early knowledge of his homosexuality, his fear and shame around his feelings, as well has his religious beliefs at the time that lead him to compartmentalize his feelings of same sex attraction. His coming out journey has been a journey toward self-actualization, and he speaks about how telling the truth, even when it is painful for both the person telling it and the person hearing it, is critical for growth and healing. Devon and Emily are currently amicably co-parenting their three children through Emily’s final stages of t...
2018-10-0141 min
OurVoices with Kristin KalbliS1 Ep 11: A Personal Conversation with Emily Reese, Straight Spouse, Blogger and Ted-X SpeakerIn today’s episode, Emily Reese discusses how, after several years of marriage, she intuited that her husband was gay, and how they worked through his subsequent revelation to create a modern rainbow family. She also discusses her experience giving a Ted-X talk called The Other Side of the Closet, on the subject of having a spouse come out, an experience she describes as a highlight of her life. Emily’s mission is to be an example of transparency and honesty for others. In her words: “Lean into those things that happen that we see as faults, like n...
2018-09-1542 min
OurVoices with Kristin KalbliS1 Ep 10: A Personal Conversation with Kristin Orr, Cis-wife, and Creator of the One-Woman Show, “Where’s My Parade?”Kristin’s husband came out as a trans-woman before celebrities like Caitlyn Jenner or Laverne Cox put gender transition in the national spotlight. She forged her own path through grief, anger, and finally healing while their mutual friends expressed enthusiastic support for her spouse. A chorus of “You go girl!” and “You are so brave!” were showered on her transitioning partner. Meanwhile, no one reached out to Kristin in her pain as she grieved the gradual loss of her husband before her eyes, prompting her to ask the question, “Where’s my parade?” “There were family photos that we had on the...
2018-09-0143 min
OurVoices with Kristin KalbliS1 Ep 9: A Personal Conversation with Dr. Amity Pierce Buxton, Founder of the Straight Spouse NetworkIn this episode, host Kristin Kalbli interviews the founder of the Straight Spouse Network, Dr. Amity Pierce Buxton, about her personal straight spouse story, the founding of the peer-to-peer support group for straight spouses, and her hopes for building bridges between straight spouses and the LGBT community. In Amity’s own words on her outreach within the LGBT community: “[We are] seeking equality so that these marriages won’t occur in the first place. That no gay or lesbian or bi or transgender person thinks they have to marry someone of the opposite gender just to prove that th...
2018-08-1537 min
OurVoices with Kristin KalbliS1 Ep 8: A Personal Conversation with Dr. Loren A. Olson, Psychiatrist, Gay Father, and Author of Finally Out: Letting Go of Living Straight.In today's episode, host Kristin Kalbli interviews Dr. Loren A. Olson, who came out in his 40’s after a 20 year marriage to his wife. Dr. Olson is currently married to his partner of thirty years, and lives in Iowa. His career and research has focused on working with and supporting other gay men and fathers exiting Mixed Orientation Marriages. Recently, he has begun to reach across the divide and connect with straight spouses with empathy and understanding. In Loren’s own words on reconciliation with his wife: “We decided that we still loved each other, although not in the w...
2018-08-0135 min
OurVoices with Kristin KalbliS1 Ep 7: An Interview with Kimberly Brooks Mazella, Psychotherapist and Straight SpouseIn today's episode, host Kristin Kalbli interviews Kimberly Brooks Mazella, a straight spouse whose career as a psychotherapist has lead to the founding of her non-profit, the Straight Forward Project. Kim discusses the results of her survey research on Straight Spouses, and how her data, which sheds light onto the straight spouse experience, could eventually be used to help straight spouse heal. In Kim’s own words: “A person has to be able to hold two competing truths at the same time: on the one hand it is wonderful that our spouses have come out, and if they’re...
2018-07-1532 min
OurVoices with Kristin KalbliS1 Ep 6: A Personal Conversation with Dru Vincent, Straight SpouseIn today's episode, host Kristin Kalbli interviews Dru Vincent, a straight spouse whose wife of 18 years abruptly asked for a divorce. After being blindsided by the revelation of his wife’s sexuality, and their subsequent divorce, Dru went from being curled in a ball on his brother’s couch, to slowly rebuilding his life. Dru talks about picking up the pieces through financial devastation, depression, thoughts of suicide, and grief. In Dru’s words: “Suicide is always a question. It’s never an answer. I think suicidal thoughts are a respite for the horrific sadness that you are going th...
2018-07-0129 min
OurVoices with Kristin KalbliS1 Ep 5: A Personal Conversation with Maggie Kneip, Author of Now Everyone Will KnowIn today's episode, host Kristin Kalbli interviews Maggie Kneip, a straight spouse whose husband, a high profile journalist in New York City in the early 1990’s, died of AIDS. We talk about her book, Now Everyone Will Know, her experience discovering her husband’s sexuality and his illness, her two decades of silence surrounding her husband’s death, and her efforts to raise awareness about wives whose lives have been impacted by AIDS.
2018-06-1535 min
OurVoices with Kristin KalbliS1 Ep 4: A Personal Conversation with Anastasia Gochnour On Growing Up with a Closeted FatherIn today's episode, host Kristin Kalbli interviews Anastasia Gochnour about her experience growing up with a closeted father who came out to her as a young teenager. She discusses how her father’s closet, his use of her sister as a secret keeper, and how he handled his coming out impacted her at the time, and how it continues to impact her as an adult.
2018-06-0130 min
OurVoices with Kristin KalbliS1 Ep 3: An Interview with Janet McMonagle, Communications Director for the SSNIn today's episode, host Kristin Kalbli interviews Janet McMonagle about her personal straight spouse story, and the challenges and opportunities the SSN encounters in communicating with the media and journalists about the mission of the SSN and the straight spouse experience.
2018-05-1536 min
OurVoices with Kristin KalbliS1 Ep 2: A Personal Conversation with Straight Spouse Paul NelsonIn today's episode, Kristin interviews Paul Nelson about his personal experience discovering his wife was a lesbian while he was deployed in Afghanistan. They discuss disclosure, the complications of custody arrangements, and what helped him heal.
2018-05-1336 min
OurVoices with Kristin KalbliS1 Ep 1: An Interview with Stephanie Skylar, Ex. Dir. of the Straight Spouse NetworkIn today's episode, host Kristin Kalbli interviews Stephanie Skylar about the mission and the scope of the SSN, how to get help in a time of need, and how to offer help to others when you have time to give back.
2018-04-2127 min
Explore New Full Audiobooks in Romance, ModernDazzling: BookShots by James Patterson, Elizabeth HayleyPlease visit https://thebookvoice.com/podcasts/1/audiobook/266497 to listen full audiobooks. Title: Dazzling: BookShots Series: #1 of The Diamond Trilogy Author: James Patterson, Elizabeth Hayley Narrator: Kristin Kalbli Format: Unabridged Audiobook Length: 2 hours 57 minutes Release date: December 15, 2016 Genres: Modern Publisher's Summary: Random House presents the unabridged, downloadable audiobook edition of Dazzling by James Patterson, read by Kristin Kalbli. James Patterson’s BookShots. Short, fast-paced, high-impact entertainment. She’s a starving artist and he’s a billionaire playboy… Siobhan came to New York with a purpose: she wants to become a successful artist. To pay her bills in the meantime, she’s the hostess...
2016-12-1505 min
Download Incredible Full Audiobooks in Romance, ModernRadiant: BookShots by Elizabeth Hayley, James PattersonPlease visit https://thebookvoice.com/podcasts/1/audiobook/280858 to listen full audiobooks. Title: Radiant: BookShots Series: #2 of The Diamond Trilogy Author: Elizabeth Hayley, James Patterson Narrator: Kristin Kalbli Format: Unabridged Audiobook Length: 2 hours 37 minutes Release date: December 15, 2016 Genres: Modern Publisher's Summary: Random House presents the unabridged, downloadable audiobook edition of Radiant by James Patterson, read by Kristin Kalbli. He’s worth millions, but he’s worthless without her. It’s been a month since her traumatic break-up with Derick, and Siobhan now lives in Detroit, where she can support herself and her painting career. But suddenly Derick’s back after flying halfway a...
2016-12-1505 min