Shows
Educated Messes: Mental Health, Relationships, Work, & Well-BeingAsking Rachel Kaplan (Psychotherapist): How Do We Feel Our Feelings?Rachel Kaplan is a licensed psychotherapist and the creator and host of iTunes acclaimed New and Noteworthy podcast The Healing Feeling Sh*t Show. Rachel has spent the last 25+ years studying healing and teaching folks how to collectively reclaim their natural ability to feel their feelings and to develop emotional resilience. Rachel joins Educated Messes to share her personal story of loss that led her down this path, and to walk us through the different steps involved in moving our emotions.
Rachel shares the importance of creating safe containers to access and process our unresolved feelings. We...2022-05-101h 22
Educated Messes: Mental Health, Relationships, Work, & Well-BeingHow Can We Become More Authentic?In part two of our authenticity series, we get real passionate as we explore tools to embrace vulnerability and live a more authentically aligned life. We share that we are done pursuing contentment and are instead moving into our ~big feelings era~. We talk about how choosing authenticity is an act of mini-revolution against the conforms of society and the patriarchy (such light and fun topics).
We remember that while channeling our truest selves might bug some folks, we don’t owe anyone previous versions of ourselves. Ultimately, we decide that given how we’re all just floa...2022-04-061h 08
Educated Messes: Mental Health, Relationships, Work, & Well-BeingWhat Keeps Us From Being Authentic?In part one of our authenticity series, we define what authenticity means to us (“striving to align our actions with our core values and beliefs with the hope of discovering, and then acting in sync with, our true selves.”) and discuss three big barriers that might be preventing us from being our most authentic selves.
We learn how complex of a topic authenticity really is and explore how difficult it can be act in alignment with our values in a society that repeatedly tells us not to love and listen to ourselves.
We share some of o...2022-03-1446 min
Educated Messes: Mental Health, Relationships, Work, & Well-BeingHow Do I Treat Myself Better? (Self-Compassion Pt. II)
In part two of our self compassion series, we learn from the queen of self compassion herself (Dr. Kristen Neff) how we might become more loving, caring, and nurturing towards ourselves as we navigate Big Things in life.
We explore our personal experiences with self esteem, discuss how mindfulness and self compassion are both important parts of meeting difficult experiences with less resistance, and share some tools that can help us strengthen our individual self compassion practices.
Also, Kelsey says “flagellating” and we have a good long laugh in the fact check about Kyla discovering her “...2022-02-2847 min
Educated Messes: Mental Health, Relationships, Work, & Well-BeingWhy Am I So Hard on Myself? (Self Compassion Pt. I)It’s the season of love, so what better time to learn how to treat ourselves a bit more lovingly? In part one of our Self-Compassion Series, we dig into the challenges we personally face in being compassionate towards ourselves. We discuss prompts from Dr. Kristen Neff’s self compassion workbook, examine our own patterns, and start to discuss areas where we could treat ourselves a bit more kindly. We open up about the struggle of wanting to evolve without rejecting who we are right now and noodle on how we might find balance between loving ourselves while also reco...2022-02-1433 min
Educated Messes: Mental Health, Relationships, Work, & Well-BeingCrying in a Good Way
In our first episode back after our 9 month hiatus, we touch on why we left and how we’ve been sorting through what was a pretty intense and difficult time in both of our lives. We reflect on the past year including what we’re proud of, what we learned, and how we think we’ve changed.
We’re excited to be back and can’t wait to reconnect with the Educated Messes community. Follow us on Instagram @educatedmesses if you’d like to be a part of our conversations in future episodes!
Note: Our offer to inc...2022-01-3142 min
Educated Messes: Mental Health, Relationships, Work, & Well-BeingHow Can I Tell If I'm Burnt Out?In this episode, we talk about burnout — a big, scary topic that’s been very front of mind for us lately. It feels like we’ve hit a collective wall, and we thought better understanding burnout might help us start to move past it. We get clear on what burnout looks like, how it shows up, and how to identify when we’re feeling it. We talk about the different types of burnout; pandemic-related, professional, or personal and cover some mechanisms to deal with them.
We get real honest (and heated) about advocating for ourselves at work in a cap...2021-04-081h 07
Educated Messes: Mental Health, Relationships, Work, & Well-BeingAsking Keighty Gallagher: How Do We Find The Courage To Do Big Things?In this episode, we talk to our very first guest— Tight Club founder Keighty Gallagher— about her work, her life, and the story of Tight Club. Keighty was a lifelong athlete, but when her relationship with movement turned toxic it fuelled a passion to help rewrite the language of fitness in a way that centred joy and positivity. Keighty built a business based on community and has remained true to her values and vision through all the different forms Tight Club has taken throughout the years.
We talk to Keighty about leading with vulnerability and humi...2021-03-041h 01
Educated Messes: Mental Health, Relationships, Work, & Well-BeingWhen Does Positivity Become Toxic?
In this episode we explore the concept of toxic positivity and to be honest... it rocks our world. We take a test to see if we are toxically positive, spoiler: we do real bad. We share a TED Talk that helped us understand how we can be there for the people we love without dismissing their feelings. Kelsey opens up about a recent tough experience and how those around her responded, and Kyla shares how ignoring her feelings for too long resulted in an ulcer.
We get uncomfy this episode learning new things and discovering a...2021-02-1857 min
Educated Messes: Mental Health, Relationships, Work, & Well-BeingWhy Does Life Feel like It's at a Standstill?In this episode we explore a potentially touchy topic — feeling like our lives have been at a standstill over the past year. We cover how to check in with yourself to decide if your current vibes are no longer serving you and offer ways to break out of Pandemic Limbo Land.
We check in with the Educated Messes community to find out how we’ve all been feeling lately, reflect on the best things we’ve done for our mental health, and contemplate if it’s important to move forward in our lives and if so.. how...2021-02-181h 08
Educated Messes: Mental Health, Relationships, Work, & Well-BeingWhy is it So Hard to Make Friends?In this episode we explore a hot topic: friendship in your mid-to-late 20s. We cover making them, keeping them, losing them, and how they might change and grow with time. We share our 13 year friendship origin story, consider how hard it is to move from “friendship dating” to “friendship official”, and discuss friendship-related thoughts and feelings shared by the Educated Messes community.
We contemplate whether we’re happy with the number of friends we have, if we think it’s easy or hard to make new friends, and reflect on how our friendship has changed over the past...2021-01-2159 min
Educated Messes: Mental Health, Relationships, Work, & Well-BeingNew Year, Same Us (But Growing)In this episode we get super vulnerable and a little in our feelings as we reflect on 2020 (aka: these trying times). We talk about memories we want to remember from the past year, what we want to let go of, and what we want more of in 2021. We consider the lessons that this year taught us — slow down, focus on connection, and try to trust (and maybe occasionally find joy in) the process.
Kyla learned life lessons in pottery, Kelsey cleansed her feed of “rise and grind” people, and Kyla decided her new mantra is “good enoug...2021-01-071h 20
Educated Messes: Mental Health, Relationships, Work, & Well-BeingWhy Am I Stressed All The Time?In this episode we discuss dealing with stress and emotional exhaustion during 2020. We weigh in on the importance of emotional regulation — which is the ability to align how you’re feeling with how you want to feel — and note that icky feelings are our brain’s natural alarm system. We explore tools and techniques for how we might better process and learn from our emotions, rather than suppressing or ruminating on them.
Kelsey plugs some hot customer service tips, Kyla plugs mindfulness (obviously), and Kelsey claims drinking 7 cups of coffee a day makes you live longer (spoiler alert: not...2020-12-031h 20
Educated Messes: Mental Health, Relationships, Work, & Well-BeingWhy Is Commitment So Scary?In this episode we discuss if committing to something for a long time — whether it’s a relationship or a job — makes us nervous. We dip our toes into Attachment Theory, share our attachment styles, and touch on the anxious-avoidant trap. We contemplate if you need to know yourself before you can love someone else and reflect on how it can be easy to lose yourself in a relationship.
Kelsey has beef with the idea that you should be with someone who challenges you and says she would “walk into the ocean” if someone told her she sho...2020-11-1956 min
Educated Messes: Mental Health, Relationships, Work, & Well-BeingHow Can I Tell If I’m a People-Pleaser?In this episode, we attempt to figure out just how severe our people-pleasing habits really are. We talk through the common behaviours of people-pleasers, including apologizing too often and feeling uncomfortable when people are mad at us. We consider how these habits show up in our work and personal lives and share which areas we believe we have room to grow in.
Kyla reflects on what happened when she thought Kelsey was mad at her, Kelsey divulges how stubborn she is, and we both share our desire for verbal affirmation. We talk about how the patriarchy i...2020-11-051h 13
Educated Messes: Mental Health, Relationships, Work, & Well-BeingStill Looking for Joy in UncertaintyIn this episode, we let out some more messy thoughts around how we’re still looking for joy amidst these uncertain times. We discuss what practices have been anchoring us lately and bravely admit that we don’t really like carving pumpkins. We answer questions submitted by the Educated Messes community, including book recommendations, the “why” behind Educated Messes, and the hardest things we’ve had to overcome this past year.
Kelsey reflects on her hospitalization, Kyla tells the story of how she took stress leave from work, and we both contemplate how much of life is just...2020-10-225h 18
Educated Messes: Mental Health, Relationships, Work, & Well-BeingHow Do We Become More Resilient?In this episode we discuss resilience (and how 2020 is making it real tricky to feel resilient). We define what resilience is and what it isn’t, and learn that there’s much more to being resilient than just “bouncing back”. We explore how to foster resilience in yourself, and give an example of how you might use resilience in practice through acceptance and/or reframing situations. We also touch on the fore core components of resilience — connection, wellness, healthy thinking, and meaning.
Kyla talks about how suppressing her emotions for too long lead to a full on physical a...2020-10-081h 07
Educated Messes: Mental Health, Relationships, Work, & Well-BeingWTF Am I Doing With My Life?In this episode, we discuss the shitshow that is figuring out what to do with your life. We define purpose and passion and talk about how to find yours, and clarify that you’re absolutely allowed to change your mind about what you want. We reflect on how scary it feels to change our minds, but how living in line with our passions can bring new energy to life. Kyla recounts her journey to turn creativity into a career, and Kelsey shares her experience of exiting the banking industry to slang essential oils and build a tight community.
...2020-09-171h 16
Educated Messes: Mental Health, Relationships, Work, & Well-BeingAre “Shoulds” Making Us Unhappy?In this episode we talk about “shoulds” — the voices in our heads that tell us what we should be doing, caring about, or working towards — and how they can get in the way of our happiness. We discuss how they originate from a variety of places, from society and religion to family and peers, and how they show up in the decisions we make in our day-to-day lives. We discuss how to approach these thoughts in a more balanced way and explore some tools to uncover, reframe, and dismantle our shoulds so we can own what we really want in life.2020-09-031h 05
Educated Messes: Mental Health, Relationships, Work, & Well-BeingDo Our Emotions Affect Our Health?In this episode, we dig into the importance of the mind-body (or brain-body) connection. We explore how emotions can show up via psychosomatic symptoms in your physical body and share some of our personal experiences with this type of connection. Kelsey talks about how grief after a difficult breakup showed up in her body as flu-like symptoms and Kyla shares how long periods of high stress turned into a struggle with chronic pain.
We learn that the inability to express one’s feeling might contribute to chronic illnesses, discuss the impacts of high levels of cor...2020-08-2059 min
Educated Messes: Mental Health, Relationships, Work, & Well-BeingFinding Joy in UncertaintyIn this episode we get a bit less structured and a bit more vulnerable. We have a free flowing conversation about how we’ve been managing our mental and physical health during a global pandemic, joy triggers, gratitude practices, and swimming. We touch on our physical and mental health journeys including the huge impact of hormones, the two big diagnoses Kyla’s gotten in the past year, and the serious complications Kelsey faced during a recent dental surgery. We talk about taking an active role in your own healing, both mentally and physically, and how important it is to advo...2020-08-0654 min
Educated Messes: Mental Health, Relationships, Work, & Well-BeingDoes What We Think About Ourselves Matter?In this episode we talk about limiting beliefs — what they are, where they come from, how to recognize yours, and what to do about them. We touch on cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), unhelpful thinking patterns, and why our brains tend to notice and cling to negative things more than positive ones. Kyla gets a sexy sound quality boost and says a lot of words that are really hard to pronounce, Kelsey talks about her desire for control, and Kyla dishes on what she talks about in therapy.
Sources in the show notes at www.educatedmesses.com
2020-07-2458 min
Educated Messes: Mental Health, Relationships, Work, & Well-BeingWhy Are Healthy Boundaries Important?In this episode/ group therapy session we talk all about boundaries, how to set them, how to tell if someone’s crossing one of yours, and how respect your OWN damn boundaries!! Kyla talks about one of her favourite tools (nonviolent communication) Kelsey dishes about some mean-ass DM’s, we bring up our girl Glennon Doyle again, and both try our best to think of descriptors other than “interesting”.
2020-07-1055 min
Educated Messes: Mental Health, Relationships, Work, & Well-BeingWhy Are We So Obsessed With Productivity?In this episode we discuss the pressure we put on ourselves to constantly be creating OUTPUT and we touch on why hinging your worth on external factors is not a great idea. Kyla continues to have so. many. mantras., Kelsey advocates for doing shit for no reason, Kyla finds deep meaning in Animal Crossing and we talk about pottery AGAIN.
Note: Because every month in 2020 feels like an entire new year has gone by, we feel the need to note that we recorded this episode back in May (before we re-recorded Episode 01). At that time th...2020-06-251h 12
Educated Messes: Mental Health, Relationships, Work, & Well-BeingWhy Is It so Hard to Try New Things?In our first full length episode we discuss why there’s so much weight behind “failing”, and what does it even mean to fail, anyway? Kyla discusses her Big Failure of 2019, Kelsey talks about why she pretended she didn’t know how to ride a bike, and we try (and fail) to remember so. many. quotes. Come along with us as we both find a lot of things Very Interesting.
2020-06-121h 06
Educated Messes: Mental Health, Relationships, Work, & Well-BeingIntro: Short, Sweet, & SexyIn this short, sweet, and sexy episode, we introduce ourselves and fill you in on what you can expect from Educated Messes (aka: 2020 mid-20s crisis content). Kyla kills it at ice breakers, Kelsey admits she doesn’t know how to cry, and we both agree that nothing ever makes sense at all.
2020-05-2705 min