Shows
Adoption Wise#245: The Science of Caring with Dr. Jon Baylin and Jessica Sinarski
We often get questions about whether teachers or other folks who interact with our kids can have blocked care. Or what about siblings? Also, can you have blocked care towards a spouse? Since we weren’t the first ones to name blocked care, we went to the source. We are thrilled to bring you this conversation with Dr. Jonathan Baylin, author of Brain-Based Parenting and other works, and Jessica Sinarski of BraveBrains. Besides digging deeper in the science of caregiving, we also talk about the differences between primary and secondary blocked care and blocked compassion.
Dr. Ba...2024-05-2841 minAdoption Wise#244 When Blocked Care Affects Your Marriage
Marriage is already hard, but add in parenting children with significant needs and blocked care, and staying married may seem impossible. In this episode, Lisa and Melissa answer two listener questions about marriage and blocked care with personal stories and practical tips. If you’re not married, you’ll still find insights you can apply to your close relationships with folks who love your family.
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links
FREE Blocked Care Assessment
Dr. Sue Johnson (Emotionally Focused Therapy)
Books...2024-05-1435 minAdoption Wise#243: The Power of Community when Reclaiming Compassion with Kayla North
We believe that overcoming blocked care is best in community. In this episode, we explore the power of community and compassion in the journey of foster care and adoption. Kayla North generously shares her experiences of blocked care and how support, self-care, and practical strategies can lead to resilience and healing. They also talk about how mom’s found hope through attending Reclaim Compassion book clubs last summer.
Ryan and Kayla North are a dynamic husband-and wife duo who have dedicated their careers to helping adults create environments where children feel safe, welcome, and loved. Through th...2024-04-3042 minAdoption Wise#242: How a Child’s Mental Health Impacts the Family with Amber Reynolds
Lisa and Amber Reynolds (our Director of Communications) chat about the challenges of parenting a young child struggling with mental illness. Amber shares candidly about what she wishes she had done differently, how her son’s mental illness affected her health, and how she’s overcoming blocked care. As an Enneagram 8, Amber loves advocating well for all those in her care. She and her husband, Chris, have been foster parents for seven years and have three children through adoption.
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links
Conne...2024-04-1646 minAdoption Wise#241: [workshop] What Shapes You: Unlocking Your Family System for Hope
Generally, what we carry into our childhoods and throughout our adulthood is part of a wider series, even patterns, of behavior, traumas, and worldviews. In this workshop, Dr. Stoker will give a very brief overview of Family Systems theory. You will learn:
highlights for Family Systems theory
a narrative that will assist you in seeing systems more objectively
tools to heal and offer hope for those with whom you live and serve
Dr. Andy Stoker (he/him) is married to Megan, and they are parents to two sons, Alex (20) and Wesley (15). Andy is an ordained United...2024-04-021h 00Adoption Wise#240: Tangible Ideas for Processing Grief
Foster care and adoption are full of ambiguous losses and disenfranchised grief. In this episode, Lisa and Melissa discuss the gap between expectations and reality which can lead to feelings of grief. They offer tangible practices, including writing, verbal processing, and bodywork. The importance of acknowledging and processing darker emotions such as sadness, anger, or resentment without judgment is emphasized. Lastly, they mention adapting these practices for children experiencing similar grief and loss.
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links
Reclaim Compassion: The Adoptive Parent’s Guid...2024-03-1928 minAdoption Wise#239: Fostering Children of Incarcerated Moms with Rebekah Cook
Rebekah Cook shares her experiences of fostering children of incarcerated moms through a ministry called Jonah’s Journey. She emphasizes the importance of establishing a relationship with the biological parents and discusses the unique challenges and rewards of this type of foster care. Rebekah also touches on her struggle with blocked care and how she sought support and healing.
Rebekah is a stay at home mom and former elementary school teacher who is passionate about loving and serving vulnerable moms in her community. She and her husband, Josh, are parents to 7 kids through birth, adoption and fo...2024-03-0540 minAdoption Wise#238: Finding Life-Giving Connection
One of the signs of blocked care is isolation. In this episode, Lisa and Melissa chat about the importance of building supportive communities in virtual and real-life spaces. They recommend parents seek out and engage in safe, validating communities where they can discuss their challenges openly. All parents need to fill up their “relationship bucket” in order to maintain compassionate parenting.
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links
Join Reclaim Compassion
Join our free Facebook group
House of Eve* by Sadeqa Johnson
...2024-02-2025 minAdoption Wise#237: [mailbag] PDA, teen borderline personality disorder, despair
This week we answer listener questions such as:
What resources would you recommend for Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA)?
Do you have any wisdom to share about parenting a teenager with borderline personality disorder?
What if things don’t get better?
Click here to download the transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links
PDA Masterclass
Melissa’s Ted Talk on Redefining Success
The Gap and the Gain Podcast
2024-02-0625 minAdoption Wise#236: [workshop] Supporting Kids with FASD Part 2 with Sandra Flach
Many adoptive and foster parents wonder if their child may have FASD or they have a diagnosis but aren’t sure what to do next. Last time Sandra explored the impact of prenatal exposure to alcohol on a developing baby and identify the primary, secondary, and tertiary symptoms of FASD. This week in Part 2, you will learn practical techniques for accommodating and supporting children with FASD.
Sandra Flach is a mom of 8 children, 5 through adoption—2 diagnosed with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. She encourages and equips foster and adoptive parents through her weekly Adoption & Foster Care Journey Podcast and...2024-01-2327 minAdoption Wise#233: Maintaining Compassion as a Kinship Provider with Nakole WooleyKinship care, the full-time care of a child by relatives, comes with many added relationship dynamics and complexities. In this episode Nakole Wooley shares how they navigate the challenges of kinship care, and the importance of overcommunication and compassion in the process.
Nakole and her husband, Brandon, have been married 15 years. They are raising six kids including three who joined their family through kinship care. She is a military veteran and a licensed master social worker in Missouri. She and Brandon are also Cultivate Connection Facilitators.
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links
Blocked Care 101
Reclaim C...2023-11-2834 minAdoption Wise#232: Navigating Blocked Care When Your Community is WatchingIn this episode Angela Coston, the executive director of For the Sake of One, shares her journey as an adoptive and foster mom. She candidly discusses her experiences and challenges in parenting children with complex needs while being a community leader. Angela explains how being able to name blocked care helped her shed the shame that she was abnormal or a bad parent. She shares practical strategies that helped her overcome blocked care and highlights the importance of setting boundaries and taking time for nervous system care to maintain resilience. Through her personal experiences and growth, Angela offers hope to...2023-11-1434 minAdoption Wise#230: Blocked Care 101Is your adoption journey turning out differently than you imagined? You had so much love to give, but now you feel ashamed and bewildered by your lack of compassion.
You may be experiencing blocked care—a self-protective mechanism in your nervous system that makes it difficult to connect with your child and maintain compassion. When it happens, it’s like your heart seems to have left the relationship.
In this episode, we identify the ten signs of blocked care and how to overcome them. It is never too late to reclaim compassion for yourself and your kids!
Click here to downlo...2023-10-1722 minAdoption Wise#229: Honoring the Mystery in Adoption Stories with Suzanne StabileEvery adoptee walks through life dealing with the loss of at least their first family, and each one will experience that loss with a different lens. This week, Suzanne Stabile joins Lisa and Melissa for a rich conversation about adoption, the Enneagram, mystery, and curiosity. Suzanne shares vulnerably about how she's dealing with the "adoption-shaped hole" in her life.
As an internationally recognized Enneagram Master, Suzanne has conducted over 500 Enneagram workshops over the past 30 years. She's the author of The Road Back to You, The Path Between Us, and The Journey Toward Wholeness. When she is not on the road...2023-10-0351 minAdoption Wise#226: Navigating the Emotions of Special Needs Parenting with Amy J. BrownJoin Lisa as she talks with Amy J. Brown about the journey of parenting children with special needs. We talk about the moment she realized her children's challenges were going to change her life and family forever. We talk honestly about guilt and shame as adoptive moms, blocked care, and a practical exercise for moving from guilt to acceptance.
Amy J. Brown is a writer, mentor, and co-host of the podcast, Take Heart. She is the author of the book The Other Side Of Special: Navigating the Messy, Emotional, and Joy-Filled Life of a Special Needs Mom. Amy has a...2023-08-2241 minAdoption Wise#225: [workshop] Using the TBRI® Nurture Group as a Family with Tristen McGheeIt's easy to get bogged down in big behaviors and forget to have positive interactions with your kids. TBRI® Nurture Groups provide a positive, attachment-rich environment that is imperative to helping your child increase their sense of felt safety while connecting and learning new skills for life.
In this workshop, you will learn:
importance of Nurture Groups
six aspects of a Nurture Group
how to implement the components into your family
Tristen McGhee is a certified Trust Based Relational Intervention (TBRI®) Practitioner, adoptive mom, foster/adoptive parent trainer, as well as a trauma-wise parent coach. She has extensive experience working wi...2023-08-0829 minAdoption Wise#224: [Summer Swap] Finding Connection Through Your Adoption JourneyWe often have opportunities to be guests on other podcasts, and we've had some great conversations. We'd hate for you to miss them. Because we're taking the month of July off from recording new episodes, we thought it would be the perfect time to share some of those interviews with you right here on our podcast.
We couldn’t be happier to share this conversation with Melissa Corkum & Lisa Qualls of The Adoption Connection. We have long respected the work these two remarkable women are doing in the world. They are some of our favorite voices, offering hope and encouragement, to...2023-07-2538 minAdoption Wise#223: [Summer Swap] Our Enneagram and Blocked Care JourneyWe often have opportunities to be guests on other podcasts, and we've had some great conversations. We'd hate for you to miss them. Because we're taking the month of July off from recording new episodes, we thought it would be the perfect time to share some of those interviews with you right here on our podcast.
The authors of Reclaim Compassion and hosts of The Adoption Connection podcast, Melissa Corkum (Enneagram 7) and Lisa C. Qualls (Enneagram 3) join Suzanne Stabile and Joel on the Journey.
Parenting is HARD
Working together as a 3 and a 7 and how they related differently to feelings
...2023-07-111h 04Adoption Wise#222: [Summer Swap] Healing from Blocked CareWe often have opportunities to be guests on other podcasts, and we've had some great conversations. We'd hate for you to miss them. Because we're taking the month of July off from recording new episodes, we thought it would be the perfect time to share some of those interviews with you right here on our podcast.
Blocked Care is language identified by Jon Baylin & Dan Hughes which describes the experience whereby:
Overwhelming stress in a parent’s nervous system can create this subconscious, not on purpose, self-protective mechanism that makes it so that some of the parts of our brain an...2023-06-2758 minAdoption Wise#221: Questions to Ask YourselfOur "What We Learned in 2022" episode got such great feedback that we decided to drop in with a mid-year reflections conversation.
We spontaneously answered the questions:
What did you discover in the first half of the year?
Share something that's on your mind right now.
What is one thing you would like to learn this summer?
These make great journal prompts or conversation starters with a friend. How would you answer them?
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links
Reclaim Compassion: The Adoptive Parent's Guide to Overcoming Blocked Care with Neuroscience and Faith* by Lisa C. Qu...2023-06-1338 minAdoption Wise#218: [mailbag] connection with adult children, older child adoption, hugs and attachmentThis week we answer listener questions such as:
How do I give "yesses" to an adult child to strengthen connection?
Is younger child adoption easier than older child adoption?
Can you explain why my child begs for hugs and then rejects them?
Click here to download the transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links
The Connected Parent* by Dr. Karyn Purvis and Lisa C. Qualls
Join Reclaim Compassion
*This is an affiliate link2023-05-0234 minAdoption Wise#210: Exploring How Your Past Impacts Your ParentingAs Dr. Karyn Purvis famously said, "You cannot lead a child to a place of healing if you do not know the way yourself." Making sense of our histories is essential to helping our children heal. In today's episode, Lisa reads portions of Chapter 2 of The Connected Parent, the book she co-authored with Dr. Karyn Purvis.
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links
The Connected Parent* by Purvis and Qualls
Join Reclaim Compassion
*This is an affiliate link2023-01-3118 minAdoption Wise#203: Adoption as a Single MomListen in as Lisa talks with two single moms about their experiences of becoming adoptive parents. Susan chose international adoption. Britani became an adoptive mom through a kinship care foster placement. They speak candidly about the blessings and challenges of being a single adoptive mom and where they find the support they need.
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links
Holiday Survival Resources
The Village (use code podcast)2022-11-2944 minAdoption Wise#202: Simple Ways to Increase Self-Esteem in Students with Learning Differences with Melissa CorkumNo one likes to fail. But kids with learning differences feel like they’re failing a lot. They always feel like they’re running to catch up with their same-aged peers. Over time, they’re self-esteem sinks lower and lower. Kids with learning differences are painfully aware of the gap between them and their peers. They may struggle socially as a well as academically.
As parents, it’s hard to watch our kids struggle with shame and low self-esteem. We want them to walk with their heads held high and know they can contribute to the world.
Keep these tips in mind...2022-11-1509 minAdoption Wise#200 Finding Successful Post-Adoption SupportDo you feel isolated or alone in your parenting journey? Do you have trouble connecting with other parents because they don't seem to understand your life? We're celebrating our 200th episode with some friends from The Village, our monthly membership community. They share why they joined and why they stay. They share diversity in how they came to adoption (including kinship) and in their experiences (a dad, a single mom, etc.), but they all agree that there's power in community. They also share some sweet words of encouragement as we close, so make sure to listen to the end!
Click h...2022-11-0145 minAdoption Wise#198: Staying Connected to Your Spouse When You’re Grieving Differently with Lisa QuallsWhen your adoption journey is different than what you expected, there are a lot of ambiguous losses to grieve. Every parent will process and experience grief individually and on their own timeline. This week, Lisa shares five ways to hold onto your marriage, even if grief seems to be tearing you apart.
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links
#119: Prioritizing Your Marriage as Adoptive Parents with Currey and JJ Blandford
#195: [workshop] Maintaining a Strong Marriage When Parenting Is Hard
Join The Village (use the code: podcast)2022-10-1811 minAdoption Wise#197: Staying Curious About the Adoptee Experience with Jennifer Dyan GhostonEvery adoptee experiences their story through a unique lens. This week we welcome adoptee, Jennifer Dyan Ghoston, who hosts the podcast series Once Upon a Time in Adopteeland. Jennifer and Melissa recorded a conversation to be aired on both of their podcasts where they both explore their stories using the wisdom of the Enneagram. Jennifer is a firm believer that storytelling is healing for both the listener and the storyteller. Jennifer has also shared her story in her memoir The Truth So Far…a detective’s journey to reunite with her birth family*, and in Jean Strauss’s film documentary A Simp...2022-10-1147 minAdoption Wise#195: [workshop] Maintaining a Strong Marriage When Parenting Is HardPatrick and Melissa have two kids by birth, four through adoption, and a live-in granddaughter. They’ve weathered adopting out of birth order, child on parent violence, out-of-home placement, PTSD, and becoming grandparents in their thirties. In this episode, they’ll talk candidly about the secret to maintaining a strong marriage when parenting (and life) is hard.
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links
#144: How do I find a skilled babysitter for my challenging kids?
Join The Village (use the code: podcast)2022-09-2741 minAdoption Wise#194: Weird But Effective Ways to Stop a Tantrum with Melissa CorkumNo parent enjoys a tantrum. Kids don’t either. It never feels good to have such big feelings that they come out in crying, yelling, kicking, stomping, throwing, or whatever else makes up a meltdown for your child. Over the years, we’ve gathered a bag of tricks. It’s important to have many options up your sleeve because there’s a good chance something will only work once in a while and never twice in a row.
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links
#26: What To Do When Your Child is Out of Control with Robyn Gobb...2022-09-2011 minAdoption Wise#193: Living a Love-Stretched Life with Jillana GobleSaying "yes" to fostering kids often stretches us in ways we never imagined. Jillana Goble is an author, advocate, non-profit founder, and—with her husband, Luke—parent of five children ranging in to age from pre-teen to adult. With honesty, faith and a dose of humor, her debut memoir, A Love-Stretched Life, chronicles what she’s continually learning on the suspension bridge. This week, Jillana joins Lisa to talk about grief, unexpected twists, and blessings during her journey.
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links
Jillana's Website
Connect with Jillana on Instagram
Connect with Jillana on Facebook...2022-09-1336 minAdoption Wise#190 Keeping Hope AliveIs your experience of parenting children with early trauma turning out the way you expected? Or is it vastly different from what you imagined? If you are experiencing a gap between what you imagined and your reality and feeling discouraged, you are not alone. In this episode, Lisa shares seven things to help you keep your hope alive.
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links
Join the Village (use code podcast)2022-08-2312 minAdoption Wise#185: [Summer Swap] Real-life Strategies for Building Trust and AttachmentWe often have opportunities to be guests on other podcasts, and we've had some great conversations. We'd hate for you to miss them. Because we're taking the month of July off from recording new episodes, we thought it would be the perfect time to share some of those interviews with you right here on our podcast.
Last summer, Lisa sat down with Chris, Kayla, and Ryan of the Empowered Parent Podcast to talk about her book, The Connected Parent. They talk about the writing process with Dr. Karyn Purvis and how this book complements The Connected Child.
Click here to...2022-07-191h 03Adoption Wise#184: [Summer Swap] Redefining Success in Adoptive ParentingWe often have opportunities to be guests on other podcasts, and we've had some great conversations. We'd hate for you to miss them. Because we're taking the month of July off from recording new episodes, we thought it would be the perfect time to share some of those interviews with you right here on our podcast.
This week, we're replaying a conversation Melissa had with Nick and Whitney Runyon of The Archibald Project. They talk about how every adoptee experiences their story differently and what happens when your child needs a higher level of care than you can provide.
Click...2022-07-1244 minAdoption Wise#183: [Summer Swap] Following God Into The HardWe often have opportunities to be guests on other podcasts, and we've had some great conversations. We'd hate for you to miss them. Because we're taking the month of July off from recording new episodes, we thought it would be the perfect time to share some of those interviews with you right here on our podcast.
This week, we're replaying a conversation Lisa had with Jamie Finn (@realmompodcast and @fosterthefamilyblog) about fostering a teen, jumping from 7 to 11 children, when adoption gets hard, residential treatment centers, and what it looks like to engage with God through it all.
Click here to d...2022-07-0547 minAdoption Wise#180: Mistakes You Might Be Making When Giving Consequences with Melissa CorkumThe worst feeling in the world is feeling powerless against our kids’ challenging behaviors. In an effort to regain control, we often threaten, yell, and assign ineffective consequences. This week, Melissa talks about the top five mistakes parents make when using consequences.
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links
Join The Village (use code: podcast)2022-06-1410 minAdoption Wise#177: Attachment and Connection for Overwhelmed Parents with Lisa QuallsEven if you have a large family or a very busy life, finding time to connect with our kids and build strong attachment is imperative. Lisa shares simple tips for building attachment and connection that you can fit into your already full life.
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links
Join the Village (use code podcast)2022-05-2408 minAdoption Wise#169: Putting Our Hope in God When Parenting is Hard with Lisa QuallsHave you ever felt like your adoption journey shipwrecked your life? How do you find hope when you can hold your head above water?
This week, Lisa shares how God carried her family safely to shore. He gave them a new lens through which to view their kids and a whole new way of parenting.
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links
Lisa's blog
The Connected Parent* by Lisa Qualls and Dr. Karyn Purvis
*This is an affiliate link2022-03-2912 minAdoption Wise#164: Rebuilding After a Hard Season with Melissa CorkumAdoptive and foster families often find themselves barely functioning and just trying to survive when caring for children with hard behaviors. For a lot of families, trauma has left a trail of devastation not unlike Nehemiah found when he returned to Jerusalem. But just like the temple was rebuilt, we can rebuild our hearts and our families.
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links
Faith, Hope, & Connection: A 30-Day Devotional for Adoptive and Foster Parents*
*This is an affiliate link2022-02-1507 minAdoption Wise#154: Live Q&A with birth mom, Lisa QuallsLast month in The Village, we hosted "Ask Lisa Anything About Being an Birth Mom." Listen in as we chatted about how to navigate birth parent relationships with our kids.
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.2021-11-1648 minAdoption Wise#153: Live Q&A with adoptee, Melissa CorkumLast month in The Village, we hosted "Ask Melissa Anything About Being an Adoptee." Listen in to the conversation as she answers questions about privacy, raging as a child, and more.
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links
Squid Game on Netflix
#109: Adoptee Reflections with Shelby and Veronica
Do All Adoptees Think the Same? YouTube Video
What Happened to You?* by Dr. Bruce Perry and Oprah Winfrey
*This is an affiliate link2021-11-0939 minAdoption Wise#151: Brainspotting for Adoptive Families with Brooke Randolph, LMHCAs adoptive parents ourselves, we're always looking for tools and therapies that may help our children heal. This week Lisa sat down with therapist and author, Brooke Randolph, to talk about Brainspotting. This gentle, therapeutic technique can help children process and heal from trauma even if they are unable to speak about it. It can also help parents process the stress of parenting children with high needs.
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links
Brooke's website
Connect with Brooke on Facebook
Connect with Brooke on Instagram
Connect with Brooke on Twitter
Brainspotting with Children and Adolescents* by...2021-10-2643 minAdoption WiseThe Podcast Goes on Summer Vacation!The podcast is on summer vacation for the month of July.
We invite you to join us in our free Facebook community and to scroll back to past episodes you may have missed.
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Top 5 Most Popular Episodes
#87: The Impact of Prenatal Trauma on Children with Stacey Gagnon
#61: A Transracial Adoptee’s Thoughts on Growing Up Black in a White Family
#40: Parenting Kids with FASDs and Invisible Disabilities Successfully with Eileen Devine
#94: Resetting the Nervous System for Felt Safety
#88: The Connected Parent by Dr. Karyn Purvis and Lisa Qualls2021-07-0608 minAdoption Wise#138: Dad Connection with Ryan NorthDad Connection: Join us this month as we hear from foster and adoptive dads.
Ryan and his wife Kayla have 6 children. They spent 10 years as foster parents and learned many of the things they share with families, churches, and schools just being a family. He is the co-founder of One Big Happy Home and is considered an expert on childhood trauma and its impacts. Listen in as Ryan shares about how God brought them to adoption and his journey from traditional parenting to connected parenting.
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links
One Big Happy Home Webs...2021-06-2938 minAdoption Wise#127: Processing Trauma through EMDR with Laura TaylorIf you're heard the acronym EMDR and wondered what it's all about, you're going to love this episode. Lisa interviewed Laura Taylor who is an EMDRIA Certified Therapist. We talk about what EMDR is, how it works, and who it can help. Laura finds EMDR therapy to be very helpful for clients with attachment wounds as well as many other types of traumatic issues and distressing life experiences.
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links
The Body Keeps the Score* by Bessel van der Kolk
EMDRIA website (top right has a tab Find An EMDR Therapist)
Pa...2021-04-1350 minAdoption Wise#125: Why You Should Play Games with Your Kids with Jack Berkenstock Jr., MHSCONTENT DISCLOSURE: Melissa and Jack talk about some mature topics during this interview. It may not be suitable for younger ears.
At the end of this episode, your mind will be racing with endless ways you can start incorporating gaming into your family. Jack Berkenstock, Jr., MHS is a master's level therapist passionate about the benefits of tabletop gaming for development and growth in essential skills for children, especially those who have experience trauma. He shares why gaming is such an effective therapy modality along with tons of practical suggestions.
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Li...2021-03-2355 minAdoption Wise#124: [Mentor Moment] How can the Enneagram help adoptive parents?Mentor Moments give you a chance to join the conversation as we answer a listener question. These episodes guarantee we're providing the most helpful tools and resources for exactly where you are.
This week's question is:
How can the Enneagram help adoptive parents?
Share your experience and advice in our private Facebook group or ask your own question for a future episode. Click here to join.
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links
The Road Back To You by Cron and Stabile*
#24: My 2 Parts in the Triad: Melissa’s Story of Being an Adoptee and Adoptive Mom
Li...2021-03-1613 minAdoption Wise#119: Prioritizing Your Marriage as Adoptive Parents with Currey and JJ BlandfordParenting children with histories of early adversity can be really hard on a marriage. Today Lisa is talking with Currey and JJ Blandford about how to intentionally stay connected in the midst of it all. Currey and JJ are adoptive parents, he is a pastor and she is a therapist. and they lend their knowledge to this conversation.
We talk about everything from finding a good therapist to creating small spaces of time to connect. We even talk about observing the Sabbath as a day of rest and connection.
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links
Ep...2021-02-0954 minAdoption Wise#113 [Mentor Moment] What is the most memorable gift you’ve received?As we wrap up 2020, Lisa and Melissa reflect on the highlights for The Adoption Connection. We also asked you to tell us about your most memorable gifts. They ranged from comical to heartwarming. This is a fun listen while you prep for the holidays.
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links
Exploring Grief, Trauma, and Rejection with the Enneagram2020-12-1515 minAdoption Wise#112: Finding Hope as a Birth Mother with Hope O BakerAt twenty-one years old, Hope O Baker made one of the hardest decisions a person can make: she placed her son for adoption. Afterwards, she struggled with depression, addiction, and overcoming the stigma that surrounds birth mothers. This week, Melissa talks to Hope about some of the unusual parts of her story and about Hope's memoir, Finding Hope: A birthmother's journey into the light.
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links:
Hope's Website
Connect with Hope on Instagram
Finding Hope: A birthmother's journey into the light* by Hope O Baker
#23: My 2 Parts in the Triad -Lisa’s St...2020-12-0847 minAdoption Wise#111: Equine Therapy for Children with Early Adversity with Rebecca BrittJoin us as Rebecca Britt, the founder of Stable Moments, she shares her story of growth as a young adoption caseworker and her later development of a unique equine therapy program. This conversation is fascinating for those of us who want to understand more about our children's fear responses. Children can be mentored to learn new awareness of themselves and skills for relating to others - both horses and human.
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links
Stable Moments Website
Stable Moment on Instagram
#30: How Horses Can Help Kids Heal
Melissa and Lisa on Rebecca's Podcast
Fa...2020-12-0141 minAdoption Wise#109: Adoptee Reflections with Shelby and VeronicaWhat if adoptees could tell you about their adoption experience with unedited honesty? Two adoptees came together to create Rooted in Adoption: A Collection of Adoptee Reflections. Shelby Kilgore was born in Korea and adopted by a white couple just before she turned one. Veronica was born in New Orleans, Louisiana, through the closed adoption system. Melissa sat down with them to chat about their stories and how the project came to be. They also chat about the importance of open health records for all adoptees.
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links
Rooted in Adoption Web...2020-11-1046 minAdoption Wise#107: Helping Children Understand Their Big Feelings with author, Jessica SinarskiDo you have a child who quickly moves to the fear responses of fight, flight, or freeze? In this episode Lisa interviews Jessica Sinarski, a trauma-informed adoption therapist and the author of Riley the Brave: The Little Cub with Big Feelings. You'll love hearing about how her book helps children and their caregivers recognize these fear responses as courageous ways of coping in hard circumstances.
As Riley, the little cub, embarks on a journey to overcome his fears, he learns that sometimes, being tough or loud isn't the bravest thing to be - sometimes it's asking for help, or being...2020-10-2742 minAdoption Wise#105 A Birth Mother’s Story of Adoption Reunion with Adrian CollinsIf you love adoption stories like we do, you won't want to miss this one. Adrian Collins shares her story of giving birth as a young college student and placing her daughter for adoption. Years later she readopted her daughter as an adult. Add to this that Adrian is an adoptive mom, and this all adds up to a fascinating conversation.
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links:
Adrian's website
Connect with Adrian on Facebook
#23: My 2 Parts in the Triad -Lisa’s Story of Being a Birthmom and Adoptive Mom2020-10-1346 minAdoption Wise#101: Creating Adoption-Sensitive Classrooms with Joelle BrobergMany teachers don't understand how tricky some traditional assignments are for adopted or foster children. The family tree project is a perfect example. Additionally, transactional behavior management systems, like rewards charts and traffic lights, are problematic because they don't take our kids' histories and past trauma into account. Joelle Broberg is both a veteran educator and adoptive mom who understands both sides. She sat down with Melissa to talk about how parents can best work with teachers and the new CEU course she's created for teachers so they can create adoption-sensitive classrooms.
Click here to download the transcript for this ep...2020-09-1537 minAdoption Wise#100: Surprise Guest Hosts and a Celebratory GiveawayIt's time to celebrate! This is the 100th episode of The Adoption Connection podcast! We've worked hard to show up consistently with great content for our listeners. Honestly, producing the podcast gives us joy and we're happy to know it's serving you well.
To celebrate we have two guest co-hosts, Claire Qualls, Lisa's 17-year-old daughter, and PJ Corkum, Melissa's 17-year-old son. We're also giving away tons of great gifts so you can join in our happiness.
Don't miss this fun episode!
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Visit Our Sponsors!
Click here to enter the giveaway via...2020-09-0134 minAdoption Wise#99: Finding the Silver lining in Your Child’s Challenging BehaviorsHave you ever stopped to appreciate your child's challenging behaviors? It's not our first inclination either, but Lynne Jackson, co-found of Connected Families, is often heard telling parents that our kids will use their strengths, not their weaknesses, to get what they want.
This week, Melissa chats with Chad Hayenga and Anna Braasch of Connected Families, to find out more about how we can find and appreciate the gifts gone awry in our children's misbehaviors.
Click here to download a copy of the transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links:
Connected Families Website
Connected Families on Facebook
Connected Families on Instagram
...2020-08-2540 minAdoption Wise#96: Race and Adoption PanelRace and adoption. Two issues with many layers of complexity. This week we're replaying a conversation we hosted in our Facebook group with Derek Hamer (transracial adoptee), Ligia Cushman (transracial adoptive parent and adoption professional), and Melissa Corkum (transracial adoptee and transracial adoptive parent). We tackled questions like, "How do we educate our kids without inducing fear," and, "What is the future for transracial adoption?"
Click here to download a copy of the transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links:
Ligia's Blog
Connect with Ligia on Instagram
Melissa's Website
Connect with Melissa on Instagram
Connect with Derek on Instagram
A Conversation...2020-08-041h 09Adoption Wise#91: Ethical Orphan Care and Adoption with Whitney RunyonWhen Whitney and Nick Runyon put together her photography skills and his ability to travel on a budget as an airline pilot, a beautiful organization was born. The Archibald Project uses stories to educate people in all the ways to care for orphaned and vulnerable children. Melissa chats with Whitney about how her and Nick navigated their adoption, their whirlwind romance, and how others around the world are caring for their vulnerable children right in their community.
Relevant Links:
Connect with Whitney on Instagram
The Archibald Project's Website
Before We Were Yours: A Novel by Lisa Wingate*
*This is an...2020-06-3033 minAdoption Wise#88: The Connected Parent by Dr. Karyn Purvis and Lisa QuallsParenting under the best of circumstances can be difficult. And raising children who have come to your home from “hard places,” who have their own set of unique needs, brings even more challenges. You may have discovered that the techniques that worked with your birth children are not working with your adopted or foster child.
On July 7, the last written work of renowned child-development expert Dr. Karyn Purvis releases into the world. The Connected Parent:
Real-Life Strategies for Building Trust and Attachment was co-authored by our own Lisa Qualls.
This week she shares how the book came to be and what...2020-06-0931 minAdoption Wise#82: Helping Our Kids Process Loss and Disappointment During the QuarantineOur kids are struggling with disappointment over things that have been lost due to quarantine - track season, dance recitals, and prom, for example. Lisa's daughter, Claire, is finishing her senior year of high school without a graduation ceremony. Today we're talking about recognizing grief and supporting our kids.
Additionally in this episode, we talk honestly about grief surrounding foster care and adoption through the lens of Elisabeth Kubler-Ross's Five Stages of Grief, plus an additional sixth stage.
Links Relevant to this episode:
5 Stage of Grief
Episode 20: The Bitter and Sweet of Foster Care Reunification with Jamie Finn
Episode 31: 7 Ways...2020-04-2842 minAdoption Wise[Refresh Rewind] A Transracial Adoptee’s Thoughts on Growing Up Black in a White Family with Derek HamerIf you could have a candid conversation with a transracially adopted young black man, what would you want to ask him?
This is the question we asked members of our Facebook group prior to Lisa's interview with Derek Hamer. He shares his story with vulnerability that helps us see through his eyes.
Relevant Resources and Links:
Waking Up White: and Finding Myself in the Story of Race* by Debby Irving
The Skin I'm In* by Sharon Flake
No One Ever Asked* by Katie Ganshert
The Color of Us* by Karen Katz
Why are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in...2020-03-031h 05Adoption Wise#71: Creating Daily Practices for Strong Family Relationships with Beth GuckenbergerSometimes you have a guest who can speak to so many topics, you don't know where to start. Lisa had the privilege of interviewing author, speaker, and minstry leader, Beth Guckenberger.
Beth shares wisdom and a unique perspective on marriage for all parents, especially those with demanding schedules and/or parenting kids with unique needs.
Relevant Links:
Join the Compassion Challenge
Some of Beth's books:
Start with Amen: How I Learned to Surrender by Keeping the End in Mind*
Reckless Faith | A 40 Day Journey to Saying Yes *
Tales of the Not Forgotten*
Connect with Beth on her website.
Connect with B...2020-02-0445 minAdoption Wise#67: An Unexpected Open Adoption with Tonya DixonWhat would you do if your young child asked you to find her birth father? Our guest today experienced that exact situation when her young daughter told her she wanted to see her birth father.
The relationship with her daughter's birth mom had already evolved from being nearly closed to completely open. But this was a big step.
Listen as Tonya shares her story of listening, trusting God, and putting her child's needs above her personal comfort.
Books Tonya Recommends:
In Their Own Voices*
In Their Parents’ Voices*
In Their Siblings’ Voices*
All By Rita Simon and Rhonda Roorda*
The Open...2020-01-0743 minAdoption Wise[Winter Rewind] Giving Voice to SiblingsIf your family is a blend of kids by birth and adoption/foster care, or if you had an established family created by adoption and then added new children from “hard places,” don’t miss this interview with Lisa’s daughter, Annarose.
How do siblings in the family feel, and what do they experience, when you add children to the family through adoption or foster care? What if the new children come with lots of challenges?
In this episode, Lisa interviews her daughter and middle child of eleven, Annarose, about the challenges and blessings of being a sister to kids through...2019-12-2434 minAdoption Wise#64: Finding Adoption Support In Your Church with Jen DeckerMany adoptive and foster parents feel supported by their churches before bringing new children into the family and in the early months following placement. As the needs grow enthusiasm seems to wane and parents are left feeling isolated and in need of help.
In today's episode, Lisa interviews Jen Decker, who runs a thriving ministry for adoptive and foster parents at her church in Kansas City, Missouri. We discuss how parents can seek support and how churches can meet those needs.
Relevant Resources and Links:
Connect with Jen
Re: Conference
Live the Promise
Promise 686
Article: "Walk a Mile in Baby's...2019-12-0353 minAdoption Wise#61: A Transracial Adoptee’s Thoughts on Growing Up Black in a White FamilyIf you could have a candid conversation with a transracially adopted young black man, what would you want to ask him?
This is the question we asked members of our Facebook group prior to Lisa's interview with Derek Hamer. He shares his story with vulnerability that helps us see through his eyes.
Relevant Resources and Links:
Waking Up White: and Finding Myself in the Story of Race* by Debby Irving
The Skin I'm In* by Sharon Flake
No One Ever Asked* by Katie Ganshert
The Color of Us* by Karen Katz
Why are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in...2019-11-051h 04Adoption Wise#57: Adoption Reunion Reflections with Sherrie EldridgeIn this week's episode, Lisa chats with Sherrie Eldridge, adult adoptee and author of the best-seller, Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Parents Knew.
With great wisdom and experience, Sherrie Eldridge shares her experience of being an adoptee in the era of closed adoptions and searching for her first family many decades later. We learn about recent first meetings with siblings now in their seventies!
Relevant Resources and Links:
Sherrie's Website
Sherrie on Facebook
Sherrie's grief box presentation
Little Branch Gets Adopted by Sherrie Eldridge*
Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew by Sherrie Eldridge*
*affiliate link2019-10-0845 minAdoption Wise#55: Using Music for Healing with Pam ParryAre you looking for a fresh tool for your parenting toolbox? In this week's episode, Melissa interviews music therapist, Pam Parry. They discuss the power of using music to achieve non-musical goals and healing, especially for children with trauma histories.
Relevant Resources and Links:
Learn more about Music Therapy
#25: Regulating Through Movement and Play with Robyn Gobbel
Join The Adoption Connection Village (doors close on Monday, 9/30 at Midnight PDT)
Try out a free coffee chat on Thursday, 9/26 at 8PM EDT or Monday, 9/30 at 1PM EDT! Click here to RSVP.2019-09-2428 minAdoption Wise#53: Restoring Your Sanity with Jayne SchoolerWhy is self-care important? And who has time for it anyway?
Adoptive and foster moms are often drowning in the needs of their children. We have so many people to care for, we can't begin to take care of ourselves. Can you relate to this?
Today on The Adoption Connection podcast, Jayne Schooler shares some thoughts on seven different types of rest and the importance of implementing them in your life.
Physical
Mental
Spiritual
Emotional
Sensory
Social
Creative
Relevant Resources and Links:
Connect with Jayne on Facebook
Connect with Jayne at Back 2 Back's website
Sacred Rest: Recover Your Life, Renew...2019-09-1035 minAdoption Wise#49: Talking Honestly about Adoption with Mike BerryDo you ever wish you had an experienced adoptive/foster parent available to answer your questions night or day? If you do, you're going to love hearing from Mike Berry about the new book he and his wife, Kristin, wrote.
Honestly Adoption: Answers to 101 Questions about Adoption and Foster Care is being released today, August 6, 2019! Each question is its own chapter so it's easy to find answers right when you need them.
Don't miss this fun and interesting interview as Mike shares their purpose in writing this book and even also tells us a little about the process.
Relevant Resources...2019-08-0635 minAdoption Wise#47: Lessons in Parenting from Adult Adoptee and Adoptive Mom Jeri Lea KrollIf you're anything like us, you love adoption stories, especially when told by different members of the adoption triad.
You'll especially love hearing today's guest, Jeri Lea Kroll, tell her story of being an adoptee and later becoming an adoptive mom. We were captivated. Jeri Lea is also a therapist; you can imagine how rich this interview is.
Don't miss this one if you want to understand the adoptee perspective, and how her experience impacts that way she parents her daughter.
Relevant Resources and Links:
#24: My 2 Parts in the Triad: Melissa’s Story of Being an Adoptee and Adoptive Mom
Je...2019-07-2346 minAdoption Wise#42: Practically Preparing For Your Adoption or Fostering Journey – The 6 most important things you need to doIf you've ever wanted to ask experienced adoptive and foster moms what practical things they would recommend you do before bringing new children into your family, this episode is for you.
If you are in the midst of fostering or adopting, you'll get fresh ideas to help you as you parent and love your kids.
This is the second half of a discussion we began last week about preparing to become foster or adoptive parents.
Last week, we discussed internal preparations: mental, emotional, and spiritual.
Today we're talking about the 6 most important practical things you can do to prepare for...2019-06-1132 minAdoption Wise# 41: Mentally Preparing For Your Adoption or Fostering Journey – The 11 most important things you need to knowIf you've ever wanted to ask experienced adoptive and foster moms what they would recommend you do before bringing new children into your family, this episode is for you.
If you are in the midst of fostering or adopting, you'll get fresh ideas to help you as you parent and love your kids.
Today we're talking about 11 things you can do to prepare mentally, emotionally, and even spiritually for being an adoptive/foster parent.
The 11 Most Important Things You Need to Know
1. Take care of yourself and your marriage.
2. Have realistic expectations.
3. Understand what you can control - and what...2019-06-0440 minAdoption Wise#37: Are video games actually bad for kids?Video games - do you love them or hate them? Do you worry about the influence of gaming on your kids?
In this episode, Melissa and her husband, Patrick, discuss video games and their approach to managing gaming in their family. You may be surprised at some of their thoughts. Can video games teach kids how to solve problems, work as a team, and even help us connect as families?
Relevant Resources and Links:
Reality Is Broken: Why Games Make Us Better and How They Can Change the World by Jane McGonigal
Jane's TedTalk: Gaming Can Make a Better World
...2019-05-0752 minAdoption Wise#34: 10 Habits for Less Anxiety and Better Sleep with Tania MillikenIf you have trouble sleeping or tend to feel anxious and worn down, don't miss this interview with Tania Milliken. She shares ten daily habits to help our families thrive. Some of them may surprise you!
Links Relevant to this episode:
Connect with Tania at her website
Join Tania's Facebook group - Access Ease
Connect with Tania on Instagram @tania.milliken
Episode 25: Regulating Through Movement and Play with Robyn Gobbel
Stop, Breathe & Think (app for mindful breathing)
Yoga with Adriene
Down Dog (yoga app)
Mentor Moments:
This week Lisa and Melissa answer the question:
"I'm looking for ways of helping...2019-04-161h 00Adoption Wise#32: Parenting Perks We Didn’t Know We Needed with Sharon HujikAre you trying to figure out how to juggle parenting your children while also pursuing your dreams? Do you even know what your passions are anymore?
In this episode, Lisa sits down with her friend, Sharon Hujik, to talk about balancing being a mom of kids from "hard places" and a business coach. We discuss the importance of doing something that gives you joy in the midst of intense therapeutic parenting.
Links Relevant to this episode:
Connect with Sharon at her website
Connect with Sharon on Facebook
Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less by Greg McKeown
Faith, Hope, & Connection: A 30...2019-04-0244 minAdoption Wise#30: How Horses Can Help Kids HealImagine a foster or adopted child relating to a horse in a way that actually helps heal his brain.
Learn how equine therapy helps children's brains heal from trauma in this fascinating interview with Reccia Jobe about a trauma-focused equine-assisted psychotherapy, Natural Lifemanship.
Links Relevant to this episode:
Pecan Creek Ranch on Facebook
Pecan Creek Ranch on Instagram
Natural Lifemanship Website
Mentor Moments:
This week Lisa and Melissa answer the question:
"What if a child might say something that would get us investigated?"2019-03-1951 minAdoption Wise#28: Hope for Youth Aging Out of Foster Care with Pam ParishDid you know there are 700 kids who age out of foster care each year just in Georgia? 97% of youth who age out without a significant, stable person in their lives will end up in poverty or worse. 70% of male youth who age out will end up in jail or prison.
There is a solution to these dire statistics. Today's guest, Pam Parish, tells us what that is. She also talks about ways we can support these youth and change their futures.
Pam Parish is the founder of Connections Homes an Atlanta-based organization impacting the lives of young adults who are...2019-02-2642 minAdoption Wise#27: Tips for Getting Chores DoneChores - do you make your kids do them? Is it worth it? What if your child refuses to do his chore?
In this episode, Lisa and Melissa talk about the importance of including our kids in the work of the family, while also being mindful of our kids' needs and abilities.
We talk about how and when our families do chores and how we avoid huge conflicts. Don't miss this practical episode.
Join the discussion about chores in our private Facebook group. Click here to join.
Links Relevant to this episode:
How To Get Your Kids To Do Chores...2019-02-1930 minAdoption Wise#26: What To Do When Your Child is Out of Control with Robyn GobbelPicture this, your child is falling apart, ramping up, and he's totally flipped his lid. Your fear starts to creep up. How do you make him stop?
You've been there, right? So have we.
In this week's episode, Robyn Gobbel helps us understand what is happening in us and our kids during times of dysregulation. Then she offers practical tips to help our children regulate.
Don't miss her explanation about the importance of matching our children's energy in the moment, which is different from being calm.
Links Relevant to this episode:
Robyn on Facebook
Gobbel Counseling Website
Episode 6: Helping Kids P...2019-02-1256 minAdoption Wise#25: Regulating Through Movement and Play with Robyn GobbelWhy is it so hard for our kids to stay calm and regulated? And how can we help them learn how to do it?
Today's guest, Robyn Gobbel, gives us a great explanation of how our kids' brains respond to stressors. She offers us practical ways to help them regulate through movement that is:
Rhythmic
Repetitive
Relational
Somatosensory
Links Relevant to this episode:
Robyn on Facebook
Gobbel Counseling Website
Episode 6: Helping Kids Process Scary Events with Robyn Gobbel
Episode 26: What To Do When Your Child is Out of Control with Robyn Gobbel
The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog b...2019-02-0552 minAdoption Wise#24: My 2 Parts in the Triad: Melissa’s Story of Being an Adoptee and Adoptive MomDo happy adoptees exist? In this episode, Lisa interviews Melissa about her life as a Korean adoptee, what her parents did right, connections to culture, and many other fascinating topics. We also talk about her life as an adoptive mom and how being an adoptee influences her.
Like Lisa, Melissa holds two roles in the adoption triad. She's an adult adoptee and an adoptive mom. Her positive adoption experience contributed to her decision to become an adoptive mom, which has been a much more complex journey.
We hope you love this episode as much as we enjoyed creating it.
Links...2019-01-291h 01Adoption Wise#23: My 2 Parts in the Triad -Lisa’s Story of Being a Birthmom and Adoptive MomHave you ever felt like you're standing in two worlds simultaneously? We're not referring to science fiction, we're talking about holding two of the three roles in the adoption triad.
In this week's episode, Melissa interviews Lisa about being a birth/first mom and an adoptive mom. Lisa talks about her experience of losing her first son to adoption, grief and loss, bitterness, healing and restoration, and how she became the most unlikely adoptive mom.
There's lots of vulnerability in this interview, and quite a few tears (we had to stop recording at least once). It's tender and personal, please...2019-01-2248 minAdoption Wise#22: Winning the Heart of Your Child with Mike BerryDo you ever wonder if you're doing the right thing as a parent? Do you wonder if you're focusing on the right things?
Today's guest is our friend, Mike Berry, who talks about what matters most, the hearts of our children. Their behavior, appearance, successes, and failures are not the core of who they are. We want to reach their hearts and develop relationships that will last a lifetime.
Mike shares great wisdom from his, soon to be released book, Winning the Heart of Your Child: 9 Keys to Building a Positive Lifelong Relationship with Your Kids.
Links Relevant to this...2019-01-1548 minAdoption Wise#20: The Bitter and Sweet of Foster Care Reunification with Jamie Finn"I couldn't do foster care because I'd never be able to give them back."
How many times have you heard this, said this, felt this? There's no doubt, it's so hard to love and care for a child and then return him to his family. And yet...
Lisa sat down with Jamie Finn to talk about the bitter and the sweet of loving children and then letting them go. Jamie shares her journey from viewing herself as the rescuer of children to being a loving support to them and their birth families.
This was a beautiful conversation - we hope...2018-12-1851 minAdoption Wise#19: How to Stay Connected to Kids Not Living at HomeWhat are some great ways to say connected with kids who aren't living at home?
Melissa and Lisa share their experiences of having children leave home for a short time or longer - some happy reasons and some hard.
How do we stay connected when emotions are tough? How do we connect with our big kids when our days are consumed with younger, or simply more demanding, siblings?
We share our best tips in this episode!
Links Relevant to this Episode:
Blog post by Melissa2018-12-1130 minAdoption Wise#18: Intentional Parenting and Trauma-Sensitive Schools with Stacy ManningDo you want your kids living their best lives at home and at school? Our guest, Stacy Manning, believes in that goal.
Stacy adopted from Russia back before we were talking about trauma-informed parenting. She researched and found information on her own, which led her to develop resources and support groups for other parents.
Her newest area of interest is supporting educators and providing them with the knowledge and tools they need to be trauma-sensitive teachers. We loved hearing about that, and we know you will too.
Links Relevant to this episode:
Adoptive & Foster Parenting Facebook Page
Trauma-Sensitive Teachers Facebook...2018-12-0459 minAdoption Wise#16: The Ultimate Shopping Guide for Adoptive FamiliesMelissa and Lisa share some of their favorite gift ideas for the people you love, and a few suggestions for you too in this episode. Maybe you'll find some new ideas here!
We'd love to hear your suggestions. Join the conversation on our private Facebook group.
Babies and Toddlers
Growth chart
Cardboard bricks
Toy kitchen
Preschoolers
PlasmaCar
Strider bike
Homemade Playdoh
Click here for a tried and true recipe.
Add citrus oils for an energizing experience or floral oils for a calming ritual.
Duplos
Gorilla gym
Rice bin with toys - link to a blog post
Early Elementary
Kinetic Sand
...2018-11-2046 minAdoption Wise#14: Joys and Challenges of Fostering and Adopting as a Single Mom with Molly FordToday on The Adoption Connection podcast, Lisa sits down with her friend, Molly Ford, a single foster/adoptive mom. Molly shares her story, the good and hard. We also talk about post-adoption depression and grief that affects many parents in this beautiful and complex journey.
Links Relevant to this episode:
Molly Ford on Facebook
Lisa and Melissa answer this reader question:
My child seems nervous and worried a lot. How can I increase his felt safety?2018-11-0659 minAdoption Wise#12: Lessons from a Seasoned Foster Mom with Tereasa MansfieldBeing a foster parent is rewarding, challenging, joyful and heartbreaking. It takes courage!
Melissa sits down with seasoned foster mom, Tereasa Mansfield. Tereasa shares her fostering journey from how they became foster parents to what they’re doing now. She also talks about how she went from being lonely and overwhelmed to connected to a tribe that came through with the help she needed.
Tereasa is a parent trainer and coach who motivates overwhelmed moms wanting connected relationships with their children. She also educates caregivers and professionals on the effects of toxic stress and trauma, and how healing can begin.
Af...2018-10-2350 minAdoption Wise#11: Hope for Battle-Weary Parents with Pam ParishAdoptive parenting is a tough job. It's even harder when a child is struggling with challenging behaviors—defiance, rejection, running away, drug addiction, sexual misconduct, criminal activity, attachment issues, rage and beyond. Parenting a child in crisis leaves parents worn out from isolation, exhaustion, frustration, and fear.
If you are battle-weary from the day-to-day struggles of parenting a child with difficult behaviors and feel like you want to quit, you will be encouraged by Pam's faith and perseverance with her daughters. She has stubbornly stuck by her girls through multiple crises and shares her wisdom and hope in this episode. The...2018-10-1636 minAdoption Wise#10: Why won’t my kids just go play?!?!Do you feel frustrated when your kids won’t just go play? And what about the bins of Legos and awesome craft supplies? Why won’t they play with them?
Or, do you see playful moms and wish you could be more like them? Lisa and Melissa both do!
In this episode, Lisa interviews Melissa about play. Melissa has done her research and shares great information that will help you view play in new ways. You'll also gain insight into your kids and yourself.
Relevant Resources and Links:
Books (affiliate links):
Play: How it Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and...2018-10-0936 minAdoption Wise#09: Are Newborn Adoptions Easier? (with Rebecca Vahle)A lot of parents check certain boxes looking for a "lower risk" adoption. The thought is that the younger a child comes to you, the "easier" it will be because less has happened to the child.
Sometimes parents of children adopted as newborns do not recognize challenging behaviors as due to trauma. Children often go misdiagnosed or the parents mistakenly think that it's all their fault.
If you adopted an infant or are looking to adopt a newborn, don't miss this interview with Rebecca Vahle.
Rebecca Vahle is the Founder and Director of Training and Curriculum Development for the Family...2018-10-0256 minAdoption Wise#07: Tips for Advocating for Your Child at School with Sandi LermanKids with a history of trauma and adverse experiences often struggle in a traditional learning environment. As parents, it's daunting to know how to best advocate for your student. You may feel like it's you against the school and no one is on your side. This week Sandi Lerman, MA Ed, shares her best tips for helping your child get the free and appropriate education the law requires.
Sandi Lerman is an Education Consultant and the proud Mama Bear of a 17-year old who was adopted at age 10 from Guatemala. Additionally, she is founder of WingBuilder, LCC, providing parent training...2018-09-1849 minAdoption Wise#06: Helping Kids Process Scary Events with Robyn GobbelIf you’ve ever wondered how to help your child process frightening events, don’t miss this great interview with Robyn Gobbel.
Robyn is a therapist whose clinical practice is focused exclusively on working with families of children who have experienced a history of toxic stress and complex trauma.
How should we talk to our kids about scary events in the world? And what if we’re really afraid too? Robyn answers the question, “Should we fake it till you make it?”
She also gives tips for calming ourselves and gives us a great example of how to help kids process tr...2018-09-1147 minAdoption Wise#05: Giving Voice to SiblingsIf your family is a blend of kids by birth and adoption/foster care, or if you had an established family created by adoption and then added new children from “hard places,” don’t miss this interview with Lisa’s daughter, Annarose.
How do siblings in the family feel, and what do they experience, when you add children to the family through adoption or foster care? What if the new children come with lots of challenges?
In this episode, Lisa interviews her daughter and middle child of eleven, Annarose, about the challenges and blessings of being a sister to kids through...2018-09-0444 minAdoption Wise#04: How to Talk to Your Kids About Their StoryMany adoptive and foster parents have questions about how and when to talk with their kids about their stories.
What if your child’s story is really hard? Should you tell them the truth? How old should they be?
Don’t miss this interview with Lisa’s mentor and friend Jayne Schooler. She is an adoptive mom, co-creator (with her husband, David) of Trauma Competent Caregiver training, and author of multiple books related to adoption and foster care.
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Jayne's Books
Wounded Children, Healing Homes: How Traumatized Children Impact Adoptive and Foster Famili...2018-08-2847 minAdoption Wise#03: Tips for a Drama-free MorningMornings can be tough- school mornings can be even tougher. Moms often ask us for strategies to smooth out the morning so we don’t all feel frazzled and defeated by 8 am.
Lisa and Melissa walk through their favorite tips and strategies to help you create a drama-free morning for your family.2018-08-2139 minAdoption Wise#02: A Dad’s Journey to Connected ParentingThe transition from traditional parenting to connected parenting presents challenges for many of us. It looks and feels different from the way we were parented and (if we already have children) the way we're already parenting.
We all experience this transition differently. Today, we hear from a dad who took the plunge into this new way of parenting for the sake of his kids and found himself changed by it.
If you're new to connected parenting, or you and your husband can't quite get on the same page, this interview is for you. If you're a foster or adoptive dad, y...2018-08-1448 minAdoption Wise#01: Sensory Tips for Helping Kids LearnDo you have a child who never stops moving or who refuses to do certain activities? He may actually have trouble processing the information coming from his different senses.
Lisa and Melissa both have sons with unique sensory needs. This can make learning more challenging, and frankly, school is hard enough for some of our kids with early trauma.
We're thrilled to bring you an expert on meeting children's sensory needs in a learning environment.
Don't miss this interview with Noelle Maher. She gives practical tips for helping your child focus and learn by meeting his sensory needs.
How to C...2018-08-0735 min