Shows
Your Purposeful Life with Adrian StarksOvercoming Mental Health Stigma: Insights from Marc Paisant on WellnessSend us a textImagine navigating life's challenges with a sense of purpose, even when the odds seem stacked against you. That's the journey I, Adrian Starks, share in our latest episode of Your Purposeful Life Podcast, alongside the insightful Mark Paisant, host of the Relatively Normal Podcast. Together, we unpack the layers of mental health, emphasizing the need to openly discuss anxiety, stress, and depression with the same ease we discuss a common cold. Our conversation is not just about sharing struggles but also about finding empowerment through vulnerability and intentionality.Marc and I...
2024-11-1330 min
Relatively NormalRelatively Normal - S5 - Ep127 - Please Fix Me with Josie WarrenThis is going to be a little different for most of you. As some of you know, I am the host of another show, the "6AMRun Podcast." That show is not only about running and nutrition, but it also about self-help and lifesfyle. We bring on all kinds of guests and this week I wanted to bring you into that show.
Join 6AMRun.com Ambassador and Host, Marc Paisant, as we welcome Autoimmune expert, Josie Warren, to the show. For much of her young adult life, Josie struggled with autoimmune disorders, severe food allergies, a debilitating eating diso...
2023-02-2750 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S5 - Ep123- Building Together with Dr. Mahsa Hojat-KhoshniyatRelationships are hard.
Or.....do we just make them that way? If you're like me, you will read every book, listen to every TED talk and relate to every meme in an attempt to get your relationship where you want it to be. What if, just for a moment, we did something so extraordinary, so unthinkable and so "out there" that could change your luck in no time at all: what is we communicated?
I know what you're thinking; "Marc, are you freaking crazy????? Talking and expressing our emotions in an empathetic and constructive way is...
2023-02-0142 min
Relatively NormalRelatively Normal - S4 - Ep96 - Find Your Purpose with Dion SpencerMarch is here and that means we are celebrating Women's History Month. To celebrate this, I have asked my friend and colleague, Dion Spencer, to join me on the show to talk about purpose. Dion works very hard in her career but once the office hours are over, she works to assist other women find their purpose in life. When COVID started, she wanted to connect with people like her so she could facilitate emotional and spiritual connections and foster growth. In the journey, she started a FaceBook group, All U Need In A Real Sister-Friend, to give women a ju...
2022-03-0746 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S4 - Ep95 - Mind Your Own D*** BusinessWe currently live in a society where people feel obligated to always speak up. Some people feel like their opinion is always welcomed, always appreciated and always wanted. As most of us know, this is not the case and we may need to teach people the fine art of minding their own business. Now, what does this have to do with mental health and awareness? Well, words matter. Opinions matter. The way we interact with others matter. And the way show and give respect matters. When the people we communicate with always have to protect their own feelings because you can...
2022-02-1436 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S4 - Ep94 - I Did My Own Research with Bret WiegmanOn this week's show, I welcome Licensed Nurse Practitioner, Bret Weigman to the show to speak about the current mental state of the nursing and medical community. As we all know, we have been going through the COVID-19 pandemic for 3 years and it has taken a toll on everyone. One group that has been hit the hardest is the medical community and a lot of that has nothing to do with the actual virus. A lot of the mental toll has to do with misinformation and downright lies by a part of the population who refuse to listen to exp...
2022-02-0747 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S4 - Ep93 - You Have My Attention with Dr. Joseph ElfarSo last week, I started a new medication. I am now taking a daily prescribed dose of Adderall each day for my ADHD, or attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. I had been going back and forth for a long time on when I should broach the subject with my doctor. After having honest conversations with multiple therapists, I took the plunge.
I can't think of a better way to explore this new journey in my life other than bringing Dr. Joseph Elfar back to the show to discuss all things ADHD. He is currently a resident psychiatrist working in th...
2022-01-3150 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S4 - Ep92 - Actions Over Words with Quila PughHappy MLK day to all of you. Dr. King was an amazing man that taught love and peace while trying to move civil rights forward for so many less fortunate people in this country. Unfortunately, many of his teachings have not been followed, especially in corporate America. So many companies will post quotes from the late Civil Rights activist, but their moneys and actions will not follow in the same footsteps. This needs to change.
On this week's show, I welcome Quila Pugh to speak on these specific topics. Quila and I met a few months ago after...
2022-01-1850 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S4 - Ep91 - Let's Talk About SEX with Parisa FrostWhat is one thing that most humans do (multiple times), it gives us a lot of pleasure, some pain, can make or break relationships, and we talk about it the least? SEX. You know: Good, ole' fashion love makin', coitus, canoodling, intercourse, banging, so on and so forth. For an action that has so many words to describe it, we talk about it the least.
Well, this is where Marital and Family Therapist, Parisa Frost comes in. Parisa has worked both internationally and domestically in Buenos Aires and Los Angeles to assist couples and individuals with bringing great...
2022-01-101h 03Relatively NormalRelatively Normal - S4 - Ep90 - The Sports Mentality with Lawton SwannOn this week's show, I welcome my good friend and colleague, Lawton Swann, back to the show. Lawton is the host and creator of Clemson Sports Talk. This week we discuss the mental aspect of playing sports at the highest levels. Being in the media, Lawton gets to interact with college athletes and coaches in a unique way. He sees things that others really don't. Lawton shares his insights on how the pandemic has changed sports over the last 20 months, how coaches have started to focus on the mental health of their athletes and how a coaches job should be fo...
2022-01-0351 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S4 - Ep89 - Run or Don't with Bryan WilliamsTo all of us trying to start something new, it can be a frustrating process. All the emotions and feelings running through our minds can be so rough that we may just decide not to start. On this week's show, I talk to my good friend and fellow Clemson Alum, Bryan Williams about those specific things. As long as I've known Bryan, there have been 2 things that have been quite evident - he was a humble human being and he LOVES music. That is why over a year ago, he started thaempireradio.com to bring the best of old scho...
2021-12-0659 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S4 - Ep88 - Men's Health Awareness with Jon HefflebowerDid you know that November is Men's Health Awareness month? So what better way to celebrate and support this cause than to invite my good friend and colleague, Jon Hefflebower, to discuss his progression to better himself mentally and physically.
The first time Jon was a guest on the #RelativelyNormal Podcast, it became the most listened to episode ever. In this episode, Jon and I speak about why it is so important for men to take a break, put themselves first and start to take care of their mental and physical health. Jon talks about his ongoing...
2021-11-1553 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S4 - Ep87 - Levels of EmpathyHaving and learning empathy can be hard enough but what do we do when we have empathy for some but not for others? For many of us, it is easy to have empathy for people that look like us but not as easy for other groups. Is this a bad thing? Not necessarily, but being in denial about it may be a bad thing. In this episode, I talk about how we can notice this tendency in our everyday life and work to make it a little bit better. I do not, and I repeat, I DO NOT want an...
2021-11-0734 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S4 - Ep86 - It's Cool To Be SadHow many times in your life did you try to convince yourself not to be happy. Probably never. But on the other hand, how many times have we tried to force ourselves to be happy if we're feeling sad and depressed? Why do we do this? We put on this tough exterior and try to say over and over again it's OK just be happy and these feeling will go away. But here's the honest truth: when we hide our feelings, when we mask our emotions, we do more harm than good. We can become distant, we can strain...
2021-10-2538 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S4 - Ep85 - Who Cares?We all care about what others think of us. But when does this start to affect our mental health? Don't get me wrong, knowing what others think of us is a good personal barometer of how we live our lives; however, it should not be the sole reason why we do the things we do or act a certain way. In this episode, I suggest that you ask yourself 2 questions when thinking about the opinions that others have of you:
1. Why does this person's opinion of me matter so much,
and
2. Does my opini...
2021-10-1842 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S4 - Ep84 - Childhood Trauma with Dr. David PfaffWhat we experience in childhood can affect us for the rest of our lives. If that experience includes trauma, the effects can not only be damaging but also long lasting. On this week's show, I invite my good friend, Dr. David Pfaff back on the show. David works daily with patients that have to fight every day to overcome the effects of childhood trauma. From his own words, most of the people that meet him for therapy are victims of some kind of childhood trauma.
While speaking, Dr. Pfaff also introduces the audience to the ACE test whic...
2021-10-0449 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S4 - Ep83 - The Power of Sports with Antoine NobleOn this week's show, I welcome Antoine Noble of We Got Next Sports to talk about his organization and how they are working to change the lives of young people in the New York area. He created this organization to give kids an affordable option to play elite sports. He focuses on low income and high crime areas to make sure that young people get the proper coaching, leadership and mentorship that is needed to become successful adults. His work is so vital to changing the lives of so many young people. Please check out his website and support this...
2021-09-2740 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S4 - Ep82 - A Call From BobbyThis week, I received a few phone calls from some friends just checking in to see how I was doing. One call in particular stuck out as we hadn't spoken in a couple years. It my was from my friend, Bobby, who was just calling to let me know that he appreciated my friendship and wanted me to know. This was such an amazing phone call and I implore everyone to reach out to someone that you may have lost touch with to let them know how much they mean to you.
We all grow up and go o...
2021-09-1430 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S4 - Ep81 - The Uncommon Strength of Black Women with Danese WrightWe all carry around stress. We all have inner demons that we have the hide under the guise that everything is alright. We all have to pick our times to be vulnerable while putting on a strong act around the public. For women, and more specifically black women, the stress and strain that envelops their lives is not only unique but it is harder and heavier than anyone one else's. Most people know the term "Strong Black Woman" and use it like it is a complement. However, do you really know how stressful and mentally exhausting it is to have...
2021-09-0645 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S4 - Ep80 - The Demotion with Kevin ChavisNo one ever wants to hear the words "You're being demoted." Whatever the situation is or the reasoning behind it, those are incredibly tough words. However, many of us hear those words in our professional lives and how we react and respond can go a long way into shaping our future. On this week's show, I welcome a long time friend, former boss and current mentor, Kevin Chavis of Farmers Insurance, to talk about his demotion. Personally, that day was a rough one for me. I cried and it felt like I was losing a friend. Kevin talks openly about...
2021-08-3044 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S4 - Ep79 - Swipe Right with Tim SchroederWhat do I know about dating in 2021? Nothing. Other than the fact that it must be mentally exhausting. Honestly, I wouldn't even know how to meet people, how to strike up a conversation and I am almost certain that my anxiety around the opposite sex that plagued me as a teenager would pop back up in my 40s. And that is why my guest this week is the perfect person to talk to you. Tim Schroeder is a middle-aged, divorced father trying to make sense of the dating game. And, if things weren't hard enough trying to find the ri...
2021-08-2350 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S4 - Ep78 - Men Have Feelings (too)Too many times, as men, we are expected to hold things in. We are expected to always be stoic and a rock that others can depend on. Even though a lot of us try our hardest to be this symbol of strength in our families and communities, it oftentimes leads to burnout, stress, anxiety and depression. Many times, men do not have the tools necessary to express their emotions in an effective way and end up swallowing most of their grief. I am here to tell you - this needs to stop. We all need to understand that men have...
2021-08-1652 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S4 - Ep77 - Great Leaders with Chris WellsI am honored to welcome Chris Wells as my next guest on the Relatively Normal podcast to speak about #leadership. Chris is the Head of North American Claims for Digital Partners, a Munich Re company. A few years back, he took a chance on me and hired me to lead a project in a field that I had limited experienced. That interview and job changed my professional trajectory. Since that moment, Chris has been the perfect mentor for me and even though we don't work at the same company, we still speak often. Every time we speak, I gain...
2021-08-0246 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S4 - Ep76 - The Big C with Matt OdeWelcome back to the show! It's great to be starting season 4 and what a show I have for you. This week, I talk to Matt Ode. Along with being a cancer survivor he is a motivational speaker, a purpose coach and a newly engaged man. At the age of 24, he was diagnosed with cancer just as he was in the best physical shape of his life. Through our discussion, Matt and I talk about the mental side of finding out he had cancer, battling the disease and then working hard through his recovery. Matt's story is amazing and I hope...
2021-07-1945 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S3 - Ep75 - Let's Be Fair with Tahira HayesOn the final show of the season, I have a conversation with the creator and host of the Tall Hungry Girl Talks podcast, Tahira Hayes. I wanted to talk about the inconsistency and unfairness of how we judge successful and talented women who are not married with kids versus how we judge their male counterparts. But, to be honest, this conversation was so much more. We talked about self-worth, the battle to keep fighting when times are tough and how we can all be better friends and allies.
Please visit tallhungrygirl.com to follow and listen to...
2021-06-0745 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S3 - Ep74 - Gay and Christian with Mike MortonIn my ongoing discussion to learn and empathize with different people, I have a conversation this week with Mike Morton, a member of the LGTBQ community and a Christian. Mike and I discuss his life growing up in the church and his life learning about his own sexuality and how he tries everyday to live through Jesus Christ as a gay man. Mike's husband is the pastor of their church and they both understand by just being themselves, they are angering and certain group of people in America. This is such a delightful conversation and I hope everyone has a c...
2021-05-3049 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S3 - Ep73 - To Be Young with Aleah DuttonOn this week's show, I welcome Aleah Dutton, a 20-year-old junior from the University of Central Oklahoma, to the show. On this episode, we have a conversation about the current mental state of the younger generation in present-day America. We can learn a lot from what this generation is doing. They are tackling racial injustice, sexism, homophobia and so much else head-on. They are using their power to move the stock market, change social norms and doing all of this in real time as we all watch it unfold through social media. Aleah does a great job of explaining her...
2021-05-1040 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S3 - Ep72 - Just a Conversation with Jon HefflebowerIf you have never listened to my show, this is a great one to start with. In the past few episodes, I have spoken with an Asian-American, a Black-American, a member of the LGBTQ+ community and a female and asked about their current mental state in present-day America. I hadn't spoken with a white male on this subject, yet. On this show, I do just that. But, what I got was a lot more. Jon and I talked about allyship, growing up in middle-America, raising girls and even religion. We talked about finding purpose and what he does each day to...
2021-04-2649 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S3 - Ep71 - Will This Ever End?I really don't want to keep talking about this but I feel that I must. In the past few days, we have had to deal with the news of this killing of Duante Wright, the police interaction with Lt. Caron Nazario and the final days of the Derek Cauvin trial. Those are just a few of the many high profile run-ins that people of color have had with police that has circulated in the media in the last few days. I am not going to lie to you - this is tough. I am frustrated, scared, exhausted and worried. Eve...
2021-04-1935 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S3 - Ep70 - #StopAsianHate with Allyna NguyenIn the growing divisive atmosphere of this country, it is only right that I have a conversation with a member of the Asian-American community. Unfortunately, during this pandemic, we have seen a growing number of hate crimes against the Asian community due to hateful rhetoric and plain ignorance. Just like I have mentioned for other marginalized groups, I want to be an ally and being an ally means talking and trying to empathize. On this week's show, I talk with Allyna Nguyen, a Vietnamese-American about the current state of affairs in America and what the rest of us can do...
2021-04-0637 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S3 - Ep69 - Is There a Doctor in The House with Dr. Joseph ElfarI do this show because I like to shed light on a topic that is very important to me - Mental Health. However, like I mention all the time, I am not a doctor. It would be unwise and most likely illegal for me to give out any advice to others. That is why, on this episode, I invited an actual doctor to speak with me about mental health and well-being and talk about the reasons he became a psychiatrist. After finally building up the courage to ask Dr. Joseph Elfar if he would be on the show, he agre...
2021-03-2946 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S3 - Ep68 - Let's Grow Together with Dawn HaysGrowth is not easy. That's it. Nothing more to explain. The process of continually improving and growing into a better person takes commitment. It takes honesty. It takes time and effort. On this week's show, I have a conversation with Dawn Hays, Interim CPO at Root Insurance, to discuss what growth and improvement looks likes, how we can measure success and how we can deal with stress and burnout during the process. I appreciate Dawn's honesty about her own personal and professional growth and her openness to share how others can learn from her. I appreciate every aspect of Da...
2021-03-2246 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S3 - Ep67 - The Root of The IssueHave you found yourself struggling to get out of that rut or find happiness in the things you are doing? Some things you may want to consider are finding the root cause of what is causing your pain and if you are finding any personal happiness in the things you are doing. When we search for and find the root cause of our issues, it can be painful but lead to immense healing in our lives. Also, when we start to prioritize our own happiness in the ventures we take, we can learn so much about ourselves. I am here...
2021-03-1531 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S3 - Ep66 - Born This Way with Christina O'LearyI want to be an ally. I want to be an ally to all groups of people that are discriminated against. In my continued effort to do this, I have a chat with a member of the LGBTQ+ community, my friend Christina O'Leary. Christina takes this time to open about her life and what she has gone through since her younger days. She also speaks about what it was like growing up in the Catholic faith and her present relationship with the church. This was such a good discussion and Christina gives some incredible advice and guidance to young peopl...
2021-03-0839 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S3 - Ep65 - Present Day Suffrage with Kelsea WigginsThis week, I sat down and spoke with the incredible and talented Kelsea 🐧 Wiggins, Manager of Digital Marketing at BOLD PENGUIN. We spoke about the current mental state of women in present-day America. To say I was impressed would be an understatement. Kelsea opened up on the struggles of sometimes being the only woman in a room full of men but she also talked about how she strives every day to make this world more inclusive of everyone's thoughts and feelings. Kelsea also talked about the example she wants to set for her son and what the world can loo...
2021-03-0135 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S3 - Ep64 - Black In America with Julian ThompsonWhat is the current mental state of the black man in present-day America? I could say it myself but I would rather have an open and honest discussion with another black man so we can have a conversation that more of us could be having. In this week's show, Julian and I discuss topics ranging from the effects of microaggressions to the ongoing relationship people of color have with law enforcement. When you listen, I hope you have an open heart and an open mind and try your best to empathize with the message. Julian shows his unique perspective on c...
2021-02-2252 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S3 - Ep63 - It's My Body with Kiah TillerIn this week's show, I welcome Kiah Tiller, a body builder and co-owner of K2 Motions Stretch Therapy, to talk to me about body image. As a person that shows her body for subjective judgment, I thought she would be the perfect guest to discuss this topic. Let's be honest, we can't go to a store without seeing a magazine cover exclaiming how to get a "killer body in 2 weeks" or scroll through social media without seeing someone posing with the perfect abs or hair. Trying to live to an unattainable body image goal can be debilitating. My goal for...
2021-02-1530 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S3 - Ep62 - Suicidal Thoughts with Dr. David PfaffIn my second conversation with Dr. David Pfaff, I sit down and have a conversation I have wanted to have for a long time - a conversation about suicide. This is such a tough subject to talk about but it is needed. In short, we need to talk about it and talk about it often. People are struggling and they think they have anywhere to turn for help. It may be a parent, a brother, a co-worker, a neighbor or anyone you come across in your life. Most of the time, we don't realize what power our words have when w...
2021-02-0856 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S3 - Ep61 - Diversity In The Workplace with Evan MillsIf you work in any size company or corporation right now, you have probably heard or been a part of Diversity and Inclusion Training - it's everywhere. And regardless if you believe it is necessary or not, all the data tells us the same thing: more diverse workplaces are better and more productive places of business. But, other than the numbers, how do diverse and/or non diverse places affect the people that work there and the customers that they service? Today, I talk with my first return guest, Evan Mills of Root Insurance, about why he believes diversity i...
2021-01-3131 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S3 - Ep60 - Allow Me To Re-Introduce MyselfThis episode is my first of many on a new platform: Tha Empire Radio. I am really excited about this new service and I cannot wait to reach more people to continue the discussion on mental health and awareness. In this episode, I go back over some of my plans with the show, re-introduce myself and talk to a new audience. I remind people to take time to work on their mental health, work on validating their feelings and start with the person in the mirror. I appreciate everyone who has joined me in this ongoing journey in my life...
2021-01-2636 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S3 - Ep59 - Only One Gina with Gina OnealYou know that person you have in your life? That one person - they are not related to you (but they could be), they are not a co-worker (but you would love to work with them), and they haven't always been in your life (but it feels like they have)? Yeah, that person. Well for me, that authentic, charismatic, joyful, "live your life to the fullest" person is my friend, Gina O'neal. When I started focusing on authenticity and being your true self, she was the first person I thought about. She is an administrator in the Fairfax County scho...
2021-01-1926 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S3 - Ep58 - AuthenticWhat does it mean to be authentic and how can we live an authentic life? For the next few episodes, I will be exploring this topic. In psychology, individuals considered authentic are those who generally strive to align their actions with their core values and beliefs with the hope of discovering, and then acting in sync with, their "true selves." That is a lot and it can be hard. But, I think, living an inauthentic life can be even harder. A few examples would be pretending to be someone we are not to get a promotion or start a rel...
2021-01-0733 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S3 - Ep57 - A Woman's WorthWhat most people already know is that life is hard. What few fail to mention is that life continues to be hard even when the women in our lives make it look easy. My wife was unbelievably stressed out the last few days and I tried my best to remind her that her life is difficult. I did not try to fix her stress or invalidate her feeling - what I DID try to do is help her reframe her thinking so she could see that her best was good enough and sometimes life will beat us up - we...
2020-12-2832 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S3 - Ep56 - No New Year ResolutionThe end of 2020 is upon us and and many of us can't wait for 2021 to start. With that being said, a lot of us are going to make some pretty hefty new year resolutions. I am here to tell you not to - it is totally up to you if you listen. Unnecessary resolutions put unneeded pressure on us and are a recipe for failure. The process to really improve yourself mentally and physically takes time and attention with limites pressure. The holidays are already stressful enough; why force yourself to be more stressed? Take some time after the new y...
2020-12-1830 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S3 - Ep55 - Dear MomThis is the hardest episode I have ever recorded. With the help of my therapist, I have been trying to grieve my mother's death. My mother died 2 years ago after a short and difficult batter with cancer. She was everything to me and my family. She was the glue that kept us all together. I was a mama's boy and proud of it. She and I had some great conversation on everything from my personal life to politics. I probably inherited her anxiety and, looking back, that is probably what made us so close. My therapist advised me that writing...
2020-12-0730 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S3 - Ep54 - Good Music with Skipp WhitmanI have wanted to do this show for a long time and I happy to finally be able to say that I have interviewed a rapper! On today's show, I sit down and talk with Skipp Whitman, a music artist based in LA but originally from Boston. I met Skipp almost 15 years ago while he was performing in Brooklyn, NY. On this episode, Skipp opens up about the mental aspect within a life of music. He talks about how he motivates himself when he doesn't feel like writing or producing, how his new family has affected his aspirations and pr...
2020-11-2226 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S3 - Ep53 - A Perfect ImposterIn this week's episode, I dive into the world of Imposter Syndrome and Perfectionism. For those that suffer from this, you know that all your accomplishments and successes come with a terrifying amount of self-doubt and sabotage. We feel like frauds and all of the positives get shadowed by the impression that we are frauds and it is just a matter of time before others figure this out. I welcome a special guest, Bethany Cluff, to share her experience with Imposter syndrome and how she copes with it every day. Bethany recently gave a presentation on this subject that rec...
2020-11-1544 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S3 - Ep52 - Checking InThis week's show focuses on the act of checking in with ourselves. With everything that is going on in the world right now, we have been told countless times to make sure we check-in with the people around us - loved ones, friends, family members, so on and so on. But, how often are you checking in with yourself? Like I have mentioned in previous episodes, we need to treat ourselves like we are a friend. We need to take the time to note how we feel and why we feel that way. If you are like me and not v...
2020-11-0931 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S3 - Ep51 - Back in that SeatIn the first episode of the 3rd season of Relatively Normal, I make a major announcement - I am back in THERAPY. This was a long time coming and I have been battling some major anxiety and some depression lately. I am really looking forward to more sessions with this new therapist and she has given me some great coping techniques to use when I get into dark places. In today's episode, I go over what I did to find my therapist and explain another part of what I am doing to cope with mental health issues.
Ht...
2020-11-0232 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S2 - Ep50 - When Equality Feels Like OppressionFor the final episode of the 2nd season, I sit down and speak with Devan Michael, owner and creator of the Silent Struggle Podcast. We talk about how, to some, simply the thought of being equal to those less fortunate may feel like oppression. Devan gives us his thoughts on everything from changing the mindsets of those in power to the illusion of black on black crime to how his generation is changing the narrative on fighting back. I hope you go to https://www.thesilentstrugglepodcast.com and take a look at all the great work Devan has done and...
2020-08-2554 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S2 - Ep49 - The Next GenerationOne of the main reasons I do what I do is to inspire and motivate - specifically, the people that come behind me. Even more specific - the young black leaders that will come behind me. On today's episode, I have the pleasure of speaking with one of those bright and upcoming leaders, Evan Mills of Root Insurance. Evan and I talk about what he has done in his life to become a leader, the obstacles that he has overcome and the lessons he has for people who will come behind him. I really love his outlook on life, his...
2020-08-1749 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S2 - Ep48 - Your True SelfWho are you? Not the person you pretend to be on social media or the person you are after a few drinks - seriously, who are you? Have you found your true self and are you comfortable with that person? This week, I talk about finding that true person and being comfortable with them. This process can be difficult if we are uncomfortable with the complements we receive or the people we associate with are not the best people for us to have in our lives. In some cases, we may need to rethink if someone close to us is...
2020-08-1132 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S2 - Ep47 - Can't Put My Finger On ItLately, I have been extremely anxious. I have gone to sleep with thoughts going 100 mph in my brain. I have woken up dreading the day in front of me. In the past, I have been able to pinpoint my triggers and try to cope through them. But at this moment in my life, I can't seem to pinpoint what my triggers are. I know a lot of stuff is going on in the world right now including a pandemic, political turmoil, economic uncertainty and so much more - but like I mentioned in an earlier episode, that is not the s...
2020-08-0532 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S2 - Ep46 - The Biases in All of UsHave you ever met a black man and your first thought was "Wow, he speaks so well?"
Have you ever met a female doctor and felt differently based only on her gender.
Have you ever met an asian person and assumed they were good at math?
If you have ever said or done any of these things, you most likely have a certain implicit bias and used a statement of microaggression. When I was younger, I was constantly teased because of the way I spoke and that lead to my low self-esteem, depression and...
2020-07-2932 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S2 - Ep45 - It Always Comes Back to MeLately, I have dedicated a large portion of my life to helping others. I take time out of my day to set up calls and meetings to make sure those around me are taking care of themselves. I jump on a phone call, I send a text or I shoot a message to anyone and everyone I know that needs a shoulder to lean on and ear to listen. But, unfortunately, I rarely do any of those things for myself. I rarely take time for myself. I rarely jot anything down in my journal. I rarely take 5 minutes to medita...
2020-07-2133 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S2 - Ep44 - The Black Professional with Carl McKinneyThis week I chat with my good friend and coworker, Carl McKinney, about his experiences while being a black professional. He and I have a candid conversation about the struggles of being a black person in corporate America and what we can do to not only bring exposure to this subject but also what we can do to help the next generation of black professionals. Carl and I have not know each other for a long time but in that short amount of time, we have become close and had many personal conversations about current events and happenings in th...
2020-07-1237 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S2 - Ep43 - Buuuuuuuuuuut.........I'm not racist, buuuuuuuut...
We can do everything possible to change our past, hide our history and pretend the past didn't happen the way it did, but that is impossible. In America, we have a checkered past (to say it lightly) that consists of slavery, oppression, segregation and so much more. To make things even worse, we have public statues of slave-owners, segregationist and other men who wanted to keep this country divided. Now, when we try to remedy the past, there is a large group of people that believe when we tear down these terrible figures, som...
2020-07-0631 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S2 - Ep42 - Comfortable With Being UncomfortableWith all that is going on the world at this very moment, so many people are starting to open up to having uncomfortable conversations, being in uncomfortable situations and doing what they can do feel more comfortable in these spots. The good thing about being uncomfortable is that it opens us up to progress. And not just regular progress - being uncomfortable has the ability to allow us to see things from different perspective and break our own biases so we can really start to grow. A major way that we fail before we even start is due to co...
2020-06-2831 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S2 - Ep41 - Black Lives MatterBlack Lives Matter. Do those words upset you? Do you immediately want to respond by saying "no, All Lives Matter." Why? Do you do the same thing when someone says "Blue Lives Matter" or "Teachers Lives Matter" or any other take on the common phrase? The answer is most likely no and therein lies the issue. Before we make any progress in the race for equality, a lot of us need to realize the privilege we live with and how it affects our life and the lives of people around us. I know a few of you might get tu...
2020-06-1731 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S2 - Ep40 - ExhaustedI am tired. I am worn out. I am exhausted. I would say it is because of the last few days but this has been my entire life. As a black man, I have tried to explain why equality and diversity are good things but constantly my voice is muted and my thoughts are invalidated. When a person tries to express themselves but are continually undercut by those who think they know better, this can lead to feelings of depression, low self-worth and just plain exhaustion. But, there is always hope. We must continue to use our voice in a way...
2020-06-0831 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S2 - Ep39 - I Fit The DescriptionThis week, I had to talk about the crisis going on in out country right now. I really had no choice, I am a black man and I needed to get some things off my chest. People are hurt, people are afraid, people are suffering. I have had terrible bouts of anxiety about leaving my house and just going into the world. Will this be the last time I see my family because I may "fit the description?" For many black men, fitting the description is something we have to live with everyday and we rarely, if ever, get just...
2020-06-0131 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S2 - Ep38 - The Pressure We Put On OurselvesI did not feel like making this show. I really didn't. I mean, I wanted to, I just didn't think I had the time and I did not prioritize myself over other things in my life like work and personal responsibilities. But, in the end, I was a friend to myself. I acknowledged my feelings and thoughts and then made time for myself. Recording this show it MY TIME. It is the time I set aside each week to talk about my feelings and decompress after a hard week - and this week was HARD. We should all make sure t...
2020-05-2629 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S2 - Ep37 - Mental Health and Social MediaSocial media is everywhere and we can't avoid it. It is apart of our live and culture. And just like other things that surround us, it can and does affect or mental health. We can become addicted to it and use it as a crutch. On this week's episode, I dive into the ways social media can help us and how it can hurt us. Also, I launched my facebook page and streamed this episode live. You can find it by just typing in "Relatively Normal Podcast" into the search bar.
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2020-05-1730 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S2 - Ep36 - The "WHY" Behind itThis week, someone asked me, genuinely, why I do what I do. Why I talk about mental health? Why I talk about MY mental health and why I do this podcast? It took me back a bit because no one had ever asked me that direct question. I had to think about and I decided to dedicate a show specifically for answering that question. Also, while thinking about talking about why I do something I love, I think we should ask ourselves why we do the things we love. Also, if you didn't notice. the show's cover art has been...
2020-05-1028 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S2 - Ep35 - Baby Blues with Lauren Santomauro DawsonWe always hear of the beautiful parts of pregnancy and childbirth - how life-changing and magical they are. Often, we never hear about the mood swings, irritability, sleepless nights or the anxiety and depression. This needs to change and on this week's show, I am joined by a talented artist, mother, wife and all-around wonderful person, Lauren Santomauro Dawson. She takes us into her world of postpartum depression and how she finally came to grips with it and worked to cope through it. We talk about many things including being open and honest with ourselves and therapy. I cannot thank...
2020-05-0338 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S2- Ep34 - The Magic in the Music with Tom HammondI love music. There's no other way to put it. It doesn't matter if I am working, playing, running or anything in-between, the music is on. A lot of us use music for mental health and to either keep us in a mood or put us in a better mood. This week, I welcome my friend Tom Hammond on to continue a conversation we started about how music affects our mood. If you haven't tried some "music therapy" I suggest you do. It works for me and it could work for you.
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2020-04-2628 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S2 - Ep33 - The Stigma Associated With........ with David PfaffThere is no denying it - there is still a stigma associated with mental health and mental illness. On this week's show, I welcome in Licensed Professional Counselor, Adjunct Professor of Applied Behavioral Studies/Licensed Professional Counseling, and Board Approved LPC Clinical Supervisor, David Pfaff. David helps us to break down why there is a stigma, the history of stigma and what we can do to help alleviate any future stigma associated with mental illness. David works and teaches on the front lines of the mental health profession and gives us his professional and personal take on this important subj...
2020-04-1955 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S2 - Ep32 - Is It Weird to Feel Ok Right Now?In past episodes, I have explained how I have gone through bouts of anxiety and depression during some pretty calm times in my life. It is normal to think that during the coronavirus pandemic, my anxiety would be through the roof. But, to the contrary, lately I have been calm and relaxed. There is a reason for that and I will talk about it this week on my latest episode. A big thing I will mention is that, just like when we are down, we need to validate our positive feelings too. We need to tell our ourselves that it i...
2020-04-1230 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S2 - Ep31 - Friends 4ever with Lawton SwannThis week, I chat with Lawton Swann, owner and host of Clemson Sports Talk on Fox Sports and iHeart Radio. Lawton and I have been friends for over 20 years but it wasn't until recently that I opened up to him about my bouts of depression and constant anxiety. Lawton talks to me about how our friendship has changed through the years, how he wants more people to reach out to their friends in need and other thoughts about mental illness. He also talks about a devastating loss in his life which opened his eyes to how mental illness can af...
2020-04-0538 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S2 - Ep30 - Wasted TimeHow much time do you spend being anxious or nervous about something that may not even happen? How about the time you spend worrying about something that may only take up a few moments of your life? If you are anything like me, you give a lot of your life away being anxious or depressed about an action that may have only taken a few minutes. In this week's show, I talk about how this "wasted" time has affected me in the past, how I am dealing with it in the present and how I hope to improve in the...
2020-03-3031 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S2 - Ep29 - Coping Through COVID-19This is a unique time in our lives. With many of us having to uproot our lives and stay at home during this pandemic, emotions are all over the place. This week I talk of ways I have been coping in hopes to help you while we live through this tough situation. Please take care of yourself and reach out if you need any help. We'll get through this together.
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2020-03-2331 min
Relatively NormalQuarantined while at ROOTToday I discuss some dos and don'ts while working at home during the coronavirus. Enjoy
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2020-03-1818 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S2 - Ep28 - Burnt OutIt isn't uncommon that mental fatigue pops up at the most inopportune times. Most of the time we try to fight through and tell ourselves that it is just part of our everyday process. However, it can take a huge toll on our mental fortitude and we should be honest with ourselves when trying to get too much out of ourselves. This week, I talk about how mental fatigue has played a role in my life and what we can do to cope a little bit better.
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2020-03-1631 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S2 - Ep27 - Trying is Good EnoughA phrase thrown around a lot is "trying is not good enough." For years I believed this and would tell others. However, I have finally come to the realization that nothing can be accomplished without trying especially with mental health. Once we stop trying, things can go horribly bad. Whatever you do, keep fighting. keep trying - anything and everything you can to cope with your mental health issues.
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2020-03-0928 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - S2 - Episode 26 - TodayWhat makes today special? The sun coming out? the birds singing? Your best friend calling you? What about the fact that you are here, living it. Some days are hard, some days are harder. The simple fact that you are here, we are here, makes all the difference. We cannot get through the hard times without living them. Keep placing yourself at the center of your day and make sure you are at least here to live it!
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2020-03-0230 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - Ep25 - Season 1 Wrap UpThe first season of Relatively Normal has been a blast. Thank you for riding with me through this journey. As I look back on the first 25 episodes, I want to take the time to thank all those in my life that have been apart of this and say that we still have a long way to go. I will be back with new episodes in the Spring of 2020. Have a great holiday!
www.derricklawoffice.com
clemsonsportstalk.com
www.youtube.com/user/WTMNandCO
https://www.complex.com/sports/2018/02/demar-derozan-talks-depression
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2019-12-1033 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - Ep24 - Gratitude's Evil TwinToo often, when people come to us at their most vulnerable times, we tell them just to be grateful for what they have. You didn't get that promotion? Well, just be happy you have a job. Boyfriend broke up with you? Well, be happy for the time you had with him. These responses possibly aren't just mean, they can really do a lot of harm to someone with a mental health issue. Statements like this invalidate thoughts, make people think their feelings are meaningless and most of the time force people to keep their feeling bottled up. To help allev...
2019-11-2529 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - Ep23 - Rain, Rain, Go AwayThe last few days have been tough. I always think that I am totally cured of my anxiety and depression but that it never the case. I have to keep reminding myself that this is something I have to live with. And that means, I have to deal with it everyday. Sometimes, I feel so guilty for feeling this way because I am blessed more than a lot of people in this world. That is what make mental illness so tough to live with. I hope you can understand my frustrations and if you feel the same way, I hope...
2019-11-2029 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - Ep22 - Black HoleWe need to talk about race. Especially black men and mental health. As a black male that has struggled most of my life, I have seen firsthand how black men tend not to talk about mental health, go to therapy or seek any medical attention due to the stigma the community has about black men expressing their feelings. For generations, black men have been told that showing emotion in anyway is a sign of weakness and we have to be strong all the time for the people around us. As we start to lift the stigma associated with mental illn...
2019-11-0534 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - Ep21 - Good GriefAt many points in our lives, we will have go through some type of grief. It could be the death of a loved one, an unfortunate event or just a decision that doesn't go our way. Whichever it is, there is no rule book that tells you the right and wrong way to grieve. For most of my life, I have kept constant pressure on myself to grieve in a way that I would not inconvenience those around me. If someone close to me was grieving with me, I made sure not to grieve at the same time so I co...
2019-10-2838 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - Ep20 - We're All CrazyDo we control our thoughts or do our thoughts control us? That is a THE question. After a conversation I had with a close friend, we both admitted that those thoughts inside our head have a funny way of feeding us incorrect information. This week, I discuss how I have taken control of my thoughts and started to understand how to filter the messages that I get from them. I know it is difficult, but with time and work, we can all learn to weed out the negative thoughts from the productive ones.
http://travisrobertson.com/personal-development/con...
2019-10-2132 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - Ep19 - Religiously Anxious with Andy HeckIn this 2nd installment of my conversation with Andy Heck, we talk about our upbringing in the Catholic faith and how some of my anxiety stemmed from it. We talk about our perception of Christianity today and how it can affect the mental state of a young person growing up through all the rituals. Andy speaks honestly about his beliefs and how they have changed over time and I speak about my constant struggle with religion and how specific points in my past lead me to distrust my own feelings and almost lead me away from the my faith....
2019-10-161h 25Relatively NormalRelatively Normal - Ep18 - Friends 'Til The End with Andy HeckOn this week's episode, I sit down for the first of two episodes with my former college teammate and roommate, Andy Heck. Andy and I have been really close friends since we met as freshman at Clemson and we are just now having our first discussion on mental health. This is the first time I have had a guest on the show and the first time I have had an honest an open discussion about my mental health with anyone other than my wife or therapist. I hope this provides an example of the discussions we could be having wit...
2019-10-0738 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - Ep17 - Teaching Mental HealthSimple question: Why don't we teach young people about mental health and wellness? Whether you are a teacher, a coach, a mentor or a parent, we teach our kids so many life lessons but don't do the same for their mental health. Some programs and states have started to do more to help with youth mental health but we are not even close to where we need to be. With increasing rates of anxiety, depression and suicide in kids under 18 years of age, we need to make sure we are doing everything we can to assist the youth.
S...
2019-10-0435 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - Ep16 - Masking The Real IssueWhen I got in shape and lost some weight, I figured by curing my physical health issues, my mental health issues would just follow suit. That was not the case. I had to stop masking my mental fight and take it on separately of other issues. Once I was able to get the help I needed for my mental health, I was able to notice that I had been masking my true journey.
Also, I mentioned a few articles and good friend in this episode. Please click the links to learn more
https://www.menshealth.com...
2019-09-3037 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - Ep15 - ControlControl means a lot to many people. Without it, they feel anxious and riddled with thoughts of what could happen. In all actuality, we only control a small amount of things in our lives but most of of our worry and anxiety is focused on those things. This week, I discuss how control (or lack thereof) has affected my mental health and what I am doing to cope.
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2019-09-2341 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - Ep14 - The Perfection ComplexAlways striving for an unattainable goal is exhausting and a waste of time. For those laced with anxiety, we don't expect perfection out of those around us, but we beat ourselves up when we don't live up to our own high expectations. Being mindful of our actions and feelings can help with this. This week I discuss how I have become more mindful of this personality trait and talk about being nicer to myself when I am not "perfect."
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2019-09-1633 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - Ep13 - Our Cup OverflowsOur cup can only hold so much. When we mask our feelings and carry the burdens of others without taking anytime for ourselves can lead us to a life that has no room for our own inner emotions. We need to make time for ourselves and not feel guilty about it. Once we truly learn how to prioritize our mental health and feelings, we can then lead a fuller life.
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2019-09-1140 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - Ep12 - My Therapy JourneyTherapy can be scary - opening up to a complete stranger and letting them know your innermost secrets. For me, the scary part was not how my life would change after therapy but how it might not if I never tried. This is my therapy journey.
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2019-09-0545 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - Ep11 - AwarenessWe've come so far when it comes to finally having open and honest conversations about mental health, but we still have a long way to go. We still need to allow ourselves to be heard when we are hurting inside. Keeping things bottled up leads to unhealthy coping mechanisms. The more we talk, the better.
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2019-09-0233 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - Ep10 - Sunlight and ShadowsFor as long as humans have been on this earth, we have protected ourselves and our families by focusing on those things that scare us. We have put more emphasis and importance on fear rather than joy. It may have worked to keep the human race thriving but living a life with a focus on the negative may help you live a life that is longer but possibly not better.
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2019-08-2830 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - Ep9 - Compare and ContrastNormal is relative and too many times we base our normal on the normal of other people. Our thoughts and feelings are our own but sometimes we are stuck comparing our emotional state to others. We also rate our progress of coping with others who might be going thru similar things. Once we start to focus on our on mental health and progress, we can learn to be mindful of our feelings and progress in a healthy way.
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2019-08-2125 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - Ep8 - Let's TalkWhen pain is tangible and obvious, it is easy to talk about. With mental health, the pain is not always easy to notice so those conversations that are needed do not often happen.It is up to us to lift the stigma on talking about mental illness. We should all strive to become better listeners and friends.
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2019-08-2125 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - Ep7 - Going for a RunAs a runner, I know I talk about running a lot. I know it can be annoying to some people but when it comes down to it, running saved my life. I use it for physical and emotional fitness. In this episode, I recorded the first part before a run and the second part after running 4 miles. I then explained how my mental state was affected by the run. I think you will notice a difference.
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2019-08-1423 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - Ep6 - Married with AnxietyI wanted to discuss how my relationship with my wife has changed and improved since I started to open up about my mental health. In this episode, I will discuss how opening up lines of communication with the ones we love can help us deal with the uncertainty of anxiety and depression.
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2019-08-0926 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - Ep5 - Body ImageHow we look on the outside definitely affects how we feel on the inside. I have been struggling with body image issues most of my life and it didn't matter if I was big, small or somewhere in between. I am still working on coping with this and in this episode I will let out some of my most intimate feelings about my mind and body.
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2019-07-3133 minRelatively NormalRelatively Normal - Ep4 - Bad DaysWe all can have a bad day. But, what about those really bad days that we a stricken with depression and anxiety and don't know how to cope? In this episode, I will explain what constitutes a bad day, how I have gotten through them and some steps that we all can take to help us prepare for future bad days.
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2019-07-3123 min