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Marcus & Esme O’Kayvius

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Crazy TogetherCrazy Together35. Creating Sensory-Friendly Interior SpacesEsme makes her glorious return to the recording studio to discuss how our environments and internal spaces (e.g., home, work, school, etc.) can impact neurodivergent people with sensory sensitivities. She and Marcus then share a few tips for making your home more comfortable for the neurodiverse in your lives, as well as considerations for advocating for accommodations in your workplace. ALSO: Marcus calls out the Guggenheim. Why? You’ll have to listen to find out.   Visit our website: crazytogetherpod.com   Support our show:  Buy us a coffee at ko-fi.com/c...2025-07-231h 21Crazy TogetherCrazy Together34. Is Capitalism Bad for Our Mental Health?PROVOCTIVE TITLE WARNING! Content might be more nuanced than the title suggests. Listener discretion is encouraged.   Visit our website: crazytogetherpod.com   Support our show:  Buy us a coffee at ko-fi.com/crazytogetherpod.    Sources for this episode include: Zeira, Anna. "Mental Health Challenges Related to Neoliberal Capitalism in the United States." Community Mental Health Journal, vol. 58, no. 2, May 2021, pp. 205–212. PubMed Central, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8145185/.  Our theme music: Midnight—Declan DP [Audio Library Release] Music provided by Audio Library Plus Watch:   ...2025-07-1726 minCrazy TogetherCrazy Together33. Summer, Summer, SummertimeMarcus and Esme are on vacation this week, but they didn't want to leave you hanging. So they have compiled some of their favorite clips into one fun-filled episode. They will be back with a new episode next week. Enjoy!   Visit our website: crazytogetherpod.com   Our theme music: Midnight—Declan DP [Audio Library Release] Music provided by Audio Library Plus Watch:    • Midnight — Declan DP | Free Backgroun...   Free Download / Stream: https://alplus.io/midnight-declan-dp 2025-07-1049 minCrazy TogetherCrazy Together32. Business Horoscopes: Part 2Marcus and Esme continue their discussion about personality type assessments and explore the ways in which even more reliable tools like the Big Five or Five Factor assessment are being misused by employers and the developers of certain talent management platforms. They also close the book on the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), and share some pretty shocking details about Isabel Briggs Myers’ personal biases.    Visit our website: crazytogetherpod.com   Support our show:  Buy us a coffee at ko-fi.com/crazytogetherpod.    Sources for this episode include: Zárate-Torr...2025-07-021h 18Crazy TogetherCrazy Together31. Business Horoscopes: Part 1Marcus and Esme examine the super squishy pseudoscience behind personality type assessments such as the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI).    Visit our website: crazytogetherpod.com   Support our show:  Buy us a coffee at ko-fi.com/crazytogetherpod.    Sources for this episode include: “The History of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator.” The Myers-Briggs Company, https://eu.themyersbriggs.com/en/tools/MBTI/Myers-Briggs-history.  Zárate-Torres, Rodrigo, and Juan C. Correa. “How Good Is the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator for Predicting Leadership-Related Behaviors?” Frontiers in Psychology, vol. 14, 2 Mar. 2023, article 940961, https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2023.940961.    Stromberg, Joseph...2025-06-251h 09Crazy TogetherCrazy Together30. Is There a Link Between Creativity and Mental Illness or Neurodivergence?Marcus and Esme pay tribute to the lives and works of Sly Stone and Brian Wilson–two of the most wildly creative, innovative, and influential singer/songwriters the world has ever known. While sharing their illuminating, entertaining, and occasionally heartbreaking stories, Marcus and Esme also confront the classic trope of the “Tortured Artist” to determine if there is a connection between creativity and mental illness, mood disorders, and/or neurodivergence.    Visit our website: crazytogetherpod.com   Support our show:  Buy us a coffee at ko-fi.com/crazytogetherpod.    Sources for this epi...2025-06-181h 27Crazy TogetherCrazy Together29. It Turns Out Everyone is All Up in Their FeelingsAnd when Marcus and Esme say “everyone,” they mean everyone. It turns out that human beings might not be the rational creatures we like to think we are. According to neuroscientist Antonio Damasio, it seems our decision-making abilities are guided and greatly influenced by our emotions.   In this episode, Marcus and Esme discuss Damasio’s theories and how they might explain some of the philosophical and political differences in our county, and why so many of us are susceptible to misinformation and irrational decision-making. They also discuss how this research opens the door to potentially reachin...2025-06-111h 13Crazy TogetherCrazy Together28. To Sleep Perchance to Pay Attention in School the Next DayLike a lot of people with ADHD, Marcus and Esme have trouble falling asleep and sometimes even staying asleep. They share some of the challenges they’ve experienced, as well as some of the early challenges they’ve observed with their daughter. They also discuss some of the strategies and resources for falling asleep the O’Kayviuses have tried over the years and how they’re helping their daughter develop good sleep hygiene (even though Marcus hates that term). PLUS: we learn that Esme sometimes talks in her sleep. Not just the occasional mumble or murmur, mind you, but fully en...2025-06-041h 21Crazy TogetherCrazy Together27. Unreliable NarratorsMarcus and Esme discuss the challenges caused by “unreliable narrators” – i.e., people and organizations who masquerade as reliable sources of information, but whose real purpose is to uncritically amplify content created by third parties with their own agendas. These unreliable narrators play a critical role in spreading misinformation, which has a tremendous impact on our mental health and well-being.   Visit our website: crazytogetherpod.com   Support our show:  Buy us a coffee at ko-fi.com/crazytogetherpod.    Sources for this episode include: Battle, Patricia. "Amazon CEO Gives Hard-Nosed...2025-05-281h 35Crazy TogetherCrazy Together26. Love and AnxietyMarcus and Esme fulfill a long-delayed promise by completing the Love and trilogy, and it only took them 23 episodes! Go back and listen to Love and ADHD (episode 2) and Love and Depression (episode 3) if you want to experience the full scope of their non-neurotypical love story. We promise it’s a better trilogy than the Godfather (but that’s mostly because Godfather part III was terrible).   Support our show:  Buy us a coffee at ko-fi.com/crazytogetherpod.    Sources for this episode include: Mayo Clinic Staff. "Anxiety Disorders - Symptoms and Causes."...2025-05-211h 18Crazy TogetherCrazy Together25. Are People with ADHD too Literal?No, people with ADHD are not too literal. We’re not “too” anything. We’re glorious unicorns. That said, numerous studies have demonstrated that people with ADHD often have difficulties understanding and interpreting non-literal language. Marcus is skeptical of this claim. After all, he’s fluent in sarcasm and is always down for a little idiomatic wordplay. Fortunately, Esme talks him through the research and helps him recognize where his own thinking tends to be a little black and white.    Support our show:  Buy us a coffee at ko-fi.com/crazytogetherpod.    Sources for thi...2025-05-141h 20Crazy TogetherCrazy Together24. More Fun with SSRIsMarcus and Esme pick up where they left off with last week’s discussion about Selective Serotonin Uptake Inhibitors (SSRIs). They begin with an overview of some of the more common myths and outright lies about SSRIs. Then, they discuss a study that demonstrates the impact of misinformation and conspiracy theories on peoples’ willingness to get the help they need. Finally, they close with an extended rant about HHS Secretary RFK Jr., because if ever a man existed who has not received enough negative reinforcement in his life, it’s that crackly-skinned son of a gun.   Trigg...2025-05-071h 28Crazy TogetherCrazy Together23. SSRIs, Stupidity, and LiesEsme is back! This week, the Okayviuses discuss Selective Serotonin Uptake Inhibitors (SSRIs), the very common antidepressant that, for a variety of reasons, is the target of a lot of influencers and media members who make money by lying to their audiences. The Okayviuses are quick to acknowledge that the experience of going on SSRIs leaves a lot to be desired, but ultimately conclude that the experience is a lot better than the worst possible outcome for anyone who is suffering from depression.    Trigger warning: This episode contains discussions about depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation. Li...2025-04-301h 06Crazy TogetherCrazy TogetherBONUS: Too Much Cough Medicine/ More with Will the ForesterEsme is still under the weather. Marcus is, too, but he’s all hepped up on cough and cold medicines. Let’s hope Esme is restored to good health in short order, or Marcus might continue to go rogue in the editing suite.   Anywho . . . this very special bonus episode contains some additional content from the interview with Will the forester. Will shares a hair-raising tale about accidentally discovering an old mine shaft with his foot. He also discusses how the challenges and the demands of the job can impact foresters’ mental health, and why it’s so hard...2025-04-2631 minCrazy TogetherCrazy Together22. Mental Health and the Power of Nature (both the tree kind of nature and the personality kind of nature)Marcus and Esme welcome their very first guest to the podcast! Will the forester (not his official title) joins the O’Kayviuses to discuss the impact the natural world has on our mental health and wellness. They also discuss the very nature of what it means to have ADHD, and how sometimes the best “treatment” is not figuring out how to fit into society, but finding a place in this world that is the best fit for you.    Visit our website: crazytogetherpod.com   Support our show:  Buy us a coffee at ko-fi.c...2025-04-231h 15Crazy TogetherCrazy Together21. Overcoming DepressionAnyone who has struggled with depression is a tough SOB. Talk about survival skills! Even so, the prospect of undergoing treatment can be a little scary, particularly if it’s someone’s first attempt at getting help. The process is so filled with unknowns – it’s hard to know what to expect. That’s why Marcus and Esme have dedicated an episode to talking about what people can expect as they progress on the road to overcoming depression.    Visit our website: crazytogetherpod.com   Support our show:  Buy us a coffee at ko-fi.com/c...2025-04-091h 17Crazy TogetherCrazy Together20. There are so Many Ways to Fear RejectionIt feels like overkill, but there are so many ways to feel and fear rejection, particularly if you have ADHD. Marcus and Esme discuss three different ways in which those feelings can manifest: rejection sensitivity, Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), and Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD). Spoiler alert: This topic will definitely be revisited in future episodes, so Marcus and Esme might just ask you to share your stories (if you feel comfortable with that sort of thing).     Visit our website: crazytogetherpod.com   Support our show:  Buy us a coffee at ko...2025-04-021h 08Crazy TogetherCrazy Together19. The World Happiness ReportMarcus and Esme explore the concept of happiness as defined by Sociology and Econ majors. They also try to figure out what makes the Finnish people so freaking happy, and come away impressed by their gritty determination to pursue general contentment in a cold, cruel world. Sisu!    Visit our website: crazytogetherpod.com   Support our show:  Buy us a coffee at ko-fi.com/crazytogetherpod.    Sources for this episode include: Wellbeing Research Centre at the University of Oxford, et al. World Happiness Report. 2025, https://worldhappiness.report/..  Tikkanen, Roosa, et al...2025-03-261h 16Crazy TogetherCrazy Together18. Movie Night: Silver Linings PlaybookIt’s movie night! Marcus and Esme discuss the 2012 film Silver Linings Playbook.   Visit our website: crazytogetherpod.com   Support our show:  Buy us a coffee at ko-fi.com/crazytogetherpod.    Sources for this episode include: National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH). Bipolar Disorder. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Revised 2025, https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/bipolar-disorder  Watkins, Gwynne. "Ask a Psychiatrist: How Does Silver Linings Playbook Handle Mental Illness?" Vulture, Vox Media, 3 Dec. 2012, https://www.vulture.com/2012/12/ask-a-psychiatrist-how-does-silver-linings-playbook-handle-mental-illness.html    Our theme musi...2025-03-191h 51Crazy TogetherCrazy Together17. Managing StressLet’s talk about stress! Recent events have reminded Marcus and Esme that they need to be mindful of stress to protect their mental health. As such, they’ve decided to devote an episode to the concept of self-care.  But first, Esme discusses her recent adventures in the field of bathroom design, and Marcus explains what a leprechaun hunt is and how it plays a critical role in his relationship with his daughter.     Visit our website: crazytogetherpod.com   Support our show:  Buy us a coffee at ko-fi.com/crazytogeth...2025-03-121h 29Crazy TogetherCrazy Together16. Masking, Part 2: Of Masks and MirrorsSickness descends on the O’Kayvius household again, this time in the form of a fever and sore throat that has laid Esme low. It’s up to Marcus to employ some editing wizardry to make sure a new episode goes up on time. Did he succeed? You make the call.    Visit our website: crazytogetherpod.com   Support our show:  Buy us a coffee at ko-fi.com/crazytogetherpod.    Sources for this episode include: Dupree, Dale. "How to Use Sales Mirroring to Build Stronger Customer Relationships." Salesforce, 18 June 2024, www.salesf...2025-03-0557 minCrazy TogetherCrazy TogetherMasking (but not in a freaky, adult-themed party kind of way)Marcus briefly confuses the concept of psychological masking with a more risque type of masking. Fortunately, Esme was able to explain the difference before any lasting misunderstandings were forged.   Marcus and Esme then define what Masking is and how it impacts the lives of neurodivergent people – with special emphasis on autistic people and people with ADHD.    Visit our website: crazytogetherpod.com   Support our show:  Buy us a coffee at ko-fi.com/crazytogetherpod.    Sources for this episode include: Cuffman, Carrie. "What Is Masking?" Cleveland...2025-02-261h 11Crazy TogetherCrazy Together14. A Happy ADHD StoryMarcus and Esme tell an honest to God happy story about ADHD. But first, Marcus expounds on the brilliance of a 1980s post disco classic, and Esme reveals yet another talent. Then, the O’Kayviuses set the stakes for their happy story by reviewing a recent study that revealed a link between ADHD and reduced life expectancy for adults. Then we get to the happy story.   Afterwards, Marcus and Esme take a moment to discuss how closing the Department of Education and “school choice” tax credit programs could theoretically result in shortening the lives of boys an...2025-02-191h 07Crazy TogetherCrazy Together13. Men, Mental Health, and Masculinity, Part 2Marcus and Esme attempt to mend fences and sovereign borders with some proud, Canadian listeners. Then they continue their discussion from last week about issues impacting men’s mental health. Marcus describes his own experiences attempting to live up to the high and often unrealistic standards of traditional masculinity. Later, Marcus and Esme submit a few modest suggestions for reframing some of the best aspects of masculinity by making them more relevant for a contemporary audience.    Visit our website: crazytogetherpod.com   Support our show:  Buy us a coffee at ko-fi.com/cr...2025-02-121h 49Crazy TogetherCrazy Together12. Men, Mental Health, and Masculinity, Part 1Marcus and Esme discuss issues impacting men’s mental health. And, while Marcus acknowledges that certain behaviors and traits associated with masculinity do appear to have an impact, he reveals that he doesn’t think the term “toxic masculinity” is very helpful. His rationale and his alternative solution are revealed in the couple’s most glorious rabbit hole to date (discussions about the magic of Tom Jones excepted, of course).   Marcus and Esme also explore some of the ways in which the health care and mental health industries are struggling to meet men’s needs. And finally...2025-02-041h 04Crazy TogetherCrazy Together11. All the Inattentive Ladies, All the Hyperactive Ladies (Put Your Hands Up)The O’Kayviuses make their glorious return, and this time Esme is at the wheel. Esme identifies what she believes are the two biggest challenges facing women and girls when it comes to getting diagnosed with (and receiving treatment for) ADHD. Spoiler alert: they both suck. To be clear, it’s the challenges that suck and not Esme’s theories, which are supported by evidence.  Naturally, Marcus takes the conversation down a few different rabbit holes. Sadly, none of them involve stories about soul music or its practitioners.    Trigger warning: This episode contains reference...2025-01-281h 11Crazy TogetherCrazy Together10. A Brief PauseMarcus and Esme announce they are taking a short break to catch up on some work. They will return with a new episode in two weeks.    Visit our website: crazytogetherpod.com   Support our show:  Buy us a coffee at ko-fi.com/crazytogetherpod.   Our theme music: Midnight—Declan DP [Audio Library Release] Music provided by Audio Library Plus Watch:    • Midnight — Declan DP | Free Backgroun...   Free Download / Stream: https://alplus.io/midnight-declan-dp   2025-01-1404 minCrazy TogetherCrazy Together9. Gratitude, but not in a woo-woo kind of wayHappy belated holidays to all! Marcus and Esme bounce back from a holiday season full of sinus infections and other complications to deliver their first episode of 2025. Yes, it was supposed to be their last episode of 2024 but cut them some slack. If they have been upfront with their audience about anything, it’s that they are by no means perfect. They’re just two crazy kids who love each other and all of you (particularly those “one-off” listeners in Germany, Norway, and Wales).   Visit our website: crazytogetherpod.com   Support our show: ...2025-01-021h 04Crazy TogetherCrazy Together8. Isolation and Mental HealthEsme is, as always, amazing. Fortunately, Marcus already knew this.   Trigger warning: This episode contains references to suicidal ideation. Listener discretion is advised. If you or someone you love is dealing with these issues, please know that hope and help is available. Contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline if you are experiencing mental health-related distress or are worried about a loved one who may need crisis support. Call or text 988 Chat at 988lifeline.org  Connect with a trained crisis counselor. 988 is confidential, free, and available 24/7/365. Visit the 988 Su...2024-12-181h 07Crazy TogetherCrazy Together7. Toxic Positivity, part 2Marcus prepares Esme and himself for their upcoming re-evaluation of Yacht Rock. Then, Marucs and Esme continue their discussion about Toxic Positivity (go back and listen to episode 5 for part 1) by sharing excerpts from journalist, author, and activist Barbara Ehrenreich’s 2009 book, Bright-sided: How the Relentless Promotion of Positive Thinking has Undermined America.   Visit our website: crazytogetherpod.com   Support our show  Buy us a coffee at ko-fi.com/crazytogetherpod.    Sources for this episode include: Yildirim, Ece. “Harvard-trained psychiatrist: Everyone needs these 3 new skills to succeed in today’s w...2024-12-101h 14Crazy TogetherCrazy Together6. Where ADHD, Shame, and Calamity MeetOn this very special and completely unintended episode, Marcus and Esme describe the role their ADHD played in a recent set of events that included (among other things) the cataclysmic failure of a home heating system, the disruption of their production schedule, sequestration in a hotel suite, and the internal processing of a great deal of shame.   Visit our website   Support our show  Buy us a coffee at ko-fi.com/crazytogetherpod.    Sources for this episode include: Saline, Sharon, Psy.D.. “Stop Dodging That Dreaded Task! 9 Ways to Halt...2024-12-0437 minCrazy TogetherCrazy Together5. Toxic Positivity, part 1Marcus shows Esme an article that set him off recently, which leads to a lengthy discussion about why we are encouraged to maintain a positive attitude, even while things are breaking down all around us. Visit our website Sources for this episode include: Yildirim, Ece. “Harvard-trained psychiatrist: Everyone needs these 3 new skills to succeed in today’s workplaces.” CNBC.com. December 15, 2023. https://www.cnbc.com/2023/12/15/harvard-trained-psychiatrist-new-skills-you-need-for-the-workplace.html#:~:text=In%20short%3A%20To%20succeed%20in,at%20employee%20coaching%20platform%20BetterUp. “Resilience.” apa.org. https://www.apa.org/topics/resilience Ozcelik, H., & Barsade, S. G. (2018). No employee a...2024-11-2659 minCrazy TogetherCrazy Together1. Impostor SyndromeEver since the pandemic it seems like everyone has been (informally) diagnosed with impostor syndrome at one time or another. But what does it mean if everyone thinks they’re a fraud? And what do these feelings have to do with the increasingly vague standards we’re being held to at work? (Spoiler alert: Possibly a lot) Visit our website Sources for this episode include: Huecker MR, Shreffler J, McKeny PT, et al. Imposter Phenomenon. [Updated 2023 Jul 31]. In: StatPearls [Internet]. Treasure Island (FL): StatPearls Publishing; 2024 Jan-. Available from: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/book...2024-11-1958 minCrazy TogetherCrazy Together2. Love and ADHDIt’s a tale as old as time. Two people meet, fall in love, get married, and get diagnosed with matching neurodevelopmental disorders. Their love remains strong, but how can their relationship function amidst so much executive dysfunction? Find out this week as Marcus and Esme attempt to answer the question: What does it take to make a relationship work between two people with ADHD? Visit our website Sources for this episode include: "ADHD and Relationships." PsychologyToday.com. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/adhd/adhd-and-relationships#does-it-matter-which-partner-has-adhd Our theme music: Midnight—Declan DP...2024-11-191h 05Crazy TogetherCrazy Together3. Love and DepressionMarcus and Esme have a remarkably frank discussion about the impact depression has had on their relationship. They discuss their respective experiences with chronic depression, and how each has attempted to help the other through these depressive episodes. But first, Marcus shows Esme a video of an iconic musical performance, which he believes to be “a cultural artifact of tremendous sociological import.” In reality, he just demonstrates the various twists and turns his ADHD brain takes while going down a rabbit hole. Trigger warning: This episode contains discussions about depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation. Listener discretion is advi...2024-11-191h 33Crazy TogetherCrazy Together4. Post-election mini episodeMarcus unveils his grand plan for saving democracy but acknowledges he might be a little late. Then, Marcus and Esme briefly discuss their feelings and outlook following the 2024 election. Visit our website Our theme music: Midnight—Declan DP [Audio Library Release] Music provided by Audio Library Plus Watch:    • Midnight — Declan DP | Free Backgroun...   Free Download / Stream: https://alplus.io/midnight-declan-dp 2024-11-1907 minCrazy TogetherCrazy TogetherCrazy Together promoIf you’re sick and tired of listening to the negative talk track playing in your head, then why not listen to us instead?   Our theme music: Midnight—Declan DP [Audio Library Release] Music provided by Audio Library Plus Watch:    • Midnight — Declan DP | Free Backgroun...   Free Download / Stream: https://alplus.io/midnight-declan-dp 2024-11-1400 min