Shows
Parenting Decoded78 - How To Stop Kids Whining - A Parent's GuideIn this episode, we cover:Why whining is a communication issue, not a behavior problemHow whining looks different in toddlers vs. older kidsCommon parenting responses that accidentally reinforce whiningSimple, effective strategies like:Naming the whining and teaching an “asking voice”Knowing when to wait it out (without engaging)Addressing hunger, fatigue, and overwhelm before whining startsWhat to expect when whining gets worse before it gets better—and how to stay consistentIf you’re parenting kids ages 2–10 and feeling worn down by constan...
2026-02-1805 min
Parenting Decoded72 - Tips for Parents: How to Get Kids to SleepParenting Decoded welcomes McCall Gordon to tackle one of parenting’s toughest questions: Why won’t my kid sleep? Her book is aimed at parents of "livewires" — kids who are more alert, intense, and emotionally reactive than average, making traditional sleep advice ineffective.McCall explains that temperament plays a huge role in sleep struggles — some kids just have a harder time winding down. These children are perceptive, persistent, and often lack typical “sleepy cues” like yawning. Instead, they need more support and a customized sleep strategy.She encourages parents to stop blaming themselves. These kids aren’t “bad”...
2026-02-0928 min
Gracenotes PodcastHealthy Relationships With TechnologyGrace Thomas talks with Mary Eschen, host of Parenting Decoded, about raising independent kids, managing screen time, & building strong parent-child connections.Introduction: Meet Mary Eschen, Parenting Expert and Host of Parenting DecodedMary’s Parenting Journey: From Helicopter Mom to Love and Logic CoachScreen Time and Technology: Practical Tips for Today’s Kids: tools like Bark.com.Building Human Connection: One-on-One Time with Your ChildResources and Tools: Podcasts & lecturesClosing Prayer and Reflection: Applying God’s Guidance in ParentingPodcast: www.parentingdecoded.comG...
2026-02-0623 min
Parenting Decoded77 - Tame The Dinner Table ChaosGetting Kids to Stay at the Table: Four Simple Rules That WorkTired of mealtimes feeling like a circus? Kids jumping up every two minutes, running after them with food, or resorting to screens just to keep them in their seats? You're not alone—and there's a better way.In this episode, we tackle one of parents' biggest daily battles: getting kids to actually sit and eat their meals. Whether you have toddlers or elementary-aged children, these four practical Family Mealtime Rules will transform your dinner table from chaos to calm....
2026-01-0907 min
Parenting Decoded76 - Gifting a Digital Device for the First Time: A Parent's GuideAre you planning to give your child their first smartphone, tablet, gaming console, or smartwatch this holiday season? Before you wrap that gift, there's crucial work you need to do! In this week's episode of Parenting Decoded, I'm sharing essential guidance from Defend Young Minds on how to set up digital devices the RIGHT way—before your child ever touches them.I walk you through the step-by-step process of configuring parental controls, testing safety settings, and creating a family tech contract that establishes clear boundaries from day one. Whether your child is 8, 10, or 15, this episode will help yo...
2025-12-1210 min
Parenting Decoded75 - How to Stop Nagging Your Kids (And Get Better Results)How to Stop Nagging Your Kids (And Get Better Results)The Problem: You're repeating yourself constantly, and it's exhausting everyone. Nagging doesn't work, damages relationships, and prevents kids from developing independence.What You'll Learn:Why nagging fails and what it teaches your childrenHow to use natural consequences effectivelyThe power of saying things once (and meaning it)Creating routines that eliminate daily battlesTransferring ownership so kids manage their own responsibilitiesThe Goal: Raise responsible, independent kids while building a stronger relationship—without being the household taskmaster....
2025-10-0805 min
Power & PoliticsMary Beth Walsh, NYS Assemblymember, on political violence, criminal justice reform, and the New York State Climate Law, September 25th, 2025NYS Assemblymember Mary Beth Walsh (R,C-Ballston) discusses the recent efforts by Governor Kathy Hochul to have bipartisan stance against political violence, and Walsh's role as Assembly Minority floor leader in that aspect. Also a Family Court attorney, she also discusses the potential for changes to New York's Raise the Age and Bail Reform. We also touch on her involvement in calls for changes to the process of the New York State Draft Energy Plan, and the 2019 Climate Law. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
2025-09-2732 min
Parenting Decoded74 – How I Stopped Being My Kids' Human ATM (And Started Teaching Money Skills)Transform your back-to-school shopping from a budget-busting headache to an opportunity for teaching financial responsibility. I share how I went from spending $100 per child on school supplies to $50 while teaching my kids valuable money lessons in the process.• Set a firm budget before looking at supply lists and commit to not exceeding it• Give kids their budget in actual cash so they can physically see their spending limits• Let them keep whatever they don't spend as an incentive to make smart choices• Apply the same system to clothes shopping to extend the financial learning• Ev...
2025-08-0606 min
Parenting Decoded73 - Navigating the Summer Screen Time StruggleSummer break intensifies the screen time battle with teens and tweens, but shifting from screen time enforcer to screen time strategist can transform your approach and relationship with your kids.You should head over to the Screenagers website for the full blog post "Screen Time and Parental Controls: Simple Tips for a Smoother Summer." but I'm including a brief synopsis in this podcast to help entice you to do that. Key Steps for a Smooth Screen Summer:• Trust and verify instead of secretly spying on your children's digital act...
2025-06-0903 min
Parenting Decoded71 - Chore Wars - Bedroom Edition: A Six-Step Strategy for a Tidy Room When Kids ResistTackling the age-old parenting challenge of getting kids to do their chores requires a systematic approach rather than nagging or giving up. We explore a six-step process focused on bedroom cleanup that can transform your family's approach to household responsibilities.• Breaking down "clean your room" into specific tasks like making the bed, putting clothes in hamper, and picking up toys• Creating separate lists for daily versus weekly tasks to make expectations more manageable• Letting children choose when they'll complete their chores (morning, evening, specific days for weekly tasks)• Setting up clear consequences tied to things k...
2025-04-2709 min
Parenting Decoded70 - Empowering Parents: Preventing Childhood Sexual AbuseIn this episode, we tackle the important issue of childhood sexual abuse and how to help prevent it. By educating ourselves as parents, we can provide our children with the tools they need to protect themselves.• Discuss the prevalence of childhood sexual abuse statistics • Explore the need for children to know proper terminology for body parts • Encourage open lines of communication about consent and boundaries Let's work together to change statistics and protect our children.Here is the full article from AAP:https://www.contemporarypediatrics.com/view/aap-tips-for-teaching-children-about-body-boundaries-and-safetyEmail m...
2025-03-0505 min
Parenting Decoded69 - Tips For Parents | How To Teach Your Kids To Be ResponsibleDoes your child have a problem with what's in their backpack? You know, those papers that are wrinkled at the bottom? Maybe a permission slip? Or possibly a banana? Or how about the things that are NOT in their backpack? Do they forget to put their homework in? Or maybe their lunch or water bottle? In this podcast take a new approach!We want it to be THEIR fault in their minds. It’s ok that there’s a problem, it’s...
2025-01-1504 min
Parenting Decoded68 - Halloween Candy: How to Set Limits and Give Good ChoicesFor some families having lots of Halloween candy floating around our homes causes stress and strain. In this podcast learn some tricks for treating your whole family to a more fun and happy experience as you learn to set limits and boundaries while giving lots of choices and, occassionally, letting your kids make poor decisions. Email me at mary@parentingdecoded.com or go to my website at www.parentingdecoded.com. Have a blessed rest of your day!
2024-10-2807 min
Parenting Decoded67 - How to Create and Foster Secure Attachment With Your KidsHearing the phrase "secure attachment" makes us think of some academic thesis. BORING! Well, I want to help flip that idea in our minds to "CRUCIAL". Yes, having our kids see us as stable, reliable and empathetic beings in their lives is ESSENTIAL. In this podcast episode I talk to Eli Harwood, a therapist and "attachment nerd", as she calls herself on social media. We talk about how in her book, Raising Securely Attached Kids, you can learn to build a stable and trusting environment for our kids so they will thrive and grow. In h...
2024-09-1132 min
Parenting Decoded66 - Young Kids (Toddler to Preschool) and Chores, Life Skills and Teaching Independence How much can a 2-, 3- or 4-year-old do? What can they do? They’re so little, right? A toddler? A preschooler? What’s reasonable? What’s not? Are you doing too much as a parent? All good questions for sure that most of us struggle with! In this podcast we explore what’s reasonable to encourage and train young kids to do from chores to life skills that will build self-confidence and independence. Here's the list of ideas we cover: Personal accomplishments:Feed themselvesPack backpackMake bedPick out clothesPut clothes in hamperWash their own hands by themselve...
2024-06-2612 min
Parenting Decoded65 - How to Connect with Teens and Tweens and Stay Connected as a ParentGetting teens and tweens to talk to parents is an age old battle the repeats itself over and over again with each new generation. Times change but our teens wanting independence from us doesn't. In this episode learn some tips and tricks for how to get our kids to relax and just enjoy being with us so that they'll open up and want to trust us. There is a list of activities and how to use them to break down the barriers and engage your teens and tweens that should lead to building trusting relationships.
2024-04-2518 min
Parenting Decoded64 - How to Connect With Young Kids and Stay Connected to ThemKids of all ages need to feel connected and loved unconditionally. How can you set up a system in your family for creating and keeping those connections? In this podcast we go over connections for kids between 2 and 10. The next podcast covers what you can do for teens and tweens, a much harder demographic than younger kids who still think the world of you. In this episode we explore ideas on how to have regular "quick" connections on a daily or weekly basis while also considering longer "dates" with our kids. We talk about how the intention is fo...
2024-03-0609 min
Parenting Decoded63 - Grumpy Kids: 4 Steps to Dealing with Emotional KidsGrumpy kids can really put your home into a foul mood. What can we do to help tame these dark clouds and bring some sunshine back into our lives?In this episode we'll cover these four steps:Step 1 – Keep Your Cool Step 2 – Offer Empathy and Hugs Step 3 - Fix the Broken Connection Step 4 – Go on a Trigger Quest and Brainstorm The transcript for this episode is HEREHere are the resources mentioned in the podcast:Kings Co...
2024-02-1211 min
Parenting Decoded62 - Rewards vs. Bribes: What Should Parents Use to Motivate KidsParents struggle with how to motivate their children toward certain behaviors. Typically rewards and bribes are used. In this episode learn about when bribes and rewards are most likely to motivate your child. There are pros and cons of both types of motivations. Bribes tend to reinforce negative behaviors, while rewards are commonly thought of as something that's planned ahead and well-thought-out, used for positive behaviors. However, sometimes our plans backfire! When? How? What do we do? Listen and learn!Click HERE for a written transcript on my website. Em...
2024-01-1310 min
Parenting Decoded61 - Bullying - How Parents Can Help Kids Who Are Being BulliedKids being bullied isn't new. What's new is the extent at which they are being bullied and, with the internet, in new and harmful ways. In this episode, we'll cover the different types of bullying:Verbal - teasing, name-calling, taunting, etc.,Social - spreading rumors, leaving kids out, embarrassing them, etc.Physical - hitting, spitting, tripping, etc. Cyberbullying - using digital devices to cause others harmWhy does bullying occur?What can families do?How you can role-play and brainstorm with your child. Here are reso...
2023-11-1016 min
Parenting Decoded60 - Anxious Kids and What Parents Can Do to Help: 4 Different Types of AnxietyDo you have an anxious child? Does it worry you or drive you crazy? Either way you need to listen to this podcast!Learn about the 4 different types of anxiety, then the 4 parenting traps that we fall into when we attempt to "help" that wind up having negative impacts.Being over reassuringSwooping in/Jumping in too soonAllowing avoidanceBeing too tough or criticalIn this podcast, hear from Stephanie Pinto, founder of Let’s Raise Emotionally Intelligent Kids and author of the best-selling book From Chaos to Connection. We talk about how parents can suppo...
2023-10-0339 min
Parenting Decoded59 - Body Image and How Parents Can Help Kids Who Don't Fit Into StereotypesToday with the launch of the Barbie movie and so much emphasis on selfies and having perfect bodies, it's worth considering how we help out the millions of kids who aren't "perfect". In this episode I interview Pam Luk, Founder of Ember & Ace, a clothing brand for plus-sized kids. We talk about how to support our kids both socially and emotionally as well as how we as parents need to tamp down our own feelings about perfection that harm our kids in emotional ways that hurt more than help.Here is a link to Ember & Ac...
2023-09-0418 min
Parenting Decoded58 - Helping Neurodivergent Kids SocializeWhat do you with kids who are wired differently? Who might be on the spectrum (ADHD, Asperger's, OCD, etc.)? Maybe they've had a diagnosis, maybe you just can see they are off the charts brilliant and some things but a total failure at socializing with kids their age. If you have such challenges with your kids, take a listen to Sam Young of Young Scholars Academy in this episode as he explains how his online community for neurodivergent and gifted children works. He brings a strength-based approach to getting our kids to connect in healthy, positive ways while...
2023-08-1230 min
Parenting Decoded57- Kids Who Lose or Forget Stuff and How Parents Can Teach Responsibility in 2 StepsSome kids seem to be born not caring where stuff is. They rely on us to find things and if we can't find them they blame US! Yikes! This episode gives you ideas about how to let go of the responsibility for items in our kids lives that should be THEIRS but seem to have become OURS. Learn how to keep a calm head as we turn over the job of owning "stuff" back to our kids in loving ways. Step 1: Turn off the "mom finder" that enables kids lack of responsibility Step 2...
2023-05-0207 min
Parenting Decoded56 - Separation Anxiety in Kids: Why and What Parents Can DoMost parents seem to get hit with this at some point in our parenting journey. It can start at around 6-7 months and usually goes away gradually throughout early childhood. But… sometimes we’re just put to the test with separation issues and we wish someone would let us know what’s normal, what’s extreme and give us some ideas about what to do. In this podcast we have Jessica O’Connor, LMFT, a licensed marriage and family therapist to help step us through ideas in dealing with separation at different ages and stages. For more det...
2023-03-1430 min
Parenting Decoded55 - Screentime Battles: Managing Screens as a Family Using AroListen to Heath Wilson, co-founder of Aro, talk about their innovative technology that helps families develop good screen habits in a positive and fun way. There's a smart tech "box" to hold your devices when families decide to have non-tech time and an app that will track how long technology has been in the box. It's the complete opposite of our normal "get off your device" that many families fight about now,! This is more like: "hey, how fun to see how long you been off your device" twist! You can use the app to hav...
2023-01-2624 min
Parenting Decoded54 - Overbearing and Over Gifting Grandparents and How Parents Can Manage ThemThere are so many pressures we face as parents but one of the most challenging can be managing our own parents when it comes to gifting to their grandkids. It's enough to drive some of us crazy!In this episode we'll talk about the types of interference we might be dealing from our family values being over run to dealing with huge amounts of clutter that we have to organize not to how too many toys can interfere with creativity in our kids. Take a listen to hear more possible issues. What can you do? ...
2022-12-0814 min
Parenting Decoded53 - Kids Who Don't Enjoy Reading or Has Other Learning Differences: What Parents Can DoWhen you have a child who refuses to read or is delayed in their reading compared to their peers it can be a very stressful time for parents as we try to navigate the what-to-dos and the why-is this-happening-to-my-child thoughts that constantly run through our minds. The same stress can hit us when our kids don’t want to write and then again if they start falling into the “I hate school” mode which really tears us up. Having learning differences can contribute heavily to this stressful time but knowing what to do and what resources you can empl...
2022-10-1327 min
Parenting Decoded52 - Manners Lesson: Chewing Food and How Parents Can Get Kids to Chew PolitelyIn this third installment of my manners series we discuss how to train your kids to chew their food with their mouths closed. It can be a challenge but with some consistency, love and a bit of fun and games it's possible to move your kids into the social graces. There are two books for younger kids that might come in handy:“How Dinosaurs Eat Their Food” by Jane Yolen“Dinner with Olivia” by Emily SollingerHere's a copy of the TRANSCRIPT on my website.Also, feel free to email me wi...
2022-09-0508 min
Parenting Decoded51 - What Parents Can Do When Kids Misbehave and There Are No Natural Consequences and Energy is DrainedWhen kids drain our energy by doing things that drive us crazy we need to respond in a loving and empathetic manner. However, when we're so tired of them doing things that drain us -- like whining, talking back, fighting with their siblings, or ignoring screen time limits -- we just don't know what to do. In this podcast you'll learn not only how to recognize things that drain your energy but how to let your kids know and then ask them to do things for you that help replenish that energy. Our kids to need...
2022-08-1814 min
Parenting Decoded50 - Mary's Parenting Report Card By Her SonsWhat was Mary like as a parent? In this special episode hear from Mary's two grown sons on what it was like growing up with Mary as a parent. They talk about how natural consequences shaped them and how energy drains encouraged them to make better decisions among other topics.This episode was created at the request of Mary's Facebook Group, Parenting Decoded, who were curious about the long term impact of good, solid parenting techniques on children. What better examples than Mary's boys who went from having a helicopter mom to a consultant mom when they wer...
2022-07-1330 min
Parenting Decoded49 - Manners Lesson: "Thank You" and How Parents Can Get Kids to Give Thanks RegularlyIn this episode we learn how to get our kids to say “thank you” and how to help develop a general sense of appreciation for not only “things” but also training them in thankfulness which will help to promote an “attitude of gratitude”. Start Early Be ConsistentGive Praise for using Thank You Use Family Meetings to Set ExpectationsSet up Family Thanking EventsDinner time thank you routinesBedtime blessings routineThank you note practice for birthdays and holidaysMake it FUN! We'll talk about a few ideas for setting up a "fancy dinner" so we can practice all our manners in a creative an...
2022-06-2309 min
Parenting Decoded48 - Cultivating Kindness in KidsWe all want our kids to grow up being kind and courteous. In this episode I talk with Teresa Ramirez, a motivational speaker and Kindness Koach. Listen to lots of fun ideas on how to promote kindness inside and outside your home. Here's some of the ideas we talk about!- Model it INSIDE your home Use Family Meetings to talk about how to be kind to each other Come up with a list of ideas from putting sweet notes in lunch boxes to doing surprise chores for some oneMake a meal for everyone, Give a...
2022-05-0227 min
Parenting Decoded47 - Manners Lesson: How Parents Can Teach Kids to Say "Please"This is the first podcast in a series relating to getting our kids to learn manners which are fundamental to their becoming responsible, respectful adults. Starting with Life Lessons early has the biggest impact but in this series of podcasts, whether you have a toddler or a teen, it's worth investing in their future through manners.Here are the basics of what's covered in this podcast:1 - Start young! The earlier the better. Using "baby sign language" if you have a very little one. 2- With Older Kids Set Family Rules around Manners. Use a Famil...
2022-04-0510 min
Parenting Decoded46 - Unintended Consequences of Pushing for Good GradesIn this episode I interview Liz Bayardelle author of Clean Your Plate! 13 Things that Good Parents Say that Ruin Kids’ Lives. This book covers all sorts of unintended consequences that good parents say regularly like Get Straight As, Don’t Hit, Sit Still, Don’t Be a Quitter and many more. She goes into detail in all these areas and has wonderful ideas about how to combat our natural tendencies to push our kids in ways that might backfire. We talk specifically about the impact of parents choosing to say GET STRAIGHT A'S often sends our kids looking for...
2022-03-0136 min
Parenting Decoded45 - Screen Addiction: Is My Child Addicted? What Parents Can Do to Help Identify and Deal With Addiction to ElectronicsSome of us struggle with trying to figure out if our kids are addicted to screens. In this episode Emily Cherkin, The Screentime Consultant, and I discuss what causes screen addictions and what resources might help to determine if our kids are addicted. We also go over different levels of intervention in overcoming screen issues in our homes. Emily is launching a new course for parents that will help train parents week by week to get their arms around the issue. With parenting practices and live one-on-one coaching and support from other parents you will be able to m...
2022-02-2526 min
Parenting Decoded44 - Screen Time StrugglesIn this episode enjoy hearing from Emily Cherkin, The Screentime Consultant, as we talk about strategies to deal with kids and screen time use in our homes. Emily works with families all the time to help put "tech intentional" ideas into homes. Listen for ideas on how to set clear and reasonable limits in a way that can be integrated into your home, one step at a time. Emily can be found at: https://thescreentimeconsultant.com/You can learn about her new course on Becoming a Tech-Intentional Parent
2022-02-0123 min
Parenting Decoded43 - Siblings Who Hate Each Other: What Parents Can Do To Help Promote Sibling HarmonySiblings who hate each other is unfortunately all too common an issue for parents to ignore. In this podcast we explore what a parent can do with their kids who aren't getting along, who are unbearably mean to each other. Our kids fighting all the time can be:1 - draining for the ENTIRE family2 - full of opportunities to learn some life lessons about getting alongIn order to help stop the energy drain and actually learn those lessons that will help later in life we cover three possible solutions to try:1 - U...
2022-01-1113 min
Parenting Decoded42 - Challenges with Boundaries: How Parents Can Set True Limits and Stick to ThemSetting limits for our kids can be such a challenge. We set them, they ignore or break them. Ugh! In this episode learn how to set better boundaries that we can stick by so that our kids know that we mean what we say.Learn to say:1 - "AND WHAT DID I SAY"Using this phrase helps stop the whining and begging that gets so annoying that we often times give in just to quiet our kids down.2 - Set consequences for whining and complaining when our kids try to push our boundaries in dir...
2021-12-1708 min
Parenting Decoded41 - 8 Steps For Parents in Dealing with Disrespect From KidsIn this podcast learn how to deal with disrespect in your home by teaching and modeling respect while keeping calm. The truth is, disrespectful behavior is one of the inappropriate ways kids, especially teenagers but not limited to teens, try to solve their problems. Kids can feel powerless in the face of rules and expectations and talking back and showing disrespect is one way they try to take some power back. If they can drag you into an argument, that’s even better: Now you’re arguing about respect instead of focusing on their curfew or their homew...
2021-11-1616 min
Parenting Decoded40 - Fairness: What Parents Can Do With Kids Who Don't Think Things are Fair and JustLife isn’t fair it never has been. How we deal with life is what matters. In this episode learn how you can nurture an understanding of fairness in your child's life as well as ideas on how you can respond to unfairness.We want our kids to be able to:Let them know it's ok to express their emotions when life is unfairEncourage them to give praise to others when things aren't fairHelp them continue with life when things aren't fairHave them lead by Example, using grace and humility, when unfairness hits themSupport them learning from...
2021-10-2111 min
Parenting DecodedSPECIAL EPISODE: Email Me!In this very special episode I want to reach out to YOU, my listeners and hear from you! Email me your thoughts about who you are any why you listen! Got ideas? I'd LOVE to hear them! Already know me and came to a class or lecture long ago? Drop a note to say hi! Easiest way to email me is to click this link that takes you to my web page: EMAIL OR NEWSLETTER LINKYou'll just have to click one more time on the "email" link o...
2021-09-2003 min
Parenting Decoded39 - Bad Teachers and How to Deal With ThemIn this podcast I cover a few things. First, what do bad teachers look like? How do they behave? Next, what can you do about it as a parent and, lastly, what can your child do about making it through the year in once piece having learned what they need to. Three types of bad teachers:Fluffy - ones that are nice but don't teach the materialBoring - ones that put you to sleep they are so uninspiringMean - ones that yell and are just plain mean; they might have favorites in the cla...
2021-08-2116 min
Parenting Decoded38 - Parenting Pressure and Lazy Kids - What Healthy Pressure Looks LikeIn this episode I talk with Dr. Weisinger about their approach of transforming harmful parental pressure into healthy pressure. He has just released a new book with Dr. Christopher Thurber, The Unlikely Art of Parental Pressure: A Positive Approach to Pushing Your Child to Be Their Best Self. This book provides a roadmap for parents to engage in healthy pressure with our kids, ways that will help them grow and succeed instead of stifle and crush them. We, as parents, often struggle with kids who we think aren’t trying their hardest and we want to push harde...
2021-08-2031 min
Parenting Decoded37 - Annoying Kids and How to Handle Them Calmly as a ParentDo you have a kid who is always seeking attention? They are pulling on you, saying “Mommy, mommy, watch me!” Or maybe they try to one up anyone just to make themselves look bigger or better than others. Maybe they’ll even make things up to do that?In this episode you'll learn why your kids are acting that way and how to bring new skills into the mix so you can work with them in a positive way so they go from annoying to adorable. Take a listen!Send me email at mary@paren...
2021-08-0309 min
Parenting Decoded36 - Raising Complex Kids with ADHD, Anxiety, and other Executive Function IssuesIn this episode Mary interviews author Elaine Taylor-Kraus from ImpactParents about her new book: The Essential Guide to Raising Complex Kids with ADHD, Anxiety and MoreThis guide gives all parents a guide in how to best help their children overcome their challenges in healthy, loving and practical ways. Whether or not you have a child who has been diagnosed with ADHD, anxiety, Asperger’s, any other executive function issues or you’re just worried that your child is out of step with their peers, please listen in for some great advic...
2021-07-2732 min
Parenting Decoded35 - 3 Steps for Parents To Teach Kids to Apologize With Grace and From the HeartIn this episode learn how to get to the heart of your child and teach them how to apologize. Learn how to:1 - Wait till the emotion has passed2 - Brainstorm with your child to encourage ideas of how the apology can work for them3 - If their hearts won't melt then allow consequences of their poor decision to not apologize guide them to make better choices. Did your parents ever force you to apologize? Did it really make you feel sorry? I’m guessing that, like me, you probably just felt worse, felt...
2021-07-0108 min
Parenting Decoded34 - How Parents Can Teach Life Skills for Teens To Promote Independence and ConfidenceIn this episode we’ll talk about how to get our older kids, teens and tweens, to experience the bigger picture stuff and expose them to some of the messiness of life in a loving, supportive environment where they might even mess up some. Everything from chores they should know how to do on their own to handling money, cars and how to get a part time job. I’ll talk about planning vacations in addition to how to handle routine paperwork and cooking. It’s sort of a laundry list of items I think any parent should consider when trai...
2021-06-1514 min
Parenting Decoded33 - Loving Your Family Using Love LanguagesUnderstanding how a person perceives love is essential for knowing how to communicate love to them. In this interview I'm so happy to have Bec and Holly who have a podcast called ILoveYouTooMuchToArgue to explain what Love Languages are and how to use them in your family. Five Love Languages are:Acts of ServiceGiftsWords of AffirmationPhysical TouchTake the free online quiz!Find Holly and Bec anywhere you listen to podcasts and you can contact them at iloveyoutoomuchtoargue@gmail.com or on t...
2021-06-0436 min
Parenting Decoded32 - Substance Use and Abuse: What to Know as a ParentIn this podcast I interview Richard Carpriola an expert in addiction counseling with over 20 years of experience. He's the author of The Addicted Child: A Parent's Guide to Adolescent Substance Abuse.I found the book and talking with Richard really useful in learning about the different substances – marijuana, alcohol, vaping, inhalants and more, and what signs to look for in determining addiction and where to turn if you need help. Leave a review and let me know what you think!Leave me a review or email me at mary@parentingdecoded.com.
2021-05-2237 min
Parenting Decoded31 - Sibling Competition - How Everyone Can Win!Do you have kids who are always running to the car and saying: “I’m first!”? Or maybe they argue over who mom or dad reads to first at night? How about who gets to sit where at the dinner table? Or who does dad pour the catsup on French fries first? I know my boys would have a battle each time we got into an elevator over who gets to push the buttons. It’s exhausting, isn’t it? You might even say it “drains your energy” if you’re a Love and Logic parent. In this podcast I want to he...
2021-04-2211 min
Parenting Decoded30 - Getting Kids to Listen SEMINARParents are often baffled by their kids not listening and totally ignoring them. In this seminar which was taped during a Zoom presentation, parents learn that how we talk to our kids and when we talk to them has a huge impact on their ability to listen to us. In this talk you'll learn not only WHEN to communicate but about these techniques to be more impactful when you do:How to go "brain dead" when our kids are emotionalHow to use loving limits to state what you're willing to doHow giving choices can activate your ki...
2021-03-3144 min
Parenting Decoded29 - Communicating with Teens SEMINARThis is special podcast recording of a seminar at Prospect High School meant for all of you who are having a tough time communicating with your teens. I also have a YouTube version from Evergreen High School that includes all my PowerPoint slides that you can find on my Parenting Decoded YouTube Channel. Whether you prefer podcasts or YouTube I want get you as much help as I can in supporting your teen. In this seminar I go over how we currently talk to our teens, what that might be communicating to them and finally ideas on how...
2021-03-2256 min
Parenting Decoded28 - Understanding Anxiety in Kids and What Parents Can DoIn this episode I interview Bianca D'Agostino. She's a family and child therapist in Ottawa Canada who has lots of experience help families with issues around anxiety.Learn how to identify and then deal with some common scenarios in dealing with kids and anxiety. Here's the link to Bianca's helpful graphic on the different levels of anxiety, A through F:ANXIETY GRAPHICBianca's contact info and professional information:BIANCA D'GOSTINOEmail me at mary@parentingdecoded.com or go to my website at www.parentingdecoded.co...
2021-03-0956 min
Parenting Decoded27 - Anger Management for Parents SEMINARThis is the audio version of my online seminar which is also available on my YouTube Channel, Parenting Decoded. There is also a YouTube link to this seminar if you'd like to see all the slides that go along with this presentation. YouTube LINK In this expanded conversation we go over tips to handle our anger that is triggered by our children and family situations. The most important of these is setting up a RELATIONSHIP SAFETY TEAM. #1 - YOU#2 - Your Spouse or Partner#3 - Your ChildrenIn each area we...
2021-03-051h 12
Parenting Decoded26 - Lying, Cheating and Stealing: What Parents Should Do At Different Ages and Stages26: Lying, Cheating, and StealingMany parents get very upset when they catch their children lying, stealing, or cheating. We all hate the feeling of betrayal, being lied to, or cheated. But we all lie for lots of reasons. Sometimes to cover up bad behaviours. Other times, we do it out of fear because we want to spare ourselves of punishment or avoid sanctions.The same goes with our young ones. But one thing is certain, it’s often not as intentional as we adults think and do....
2021-02-0823 min
Parenting Decoded25 - Solving Tantrums SEMINARTantrums continue to be a huge problem for parents. Take a listen to this one hour Zoom seminar Mary did with a live audience with lots of practical advice on how to get a handle on tantrums in your home. Learn about:Why tantrums happenWhat to do while the tantrum is happeningWhat to do AFTER the tantrum is overHow to avoid tantrums in the futureIf you'd like to see the full video with slides go to the Parenting Decoded YouTube channel:WATCH VIDEO HEREMood Chart:LINK TO MOOD CHARTEm...
2021-01-251h 08
Parenting Decoded24 - Educational Testing Ideas and IssuesIt’s very difficult as a parent to see our kids struggle either academically or socially. For some of us we feel that our kid is the only one struggling and we have no idea where to turn to. In this podcast I interview Lexie Burnes of NeuroPlay Academics for information about how and when you might look to get your child tested if you suspect something is not quite right. I don't have a transcript yet but here's a link to Lexie's website:http://www.neuroplaybraintraining.com/Email me at mary...
2021-01-0425 min
Parenting Decoded23 - Gift Giving and Kids: How To Create Giving Hearts and Gratitude in Our KidsHolidays and gift giving can bring about so much stress to families who are sucked into the commercialism of our current situation. In this podcast I want to give you all some hints about making gift giving a more heartfelt experience not only from you as the giver but also how to create an attitude of gratitude in our kids who are receiving those gifts. I’ll also go over some ideas about how to handle sibling-to-sibling giving as well as extended family situations which can easily get messy. I’m recording this in the holiday season, but it really...
2020-12-0420 min
Parenting Decoded22 - How to Teach Kids To Be Grateful and Cultivate an Attitude of Gratefulness and Avoid EntitlementKids are self-centered from the get-go, no doubt about it. We have to teach them to be grateful for all that they have, all that we give them. But, how on earth do we do that when there's so much taking and so little giving going on around us? First, I want to talk about entitlement – what it is and how it can grow out of control. Then I’ll go over ideas on how to nurture an attitude of gratitude in your home.Beware of these entitlement issues in your home:1. Giving ins...
2020-11-2018 min
Parenting Decoded21 - Kids Who Want to Quit Sports Or Activities: What Does A Parent Do?Are you having trouble deciding whether to give in to your child's request to quit an activity? Feeling like you might be raising a kid to be a quitter if you do ? Take a listen to help you navigate this touchy subject!It seems that many parents have to cross the threshold of their child wanting to quit an activity. It could be piano, basketball, soccer, violin, clarinet, tutoring, gymnastics, karate, whatever. Sometimes it's just private lessons that only impact your child. Other times, quitting impacts a whole a team which adds a dimension of guilt either by yo...
2020-10-2511 min
Parenting Decoded20 - Creating Calm with Boundaries and LimitsOur kids are smart. They really know how to manipulate us into getting what they want – crying, whining, having tantrums, giving us the silent treatment. It can be overwhelming. In my last podcast we were learning how to use choices early to avoid power struggles from the get-go. In this podcast we’re going to follow along that positive path by using another technique that is a companion to choices – setting boundaries and limits. Kids to better knowing the rules. Here are the guidelines to follow that I cover in this podcast: 1 - Define the boundaries2 - Keep...
2020-10-0407 min
Parenting Decoded19 - Using Choices With Kids to Helps Parents Avoid Power StrugglesDo you feel like you’re always battling your child? You tell them to do something and you immediately get a “no” followed by whining and complaining or outright defiance? A simple request that turns into a war is enough to send us over the edge sometimes. In this podcast I talk about how to avoid power struggles by using a secret weapon -- Choices! When used BEFORE battles start choices can be super effective. If you kids are young, using playful choices when you know things might be difficult for them like transitioning from one locatio...
2020-09-2111 min
Parenting Decoded18 - Distanced Learning During COVIDI'm in California where parents are going through setting up and managing distanced learning in their homes since almost no schools are doing in-person learning. This podcast will cover these areas:1 - Physical LEARNING AREA - how to organize it, get rid of distractions, provide a quiet area to focus, how and when to charge and test devices, and how to keep online safety in your home in mind2 - Establish clear routines - have daily and weekly schedules, post them, have morning and afternoon "check-in" sessions, figure out how to deal with time u...
2020-08-2920 min
Parenting Decoded17 - Calming the Chaos with Family MeetingsMany of us struggle with kids who whine, disobey and maybe even lie just to get their way. We get so exasperated we want to explode and some of us certainly do explode. In this podcast we’ll explore what happens in our families if we’re always operating in “crisis mode” then talk about ways to avoid ever getting into that mode by using Family Meetings to set boundaries and limits while communicating as a family what behaviors are acceptable and expected. Using this step-by-step method you can set a clear path to success for your fa...
2020-08-1316 min
Parenting Decoded16 - Teaching Teens and How to Deal With Money and Avoid EntitlementIn this podcast I’m going to cover issues relating to money with middle and high schoolers. I will go over how to give money and how much, when to give money, and how to set up responsible money habits including how to use an ATM card, checking account, credit cards. Money is a huge challenge for us all and at this stage your high schooler or middle schooler is at a huge crossroads with learning life skills. Dealing with money is a much-neglected skill during these years yet they are the most crucial years to allow as ma...
2020-08-0122 min
Parenting Decoded15 - How Parents Can Teach Younger Kids About Money and How To Set Up Allowance for Ages 2 to 12There are things to do at different ages and stages to help introduce money concepts to your kids so that by the time they graduate from high school they know about budgeting, credit cards and debt. In this podcast, I’ll concentrate on what to do with younger kids, from toddler years up through elementary school using a simple spend-save-share method. Here's a transcript of the podcast: TRANSCRIPTIf you'd like to look at the Pinterest board on Kids and Money here's a link for that: PINTEREST...
2020-07-1010 min
Parenting Decoded14 - Chores - Why and How Kids Should Do Chores and If Parents Should Pay for ChoresI’ve had quite a few people asking me about chores – how to set them up, do you pay for them, how much do you pay, is allowance tied to chores, do I need chore charts with rewards, what do I do if my kid won’t do their chores. In this podcast I want to address all those issues and more. Chores let your kids develop life skills that, if taught well, will launch them into a good place in life. I’ll start with the research behind why chores are important and then I’ll get into the nitty-gri...
2020-06-2423 min
Parenting Decoded13 - Anger Management for Parents: How To Control Your Emotions and Be Calm Dealing With Your KidsIn this episode I talk about the anger in our homes that gets directed at our children and some ideas for how we can get it under control. First, I’ll talk about the impact anger has on our families then three ways to help mitigate anger in your home. Lastly, I’ll give you some fun and creative ideas about how to repair relationships with your kids. Here's a link to IdealistMom.com's article on the "Five Hair Ties" solution for getting positive interactions into your home. https://happyyouhappyfamily.com/angry-mother/To read a trans...
2020-06-0718 minParenting Decoded12 - 5 Rules for Parents of Middle School Kids to Keep Screentime and Electroncs Under ControlIn Part 2, (Podcast 11 is for parents of younger kids) I cover my final 5 rules dealing with older kids when individual cell-phones, laptops and other electronics come in to play by about middle school. Rule 9: Use ContractsRule 10: Use Monitoring SoftwareRule 11: Talk About Online SafetyRule 12: Talk About Social Media and GamingRule 13: Talk about PornHere are links to resources mentioned in the podcast: Helpful Websites for Keeping Up To Datewww.CommonSenseMedia.orgwww.Axis.orgwww.StayHipp.com...
2020-05-2323 minParenting Decoded11 - 8 Rules For Parents of Elementary Kids to Keep Screentime and Electronics Under ControlAs most parents have noticed screens are a constant source of friction in our households that just never seems to end. This podcast is the first of two parts; Part 1 (this podcast) targeting younger families and how to deal with what I call “family screens.” I go over ways we can set up screens in our family in such a way that there are limits with obedience, and if there’s not, how to set up effective consequences. Although the target audience for Part I is parents with toddlers to middle schoolers there are really fundamenta...
2020-04-2919 min
Parenting Decoded10 - Punishment vs. Consequences: What Parents Should Use for Discipline With KidsGetting our kids to obey and comply is a daily struggle for so many. Our classic styles of punishment just seem to be falling on deaf ears these days, doesn't it? You can take stuff away or give time outs until your face turns blue and the next day your kids are right back on their bad behaviors. Right? In this episode we'll talk about why "punishments" are only temporarily effective. Instead, using a combination of Natural Consequences - when something has happened that has enough natural "pain" to it so that the teachable moment for poor b...
2020-04-1421 minParenting Decoded9 - Sibling Rivalry: What Parents Can do When Kids Always FightIn this episode we talk about what good might come from sibling rivalry but then some really practical techniques to use with your kids:not taking sidesseparating our kidsteaching them communication skillssetting aside Special Time I also talk about the very useful technique from Love and Logic Institute called Energy Drain and where to get more information on how to get your own energy back after your kids fight and argue. Here: TRANSCRIPT OF PODCASTHere are the links I refer to in my podcast of other resources:
2020-04-0515 min
Parenting Decoded8 - Nighttime Battles: Teens and TweensIn this podcast we about how to handle sleep for our tweens and teens and why sleep seems to be so difficult for them biologically and socially. I want to give you some ideas about how to react and manage both your expectations and theirs regarding this really essential part of their growing years. With the stresses in our environment today the impact of sleep on our mental health and immune system is super important for us to pay attention to so I hope these ideas will smooth out a few issues in your home. Some highlights:...
2020-03-2911 min
Parenting Decoded7 - Nighttime Battles: Toddler to Elementary Issues With Sleep Schedules and StrugglesThis podcast is for parents of toddlers through elementary school, I have a separate podcast on dealing with issues of sleep and teens so please head there if you have older kids. In this podcast we’ll go through some ideas for moving toward bed, getting ready for bed, turning out the lights and finally ideas for those of you who have kids who wake up at night. With that said, let’s get started.Here: TRANSCRIPT OF PODCASTEmail me at mary@parentingdecoded.com or go to my website at www.parent...
2020-03-2817 min
Parenting Decoded6 - Handling Tantrums in Toddlers and Kids: What A Parent Can Do About Emotions and Getting Kids CalmToday with CoVID-19 virus keeping families in close quarters I wanted to do a special podcast to help with tantrums that might be happening way too often. Tantrums can be so draining and disruptive to happy family life so in this hour of great need I’m going to talk about:· the emotion behind the tantrums · how to set up “calm down” time · how to brainstorm with our kids after meltdown The target for this podcast is parents of toddlers through elementary school so if you have a teen, I’d recommend that you liste...
2020-03-2122 min
Parenting Decoded5 - Food Issues With Teens: What a Parent Should Do With Different Choices and DietsWe often fret about young ones not eating right but things can be just as stressful for parents of teens and tweens. In this episode I talk about what to do when:Teens skip mealsWhen lack of food gets kids emotional or "hangry" as it's commonly calledHow to deal with different diets our kids experiment withEnjoy!Here: TRANSCRIPT OF PODCASTEmail me at mary@parentingdecoded.com or go to my website at www.parentingdecoded.com. Have a blessed rest of your day!
2020-03-1406 minParenting Decoded4 - Food Battles With Toddlers and Elementary Kids - How Parents Can Navigate Getting Kids FedFood battles are so common in families this podcast is dedicated to giving ideas on how to move from battle to harmony at mealtime. Here are some of the items covered:Family Mealtime Rules1. We eat at the table2. We don’t have electronics, toys, or books while we eat 3. If a kid can lift a fork on their own, they need to feed themselves 4. When someone gets up from the table, they are done eatingI go into detail about how to implement each of...
2020-03-1314 minParenting Decoded3 - Building Resilience: Teaching Kids Responsibility and Confidence Through MistakesIn this episode we review a number of different situations where a parent not remembering something allowed their children to become responsible and prove to themselves and their parents that they are capable as well. We also learn how being the "Finder" parent in your household isn't as helpful as we think it is. Finder parents are those parents who know where everything in the house is thus allowing their family members to have a reason to not be responsible for their own stuff. This unthankful job should be abandoned ASAP since we are robbing our children of...
2020-03-0413 minParenting Decoded2 - Teens: Respect, Emotions and Brains or What Parents Need to Know about Brain Science and TeensIn this episode targeted toward parents of teens we'll learn how to deal with disrespect in our home. As part of dealing with disrespect we learn what happens to our teens and tweens when they get upset. We learn about the brain science behind the teen brain that makes maintaining respect in our homes more difficult. We discuss the ways in which parents react to disrespect and how it doesn't work. We will cover how waiting until the emotional moment has passed and putting up with the disrespect for a while will be the...
2020-02-2611 min
Parenting Decoded1 - Helicopter Parenting - Why and What Impact Doing Too Much For Our Kids Has On Confidence and IndependenceDate: 2/25/20Episode #1 - Helicopter ParentingTake a look at how to decode this now classic style of parenting -- the Helicopter Parent. The hovering and nagging are holding our kids back! Learn why we do this and get hints on what to do about it so you can raise a responsible, respectful child to be an independent and amazing adult. HOW WE HELICOPTER - Hovering- Nagging2:30min WHY WE HELICOPTER - three examples- Forgetting a lunch box: a kid might be hungry- Not waking up...
2020-02-2515 min