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Mary Newnham
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THE QUACK
HOW TO AUTHOR: GEORGIA STONE
On today's episode of the mini series, How to Author, I talk to romance novelist, Georgia Stone. (Friendship Fling, The Roommate Rule). We talk about Georgia's journey from Bookstagrammer to self-publishing her first novel, to signing a book deal with Hodder. We discuss writing routines, building author communities, and using social media effectively. It's a bubbly conversation filled with tips and tricks to help any new author. Preorder Georgia's next novel - 'The Roommate Rule' (May 21st 2016) Preorder Mary's debut - 'Amy Elman Doesn't Feel Sexy' Follow us...
2026-01-12
30 min
THE QUACK
HOW TO AUTHOR: FIONA GIBSON
In the first episode of the mini-series 'How to Author', I talk to best-selling novelist Fiona Gibson. ('The Woman Who Ran Away From Everything', 'The Full Nest', 'When Life Gives You Lemons'). We discuss Fiona's author journey, balancing family life, handling negative reviews, and her writing ticks. It's a lively conversation (lots of giggling) with solid advice for any writer. Books You can preorder Fiona's latest book (February 20th) - 'The Woman Who Turned Her Life Around' NOW! You can also preorder my debut - 'Amy Elman Doesn't Feel Sexy'
2026-01-05
35 min
THE QUACK
THE WEEK MY BOOK CAME OUT IN GERMANY
“'This isn’t happiness' is about a woman’s inner turmoil when the intimacy vanishes from a relationship…” *Puffs cigarette* On this week's episode, I try my best to be cool as I launch my book, 'This isn't happiness', in Germany. Visit: TheQuack.Blog Buy: This isn't happiness (German translation) Preorder: Amy Elman Doesn't Feel Sexy (UK version) Follow: @MaryNewnhamWrites
2025-12-17
09 min
THE QUACK
HOW TO AUTHOR: JANUARY 2026
In the lead-up to the launch of my debut novel, Amy Elman Doesn't Feel Sexy, I am asking three established authors for advice about the author life. Join me here on The Quack for the first episode of HOW TO AUTHOR—coming Monday, January 5th. Follow: @marynewnhamwrites Visit: TheQuack.Blog
2025-12-15
00 min
Beyond The Plot Podcast
How Mary Newnham Turned a Blog Into a Book Deal
Today we’re diving into an incredible creative journey with author Mary Newnham! From writing a blog in her twenties to rediscovering storytelling during the pandemic, Mary’s path has been anything but linear—and that’s why it’s so inspiring.We chat about:✨ Her early blogging days✨ Earning a master’s degree in creative writing✨ Protecting your writing time (and why it matters!)✨ The ups and downs of the writing process✨ The moment her debut novel, Amy Elman Doesn’t Feel Sexy, became a realityIf you’re a...
2025-12-03
45 min
THE QUACK
THE STORY OF WRITING A NOVEL PART 4: THE BOOK THAT CAME TO LIFE.
"I, an adult, had made some characters in my head, and now I’m in a boardroom, having a professional discussion with another adult about them..." It's Part 4 of the Story of Writing a Novel, and some remarkable things are starting to happen. Includes a failed therapy session and the creation of a Liverpudlian stripper. (Note: there is some swearing in this episode. Also note, some dialogue has been exaggerated for creative purposes.) Visit | TheQuack.blog Follow| @marynewnhamwrites Preorder | Amy Elman Doesn't Feel Sexy
2025-11-26
11 min
THE QUACK
CAN YOU SURVIVE THE ROMANTIC GETAWAY?
"We paused in front of the bed, where there was a display of red and white balloons." 🇫🇷🎈 I had my first romantic getaway in Paris. I was so concerned about discovering unflattering details about my new boyfriend that I had completely forgotten just how tricky I could be to travel with. Visit | TheQuack.Blog Follow | MaryNewnhamWrites Sound | Soundstripe.com Preorder | Amy Elman Doesn't Feel Sexy
2025-11-12
13 min
THE QUACK
THE STORY OF WRITING A NOVEL PART 3: THE CRINGE ERA.
I couldn't risk wasting time on real men when I had fictional men to worry about. This week, we continue the story writing the book. This is the part where I try to get an agent and fail at dating — also known as 'The Cringe Era'. Listen to Parts 1 and 2 before this episode. Visit | TheQuack.Blog Follow | @MaryNewnhamWrites Skip Introduction | 3:15 Sound | Soundstripe.com Preorder Amy Elman Doesn't Feel Sexy on Amazon
2025-10-29
12 min
THE QUACK
MIND THE GAP: MOVING BACK TO LONDON.
"I should have kids with names and a strong opinion on Peppa Pig, but somehow, at 34, I have found myself back in London..." This week is about my move back to London as a 34-year-old. After leaving with a bad taste in my mouth at 26 (which inspired me to write a terrible poetry book), I never thought I'd come back to live in The Big Smoke, but here I am... maybe it's where I was supposed to be all along. Visit | TheQuack.Blog Preorder | Amy Elman Doesn't Feel...
2025-10-15
09 min
THE QUACK
THE STORY OF WRITING A NOVEL PART 2: LEARNING TO WRITE.
"Oh, Mary, Mary, Mary, how do you expect to be a published author if you can't even score a high grade on a short story?" This week on The Quack, we continue the series 'The Story of Writing a Novel.' I head back to university to do a Master's in creative writing. There is a drama involving my Metamorphosis book and a sharp learning curve about verbs. Preorder Amy Elman Doesn't Feel Sexy. Visit | TheQuack.blog Follow | @MaryNewnhamWrites Sound | Soundstripe.com Link to...
2025-10-01
09 min
THE QUACK
THINGS WE WOULD LIKE TO DO NOW WE'RE NOT SINGLE.
'That’s right, I thought in my haze, I have a boyfriend now.' On this week's Quack, I celebrated my 34th birthday by taking my new boyfriend to his very first spa. Unfortunately, it was not the relaxing experience I had promised... Follow | @MaryNewnhamWrites Visit | TheQuack.blog Music | Soundstripe.com CLICK HERE TO PRE-ORDER AMY ELMAN DOESN'T FEEL SEXY
2025-09-17
11 min
THE QUACK
THE QUACK WILL BE BACK 17th SEPTEMBER
This month has been a bit chaotic, so I will be returning on September 17th with more facepalm stories. Thank you guys! x
2025-08-27
00 min
THE QUACK
SPERM-EXTERMINATORS & OTHER CONTRACEPTIVES
It seemed barbaric, and yet, she was so casual about it, as if she were demonstrating how to season a chicken. With the help of Reddit reviews, I'm choosing my next birth control method. This episode also includes some seriously great ideas for male contraceptives. If you want to know more about birth control, click here. Skip Introduction| 2:04 Sound | soundstripe.com Follow | @MaryNewnhamWrites Visit | TheQuack.Blog Pre-order my debut fiction book, AMY ELMAN DOESN'T FEEL SEXY, on Amazon...
2025-08-13
09 min
THE QUACK
THE STORY OF WRITING A NOVEL PART 1: THE BOOK THAT DIED.
"It would be called Can of Worms. Sunday Times Bestseller list, here I come." In this first episode of the series, I am going back to the very beginning when I attempted my first novel. Skip Introduction | 2:21 Visit | TheQuack.Blog Sound | Soundstripe.com Preorder Amy Elman Doesn't Feel Sexy on Amazon and other popular book stores.
2025-07-30
10 min
THE QUACK
BILLBOARD DAD
I made the mistake of asking Dad, “But do billboards actually work?” I may as well have asked if Tottenham Hotspur was a synchronised swimming team. This week is about growing up in an 80s advertising family and working out what my dad did for work. Skip Intro | 2:11 Visit | TheQuack.Blog Follow | @MaryNewnhamWrites Sound| Soundstripe.com
2025-07-16
08 min
THE QUACK
THE CATHOLIC SCHOOL PROM
"The turnout was 50 girls and 10 terrified boys..." This week is a flashback to my 2010 school prom...which wasn't anything like the ones in the movies. Skip Introduction | 2:27 Follow me | @MaryNewnhamWrites Visit | TheQuack.Blog Sound | Soundstripe.com
2025-07-02
09 min
THE QUACK
FINDING MY TRUE COLOURS AT THE RUGBY.
"I then remembered it wasn't football, so these grown-ups could be trusted not to punch each other in the face..." I went to the rugby final on Saturday, which made me reflect on my football upbringing. Skip Introduction | 2:05 Sound | Soundstripe.com Follow | @marynewnhamwrites Visit | TheQuack.blog
2025-06-18
09 min
THE QUACK
THE GREAT BRITISH BIRTHDAY
“STOP! I LEFT THE CHEESE!” We twisted around and punted back to the boathouse to collect the cheese. 🧀 It's Hermione's birthday, and this year we all went punting in Oxford. I made the mistake of getting in the wrong boat.... Skip Introduction | 1:38 Follow | @MaryNewnhamWrite Read | TheQuack.Blog Sound | Soundstripe.com
2025-06-04
09 min
THE QUACK
MY RETURN TO HINGE
"I was biting into my vegetable kebab when I received a message from the Hinge bloke. I read the top line and rolled my eyes..." It's been over a year since I've been on Hinge, but I'm now back on the dating horse. This is the story of my first online dating experience of 2025. Skip Introduction | 1:50 Read | TheQuack.blog Follow | @marynewnhamwrites Sound | Soundstripe.com
2025-05-21
10 min
THE QUACK
WHEN THE GIRLS WENT TO FRANCE...
"I did wonder, as I was walking around the Eiffel Tower in a red dress, whether, perhaps, I had watched too many movies..." This week on The Quack, I reflect on the face-palm moments from my recent girls' trip to France. Includes a desperate scene of me trying to create a romantic moment by the Eiffel Tower, a game of charades with the Airbnb host, and an AI song about tariffs. Skip Introduction| 2:09 Follow me| @MaryNewnhamWrites Visit | TheQuack.blog Sound | Soundstripe.com
2025-05-07
13 min
THE QUACK
HOW TO COMPLIMENT A STRANGER: THE RESULT.
"3 days into the challenge, I realised I wasn't the dazzling compliment giver I originally thought I was." For Lent, instead of giving up cherry cola Tic-Tacs, I challenged myself to compliment 40 strangers in 40 days. Today, I have the results of how it went. (Not well). Thank you for continuing to support. I have a few deadlines coming up, and so for now, The Quack will be coming out once a fortnight until life gets a little less crazy. On the plus side, I have some exciting novel news, which I will an...
2025-04-23
09 min
THE QUACK
HOW TO STAY SINGLE THIS SUMMER
"Have sex with them. I find they stop laughing at your jokes once they've seen your nipples." The sun is out, and couples are uncuffing, ready for their hot single summer. As an expert singleton, I have a few tips to share... Skip Introduction | 2:22 Visit | TheQuack.Blog Follow me | @marynewnhamwrites Sound | Soundstripe.com
2025-04-16
12 min
THE QUACK
A THURSDAY NIGHT WiTH THE BIG BANG CROWD.
"Are you literally carrying around a focaccia?” Last Thursday night, I went out with my science friends. It was a typical night for any friendship group in their 30s, except (as this is The Quack) there were some face-palm moments. Skip Introduction | 1:28 Follow me | @MaryNewnhamWrites Visit | TheQuack.Blog Sound | Soundstripe.com If you're in London, you must watch News Revue | Link here
2025-04-09
09 min
THE QUACK
IT'S ONLY BANTER...
"I watched with astonishment as boys clumsily worked out that the humour which impressed their mates wasn't necessarily the humour that impressed us girls..." As it was April Fool's this week, I thought I would explore the differences in humour between men and women, particularly when pranking. Skip Introduction | 2:01 Follow me on the Gram | @marynewnhamwrites Visit | The Quack Sound | Soundstripe.com
2025-04-02
09 min
THE QUACK
ARE YOU MOTIVATED YET?
"Like reaching for a diet book when you’re unsatisfied with your body, I leaned into self-help because I was frustrated with my personality." This week's muddled observation is about the self-improvement industry and how I used it during my quatre-life crisis. Skip Introduction | 3:13 Follow Me on Instagram | @marynewnhamwrites Visit Me | THEQUACK.BLOG Sound | Soundstripe.com Sources https://www.zionmarketresearch.com/report/self-improvement-market
2025-03-26
11 min
THE QUACK
DON’T YOU WANT A BABY?
“Let me show you something that will make your ovaries twerk.” This week on The Quack, I contemplate motherhood and whether it is right for me after being traumatised by my 90's singing doll. Also, I take the time to admire the hot dads of the world. 🎈 HAPPY 1ST BIRTHDAY TO AUDIO QUACK 🎈 Skip Intro | 2:21 Follow me on IG @MaryNewnhamWrites Visit and subscribe to The Quack Blog Sound credits | Soundstripe.com
2025-03-19
08 min
THE QUACK
HOBBY HORSE
"I bought a horse in a car park!" Dad texted. It's Cheltenham Festival! I will not be going, but my Dad certainly is. This week is about being an outsider of a horse racing family, and witnessing a hobby that gets out of hand....🏇 The Guardian article | https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2011/dec/30/tony-mccoy-fractured-ribs-taunton Visit The Quack | www.TheQuack.blog Follow me on IG | www.Instagram.com/MaryNewnhamWrites Sound Credit | www.Soundstripe.com
2025-03-12
08 min
THE QUACK
HOW TO COMPLIMENT A STRANGER.
Nobody wants to be the heavy-breathing stalker who whispers to someone, "You have nice long spine." Today's Quack is a muddled observation about complimenting strangers...and why we avoid it. Vist | TheQuack.blog Follow me | @marynewnhamwrites Sound | Soundstripe.com
2025-03-05
08 min
THE QUACK
BRACE FACE
If it wasn’t tricky enough to try and lure a man away from his life of freedom, football, mates and Camden Hells, try adding a brace. This week on The Quack is about the trauma of wearing braces as a teenager, and again as a single woman in her thirties. Follow IG | @MaryNewnhamWrites Visit | TheQuack.blog Sound | Soundstripe.com
2025-02-26
07 min
THE QUACK
JUST A DUMB CRYING WOMAN.
“DON'T YOU DARE SAY JUST. THAT’S THE WOMAN’S CURSE WORD. IT’S JUST…. IT’S JUST...” This week in the Quack, I tell the story of doing a home makeover and all the characters I met, from the Hang Man to the angry sofa man. Skip Intro | 1:38 Sound | Soundstripe.com Follow me | @MaryNenwhamWrites Visit | TheQuack.blog
2025-02-19
11 min
THE QUACK
THE AUDIENCE THAT WENT WRONG.
“I can’t stay any longer. I’m sorry, it’s just not my cup of tea!” This week on The Quack, I reflect on all the times audience members (including myself) have not behaved in the theatre. Skip Introduction | 1:30 Read Here | TheQuack.Blog Sound & Music | Soundstripe.com
2025-02-12
11 min
THE QUACK
HAVE YOU GOT ANY WORK EXPERIENCE?
"I had a striped shirt on because I thought that's what people wore to offices..." In today's Quack, I reflect on the years when I was building up my CV with work experiences...Some experiences were better than others. Read and see photos | TheQuack.blog Skip Introduction | 1:55 Sound & Music | Soundstripe.com Follow me on The Gram | @MARYNEWNHAMWRITES
2025-02-05
10 min
THE QUACK
THE LAYOVER
“You want him to have the pick of the bunch, but he picks you,” Sausage said, waving her fork in the air. Four school friends have brunch and discuss being single in their thirties. Skip Introduction | 1:35 Visit| TheQuack.blog Music | Soundstripe.com
2025-01-29
07 min
THE QUACK
THE MUSICAL THEATRE FAILURE.
🎶Oh, look what I have…. another emotionally unavailable man. 🎶 A passion for musical theatre but without the talent. This week on The Quack, Sex-Ed Tom and I go to see the musical Titanique. And it brings back memories of when I dropped out of theatre school...
2025-01-22
08 min
THE QUACK
SEEKING APPROVAL FROM MY FARROW & BALL MOTHER.
She can list the names of Farrow & Ball paints as if they were her nephews and nieces... This week on The Quack, I'm decorating my bathroom with Hermione. 👯♀️But will my interior designer mum approve of the colour? 🎨👩 Find me on TikTok @MaryNewnham for an attempted ‘before and after’ time-lapse video Skip Introduction | 1:35 Blog | www.TheQuack.blog Sound | Soundstripe.com
2025-01-15
08 min
THE QUACK
#BODYGOALS
"By 5 pm, I was such a hangry goblin that I could have jumped on someone’s shoulders and ripped their head off like the vampire in Twilight." Gym-uary is here, and everyone is pumped! I may groan, but it's far better than the Size 0 trend that was around when I was a teen. Skip Introduction | 1: 54 Visit | www.TheQuack.Blog Sounds & music | Soundstripe.com
2025-01-08
09 min
THE QUACK
HOW TO GET GUTS WITHOUT ALCOHOL
"I realised that if I was ever going to achieve my goal, I either needed singing lessons.... or alcohol." Happy New Year! Today, I am reflecting on my New Year's resolution to try to gain enough courage to perform karaoke while sober. Skip Introduction | 1:30 Read The Quack | Www.TheQuack.blog Music & Sound | Soundstripe.com Book recommendation | This Naked Mind: Control Alcohol by Annie Grace.
2025-01-01
08 min
THE QUACK
A CHRISTMAS TREE FOR ONE.
"If you want to attract attention to yourself, I highly recommend walking around with a tree." This week's episode features a history-ish lesson about the Christmas tree and a very dramatic journey carrying a tree. Check out The Quack for photos of the journey. Skip Introduction | 1:38 Visit | www.TheQuack.Blog Music & SFX | Soundstripe.com Contact | Mary@thequack.blog
2024-12-18
08 min
THE QUACK
'TIS THE SEASON TO FACE THE MUSIC.
"I’m relieved Spotify Wrapped was not around in my school days because my delicate ego would have been smashed to pieces." This week on the Quack is about Spotify Wrapped and how it exposes your true cringe-worthy self. Skip Introduction | 3:05 Visit | www.thequack.blog Sound | Soundstripe.com
2024-12-11
10 min
THE QUACK
THE OFFICE CHRISTMAS PARTY 🎄
If David Cameron were to peep out of his curtain, he would have seen a blob of tangled fairy lights running down the street. The Christmas season is here! 🎄 Today's muddled observation is about how the office Christmas party has changed over the last decade. Featuring a facepalm moment about my first office Christmas party. Skip Introduction | 1:45 Music & SFX | Soundstripe.com Visit The Quack | www.TheQuack.Blog
2024-12-04
10 min
THE QUACK
A DOG NAMED CLEMENTINE
Clementine glared at me as if to say, “Please give her a grandchild.” Today I tell a story about the time Mum adopted an old Cornish Retriever named Clementine. 🐕🦴🌊☀️ Skip Into | 1:50 Sound | Soundstripe.com Blog | TheQuack.blog
2024-11-27
09 min
THE QUACK
HOW TO FIND LOVE WITHOUT DATING APPS.
"DO NOT join a running club!" 🏃♀️ Redownloading Hinge. Deleting Hinge. A rejection from RAYA. How to attract someone without the apps? Skip Introuduction | 2:10 Soundtrack and SFX | Soundstripe.com Blog | TheQuack.Blog
2024-11-20
11 min
THE QUACK
HOW DID THEY SURVIVE WITHOUT PUMPKIN SPICE LATTES?
He took great joy in telling me that the word ‘avocado’ translates into ‘testicle’. A muddled observation about the differences between millennials and boomers. Skip Introduction 2:00. Sound | Soundstripe.come Visit the blog | www.thequack.blog
2024-11-13
08 min
THE QUACK
ARE YOU STILL IN ❤️ WITH NEW YORK?
“There are some smells, but surely you can’t hate the city for that?” said the Man in Finance. This week Sausage and I are in a West Village bar, having a debate with a 'man in finance' about New York. SKIP INTRO | 1:30 SOUNDTRACK & SFX | Soundstripe.com READ THE BLOG | www.TheQuack.Blog QUACK MAP | https://thequack.blog/make-the-quack-map-pink/
2024-11-06
09 min
THE QUACK
WHY AREN'T YOU LAUGHING?
“Move ooon!” The woman next to me heckled. An awkward night in a comedy club; Unanswered questions, a heckler, and an audience who didn't want to laugh. Music & SFX | Soundstripe.com Blog | www.TheQuack.Blog Quack Map | http://thequack.blog/make-the-quack-map-pink/
2024-10-30
09 min
THE QUACK
BEEN THERE. DONE THAT. GOT THE PHOTO.
Meanwhile, Sausage and I attempted to be pinpricked by the Empire State Building’s ariel. This week is about photos and holidays 📷. Hear how my face got turned into a cloud at a New York tourist hot spot ☁️, to queuing for a photo booth in East Village. See photos and videos of the trip on Www.TheQuack.Blog SKIP INTO: 2:50 Music & SFX | Soundstripe.com Blog | TheQuack.blog
2024-10-23
10 min
THE QUACK
GOLDILOCKS AND THE THREE CLUBS.
We tried to dance, but after two songs we felt like school teachers at an out-of-hand raunchy school disco. A hunt for the perfect club in Soho. Skip Into - 3:00 SFX & Music |Soundstripe.com Blog | TheQuack.Blog
2024-10-16
09 min
THE QUACK
WHAT'S A SACK? AND OTHER QUESTIONS ABOUT THE NFL.
"And WHO is that beautiful bald man with the gigantic headset?" This week, my friend, Sian and I went to watch Minnesota Vikings vs. New York Jets. We were left with a lot of questions, and a small crush. 🏈 Skip Intro 2:31 Music and SFX | Soundstripe.com Blog | TheQuack.Blog
2024-10-09
10 min
THE QUACK
MY DREAM PUB - THE KING'S KNEES.
The snacks are NOT deep-fried pig skin with the hair still on. A quick look into what I would change about the Great British pub. Skip Intro | 2:12 Music and SFX | Soundstripe.com Visit The Quack | TheQuack.blog.
2024-10-02
08 min
THE QUACK
SURVIVING FILM SCHOOL
"In hindsight, it would have been easier if I had just smoked pot." In 2010, I went from catholic school to film school. These are the six survival tips I learnt whilst I was there. Skip Intro: 2:14 Soundtrack and Sound Effects | Soundstripe.com Blog | TheQuack.Blog
2024-09-25
08 min
THE QUACK
THE AWKWARD LIFE OF A PEOPLE- PLEASING-PLANT-BASED-PERSON.
"No meat, no fish, no eggs, no dairy…. and no friends..." The awkward date chats and funny restaurant scenarios, when you're a people-pleasing-plant-based-person. Skip into (2:12) Read | TheQuack.Blog Music and soundtrack credit | Soundstripe.com
2024-09-18
09 min
THE QUACK
THIRTY-THREE
"What is that strange ticking noise?" The week I turned thirty-three—A Barbie nightmare, a hot tub chat. beans, and forcing my friends to wear crowns. Skip Introduction (2:00) Soundtrack and sound effects - Soundstripe.com
2024-09-11
08 min
THE QUACK
WHEN YOUR GIRL LEAVES YOU ON THE SHELF.
You sit on the edge of the shelf waiting for Helen to return…. A muddled observation about when your friend falls in love and leaves you on the shelf. (Skip me babbling on. 3:28) Soundtrack and sound effects: Soundstripe.com Visit www.TheQuack.blog
2024-09-04
10 min
THE QUACK
THE NOT-SO-WHOLESOME CALIFORNIAN HOLIDAY.
"All we needed was for one of us to know how to play acoustic guitar and for Dad to tell stories about what it means to be a man… " Skip Intro/Me talking about a UFO sighting. (2:40) Twenty years ago, Mum booked a Californian ranch in an attempt to make us more wholesome....but it didn't quite work out. 🍪 Sound Credit: Soundstripe.com
2024-08-28
08 min
THE QUACK
I CAN'T CALM DOWN - IT'S TAYLOR SWIFT!
"The stadium was full of 91,998 screaming Swifties, plus Amy and Hermione." A facepalm moment about the time I went to the Taylor Swift concert, with my non-swiftie friends. SKIP INTRO 4:00 Soundtrack and sound effects | www.soundstripe.com Visit www.TheQuack.blog
2024-08-21
11 min
THE QUACK
CARROT, MY HALF A LIFETIME FRIEND.
As we walked out of the garage beneath the starry autumn night, I began to think of what to say when Carrot confessed his love to me. 🥕❤️ A story about a friendship that began half a lifetime ago when Carrot had something to say. Includes a great escape. Skip introduction: 2:12 Music/Sound Effects: Soundstripe.com
2024-08-14
08 min
THE QUACK
THE PERFECT MEET-CUTE: FINDING LOVE ON A BUS.
There is something about meeting someone in transit... Stories about finding near-love on transport, featuring the true story of when Sausage met a man on a bus from D.C. to NYC, and when I shared a taxi with a stranger. (You can play a drinking game with the amount of times I say, 'meet cute'). SKIP INTRODUCTION: 2:26 Music and sound effects | Soundstripe.com Visit | TheQuack.blog Email | Mary@thequack.blog
2024-08-07
10 min
THE QUACK
THE TIME I SUNG A DUCK SONG TO JUSTIN ROSE, AND OTHER EMBARRASSING ENCOUNTERS WITH SPORTSMEN.
"The husband looked like a friendly neighbour - the type of man who would rigorously hoover his car mats on a Sunday morning...." Three embarrassing encounters with some of the greatest sportsmen; George Best, Lawrence Dallaglio, and Justin Rose. SKIP INTRO: 1:45 Soundtrack and Sound Effects: Soundstripe.com Visit the blog: THEQUACK.BLOG
2024-07-31
09 min
THE QUACK
HERE'S TO ME, MRS. ROBINSON: IS AGE JUST A NUMBER?
“I’m very into mature women,” he said. I looked behind one shoulder, and then the other, and realised he was talking about me. The night I realised I was seen as a 'mature woman', and a muddled observation about age gaps in relationships. SKIP INTRO: 2:38. Soundtrack and sound effects: Soundstripe.com Visit THEQUACK.BLOG.
2024-07-24
08 min
THE QUACK
SHOULD MEN PAY FOR THE FIRST DATE?
"The bill was placed between us and the dance began..." This is a muddled observation about one of the most controversial topics in dating. Email me what your thoughts.... mary@thequack.blog Music and sound effects: Soundstripe.com.
2024-07-22
08 min
THE QUACK
THE EURO FINAL: THE MUSICAL
...A fan would whack the table in a rhythm, prompting everyone to shout ‘ENGLAND!’ It wasn't exactly Les Misérables, but it did the job. If the day of the Euro Final was a musical... SKIP INTRO: 2:07 Song credits: www.Soundstripe.com
2024-07-17
09 min
THE QUACK
WOULD YOU DATE YOU?
We have a list of what we’re looking for, but is anyone looking for us? Another muddled observation by Mary about dating. (SKIP INTRO 2:12)
2024-07-15
07 min
THE QUACK
BOOBS.
"And perhaps I’m overthinking it, but they seem to stare off in different directions, like the eyes of the Cookie Monster...." A quick look into boobs; the first bra and beyond. SKIP INTRO 2:40 -------------------------------------- Music and sound effects - www.Soundstripe.com
2024-07-10
08 min
THE QUACK
THE STORY OF MATHS AND ME.
"It was there in that terrapin building with Mr. Marcus and his good hair, that I realised that I hated maths and was also not very good at it." A quick look into my horrid and relatable journey of everyone's least favorite subject - mathematics.
2024-07-08
08 min
THE QUACK
32 YEARS OF HURT: LIVING WITH FOOTBALL.
"All I want to do is get rid of the ball, so I can go home and resume Polly’s pool party in Polly Pocket land." A witty observation about living with a football-obsessed family, in a football-obsessed land. (SKIP INTRO 2:29)
2024-07-03
10 min
THE QUACK
WHAT'S YOUR WILD STORY?
"We all need to arm ourselves with at least one crazy life story..." An observation about the need to have a wild story to tell... SKIP INTRO 2:21.
2024-07-01
08 min
THE QUACK
#LIVINGYOURBESTLIFE? WHAT I LEARNT WHEN I MOVED TO AUSTRALIA.
"The problem with moving to Australia was that I had to bring myself with me." The story of when I moved to Australia and the vital life lessons I learnt. Skip Intro 2:44
2024-06-26
08 min
THE QUACK
THE BABY SHOWER AND MY NAGGING EGGS.
"As I ate my plant-based scone, I heard that luring voice coming from an ovary. “You can throw an afternoon tea party too…if you just use one of us." When you're single, 32, and at your friend's baby shower... SKIP INTRO 2:05
2024-06-24
07 min
THE QUACK
THE WEEK I BECAME A CRAZY CAT LADY.
Cats have mastered the subtle art of not giving a f***. Last week I looked after Enzo...This is the story of how I went a little crazy.
2024-06-19
09 min
THE QUACK
AMSTERDAM: A FRIENDSHIP TEST
When Hermione opened her egg sandwich on the Eurostar, I was reminded of why I don't do group holidays. A story about a girls' trip to Amsterdam. (Skip Intro 2:08)
2024-06-17
06 min
THE QUACK
OUT OF 10, HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THIS, MY DEAR?
If the partner’s number is higher than the other, then they get their way... A discussion with Sex Ed Tom about relationship strategies...
2024-06-12
07 min
THE QUACK
THE NOT-SO-GREAT CORNWALL SANDCASTLE COMPETITION
Gran Pat was dragged from her gin and crossword to do the judging. She moved from castle to castle, whilst smoking a cigarette. A childhood memory of when my grandmother judged the family sandcastle competition in Cornwall.
2024-06-10
06 min
THE QUACK
CAN YOU PULL OFF YOUR NAME?
“Everyone always forgets the tzatziki,” Oliver said, very proud of himself. This week it's Hermione's 32nd birthday, and under the grey sky in a field, we talk about our names. Does Oliver suit being an Ollie? Have Millennial parents gone too far with the unique names? Should I call myself MA MA?
2024-06-05
08 min
THE QUACK
THE HOLIDAY: MAKE OR BREAK
During this week away, you discover things about your partner that can only be exposed in such circumstances, like airport security. A look into the types of couple holidays, and where it can all go wrong.
2024-06-03
08 min
THE QUACK
THE WEEKEND I GOT NEW EYES
I knew, even with my eyes closed, he was attempting to build the John Lewis trolley. “Leave it! I will do it when I can see again!” I shouted from the bed. A face palm true story about the weekend I was recovering from laser eye surgery.
2024-05-29
08 min
THE QUACK
A BRIT GIRL GOES ON A WASHINGTON D.C. TOUR
“Now, who here thinks the White House looks small?” Joey asked the group. I shot up my hand. A comical story of my 4-hour tour around Washington D.C. (I'm sorry for the bad accents in this recording).
2024-05-27
06 min
THE QUACK
LOCKER ROOM TALK
I think it's time to MUTE... AND...ARCHIVE.... This week we're laughing at the dating advice and game plans that are offered in the locker room.
2024-05-22
08 min
THE QUACK
AND THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER...?
"Snow, why aren't you whistling when you work anymore?" Here is a quick look into what really happened to those Disney marriages...
2024-05-20
06 min
THE QUACK
MY CATHOLIC CHILDHOOD: THE BODY OF CHRIST IS MADE FROM HARIBO.
I was lured into Catholicism as a child by the promise of pick-and-mix at the end of Sunday Mass. A story about my catholic childhood and my first confession.
2024-05-15
07 min
THE QUACK
HINGE: WHERE WOMEN ARE GOING WRONG
If I wanted to play Where’s Wally, I would buy a Where’s Wally book... Today’s Quack looks into the 5 mistakes women make when trying to attract a mate on Hinge.
2024-05-13
08 min
THE QUACK
WOULD YOU LIVE WITH A MAN AGAIN?
It never occurred to me that I would live by myself again... A little thought. As more of us choose to settle down later, can we adapt to having someone else in our space? To read the blog post visit, TheOxfordQuack.Blog Music credit: Sound Stripe. EILOH_Cool_instrumental & Shimmer_West_instrumental
2024-05-08
08 min
THE QUACK
HINGE: WHERE MEN ARE GOING WRONG
A man posted a video of himself jumping out on his mate. Classic, amusing move. Will it get you laid? No. Three common ways men go wrong when trying to attract women on Hinge.
2024-05-06
07 min
THE QUACK
A SOBER NIGHT IN THE NOTORIOUS INFERNOS.
So, there we were, old as hell, with a threatening net of balloons above our heads, and Backstreet Boys blasting out. A story (and a review), about my sober night in one of London's most infamous clubs.
2024-05-01
10 min
THE QUACK
YOUR PARTNER AND THEIR HOBBIES
"Take a man who says he really really loves cycling…" A quick thought about the role hobbies play in a relationship. Should you have the same hobby, or stay far away from each other's pursuits?
2024-04-29
05 min
THE QUACK
DATING APPS: THE QUICK FLICK OF THE ICK.
"...then I’m replaceable with another, Blonde-Avocado-Toast-Munching-30-Something-Year-Old...." Has the disposable nature of dating apps made it too easy to get the ick?
2024-04-24
08 min
THE QUACK
MARATHONS: THIS IS GETTING OUT OF HAND
Sponsor Stu, he’s going to run three marathons in one day with a wasp nest on his head. A quick observation into marathons.
2024-04-22
05 min
THE QUACK
A CRUISE TO RUSSIA: THE LAST FAMILY HOLIDAY
"Each night they would emerge red-eyed at the dinner table, once with a confession that one of them had vomited on the side of the ship." A true story about an awkward teenager on her last family holiday.
2024-04-17
08 min
THE QUACK
A CRUISE TO RUSSIA: THE LAST FAMILY HOLIDAY
I was sixteen, brace-faced, and was tortured by how far away the Baltic Sea was from my Mcfly-haired boyfriend. A true story about an awkward teenager on her last family holiday.
2024-04-17
08 min
THE QUACK
THE HINGE SERIES. 2 WEEKS ON HINGE : MY OBSERVATIONS
“Now the trick is to not overthink it..." An observation of the first two weeks on the dating app, Hinge. Music: EILOH Cool instrumental / soundstripe.com
2024-04-15
07 min
THE QUACK
THE TIME I FED THERESA MAY A FINGER SANDWICH.
When it was my turn to balance the five plates, all the plastic carrots rolled off onto the floor. This a story about the time I was an events waitress in London.
2024-04-10
08 min
THE QUACK
YOU'VE GOT A CAR? THAT DON'T IMPRESS ME MUCH.
At the end of the day, cars are just lumps of steel bent in different ways. An observation about cars, and why they are not so great.
2024-04-08
07 min
THE QUACK
HOW WOULD YOU SPEND YOUR FINAL 100 DAYS OF BEING SINGLE?
Oh, that’s nice, you think, and then go back to plucking your toe hair. A shallow dive into the highlights of living a single life. Read it here TheOxfordQuack.Blog
2024-04-03
10 min
THE QUACK
LIFE ADVICE IN SOHO
"At that moment I wanted to run out of the pub, out of Soho, and jump into the Thames...." A short (embarrassing) story about a dad and daughter in Soho.
2024-04-01
07 min
THE QUACK
MY WORST FLIGHT EVER: MR MIDDLE SEAT VS ME
“Excuse me Sir, I think you’ll find this is my seat...” You can be the most prepared traveller but can't prepare for the passanger you are sitting next to....
2024-03-27
09 min
THE QUACK
SPEED DATING IN WASHINGTON D.C.
I had this fantasy of what the event would be like; a dimly lit rooftop bar filled with men in suits, who say words like ‘congress’.... Two 31-year-old women attempt speed dating in Washington D.C.
2024-03-25
08 min
THE QUACK
THAT TIME I WENT TO FREEZE MY EGGS
On the scale of Laa-Laa the Tellytubby having a good time on the hill, to Carrie unleashing her powers in her school hall killing all of her classmates…how crazy are these hormones going to make me?" This week's story is about the time I investigated freezing my eggs; including some sound advice from my mother.
2024-03-20
10 min
THE QUACK
SPICE GIRLS IN PALMA
"It was when Hermione was spinning on the spot in her odd socks at Heathrow, that I questioned how I agreed to another group holiday...." A girls' trip to Palma; where we find out Amy's long list of requirements for a normal man, plus a hysterical visit to the police station.
2024-03-17
07 min
THE QUACK
SOUTH WEST LONDON FOREVER
A nostalgic look back to my houseshare days in South West London. "Our temporary family began in 2014. The city was gin-obsessed, and all the Flat White-sipping millennials had made base south of the river." Read the blog www.TheOxfordQuack.blog
2024-03-13
06 min
Danielle Newnham Podcast
Dr Mary Lou Jepsen: Curing Cancer, and Human Telepathy (REPLAY)
This is a REPLAY of last year's episode with Dr. Mary Lou Jepsen – serial entrepreneur, inventor, pioneer in VR, medical imaging and telepathic technology, former professor at MIT Media Lab and currently, founder of Openwater.Mary Lou spent many of her childhood years unwell before she was finally diagnosed with a brain tumour in her twenties. And going through that had a huge impact on her life as you might expect. For the many years she was quite literally dying, she decided she only wanted to work on really interesting projects - as she says to me in th...
2023-08-10
52 min
Danielle Newnham Podcast
Dr Mary Lou Jepsen: Curing Cancer, and Human Telepathy
Today’s guest is Dr. Mary Lou Jepsen – serial entrepreneur, inventor, pioneer in VR, medical imaging and telepathic technology, former professor at MIT Media Lab and currently, founder of Openwater.Mary Lou spent many of her childhood years unwell before she was finally diagnosed with a brain tumour in her twenties. And going through that had a huge impact on her life as you might expect. For the many years she was quite literally dying, she decided she only wanted to work on really interesting projects - as she says to me in this interview, “I never really th...
2022-05-31
52 min