Shows
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsGetting Real About Grief ‘Coaching’; Why I Do This & Why I Do it DifferentlyWelcome today fellow griever. I appreciate you, I see you and thank you so much for listening and if you can, please ---Support the showToday, I’m taking you behind the scenes — not just of the podcast, but of why I do all of this.Spoiler alert: it’s not about making six figures. Not even close to what it's about! It started with a mic, a grieving heart, and the hope that I could create the kind of podcast I couldn’t find after losing my son Alex to suicide. And in many way...2025-06-1513 min
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsNew Ways to Heal Together; What’s New at The Leftover PiecesWelcome today fellow griever. I appreciate you, I see you and thank you so much for listening and if you can, please ---Support the showYou may have seen soft mentions of some new things I’ve been building — maybe in your inbox or on social — and today I’m diving all the way in. If this is the first you’re hearing of it, then welcome — you’re right on time.In this heart-led episode of Down the Rabbit Hole, I’m walking you through what’s new — and what’s next — here at The Leftover Pie...2025-06-0111 min
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsWelcome to May 31; "We're All Mad Here" DAILY Mental Health Nugget"Hello --It is May 31st and welcome to Wonderland Fellow Griever. — “You’ve just stepped Down the Rabbit Hole — where mental health meets madness after loss. This is your daily dose of truth, grief, and yes, just the right bit of madness.”WEEK 5: The FINALE for may 2025 Daily NuggetsDay 31: Today’s truth is: "You're still here. That matters." Idea: Completion, continuation, and gratitude. Day 31. We made it. This is something! THANK YOUYou've shown up—for 31 days—inside your grief, your heart, and your truth...2025-05-3105 min
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsWelcome to May 30; "We're All Mad Here" DAILY Mental Health Nugget"Hello --It is May 30th and welcome to Wonderland Fellow Griever. — “You’ve just stepped Down the Rabbit Hole — where mental health meets madness after loss. This is your daily dose of truth, grief, and yes, just the right bit of madness.”WEEK 5: The 3 Day Wrap -up for the MonthDay 30: Today’s truth is: "Life, what is it but a dream?" Idea: The surreal nature of life after loss. Grief makes reality feel hazy — like you're walking through someone else's life. Or maybe the world is continuing witho...2025-05-3004 min
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsWelcome to May 29; "We're All Mad Here" DAILY Mental Health Nugget"Hello --It is May 29th and welcome to Wonderland Fellow Griever. — “You’ve just stepped Down the Rabbit Hole — where mental health meets madness after loss. This is your daily dose of truth, grief, and yes, just the right bit of madness.”WEEK 5: The 3 Day Wrap -up for the MonthDay 29: Today’s truth is: (Finale echo) "I can't go back to yesterday..." Idea: Reinforcing transformation.We began this month with this truth and return to it now — because some truths don’t get easier, only more famili...2025-05-2903 min
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsWelcome to May 28; "We're All Mad Here" DAILY Mental Health Nugget"Hello --It is May 28th and welcome to Wonderland Fellow Griever. — “You’ve just stepped Down the Rabbit Hole — where mental health meets madness after loss. This is your daily dose of truth, grief, and yes, just the right bit of madness.”WEEK 4: Resilience & ReclamationDay 28: Today’s truth is: "Why did you come out here at all?" Idea: The isolation of grief. There are days when grief makes you question your place in the world. You might feel like a shadow of yourself. Or like a misfit in ever...2025-05-2804 min
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsWelcome to May 27; "We're All Mad Here" DAILY Mental Health Nugget"Hello --It is May 27th and welcome to Wonderland Fellow Griever. — “You’ve just stepped Down the Rabbit Hole — where mental health meets madness after loss. This is your daily dose of truth, grief, and yes, just the right bit of madness.”WEEK 4: Resilience & ReclamationDay 27: Today’s truth is: "It sounds uncommon nonsense." Idea: Navigating unhelpful advice. Grief comes with opinions — often terrible ones. "Everything happens for a reason." "They wouldn't want you to be sad." "At least you have other children."Let's name that for what i...2025-05-2704 min
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsWelcome to May 26; "We're All Mad Here" DAILY Mental Health Nugget"Hello --It is May 26th and welcome to Wonderland Fellow Griever. — “You’ve just stepped Down the Rabbit Hole — where mental health meets madness after loss. This is your daily dose of truth, grief, and yes, just the right bit of madness.”WEEK 4: Resilience & ReclamationDay 26: Today's truth is: "I shall be punished... by being drowned in my own tears." Idea: Emotional overwhelm.Have you ever felt like grief might consume you? If you let it in, would it pull you under for good?You're not alone...2025-05-2603 min
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsWelcome to May 25; "We're All Mad Here" DAILY Mental Health Nugget"Hello --It is May 25th and welcome to Wonderland Fellow Griever. — “You’ve just stepped Down the Rabbit Hole — where mental health meets madness after loss. This is your daily dose of truth, grief, and yes, just the right bit of madness.”WEEK 4: Resilience & ReclamationDay 25: Today’s truth is: "Why is a raven like a writing desk?" Idea: Unanswerable questions. This is one of those questions that has no answer. It's a shared experience, much like the ones we ask in grief: Why my loved one? Why then? Why...2025-05-2504 min
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsWelcome to May 24; "We're All Mad Here" DAILY Mental Health Nugget"Hello --It is May 24th and welcome to Wonderland Fellow Griever. — “You’ve just stepped Down the Rabbit Hole — where mental health meets madness after loss. This is your daily dose of truth, grief, and yes, just the right bit of madness.”WEEK 4: Resilience & ReclamationDay 24: Today’s truth is: "Then you shouldn't talk." Idea: The silence around grief. Sometimes, we silence ourselves — afraid to be too heavy, sad, or too much. It's not easy to express these emotions; we all struggle with it. Other times, the world silences...2025-05-2404 min
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsWelcome to May 23; "We're All Mad Here" DAILY Mental Health Nugget"Hello --It is May 23rd and welcome to Wonderland Fellow Griever. — “You’ve just stepped Down the Rabbit Hole — where mental health meets madness after loss. This is your daily dose of truth, grief, and yes, just the right bit of madness.”WEEK 3: Control & SurrenderDay 23: Today’s truth is: "Try again: draw a long breath..." Idea: Starting over. Some days, you start over five times before noon. And that’s okay. Grief doesn’t care about linear progress — it just asks that you show up, in whatever form that m...2025-05-2304 min
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsWelcome to May 22; "We're All Mad Here" DAILY Mental Health Nugget"Hello --It is May 22nd and welcome to Wonderland Fellow Griever. — “You’ve just stepped Down the Rabbit Hole — where mental health meets madness after loss. This is your daily dose of truth, grief, and yes, just the right bit of madness.”WEEK 4: Resilience & ReclamationDay 22: Today’s truth is: "It's a poor sort of memory that only works backwards." Idea: Creating forward-looking memories.Grief keeps us anchored in the past—the moments before, the final day, the last words. That's not wrong, but it can feel like we're tra...2025-05-2204 min
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsWelcome to May 21; "We're All Mad Here" DAILY Mental Health Nugget"Hello --It is May 21st and welcome to Wonderland Fellow Griever. — “You’ve just stepped Down the Rabbit Hole — where mental health meets madness after loss. This is your daily dose of truth, grief, and yes, just the right bit of madness.”WEEK 3: Control & SurrenderDay 21: Today’s truth (revisited) is: "I can't go back to yesterday..." Idea: Accepting life as it is now. Let's revisit this truth: You can't go back. And it's cruel — because back there is where your loved one still lived. The pain of this loss is...2025-05-2104 min
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsRemembering Her Friend Coble; A Brave Voice on Grief, Growth & Mental HealthSupport the showToday I speak with Lauren Wood, a (super brave) third year Human Services student at Northeastern University in Boston, passionate about social justice, equal mental health access, and (naturally) suicide prevention. Lauren opens up about losing her dear friend Coble to suicide when she was just a senior in high school—an event that shattered her world and changed the trajectory of her life. Now, years later, she is leaning into the hard work of healing while actively building a future in advocacy and mental health support.She shares "I am i...2025-05-191h 14
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsWelcome to May 19; "We're All Mad Here" DAILY Mental Health Nugget"Hello --It is May 19th, and welcome to Wonderland Fellow Griever. — "You've just stepped Down the Rabbit Hole — where mental health meets madness after loss. This is your daily dose of truth, grief, and yes, just the right bit of madness."WEEK 3: Control & SurrenderDay 19: Today's truth is: "Everything's got a moral...if only you can find it." Idea: Today, we're exploring the powerful concept of finding meaning in the midst of loss. People love to wrap loss in platitudes. "Everything happens for a reason." "They're in a bette...2025-05-1904 min
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsWelcome to May 18; "We're All Mad Here" DAILY Mental Health Nugget"Hello --It is May 18th and welcome to Wonderland Fellow Griever. — “You’ve just stepped Down the Rabbit Hole — where mental health meets madness after loss. This is your daily dose of truth, grief, and yes, just the right bit of madness.”WEEK 3: Control & SurrenderDay 18: Today’s truth is: "If everybody minded their own business..." Idea: Setting boundaries.Oh, the unsolicited advice grievers get can be overwhelming. People have their opinions on how you should grieve or when to move on, and it can all feel so draining...2025-05-1803 min
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsWelcome to May 1; "We're All Mad Here" DAILY Mental Health NuggetHello Fellow Griever— Welcome to this special Down the Rabbit Hole series I'm calling “Welcome to May – We’re All Mad Here.” [P.S... Like this podcast? Support the show by clicking...thank you]If you're new here, I’m Melissa, a suicide loss survivor and a bereaved mom myself. I’m also a grief coach, and the host of this podcast The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss Conversations podcast. And this month — this Mental Health Awareness Month — I’m doing something a little different.Every. Si...2025-05-0208 min
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsThe Grief Seasons; Wintering & the Value in HibernationToday I tackle another precarious topic in life after suicide loss --remember, as always, take what serves you, and leave the rest. In today's Down the Rabbit Hole, I discuss this topic of what I call the "Wintering" and Grief Seasons. It's not a long one, but something to think about! Come with me today and let's explore grieving through all of the seasons, but today, we take on "Winter" - or looking ahead to "un-wintering", with all of its intricacies and nuances ...and the promise of Spr...2025-03-2521 min
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsSuicide Loss Widow Michelle Collins; What it Looks Like to Inhabit JoyToday I speak with Michelle. Michelle lost her husband to suicide in April of 2016 - and she has so much to share about loss, life & mindfulness in the surviving places! She is an incredible light of a soul, and I am so glad we connected & even happier that I get to share her wisdom with you.... she says it but I agree, we feel like 'soul sisters'. Be sure to see all of the Links to books etc. that we mention below!Here are just some of the things we...2025-02-261h 07
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss Conversations(Last) Daily Nugget January 31; Philosophy as Medicine for the SoulAs a sort of "Re-Boot" for The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss Conversations podcast after taking the last 6 weeks of 2024 "off" I am choosing to 'start over' this way .... please listen weekly to Down the Rabbit Hole episodes dropped at the start of each week and / or listen daily to these readings from The Daily Stoic-- nuggets as I call them -- of wisdom passed along from Ryan Holiday. Stephen Hanselman and the ancient Greek Philosophers such as Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus and Seneca. I hope you will do both. I hope...2025-01-3111 min
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsSharing Our Story Matters; The How Muches, the Whens & the WhysToday I tackle another precarious topic in life after suicide loss --remember, as always, take what serves you, and leave the rest. In today's Down the Rabbit Hole, I discuss this topic of sharing our loss story --- and even greater, the story of our loved one and their life and impact on the world left behind. It matters, but why you ask? How do we gracefully navigate, deal with the unimaginable when it becomes reality? Come with me today and let's explore wh...2025-01-2023 min
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsFinding New Years Hope; Why it Feels Like a ChupacabraToday I tackle a doozy -- HOPE. Why is it such a tricky, sneaky thing?? Mythical like a Chupacabra, a Sasquatch or Nessy, right? It can technically be found all around us, in the smallest of places... a sunny day, a kind word, an unexpected flower on our walk... and yet, it seems to elude so many of us. The problem lies in the fact that we have to allow it in -- we have to WANT to find hope before it will be there. We must choose it. UGH. Right?2025-01-1426 min
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss Conversations"The REST of My Story; Was It Free Will, or Not"SPECIAL NEW EPISODE DROP! New today! This is Part 1 of 3 (the other two will be released only two days after the previous one). I am getting very 'up close and personal' as I do something I have not done since I began the podcast in 2020-- tell "the rest of my story." Putting this out there has taken way more 'guts' than I anticipated. I have been sitting on this episode, frozen, for over a week. Even eight years in, it seems I am still learning about m...2024-08-1449 min
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsJosh Halu of Psychedelic Exchange; Plant Medicine & Trauma TreatmentToday, I share my conversation with the Founder of PsycheX, Josh Halu, and his invited guest, suicide loss survivor-mom Natika Terrell. Plant Medicine has gotten a bad rap, becoming stigmatized in 'hippie culture' that led to government bans, which are (thankfully) now beginning to disappear, allowing for unparalleled mental health research and incredible breakthroughs! I did not step into this topic lightly. While I have been curious for a while (as I know several people who have greatly benefited from psychedelics), allowing that stigma to play a role, I have kept it at arms distance at best...2024-04-221h 45
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsListen to Me as a Guest; Learn From People Who Lived It PodcastToday I am sharing my guest appearance with host Mathew Blades & Dr. Frank Bevacqua on the "Learn from People Who Lived It" Podcast.LISTEN to THIS EPISODE HERE Below I have copied Mathew's show notes from this episode: Putting the Pieces Back Together with Melissa Bottorff-AreyIn this episode, you'll hear:How Melissa was able to make peace with the guilt she had over the incidentWhat she would have done differently and what it looks like to be a "safe...2023-10-2410 min
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsWidow Abby Dart Speaks Up; 19 Years After Husband’s SuicideToday I have a poignant conversation with Abby Dart... a suicide widow of 19 years. Her husband Steve died by suicide in 2004 when her 5 children were only 8,10, 12, 13 & 17 (now, 26,29,31,32, & 36 to put it in perspective). Because Steve was in the public eye (in politics) and they had to figure out to grieve publicly while trying to find private time as a family. We pack a LOT into our time together and this was a very enlightening chat."I wonder if I'm just still trying to find myself. Because I feel I was robbed of my future, I...2023-09-171h 07
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsLife After Suicide Loss; Will Our 'Old Self" Ever Be Relevant Again?Today I go "down the rabbit hole" to discuss a touchy subject ... or at least a difficult and complicated one. But this is a difficult and complicated journey, isn't it? Today I discuss my thoughts on if our "before" - our old life and self - will ever be relevant again. You will hear me discuss:The first three years - survival, hope and healing.Grief Vs Complicated (or Unresolved) GriefGrieving Vs Trauma - yes, they are different.and more ...And speaking of this loss and the trauma associated with it... do yo...2023-09-1124 min
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsThe Words in Life After Suicide; Do You Say Angelversary or Death Day?Today I go down the rabbit hole to discuss the words we choose, and why, and how do we even ever become more comfortable with talking about this and saying or choosing the words that we are OK with? You will hear me discuss:The words we choose to refer to their birthday and the day they died.Why we choose these words.Is there a right or wrong thing to say? How to grow forward in this area -- and our griefWhy knowledge = powerand more ...And speaking of the trauma... do yo...2023-08-2127 min
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsHealing vs. Grief OR Brain vs. Mind; Our Life after Suicide LossToday we are going to break this down -- how are healing and grief different? Do we heal our grief? Is trauma and grief the same? What do we do with the sadness and love that live alongside each other ?? You will hear me discuss:The differences between grief and traumagrowing in grief v healing traumaWhat time passing does (and doesn't) dothe common places we get "stuck" in our healing (& whY)My Trauma healing course (see link below) and more ...FIND my "Growth in Grief; Healing our Mind, Body & Spirit" C...2023-07-3034 min
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsLife After Suicide Loss of a Child; The 3 Universal Needs Moms ShareToday I go "down the rabbit hole" to discuss a topic near and dear to my heart. As a mom who lost a child by suicide myself, I have become increasingly aware that while we moms definitely have some different needs we do seem to share 3 common ones. We need: Resources - at the time of loss & beyond to help us find all of the places for help, healing & information Community - a place to connect, grieve & grow with other moms who understand our loss (& by proxy, understand us)Legacy - the need to find ways to ensure ou...2023-07-0319 min
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsTalking with Two Stepdads; Leaning Into the Love AND the LossToday I talk frankly with two amazing Stepdads about the loss of their stepsons by suicide and everything surrounding that loss. We often hear it said that the world 'forgets' about siblings after loss, but I think stepparents are often overlooked just as much --- if not more -- and yet they often are the ones holding us all together despite carrying their own enormous grief and pain. It was my pleasure to give them a voice and have this amazingly insightful conversation with these two men.Dave Wiebe lives in Brandon, Manitoba, Canada with his wife...2023-06-271h 17
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsIs "Suicide Prevention" the Right Messaging; What ARE the Alternatives?Today I go "down the rabbit hole" to discuss a topic many of us suicide loss survivors discuss often -- Suicide Prevention -- and what DOES it mean? It sure comes off as shameful more than helpful a lot -- or does it? Are we just too sensitive?? Well, I don't think so, BUT I also think we have to lead the effort to change the messaging because most people in charge of it -- just don't get it, for a good reason - they haven't experienced a suicide loss - so, "we" have to be willing to lead t...2023-06-1926 min
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsLet's Go Down the Rabbit Hole; Ask Melissa Suicide Loss Q & A SessionAsk me a question about suicide loss, the podcast, my support communities, my kids ...I am an open book.Get it answered from the Rabbit Hole in today's Q & A Segment. I will only read your first name (or you can put anonymous) THANK YOU of your submission.Please submit questions now for the March 26, 2023 Q & A Episode at THIS LINK Thank you for listening and I hope you are taking good care of yourself. TALK SOON! _____________________________________________ My ...2023-02-2627 min
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsLisa Marie Presley: WHY Her Death Derailed MeI go "Down the Rabbit Hole" today for Lisa Marie. I did not know Lisa Marie Presley. We were both born in 1968 and the whole world cried when she lost her father. We "watched" her life - the good, the bad and the ugly from that gaudy front row media seat. But I did not ever know her or even meet her...so why did her death bring me to my knees 10 days ago?? I always thought she was amazing - soulful and gutsy and honest. She was a tormented but authentic rebel, and I...2023-01-2331 min
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsMovies, Series & Documentaries; About Suicide Loss & GriefWe regularly find suicide as a subject matter on TV and in film these days...or at least more than we did once. I am going to dive down the rabbit hole to talk about my suggestions and cautions - and a few hard "no's".When you watch movies with a theme toward suicide or death, does the content activate you or help you? Since the reasons these films, or shows, are made can be so diverse - to educate, to cause fear or shock or disgust, or even to provoke or bring about change and awareness - s...2022-09-2737 min
Stories With a Sunday RoastAn Executive Chef and An Old-Fashioned Kitchen Stool with Melissa Bottorff-AreyBeing in the kitchen and having a love for food was fostered in today’s podcast guest, Melissa Bottorff-Arey, from a very young age. She joins Linda and shares her story of becoming an executive chef and what growing up in the kitchen looked like for her. Listen as they talk about:Learning to cook from a metal stool at her grandmother’s apron stringsSteering away from the food industry during college but eventually finding her way backBeing an executive chef for the BNSF railway and the unique opportunities she got to experienceThe differences in her grandparents’ home, but re...2022-09-1049 min
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsMy Carefully Cultivated Life: Rebuilding After Suicide LossToday I is one of my short, solo episodes where I "go down the rabbit hole" to talk about life after suicide loss. Specifically today I am talking about my life as I have intentionally, carefully cultivated it so that I can thrive after this unimaginable loss - in a life I never wanted and didn't ask for. This is a hard and brutal journey we are on but with support and tools and time - it's possible to learn to live again - even finding meaning and happiness. The suicide loss of my son forever changed...2022-08-1423 min
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsSix Years Later; My Family Sits Down to ReflectToday is an extra personal episode … we are officially kicking off Season 4. This season comes out as our family hits 6 years since my 21-year-old son Alex died by suicide. For this season premiere episode, I sat down in a Zoom-style quasi-round-table-talk with (some of ) my family to revisit & review not only where we are now but also what the journey of the past 6 years has looked like for us, collectively and individually. Surviving suicide loss is anything but easy -but doing it together helps.In this episode, I chat with: G.R. - m...2022-08-111h 19
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsSeason 3 Recap; Meaningful Conversations RevisitedToday I review all of the conversations and content of Season 3 as I look ahead to Season 4. This is meant to be an overview for you, the listener, in case you haven't heard them all - you may discover an episode that you need to hear. Or, it may serve as a reminder of one you would like to listen to again. For me, It also serves as a way to revisit how grateful I am that each one of these incredible people shared their time and story with me so that we all might learn, grow...2022-07-2535 min
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsGrief Waves Years After Loss; Different or the Same?Today I go “down the rabbit hole” to talk about when those 'grief waves' hit me even years (over 5 & 1/2 years) after the loss of my son to suicide. Are they they different now or the same as in the early days? I talk about feeling your emotions - I believe it's the best way to Even later - even forever - it is stil "ok" to cry and scream and miss then with ALL OF YOU ... there is NO F***ING TIMELINE for loving someone. BUT, how do the bad days or grief waves look...2022-05-1623 min
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsSeason Two ReCap; What Did You Miss?Today I review Season 2 as I prepare to launch Season 3 in a few weeks. There are certainly some great life lessons and tools to take away - and wonderful connections. HERE IS THE LINK to The Podcast itselfHere is a list of the CONVERSATIONS with corresponding episode and release date to help. I am not detailing the Rabbit Hole episodes here, but I DO recap them in this podcast episode:Episode 1 - June 6 - Dr Joshua Black - Grief Dreams Specialist Episode 3 - June 20 Jamie F...2022-01-0233 min
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsSynchronicities and Redefined Motherhood; Reality After Suicide LossToday, at the end of Season 2, I go (deep) 'down the rabbit hole' to discuss reality in this solo episode. Since losing your loved one to suicide have you ever questioned reality? I know the edge of reality -and ‘someplace else’ - is a place I have often found myself firmly standing since the loss of my son Alex to suicide in 2016. This has happened for a few reasons I think. I think synchronicities are partially to blame & the understanding of life & our connection to the afterlife as well. This is a deep topic - I know I only...2021-12-2723 min
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsThe Ho (Ho) Hum(bug); Holidays After Suicide LossToday, I talk about the holidays after suicide loss and how we can approach them - you see there really is no 'should do's' only "could do's" -- remember -- your journey, your way. I will also dispense with the notion that many of us didn't (somewhat) dread the holiday season before - you know all of the stress and money and expectations and family and, and and... right? BUT, no doubt there was also joy and fun and irreplaceable memories. So, after loss, many of us just face the whole notion "what's the point" OR "why bother" because we...2021-11-2829 min
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsToward Hope After Suicide Loss; The What, Why and HowToday I go "down the rabbit hole" to discuss HOPE. Suicide loss survivors struggle heavily with allowing hope back into their lives. I know that I choose to sit in hopelessness too long. So why is hope so important? Why do we need and how we get it -- and I even give you a tool to help facilitate taking the steps toward it! I could not find a link that I loved to show you where to place your hands - it is because I didn't just take it from the internet, I learned this in...2021-11-2221 min
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsA Mother's Love is Forever; Calvin's Legacy Lives OnToday, I have the unique privilege of having a conversation with a podcast listener. Vickie Stam and I began messaging earlier this year after she reached out to tell me that she was enjoying the podcast. Vickie lost her 31 year old son Calvin to suicide on Dec 9, 2019. She is a bubbly, genuine and warm soul. It became obvious to us fairly soon after she reached out that our sons connected us and they continue to communicate that through music shared for us! I appreciate our connection so much and am honored to share her brave journey through grief. 2021-11-071h 00
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsContact with Spirit; Down the "Psychic" Rabbit Hole for HalloweenThis episode release on HALLOWEEN 2021 - so, Happy Halloween! Now that we have had a whole week of Instagram Posts, a live pop ins .... HERE is the HALLOWEEN SPECIAL EDITION RABBIT HOLE. Why did I "do" this whole week of spooky, fear-themed post? Well, because grief and fear and spirits and sad, dark and terrifying things all happen this time of year. AND because I love Halloween and because I can, honestly. I hope you found something of value - or insightful - or even fun this week!Today, I go "down the rabbit hole" and take a...2021-10-3119 min
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsFear and Grief after Suicide Loss; Where they IntersectToday I dig into the topic of fear and grief. They are intertwined, so how appropriate is the tie into Halloween? This episode is coming out the week leading up to Halloween 2021. I am planning a whole week of Instagram Posts, Live pop ins and even a Special Halloween Edition of "Down the Rabbit Hole" Episode next week - WHY you ask? Well, because grief and fear and spirits and sad, dark and terrifying things all happen this time of year. AND because I love Halloween and because I can honestly. I hope you find something of value...2021-10-2517 min
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsAllowing Her Loss to "Count"; How Art Became Laura's TherapyLaura lost her ex-boyfriend to suicide - does that "count"? Can she still grieve? Is that "OK"? Well, OF COURSE IT IS! But Laura and I talk about her unique perspective and how the past four years have transformed her. There is a lot to unpack with this spirited English woman who now teaches art to children in Entebbe, Uganda. She talks about stigmas, delayed grief and art as therapy. This is a powerful conversation. I am grateful for Laura being willing to share a part of herself with us. You can find Laura on Instagram at...2021-10-191h 10
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsTo Watch or Not to Watch; Suicide as Subject Matter on ScreenWe regularly find suicide as a subject matter on TV and in film these days. But since suicide is such a pervading theme in this life we now live, the question remains - to watch or not? Does the content activate you or help you? Since the reasons these films, or shows, are made can be so diverse - to educate, to cause fear or shock or disgust, or even to provoke or bring about change and awareness - so are our reasons for choosing, or not choosing, to watch them.Today, I explore and discuss some o...2021-10-1022 min
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsGrief Began Before Loss: Suzanne Howes' StoryToday I speak to a mom who lost her son to suicide just over a year ago. Suzanne lost her 17 year old son Samuel to suicide on 2nd September 2020. Samuel struggled with his mental health for 4 years prior to his death which had a huge impact on Suzanne and her family. Suzanne is determined to make a difference in Samuel's name and support others who have travelled this lonely path. Suzanne set up www.coachingafterloss.com to create a safe space for those who have suffered loss to explore their challenges, rebuild their confidence and f...2021-10-031h 02
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsWhat If It's All in Our Minds; The Path to Less SufferingToday I dive DEEP into the rabbit hole and discuss perception vs reality and if they are one in the same. I talk about where I am in this grief journey and the evolution of my thoughts on what we have the power over with regard to grief - in my opinion. I think that the real destruction lies in allowing ourselves to go on auto-pilot - you know when we are not intentional about how we are grieving or what choices we are making. ________________________________________________________My brand NEW website "The L...2021-09-2720 min
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsSharon Ehler's; Grief Reiki Founder & AuthorToday I share my conversation with Sharon Ehlers. She lost her best friend Joy and ex-fiancé John within a few years of each other, both to suicide. Sharon is the founder of Grief Reiki® - a multidimensional approach to grief and loss using emotional recovery, Reiki and other spirituality-based tools. She is also an award-winning Author, Grief Educator, Death Midwife and Reiki Master Teacher. She has three beautiful children and lives in Los Angeles, CA. She talks about the isolation she felt after her losses as well as the immense affect on her outlook on life and ul...2021-09-201h 10
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsImogen's Mom; A Good Mourning LegacyToday I talk to Imogen Carn who is a suicide loss survivor. "Im", as she goes by, is the co-host of the Good Mourning Podcast (with Sally "Sal" Douglas). Im & Sal believe that "together, let’s make the topic of grief more open and less awkward." They speak to grief and loss of many different kinds as they both lost their mothers (but to different manner of death)Im's mother Vanessa died by suicide on Feb 22, 2020, just before the world locked down for the first wave of the pandemic. Her death was a complete and total shock to th...2021-09-0654 min
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsWhy I Do This; Let Me Share My ReasonsToday, I go "down the rabbit hole" again. I specifically wanted to talk to you about why I do this podcast; why I do all of the things I do in the area of suicide loss and grief. In the simplest version I could just say "because I lost my son Alex to suicide" and while that is of course the catalyst, my motivation and reasons run so far beyond that. Thank you for giving me a safe space to share and for listening - because connecting with other loss survivors, means more than I can say. If I c...2021-08-2917 min
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsLinzi Meaden; What Suicide Left BehindToday I share my conversation with Linzi Meaden around the loss of her brother Stuart. "Stu" died by suicide in the height of a global pandemic in June of 2020, just over a year ago. Linzi and I have a conversation, of sorts, every week for an hour. We co-moderate a Clubhouse room (along with Sue Egan) called "Life After Suicide" but this conversation goes deeper and is much more personal as it's just here and I sharing our personal experiences. As mom, I always gain insight (to help me be there for my kids) when speaking with siblings of s...2021-08-221h 01
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsYour "Why" After Suicide Loss; The How & Why to find IT!What is my WHY??? Such a complicated topic, right? Well … yes and no, BUT definitely a relevant & essential one for grievers. So much changes after suicide loss and nearly everyone who experiences it finds themselves reevaluating and needing to re-tool, or re-build, some (or all) of life as they knew it. Finding, or 're-finding', what our "WHY" is after suicide loss (of a child) is necessary to actually being able to move forward, in my opinion. And it takes time, and choice, and hard work, to actually get to it -- and then be able to...2021-08-1511 min
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsTwo Inches Off the Ground; Where Metaphysical Meets PracticalToday I have a vibrant and enlightening conversation with Jennifer, aka J India. She is not a suicide loss survivor but IS an attempt survivor and a trauma survivor turned healer. This is a very relevant conversation for us as trauma survivors. Jennifer is the producer and host of "Two Inches Off the Ground," a podcast where the metaphysical meets the practical. Her master’s degree in creative writing combined with her former 10-year-career as a book editor bring storytelling and entertainment to the forefront of her podcast content. She loves being a voice for the metaphysical wo...2021-08-091h 04The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsBeing "That' (Whispered About) Person; Discussion & ToolsToday, I go "Down the Rabbit Hole" to talk about a topic that is NOT new to me -- in some form I have been living with this since losing Alex nearly 5 years ago. Unless you have not left your house yet, I am certain that you too have experienced some form of this isolating feeling that comes when you start to interact with people and they bring up children … or mental health … or look at you with that look and say "how ARE you?" Or "I just don't think I could do this, you are so strong".... OR (Fill i...2021-08-0121 min
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsVictoria Moore; The Suicide Widow / Mom Balancing ActToday I talk with Victoria Moore, aka Yogi Mami. Victoria lost her husband, and her children lost their father, in May of 2019 to suicide and she talks openly about his struggles with depression, and the help they were actively getting him, prior to his death. This is a poignant and honest conversation. I think that this episode will really resonate with widows of suicide who are still raising children, but there is something for all grievers of suicide loss here! Victoria is warm, funny and (still) very full of life. I find her attitude and spirit both help...2021-07-2540 min
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsThe Sunshine of his Life; My Amazing Son AlexToday, I go "Down the Rabbit Hole" to talk about my amazing son Alex. As we approach five very long, yet somehow also short, years without him it feels like the perfect time to share more of what we had with him while he was alive. Today, I do share a little more of the story leading up to his death by suicide on Aug 7, 2016, but mostly I just talk a little but more about his life and the amazing human that he was during his 21 years here on earth. He was funny and smart and no, he didn't lo...2021-07-1924 min
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsRebecca Jax Holistic Healing; Grief is a Mystical JourneyToday I talk with Rebecca of "Rebecca Jax Holistic Healing". She lost her only sibling, her brother Jack, to suicide in 2018 and her life was completely turned inside out and she nearly followed in his shadow. Becci tells us of her battle and how she discovered true healing. This is an insightful, deep and enlightening conversation. I think there is something for all grievers of suicide loss here. Rebecca is a trauma-informed suicide loss mentor, international holistic hypnotherapist, breathwork facilitator, sound healer, reiki practitioner, EFT practitioner, mindfulness a...2021-07-041h 02The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsTools Part 2; Engaging Your Senses In Grief HealingToday, I am publishing Part 2 of "Tools" … the first one is (way) back in Season 1, Episode 15. It's worth a re-visit even if you listened to it then. Today I talk about MORE TOOLS that I use in my daily (or weekly) life to help me not only survive the hard times but also stay focused and thrive through into the good. These tools really engage all of your senses to help you achieve a whole body-mind wellness Here are some links to support the tools I talked about in today's journey "Down the Rabbit Hole" ...2021-06-2821 min
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsNo More "S" Word; A Daughter's LegacyToday, my conversation is with Jamie Fabroa. She lost her father Wilmer, to suicide 10 years ago but he is still always with her in heart. Jamie now works to bring awareness to help prevent suicide by furthering conversation and not hiding behind the "s" word! Just 4 days before Jamie's 25th Birthday, she would lose her father to suicide. From that moment, Jamie's life would never be the same. The pain became unbearable, unlivable when after a few attempts to take her own life, she courageously found solace, serenity, strength and forgiveness in her own healing through supporting ot...2021-06-211h 13
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsAcceptance & Change after Suicide Loss; "You used to be ...""You used to be …much more muchier" Whether we are saying it to ourselves in the mirror or hearing it from others (either literally or in those 'loud glances' we get from someone), I am certain you too have heard this "You used to be …" and can finish the sentence many ways! ME TOO! Today I head "down that rabbit hole (again)" to share my thoughts on acceptance and change after suicide loss. What do I mean? Well, I mean accepting our loss and then the personal chang...2021-06-1320 min
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsGreif Dreams; What DO They Mean?This episode is my conversation with Dr. Joshua Black who is arguably the world's leading expert on the topic of GRIEF DREAMS. It was so eye opening for me. We all dream but dreams are so complicated… and no surprise, especially grief dreams! This episode is riveting to the end!Find all ways to CONNECT with Dr. Joshua Black HERE on his websiteJoshua spent his young life believing he was destined to become a school teacher - great pay and pensions were the reasoning he had been conditioned to...2021-06-061h 21The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsBONUS 2 "The Fog is Real; THIS is your Brain on Trauma"Today I go 'down the rabbit hole" in this BONUS episode between seasons. I talk talk about grief trauma from loss by suicide & how it affects our brain - suicide loss causes brain trauma. Say that again, Suicide loss causes brain trauma. How do we deal with it and how do we BEGIN to heal that trauma, that INJURY to our brain? Join me while I share & ponder this all to real part of our loss. I know this is SO lonely, but YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!! We can do...2021-05-3016 minThe Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsBONUS! What is Clubhouse; Is it a 'Safe Space' for Grievers?Today I take a 'mini-dive' into the new(ish) & super relevant social media app "Clubhouse" that is creating a lot of buzz out there in the social media world. Today I just give you some "basics" because IF you are going into ANY grief space we are already anxious enough & trying to "learn" a new things can just be TOO much! Listen to hear me weigh in, teach you a bit and give my OPINION of whether Clubhouse is a space for grievers... I Co-Moderate (with my 2 other lovely moderators from the UK) a room called "Life A...2021-05-1623 min
The Rope of HopeMelissa Bottorff-Arey: Life After Suicide LossIn this episode of The Rope of Hope I am joined by the host of The Leftover Pieces, Melissa Bottorff-Arey, to discuss life after suicide loss. If you are inspired or encouraged by this episode or any other episodes, please consider helping to keep me caffeinated at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/thisfatgirllife. If you would like to be a guest and share your story, please fill out my podcast guest application at https://thisfatgirllife.hubspotpagebuilder.com/podcast-guest-application--- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app...2021-05-0321 minThe Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss Conversations"Are They Really Gone?; Alchemy of Science and Spirit"Today I am sharing my conversation with Lenore Matthew PhD, MSW. She is a researcher/practitioner from the field of social work, as well as a young widow and a survivor of suicide loss of her husband. Prior to her loss, Dr. Matthew worked as an expert of advocacy and program evaluation for organizations across the globe, including the United Nations. She has presented her research and advocacy widely at institutions such as Harvard Medical School.Since losing her husband, her interests have shifted to trauma and traumatic loss, and healing through a mind, body, and spirit c...2021-05-021h 35The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsSeason 1 ReCap; What Should I Listen to Next?Today I go "down the rabbit hole" and give you a recap of the conversations that I had this season. And remember that there are just as many short, solo 'down the rabbit hole' episodes as well, but I will not be recapping those today. It is my hope that this recap will help newcomers to the podcast find episodes to go back and listen to as well as helping regular podcast listeners to discover episodes they may have missed. Remember that there are extensive show notes with great links for every episode AND I link you...2021-04-2524 minThe Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsChellor's House of Rocks; Finding a Healing CommunityToday I have an AWESOME conversation with Chellor. This was such a fun conversation for me as this lovely lady, & her community, have become a necessary part of my wellness 'toolkit' ...of my heart & life. I hope you will join us as Chellor shares her loss story and journey since as well as how she was brought back to crystals and the organic path that led her to where she is today as a fierce but vulnerable leader of Chellors House of Rocks Community., an inclusive place for ALL (& oh, there's some great rocks there too!) F...2021-04-181h 18The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsBreaking the Cycle; Shame & Stigma & SuicideToday, I go "Down the Rabbit Hole" to talk about the cycle of SHAME & STIGMA & SUICIDE. I give my thoughts on how the & why the cycle exists and what I have done (and am doing) to try to break it and teach others to do so as well. We have to reduce the amount of pain and loneliness that exists (silently) in so many people that we love so that we may destigmatize mental health and remove the strict boundaries our culture has created for what is "normal". We must foster love and acceptance and KINDNESS if we are t...2021-04-1113 minThe Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsCreating "Esther & Astor" ; A Sister's Love Lives OnThis conversation is with an amazingly bright light of a human being. Cara Perkins lost older sister Leah (Cox) unexpectedly in 2018 to suicide. In Cara's own words:"I work day to day as an interior designer in the furniture industry. After I lost my sister to suicide it became apparent to me how many have been touched by suicide and mental health issues. A dream was put into my heart to start making leather bracelets marked with a semicolon to show support for mental health awareness and suicide prevention. I have recently branched out into making more c...2021-04-051h 20The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsBONUS EPISODE; Guided Sleep MeditationToday Chellor of "Chellor's House of Rocks" will guide you into a place in your mind to help you ease into sleep or rest. For me, sleep has eluded me SO much since losing Alex to suicide so I am always looking for help in that area! Along with other tools that I now use to (sometimes) get more sleep, I have found meditation to be helpful. I plan to work with Chellor to release more guided meditations to help give you more grief tools for your journey in this life that now included suicide loss. I wi...2021-04-0111 minThe Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsBirthdays, Holiday & Hard Days; Here's How I Survive it AllToday, I go "Down the Rabbit Hole" to talk about some of the hardest days & times of the year that we grievers face - their birthday, the holidays & even the day that they left us. I discuss what I have done (& even still do) to make these days special, bearable or some combination of both. I am not always "successful" but I just keep trying. These days are just so hard now!! I would love to know how you tackle these days as well. There is no science or magic formula … just figuring it out as it comes. Sending so...2021-03-3019 minThe Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsSharon Survived; How She Defined Her WhyToday I share my conversation with suicide attempt survivor Sharon Greenwald. Hear her share her story and how it has led her to find her "why" and a life of purpose AND happiness! She talks openly about depression and where it took her... to an attempt on her life that she feels she only survived by divine intervention. Sharon wrote her memoir with the intention of propelling the conversation surrounding suicide and depression to break down the walls of stigma, to help ease the guilt loss survivors feel and to help slow the current rate of the suicide epidemic.2021-03-211h 03The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsJoey Somebody; Sibling Loss, Vulnerability and the Male EgoToday I am sharing a very important conversation. I recently spoke with Joey Dumont, a self-professed 'recovering egoist' who took a year off to write a book about his life, his loss & 'recovery' that turned into three and has now sent him down a new path of (comedic) enlightenment with a heart for helping others. Joey lost his younger brother to suicide in April 2007 and spent the next year basically hiding, or perhaps running, from the grief, the PTSD and more. Sibling loss is complicated and as we know, loss by suicide even more so. It truly was a joy...2021-03-071h 21The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsOracle Cards; My Grief inside Woo-villeToday I dive (deep) into 'the rabbit hole' ... I let you into my mind to explore why (& how) I use Oracle cards! Yep -- I said it - Oracle Cards!!! Many people refer to crystals, Reiki, tarot, oracle ... or really anything in the metaphysical, alternative based thinking or practices as "woo-woo". I personally have always been a science and fact seeking person so it may seem strange that I can reside so comfortably in what I call "Wooville", but I do. Come along and I will give you a glimpse as to (just one reason) why! Many pe...2021-02-2817 minThe Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsBrenda's Brutal Reality of Child Loss by Suicide; Delayed Grief & Finding Her New SelfIn this conversation Brenda & I y=talk about the loss of her 22 year old son to suicide in 2012. And while Brenda, her family & loved ones were grieving it wouldn't be until Feb of 2017 when Chase would actually be found and their reality confirmed. This is a raw, real conversation that I think so much can be gained from. I hope you will gain as much as I did from it! CAUTION: Sensitive subject & details that if you are too early in loss might be more than you need or want right now. Brenda welcomes anyone w...2021-02-211h 17The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsTeasers, Plans & Hopes; We are just getting Started!Today, I go "Down the Rabbit Hole" to kind of reminisce, appreciate where I am AND look ahead (just a bit). My plan has always been to grow this podcast organically as it calls to me & to talk about things that matter - to me, but also to you. I can't believe I am 19 episodes in … I truly love bringing this podcast to you … all while wishing I never has a reason to bring it to you!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR SUPPORT! As with everything you hear on my podcasts, please take that which serves you & l...2021-02-1408 minThe Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsUnpacking My Unconscious Mind; Transformation to a Radical LifeIn today's conversation I talk to Emily Dziedzic of "A Radical Life with Emily". She is a Neurolinguistics Professional, a Master Certified Coach, who works with clients in 1:1 Breakthrough Coaching to transform so that they may get out of the places they are stuck (especially in their grief) to leave behind non-serving emotions and step into their own radical life...whatever that means to them.I have done this work with Emily and can hands down say it was one of the most transformational processes I have been through in my grief journey. I have ga...2021-02-071h 11The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsWhat Am I Watching (aka "Binging"); My Thoughts & RecommendationsToday, I go "Down the Rabbit Hole" to discuss things I have watched, binged or still want to watch with regards to suicide, loss & grief in general. These are everything from movies to series to documentaries; and can be watched on various platforms. THIS IS NOT A DEFINITIVE LIST of what I have watched NOR all of the subject matter ... just some that I chose to share today. Some of these titles are about suicide loss, but most just about loss and grief and how the characters deal with it in such different ways -- just like we do. I...2021-01-3122 minThe Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsRejoining the Land of the Living; Mary's Brave LifeIn this episode, I have a serious conversation with a warm, funny & insightful lady! Mary has experienced a lot of loss - both of her parents to suicide, her first child dies at 3 months old & her brother-in-law also ended his life... just to name some of her life traumas. Spread over a lifetime, by her forties it had all taken a serious toll on her & she found herself living inside depression & devastation. She was just "existing". Then one day, she looked outside ... and made a choice to rejoin the land of the living."Mary Barras is a d...2021-01-241h 00The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsTools Part 1; Books, Apps & Podcasts Oh My!Today I head "Down The Rabbit Hole" to discuss some tangible "tools" that I would recommend taking a look at in the quest to find your own. This is a follow up to a previous episode, one of several to come, where I get more specific on some of the "tools" that have (or still do) serve me well in this suicide loss grief space I live in. Part 2 will be published in a few weeks! As with everything you hear on my podcasts, please take that which serves you & leave the rest. I hope you will...2021-01-1721 minThe Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsLearning to Support a Griever; When Our Love Met TragedySupporting a person who is grieving, especially grieving a suicide loss, can be quite tricky and is not for the faint of heart. Grieving is hard, hard work but so is supporting the bereaved... especially if you too are also grieving. This episode is a conversation that I had with my husband, G.R. where among other things we discuss how we have weathered this loss, the grief, the stigma & more - together. Here's a great article that I found after our conversation the really reaffirms much of what we talked about today:10 W...2021-01-1045 minThe Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsThe New Year; The Suck AND The HopeIn this mini "Down the Rabbit Hole " Episode I discuss my thoughts on the New Year & how as a suicide loss griever there is a 'suck' to it for sure, but also promise & hope. This is NOT to be taken as definitive OR construed as medical advice. I offer ONLY my own perspective & thoughts based on my life, beliefs & experiences, but that's all it is … this ladies opinion. I also read an origoanl prose piece I wrote recently comparing my grief to the ocean... this took me outside my comfort zone for sure but I am glad I sha...2021-01-0315 minThe Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsForever 15; A Lasting Tribute to RaderToday I want to share my conversation with Susan Ward. Susan lost her son Rader on June 7, 2017 to suicide just one week shy of his 16th birthday on June 13. Rader was a creative, intuitive & intelligent child who thrived in Montessori school. Susan & her husband William first noticed Rader's struggles after Rader entered public school. We talk about how they sought 'help' in every way they could yet, it somehow wasn't enough. We also discuss Susan's "tools" for living with her grief. Rader's college fund was put to work & became The Rader Ward Foundation. The foundation serves as a...2020-12-271h 12The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsGrief Tools; What are Mine?In this mini "Down the Rabbit Hole " Episode I discuss the many tools that I have placed in my "grief toolkit" and others that I am exploring. This is NOT to be taken as definitive OR construed as medical advice. I offer ONLY my own perspective & thoughts based on my life, beliefs & experiences, but that's all it is … this ladies opinion. And I really only scratch the surface & will talk on this subject more in the future as well as have deeper conversations on some of the "tools" I use & rely on! As with everything you h...2020-12-2013 minThe Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsTrauma to Bipolar; When Suicide Becomes an OptionToday I have a powerful conversation with Jennifer. You will hear her tell her story of the trauma- addiction- mental health-roller coaster that she was on for nearly 27 years before hitting bottom & starting to crawl back up. Jennifer struggled with serious suicidal thoughts at the bottom and she discusses it very candidly & I firmly believe that engaging in these conversations is where hope lives, hope blossoms & ultimately where change grows from. You will hear her discuss how the relief of a bipolar diagnosis became a "prison" of a a diagnosis to the promises of diagnosis as she sees it...2020-12-1353 minThe Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsChasing Joy; Can We Find It?In this mini "Down the Rabbit Hole " Episode I discuss an often natural feeling in grief - one in which joy eluded me & how I got back to feeling a balance ... & feeling deserving of joy once again. I offer my own perspective & my advice based on my life, beliefs & experiences, but that's all it is … this ladies opinion. As with everything you hear on my podcasts, please take that which serves you & leave the rest. I hope you will find something of value & I am so sorry that you need to be here, but so honored you are here. Talk...2020-12-0610 minThe Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsShelby Forsythia; Your Grief, Your WayIn this wonderful conversation with Shelby Forsythia we discuss her new book "Your Grief, Your Way" which is a 366 day (non-religious) daily devotional that I personally think should be in the hands of every griever. We discuss that while her loss is not in the suicide loss space that some components of grief are universal and that filling our 'grievers toolbox' with tools from a variety of places may be necessary, even desired. Shelby is a grief guide, a podcast host & an author. This is an insightful, inspiring conversation. You can find ALL THINGS SHELBY at her w...2020-11-2944 minThe Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsThe First Year; Survival & BeyondThe mini "Down the Rabbit Hole " Episode touches on the 'shoulds' & (possibly) 'shouldn'ts' of the first year(-ish) while you are in survival mode. I offer my own perspective & my advice based on my life, beliefs & experiences, but that's all it is … the ladies opinion. As with everything you hear on my podcasts, please take that which serves you & leave the rest. I hope you will find something of value & I am so sorry that you need to be here, but so honored you are here. Talk soon!Here I link you straight to the A...2020-11-2315 minThe Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsAbove The Rug; A Suicide Widow's TaleIn this conversation, I talk to Lindsey Doolittle, a suicide (police sergeant's) widow, a loss survivor, but also an advocate and an activist, an artist and an author. We discuss how her husband's police department shunned and shamed her, where she found hope, and how she is living with her loss while providing meaningful support to others now. There is a LOT to take away from this conversation! In Lindsey's own words... "I choose not to sweep my husband’s suicide under the rug. I’ll never get over his death, but I can get through it..by s...2020-11-2238 minThe Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsThe F***ing Holidays; Ho Ho NOIn this (second)) Mini Solo "Down the Rabbit Hole" (DTRH) Episode I delve into the topic of "THE HOLIDAYS".... I talk about how they were, and how they are now and how I have (started) to deal with it in my (new) life alongside suicide loss & grief. You can find and connect with me at The Leftover Pieces Instagram orThe Leftover Pieces Podcast WebpageLife after suicide loss is nothing short of a wasteland of the leftover pieces of your shattered heart, of your former self. Join Melissa, a mother...2020-11-2111 minThe Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsA Brother Lost; An Unbreakable BondThis is a conversation is with Parker. We talk about losing his 21 year old brother to suicide at the age of 19 when he was just starting college, just starting his 'adult' life - a life he expected would always include his brother. I talk candidly to Parker who MY youngest child about (my other son) Alex's death by suicide in 2016 and how it has changed him, and also our family. He offers the unique perspective of a sibling and speaks to how his generations views and reacts to suicide. This is a great book for siblings to sta...2020-11-201h 06The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsFEAR; It's Here, What Now?In this (first) Mini Solo "Down the Rabbit Hole" (DTRH) Episode I delve into the topic of Fear & Grief. I talk about how they overlap & interact as well as how I have (started) to deal with it in my (new) life alongside suicide loss … & grief!You can find & connect with me at The Leftover Pieces Instagram orThe Leftover Pieces Podcast WebpageLife after suicide loss is nothing short of a wasteland of the leftover pieces of your shattered heart, of your former self. Join Melissa, a mother who lost her 21 ye...2020-11-1910 minThe Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss ConversationsFinding Support; Founding a GroupMy conversation with Bonnie Swade founder of SASS-MoKan, a suicide awareness survivor support group in the Kansas City area is packed full of information on the role of a support group, a support system, in a grievers life. Bonnie lost her 31 year old son Brett to suicide on December 20, 2003. The following year, she and her husband Mickey founded their own group. They do very important work in the KC metro area but are a model and inspiration for groups everywhere. SASS (Suicide Awareness Survivor Support) believes the public must be educated about suicide. I COMPLETELY AG...2020-11-1847 minThe Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss Conversations[New] START HERE; Meet Melissa, Intro EpisodeThis is the definitive "START HERE" episode. If you are a new listener, absolutely start here. If you are not new but have not listened to this "first" episode prior to Feb. 2025, I have updated it and you just might learn something new, so I hope you will listen again. Welcome to "The Leftover Pieces: Suicide Loss Conversations" podcast. My name is Melissa Bottorff-Arey, and I am both the creator and host of this podcast, which I launched in 2020 amid an unprecedented global pandemic that was both being shadowed by and working in t...2020-11-1715 min
Coming Back: Conversations on life after lossE123: The Leftover Pieces with Melissa Bottorff-AreyMelissa Bottorff-Arey’s life turned upside down when her son, Alex, took his own life during his junior year at college. Her new podcast, The Leftover Pieces, features conversations on living life after suicide loss. This week, we’re discussing the rage that often follows learning more information about a loss, how our mental health is impacted when someone we love dies, the glaring holes in our school systems that fail kids at an emotional and mental level, and how the suicide of a child changes identity as a mother. Find Melissa’s new podcast, The Leftover Pieces...2020-07-161h 02
Cookbook Love PodcastInterview with Cookbook Collector and Full-time Traveler Melissa Bottorff-AreyToday on the podcast I excited to offer this interview with Melissa Bottorff-Arey. Melissa is the Founder of Cultivated Journey. Melissa and her husband are full-time travelers. They live and work from their motor home while traveling in the United States. Melissa has a passion for farm-to-table cuisine and teaching other travelers how they can eat local and seasonal in every community they pass through. Melissa as a cookbook collector had to purge her collection when they decided to travel full-time, as well as her experiences with cookbooks as an industry-trained chef, and cooking meals for family and friends...2019-03-2851 min