Shows
Deep ResilienceWhat Everyone Get's Wrong About Other People (and How to See More Clearly)What Everyone Gets Wrong About Other People (and How to See More Clearly)Have you ever jumped to conclusions about someone—only to later find out you were completely wrong?Our minds are constantly making assumptions about others, often without us even realizing it. And thanks to our brain’s built-in negativity bias, we tend to assume the worst more than the best.In this episode, Melli unpacks the subtle mental habit that leads to so much unnecessary conflict, misunderstanding, and disconnection—and how to shift it.You’ll discover:Why ou...2025-07-0915 min
Deep ResilienceThe Phrase That Steals Your Power (and What to Say Instead)The Phrase That Steals Your Power (and What to Say Instead)How often do you catch yourself saying “I can’t”? It might seem small, but this tiny phrase can quietly drain your energy, disconnect you from your values, and leave you feeling powerless.In this episode, Melli shares how shifting your self-talk from “I can’t” to “I choose not to” can be a game changer for your mindset and emotional well-being. This simple language tweak can help you reclaim your agency and act from a place of clarity and purpose.You’ll learn:Wh...2025-07-0112 min
Deep ResilienceHow to Find Your Strength in Times of Grief, Crisis, or StressHow to Find Your Strength in Times of Grief, Crisis, or StressWhen life falls apart—through grief, heartbreak, crisis, or overwhelming stress—it’s easy to feel like everything steady has been stripped away. But even in our hardest moments, there’s something we can always come back to. Something that can anchor us, guide us, and help us rise with clarity and strength.In this episode, Melli shares one of the most powerful tools for inner resilience: reconnecting with your values.You’ll discover:The incredible story of Viktor Frankl and...2025-06-2416 min
Deep Resilience5 Thought Patterns That Feed Depression (And How to Break Free)5 Thought Patterns That Feed Depression — And How to Break FreeWhen you’re feeling low, it can seem like the world is grey and unchangeable. But often, the way we think is quietly fuelling the way we feel.In this episode, Melli explores five common thought patterns that feed depression—and how to shift out of them using a simple, evidence-based tool called Catch It, Check It, Change It.These patterns—like all-or-nothing thinking, rumination, and emotional reasoning—often run in the background, disguised as truth. But once we learn to see them clearly, w...2025-06-1734 min
Deep ResilienceTalk Back to Unhelpful Thoughts — The 3-Step Practice to Rewire Negative Thinking🎧 Talk Back to Unhelpful Thoughts — The 3-Step Practice to Rewire Negative ThinkingDo you ever feel like your mind is working against you—spiralling into self-doubt, rehashing the past, or catastrophizing about the future?You’re not alone.Our minds are master storytellers—and many of the stories they tell are based in fear, insecurity, or old conditioning.In this episode, Melli shares a simple, powerful 3-step practice to help you unhook from those unhelpful narratives and return to calm, clarity, and strength.This isn’t about trying to get rid of ne...2025-06-1023 min
Deep ResilienceWhat Is Inner Leadership—and Why It Might Be the Missing Piece in Your Personal GrowthWhat Is Inner Leadership—And Why It Might Be the Missing Piece in Your Personal GrowthHave you ever felt like there's a gap between the strength you know is inside you—and the way you actually show up in your life?That invisible gap is where inner leadership comes in.In this episode, Melli unpacks what inner leadership really is—and why it may be the missing piece in your mental health, personal development, and spiritual growth journey. You’ll learn how to stop being pushed around by fear, stress and self-doubt—and start...2025-06-0333 min
Deep ResilienceBe Your Own Algorithm: Detox Your Mind & Reclaim Your Inner PeaceBe Your Own Algorithm: Detox Your Mind, Reclaim Your Inner PeaceIn an age of infinite noise, what if the most radical act is reclaiming your own mind?In this episode, we explore how to take back your attention from the forces that seek to hijack it—and why doing so isn’t just a wellness practice, but a deeply empowering and even spiritual one.You’ll discover how modern algorithms are designed to exploit your ancient brain wiring—fueling distraction, anxiety, and disconnection—and how being unaware of this can quietly pull you away f...2025-05-2018 min
Deep ResilienceThe Most Powerful Question You Can Ask in Hard TimesYou Are the Calm Series: Episode 3The Most Powerful Question You Can Ask in Hard Times.When life gets overwhelming, it’s easy to feel lost in the chaos of our thoughts and emotions. But there’s one powerful question that can shift everything.In this episode, I’ll share how this simple question can bring clarity, calm and empowerment in the middle of life’s toughest moments—and how it’s the foundation of real resilience.You’ll learn a tool to identify unhelpful patterns, gently reset your inner state, and come back...2025-04-1525 min
Deep ResilienceTrue Resilience Is Not What You ThinkYou Are the Calm Series: Episode 2:True Resilience Is Not What You ThinkSo many people think of resilience as being mentally 'well' or tough, holding it all together, or pushing through no matter what. But in this episode, I’m sharing why that’s not just a misunderstanding—it’s a dangerous misconception.If you’ve ever felt like you’re failing when you’re struggling, or stuck in a label like “not coping” or “mentally unwell,” this episode is for you.We’ll explore what true resilience really is (and what it’s not), why...2025-04-0928 min
Deep ResilienceA Practice for Calm and Clarity in ChaosYou are the Calm Series: Episode 1:Find Your Ground: A Practice for Calm and Clarity in ChaosIn hard times, our minds often race, and emotions run high. So much of this stress comes not from our circumstances, but from our refusal to accept them. In this episode, I share a foundational tool for letting go of stress and mental clutter, and reconnecting to inner calrity and calm so we can handle our challenges more effectively.I’ll share a simple metaphor that illustrates the shift from resistance to presence, and offer gentle st...2025-04-0117 min
Deep ResilienceWhy Feeling 'Enough' Feels So HardWhy Feeling 'Enough' Feels So Hard In this episode, I explore why we feel so much pressure to be better than average—and why that pressure is actually making us unhappy. Our culture teaches us that to be valuable, we need to be exceptional. But the truth is, this drive to be special is one of our biggest blocks to true fulfilment. Fulfillment comes not from standing out, but from embracing the richness of ordinary life.I’ll share why this drive for significance is so hardwired into us, how research from psychologist Tim Kasser reve...2025-03-2523 min
Deep ResilienceRevolutionise Your Relationship With Your BodyBefriending Your Body: A Body Appreciation In this episode, I’ll share a simple yet powerful practice to help you shift from self-criticism to self-compassion in your relationship with your body. Profoundly healing and deeply transformative, body appreciation practice can return you to your innate sense of worthiness and enoughness. By letting go of the mental stories that tell us we need to be "fixed," we create space for a new way of being and living. Operating more from a place of love rather than lack. 🎧 Ready to see what this practice can offer you? Tune...2025-03-1712 min
Deep ResilienceA Healthy Way to Be With SadnessA Healthy Way to Be With SadnessIn this episode, I’ll share a simple yet powerful practice to help you navigate sadness with mindfulness and self-compassion. Instead of pushing difficult emotions away or feeling overwhelmed by them, learn how to meet sadness with awareness, care, and wisdom.By shifting from resistance to understanding, you’ll discover how to tune into your emotions, recognize your needs, and take empowered action to support yourself. 🎧 Ready to transform sadness into a source of clarity and resilience? Tune in now! 🌿Key Links:🔗 Melli O’Brien: https...2025-03-1013 min
Deep ResilienceThe Art of Letting Go: How to Stop Resisting Life and Find FreedomThe Art of Letting Go: How to Stop Resisting Life and Find FreedomIn this episode, I’ll share a simple yet powerful practice to help you let go of resistance and meet life with more ease and peace. Instead of struggling against reality—wishing things were different or clinging to control—discover how to release tension and embrace the flow of life.By shifting your focus from struggle to strength, you’ll cultivate greater freedom, resilience, and inner peace. 🎧 Ready to stop fighting life and start flowing with it? Tune in now! 🌿Key Links:...2025-03-0320 min
Deep ResilienceFrom Self-Defeat to Self-Compassion: How to Handle Life’s Tough MomentsFrom Self-Defeat to Self-Compassion: How to Handle Life’s Tough MomentsIn this episode, I’ll share a simple yet powerful practice to shift from self-defeat to self-compassion. Learn how to quiet your inner critic, break free from negative thought loops, and build resilience in the face of challenges.By changing the way you relate to mistakes and struggles, you can cultivate strength, confidence, and inner peace. 🎧 Ready to let go of self-judgment and move forward with self-kindness? Tune in now! 🌿Key Links:Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.comFree Deep Re...2025-02-2428 min
Deep ResilienceHow to Stop Beating Yourself Up Over Mistakes and Start Growing InsteadMistakes happen—it's a part of life. But how you respond to them can make all the difference. Do you beat yourself up and spiral into negativity, or do you seize the chance to grow?In this episode, I explore the transformative power of meeting mistakes with a tranformative practice that shifts negative thinking into courage, curiosity, and a commitment to growth. Learn how to shift your mindset from self-criticism to self-improvement with a simple tool you can take with you and use for the rest of your life.Discover how this mindset shift not on...2025-02-1717 min
Deep ResilienceDeep Resilience Mindset Hack: Reframing Problems as PuzzlesIn this episode, I share a powerful mindset shift to help you handle lifes problems and challenges with less stress and overwhelm and more clarity, calm and flexibility. One simple perspective shift can make a big difference in how effectively we work through challenges, what outcomes we create and how we feel along the way. Want to see how a small mindset tweak can change everything? Tune in and let’s piece it together. 🎧🧩 as we shift out problems into puzzles.✨Let’s get started.Key Links:Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.comGet your...2025-02-1013 min
Deep ResilienceTurning Self-Doubt Into Your SuperpowerDo you ever feel like self-doubt is running the show, holding you back from your true potential? You're not alone. What if self-doubt didn’t have to stop you?In this episode, I share a simple, playful hack to flip the script: Instead of letting self-doubt stay in the drivers seat, respond with to it with a powerful defusion technique (a way of unhooking from thoughts) that helps you adopt a mindset of flexibility, curiosity and empowerment.When you retrain your mind to meet self-doubt with curiosity, humor, and determination, it transforms from a roadblock in...2025-02-0313 min
Deep ResilienceThe Difference Between Healthy And Unhealthy AngerAnger is an important, healthy and valuable emotion. It's something we all experience. However, if anger is suppressed or not expressed in a healthy way, it can lead to all kinds of regrettable situations. In this podcast episode I explain the difference between toxic anger and healthy anger and how you can bring the wisdom of healthy anger into your life.Key Links and notes:Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com2024-09-2420 min
Deep ResilienceThe Beautiful Mess EffectWhen we are struggling or feeling 'emotionally messy', instinctively, many of us try to hide that vulnerability from others because of a fear we’ll be seen as weak, unworthy, flawed, and we will lose love, connection and approval in our lives. But research shows that when we share our vulnerability and struggles with others it actually makes us stronger, improves our connection and deepens their love and approval of us. In this episode I share the science around what researchers have dibbed 'the beautiful mess effect' and give you some tips to embrace the beautiful mess ef...2024-09-1715 min
Deep ResilienceThree Steps For Any DilemmaWe all encounter difficult dilemmas in life at one point or another where we don't know what to do yet. What can happen in these times is we can easily tip into spending our days endlessly ruminating and worrying about it, often making ourselves really stressed in the process.In this episode I share a three step method to navigate our dilemas in a more empowering way and maintain greater freedom and peace of mind on the way to finding our answers.Key Links and notes:Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com...2024-09-1008 min
Deep ResilienceThree Steps To Transform Toxic Self Doubt Into Purpose And Empowered ActionWe all have those moments where the voice in the head starts to whisper things like: This isn’t going to work. You're not good enough, you're not talented enough, or you're not smart enough or experienced enough to do that. Who do you think you are? You're too short, too tall, too hairy, too geeky. It will never work!And when we get hooked by self-doubt narratives it can crush our confidence, lower our self-worth, hold us back from the things we really care about and make us feel anxious and depressed.So how ca...2024-09-0312 min
Deep ResilienceTo Stop Overthinking, Use The Office Hours TechniqueOverthinking comes in many forms but by far the main two types are rumination (which can lead to feelings of unworthiness, depression and self-doubt) and worry (which gives rise to stress, anxiety and overwhelm).Research shows that overthinking is linked to mental illnesses such as clinical depression and anxiety. Simply put, overthinking is not a useful mental habit. It hurts and hinders us.So how can we overcome it? In this episode, I share a simple practice you can use to shift overthinking into a more empowering, helpful and skillful way of thinking....2024-08-2010 min
Deep ResilienceThree Tips For Working With Dark Or Disturbing ThoughtsWhen I am working with clients to help them become mentally stronger, one concern that often comes up is how they will be able to handle their most dark and disturbing thoughts. They often feel very intimidated, frightened or overwhelmed by them and worry about the effects of these thoughts in their life.However, when I am able to show them how to transform their relationship to these thoughts there is a huge sense of relief and release and renewed confidence.In this episode of Deep Resilience I walk you through three foundational tools to...2024-08-1317 min
Deep ResilienceYou're Not Stuck, Your Thoughts AreWhen we get thrown a curveball in life we can start to feel really stuck in a situation. We may feel disempowered, defeated, broken, overwhelmed or like we cannot cope. This feeling of stuckness can leave us debilitated and unable to move forward. Often in my work with clients, I find that, if we explore closer we usually find that they are not stuck, their thoughts are. in other words, their mind is telling them ’stuck' stories. Telling them they cannot cope, telling them there’s no way through an obstacle, telling them they have or will fail...2024-08-0613 min
Deep ResilienceThere Are No Justified ResentmentsWe've all had times where somebody has said or done something that we felt really hurt by. There is the initial event that happened but then we often continue mulling over it, fanning the flames of resentment and anger within us, and keeping the heartache alive. Sometimes we might keep carrying a resentment for weeks, months or years. What we don’t realise is that resentment is like drinking poison and hoping the other person suffers. It’s us who carries the hate, the ill will, the bitterness, the grudge. In this episode of Deep Resi...2024-07-3017 min
Deep ResilienceFive Ways To Strengthen And Improve Your RelationshipsWhen it comes to resilience, having strong relationships is foundational. Research also shows that strong relationships are a predictor of happiness, good health and longevity. Needless to say, it's worth investing in keeping our relationships, healthy, strong and meaningful.In this episode of Deep Resilience, I encourage you to try five tips to strengthen your bonds with loved ones and improve the quality of your relationships so that they flourish, thrive and add more fullness, richness and love to your lifeThey are:Quality Time Effective CommunicationLearning Conflict...2024-07-2316 min
Deep ResilienceHow The Wisdom Of Interdependence Will Grow Your Inner StrengthThe practice of realizing interdependence is about really knowing, not just in our mind but in our whole being, that we are not separate from the world around us. That we exist in a large web of interconnectedness. It is returning to wisdom and belonging.We live in a culture that devalues wisdom and emphasises materialism, individualism and independence. A culture that has an almost shameful view of dependence on others and the web of life.In this episode of Deep Resilience, I encourage you to accept the truth of interdependence, challenge the status quo...2024-07-1609 min
Deep ResilienceHow To Stay In Your Point Of Power In Times Of Stress And OverwhelmWhen we're going through really difficult times it's common for the mind to tip into unhelpful patterns that amplify instead of alleviating our distress, keeping us locked in loops of anxiety, pessimism and reactivity. Racing and repetitive thoughts ramp up our suffering and drag us into disempowerment.But if we can find our point of power in stressful times, research shows that we can let go of overwhelm and navigate forward with more calm, confidence and inner strength.In this episode of Deep Resilience, I walk you through the two-step process of finding your point...2024-07-0912 min
Deep ResilienceThe Personalisation TrapSometimes, things go wrong. Unfortunate things happen. We make mistakes. We all know this is an unavoidable part of life, but there may be something working in the background that can transform these moments from mere setbacks into inflated beliefs about our character. When we personalise these events, conflating what happened with who we are, we become defined by our failures, increasing negative thoughts, lowering self-esteem and even causing social anxiety or depression. In this episode of Deep Resilience, I encourage you to separate your actions from your identity, consider the situation from all angles and question...2024-07-0212 min
Deep ResilienceBeware Of The Jevons ParadoxWe all want a better life, but is our pursuit of it actually making us happier? In many instances, the answer is no. This is where the Jevons paradox comes in. The Jevons Paradox is named for the nineteenth-century economist William Stanley Jevons. He noticed that as steam engines, powered by coal, became ever more efficient, Britain’s appetite for coal increased rather than decreased.The paradox still exists today. The latest renewable energy technologies are not resulting in a decrease in climate change for instance. I think this same principle applies to our desire to make a...2024-06-2518 min
Deep ResilienceHow To Unbottle And Express Your FeelingsIdentifying and expressing our emotions effectively can one tricky but being able talk about our feelings with others is really important, not only to our relationships with others but for our own mental health, quality of life and overall wellbeing.In this episode of the podcast I offer you a helpful three step framework to help you identify your emotions and the reasons behind them clearly. Then communicate them in a way that defuses defensiveness and fosters understanding, mutual respect and helpful outcomes.Key Links:Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.comGe...2024-06-1811 min
Deep ResilienceNo One Is NormalWe all grow up with messaging about what’s “normal”: a normal family, a normal body, a normal life. We may not be conscious of it, but these ideas can linger in the backwaters of our minds and hinder our ability to live with agency and authenticity. The truth, though, is that the idea of “normal” is a myth, and constant striving to close the gap between the reality we live in and how we think things are supposed to be can breed shame and self-doubt, leaving us feeling isolated and unworthy. In this episode of Deep Resilience...2024-06-1114 min
Deep ResilienceHow to Cope with Life Transitions: 5 things that helpChange is inevitable, but that doesn’t make it easy. Even positive life transitions can feel destabilising, and our excitement can quickly be transcended by stress and overwhelm. Whether we are navigating major or minor-scale change, there are steps we can take to help move through these shifts with greater ease and confidence, allowing us to anchor ourselves amidst life’s turbulent tides and emerge stronger on the other side. In this episode of Deep Resilience, I present five invaluable strategies to foster an affirming and grounding approach to life's changes, big or small. Wherever you currently find y...2024-06-0408 min
Deep ResilienceTransforming Guilt into WisdomGuilt is a complex and often uncomfortable emotion, and while we might find it distressing to experience, it holds immense potential for constructive growth if we tune into its insights. Often mistaken for shame, which can become debilitating and detrimental to our self-esteem and wellbeing, guilt offers an avenue to realign with our values and authentic selves. In making this distinction and reflecting on the source of our guilt and the actions and circumstances that prompted it, we can fully embrace the wisdom it has to offer and commit to positive change.In this episode of Deep...2024-05-2811 min
Deep ResilienceFour Questions To Ask Yourself In Times Of GriefAnyone who has experienced grief knows how profoundly painful and scary it can be. It can totally overwhelm and debilitate us, and in our attempts to escape or push through in any way we can, it’s easy to tip into maladaptive or unhelpful coping mechanisms, making an already difficult time feel even more impossible. Amidst the turmoil, taking some time to contemplate and address our needs can help us navigate this inherently painful journey with gentle, life-affirming, and rejuvenating clarity.In this episode of Deep Resilience, I share four key questions to ask yourself in times of...2024-05-2108 min
Deep ResilienceWhat Is Trauma And How Does It Heal? Three Steps That Can HelpTrauma can seem a weighty term, but the truth is most of us have had experiences in life that have that have somehow burdened or constrained us. Some of us are so impacted we feel completely stuck, broken, hopeless. While we can’t change the events of the past, it is possible to heal. The wounds we carry are not what happened to us but what happened within us, and though this psychological scarring is enduring, it doesn’t have to be permanent. In this episode of Deep Resilience, I touch upon expert Dr. Gabor Maté’s insights...2024-05-1412 min
Deep ResilienceThree Steps To Transform Loneliness Into PowerSpending time alone is an important and healthy part of being human, but becoming isolated or emotionally disconnected from others can naturally lead to painful feelings of loneliness, even if we aren’t actually alone. Most of us thrive in healthy communities with close relationships, so when loneliness signals our social needs are not being met, instead of becoming overwhelmed, we can take empowered action to restore feelings of control, hopefulness and resilience. In this episode of Deep Resilience, I expand on last week’s episode and offer practical steps you can take right now to protect your...2024-05-0714 min
Deep ResilienceThe First Step To Working With LonelinessLoneliness can consume us, often triggering depression and pulling us into deeper isolation. To cope with this, we are typically advised to escape or repress the feeling by remaining busy, distracted and preoccupied, but this can ultimately exacerbate our suffering and leave us burnt out. An emotion apt to cause so much pain may seem an obvious enemy, but in changing our relationship with loneliness, we begin to recognise it as an ally offering valuable insight about our fundamental need for connection.In this episode of Deep Resilience, I clarify the distinction between feeling lonely and simply...2024-04-3016 min
Deep ResilienceNegative Body Image Issues: Understanding and Transforming ThemIn a society overly fixated on our outward appearances and achievements, we can easily get caught in loops of shame or disappointment about our bodies and, from a place of harsh judgement, push ourselves to fix, change or improve what we perceive as flaws or inferiorities. As ever-changing and impossible standards permeate our environments and our minds, we can counter ingrained self-criticism by actively practising body appreciation and creating the space to treat ourselves and our bodies with more compassion, acceptance and appreciation.In this episode of Deep Resilience, I invite you to unhook from...2024-04-2313 min
Deep ResilienceSelf Love Made SimpleSelf love is a simple, though perhaps not always easy, practice of maintaining an accepting attitude towards yourself and treating yourself with kindness and respect. Often misconstrued as self-importance, self-indulgence or toxic positivity at the expense of our ability to love and care for others, true self love embraces the coexistence of frustration and understanding, disappointment and compassion, allowing space for each.In this episode of Deep Resilience, I exemplify how the concept of self love translates to actions that can be incorporated into your day-to-day. Rather than being antithetical to self-improvement, I emphasise how...2024-04-1611 min
Deep ResilienceThe Power of AwarenessThe human mind is a double-edged sword. While it has the remarkable ability to help us survive, problem-solve and innovate, if allowed to roam unchecked, it can easily succumb to unhelpful programmed thought patterns that cause stress and suffering, latching on to rumination, self-criticism and limiting beliefs. Cultivating the skill of mindfulness, dropping out of the mind and into awareness, allows us both to unhook from destructive thought cycles and draw upon an enormous reservoir of wisdom, calm and inner strength that already exists within us.In this episode of Deep Resilience, I introduce the...2024-04-0919 min
Deep ResilienceDeep Resilience - Grow Your Inner StrengthDeep resilience is a state of mental-emotional and spiritual integration and strength that can change everything. The way you live, the way you lead, the way you love and the way you handle life's challenges.This podcast will help you unlock your own deep resilience. In this way you can use this podcast as your weekly training ground to build inner strength in bite sized chunks, one step at a time.In each weekly episode of the Deep Resilience podcast Melli O’Brien shares one key insight or skill to help you grow your inner st...2024-04-0203 min
Deep ResilienceIntroducing Deep Resilience: A state of mental-emotional-spiritual integration and strengthWe've equipped our mental strength toolkits with tried and true mindfulness and mindset techniques, but what about when these fall short? Sometimes, even the strongest mind is not enough to pull us through our toughest days or lift us from our lowest lows. While these evidence-based techniques offer immense value, they can overlook our deepest wellspring of inner strength as human beings. The Deep Resilience method integrates and enhances these modalities within a four-step framework, adopting a holistic approach and allowing us to tap into our deeper nature and access the innate intelligence of the mind, body...2024-04-0225 min
Deep ResilienceThe Beautiful Mess EffectLife can get pretty messy sometimes when we’re dealing with all the ups and downs that come our way. At times like this, our thoughts and emotions are all over the place. We call this the ‘Beautiful Mess Effect’. And, often, we’re inclined to hide our messiness from others.But, did you know that showing vulnerability can actually be good for our mental well-being? In this episode, I’m going to share with you some results from research studies that have been conducted on the Beautiful Mess Effect. You might be surprised by what these studies ha...2023-10-1014 minDeep ResilienceAdd More Spice To Your Life By Using The Habit ReleaserDo you spend your daily life on auto-pilot? We all do it. Many of us have daily habits that we repeat day after day without even realising it. This means that we often miss out on the truly beautiful moments by just not noticing them. Do you want to be more mindful and add a little spice to your life?In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I introduce you to the Habit Releaser. This useful tool comes from a book titled ‘Mindfulness: Finding Peace in a Frantic World’ by Mark Williams, an Emeritus Professor of Psychology at Oxfo...2023-10-0311 minDeep Resilience‘Have to’ Mindset vs ‘Choose to’ MindsetMany of us wake each morning to be met with a seemingly endless list of demands and responsibilities. Whether it’s “I have to deliver a crucial presentation to a high-profile client” or simply, “I have to make the bed,” the sense of obligation and constriction evokes feelings of resistance, resentment and restriction. Even tasks we once found joy, excitement and fulfilment in can drain our enthusiasm, lower our mood and bring up hostility when we feel bound or forced to do them. But what if we didn’t actually have to? What if we chose to?In this epis...2023-09-2610 minDeep ResilienceHow To Listen To Your Emotions (and why it really matters that you do)While we all face difficult emotions at various times in our lives, we each respond differently. We might keep ourselves busy, trying to bury them under work and responsibilities. We might bombard ourselves with endless content, escaping into virtual or fictional worlds. Some look to external sources to numb or distract from pain, while others resist or reject it from within, deeming it illogical or excessive, or simply denying it altogether. Though all of these reactions are perfectly normal, they’re not helpful, ultimately serving to prolong and intensify our distress. Maybe that’s because these feelings are here to s...2023-09-1914 minDeep ResilienceIn Your Darkest Hour, Remember ThisWhen the demands of our lives stretch us to our limits and we feel the overwhelming pain of grief, heartbreak, or hopelessness, we might respond in one of two ways. We might struggle against the discomfort by shutting down, isolating or lashing out. We might be consumed by our feelings and sink into the quicksand of self-criticism and negative self-talk. We might even cycle through these modes in a self-perpetuating negative spiral that fuels stress and jeopardises our mental and physical health. We can’t avoid distress entirely, but it doesn't have to be this way. Instead of being co...2023-09-1212 minDeep ResilienceEnvy, The Thief Of Happiness (and 2 science backed ways to take it back)Depicted in artwork, literature and religious texts throughout history, envy has long been part of the human experience, but never quite like it is today. Social media grants us access to a constant stream of highly curated and filtered images of happiest and most successful moments of our peers and strangers alike. With all of this at our fingertips, we compare the best snapshots of their lives with the most mundane of ours, feeding a growing sense of inadequacy and disconnection from others and ourselves, accompanied by a complex mixture of longing and resentment, often tinged with shame.2023-09-0513 minDeep ResiliencePerfectionism is the Destroyer of LoveIn the pursuit of perfection, we often view things through a lens of comparison, criticism, or judgment, hindering our ability to fully embrace and authentically love what’s in front of us. We do this to ourselves too, striving for perfection and judging ourselves against some standard or ideal self. This inner tension distorts our view of ourselves and others. We miss the beauty in imperfections, the inherent value of things as they are, and the genuine connections that come from unconditional acceptance. But there's an alternative mindset free of comparison or judgment, and this acceptance leads to love....2023-08-2910 minDeep ResilienceMake Great Decisions Quickly, Using This Incredible ToolEvery day, we make countless decisions that shape the direction and quality of our lives in one way or another. With each choice steering the course of our lives at each little juncture, no matter how great or small, their amassed weight has the potential to overwhelm. We’ve been given conflicting advice: “Trust your gut,” “Follow your heart,” or “Listen to your head,” yet another decision about how to approach making a decision. Thankfully, we don’t need to agonise over this one; we can use all three.In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I explore the ancient teac...2023-08-2214 minDeep ResilienceHow to Tame Your Inner CriticLiving with someone who is constantly criticising, berating, and judging you is exhausting, demoralising and breeds a sense of tension and uneasiness within the home. The same can be said for what might be called our true home, the one we carry with us everywhere: our mind. Many of us endure constant feelings of unworthiness, stress and inner struggle fueled by a harsh inner critic, i.e., the worst roommate ever, a permanent tenant on a lease we never signed. We can’t kick them out. We can’t move out. So what do we do?In this...2023-08-1511 minDeep ResilienceUnsubscribing From Your ThoughtsThe power of the human mind is a double-edged sword. It enables us to plan, solve problems, create goals and work towards them, but its dark side tends to haunt our inner world with self-criticism, ruminations and worries. For many of us, that voice inside can become our own worst enemy, crushing our self-esteem and fuelling constant stress, negativity or anxiety. Thankfully, we don’t have to get caught up in distressing or harmful inner dialogue. We can choose to unsubscribe. In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I explain how cognitive fusion causes us to mistake our tho...2023-08-0810 minDeep ResilienceSeek First To Understand, Then To Be UnderstoodWe all have a natural yearning to be understood, but effective communication requires mutual understanding. In our efforts to convey our point of view or form the perfect response, we often miss the opportunity to see another perspective, and create a defensive environment that is ripe for misunderstandings, distrust and resentments. Steven Covey offers a valuable remedy in The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People - “seek first to understand, then to be understood" - but this can be harder than it sounds.In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I break down Covey’s advice and demonstrate prac...2023-08-0110 minDeep ResilienceShame vs GuiltShame and guilt, often used interchangeably, are different experiences with distinct effects. Guilt, the feeling we get when we’ve done something wrong, is adaptive and helpful, prompting discomfort when our actions contradict our values and facilitating self-reflection and restitution. Shame, on the other hand, is the feeling that we are what’s wrong, that we are unworthy, bad or broken. It offers no constructive or restorative path, instead opening a pit of self-deprecation and low self-esteem, with no ladder to climb out. This destructive force can lead to depression, anger and hurtful behaviour toward others, further feeding the sham...2023-07-2513 minDeep ResilienceHow to Cling Less and Love MoreMoments of perfection in our lives, whether a life-changing sunset or an unforgettable kiss, are often intruded by a common thought: “I wish this moment could last forever.” Though it’s natural to want to hold on to the things that bring us peace, joy or wonder, true enjoyment is hindered when we cling to the desire for things to remain as they are. Clinging, unlike healthy desire, involves gripping, forcing, and resisting. It brings tension, stress and heartache, prohibiting us from fully experiencing and appreciating life. But we can cultivate acceptance and appreciation for the present moment by focusi...2023-07-1806 minDeep ResilienceConstant Stress? Here’s the Gold Standard Technique to Help Manage itWhen we encounter stress, our bodies instinctively enter the fight-or-flight mode. This evolutionary mechanism, enabling us to fight, fly or freeze in the face of danger, was an essential survival tool for our hunter-gatherer ancestors. But in today's fast-paced world, our lives occupied with busy schedules, personal challenges and global crises, we tend to experience persistent and prolonged tension in both our minds and bodies at the high cost of a range of health problems and mental illnesses. Unfortunately, we can’t eliminate the demands and pressures of the modern world, but we can counteract their harm with intentional re...2023-07-1110 minDeep ResilienceThe Difference Between Blame and AccountabilityAssigning blame is a natural response when we face adversity, hurt or disappointment. According to research professor, author and speaker Brené Brown, it’s how we discharge anger, discomfort and pain. While pointing the finger might be easy or even our first instinct when we feel wronged, its inverse relationship with accountability is fundamentally disempowering, serving to undermine our resolve to create change, both within and without, and leaving us stuck in negativity and anger.In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I invite you to let go of the blame game and reclaim your personal responsibility and, in d...2023-07-0407 minDeep ResilienceWhy You Need To Beware Of Confirmation BiasThe human mind is wired to prefer information that supports our existing beliefs and reject that which goes against them, otherwise known as confirmation bias. It doesn’t matter how rational, open-minded or fact-driven we are; it’s a natural tendency made more potent by deeply-ingrained or emotionally-charged views which can prevail even over clear, definitive data, leading to significant misjudgement and misunderstanding. Luckily, though it takes acknowledgement and deliberate effort, we can take steps to see beyond it.In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I encourage you to first acknowledge and accept the presence of confirmation bias...2023-06-2709 minDeep ResilienceThe Link Between Self-Compassion and SuccessFor a lot of us, showing compassion to others comes as second nature. We readily offer words of support, encouragement and reassurance to the people around us, strangers and friends alike, but how many of us can say we extend ourselves the same grace? Where does all of that kindness go when it’s our failure, our mistake, our setback? When we let our inner critic take the wheel, we often become our own worst enemy, so how can self-compassion help us learn, grow and be more effective on our path through life?In this episode of Me...2023-06-2009 minDeep ResilienceHow To Let Go Of A Grudge (in Three Steps)Whether it’s an insensitive comment or a larger betrayal, we’ve all been hurt by the words or actions of others. Regardless of the cause - be it a mistake, misunderstanding, or genuine ill-will - the resulting pain we feel is real, and we often find ourselves ruminating, fanning the flames of resentment and anger, and keeping the heartache alive. There’s not much we can do to avoid differences, disagreements and difficulties - they’re an inevitable part of life - but we can lighten the load and choose not to carry this mental baggage with us wherever...2023-06-1311 minDeep ResilienceThe Altruism Effect: Why The Good You Do is Good For YouEach of us has an inherent power to make a difference in the world around us, a power that is all too easy to forget. Bombarded with a seemingly endless cycle of catastrophic news, a kind word or good deed here and there might feel like a drop in the ocean. We've probably all heard something along the lines of "if it makes a difference to just one person, it matters," and there's a reason this sentiment has permeated the acceptance speeches of Nobel Peace Prize winners and high school graduates alike: not only is it true, it's mutually...2023-06-0609 minDeep ResilienceThe Truth About ClosureWhen things are left messy, unanswered or unresolved, we often find ourselves longing for closure, some magical process through which we can wrap everything up in a neat little package, feel better and move on. What makes closure so elusive, though, is that we’re often seeking it from another person, maybe in the form of an apology, an explanation or a goodbye. We feel dependent upon someone else giving us closure, and it can be almost torturous when we don’t get it. There’s good news, though: we can learn to find it within ourselves.In this...2023-05-3009 minDeep ResilienceFive Steps To Prepare For Difficult ConversationsIf you tuned in last week, you know the importance of difficult conversations; they’re essential to the health of your relationships, your own mental wellbeing, and for driving change on a larger scale. But even with the guidance of my four-step framework, without proper preparation, we may find ourselves approaching these situations with a negative attitude, obscurity of purpose or hidden motive, often leading to further conflict and misunderstanding. A little introspection allows us to prepare for and undertake tough conversations with clarity and compassion and ultimately achieve better outcomes.On this episode of Mentally Stronger, I...2023-05-2311 minDeep ResilienceHow To Have Difficult ConversationsHave you ever avoided having a difficult conversation with a friend, colleague or partner? If you have, you might already know how harmful it can be, both to yourself and the relationship. Whether it’s a small annoyance or major issue, leaving things unaddressed can breed resentment, enable toxic and harmful behaviour, and cause relationships to fall apart. Beyond personal issues, avoiding the hard stuff can have societal and global implications. Daunting as it can be, the ability to engage in healthy confrontation is crucial to making a difference in your personal life and the world at large....2023-05-1517 minDeep ResilienceLetting Your Triggers Become Your TeachersPeriods of calm, quiet and tranquillity present excellent opportunities to recharge, deepen our mental strength practice and connect with profound states of peace, but it is out in the ‘real world’ where these skills are really put to work. Even the most spiritually accomplished of us, the most skilled meditators, the most revered teachers can become triggered or overcome by a strong emotional response, usually unpleasant, to some kind of stimulus in the environment. Though none of us are completely immune, the mentally strong learn to work with difficult and charged emotions in skillful ways and use those moments to g...2023-05-0817 minDeep ResilienceHow We Heal Our InsecuritiesWith the ability to connect on a global scale came the ability to compare ourselves to more people in more ways than ever before, and despite the confidence and seeming perfection so often portrayed on social media, we’re all born with the same two primal fears: the fear that we are not worthy and, consequently, the fear that we won’t be loved. The presence of these fears alone may seem to confirm their truth, especially with the marketing of self-love not as something to be practised but as something to be attained and worn for protection or ador...2023-05-0119 minDeep ResilienceThe One Distinction That Changes EverythingSometimes, a simple insight can make a world of difference. You may have heard the old adage, “pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.” Well, it’s true. We so often create unnecessary suffering, stress and struggle for ourselves by piling on and becoming stuck in unhelpful thoughts and emotional reactivity. But the idea that we can merely choose to eradicate suffering in our lives can be as demoralising as it is liberating if we don’t also have the tools to apply it. In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I introduce some of those tools by first out...2023-04-2514 minDeep ResilienceJumping to Generous ConclusionsAs we move through life, we constantly and often unconsciously jump to conclusions about the world and people around us. Influenced by our past experience, we make assumptions and draw inferences, attaching stories that support our brain’s built-in negativity bias over the objective reality of a situation. This seemingly small, reflexive mental habit can lead to misunderstanding, conflict and generally sap our mental strength, but what if, instead, we intentionally chose to assume the best instead of the worst?In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I share a story that allows you to observe this habit in...2023-04-1812 minDeep ResilienceHow to become non-reactiveAs we build our mental strength, thoughts or situations may still arise that trigger emotional reactions so intense we feel out of control and unable to think or behave rationally. Discouraging as they may be, these moments, when we most need to find our centre and be present, are opportunities to really put our mental strength to the test. When our awareness and objectivity are hijacked by strong emotions, how can we respond, rather than react, with clarity and calm?In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I explain the neurological relationship between this emotional reactivity and the...2023-04-1109 minDeep ResilienceReconnecting to your true natureMany of us are disconnected from the awareness of our oneness with nature. Preoccupied with the demands and activity of daily life, it’s easy for our sense of being to become divorced from the natural world, leaving us divorced, also, from our sense of belonging. The notion that we are separate from nature, rather than part of it, can cause feelings of meaninglessness and isolation, a kind of existential stress.In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I help you conceptualise and reflect on your interconnectedness with this unfolding web of life through a metaphor from Author an...2023-04-0410 minDeep ResilienceHealthy anger vs toxic angerWe all experience anger at times, and though we may have been taught that it’s inherently bad or toxic, anger is actually an important, healthy and valuable emotion; it tells us when something we care about is under attack and mobilises the body to take action. It’s our expression of this anger, or lack thereof, that can be problematic. Whether we’re prone to lashing out or bottling up, shifting to a more skillful and mindful expression can greatly benefit our relationships with both others and ourselves, and even our physical health. In this episode of Ment...2023-03-2818 minDeep ResilienceThree ways to use positive neuroplasticity to transform your mindYou’re probably familiar with the Buddha quote “Whatever one frequently ponders, that becomes the inclination of the mind,” a concept now backed by neuroscience. ‘Neuroplasticity’ refers to the ability of the mind to both form and transform neural pathways. One obvious example could be driving a car; eventually, the neural pathways grow so strong it becomes almost automatic. Similarly, when those neural pathways relate to anger, anxiety or otherwise negative thoughts, they too become hardwired. The good news is, with a bit of intentionality, we can actually rewire our minds to cultivate positivity and strength.In this episo...2023-03-2115 minDeep ResilienceGet Clear on Your Three Fundamentals to ThriveWhether we’re juggling high-pressure careers, bustling families or the pressures of global uncertainty and constant technological change, stress has become a near-constant in most of our lives, and this can make prioritising self-care a real challenge. Even if we manage to carve out a moment here and there, guilt may creep up, and we start to see the things that bring us pleasure and peace as optional rather than fundamental to our wellbeing. With self-ca+re left on the backburner too often or for too long, we’re at risk of burnout, breakdown or even physical illness. In...2023-03-1311 minDeep ResilienceHow to Let Go of Limiting BeliefsDo you find yourself buying into limiting thoughts and beliefs that weigh you down? Maybe you’ve been trying to block them or push them away, but they keep popping back up. Unhelpful and untrue thoughts can take up a lot of space in our minds, especially when we’re navigating difficult times, and, left unchecked, we can become attached to these narratives and let them pull us into emotional reactivity. When our mental commentary is unhelpful, it can really hold us back, create tension in our relationships and dampen our ability to have joy in our lives. In...2023-03-0611 minDeep ResilienceFacts vs StoriesDo you ever beat yourself up over how much money is in your bank account? Maybe you spiral into worry or self-doubt when a potential partner doesn’t get back to you about a date? These situations could be examples of prioritising stories over facts. If you’re left with $2, maybe you sit thinking about how you’re terrible with money and you’ll always struggle when, the simple fact is just that you have $2. When a date stands you up or fails to reply, you could be left thinking that you’ll always be alon...2023-02-2709 minDeep ResilienceTaking an Attention DietOur attention is under siege!These days there are so many things fighting for our attention that it can be a challenge to decide what to focus on.We are constantly bombarded by “mental junk food” while scrolling on our phones, flicking through magazines or surfing the internet.Like actual junk food, consumption of too much “mental junk food” can be damaging to our minds. On episode 24 of Mentally Stronger, I explore the idea of an attention diet. This idea allows you to experiment with what works for you and what...2023-02-2009 minDeep ResilienceThe Biggest Threat to Your Mental StrengthDo you ever have unhelpful thoughts gnawing away at your mood and self-esteem? In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I discuss how mindfulness can help you prevent negative thoughts, worries, self-doubts and resentments from becoming repeated patterns. For many of us, it’s the greatest threat to our mental strength, but if we have the tools, we’ll find the resolve and strength to beat those patterns.Here, I share the STOP method, a tool to help utilise mindfulness and move away from the negative thoughts that sap your mental strength. Key lin...2023-02-1311 minDeep ResilienceShould You Try to Get Rid of Thoughts?Should you try to get rid of your negative thoughts?It’s a question I get asked a lot when I'm teaching retreats and courses, so I wanted to explore the idea of thought suppression more closely. When we try to get rid of negative thoughts, many of us will naturally try to suppress them. But you may have realised by now that this rarely works. In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I explain what the research says about thought suppression and explore some alternative strategies to help you gain more control over your thoughts. ...2023-02-0614 minDeep ResilienceThree Steps For Any DilemmaWe all encounter challenging dilemmas in our lives. They’re those moments when we feel like we’re at a crossroad and don’t know which way to turn.Do I stay or do I leave? Do I buy or do I save? Do I take this path or that path?It can be a real struggle to figure out how to approach these dilemmas without feeling stressed, frustrated or confused. In fact, when we worry too much about these dilemmas, it can make us more puzzled and be pretty destructive.In this episod...2023-01-3007 minDeep ResilienceTaming Your Paper TigersHave you heard of the term ‘paper tigers’?It’s used to describe something or someone that claims to be powerful and threatening but, in actuality, is ineffectual and unable to withstand challenges.If we take this into the context of our emotions, many fear-invoking thoughts are ‘paper tigers’. They appear threatening on the surface but, as we think about them more or as time goes on, we realise they’re not things worth worrying about.On this episode of Mentally Stronger I ask, what are your ‘paper tigers’?Perhaps you catastrophise, p...2023-01-2306 minDeep ResilienceAre You Impressing or Connecting? You Can’t Do BothAs we go about daily life, a lot of our behaviour is compelled by a deep desire to be seen as successful, attractive and admirable. Maybe, we even want to be seen as better than others. Prettier, more intelligent, more successful or better at something. We all want to feel special. But what it all boils down to is…we just want to be accepted. We just want to be loved. In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I explore why we humans often find ourselves seeking to impress or compete with our peers, rather...2023-01-1605 minDeep ResilienceBeing Your Own AuthorityAt times, it can be a challenge to be true to ourselves. But developing trust in yourself and your own wisdom is key to greater mental strength.Absorbing advice, teachings and guidance from peers and leaders can, of course, be positive and help us learn. But it’s important to know when this gets too much and stops us from trusting what our own instincts, intuitions and feelings are trying to tell us.In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I explore why it’s so important to be your own authority. For many of u...2022-12-1909 minDeep ResilienceWhy Your Emotions Are Allies, Not EnemiesIn our culture, we are repeatedly told that it’s bad to feel ‘negative’ emotions. When we feel emotions like fear, sadness, anger, and shame, we often believe we need to brush them under the carpet, suppress them or push on through.But, in fact, all emotions we feel serve an important purpose in our lives.In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I explore the idea that emotions are our allies – not our enemies. Emotions are like messengers. They hold valuable information for us about how we can navigate our lives. The most negative...2022-12-1208 minDeep ResilienceThe Four Stages of Becoming Mentally StrongSome of us are going through life, unaware of how negative patterns affect us. Some of us are the total opposite, breezing through, effortlessly practicing helpful mental strength skills and cultivating lasting happiness. All of us are somewhere on the path toward becoming mentally stronger, and all of us have the potential to reach that satisfying state of greater mental strength. In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I look at the four main stages we take to become mentally stronger. Plus, I share one of my favourite poems. See what emotions it evokes in you. 2022-12-0511 minDeep ResilienceResume Virtues vs Eulogy VirtuesHow can we cultivate a life of great meaning and fulfilment? Much of our lives are in pursuit of material goals and achievements like salary, job title, educational achievements and so on. While these things are great goals to have, if we want to find more meaning in our lives, we must not only pursue our “resume virtues,” but also focus on “eulogy virtues” as well. In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I explore the difference between resume and eulogy virtues and how the latter can help us live a life of greater meaning. I also explo...2022-11-2808 minDeep ResilienceWhat Is Toxic Positivity?Positivity is a wonderful thing. But there are times when it can go too far. Toxic positivity is a term used to describe an unhealthy fixation with positive thinking styles and pleasant emotional states. Someone caught up in toxic positivity may try to be happy all the time, put positive spins on negative experiences, and even encourage others to remain positive in tragic and traumatic times. While this sounds like a good thing in principle, it can prevent us from healing and growing. In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I explore the implications of tox...2022-11-1506 minDeep ResilienceThe Hypnotic Effect of Language: Change Your Words and You Can Change Your WorldWe often think of language as a vehicle for expressing ourselves to others. But we also speak to ourselves all the time in our minds. What we don’t often realise is the significant impact of the words we choose to use. These words make a huge impression on our moods, other people’s moods and even our health.In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I look at how changing our language, both within our self-talk and when we talk to others, can really transform us mentally and help us be kinder, more compassionate people. Li...2022-11-0708 minDeep ResilienceHow Are You Defining Success?We live in a world where the media defines success. Cash, cars, and expensive clothes are what many of us strive for, and we are told achieving these goals will make us happy and successful.But how much of that is really true?In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I ask: “How are you defining success?”It’s important to remember that we don’t have to buy into the idea that material wealth and individual achievement are what make us successful. We can determine our own goals and motivators to personify what we belie...2022-10-2407 minDeep ResilienceA Powerful Mental Strength Hack to Control the Focus of Your MindDo you ever catch yourself asking negative questions in your head, like “why is this happening to me?” or even “why am I such an idiot?”It’s no surprise that negative questions like these result in bad feelings. We can end up feeling disempowered, anxious, angry, or depressed. However, I want to share with you a simple but powerful mental strength hack. And that is learning to control the focus of your mind by asking better questions. In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I explore the effects of bad internal questions and how we can...2022-10-1009 minDeep ResilienceWhen In Doubt, Zoom OutIt can be so easy to get caught up in stress, anxiety, and unhelpful thoughts and emotions. In times like these, we need to create some mental space, but how? In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I explore a favourite practice of mine called “when in doubt, zoom out.”This practice helps us to zoom out from whatever negativity we’re focusing on at that moment, to see a wider perspective and create some much-needed mental space. I explain how to get started with the practice and the simple yet important benefits it can bring. Listen...2022-10-0307 minDeep ResilienceMy Story of Struggle to StrengthMental strength is not a destination. It’s not a perfection project. It’s a moment-by-moment choice that we make to tap into what’s deepest and truest in us, and to let that flow out of us unimpeded.It’s not about becoming something better. It’s about knowing ourselves more deeply and becoming ourselves more fully.In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I talk about my journey and what led me to where I am today. Plus, I share two of the important things I have learned along the way that have made the most p...2022-09-2615 minDeep ResilienceOverthinking vs Constructive Problem SolvingIt’s natural for us to overthink. We often find ourselves ruminating over things that have happened and overthinking how we dealt with situations. Many of us also worry about things in the future, like difficult conversations we will have to make, stressful presentations, or maybe our health or relationships. But letting go of overthinking can bring us a sense of freedom and peace of mind. It’s a great first step towards being more positive and practicing a much healthier alternative – constructive problem-solving.In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I’ll be providin...2022-09-1909 minDeep ResilienceDo You Struggle with Regret? Here’s How to Let It Go.Regret, for our hunter-gatherer ancestors, was a handy survival strategy. After living through a run-in with a sabre-toothed tiger or a rival clan, their minds went over and over the scenario in order to learn anything that would give them a better chance of survival next time. However, leap forward a few hundred thousand years and our minds tend to do the same thing around moments of hurt, embarrassment and shame, often in a way that isn’t helpful or useful. So how can we transform this cycle in order to use it in a he...2022-09-1211 minDeep ResilienceHow to Regulate Negative EmotionsThroughout our lives, we will encounter difficult emotions. They can often catch us off guard and bring about a sense of defeat or disappointment. At times, we will feel grief, sadness, anger, remorse, anxiety and a host of other emotions. It’s through these times that we need our mental strength the most.As human beings, our first instinct when these unpleasant emotions arrive is to either cover them up and distract ourselves or lose ourselves in them completely. However, there is another way that we can face these emotions and move through them in a h...2022-09-0512 minDeep ResilienceHow to Reduce Conflict in Your LifeUnfortunately, conflict is one of those things that pops up in our lives, whether we like it or not. Say someone cuts in front of you in a long queue, or someone shows up an hour late for a meeting without an apology. The list of possible scenarios goes on and on, and they can be seemingly big or small issues.In those moments, it’s natural to jump to a place of anger, among other unpleasant feelings. But anger doesn’t have to be our knee-jerk response. In this episode of Mentally Strong...2022-08-2908 minDeep ResilienceThree Simple Hacks to Let Go of NegativityIt’s sometimes a lot easier to look at the negative side of things. That’s generally the way the human brain is wired. So, those days when the grass seems greener on the other side, or when negative experiences steer you towards a pessimistic train of thought — that’s all totally normal.But just because it’s normal doesn’t mean it’s healthy to stew in a pool of unhealthy thoughts. That’s why this episode of Mentally Stronger is all about tackling negative thoughts in the simplest ways possible.Join me as I take us back t...2022-08-2208 minDeep ResilienceHow to Overcome Toxic Self DoubtSelf-doubt is a totally normal part of life. At some point, even the most confident people experience waves of doubt. And some experience it so much that it keeps them from acting on what’s important to them.While some self-doubt can be healthy, toxic self-doubt must be combatted. In episode one of my brand new podcast, Mentally Stronger, I explore what toxic self-doubt is, why we experience it, and three tactics for overcoming it.With Mentally Stronger, I’ll be exploring topics related to mental strength and mindfulness by sharing practical tools to tr...2022-08-1510 minDeep ResilienceWelcome to the Mentally Stronger PodcastHow do you handle the emotional highs and lows life is constantly dishing out? While you'll probably find lots of answers out there, the truth is that tackling these issues starts from a place of mental strength.As someone who has devoted years to understanding what it means to be mentally strong, Melli O’Brien shares doable, evidence-based techniques that’ll fuel the mind on her show Mentally Stronger.Are you struggling with anxiety, wondering how to overcome adversity or simply looking for ways to live the best version of your life?If so, then you’...2022-07-2601 min