Shows
The Jim Acosta ShowTexas Democratic Congressman Joaquin Castro and Van JonesThank you Liz Gumbinner, Rebecca Gummere, BerlinCompanion: Kreuzberged, Mike Gerle, Ramona Grigg, and many others for tuning into my live video with Van Jones and Joaquin Castro! Join me for my next live video in the app. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit jimacosta.substack.com/subscribe2025-04-1652 min
Going Deep: A Gay Guide to RealityThe Disorienting Quiet of a Post-AIDS RealityThis post is sexually explicit and very AIDS-y. Two states older gay men know well. Those adhering to the standard narrative I wrote about in my last post will find this content disquieting. So, with that warning, here goes. *A few months ago, on my knees, among hundreds of bodies writhing around me, a cock in my mouth exploded with a rare load in the G-dosed molly-spiked energy of a dance party dark room. I looked up and smiled with gratitude at the guy, who nodded down at me with a satisfied grin. ...2024-05-1713 min
Going Deep: A Gay Guide to RealityWhat Really Happens on a Gay Cruise?“Hey! It’s you guys. I didn’t know you’d be on the ship!” It takes me two full seconds to recognize the tall, lean Italian with dark eyes and grey-speckled beard stubble before a surge of joy-filled love overtakes me. I embrace him with one arm and squeeze my husband’s wrist in the elevator bay crowded with men in costumes. “Dennis! Look who it is!” We are taking a bathroom break during the first themed dance party of the seven-day March 2024 Atlantis Events (99% gay) cruise on the Valiant Lady, a Virgin Voyages ship...2024-04-1812 min
Going Deep: A Gay Guide to RealityOne Bag Of Bones At A Time.Easy to say. “You’re perfect.” “I see you as perfect.” All you need to do is let go of all the thoughts, beliefs, emotions, mental constructs, advertisements, comparisons on social media, and the tap tap tap of that nagging voice that says, “Don’t fall behind. You can still catch up. You can still win!” Just follow your breath. Well, notice it first. Can you? That thing you do every moment of every day. That very first thing you did when you slipped wet and cold into existence...2024-04-0803 min
Going Deep: A Gay Guide to RealityAn Opening of the Raw SelfJust feelings. That’s what this week is about. Preparing for an ayahuasca plant ceremony is an opening of the raw self. It’s day 6 of taking away most of the things that help me avoid feelings. Coffee, weed, alcohol, refined sugar, red meat, lots of other things… and, wait for it, ejaculation! Yup. Just sit there and take it bitch! Worried about your substack, your husband’s struggles, your relevance in gay men’s culture, your mom’s reality without your dad, your other mom’s torments, your sister’s well-being, your hea...2024-02-2903 min
Going Deep: A Gay Guide to RealityBeyond Sport F*ckingMoments after the door to my condo closed behind us, the stranger I’d cruised on the subway locked his mouth on mine. I eagerly accepted. The tension of 30+ minutes of eyeing each other in the train car, up the escalators, down Sunset Blvd., to this moment, piqued our primal need to engage. He pulled at the bottom of his shirt. I leaned away from kissing his scruffy face and said, “Hold on, can I get that for you?” and I slowly pulled his shirt up, revealing his bare skin, happy trail, belly button, chest, nipples...2024-02-0210 min
Going Deep: A Gay Guide to RealityThe Mostly Contempt Leather RemixMy last post, Love, Contempt, and Leather Contests, ended up being a lackluster whimper that confused a few people. Thank you guys for the feedback. “Where’s the contempt?” they asked. And they were right to ask. In haste to meet my publishing deadline (on the 1st and 3rd Thursdays), I rushed a piece that was not ready for release. I also let an effort to be magnanimous prevent me from being brave. I am afraid to hurt the feelings of people I have grown to care about, even love. But sometimes, we need to t...2024-01-2416 min
Going Deep: A Gay Guide to RealityLove, Contempt, and Leather ContestsOverwhelmed by crowds of geared-up men at my first leather event, a Tom of Finland “Butt Boy” party in Hollywood, I escaped to an outdoor patio for a cigarette. I was in my late 20s, in the mid-1990s, wearing gear I’d purchased specifically for the event: a harness, armbands, a classic leather cap, leather shorts, and boots from an army surplus store on Santa Monica Blvd. With my naked back against a cool brick wall, I watched as men drifted between rooms while I pulled casually on my cigarette, hoping to look like I belonged. Apparen...2024-01-1906 min
Going Deep: A Gay Guide to RealityBattlefield Awareness: Finding Focus in Sexual Playgrounds“I blink, and you’re hooked up with someone!” My husband says with his testosterone-fueled competitive voice.I get a wonderful turn-on when I see this side of my normally deferential, even-mannered, Vulcan-like boy. It’s dangerously delicious. His full 42-year-old, tall, masculine body radiates primal testosterone. Men turn me on, so seeing him charged with desire and vexed sexual frustration is intoxicating. It makes him sexually vibrant and desirable. I feel like a badass. And he confirms, with his horny, competitive frustration, that we’re still on the same page regarding our sexual desires and agreements. The...2024-01-0412 min
Going Deep: A Gay Guide to RealityYes, I Said “Old.” Calm Down.I was recently at an all-gay birthday party, standing in a small gaggle of well-known friends comparing ages. The birthday “boy” was 44. I let the group know I will be 59 this April. Then said, “I’m old.” “You’re not old!” One of them insisted, his eyes confused. I stood my ground and insisted that, by the numbers around life expectancy, I was in the final 3rd or 4th of my life. His expression changed to befuddled surprise. He then scanned me up and down before saying, with some exasperation, “But you’re not ‘old.’” It w...2023-12-2109 min
Going Deep: A Gay Guide to RealityWinning the PartyTwo years ago, while in my 57th year, I began going out to dance parties again. To my surprise, reentering the gay dance party scene at 56 proved to be, and continues to be, a much more edifying experience than it was in my 20s. I give credit for this transformation to decades of seeking with my MFT therapists Karen, Jim, Winston, and Sharon, a Forum-like intensive called The Experience, MKP men’s retreats, meditation retreats, yoga teacher training, coaching training, Tantra training, a personal meditation practice, and drugs. Of course, none of that would be poss...2023-08-0410 min
Going Deep: A Gay Guide to RealityInspired Sex Masterclass: "Let's Talk About Sex" BAM Episode RevisitedInterested in a 3-way? ... Sign up for our Masterclass Trio:Sex / Love & Relationships / Spirituality & Intuition BundleIn these courses, you'll learn tips, tricks and insider information from 3 generations of gay men.You'll leave knowing how to prepare your mind, body, and spirit to give & receive the sex you desire and deserve.You'll explore finding love in all the right places!Find the inspired answers inside of you waiting to be discovered.Evoke your true desires and empowering your own authentic spirituality.Join...2020-11-0627 min
Going Deep: A Gay Guide to RealityExploring Mentorship with Sister UnityInterested in a 3-way? ... Sign up for our Masterclass Trio:Sex / Love & Relationships / Spirituality & Intuition today!In these courses, you'll learn tips, tricks and insider information from 3 generations of gay men.You'll leave knowing how to prepare your mind, body, and spirit to give & receive the sex you desire and deserve.You'll explore finding love in all the right places!Find the inspired answers inside of you waiting to be discovered.Evoke your true desires and empowering your own authentic spirituality.Join...2020-10-3010 min
Going Deep: A Gay Guide to RealityExploring Shame with Sister UnityHello GerleMen listeners.She is hilarious. She is irreverent. She is devastating in her academic acumen and her theatrical talent.And, although we may be laughing, her messages are packed with wisdom and insights many listeners will find life-affirming.While we pause our regular episodes and prepare a spectacular Season 2 of the GerleMen Podcast, we’d like you to enjoy some short, bonus episodes, co-hosted by my dear friend and rambunctious orange Nun, Sister Unity of the Los Angeles House of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence....2020-10-1611 min
Going Deep: A Gay Guide to RealityExploring Intuition with Sister UnityDear listeners - join us next week for our Sex, Love & Relationships virtual workshop!!We'd love to see you join the discussion and connect in real-time. xoHello GerleMen listeners.She is hilarious. She is irreverent. She is devastating in her academic acumen and her theatrical talent.And, although we may be laughing, her messages are packed with wisdom and insights many listeners will find life-affirming.While we pause our regular episodes and prepare a spectacular Season 2 of the GerleMen Podcast, we’d li...2020-10-0211 min
Going Deep: A Gay Guide to RealityExploring Inspiration with Sister UnityHello GerleMen listeners.She is hilarious. She is irreverent. She is devastating in her academic acumen and her theatrical talent.And, although we may be laughing, her messages are packed with wisdom and insights many listeners will find life-affirming.While we pause our regular episodes and prepare a spectacular Season 2 of the GerleMen Podcast, we’d like you to enjoy some short, bonus episodes, co-hosted by my dear friend and rambunctious orange Nun, Sister Unity of the Los Angeles House of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence....2020-09-1811 min
Going Deep: A Gay Guide to RealityExploring Empowerment with Sister UnityHello GerleMen listeners.She is hilarious. She is irreverent. She is devastating in her academic acumen and her theatrical talent.And, although we may be laughing, her messages are packed with wisdom and insights many listeners will find life-affirming.While we pause our regular episodes and prepare a spectacular Season 2 of the GerleMen Podcast, we’d like you to enjoy some short, bonus episodes, co-hosted by my dear friend and rambunctious orange Nun, Sister Unity of the Los Angeles House of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence....2020-09-0409 min
Going Deep: A Gay Guide to RealityExploring Celebration with Sister Unity!Hello GerleMen listeners.She is hilarious. She is irreverent. She is devastating in her academic acumen and her theatrical talent.And, although we may be laughing, her messages are packed with wisdom and insights many listeners will find life-affirming.While we pause our regular episodes and prepare a spectacular Season 2 of the GerleMen Podcast, we’d like you to enjoy some short, bonus episodes, co-hosted by my dear friend and rambunctious orange Nun, Sister Unity of the Los Angeles House of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence....2020-08-2108 min
Going Deep: A Gay Guide to RealityFeelings, Sex & Queer Hollywood - Celebrating Season 1Hello GerleMen listeners!I want to thank you for listening to the premiere season of the GerleMen Podcast as we wrap up Season 1.On the show, we explored everything from “feelings” to “sex” to “spirituality” to “queer Hollywood” all sprinkled with the reality of the COVID-19 pandemic and a resurgence of social justice with Black Lives Matter protests.A special highlight for me personally was the episode with my Momon Father where he told us about ‘loving-kindness.'When this all started, I had no idea what was involved with producing a podcast. There w...2020-07-3105 min
Going Deep: A Gay Guide to RealityBAM: Let's Talk About SexI need to get honest with you about sex.Because I love it, and believe that celebrating mindful, “conscious sex” is essential for gay men’s dignity. My last "Being A Man," or BAM, episode was about moving from oppression to celebration; and I barely mentioned sex at all.After a long discussion with my boyfriend regarding my struggle writing that episode, I realized that I had let my socialized, American, fear about sex, launch me into a clumsy, diatribe about fear itself, and my fear of...2020-07-2425 min
Going Deep: A Gay Guide to RealityThe Union of Sex & Spirit with Yogi Joel BenjaminToday’s conversation with Joel our first deep dive into the connection sex and spirituality.Joel helps us try on the ancient Tantra concept that everything about our experience on earth is spiritual -- including our sexual energy.Prior to the pandemic, I visited Joel’s gorgeous studio in Seattle where I learned to celebrate, cultivate, and conserve my own lower chakra energy. The experience was an embodiment of transforming crotch-centered connections into a heart-centered community. Enjoy the show.We talked about:Tantra yoga [7:53]Union of sex and s...2020-07-1752 min
Going Deep: A Gay Guide to RealityRev. Jesse - Just F-ing Love Each OtherRev. Jesse Brune-Horan has been a celebrity chef and a personal trainer, appearing on both Bravo and Oprah. But his true calling is his spiritual work and mission. On this episode, he shows us how celebrating his authenticity as a gay man is key to his spiritual growth. Rev. Jesse has a deep sense of personal dignity, a no-nonsense realness toward embracing spirituality, and an ability to give white people concrete advice on advancing social justice for black Americans.Jesse is a gay man whose connection to his spirituality is his key to true freedom a...2020-07-1054 min
Going Deep: A Gay Guide to RealityHealing Trauma & Shame with Brian D. MahanToday I talk with Brian D. Mahan. He is a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner. I wanted to talk to Brian because he is a treasure trove of information on healing trauma. Trauma is something all humans experience, but gay people and people labeled as “the other” tend to experience more than our fair share of it.Brian is a self-described “wounded healer” who describes how we can use our bodies as a conduit to the wisdom of our intuition. Since our intuition is where the answers to happiness live, I wanted to hear more about reclaiming our true...2020-07-031h 01
Going Deep: A Gay Guide to RealityAdventures in Brotherhood with Chris Kuwahara-SmithToday’s guest is Chris Kuwahara-Smith. I wanted to interview Chris because he creates heart-centered community through his organization, California Gay Adventures (CGA). During CGA-hosted camping trip in Zion National Park, it became clear to me that Chris is doing something important - something that is both classic and radically different. California Gay Adventures delivers iconic American outdoorsmen culture (that’s the classic part) and he does it specifically for gay men and LGBTQ people. This former boy scout from Idaho finds that idea to be pretty radical. Chris has leveraged his love...2020-06-2653 min
Going Deep: A Gay Guide to RealityHey Gerle! Gifts of the Gay Son with Mike & His DadToday's is a very special Father's Day episode of “Hey Gerle!” with Mike's father, Bill!The “Hey Gerle!” episodes are designed to be an “ask anything” Q&A between me and you, the listener. I will normally be doing these with the help of my GerleMen Podcast family, Garrett & Lesley.On this special Father’s Day edition of “Hey Gerle,” my dad and I will both be asking each other questions and answering each other’s questions. My Dad answers questions about what it was like to be a Mormon father with a gay son, and...2020-06-1955 min
Going Deep: A Gay Guide to RealityHealthy Sex with Aaron Ferrante-AlanToday I talk with Aaron Ferante-Alan.Aaron is a very close friend of mine who I deeply respect for his intellect and his bravery, but most importantly, his vulnerable honestly. He’s a man I consider family and I’m thrilled to have him on the podcast speaking about his professional specialty, sex/relationships, and how all that relates to our mental health. We talked about:Sexual Addiction vs. Compulsion [4:40]Gay Mirroring and Overcoming Shame [15:00]Open Relationships and Sexual Balance [25:23]Gay Gifts [37:46]Investing in Yourself and in Others [45:33]Mentioned in t...2020-06-1252 min
Going Deep: A Gay Guide to RealityJai Rodriguez - Queer HollywoodI was excited to talk to Jai Rodriguez because I’d seen him on Queer Eye, then I realized I’d seen him perform in one of my favorite musicals ever, “Zanna, Don’t!”So I was a bit star struck.I don’t like admitting that, but I was.Then the real magic happened when we spoke, one gay man to another.Jai is approachable and tells us how it really is for queer people in Hollywood, how COVID-19 is affecting his sex life, growing up evangelical, and being a mentor. ...2020-06-0558 min
Going Deep: A Gay Guide to RealitySocial Injustice - George Floyd Mattered #BlackLivesMatterThis is my response to the murder of George Floyd at the hands of a police officer. I’m 55 years old. I was born in 1965. Before I was 5 years old, Martin Luther King would be murdered, Drag Queens and trans women would fight off the police in front of Stonewall, and the United States would launch a rocket that would land men safely on the moon.In 1992 I listened to the same cacophony of helicopters that are in the air in Los Angeles and many other cities today, as people took to the stre...2020-05-3111 min
Going Deep: A Gay Guide to RealityBAM: From Oppression to CelebrationToday’s episode is the 2nd installment of my “Being a Man” series.This is an intimate 1on1 between me and you, the listener. I will present ideas on “living” on “being” (as in Being A Man) that I find useful in my own life. Being A Man episodes are: part older brother insight, part theoretical sandbox, and part Gay Elder pontificating.These are ideas I’ve cobbled together from just paying attention during my life, from doing my own personal work with therapists, from writing my memoir, from belonging to different kinds of fraternal grou...2020-05-2925 min
Going Deep: A Gay Guide to RealityWisdom of the Tribal Elder with Dr. Don KilhefnerToday’s guest is Dr. Don Kilhefner.I wanted to interview Dr. Don Kilhefner because his name and accomplishments show up nearly every time I do work on elevating Gay Male Existence. He’s a living icon of gay activism.In his 80’s, he is still a dynamic force in the gay community. As you will hear in this episode, it’s a community he considers family.Dr. Kilhefner has a remarkable amount of energy, vision, experience, and wisdom he generously offers to his family on a daily basis .Another guest, who has done and...2020-05-2252 min
Going Deep: A Gay Guide to RealityYuval David: The Loving AdventurerToday I talk with Yuval David.Yuval is an accomplished actor, filmmaker, content creator, and activist. But the biggest reason I wanted to have a conversation with him is because of his attitude.His motivation for doing all of these things comes from a place of love. If you have already listened to the first Being a Man, or BAM episode, you’ll remember that I’m big on understanding our core motivations, our feelings, our foundational beliefs about ourselves.Because when we do that, we get what we want.What Yuva...2020-05-151h 05
Going Deep: A Gay Guide to RealityQ&A: Hey Gerle, why do gay men...?This is the first in a series of Q&A episodes. Feel free to submit your questions via Facebook, Twitter or using the voice memo feature on your smartphone and emailing it to Mike@gerlemen.com.Enjoy the show!We talked about:Why did you start this podcast? [06:59]Is there anything that’s off the table in these Q&A? [10:45]What’s the impact of physical distancing due to COVID-19 on the LGBT community? [11:47]How are you managing the tight living quarters? [18:44]Why are gay men still on Scruff and...2020-05-0854 min
Going Deep: A Gay Guide to RealityIntuition is Everything with Dr. Frankie BashanToday I talk with Dr. Frankie Bashan, renowned relationship coach and dating expert. Dr. Frankie Bashan (or, just Dr. Frankie) is the founder of Little Gay Book, the most successful exclusively lesbian (and bisexual women) matchmaking agency in the United States. I wanted to interview Dr. Frankie Bashan because of her authenticity, her dignity, and her courage to serve her community. She leads by example. If I am reincarnated as a lesbian, I hope to be exactly like Dr. Frankie Bashan. Dr. Frankie launched “Little Gay Book” and quickly became the premiere lesbian matc...2020-05-0156 min
Going Deep: A Gay Guide to RealityMy Hero’s Journey & Mentors with JD WolfeToday, I’m speaking to JD Wolfe.I wanted to interview JD because I saw his gifts in action in brotherhood at the ManKind Project (MKP). It’s a pleasure to have JD Wolfe joining us on today’s podcast to discuss (among other things) re-framing our gay personal history as a hero's journey, healthy emotional advice for this quarantine season, and navigating healthy, sustaining relationships.He has the ability to connect with men and support them in their own work to become better individuals and better members of society. That’s exactly what the...2020-04-241h 04
Going Deep: A Gay Guide to RealityBAM: The Courage to FeelWelcome to the "Being A Man" series!These are not “BE a man” directives. Instead, I present ideas on “living” and “being” I find useful in my own life.I’m not telling you what to do to prove you’re a man. I’m sharing insight on “being,” the inward reflections of a conscious man who knows what he wants and how to get it. Your authenticity is the tool and a heart-centered connection with yourself, with other gay men, and with your own chosen commun...2020-04-1731 min
Going Deep: A Gay Guide to RealityWeHo Mayor John D’Amico, COVID-19 & AIDSToday we talk with the Mayor of West Hollywood, John D’Amico. He’s a civic leader who recently contracted COVID-19 and is here to tell us his story.I first met Mayor D’Amico when I was working in the City Manager’s Office at West Hollywood City Hall. Later, John believed in my vision of creating “TRIBE - Gay Men’s Discussion Group” that was made possible by the City Council and I facilitated for over 5 years.For more than 20 years, Mayor John D’Amico has participated in city leadersh...2020-04-1047 min
Going Deep: A Gay Guide to RealityThe Queer Hero's Journey with Sister UnityBlessings from Sister Unity. Sister Unity and I met more than 25 years ago at a photo shoot where the boys were naked and the sisters were in full, clownlike “face”: bright-colored heretical nun gear. We were shooting for a “cooking calendar” fundraiser. I stood on set naked while Sister Unity drew the Ohm symbol on my right butt cheek in cake frosting. It was a wonderful beginning. Later I noticed this incredible being, along with the other Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence providing rituals in unusual places like bars and leather contests....2020-04-0356 min
Going Deep: A Gay Guide to RealityConnection, Death, Sex and OpportunityAs a culture, we are facing a sexual moratorium that, for gay men, is simultaneously familiar and completely new.I discuss the impact on gay men’s connecting culture, hooking up, missing the gym, AIDS vs. Coronavirus, and the opportunities this social isolation presents.The GerleMen team was planning to launch this podcast in June of 2020 on Father’s Day, but right now, it’s impossible to have a conversation about brotherhood, conscious sex, and heart-centered connection without also discussing the isolation caused by the Coronavirus Pandemic.So, we are putting this out now be...2020-03-2713 min
Going Deep: A Gay Guide to RealityGrowing up “girly”.I grew up in the late 70s and early 80s as a kid in the state of Nebraska, Wyoming and Idaho with a last name pronounced girly.Yeah, you heard that right, girly. That name was challenging. It was a daily experience and being seen for who I was a gay boy. And then lying to everyone, telling them that the girly nature inside of me was just a joke.Fostering heart-centered connections between gay men is what this podcast is about. It's a place for gay men, and anyone self-identified as “the oth...2020-03-2102 min
NITECAST RadioNITECAST Radio 005 with Selidos - Khésis Guest MixFor the fifth episode of NITECAST Radio we have a new warm up mix from @selidos along with a guest mix from @khesis. After dropping his three track 'Boy' EP with us in May, we thought it would be a great time to get him on guest mix duties for NITECAST Radio.
-Selidos Tracklist-
ButRic - Balam (Original Mix)
Ellroy – Nantengo (Original Mix)
Kyzen - One Drop (Original Mix)
Santos - This La (Butch Remix)
Selidos - Perfusion (Original Mix)
Step Time Orchestra - Ask Yoself
Joshua - Let The Spirit (Original Mix)
-Khésis Tracklist-
Khésis - Boy (Orig...2017-06-271h 02