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Today’s Lucky WinnerHotter Than Hell: Full Cast Q&AHey, Li'l Buddies!We figured we owed you a little laughter after making you cry until you shidded and farted with the series finale. In this "Hot Ones" inspired (but legally distinct from "Hot Ones", we cannot stress this enough) Q&A, the cast goes on a hot sauce journey while we answer listener submitted questions. There's also a bit at the end where you get some details about the spinoff!Support the showWriter, DirectorBrianne Leeson...
2025-08-151h 41Today’s Lucky WinnerGoodbye, L'il BuddyIt's time to say goodbye. All good things come to an end- including the life of Dawn Menendez. CASTDawn - Autumn Potts @littleinkpottsNarrator, Leonard - Carl Brooks @carlbrooksvo Kieghan - Taryn Gray @tarynmgraySunny, Ricky, Viv - Violet Lantz @ultraviolet222Rita, Grackna - Brianne Leeson @AuDHDBri (Instagram)Kyle - James LeesonJacksie - Jacks Leeson-Lantz AKA The Most Missed Boy in the world
2025-08-0145 minToday’s Lucky WinnerSee You Next Time, Gay BoyIn this penultimate episode!Let's have a moment of silence for Sanguis Pharmaceuticals. Moment over. The final battle for the fate of earth is underway, but will the gang be able to win? Kyle, Ricky, and Vicki confront the higher ups- and we find a name for Ricky's baby. The time difference between hell and Texas is bigger than you'd think- and horribly inconvenient. CASTDawn - Autumn Potts @littleinkpottsNarrator, Cowboy Witch, Leonard - Carl Brooks @carlbrooksvo Maureen - T...
2025-07-1530 minToday’s Lucky WinnerEight Refrigerators TallIn this episode: Rita has GOT to stop singing Shania. Kieghan learns about demonic community building. Dax and Grackna help out, even though everyone's being totally weird about it. Hink meets an asteroid, and finally feels like things might be okay. We contemplate the logistics of having sex with a living skeleton person. Uriel meets Daddy Hans. CASTDawn, Ashley, Uriel - Autumn Potts @littleinkpottsNarrator, Leonard - Carl Brooks @carlbrooksvo Kieghan - Taryn Gray @tarynmgraySunny, Millie, Vi...
2025-07-0133 minToday’s Lucky WinnerLet's Go, Girls!In this episode! The gang learns about city planning and water treatment facilities! Dawn has learned a new language? We get a performance from the Boobenheimer Family Band. Baby witches are out here shooting guns. Kieghan gives everyone at The Workshop a strong talking-to about implicit bias. Vicki educates us on the difference between a kink and a fetishCASTDawn, Angel - Autumn Potts @littleinkpottsNarrator, Leonard - Carl Brooks @carlbrooksvo Kieghan, Roger - Taryn Gray @t...
2025-06-1530 minToday’s Lucky WinnerTransfemininomenonIn this episode: Death eats a Hot Pocket! Leonard eats a can of soup! Dawn eats a cookie! Rita receives some fruit snacks! Sunny gets a vampire boner! (Damn, was Brianne hungry when she wrote this episode?) A leftist podcast has a few guests that are definitely not encouraging you do to anything illegal. CASTDawn, Melnach, Tawny - Autumn Potts @littleinkpottsNarrator, Leonard, Jessup - Carl Brooks @carlbrooksvo Kieghan, Linda - Taryn Gray @tarynmgrayS...
2025-06-0132 minToday’s Lucky WinnerTime to Make Some MagicIn this episode- Millie tiene chorro, porque ella bebió demasiado café. Vampire hell is kind of dope looking! Ricky searches for some special doodads with their bony little fingies. Kyle eats a Hot Pocket! Kieghan is forced to overcome his fear of public speaking- BIG TIME. A local barista goes beast mode on a demon. CASTDawn, Real Estate Lady - Autumn Potts @littleinkpottsNarrator, Leonard - Carl Brooks @carlbrooksvo Kieghan, Linda - Taryn Gray @tarynmgraySunny, Millie, Ricky, Viv - Viol...
2025-05-1532 minToday’s Lucky WinnerThe AssicutionerIn this episode: Kieghan meets a fake southern belle. Viv has a wild idea- wilder than the time Rita thought she could pierce her own nipples with a paperclip. Jacksie finds a new toy- but it's not for buppies. The gang regroups at Leonard's house, where Rita marvels at the Aquadouche 5000. We figure out the math on how many people Rita could kill in an hour. Dawn - Autumn Potts @littleinkpottsNarrator, Reginald, Leonard - Sean Turner @seanwkturnerKieghan, Linda - Taryn Gray @tarynmgray
2025-05-0133 minToday’s Lucky WinnerGenevieve, The Bone CollectorIn this episode! We learn the fate of Amelia Earheart! Don't talk to Millie before she's had her coffee. Leonard texts an old friend, who might be into some less-than-savory business. Rita, Sunny, and Dawn are in the closet- like literally, though. We all know they're queer. Jacksie sees like, the MOST BONES he's ever seen at once. CASTDawn - Autumn Potts @littleinkpottsNarrator, Leonard - Sean Turner @seanwkturnerMavis - Taryn Gray @tarynmgraySunny, Millie, Ricky - Violet Lantz @ul...
2025-04-1530 minToday’s Lucky WinnerSigma NutsIn this episode: Judith receives some delightful news from a minion. (not the "banana" kind of minion) Nostradamus needs to work on his penmanship. Rita squashes a beef with the angel of death. Jacksie is a very helpful young man. Rita might have developed a dark passenger that urges her to kill. Dawn makes a killer 90's reference. Kieghan can't handle his weed. Dawn, Melnach - Autumn Potts @littleinkpottsNarrator, Nostradamus - Sean Turner @seanwkturnerAzrael, Guard 1, Kieghan - Taryn Gray @tarynmgrayS...
2025-04-0131 minToday’s Lucky WinnerHe/They SkeletonSend us a textIn this episode: Millie gets a big ouchie, and Leonard resists the urge to say, " I told you so." Leonard cracks open a cold, refreshing Zima with a former lover. Sunny and Dawn get a lesson in reaper language. Rita discovers some trauma she needs to unpack (later, she doesn't have time now!). Charles Dickens McFucking LOSES IT! Kyle, Viv, and Kieghan summon a baddie who's down to swallow anything. Kieghan enjoys a relaxing time with some Minecraft and BlueyDawn - Autumn Potts @littleinkpotts
2025-03-1528 minToday’s Lucky WinnerVampires, Demons, and TexansSend us a textIn this episode: Viv cuts a bitch! Rita may or may not have sucked off Charles Dickens. The ladies try to get to Florida. Millie ignores Leonard's warnings, and pays for her hubris- also, she might ruin his area rug. An old lover pays a visit it Leonard. Kyle is summoned- just the one Kyle. Not all Kyles. Nostradamus tries to be a hacker. Rita uses her knowledge of Flava Flav to recruit a comrade to their cause.Dawn - Autumn Potts @littleinkpottsNarrator, Ch...
2025-03-0128 minToday’s Lucky WinnerNewsflash, Pervert!Send us a textWe're back, babies! Time to figure out wtf Rita, Dawn, Sunny, and Jacksie are gonna do, after getting transported somewhere far, far, away. Millie does a murder, and Leonard has a bad time at a train station. Rita may or may not have sucked off a famous English author. Judith decides to check out the public transportation in The Exchange. Dawn, Minion - Autumn Potts @littleinkpottsNarrator, Leonard - Sean Turner @seanwkturnerJackal Demon - Taryn Gray @tarynmgraySunny, Millie, Debbie, Rasgulath - Vi...
2025-02-1525 min
InfodumpiesSo, You Wanna Start Lifting WeightsSend us a textBrianne takes a dump!Inspired by a conversation in the Mixgnomer Discord Server, Brianne talks about the basics of weight lifting! She's not a personal trainer or a doctor of liftology, just an autistic bitch who loves lifting weights. She talks about the biological adaptations that happen when you lift different amounts of weight, the myriad reasons you might want to lift weights that have NOTHING to do with how much you, and the basics of starting your own lifting routine. She discusses how much protein you should aim for when...
2025-01-1059 minToday’s Lucky WinnerRita's Holiday Special: A Christmas CarolSend us a textHappy Holiday's, Li'l Buddies!In this final holiday special of the WHOLE SERIES, we travel back in time to 1843, when Rita meets a writer, desperate to make a deadline. (it's Charles Dickens, Bee-Tee-Dubs) Enjoy this holiday special, which definitely won't have any implications in upcoming episodes. (tee-hee. I'm lying!)Voiceover - Violet Lantz @ultraviolet222Charles Dickens, Narrator - Sean Turner @seanwkturnerRita - Brianne Leeson @audhdbriSupport the showWriter, DirectorBrianne LeesonProducers
2024-12-1542 minToday’s Lucky WinnerSpecial Announcement: Enter the Dreamscape (aka, Discord Server)Send us a textHi! We're opening up our Discord server to all Li'l Buddies, patreon supporters or not. Also, we have a very cool mutual aid opportunity! We definitely don't have something special for you between now and January 15th. Go find the link to our Discord server below!Mutual Aid for Wolf:https://chuffed.org/project/115407-help-a-disabled-queer-avoid-bankruptcy?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAaa8eN5qJl-O0DJ8gOkBtdr1lJCZDjXl0WHW0CwUaEo1N6XPSFsT_tEUIuI_aem_QVVFdn-WqWxk9X--MBwmJgSupport the showWriter, DirectorBrianne Leeson
2024-11-1802 minToday’s Lucky WinnerPanenisSend us a textIn this MID-SEASON FINALE: Debbie has a highly erotic meeting and makes a handshake deal. Azrael, The Angel of Death, creams their G-D jeans over who pops into their cubicle next. We ponder the plural of panini. Nostradamus accidentally eated too many shrimps. We learn more than we wanted to about goat demon anatomy. Leonard knows someone who may have JUST what the gang needs to sabotage the DMV. Kieghan is AT CAPACITY, do you hear me?! He's had ENOUGH! Don't talk to him about stuff or things, ANYMORE. They're sabotage a...
2024-10-1529 minToday’s Lucky WinnerCuck ChairSend us a textIn this episode: We hear about the best place to get your live Christmas trees, if you live in or around Buda, TX. We meet a talented actor from Evil Julliard. Carmilla gives the best TV interview. I mean the best one of all time. Barbara Walters has been awful quiet since it aired. (mostly because she's dead, but you get it) Rita defends her stinky son. Dawn gets a very bad vibe at the Warlock Magic Depot. Leonard gets a call at an inopportune time. Dawn - Autumn Pot...
2024-10-0128 minToday’s Lucky WinnerTurlet CrimeSend us a textIn this episode!Debbie does a Scott Bakulas at Githmar's! (That will make sense when you listen) There's erotic ring toss and shirtless demons! Judith discusses the economy on the news. Debbie's fanny pack is the talk of the town. Rita gets so angry, she could shit. Guard, Dawn - Autumn Potts @littleinkpottsNarrator, Leonard, Blue Shirt, - Sean Turner @seanwkturnerDemon, TV Demon, Kieghan - Taryn Gray @tarynmgraySunny, Debbie, Rasgulath, Millie - Violet Lantz @ultraviolet222Githmar, Rita, Judith - B...
2024-09-1527 minToday’s Lucky WinnerKidney Stone DoulaSend us a textIn this episode: Carmilla has a press conference, which is impressive for someone who had her head ripped off last season. Kyle talks to an old friend. Kieghan receives a cryptic message about his future from a frenchman. Dawn keeps that MF-ing thing ON HER. Rita tries to discuss her fantasy Star Trek threesome. Oh, and by the way- Cowabunga. Weird Hat, Dawn - Autumn Potts @littleinkpottsNarrator, Leonard, Blue Shirt, Helmet Hair, Nostradamus - Sean Turner @seanwkturnerUgly Shirt, Kieghan - Taryn Gray @tarynmgraySu...
2024-09-0127 minToday’s Lucky WinnerMagma Ole-PussSend us a textIn this episode: Judith tries to find a snack for her newborn baby at the train station. Dawn is a stereotypical Texan…AGAIN! Rita’s body of work as a photographer is explained to a hobgoblin. Dawn falls asleep, and it’s kind of a big deal. Sunny does a smooch on someone! Leonard gets uppies.Dawn - Autumn Potts @littleinkpottsNarrator, Leonard - Sean Turner @seanwkturnerBusiness Demon, Figgle, Warehouse Demon - Taryn Gray @tarynmgraySunny, Rasgulath, Millie - Violet Lantz @ultraviolet222Judith...
2024-08-1529 minToday’s Lucky WinnerDog CheeseSend us a textIn this episode: Kyle keeps on barging into workshops where artificers are jorkin' their peanitses. Kieghan really needs to see a therapist. Viv learns about the DMV's magic computer. Kyle struggles with the word "patchouli". Sunny and Dawn enjoy the temporary comfort of Leonard's house- and his weird shower head attachments. Para español, oprima el dos. Rita freaks tf out, but TBH, that could be half of these episodes. Rita is DEFINITELY NOT HAVING MOOD SWINGS. Cameron dies. You know, beloved TLW character "Cameron"?Dawn - Autumn Potts @littleinkpotts
2024-08-0127 minToday’s Lucky WinnerPimplemooseSend us a textIn this episode: Judith “makes” a new friend. Dawn is SUCH a stereotypical Texan. Leonard pulls of the heist of the century. There’s a grilled cheese sandwich made with pancakes instead of bread. Sunny takes a little nap. We see Leonard’s house! Rita does a little Hobbit cosplay. Debbie explores Vitriol’s nightlife. Why does everyone know about Rita’s bad poop?!Dawn - Autumn Potts @littleinkpottsNarrator, Leonard - Sean Turner @seanwkturnerAsmodeus, Goat Head, Bull Head, Figgle - Taryn Gray @tarynmgraySunny, De...
2024-07-1530 minToday’s Lucky WinnerSuckfest '77Send us a textIn this episode: A Dallas-based televangelist has this whole "holes in the sky" thing figured out. Leonard learns about sustainability and running a Casino from one of the worst people he's ever met. There's a big puppy! Kieghan offers refreshments to a house guest. Rita uses the caveman method to fix a piece of DMV technology. Millie reveals the spoils of a secret heist she completed. Rita tries to eat dog food. Dawn - Autumn Potts @littleinkpottsPastor Jim, Narrator, Leonard - Sean Turner @seanwkturner
2024-07-0132 minToday’s Lucky WinnerGhostly ComradesSend us a textIn this episode! Debbie harasses an innocent Dawson's Creek fan. Rita may have killed someone. Rita also might have made a new friend, so I'd say that takes the sting out of the possible manslaughter. Sunny and Dawn have a heart to heart, while Jacksie tries to find a dry place to take a shit. Leonard flexes his survivalist skills. Kyle eats a new, herbaceous, salty candy. It's gross. Keighan has an incredible idea, that only involves a LITTLE SUMMONING OF THE DEAD, OKAY? Dawn - Autumn Potts @littleinkpottsNarr...
2024-06-1536 minToday’s Lucky WinnerRutabaga! Rutabaga! Rutabaga!Send us a textIn this episode: Rita and Millie do a breaking and entering! Judith attends a business meeting where there's more talk about cloacas than you'd expect. Dawn, Sunny, Leonard, and Jacksie stop by their local Bennigan's. Leonard finds some highly erotic literature on the ground. Did you know that with just a few lines, you can change a drawing of a four leaf clover into a fucked up little dick and balls? Rita sees the most beautiful room she's ever seen in her life. Millie explains Kalgrath demon anatomy. If you stop by, tell th...
2024-06-0131 minToday’s Lucky WinnerStinky DerekSend us a textIn this episode: Jacksie is a big, strong boy- like, more so than usual. Dawn, Sunny, and Leonard arrive in hell. Viv and Kieghan do shrooms together. They don't really know each other super well, so that sounds weird out of context, but we swear it makes sense. We learn that the Rita is genetically predisposed to enjoy gay oil wrestling. Kyle may or may not be violating someone's intellectual property, with one of his dreamscape rooms. Rita meets her new nemesis. Blender guacamole guy is dead. Horny Derek is her enemy now. M...
2024-05-1531 minToday’s Lucky WinnerLittlest BuddySend us a textIn this episode: We take a trip back to a WWII bomb shelter, with Judith! Kieghan nearly sends his weird gay aunts to hell, with his lack of impulse control. Leonard models the most charming novelty backpack. Jacksie does a poop in the kitchen. Debbie is in BIG trouble at work. Rita has issues with soap. Millie tries a carbonated beverage for the first time. Dawn, Uriel - Autumn Potts @littleinkpottsNarrator, Leonard, Jens - Sean Turner @seanwkturnerKieghan, Vampire, Lizard Demon, Bartender - Taryn Gray @tarynmgray...
2024-05-0136 minToday’s Lucky WinnerNever Speak To Me Of Craig!Send us a textIn this episode: Judith explores the local cuisine in hell. Dawn confirms that she's not receiving coded messages from the Duolingo owl. Leonard takes us back- WAY BACK- to the first attempted Infernal Bacchanal. Millie and Rita have some sisterly time, complaining about their dad. Rita is handling some new and exciting (derogatory) changes to her body. Dawn, Germ - Autumn Potts @littleinkpottsNarrator, Leonard - Sean Turner @seanwkturnerSquimmy, Kieghan, Todrick - Taryn Gray @tarynmgrayGarfie, Sunny, Delivery Driver, Millie - Violet Lantz @ultraviolet222...
2024-04-1530 minToday’s Lucky WinnerRectum WeevilSend us a textAnything you heard about demons coming from holes in the sky was entirely in your head. This isn't gaslighting. If the tretinoin and sunscreen aren't cutting it, Sanguis has a new anti-aging topical medication that will blow your balls clean off. Dawn has an unexpected lunch date over Vietnamese food. Cardi B is also there? Rita gets acquainted with the fast casual dining options and fauna of the hell dimension in which she finds herself. GUARD YOUR BUTTHOLE. Dawn, Wrinkle Woman - Autumn Potts @littleinkpottsNarrator, Chut Fu...
2024-04-0129 minToday’s Lucky WinnerTormentia'sSend us a textWe're back, baby! Mix a bunch of flavored syrups into your lead filled Stanley cup, and have a listen. The final season starts with our little family being split between dimensions. Dawn and Sunny come back home after the events of last season's finale. Leonard tells us about his struggle with Peyronie's Disease. There's a big hole in Dallas, and Rita had nothing to do with it. We meet a charming woman with 6 boobs. Rita learns that she really needs to start reading things before she signs them. D...
2024-03-1528 minToday’s Lucky WinnerSeason 3 Prelude - "Lord Vindicto"Send us a textWE'RE ALMOST BACK, BAY-BEE! HAPPY NEW YEAR! Here's a little foreplay for season 3. We'll see you on March 15th, Li'l Buddies! Cast: Brianne Leeson (@AuDHDBri) - RitaViolet Lantz (@ultraviolet222) - Lord Vindicto, MillieSean Turner (@seanwkturner) - Demon, Narrator Writer, DirectorBrianne LeesonProducersBrianne Leeson, Violet LantzEditor, Sound DesignBrianne Leeson Original music by Sean TurnerCover art by Bryn Keenum @bry...
2023-12-3107 min
Today’s Lucky WinnerFeed Drop! Infodumpies - Eternal Blue of the Spotless Goo: The History of HackingSend us a textViolet and Brianne made another show (non-fiction this time)! Infodumpies celebrates the autistic and ADHD skill of infodumping, following topics close to Brianne and Violet's hearts, and featuring occasional autistic and ADHD guests. Enjoy a sampling of Infodumpies, and make sure you subscribe to the show on your podcathcer of choice!____________________________________________________________________________________Violet takes a dump!Expert 90's hacker babe, Violet, teaches Brianne that hacking wasn't invented when the movie Hackers came out. Going far beyond Matthew Lillard's ouvre, Violet teaches us about phone phreaking, how the movie War Games...
2023-08-111h 04Today’s Lucky WinnerThe Luckiest of Lucky WinnersSend us a textListen, it’s the season finale, ya’ll. After that hell of a cliffhanger for the musical episode, things aren’t looking so great for the gals. Rita- Dawn- separated?! A relationship on the rocks?! I thought this was a goddanged comedy show, but we’re really leaning into the “drama” part of “audio drama” this time, huh? Cast:Dawn, Warlock 3, Demon 1 - Autumn Potts @littleinkpottsNarrator, Leonard, Crawford, Warlock 2, Demon 2 - Sean Turner @seanwkturnerSunny, Carmilla, Security, Millie - Violet Lantz @ultraviolet222Rita, Judith...
2023-07-1544 minToday’s Lucky WinnerDreamscape!: The MusicalSend us a textIt’s a musical extravaganza! Join our GOR-geous, BEAU-tiful starlettes as they tickle your ear holes and dazzle the senses- in an all singing, all dancing, mostly drug-induced cabaret, the likes of which you’ve never heard before. Will Rita come clean to her undead lesbian lover and soulmate? Will Dawn snap at being tricked into a musical? Find out, in “Dreamscape!: The Musical”Cast:Dawn - Autumn Potts @littleinkpottsNarrator, Sub - Sean Turner @seanwkturnerSunny, Domme Mommy, Debbie, Announcer - Violet Lantz...
2023-07-0151 minToday’s Lucky WinnerThe Boobenheimer Center for the Performing FartsSend us a textIn this episode: Jacksie takes on some personal projects in his room. (Under Rita and Sunny’s bed) Rita works on her mime skills, and she received a thoughtful gift from Sunny that leaves her wracked with guilt. Dawn and Rita grab a couple of frosty mangonadas. Carmilla definitely had nothing to do with the Telemoraid leak. She knew nothing about it, she hates it, and she’s definitely not lying. We learn about a new, non-surgical option for your saggy sack. Dawn hops into the dreamscape, catching Rita in a carefully choreographed meth...
2023-06-0127 minToday’s Lucky WinnerBiblically Accurate DebbieSend us a textIn this episode: Rita learns about proper hoof maintenance. Jacksie meets an old acquaintance. There *might* be leftover fruit snacks. Rita awaits hearing back from some contractors on some serious repairs. Carmilla lays off some of her managerial staff ( By eating them. She eats them. ) Crawford pulls a li’l sneaky on em’. Leonard gets an EXTREMELY intrusive call from Rita. Cast:Dawn - Autumn Potts @littleinkpottsNarrator, Leonard, Crawford - Sean Turner @seanwkturnerSunny, Carmilla, Rider, Debbie - Violet Lantz @ultraviolet222R...
2023-05-1526 minToday’s Lucky WinnerSwedish Sound PoundersSend us a textIn this episode: Dawn, Kieghan, Rita, and Viv visit the bustling town of Strappsville. Rita keeps on trying to be the best ally to her autistic BFF, and makes a disability accommodation for Dawn in the Dreamscape. Listen, if Rita can do it- who do we have to kill to get them elsewhere? No, seriously- WHO? Keighan and Rita buckle some swash. Viv looks at wibbly hole. Someone damages the facade of the historic Strappsville Herald building. Cast:Dawn - Autumn Potts @littleinkpottsNarrator, Leona...
2023-05-0123 minToday’s Lucky WinnerTeam Building OrgySend us a textIn this episode: We flash WAY back to when Judith and Carmilla first met. Rita pays homage to tap dancing legend, Cora LaRedd. Dawn may be coming around on the idea that The Narrator isn’t an auditory hallucination- wait…NAH, That would be wild if he were real. Nevermind. Judith hatches a plan that’s, I’ll say it- downright sinister. Cast:Abra, Dawn, Metatron, Vamp - Autumn Potts @littleinkpottsNarrator, Guard 2, Crawford, Leonard - Sean Turner @seanwkturnerCarmilla, Viv, Debbie, Martin, Guard 1, Kim...
2023-04-1527 minToday’s Lucky WinnerBuy Caulk For HolesSend us a textIn this episode: We partake in the #oldtimeymedicine challenge. Dawn has made a flow chart, and it is NOT shaped like a beepis this time! Rita learns a new vocab word, and Kieghan makes an enemy- even though he’s just a little guy. Vicki struggles to combat some dodgy potato salad. The mystery of Amelia Earhart’s disappearance is solved. Judith is NOT going to get the security deposit back on the Godslayer’s underground lair. Cast:Dawn, Metatron - Autumn Potts @littleinkpottsChad, Narrator...
2023-04-0137 minToday’s Lucky WinnerA Delicious Bevy of MILFs and DILFsSend us a textIn this episode: Rita shares a mixing bowl full of chili with one of her heroes. Master Leonard shares his thoughts on The OC. Kyle and Vicki have certainly found themselves in quite the predicament, and gas station boner pills may be their ticket out of it. Carmilla has a phone conversation with Charles. Charlie? Oh, “Carl”? That can’t be right. Cast:DEA - Autumn Potts @littleinkpottsNarrator, Master Leonard, Guard 2, DOJ, Crawford, Carl - Sean Turner @seanwkturnerGuard, Carmilla - Violet Lantz...
2023-03-1534 minToday’s Lucky WinnerZipple ZambeenusSend us a textIn this episode: Dawn threatens to strike down Carl with the most heinous of Necromancer curses. Carl teaches us all about why pesto is a great choice for someone who’s trying to sober up after eating an edible and smoking two joints (Ahem…DAWN). Sunny threatens someone with a gun. Wait, what? It’s Sunny- she probably has her reasons. Rita learns that her favorite hobby, recreational drugs, may be off the table for now. Cast: Dawn - Autumn Potts @littleinkpottsNarrator, Carl - Sean Tur...
2023-03-0138 minToday’s Lucky WinnerGimme That NuttyNut!Send us a textIn this episode: Dawn and Rita’s accidental fusion dance leads to an honest heart-to-heart. Dawn calls a friend to help de-Rita her brain. Bertram learns about a giant karate rat. Carl sets a fine example of body positivity. Viv shows up outside of The Workshop, so she’s definitely not some artificer hologram- not that Rita suspected that. Cast: Dawn - Autumn Potts @littleinkpottsNarrator, Carl - Sean Turner @seanwkturnerViv, NuttyNut Voiceover - Violet Lantz @ultraviolet222Rita - Brianne Lees...
2023-02-1533 minToday’s Lucky WinnerTransporter Accident-edSend us a textIn this episode: Dawn buys a lap dance, for reasons I’m sure will make a hell of a lot more sense once we listen to the episode. Rita makes some really poor decisions (what’s new). Carl the warlock shows off his collection of Super Sonico statuary. Dawn and Rita learn what it’s like to walk a few hundred feet in the other’s shoes. We meet the coolest kid on all of Victorian England: Bertram Thrompwhomple IV. Cast: Dawn, Candi - Autumn Potts @littl...
2023-02-0132 minToday’s Lucky WinnerASMR Story Time with Mistress Boobenheimer - Now in Stereo!Send us a text(This episode is best enjoyed with headphones.)Hello, my babies- Mistress Boobenheimer here. Enjoy this relaxing, highly erotic, and only slightly foot based, ASMR livestream experience. Listen to the dulcet tones of whale song surround you, in thrilling stereo, as you listen to a tale of historic love and shapely gourds. CastRita - Brianne Leeson @brianne_leeson (Instagram), @hotsauceghost (twitter/tiktok) ProducersBrianne Leeson, Violet LantzEditorBrianne LeesonOriginal music by Sea...
2023-01-1524 minToday’s Lucky WinnerBonus Episode - Blooper Reel Vol. 3: Bologna PognaSend us a textWe're taking a short break until February 1st! In the meantime, you wanna listen to us fuck up a whole bunch again? By far our THICCEST blooper reel to date, enjoy a veritable buffet of fart and dick jokes. Also: Check the links below to preorder your "Thirty, Squirty, and Vibing" shirt!ProducersBrianne Leeson, Violet LantzEditorBrianne Leeson Original music by Sean TurnerCover art by Bryn Keenum @brynandbristlesMerch!"Thirty, Sq...
2023-01-0129 minToday’s Lucky WinnerRita’s Holiday Special: A Phallus Palace Original MovieSend us a text This holiday season, The Phallus Palace Channel will have you falling in love, and filling your holes. Tune in for our new line-up of original holiday films. Beginning this Friday night at 9/8 Central, see the premiere of the new rom-com, that’s sure to be an instant classic. When Betty Bingus came to Strappsville, she thought the only thing that would be getting topped was the tree. Thanks to Mona Glasscock and her artisanal dildos, she’ll learn the true meaning of the holiday season. Starring Rita, Sunny, and a horned up granny- cozy u...
2022-12-1544 minToday’s Lucky WinnerInterfectores DeorumSend us a textIn this episode: Dawn and Sunny are concerned, when they overhear Rita having a secret meeting with a shady character. Dawn INSISTS on going to the strip club- hold on, that can’t be right. Carmilla has a sad announcement. Trapper and Judith get matching tattoos! How cute! Up next, your local news- sponsored by Sanguis Pharmaceuticals. Sanguis Pharmaceuticals LOVES the LGBTQ community! They make their logo a rainbow for Pride every year. What- What are you doing? Stop! Stop looking at their political donation history!Were old-timey doctors rig...
2022-12-0135 minToday’s Lucky WinnerAn Erotic Vore Fetish Drawing of The Backstreet BoysSend us a textIn this episode: Rita and Sunny discuss whether or not they should really be taking the warnings of an anxious, gassy vampire dog to heart. Dawn takes a look at Rita’s pink eye. Vicki and Kyle take a stroll, on their way to crack open a couple ice-cold containers of cottage cheese. Crawford learns that his dang telephone can take pictures! Judith finally remembers to call her mom. Carmilla plays some dodgeball. Cast: Dawn - Autumn Potts @littleinkpottsNarrator, Crawford - Sean Turner @seanwkturner...
2022-11-1533 minToday’s Lucky WinnerStay Frosty, Tall MommySend us a textIn this episode, the gang experiences what every TTRPG player has experienced: They have to finish a session that was supposed to be a one-shot, but it’s taking forever. Lucky for us, it’s funny! Rita gets folded up like a paper airplane, the Narrator might get laid, Dax and Grackna discuss how fragile masculinity can be, Rita receives a gift from a mysterious portal, and Kieghan talks to a very good boy. Cast: Dawn - Autumn Potts @littleinkpottsNarrator - Sean Turner @seanwkturner
2022-11-0149 minToday’s Lucky WinnerAll Guards Are BastardsSend us a textIn this episode, the gang does what anyone would do, while playing D&D under the influence of magical psychedelics- turn into opossums and start a riot in a tavern. Grackna makes a love connection, Sunny experiences a little barbaric rage, and Rita throws that ass in a circle. Also, wtf is Dawn supposed to do with a backpack full of rope? Cast: Dawn, Server - Autumn Potts @littleinkpottsNarrator, Guard - Sean Turner @seanwkturnerSunny - Violet Lantz @ultraviolet222Rita, Gra...
2022-10-1538 minToday’s Lucky WinnerCockgoblinSend us a textIn this episode, Dawn and Rita run some errands. We learn more about Viv’s whole story- you know? I’m glad we learn more about her. She’s a nice lady. Sunny gives Dax her sales pitch for vampirism. Rita makes a shocking discovery about koalas, while Dawn gets into mycology. At the end of the episode, the gang rolls for initiative. Cast: Dawn - Autumn Potts @littleinkpottsNarrator - Sean Turner @seanwkturnerSunny, Viv - Violet Lantz @ultraviolet222Rita - Brianne...
2022-10-0135 minToday’s Lucky WinnerMorse Code ModeSend us a textHow was your summer break? Uh-huh. Wow! And you all hid the body together? Neat! Okay, we’re done talking about you. Our break was fine, but we’re back with a new episode, and we’re mad horny to tell you about it. In this episode, Rita tells Sunny she’s being an asshole. Dawn and Jacksie spend some quality time together in the shitter. Rita avoids distraction, and crunches some serious numbers. Sunny commands Jacksie to do her bidding. Rita learns something new about vibrators. Cast:
2022-09-1534 minToday’s Lucky WinnerBonus Episode - Congratulations! (Remix) ft. DJ JacksieSend us a textWe're taking a short, mid-season break! That means as a small consolation, you get this funky little remixed table reading of our pilot episode. The gang swapped roles, and did their very best to play each others' parts (that's not a sex thing). Listen to narrated foley work, the wisened counsel of "The Dick Wolf", and a whole lot of ad libbing. We'll be back with regular episodes on September 15th.Cast:Narrator, Ricky - Autumn Potts @littleinkpottsDawn - Sean Turner @seanwkturner
2022-09-0140 minToday’s Lucky WinnerBonus Episode - Blooper Reel Vol. 2: Splurtin' the 'GurtSend us a textWe're taking a short, mid-season break! That means as a small consolation, you get to hear the latest volume of some of our silliest fucky-wuckies. We fuck up A LOT. Listen to us go on tangents, talk about gay moon sex, splurt that 'gurt, and discuss off-label usage of Fushigi balls. We'll be back with regular episodes on September 15th. ProducersBrianne Leeson, Violet LantzEditorBrianne Leeson Original music by Sean TurnerCover art by Bryn Kee...
2022-08-1519 minToday’s Lucky WinnerI’d Choose You TooSend us a textIt’s the mid-season finale, and the thrilling conclusion of the mission at Dallas Digital. Why is that chair made of skin? What’s Rita’s beef with Bobby Flay? What does one person do with 5 Fushigi balls? No, really. We we’re asking you. You don’t know either? I guess we should listen to the episode, huh? Cast:Dawn - Autumn Potts @littleinkpottsNarrator - Sean Turner @seanwkturnerSunny, Devlin - Violet Lantz @ultraviolet222Rita, Sabine - Brianne Leeson @brianne_leeson...
2022-08-0133 minToday’s Lucky WinnerTrubbing in Your Haunted HouseSend us a textWe left you with a bit of a cliffhanger last time, huh? But relax, we're back to offer some answers to that nail biting conclusion. JUST KIDDING! DON'T UNCLENCH YOUR BOOTYHOLES YET! Dawn and Rita find that Dawn's dick-shaped flowchart did NOT account for anything in this entire episode. Uncle Nate kicks some ass, and he also kicks some other things he probably shouldn't have been kicking. We meet the ever-so-charming cater waiter, Vergooba Simmons. Also, no matter what Rita says, don't Google the word "trubbing".Cast: D...
2022-07-1530 minToday’s Lucky WinnerCroquemboucheSend us a textIn this episode: Tonight's the night! It's the full moon, and the ladies bring Uncle Nate along to help them infiltrate the energy vampire meeting at Dallas Digital Labs. What does this have to do with French patisserie? What's this episode name about? Well, I guess we'll have to listen to figure it out. Cast: Dawn - Autumn Potts @littleinkpottsNarrator, Milk Maid 1 - Sean Turner @seanwkturnerSunny, Milk Maid 2 - Violet Lantz @ultraviolet222Rita - Brianne Leeson @brianne_leeson (Inst...
2022-07-0131 minToday’s Lucky WinnerNutbusters!Send us a textWhen there’s something out of the ordinary in your sexual dreamscape, who are you going to call? The Nutbusters, probably. In this episode, Dawn finds that the Dopplebanger is far from passing the Turing test. We find Rita revolutionizing dance. Kyle and Vicki discuss 90’s boy bands and art supplies. We get REALLY worried that Dawn is taking her artificer-ing in a not so great direction. Seriously, the optics are terrible. Master Leonard has to deal with Debbie’s INCESSANT sexual innuendo. Cast: Dawn, Television - Autumn...
2022-06-1528 minToday’s Lucky WinnerThirty, Squirty, and VibingSend us a textIn this episode: Dawn and Rita discuss furry erotica. Kyle enjoys a thrilling conversation about the writings of Heraclitus, with a vital, sexual woman. Carmilla visits Amsterdam, and she’s not even going to any museums. What the fuck? Not even the Van Gogh museum? Whatever, it just sounds like a wasted trip. Anyway, where were we? Oh! Dawn and Sunny discuss higher education and Mr. Worldwide. Rita adds dicks to a classic Andrew Lloyd Webber musical. A couple of succubi present Rita with a business opportunity. Cast:...
2022-06-0129 minToday’s Lucky WinnerSIKE!Send us a textIn this episode! Rita finds a combo of foods that would instantly kill a pilgrim. We take a trip to Jizzleburg, with a layover in Boobtown. Judith entertains a thought experiment with a new friend she makes while out to dinner with Crawford. The ladies have a late night rendezvous in front of the unnecessarily sexy construction worker statue at White Rock Park. Cast:Narrator, Crawford - Sean Turner @seanwkturnerDawn - Autumn Potts @littleinkpotts Pedro - James Leeson @jamesislamesSunn...
2022-05-1530 minToday’s Lucky WinnerUnconscionably Wet FruitsSend us a textIn this episode! Rita’s phone won’t stop farting. Dawn shares the beauty of an impeccably organized binder with Viv. We meet a cardigan named Greg. Sunny entertains a particularly HORNY guest on her porch. (It’s a goat man. The guest is a goat man.) Kyle makes a new friend in hell, and they discuss what the heck French Stewart has been up to lately. For real, what’s he been up to? Rita chats with The Library, and they discuss the time Rita chugged laudanum at a party in 1830. Ca...
2022-05-0131 minToday’s Lucky WinnerCrawford, Texas RangerSend us a textCrawford is gonna give you a peek at HIS Big D (he means Dallas). Wrap your mouth around a Big Red (That’s a local cream soda), and let Trapper Crawford show you what a REAL man can do. (You’re literally just spending the day at work with him, nothing weird.) You’d better show some respect to this former Texas Ranger, or he’ll eat your ass. (He may mean sexually? I genuinely don’t know. He needs to work on his phrasing, BIG TIME.)Cast:Crawford...
2022-04-1531 minToday’s Lucky WinnerMaster LeonardSend us a textIn this episode: Dawn and Rita discuss JFK’s boyfriend. Rita takes a trip to the library, and this time, it’s NOT for anonymous sex! Whoa!! Carmilla is both mad and disappointed at her terrible son. An evil unlike we have ever encountered challenges Carmilla. Sunny receives a charming invitation. Cast:Narrator, Crawford, Master Leonard - Sean Turner @seanwkturnerDawn, Library - Autumn Potts @littleinkpotts Jacksie - Jacks Leeson (No social media. He’s just a little dog.)Viv, Carmilla...
2022-04-0130 minToday’s Lucky WinnerDickfartSend us a textIn this episode: Dawn plays cards with a new friend, and for once, she isn’t playing Magic the Gathering. Carmilla gets candid about her TV watching habits. We learn about demonic genitalia. Carmilla is confronted with the consequences of some of her actions. For real? I thought that didn’t happen to rich people!Cast:Narrator, Nostradamus - Sean Turner @seanwkturnerDawn, Uriel, Journalist - Autumn Potts @littleinkpotts Jacksie - Jacks Leeson (No social media. He’s just a little dog.)Ca...
2022-03-1531 minToday’s Lucky WinnerMommy WrestlingSend us a textIn this episode, Rita grapples with jealousy, and an overprotective good boy. Dawn struggles with allistic people and their need to use SUBTEXT in EVERYTHING. (Just say what you mean, wtf? Like it’s hard?) Sunny proposes something EXTREMELY CUTE AND GAY. Rita’s Dreamscape gets a little disorganized. Cast:Narrator, Mister Cock - Sean Turner @seanwkturnerDawn, ADHD - Autumn Potts @littleinkpotts Jacksie - Jacks Leeson (No social media. He’s just a little dog.)Sunny, Deputy Handy, Lady Railington...
2022-03-0132 minToday’s Lucky WinnerJacksieSend us a textIn this episode, we learn about doggies! Little puppers! Wif their little baby fangs and their glowing red eyes- wait, what? The gals hunt for what could be the CUTEST demon they’ve ever encountered. Rita throws fistfuls of guacamole at a columbusing restauranteur. We learn about the newest cryptocurrency, Goochcoin. Cast:Narrator, Wishbone, Crypto-bro - Sean Turner @seanwkturnerDawn, Alex - Autumn Potts @littleinkpotts Jacksie - Jacks Leeson (No social media. He’s just a little dog.)Sunny, Debbie, Kirk...
2022-02-1530 minToday’s Lucky WinnerAll the Glowing Skeleton Porn Ever MadeSend us a textIn this episode: Kyle sets some clear boundaries with Dawn. You know what? Good for him. Sunny gets a surprise in a parking lot, and that isn’t a sexual innuendo for some sex act performed in a car. She’s just in a parking lot, and she is surprised. It’s more exciting than it sounds, but less exciting than the vehicular sex act. The gals get a voicemail from someone who saw their ad on social media, and they are fucking PUMPED. Cast:Narrator, Voicemeail - Sean Tur...
2022-02-0135 minToday’s Lucky WinnerMighty Messy Power BottomsSend us a textWe’re back, BAY-BEE! In this episode, shit’s bugnuts in Dallas. Demons are tearing up straight people trying to bone down in their cars, Sunny has a garage full of VHS tapes, Dawn sounds a lot different, but we aren’t going to make a big deal about it. There’s a 30ft tall dildo, Rita’s beggin’ for a peggin’ from a lady night, and Kyle is experiencing some real executive disfunction. Also: Help the whole gang who makes this show exist under the crushing burden of late stage capitalism by...
2022-01-1532 minToday’s Lucky WinnerSeason 2 PreludeSend us a textYa’ll want a little SNEAKY SNEAK of what’s happening in Season 2? You got it, BAY-BEE! For this trailer, we welcome Autumn Potts to the cast, as Dawn. Season 2 begins on January 15th! Cast:Dawn - Autumn Potts @littleinkpotts Rita - Brianne Leeson @brianne_leeson (Instagram), @hotsauceghost (twitter/tiktok)Writer, DirectorBrianne LeesonProducersBrianne Leeson, Violet LantzEditor, Sound DesignJames LeesonOriginal theme music by Sean Turner
2022-01-0104 minToday’s Lucky WinnerRita’s Holiday Special: Sponsored by Horse MedicineSend us a textThanks to some help from her friends, drugs and gas station wine, Rita gets to meet The Narrator. That’s right, not only is Rita breaking Sunny’s rule about no food in the bathtub when you’re high, she’s also breaking the fourth wall. Join her as she regales the Narrator with the REAL story of the nativity, because she was THERE…allegedly. Cast:Narrator - Sean Turner @seanwkturner Sunny - Violet Lantz @ultraviolet222Rita - Brianne Leeson @brianne_leeson (Instagram), @hotsauceghost (twitter/tikt...
2021-12-1527 minToday’s Lucky WinnerBonus Episode - Season One Bloopy ReelSend us a text Hey Li’l Buddies! Here’s a little bonus episode to tide you over until season 2 premieres on January 15th. We record our episodes together over Zoom, which helps with our performances, but leads to A LOT of goofs. Enjoy some of our choicest outtakes from season 1, and get the hit song, “Miss Congenial Poop Disease” stuck in your head. Sound Design by James Leeson Cover art by Bryn Keenum @brynandbristleshttp://www.todaysluckywinner.buzzsprout.comhttp://www.instagram.com/luckywinnershowhttp://www.twit...
2021-12-0113 minToday’s Lucky WinnerBonus Episode - Butthole Bears: The Unauthorized BiographySend us a textDid you know that when Dawn listens to that audiobook in episodes 17 and 18, Brianne wrote a whole 18 minutes of audio content, full of jokes and quality information about tardigrades, that you barely heard? She thought it would be smart to have Dawn listen to an audiobook, forgetting that she would be the one who had to write that audiobook. Feast your ears on the unauthorized biography that the butthole bears didn’t sign off on us making - mostly on account of them being so small and not having thu...
2021-11-1523 minToday’s Lucky WinnerA Boat Mechanic with Gout (Who was Born in August)Send us a textListen, it’s the dang season finale. After the big news last episode, do we really have to catch you up to speed? You get some answers. You also get some questions. Maybe you get a little bit turned on? Who are we to judge? Enjoy this dummy thicc season finale, Li’l Buddies. Cast:Narrator, Crawford, Jack - Sean Turner @seanwkturnerDawn - Emma Fuentes @og_emmakidNate, Kyle, Death - Kyle Coughlin @kale_simplykaleViv, Sunny, Rider, Carmilla - Violet...
2021-10-151h 07Today’s Lucky WinnerToday’s Lucky KyleSend us a text There comes a time, for every eternal being, when they have to throw the rules out the window. Whether it’s after a bad breakup, losing your job, or missing out on those Manolo pumps your had your eye on: Sometimes a girl, or a Kyle, has to cut loose. The DMV may be the department that never sleeps, but thanks to cold brew (and not needing to sleep), neither does Kyle. For a guy who who handles all of Today’s Lucky Winners, I couldn’t help but wonder, when would he get to be...
2021-10-0128 minToday’s Lucky WinnerA Crusty White Dragon That Hoards CocaineSend us a textThat last episode certainly left us with a tense cliffhanger, huh? I’m sure that all turns out okay. Dawn and Rita have a heart to heart while Rita is 8 blunts deep. They attempt to open a cabinet together. (That’s more exciting than it sounds) We find out that Rita has been hiding something. Rita shows an interest in whether or not aliens are real, but we’re sure it’s just because she wants to have sex with them. The ladies go to a place where Dawn is the cool one, and nobo...
2021-09-1535 minToday’s Lucky WinnerColonel Abernathy SwathmoreSend us a textIn this episode- Oh, wonderful. More poop and barf jokes. And Rita does some atypical sex stuff. Why did I even show up to describe the episode to you today? It’s always the same bull- I-I’m sorry. I stayed up late after crushing a case of energy drinks, and I’m turbo grouchy. I’m sorry I snapped. I hate when we fight. I love this job, they don’t drug test. Coincidentally, that’s exactly the same thing that happens to Dawn in this episode. Dawn stays up late research...
2021-09-0131 minToday’s Lucky WinnerDoing Some “Arts and Crafts”Send us a textIn this episode: We take a detour to Dawn’s college days, where she learns about that thing where it’s daytime, but like, you can still see the moon? How is that legal? Crawford eagerly tries to keep drunk drivers off the road. That tattooed vampire lady from last episode talks about the infeasibility of trickle-down economics. Rita and Sunny go on a date. We don’t have a joke here, it’s just cute as hell. Dawn and Dax smoke a bunch of weed and talk about air fryers. Cast:
2021-08-1533 minToday’s Lucky WinnerDopplebangerSend us a textIn this episode, there’s a small glitch in Rita’s dreamscape matrix. We learn how to supplement our IRA with silver. We meet a character who’s kind of a big deal. No joke. You’re gonna cream your jeans about it. We spend some time listening to public radio, and we’ve added the Armadillo Art Festival to our calendars. Rita enjoys some trail mix. Cooter is at your service. Cast:Narrator, Willie, Sub, - Sean Turner @seanwkturnerDawn, Hacker Vamp - Emma Fuentes...
2021-08-0135 minToday’s Lucky WinnerBussymelonSend us a textIn this episode, Rita receives a diagnosis that explains A LOT. There’s a strange man at Sanguis, and he’s smoking a long cigarette in the lobby. Crawford engages in hand to hand combat with a warlock. We meet a bubbly guy named Collin, on his first day at his new job. Something spooks the hell out of Carmilla. Wait, seriously? What could be so scary as to spook her? She ripped a guy’s HEART out a couple of episodes ago! Jesus, whatever it is, it’s gotta be unsettling. Dawn decides t...
2021-07-1530 minToday’s Lucky WinnerSmooth Jazz? Really?Send us a textIn this episode: Sunny gets not fast enough, and terribly furious, while driving the ice cream truck. Rita does the impossible! Well, the fact that she does it means it’s not impossible, but she does the highly improbable. There’s smooth jazz! We learn that the litmus test for whether or not someone is irredeemably evil lies in asking them their thoughts about the 1999 film, The Mummy. Kyle asks to speak to the manager…OF HELL. Dawn does drugs. Hold on, did we read that right? Yeah! Dawn’s the one who does drug...
2021-07-0131 minToday’s Lucky WinnerThe Ole’ Lickety SplitSend us a textWell jeez, last we saw Sunny, she found herself in quite the tempting predicament, huh? Perhaps this episode provides a resolution to the cliffhanger we left you on last time, or maybe it doesn’t, because life isn’t fair. (Just kidding! It does. We love you. We wouldn’t leave you hanging.) See what the stars have in store for you this week. It can’t be as bad as getting your face peeled off. Carmilla befriends a youth pastor. Crawford cries about his momma not taking him for walkies,
2021-06-1530 minToday’s Lucky WinnerLove, SunnySend us a textThis episode, Dawn is kicking sensory overload in the taint, and doing some real badass detective stuff at the VoyR Convention. Rita harasses white people who culturally appropriate, and summarily mess up, foods from other cultures. Dawn is forced to do some pest control. Sunny learns about emojis and gains a new admirer. We learn that if an energy vampire ever invites you to a party, maybe you should turn down their invitation. P.S. Hey. Hey, you. Are you new here? Is this your first time listening? What are you doing at episode 18? This is a serial. Go back to the first episode. Go on, GIT!
2021-06-0133 minToday’s Lucky WinnerInga and the BoobenheimersSend us a textIn this episode, Sunny conducts a science experiment so sexy, Bill Nye is SHOOK. Rita and Sunny make us wonder if they ever went through an improv group phase in college. Dawn, on the other hand, shows us that she’s not great at “Yes, and,” but she MIGHT speak Finnish. Rita reminisces with a guy named Russell, who has definitely met her before. Crawford raises his voice to his mom, who is not acting like her usual #girlboss self. Dawn gets overwhelmed, and finds comfort in butthole bears. P.S. Hey. Hey, you. Are you new here? Is this your first time listening? What are you doing at e...
2021-05-1531 minToday’s Lucky WinnerDonkey Lady BridgeSend us a textThe Donkey Lady Bridge of San Antonio is a pretty messed up urban legend. The gals cut through the misinformation, and get the story straight from the horse’s...well, donkey’s mouth. We meet a trio of ghost hunters. Rita meets a celebrity. Dawn resurrects an old special interest in the name of detective work. P.S. Hey. Hey, you. Are you new here? Is this your first time listening? What are you doing at episode 16? This is a serial. Go back to the first episode. Go on, GIT! Cast:Narrator, Greg - Sean Turner @seanwkturnerDawn, Bing...
2021-05-0135 minToday’s Lucky WinnerCongenital Poop DiseaseSend us a textIn this episode, Dawn tells Rita a story rife with nudity. We learn about a rare, congenital poop disease. The gals take a road trip, and Rita eats her body weight in pretzels. We hear about the incredible gifts that our local public radio station is offering in their membership drive. Remember, their programming is made possible by listeners like you. The ladies meet a donkey! (Trust us, it’s more important that it sounds.) P.S. Hey. Hey, you. Are you new here? Is this your first time listening? What are you doing at episode 15? This is a serial. Go back to the first episode. Go on...
2021-04-1534 minToday’s Lucky WinnerWarlock OrgySend us a textIn this episode, Dawn gets an offer she might refuse. She and Rita have a heart-to-heart over a stolen wallet. Rita does drugs. We understand that could be literally any episode, we just want you to know she does drugs in this one. Sunny and Rita do some SMOOCHIN’. We flashback to hell, where Rita teaches a demon about film history. Carmilla has a press conference. There are no drugs or smooching at the press conference, but it may be worth your time. P.S. Hey. Hey, you. Are you new her...
2021-04-0138 minToday’s Lucky WinnerGrackna the UnendingSend us a textIn this episode, a sexy misunderstanding leads to a knockoff Boyz II Men, evisceration, and Furbies. Dawn has some questions for an impossibly sexy Warlock. Rita eats a bunch of snacks. We know that happens every episode, but that’s really the highlight of the adventure for her. Carmilla and Crawford discuss early 00’s films and the ramifications of cyber bullying. Oh, and a giant demoness is summoned directly from the pits of hell, coming face to face with our protagonists. Whoops! Almost forgot to mention that. P.S. He...
2021-03-1541 minToday’s Lucky WinnerSluts for SocialismSend us a textDiane, It’s 11:30 PM in Rita’s Dreamscape. The gals are entering the town of Twink Peaks. They see an old misogynist get an ass whoopin’, some dude’s butthole, and we take a brief detour to Australia. Rita begins a new business venture. Will she become a #girlboss? Dawn follows up on a dead witch lead, crossing paths with the Warlofia. Hold on, Warlofia? Like the Warlock Mafia? They do NOT call it that. P.S. Hey. Hey, you. Are you new here? Is this your first time listening? What are...
2021-03-0131 minToday’s Lucky WinnerSweet God, Not My Cloaca!Send us a text The Oxford Dictionary defines the cloaca as “ A common cavity at the end of the digestive tract for the release of both excretory and genital products in vertebrates (except most mammals) and certain invertebrates. Specifically, the cloaca is present in birds, reptiles, amphibians, most fish, and monotremes.” Now that we have the important stuff out of the way: The gals are back in the 21st century! What did they change? What does this new timeline look like? Rita is concerned as to whether or not the Baja Blast still exists. A new and...
2021-02-1537 minToday’s Lucky WinnerDr. Sunny Simmons, MD, Vamp Pt. 2Send us a text The girls are still back in 1968. Do they “edit” the timeline? That’s our nice way of asking if they say “Let’s screw with it and make another, much hotter timeline! Who gives a flying fart? Like this timeline is very good anyways? Heck that shart!” (We’re still not sure if we can cuss in these descriptions.) What will their new future look like? Is there going to be weird sex stuff at this vampire ceremony? Is Sunny going to be turned? I’m sorry we don’t have answers. This is just the episode d...
2021-02-0134 minToday’s Lucky WinnerDr. Sunny Simmons, MD, Vamp Pt. 1Send us a text Dawn goes back to 1955 to make sure her parents bang, or she won’t exist...hold on. Wait, that’s a different time travel story. In our story, the gals go back to 1968, where a very human Sunny has accidentally joined a vampire cult. Can they stop her from getting turned? SHOULD they? We don’t quite remember the movie The Butterfly Effect, but I think the lesson was that it’s all chill, so long as no butterflies are hurt. IDK, it’s time travel. What’s the worst that could happen? P.S...
2021-01-1534 minToday’s Lucky WinnerUncle Nate’s Grilled Cheese Sandwich Special Pt. 2Send us a textRita is forced to actually do her dang job, when Dawn decides to be a badass and take on a building full of vampires. Wasn’t this nerd supposed to be easy to chaperone? We really got the impression she’d stay out of trouble. But now, she does acid in the woods and shoots vampires? It’s like the ending of Grease, without the misogyny and flying car. P.S. Hey. Hey, you. Are you new here? Is this your first time listening? What are you doing at episode 8? This is a se...
2021-01-0131 minToday’s Lucky WinnerUncle Nate’s Grilled Cheese Sandwich Special Pt.1Send us a textThe gals finally have their full moon appointment. Dawn meets an old friend, which is weird, given that her only friends are Rita and Sunny. Flashback to the turn of the century, where the Fruitopia flowed like water. P.S. Hey. Hey, you. Are you new here? Is this your first time listening? What are you doing at episode 7? This is a serial. Go back to the first episode. Go on, GIT! A special thanks to our consultants. One wishes to be anonymous (still invaluable!), and the other i...
2020-12-1535 minToday’s Lucky WinnerDinosaur Valley TripSend us a textDawn and Rita have some down time before their mysterious full moon rendezvous. Rita verbally threatens someone at a sample kiosk. The gals take a trip, in more ways than one. Rita meets and old friend. Like, a REALLY old friend. The girls share their tips on making the most delectable, garlic butter roasted artichokes you’ve ever had. (Pssst...the secret ingredient is drugs.)P.S. Hey. Hey, you. Are you new here? Is this your first time listening? What are you doing at episode 6? This is a serial. Go bac...
2020-11-3031 minToday’s Lucky WinnerHard Bodied Cubicle JockeysSend us a textIn this episode, it’s the heist of the century! Not this century, but maybe a century where there wasn’t a lot going on. Definitely one of the centuries without indoor plumbing. Just a pretty chill century where there wasn’t a lot of cool stuff to heist. Also: There’s a heart to heart? Do we do that? Do we have earnest emotional moments on this show now? IDK! Listen to the episode and find out. P.S. Hey. Hey, you. Are you new here? Is this your first time lis...
2020-11-1530 minToday’s Lucky WinnerButthole BearSend us a textThe gals enter the DREAMSCAPE. They meet a new old timey friend...maybe a friend? Still not clear on that. Rita workshops some ideas with an iconic film and dance legend. Dawn shows us the treasure she’s been hiding in her garage. There’s a thrilling rescue mission for a butthole bear. Cast:Narrator, Crawford - Sean Turner @seanwkturnerDawn - Emma Fuentes @og_emmakidGreylance, Gene, Chris - Kyle Coughlin @kale_simplykaleFelton, Rider - Violet Lantz @ultraviolet222Rita, woman - Bri...
2020-11-0126 minToday’s Lucky WinnerCabroncitaSend us a textDawn, Rita, and Sunny save the entire city of Dallas. No joke. They manage to do it without ever leaving Dawn’s apartment. They barely even leave the living room! I swear! How did they do it? Well, I’m not going to tell you in the episode description. Listen to the dang show. Cast:Narrator - Sean Turner @seanwkturnerDawn - Emma Fuentes @og_emmakidKyle, Senator Owens - Kyle Coughlin @kale_simplykaleCarmilla, Sunny - Violet Lantz @ultraviolet222Rita - Bri...
2020-10-1728 minToday’s Lucky WinnerMorgue Meet CuteSend us a textWe’ve been searching all day to find the Wikihow on what to do if your grim reaper swallows a bunch of pills that are evidence in a murder case. We couldn’t find one. Maybe Dawn can figure it out on her own? I don’t know. How did people handle this before the internet? Also, Dawn and Rita take a field trip to the morgue. And there’s nudity. How did we fit nudity into an audio medium? Listen and find out!Cast:Narrator, Dad - Sean T...
2020-09-3030 min