Shows
No Crying In BaseballGravity Always WinsWe celebrate the “gravity” and the “magnitude” of the moment as Jen Pawol makes history as the first woman to umpire a regular season MLB game. We also put it into the disappointing context that not only is MLB 28 years behind the NBA, but, as Chelsea James notes, we almost had robo-umps before a woman had the gig. Our continuing excellent taste in baseball boyfriends is reinforced as the Heart and Hustle winners are announced, with an 80% NCiB BF showing. The PCA report turns into a vocabulary lesson with Outs Above Average and 5-Star catches. Shea turns batting lead-off into a sh...
2025-08-121h 01No Crying In BaseballStrong Opinions and Very Loud VoicesAgain, we have publicly committed to predictions an hour before the (all NCiB Boyfriend) Home Run Derby begins, that you won’t hear until you already know who won. How’d we do? We also check in on our pre-season predictions on standings and individual awards and learn that while some are just as terrible as history has taught us to expect, we are surprisingly right on in some places. Those places are not the American League. We’ve got some pretty good running “for a catcher,” more benchmarks for PCA, Kyle treating OPACY like home, and some pretty irate Phil...
2025-07-1558 min
Innocuous Basterds#294 - NCIB 2025: Championship Rounds“NCIB 2025: Championship Rounds” (Episode 294) The ‘Sterds™ take the Sweet Sixteen down to the Elite Eight and eventually into the Final Four to get to the last matchup that led to the 2025 NCIB Celebrity Death Tourney champion! | Creative Commons Music: "Habitual Ritual" by Revolution Void freemusicarchive.org/music/Revolution_Void/ | *** Warning: NSFW due to some harsh language, a few sexual references, and potential drunkenness of the hosts and/or guests. Listener discretion advised. | © 2015-2025, JonSquared Media
2025-04-0658 minInnocuous Basterds#293 - NCIB 2025: Round 1“NCIB 2025: Round 1” (Episode 293) The ‘Sterds™ take the contenders for the 2025 NCIB Celebrity Death Tourney through Round 1. Listen to learn who’s going on to their untimely demise and who’s going home to live another day | Creative Commons Music: "Habitual Ritual" by Revolution Void freemusicarchive.org/music/Revolution_Void/ | *** Warning: NSFW due to some harsh language, a few sexual references, and potential drunkenness of the hosts and/or guests. Listener discretion advised. | © 2015-2025, JonSquared Media
2025-03-2356 minInnocuous Basterds#292 - NCIB 2025: The Seeding“NCIB 2025: The Seeding” (Episode 292) The ‘Sterds™ achieved the impossible—they seeded the 2025 NCIB Celebrity Death Tourney! | Creative Commons Music: "Habitual Ritual" by Revolution Void freemusicarchive.org/music/Revolution_Void/ | *** Warning: NSFW due to some harsh language, a few sexual references, and potential drunkenness of the hosts and/or guests. Listener discretion advised. | © 2015-2025, JonSquared Media
2025-03-091h 19Innocuous Basterds#291 - NCIB 2024 Recap2025-02-23 (#291) “NCIB 2024 Recap” (Episode 291) The ‘Sterds™ tease the 2025 NCIB Tourney by recapping last year’s madness | Creative Commons Music: "Habitual Ritual" by Revolution Void freemusicarchive.org/music/Revolution_Void/ | *** Warning: NSFW due to some harsh language, a few sexual references, and potential drunkenness of the hosts and/or guests. Listener discretion advised. | © 2015-2025, JonSquared Media
2025-02-2445 minNo Crying In BaseballLucky, or Sexy?Better late than never as we squeeze this episode in between the Derby and the ASG. Will, Andres, and Zach do Patti proud with defense that may be lucky but is definitely sexy. Jarren Duran has the f*ck ‘em shirt (and soon Pottymouth will too) but Vaughn has the f*ck ‘em attitude. Kiké is on the bump trash talking Kyle from Waltham, while Kevin and Whit are on the outs. Wander Franco solidifies his spot on the NCiB no-fly list and there’s no coming back. Do you want to own a baseball team? Keep your eye on the b...
2024-07-1757 minNo Crying In BaseballTip Your ServersWe share important life lessons from the wide world of baseball, including, keep your popcorn close, watch the rebound, and tipping the bullpen cart driver is good karma. Patti risks killing streaks by bringing up CLE wins and Volpe hits. Former NCiB boyfriends give Pottymouth a chance to talk about her favorite play, stealing home. LaMonte Wade, Jr takes the upcoming Rickwood Field game honoring the Negro Leagues as a chance to talk representation right now. Are the Birmingham Southern Panthers the new America’s team? They will be competing in the College World Series representing a school that wi...
2024-05-2853 minInnocuous Basterds#270 - Get Ready for NCIB 20242024-02-25 (#270) “Get Ready for NCIB 2024” The ‘Sterds™ reviewed the picks from last year’s Celebrity Death Tourney to tee up this year’s competition | Creative Commons Music: "Habitual Ritual" by Revolution Void freemusicarchive.org/music/Revolution_Void/ | *** Warning: NSFW due to some harsh language, a few sexual references, and potential drunkenness of the hosts and/or guests. Listener discretion advised. | © 2015-2024, JonSquared Media
2024-02-251h 00No Crying In BaseballAre you a M*A*S*H watcher or a MASH doer?Not sure if it is our pride or our ages talking but we’ve reached the point where active players we’ve profiled on the show are now Hall of Famers. Congrats to Joe Mauer and Adrian Beltre, and also to Todd Helton even if he was before our (NCiB) time. The hot stove takes Philly favorite Rhys Hoskins to MIL, and brings Cookie Carrasco home to CLE. Joc Pederson tries out yet another NL West team, and the Nats bring Joey Gallo to a ballpark near us. Congrats on the retirement, Collin McHugh, and please spend some of it r...
2024-01-301h 09No Crying In BaseballSeason of Giving, Spoils of War, You DecideThis Thanksgiving weekend Patti and the Pottymouth cross-trained with hockey, Led Zeppelin, assembling IKEA furniture, beer farms, and unsuccessful mousing. MLB players, however, leaned into the giving with Andrew Vaughn working with Digs for DIgnity to assist a family emerging from homelessness, Hunter Greene outfitting hundreds of kids with brand new cleats, and Pablo López supporting pet rescue through pickleball. Playoff teams voted on how to divide their percentage of the postseason gate, sharing “life-changing money” with support staff who helped them get there. Hall of Fame balloting was announced and former NCiB boyfriends are starting to make the l...
2023-11-2856 minNo Crying In BaseballFast Guys Who Don't QuitDon’t you wish you had a week like Ronald Acuña Jr.? Most of it, anyway – probably not the part that requires the update of NCiB Stadium Rules.. Miggy passes more all-time milestones and Triston chips away at the Rookie marks. TJ Friedl has no walk-up song for a reason that makes us like him even more. New guys are coming up all over the place this time of year. BOS’s Wilyer Abreu debuts at Minute Maid, where he thought he’d be an Astro. NYY’s Jasson Dominguez debuts with a homer off of Verlander. Our Police Blot...
2023-09-0558 minNo Crying In BaseballChristopher, Spencer, Bobby, and JulioChristopher Morel, Spencer Torkelson, and Patti, are all too sexy for their shirts. Even if he doesn’t want them, Max keeps racking up the personal accomplishments. Kyle continues to own Nats Park, Bobby and Julio are two of a kind, Luis is all about the slam, and the 1983 WS MVP is all about Adley. Our Police Blotter is all Wander, who has been firmly placed on the NCiB’s no-fly list, while we wait for the various investigations to decide on the rest of his future. Gunnar got to choose between the cycle and his first four extr...
2023-08-2248 minNo Crying In BaseballBreaking the Rules of Fight ClubHow can we *not* talk about Fight Club when it features dueling BFs? Patti’s former CLE BF Jose Ramirez clocks Patti’s former CWS BF and Down Goes Anderson. Mayhem clears the way for unexpected debut circumstances and a wild time to hear the SpongeBob theme. Patti and Pottymouth’s excellent adventure takes us to Cooperstown where we spend a Sunday at the Church of Baseball. Loved the Hall of Fame, but surprising no one, we have notes. Luis Urias heads to the Red Sox, which seems like a good fit, freeing up #2 on the Brewers for Brice Turang...
2023-08-0856 minNo Crying In BaseballParty Like It's 1968We kick off Season 7 (!) with a World Baseball Classic wrap-up, an Opening Day kick off, and an intro to our flocks of pitchers. The WBC left many happy results in its wake. Team Australia’s Mitch Neunborn was signed by the Phils, Nicaraguan closer Duque Hebbert signed on site by the Tigers, and Team Israel built new ballfields. There were so many more eyeballs on the games, fans in the seats, and merch in the shopping carts than ever before. Closing out our Fantasy Boyfriend Baseball League recruitment, Pottymouth claims the Blue Jays as her pitching flock, with a fo...
2023-03-2849 minInnocuous Basterds#247 - NCIB 2023: Part Three“NCIB 2023: Part Three” The ‘Sterds™ take you through the nail-biting final rounds of the Celebrity Death Tourney and ultimately crowns the winner | Creative Commons Music: "Habitual Ritual" by Revolution Void freemusicarchive.org/music/Revolution_Void/ | *** Warning: NSFW due to some harsh language, a few sexual references, and potential drunkenness of the hosts and/or guests. Listener discretion advised. | © 2023, JonSquared Media
2023-03-191h 13Innocuous Basterds#246 - NCIB 2023: Part Two“NCIB 2023: Part Two” The ‘Sterds™ narrow the Celebrity Death Tourney hopefuls down to 32 contenders who subsequently battled it out to form our Sweet Sixteen | Creative Commons Music: "Habitual Ritual" by Revolution Void freemusicarchive.org/music/Revolution_Void/ | *** Warning: NSFW due to some harsh language, a few sexual references, and potential drunkenness of the hosts and/or guests. Listener discretion advised. | © 2023, JonSquared Media
2023-03-051h 25Innocuous Basterds#245 - NCIB 2023: Part One“NCIB 2023: Part One” The ‘Sterds™ dove once again into the infamous Celebrity Death Tourney, as they’d previously threatened | Creative Commons Music: "Habitual Ritual" by Revolution Void freemusicarchive.org/music/Revolution_Void/ | *** Warning: NSFW due to some harsh language, a few sexual references, and potential drunkenness of the hosts and/or guests. Listener discretion advised. | © 2023, JonSquared Media
2023-02-261h 07No Crying In BaseballJane Austen / MLB Fan Fiction CrossoverAre we Team Italy now? Our Royals picks point that way. Pottymouth orders the Italian Breakfast (and former flying monkey) Vinnie Pasquantino and Patti selects Nicky Lopez, who is boots on the ground with his community involvement. Our Pirates guys include a Cleveland favorite, Carlos Santana, and a rookie record-breaker in Oneil Cruz. Dansby Swanson to the Cubs is the last of the top tier shortstop free agents deals this go round, and it gives us a chance to talk about Mallory some more. Pottymouth is taking recent Red Sox decisions as a personal affront, and she may be r...
2022-12-201h 03No Crying In BaseballSome of Our Best Friends are Old GuysIn advance of the Winter Meetings, starting pitcher signings are the big news but NCiB boyfriends are also on the move, including a full boyfriend trade between the Brewers and Mariners. Miguel Cabrera announces his upcoming retirement, reminding us that in addition to spectacular batting stats, he’ll leave a legacy of giving back to his communities. The Winter Meetings bring us a new draft lottery, the Rule 5 Draft, and the Take the Field program focusing on women working in baseball. Ideally, they will also shake loose the Free Agent shortstop market and a home for Aaron Judge. The pl...
2022-12-0639 minNo Crying In BaseballWhatever, We Were Half RightWe’re happy for Dusty, Pottymouth is happy for JV, Patti is resigned to scrappy not prevailing in the end. Birthday girl Pottymouth finds a way to make the World Series about the Red Sox and it just feels right. It also leads to more quality analysis of “combined no-hitter” vs. “no-hitter,” and big credit to the catcher, in this case Christian Vazquez. Jeremy Peña is the MVP and the “it” boy of the moment but we just need to note that NCiB claimed him first. No surprise that Patti names sexy defensive plays from Orioles Legend Trey Mancini and pos...
2022-11-0841 minNo Crying In BaseballYouthful Exuberance and School NightsWe make our World Series calls official. Pottymouth asserts Astros in five, with all the feels for the old guys (Dusty and Justin), and the promise of the youngsters (Mauricio Dubón and Jeremy Peña). Patti leans into the joyful and the scrappy of what FoxSports calls the “Greatest College Baseball Team of All Time,” Phillies in 6. Fun fact about our skill in boyfriend selection, all runs in Game 1 were driven in by NCiB BFs. Hey, don't go looking for conspiracy theories regarding Martín Maldonado using illegal bats gifted by Albert Pujols. Safety is job one. Tony Clark...
2022-11-0148 minNo Crying In BaseballEnforce it, But WinkThe minor league union is official, the 21st Roberto Clemente Day is honored in style, and postseason prep has begun. We drink theme beer, learn all infields are not equal and get lost in Vinnie Pasquantino’s syllables. Bobby’s qHar gets some notice by people who are not us and Ke’Bryan learns about appropriate snack timing. Joey Meneses and his inside the park HR contribute to the return of Patti’s Happy Place. Adam Jones teaches us how to negotiate a contract (a plane ticket and beer!), as the WBC qualifiers are in full swing. A tip of the N...
2022-09-2054 minNo Crying In BaseballEat the Rich, Drink TequilaWomen in Baseball Week and National Tequila Day coincide and it looks just like the NCiB Venn diagram. Pottymouth gives us the historical perspective of the record-setting game between the Blue Jays and that other team and manages to celebrate our boyfriend’s fine showing. Except for the one, which may get re-dumped. Soto Watch includes the Nats steep asking price, and air travel trash talk. We are seriously bad at pre-season predictions and prove it at this mid-season check-in. A tearful Pottymouth recounts the Hall of Fame induction of Big Papi, and those other honorees that don’t make...
2022-07-261h 04No Crying In BaseballThe Wrong Kind of Beer ParadeIn this snack-sized episode, Patti and Pottymouth hit the road to see some High-A baseball and record on location at Wilmington Brew Works. Yankees fans pelt Guardians outfielders with debris and it may be our fault for not including “Just don’t throw shit on the field” in our ballpark rules. Myles Straw climbing the outfield wall to defend Steven Kwan inks him onto Patti’s BF list for next year, and former bf Josh Naylor explains how things should have gone in absolutely NCiB terms. Hey Miggy, you’re so fine! We can’t not salute historic hit #3000. Kelsie Whitmo...
2022-04-2632 minNo Crying In BaseballRum is the Death of UsAlyssa Nakken makes history again while just doing her job adjacent to an “unfortunate racist incident” as we remind you that there’s a reason unwritten rules aren’t written. Alec Bohm makes 1) Patti’s Phillies prediction come true early and 2) Pottymouth feel right at home. Ke’Bryan Hayes rakes in the beer money while Heliot Ramos settles for a cup of coffee. Joe Maddon sends Corey Seager on a surprising walk. Patti takes Albert Pujols’ announcement of his decision to divorce his wife days after her brain tumor surgery very personally and Pottymouth sends his shirt...
2022-04-1953 minNo Crying In BaseballMarch is Mad and RockingNCiB boyfriends of the past are making splashy news in trades and free agency. We dwell on Freddie and the Welcome Matts, Eugenio’s qHar, and Miami’s Soler power, among other big bats and homecomings. We profile our fantasy pitching squads – Pottymouth goes west coast with Giants pitching, and Patti is still grooving on Hammers pitching since the World Series. COVID protocols are back in conversation, along with juggling NYC vaccine mandates and Canada’s public health protections. How ‘bout those Red Sox getting stragglers vaxxed? Our Police Blotter is on repeat with extensions o...
2022-03-2247 minNo Crying In BaseballCan We Also Ban Rob Manfred?There should be a new NCiB drinking game for the number of times we say “league-imposed lock-out” in this episode. This week’s CBA negotiation update requires Patti to add yet another layer of complication to Rule 5 Draft, talk about ghost wins (they are a thing!), note that the player’s union is taking steps to protect stadium workers but as yet the League is all talk, and remind dear listeners that spring training and the regular season could have started on time, while negotiations are in progress, except for the, say it with us, “league-imposed lock-out.”Pottymout...
2022-03-081h 00No Crying In BaseballBeer with Grammy PatUpon further review, Adalberto Mondesi gets the Royals boyfriend nod from Pottymouth and Patti makes another early, bold choice for ROY with Bobby Witt, Jr. For the Marlins, Pottymouth hopes for A+ with Avisaíl Garcia, and your hosts want to have a beer with the maternal grandmother of Patti’s pick, Jazz Chisolm. As the lockout continues, there’s more time to explore the economics of it all, discuss the effect on injured players, and fill that last remaining manager gig with the A’s promotion of Mark Kotsay.Who could predict that the Sta...
2021-12-281h 05No Crying In BaseballSmokey Things and Santa HatsNCiB is 100% Boosted! A photo of Pottymouth’s Twins BF pick, Mitch Garver, drinking a beer while wearing his baby in a sling, has us waxing nostalgic and digging for similar photos from our own collections, while Brent Rooker’s Twitter feed is like a visit to the pop culture aisle in Patti’s brain. Showing her excellent judgment, Pottymouth sticks with Juan Soto as her forever BF when we get to the Nationals, while Patti goes hard against type with end of season breakout star Lane Thomas, son of a professional drag racer.Yasiel...
2021-12-211h 05No Crying In BaseballOur Boyfriends are Back, and Locked OutPatti and the Pottymouth kick off a new round of baseball boyfriends with their picks for the Orioles and Diamondbacks. Pottymouth profiles comeback player of the year Trey Mancini, and homegrown utility player Josh Rojas. Patti finally celebrates Adley Rutschman Day and finds a way to tie it to labor negotiations. She also selects almost-Olympian Seth Beer, because we love our Beer here at NCiB.Advocates for Minor Leaguers announces a steering committee to create a collective voice, and first order of business is support of MLBPA in the lockout. MLB scrubs players’ NIL from their si...
2021-12-071h 07No Crying In BaseballSeize the Moment to Chop the ChopPatti and the Pottymouth break down the evils of the World Series teams and the pros come down to I love Dusty vs. I love those guys. Yup, Pottymouth is in for the Trashtros and Patti throws down for the Hammers. In our efforts to show one team’s terrible is not quite as bad as the other team’s terrible, Pottymouth points out the small number of cheaters still left on the Houston team, and Patti suggests a 437 point plan to eliminate The Chop, including crosstraining with FIFA.Both LCS MVPs are NCiB boyf...
2021-10-2645 minNo Crying In BaseballPearls are Always AppropriateWe’ve got Postseason Boyfriends, current and former, and Postseason Grooming featuring Joctober pearls and pitcher qHAR. There’s a conversation about Postseason Moral Alignment -- who do you root for when you know too much? We praise Kiké’s bat and Logan’s arm and a double play for the ages. The Hank Aaron Award finalists are 93% NCiB Boyfriends. The Police Blotter updates the activities of usual suspects.NCiB is thrilled for the selection of Paloma Benach of DC Girls Baseball to the USWNT Development Program. Learn more about #GirlsCamp21 and listen to this inte...
2021-10-1237 minNo Crying In BaseballBaseball, Blink, and Butterbeans: Riley Adams Talks with NCiBWe can't think of a better way to transition to the postseason than with a reminder of what we love most about baseball -- the players. Washington Nationals catcher Riley Adams joins us to share his stories from getting his first glove to getting his call up. We talk about what makes a great walk-up song (Riley's use of Blink-182's "All the Small Things" made him an instant favorite with Nats fans). Riley encourages kids to keep sports fun by playing a lot of them, and gets serious about minor league pay. His MLB page still doesn't show...
2021-10-051h 17No Crying In Baseball#Fairball and Boyfriend CredThe NCiB Boyfriends are finishing strong in the record books, with Ryan passing Cal, BobbyD passing Ted,, and Salvy passing Johnny. Eric Hosmer is the answer to both of the Max Scherzer trivia questions from this week, Franmil hits #30 by request, and Christian Yelich fills the stands. Our BFs dominate the Roberto Clemente award nominations. Tony LaRussa makes a triumphant return to the police blotter but is quickly overshadowed by KBO pitcher Mike Montgomery’s suspension for throwing a rosin bag at an umpire.Advocates for Minor Leaguers make their point about poverty wages for...
2021-09-2147 minNo Crying In BaseballNot Afraid To FailIn NCiB Boyfriend news, Salvador Perez is having a career year, Franmil Reyes proves his boyfriend cred, and Ian Happ flashes some potential. Veteran Gregory Polanco is released by the Pirates to make room for Pottymouth’s bf Cole Tucker, and Will Smith credits his batting tear on no fear of failing. We take “not afraid to fail” to heart and present an edit-free episode. The COVID report is back with a vengeance. A positive test for Zach Eflin distracts the Phillies from his knee trouble, and takes out two more vaxxed teammates leading to Bryc...
2021-09-0140 minNo Crying In BaseballPickled Biscuits, No RocksThe Cleveland Baseball Team officially becomes the Guardians, which requires footnotes (but we’ve got’em). It’s always Women in Baseball Week for NCiB, but this week it is official for the rest of the world. We re-cap the wildly successful Baseball for All Nationals and preview some steps to making college baseball more possible for women. We rant a little about the criticisms of the groundbreaking all-woman broadcast team that called an Os/Rays game last week, and give Patti’s former BF Anthony Santander some props for knowing what’s up. Pottymouth presents the obligatory Kiké Hernandez A...
2021-07-2751 minNo Crying In BaseballPitching Problems? Get Naked.NCIB officially endorses Sonny Gray’s solution to a rough pitching outing. Take a moment to get naked. If only that worked for all the pitchers from our Padres and Cleveland flocks currently on the IL and messing with our fantasy teams. Actually the solution to everything is ¡Más Kiké! Or vaccines. Getting vaxxed would have solved a lot of issues for the Phillies -- Patti is not happy with current Phils bf Alec Bohm. We make our Home Run Derby picks knowing full well all our listeners already know the outcome, but we had a good time doing i...
2021-07-1355 minNo Crying In BaseballIn the Name of Civil Disobedience, Drop Your PantsThe first week of enforcement of the sticky stuff rule resulted in dropping of pants and threats to do so, the ejection of Joe Girardi for calling out Max Scherzer after demanding a substance check mid-inning, and Hector Santiago winning the dubious honor of first pitcher suspended under the new world order. Pottymouth is still grooving on her visit to Fenway. It’s a toss-up if the best part was the salute to Dustin Pedroia or the Red Sox sweeping the Yankees (again). Patti notes that qHAR (quality Hair Above Replacement) directly factors into how excited we are about mul...
2021-06-2939 minNo Crying In BaseballNaked Guy AppreciationThe Nats Park streaker, bringing joy to millions, deserves a Skittles endorsement, but is banned from ballparks for life, while Mickey Calloway is out a year and a half for sexually harassing at least five women. Guess where we come down on this? Marcell Ozuna goes from former NCiB boyfriend to the “Never gonna be a boyfriend” list quickly and definitively. We’d like Loretta’s Lounge back, please (you can help!), but we’re happy to see the New Era local clip-art caps go. That’s not what food looks like.Pottymouth is in a boyfriend bind (Oh, Fr...
2021-06-0143 minNo Crying In BaseballPatti Gets an Omar Vizquel Do-OverPitchers and catchers reported last week so that means we’re back with the COVID numbers, the Blue Jays staying south of their border, and baby steps to fans in the stands. NCiB poster boy Fernando Tatis, Jr. is a Padre for life, and forces us to do complicated math. Pottymouth generously tries to cut Brett Gardner some slack, but Patti will have none of it. Thanks to Johnny Damon and Ryan Ellis, we’ve instituted a Police Blotter segment. Zach Britton stands up for women, and sees no reason to cut domestic abuser Domingo German any slack.
2021-02-231h 00No Crying In Baseball“At Least They Have the Browns”Cleveland fans mourn the loss of Francisco Lindor and Cookie Carrasco, as the Mets made the hottest of hot stove moves last week. The Nationals, and Patti, come to terms with Kyle Schwarber, the target of one of Patti’s most vehement sports grudges. RIP Tommy Lasorda, he of the long and colorful Dodger history and the despicable denying of his son’s life and death. Mookie Betts and Brianna Hammonds finally make it official after 15 years and one child.Our boyfriend segment brings random themes of injuries, dreadlocks, bobbleheads, and grand slams. Pottymouth, in h...
2021-01-1255 minNo Crying In BaseballThe Incredible Women of the All-American Girls Professional Baseball LeaguePatti and the Pottymouth welcome back illustrator, designer, writer, and baseball fan Anika Orrock, to talk about her book, “The Incredible Women of the All-American Girls Professional Baseball League.” Anika shares stories of conversations with these Incredible Women, and fitting together her illustrations, comic strips, narrative, and players’ quotes into a cohesive whole, à la Criminal Minds. We dig a little deeper into stories that were new to us such as this was a well-paying job that helped players support their families and go on to college, and that the AAGPBL started out as a softball league, changing a little every s...
2020-12-0150 minNo Crying In BaseballI’ll Take Lions for 1000, AlexWhat a week! A couple of important wins, including NCiB going 2-0 in bets on the UniLions in the Taiwan Series. Pottymouth gives our pal, CPBL Social Media Guy Daniel Shih, dating advice and recaps the championship series. That other important win gives Patti a chance to steal a joke deftly combining the Electoral College and baseball.No fewer than 39 professional sports venues became polling places this year to provide safe places for large numbers of people to vote. President-Elect Biden is invited to throw out the first pitch for the Nats, although what...
2020-11-1054 minNo Crying In BaseballNothing Better Than Games SevenFriend of the show, Holly Simonette, is the only human we know personally who has attended an MLB game in person this season. She joins us to tell us about her (death-defying) visit to Globe Life Field, including confrontations with both that f’n chop, and possibly rattlesnake-based concessions.Pottymouth uses her teacher’s voice in our annual vocabulary lesson about “Games Seven,” which we enjoy saying and really enjoy watching. The Rays are suddenly America’s Team and getting framed as Good triumphing over Evil. Patti’s BF Brandon Lowe may finally be getting out...
2020-10-201h 03No Crying In BaseballHow was Hunter Pence never an NCiB Boyfriend?Hard to believe, but we got through the whole dang season. Patti and the Pottymouth give you their good, bad, and ugly of how it went, should it have gone? And what about all those new rules? It felt like a lot more guys were injured, but also a lot more got their call ups. Hunter Pence retires and we wish him well. This crazy Wildcard Week is just beginning so we try to lay it all out for you. We even make a few predictions with absolutely no conviction whatsoever.MLB gives staff e...
2020-09-2952 minNo Crying In BaseballWaino and Yadi are the most pure thing in baseballPatti and the Pottymouth talk all things Cardinals with guest Tara Wellman, co-host of the Chirps and Gateway to Baseball Heaven podcasts. Tara takes us through the aftermath of the COVID-19 shutdown, the responsibility of national media to get the facts straight, baseball towns, and “The Cardinal Way.”We look at the lightning rod that is Yadier Molina, and the resurgence of Cy Young-ish Adam Wainwright. Tara is happily on the I told you so end of knowing great things would come from Kolten Wong. Tara walks Pottymouth through the pitching squad past and pres...
2020-09-1146 minNo Crying In BaseballCal, Cardinals, and ComebacksPatti and the Pottymouth talk all things Cardinals with guest Tara Wellman, co-host of the Chirps and Gateway to Baseball Heaven podcasts. Tara takes us through the aftermath of the COVID-19 shutdown, the responsibility of national media to get the facts straight, baseball towns, and “The Cardinal Way.”We celebrate the 25th anniversary of Ironman Cal Ripken Jr.’s historic 2131st game and share some tidbits you maybe didn’t get the first time around. Slam Diego won the trade deadline with Mike Clevenger and a slew of other critical additions, and we share those tr...
2020-09-0851 minNo Crying In BaseballJason Heyward is *The* Baseball Boyfriend, and more Cubs talkWhat can two die-hard Cubs fans, a third generation Red Sox fan, and a Cleveland girl agree on? Jason Heyward. In our full conversation with Cuppa Cubbie Blue co-hosts Andi Cruz Vanecek and Sara Sanchez, we all stand with J-Hey, even when his team let him, and us, down. Sara and Andi walk us through what the Cub’s bad decision-making in the face of an historic moment for racial justice in professional sports looked and felt like close up. And share their strategies for handling baseball heartbreak. On to happier topics, we talk growing up baseball, baseball boyfriends, incl...
2020-09-0439 minNo Crying In BaseballThis is Bigger Than BaseballCuppa Cubbie Blue co-hosts Sara Sanchez and Andi Cruz Vanacek join Patti and the Pottymouth to talk all things Cubs, with a focus on this week’s racial justice actions and inactions, and strategies for moving forward when the team you love the most disappoints you in non-baseball ways. In unity with those protesting the police shooting of Jacob Blake, Dominic Smith and Jack Flaherty make emotional calls to action, the Dodgers stand with Mookie Betts, and Jason Heyward and Dexter Fowler sit alone. The Player’s Alliance donates salaries to honor Jackie Robinson Day, and the Mets add...
2020-09-011h 01No Crying In BaseballWelcome to Slam DiegoOur pals, Angela and Liddy, better known as “Hell's Belles,” join us to celebrate the joy that is the San Diego Padres -- grand slam records, Air Tatis, dugout dancers and more, a conversation quite possibly fueled by adult beverages. But not before we show some love to Patti’s Giant’s BF Joey Bart, who at last got the call up, and almost completed a Rookie Cycle in his first game (h/t to friend of the show Deborah). We’ve got a little Yaz, a little Evan, and a pasta party with Tim Anderson. There may be a small rant...
2020-08-2558 minNo Crying In BaseballCan I talk about some more jerks?Plesac, Clevenger, Cintrón, we’ve got ‘em all going on. Turns out breaking your team’s code of conduct, disparaging someone’s mother, defending said mother, and pouting all have consequences. The Cardinals are back after 19 days off, just in time for the Reds to have an active player test positive putting a few games on ice. We will enjoy any opportunity to set Trevor Bauer off on a righteous rant, however.Oh, hey, the Orioles are still above .500 and Austin Hays hit the league’s very first two-run lead-off homer. Let those words sink in...
2020-08-1847 min
Real A......... RelentlessPR Week implications of Sit and Stand test on MortalityStudy: Test of Sitting and Standing predicts mortality livescience.com/25511-sitting-standing-test mortality.html Study 2: older adults with weaker muscle strength stand up from a sitting position. ncib.nlm.nih.gov/pac/articles/pmc5948784/
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2020-07-2712 minNo Crying In BaseballHoly Cow! Women in Baseball Week Interview with Kat WilliamsWe celebrate the 4th annual Women in Baseball Week by talking to Dr. Kat Williams about her new book, Isabel “Lefty” Alvarez: The Improbable Life of a Cuban-American Baseball Star. Kat is a professor of American history at Marshall University, board president of the International Women’s Baseball Center, and author of The All-American Girls after the AAGPBL: How Playing Pro Ball Shaped Their Lives. We examine what it means to view a life through the lens of sports identity. Through Kat’s telling of Lefty’s story, we learn the importance of baseball to Cuban hi...
2020-07-2249 minNo Crying In BaseballWhat Do We Do With the COVIDiots?Here comes MLB, unless it doesn’t. We catch you up on what the shortened season schedule may look like, how the rosters will work (until they don’t), the new game rules, and the protocols that work until players leave the facility and are left to their own best judgements. Or in the case of Texas, the shaky judgement of the Rangers front office and the Governor.Pottymouth gets international attention for baseball boyfriends during breakfast baseball with the CPBL. The Lions score 21 runs for our pal Daniel Shih’s 21st birthday. Intrigue and disruption in the ra...
2020-06-3055 minNo Crying In BaseballBack Around to March, Pirate Booty, Heroes, and Addison Frickin’ RussellAfter all that back and forth, looks like the MLB plan agreed upon in March is moving forward. The MLBPA held their ground, and now it’s a matter of health protocols. The COVID-19 outbreak affecting at least 40 players and staff has shut down facilities in Arizona and Florida, and raised many more questions. Some independent leagues plan to start up with much less fuss, so you may get some local baseball after all.Addison Frickin’ Russell gets picked up by the KBO Heroes and we are given another opportunity to point out the proble...
2020-06-2343 minNo Crying In BaseballThe Cat Has MeaningThe world is still on fire and we acknowledge that by discussing how the world of sports is responding. Joey Votto shares a journey, Drew Brees gets a very public education and stands by it, Roger Goodell says some of the right things, albeit a few years too late, and there’s a campaign to remove Marge Schott’s name from the facilities at the University of Cincinnati. Adam Jones demonstrates in Japan. Lorenzo Cain, Josh Bell, and others talk police accountability with the president of the Negro Leagues Museum. Charlotte Knights AAA and the Carolina Panthers, among others, cut t...
2020-06-0944 minNo Crying In BaseballEverything is a Sh**show Right NowThe world is burning and we intend to “stick to sports” the way we always do, in the context of social justice. Andrew McCutcheon (“I don’t want pity. I want justice.”), Dexter Fowler, Marcus Stroman, Lucas Giolito, NCiB Patron Saint Sean Doolittle and other players make their voices heard. We talk with Bobby Coon of the “Pulling Tarp” podcast about the present and the future of the Minor Leagues: players being cut loose, players being paid or not depending on the team and access to David Price, contraction, and a better way to run the whole thing if Bobby were in c...
2020-06-0343 minNo Crying In BaseballBrian Dozier is Why We Can’t Have Nice ThingsDon’t get us wrong, we here at NCiB love us some Brian Dozier, and the community building he is doing in his neighborhood would be drink-worthy adorable if it wasn’t in the middle of a frickin’ pandemic. But it is, and it’s a great example of why a shortened MLB season outside of a BioBubble is way too risky. Plans are moving forward, with the players’ union responding to the health and safety protocol proposal, Governors weighing in on letting baseball happen under strict guidelines (and sneaking in a dig at the DH), and MLB scheduled to present...
2020-05-2650 minNo Crying In BaseballJose Canseco is our MuseYou should watch the finals of the First Annual Bump Bailey Wax Pack Hero Tournament of Awesome. No reason, other than Patti, Pottymouth, Jose Canseco, and a Golden Pickle.67 pages of MLB’s proposed health protocols later, we are sure that spitting and showers are discouraged, but still don’t know what will happen if multiple players test positive for COVID-19. We think it is good news that the testing plan is designed to result in a surplus of tests to be provided to health care workers in MLB cities, and processed for free. We ap...
2020-05-1939 minNo Crying In BaseballMother’s Day, Mimosas, and MonsoonsPatti and the Pottymouth get a little weepy over Mother’s Day. Pottymouth over the CPBL mascot-themed card drawn by her artist daughter, and Patti for clean gutters, many mimosas, and Adley Rutschman.We start with laying out the rumored plan for bringing back MLB, and poke it full of holes like a biobubble over a spring training facility. We wave some flags about the presumed demise of the minor leagues, and go just the way you would think about owners wanting to cut player salaries even more.Moving on the our cur...
2020-05-1248 minNo Crying In BaseballKBO and IPAsFueled by Isolation Pale Ale brewed by Mr. Pottymouth, your hosts learn about Korean baseball from Jeeho Yoo, KBO reporter for Yonhap News Agency in Seoul. Jeeho shares his take on the culture of baseball in South Korea, the plan for keeping players, media, and staff safe and healthy, and just a few digs on the Orioles. Much as we like the sound of watching KBO, we are not giving up our new dedication to #breakfastbaseball with the CPBL. It turns out Patti and the Pottymouth are good at this Dream Bracket thing, accurately predicting that the Reds and...
2020-05-051h 00No Crying In BaseballA Suitcase Full of Monkey SwagOr Lion swag, if you’re Pottymouth. NCiB talks Taiwanese baseball with Daniel Shih, sports director at @tstvsports and host of “Rants With Danny Shih.” The CPBL is the only live baseball happening worldwide, and as such is simultaneously playing to empty ballparks and thousands of international Twitter followers. We talk teams (Patti and Danny back the Rakuten Monkeys, and Pottymouth is a Uni Lion for Life), the culture and history of baseball in Taiwan, and how to get Monkey and Lion merch to NCiB hosts. You can reach Danny on twitter @daniel_shih88The Co...
2020-04-2855 minNo Crying In BaseballMonkeys and Wyverns and Dinos. Oh, My.10,000 employees of Major League Baseball, from players and front office staff to ushers and your friends that sell you your ballpark beer, have volunteered to participate in a Coronavirus Antibodies study that may help shape public policy. The study is not designed to bring baseball back any faster, but it will paint a picture of the spread of the virus across locations, economic status, race, and medical histories. Anthony Fauci, America’s favorite doctor, came out as pro-BioBubble in an interview last week. But it was on SnapChat so we’re not sure we believe it. The truncated MLB draft...
2020-04-2146 minNo Crying In BaseballScorekeeping with Blake: The ReckoningIn the final installment of our score keeping trilogy, Blake grades Patti and Pottymouth’s homework (totally on a curve), and answers the hard questions -- many of which could be solved by larger squares in which to note plays. If you haven’t done your homework yet, get your scorecard and score the September 3, 2019 Nats vs Mets game. See if you have the same questions!In the post-apocalyptic world, baseball is played in an Arizona-based BioBubble, and basketball in Vegas. What could possibly go wrong? Many, many things. Ask the Nippon Professional Baseball Leag...
2020-04-1454 minNo Crying In BaseballThat Juan Soto Run-down, ThoughPencils and scorecards are ready for Part 2 of “Scorekeeping with Blake.” Our brave teacher leads us through basic scoring notations and setting up our scorecards, and suddenly we are re-living the Nats/Brewers Wildcard game. It takes so much longer to score that Juan Soto run-down in the 8th than it does to watch it happen. Blake assigns us homework of scoring the September 3rd Nats vs. Mets game, to be graded on the next episode.After a brief Sports Movie Review conversation in which Pottymouth name-checks Psycho, and Patti defends quiz shows as a sp...
2020-04-0759 minNo Crying In BaseballThere’s Beer and People are NicePatti and the Pottymouth are excited to start a new segment today: Scorekeeping with Blake. Dedicated scorekeeper Blake has been with us in Section 408 of Nats Park for two years, alerting us to immaculate innings, impending no-nos, and catching us up on what we missed on that last beer run. In this episode, Blake gives us some history on the art of keeping book, some context for why fans do it, and why the official scorekeeper wields a lot of power. Next week we will have a lesson on the mechanics of scorekeeping, but in spite of Patt’s ass...
2020-03-3144 minNo Crying In BaseballThe One Where Patti #stayedthef*ckhomeEven a Beermobile delivery is not enough to make up for Patti and Pottymouth not being in the same room, but nevertheless, we persisted. We celebrated the new addition to the Pottymouth family, Eris Israel Filpo. Through Adopt a Minor Leaguer, the Pottymouths have pledged to help out Eris, a player in the Rangers organization, currently at home in the Dominican Republic. Did you hear that there is baseball medical news that is not pandemic related? Chris Sale to have Tommy John surgery and Aaron Judge just now told us about that pesky collapsed lung.
2020-03-2430 minNo Crying In BaseballAn Abundance of CautionPatti and the Pottymouth and their socially-distanced Smart Baseball Brains bring you the baseball state of the pandemic. The eight week delay, minimum, to the start of the season has clear implications for fans, but what does it mean for paychecks for major and minor league players, umpires, and hourly facilities workers? How does it affect service time and dates for incentives and bonuses? The NBA and NHL are modelling good league-level behavior and it is time for Baseball to step up too. Players are picking up some slack, with Redemption Tour Astros donating money and food kits, Trevor...
2020-03-1745 minNo Crying In BaseballWhere the F*ck is Toro?Stop touching your face. It would be irresponsible not to discuss the intersection of the coronavirus and baseball, so we do. Games have not yet been affected, but some teams are requiring players at Spring Training to pre-sign baseballs and cards under controlled conditions in the clubhouse, to be distributed to fans, rather than sharing pens and passing objects back and forth. Clean club houses and chartered planes will protect young, healthy players, but good luck finding 6’ of space between fans on Opening Day. As a public service we share CDC information about how facial hair affects one’s abili...
2020-03-1047 minNo Crying In BaseballMinor League Matchmaking, Now With Bonus ChihuahuasIn one month, Michael Rivers matched up dozens of financially-struggling minor league ballplayers with individuals willing and able to commit to a seasons’ worth of care packages and gift cards, and he’s still going strong. In this episode, we talk with Michael about how “Adopt a MiLB Player” began and how fans of the game can help out until MLB fixes its labor policies. Our boyfriends this week include a couple of Baby Bombers, Gleybor Torres and Miguel Andújar of the Yankees. After a you-knew-it-was-coming Tomahawk Chop rant, Pottymouth tells you about Atlanta SS Dansby Swanson, why it is per...
2020-03-0352 minNo Crying In BaseballEric Thames ArmsTangents this week include Eric Thames’ arms, O. Henry, and Ironman’s math skills, which it turns out are better than Patti’s. Spring Training games have started yet there is still Astros scandal detritus to clean up, so much so that Rob Manfred doesn’t have time to tell Atlanta, “Stop using the Tomahawk Chop.” Twins boyfriends include Cheech and Chong cosplayers/contact hitters Luis Arraez and Willians “La Tortuga” Astudillo. Closer to home, Pottymouth hangs on to future MVP Juan Soto as her carryover boyfriend from last season. Although distracted by Eric Thames’ arms, Patti pins her Nats boyfriend hop...
2020-02-2550 minNo Crying In BaseballPremeditated RetaliationSorry not sorry = words of House MLB, followed by “Let’s just move on.” Did the Red Sox really do their due diligence around Alex Verdugo? Police reports indicate otherwise. But he just wants to move on. Astros owner Jim Crane apologized by stating he shouldn’t be held accountable. Just wants to move on. Former Astros apologize much better than current Astros, who can’t seem to stop talking, but just want to move on. Dusty Baker makes “premeditated retaliation” a thing.Thank the baseball gods for boyfriends to cheer us out of our funk. Pott...
2020-02-181h 02No Crying In BaseballDefense Against the Dark ArtsNew information on the Astros cheating scandal implicates interns, Excel, and Harry Potter. Were the right people punished? Still not over, friends, still not over. At the time of recording, the Mookie Betts trade remained up in the air, leading us to agree with Justin Turner that journalists shoving decorum to the side to get a scoop can make a real mess of things. Speaking of messes, the Player’s Union and Joc Pederson got the shaft from MLB and the Arbitration Panel, who forced Pederson to negotiate salary with the Dodgers even when he was an act...
2020-02-1142 minNo Crying In BaseballA Squirrel, a Polar Bear, the Beast and Superman walk into a bar...We get way into the weeds around the Astros cheating scandal and cite a few studies trying to get at what players were doing what and when and can we ever know. Dusty Baker riding into town to clean up the Clubhouse Culture gives us hope. Pottymouth channels her inner Whitney to introduce her new Cleveland boyfriend, that “big happy chunk of ball destruction” Franmil Reyes. Patti starts her Oscar Mercado profile with a Christmas morning in Cartagena story, and ends it with a Superman catch. There’s talk of knobless bats, too many gloves, and excellent use of protec...
2020-02-0446 minNo Crying In BaseballJust Wait ‘Til Next Year, OmarPottymouth does math (!) to show how NCiB once and forever baseball boyfriend Omar Vizquel will get voted into the Hall of Fame *next* year. Maybe. New Mets manager Luis Rojas has an excellent pedigree and a deep history with the team. Patti and the Pottymouth pull out their Mom cred to jump on Scott Boras’ assertions that the Astros players don’t need to apologize, and Justin Turner wonders why Dallas Keuchel, who didn’t even hit, was the one who did. Rep. Bobby Rush says Congress as an “ethical and moral” imperative to investigate the cheating scandal, because they don’t...
2020-01-2841 minNo Crying In BaseballA Little Bit Happy, A Little Bit WTFPatti and the Pottymouth perform a public service by saving their Astros Cheating Scandal rant until the end of the show, so they can set you up with the happy first.Boyfriends this week come from the Rangers and the Cubs. Pottymouth leads the Texas talk with Joey “Pico de” Gallo, an actual joey, and some puppies, and Patti counters with Nick “Hockey kid” Solak, an enthusiastic mom, and a holiday proposal. Over at Wrigley, Pottymouth finds her catcher in bat-dropping Wilson Contreras, and Patti looks to brainy Nico Hoerner to start this year. We are o...
2020-01-2151 minNo Crying In BaseballPatti Breaks up with Anthony RendonBaseball players once again step up for disaster relief, this time for earthquakes in Puerto Rico, where ballparks are serving as shelters. Our favorite World Series first pitch, Chef Jose Andres, is feeding thousands through his World Central Kitchen, a good destination for your relief dollars or volunteer time, if you are so inclined.Patti explains Arbitration, and runs through NCIB boyfriends past and present heading down the file and trial road. Mookie and Cody set records for deals.Pottymouth chooses Albert Pujols as her Angels boyfriend because of...
2020-01-1446 minNo Crying In BaseballWild Boars, WAR, and A*&hole of the Year AwardIn the first episode of the new year, we bestow our very first A*&hole of the year award to Domingo Germán, who earned the league’s longest suspension for violation of the domestic abuse policy for a player not formally charged. The Yankees clean house in training and conditioning and make us wonder just how good the 103 game-winning team will be without a record number of player injuries. On a related note, wild boars have joined suitcases and drones on the list of causes of preventable player injuries. Our White Sox boyfriends include this year’s Eloy Jimenez...
2020-01-0746 minNo Crying In BaseballGrowing Into His Man MusclesThis week’s baseball boyfriends represent the Seattle Mariners and Colorado Rockies and include an actual smackdown. Pottymouth’s BF Austin Nola will be competing with Patti’s BF, Evan “Beautiful Freak” White, for the Mariner’s starting 1B. Representing the Rockies, Pottymouth selects commercial star and self-proclaimed Momma’s Boy, Ryan McMahon, while Patti goes for former National and longtime good human Ian Desmond.Moving forward from the tragedy that was the death of Tyler Skaggs, MLB and MLBPA amend the Joint Drug Agreement to focus less on discipline and more on prevention and treatment...
2019-12-3146 minNo Crying In BaseballBoba Fett, Baseball BoyfrendPatti marks the release of the latest Star Wars movie by spoiler-free naming Boba Fett, er, Bo Bichette, her Blue Jays boyfriend for 2020. Pottymouth is happy to find that even though we never stopped talking about Vladimir Guerrero, Jr. last season, he wasn’t an official boyfriend, until now. Over in San Diego, Pottymouth lays claim to Eric “Red Hot Chili Peppers” Hosmer, while Patti chooses Josh “Born with Skates on” Naylor. Let. The. Kids. Play.We realize we might actually like Gerrit Cole, since that whole World Series situation is firmly behind us. How can you...
2019-12-2447 minNo Crying In BaseballPottymouth and The PunisherPottymouth is all in for Aristides “The Punisher” Aquino as her new Reds boyfriend, so much so that her Dominican Winter League fandom is now divided. Patti also looks to the outfield and selects Nick Senzell, who had her at The Green Monster “makes you feel so tiny.” Over in Kansas City, Cuban-born Jorge Soler and his personal emoji capture Pottymouth’s attention, while Hunter Dozier and his backyard batting cage are Patti’s pick.Anthony Rendon is leaving is for the Angels where he can hide behind Mike Trout and his exclamation points, and we have f...
2019-12-1743 minNo Crying In BaseballManos de SedaBefore we kick off the Boyfriends of 2020, we dabble in boyfriends of long ago and just yesterday. Patti’s original baseball boyfriend, Omar “Manos de Seda” (hands of silk!) Vizquel, landed a new gig managing Mexico’s Toros de Tijuana, and our HOF campaign progresses in earnest. Pottymouth’s 2019 Orioles BF Jonathan Villar is waived outright by the Os, and instead of emotional support, she gets a vocabulary lesson on the non-tender deadline. Some friend.We cheat off the smart kids, er, receive suggestions from experts, on the first batch of baseball boyfriends for 2020. Pottymouth fi...
2019-12-0345 minNo Crying In BaseballMajor Rant About the Minor LeaguesPatti and the Pottymouth go off on MLB’s plan to gut the minor leagues, saying things like “Capitalism,” “Sanders,” “Schumer,” and “veiled threats.” Sports isn’t just sports. It is economics, labor, community, family, and politics too.On a lighter note, we bestow the title of Honorary Boyfriend on Gerardo Parra, as he departs to play in Japan.Patti reminds us what this whole “Rule 5 Draft” is about and why you’ve been hearing about which prospects teams have been protecting by placing them on the 40 man roster. This leads to a discussion...
2019-11-2638 minNo Crying In BaseballBe Better Than ThisWe can’t avoid the Astros’ sign-stealing scandal, so we lean right in. Patti and the Pottymouth choose opposite sides of the Darvish/Yelich twitter feud, as well as just how deep Alex Cora and Carlos Beltran are enmeshed in the kerfuffle.How could the Giants think bringing on Gabe Kapler was a good idea? Was it his less than stellar record with the Phillies? Or his inappropriate attempts at covering up an assault scandal while with the Dodgers? Buster Posey knows what’s what.Pottymouth catches us up on the Premier 12, and how the on...
2019-11-1943 minNo Crying In BaseballThat’s Junior Pottymouth to YouSilver Sluggers are announced and NCiB Boyfriends Ozzie Albies, Ronald Acuna, Jr., and DJ LeMahieu collect their first awards, while Anthony Rendon takes home #2, and Mookie “Pookie” Betts, Christian Yelich, and Nelson Cruz are three-time winners. Once again we miss our chance to vote for the Platinum Glove winners, and once again Nolan Arenado and Matt Chapman are the winners. There must be something in the water, or the infield grass, at El Toro High School in Lake Forest, CA. Which is not the same as the Rancho Carne Toros. Not the same at all. Patti begin...
2019-11-1243 minNo Crying In BaseballSo Much Crying in BaseballWe note once or twice that the Washington Nationals won the World Series. The end of the postseason signals the start of the hot stove season so Patti offers a vocabulary lesson in exercising options. Pottymouth posits that Never Gonna be a Boyfriend Aroldis Chapman did not opt-out of his Yankees contract because there are no other places for abusive relievers.Scott Boras manages all of the top three Free Agents and has Ideas about shortening the season that sound downright reasonable.Defense is sexy and our boyfriends are all over the Gold Glove awards...
2019-11-0540 minNo Crying In BaseballWe’re Gonna Need a Bigger BandwagonPart-way through the AL and NL championship rounds, we welcome bandwagon fans. Come on board, we’ll make room for everyone and don’t let anyone tell you you don’t belong. It’s our job to try to keep you, not disregard you for not being born into a baseball-loving family. Besides, bandwagon fans are the most fun to explain superstitions and rituals to. Same seats! No he CANNOT shave that terrible beard. Yes, I wore that shirt last time too.We thank Dodgers’s fans for their disregard of our warnings about the Wave...
2019-10-1529 minNo Crying In BaseballThat F*%#ing ChopHaven’t had a rant like this for a while. Pottymouth goes off on that fucking Tomahawk Chop, which got personal for Cardinal’s pitcher Ryan Helsey, but if that is what it took for you to see the problem, what the heck is wrong with you? You cannot simultaneously give your fans foam tomahawks and say you are taking steps to eliminate the chop. Side note, Patti swears for real.Everybody was mad at Ronald Acuna Jr. for not one but two instances of admiring a home run and what turned out not to be...
2019-10-0839 minNo Crying In BaseballWe Say “Groin” Way Too MuchIn the calm between the regular season and the start of the postseason, we review, regroup, revile, and rejoice. Yadier Molina gives us the last bench-clearing conversation of the season. Our baseball boyfriends past and present clean up with the batting titles. Tim Anderson, Anthony Rendon, Mookie “Pookie” Betts, and future BF Pete Alonzo do us proud. Patti reveals that catcher Tony Wolters has been her secret Rockies BF since July, and played an end of season spoiler. Pottymouth’s Rangers BF Ronald Guzman was bullied into a ridiculous dropped foul to fuel Mike Minor’s wish for a personal...
2019-10-0135 minNo Crying In BaseballChasing History with Pete, Ronald, and NickWith one week left in the season, is there enough time for Pete Alonso to break the record for home runs by a rookie? Can Ronald Acuña, Jr. steal those last three bases to join the coveted 40-40 club? Will Nick Castellanos hit those last two doubles for a season high of 60, not seen since 1936? Add that to the two Central division champions and all the wildcards to be decided and it’s a heck of a week for baseball fans.Eugenio Suarez breaks the record for homeruns by a Venezuelan player in the majors, and...
2019-09-2434 minNo Crying In BaseballHoly Crap, it’s the 100th Episode!So many guys are out for the rest of the season. Some from random and heartbreaking injury, and some from preventable mayhem. We mourn the loss of Christian Yelich and ponder the opportunity that Shohei Ohtani’s knee surgery provides to improve his command of Spanish language cursing. We give a hearty WTaF to Kyle Crick’s “I punched my own teammate over music choices” injury and Michael Pineda’s “over-the-counter weight loss pills seemed like a good idea at the time” suspension. The grooming segment is back, celebrating Bo Bichette’s flow, noting Pete Alonso’s mustache, a bad idea coming AND...
2019-09-1733 minNo Crying In BaseballIt’s always Shark Week with Gerardo ParraMuch to Pottymouth’s delight, Patti finally embraces “Baby Shark.” Not as a song, of course, but as a builder of fan unity. This leads to a whole slew of rules, suggestions, and musings about fan participation (the Stretch is compulsory, but leave your Chop at home). Patti’s Cleveland BF Jose Ramirez is on a tear, making that early-season pick of league MVP not so ridiculous. Pottymouth’s Os BF Jonathan Villar is knocking it out of the park, showing off sexy defense, stealing bases and contributing to a historic (in a good way) week for the Orioles...
2019-07-3035 minInnocuous Basterds#115 - NCIB Celebrity Death Tourney 2.0 - Part 2The contenders in the NCIB Celebrity Death Tourney 2.0 battle it out. Who will emerge victorious? Listen to find out. | Creative Commons Music: "Habitual Ritual" by Revolution Void http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Revolution_Void/ | *** Warning: NSFW due to some harsh language, a few sexual references, and potential drunkenness of the hosts and/or guests. Listener discretion advised. | © 2016, JonSquared Media
2016-03-1059 minInnocuous Basterds#114 - NCIB Celebrity Death Tourney 2.0 - Part 1The 'Sterds™ unveil the contenders in the NCIB Celebrity Death Tourney 2.0. This is part 1 of 2. Come play along at http://innocuousbasterds.wordpress.com | Creative Commons Music: "Habitual Ritual" by Revolution Void http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Revolution_Void/ | *** Warning: NSFW due to some harsh language, a few sexual references, and potential drunkenness of the hosts and/or guests. Listener discretion advised. | © 2016, JonSquared Media
2016-03-0338 minInnocuous Basterds#112 - The Next NCIB Death TourneyThe 'Sterds™ teases about the NCIB Celebrity Death Tourney 2.0 and Mac provides a political update. | Creative Commons Music: "Habitual Ritual" by Revolution Void http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Revolution_Void/ | *** Warning: NSFW due to some harsh language, a few sexual references, and potential drunkenness of the hosts and/or guests. Listener discretion advised. | © 2016, JonSquared Media
2016-02-1835 minInnocuous Basterds#74 - Celebrity Death Tourney FINALS!The 2015 NCIB Celebrity Death Tourney concludes with the FINALS! Listen to find out who lived to tell the tale and who ended up six feet under!
Creative Commons Music: "Habitual Ritual" by Revolution Void http://www.jamendo.com/en/list/a2225/increase-the-dosage
*** Warning: NSFW due to some harsh language, a few sexual references, and potential drunkenness of the hosts and/or guests. Listener discretion advised.
© 2015, JonSquared Media
2015-04-0221 minInnocuous Basterds#73 - Celebrity Death Tourney, Rounds 2 & 3The 2015 NCIB Celebrity Death Tourney continues with Rounds 2 & 3 of the match-ups. Who will play in the final round? Listen to find out!
Creative Commons Music: "Habitual Ritual" by Revolution Void www.jamendo.com/en/list/a2225/increase-the-dosage
*** Warning: NSFW due to some harsh language, a few sexual references, and potential drunkenness of the hosts and/or guests. Listener discretion advised.
© 2015, JonSquared Media
2015-03-2623 minInnocuous Basterds#72 - Celebrity Death Tourney, Round 1The 2015 NCIB Celebrity Death Tourney commences with Round 1 of the match-ups. Who advances all the way to the finals? It's all in the roll of the dice, as the 'Sterds prove in this episode. How did you do in your bracket?
Creative Commons Music: "Habitual Ritual" by Revolution Void http://www.jamendo.com/en/list/a2225/increase-the-dosage
*** Warning: NSFW due to some harsh language, a few sexual references, and potential drunkenness of the hosts and/or guests. Listener discretion advised.
© 2015, JonSquared Media
2015-03-1923 minInnocuous Basterds#71 - NCIB Celebrity Death TourneyWithout further ado! The 'Sterds bring you the NCIB Celebrity Death Tourney!
Creative Commons Music: "Habitual Ritual" by Revolution Void http://www.jamendo.com/en/list/a2225/increase-the-dosage
*** Warning: NSFW due to some harsh language, a few sexual references, and potential drunkenness of the hosts and/or guests. Listener discretion advised.
© 2015, JonSquared Media
2015-03-1234 min