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Nan Tepper
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The Next Write Thing: Real Life Stories by Nan Tepper
If You’re Afraid of Butter, Use Cream
On this night, I’m going to tell you a story. A story about a different kind of savior. One who saved millions of American homemakers (yes, they were women) who wanted to enchant their husband’s palates with something a little more interesting than beef stew. So, they learned to cook with the best. JC, heretofore referred to as Julia Child. And what did those women learn to cook first? Boeuf Bourguignon! Beef stew. Oooh, la, la! THEN:It’s 1969, and I run into the den, where my parents are watching TV. I say, “Mommy, I...
2025-12-24
15 min
The Next Write Thing: Real Life Stories by Nan Tepper
Taking A Back Seat: A Reprise
I chose to share this story with you for two reasons. Reason number one is I’m on vacation until the first week in January. I’ll be posting from my archive. I’ll also be telling more 4-minute stories because I want you to know about Wham! Bam! Thank You! Slam!, the new project I’ve created with my partner-in-slam, Eileen Dougharty.The second reason is I want you to know that recovery is possible. It’s available to anyone who wants it. And while this post was originally about my body shame, now it’s about...
2025-12-17
13 min
The Next Write Thing: Real Life Stories by Nan Tepper
Don't Try This At Home!
My little 7-year-old pup, Maisy, raced ahead of me last night as I walked to my bedroom, to ready myself for sleep.She made the leap onto my freshly-made bed with ease––she’s a high jumper––and planted her butt down on what she thinks of as her side of the bed. She wouldn’t budge. All 15 pounds of her. She sat there, trembling––I think it may be an act–– and made timid, hopeful eye contact with me, her nervous brown eyes asking, “can I stay, can I sleep with you tonight?” If you haven’t figured it out yet, Mais...
2025-12-10
16 min
The Next Write Thing: Real Life Stories by Nan Tepper
I Used To Be Different. Now I’m The Same.
When I was 15 years old, I did something unusual for someone my age. I took the est training. No, “est” is not a typo. It was spelled in lowercase letters with no periods. Little e, little s, little t. It stood for “Erhard Seminars Training” and was founded by Werner Erhard (aka Jack Rosenberg, Svengali-in-training). He came up with a formula, repackaged old wisdom, and gave it a new vocabulary. And, he knew how to sell. “Est” is also Latin for “it is.”It was the height of the 1970s “Me” Decade and the grownups were signing up for fix-yourself...
2025-12-03
17 min
The Next Write Thing: Real Life Stories by Nan Tepper
Pass the Stuffing
“I’m so excited!” he says. He calls to tell me he’s baking popovers this year. He bought a special pan.Uh, oh, he bought a special pan. It’s September, and Labor Day can still be seen in the rearview mirror and my father is making plans and testing recipes for his annual Thanksgiving feast.Every September he starts making lists. Lists of recipes and the necessary ingredients––never skimping on anything––no cutting corners with this guy. Referring to the notes he made the year before at his post-Thanksgiving recap of what worked well and wh...
2025-11-26
17 min
The Next Write Thing: Real Life Stories by Nan Tepper
LIVE! Unfixed : Uncut with Nan Tepper
Get full access to The Next Write Thing at nantepper.com/subscribe
2025-11-25
41 min
The Next Write Thing: Real Life Stories by Nan Tepper
Let’s Play Telephone. Help Me Spread the Word––I’m All Abuzz!
If this project is exciting to you, please restack, so we can get the news out to as many folks as possible. Thank you!Why so much buzz? Find out here, then join me, if you dare…This week, instead of my regular essay, I’m sharing some news with those of you who might not have heard yet. The buzz has been incredible since we announced it during our LIVE reveal last Friday. Instead of writing my regular weekly essay, I needed a few minutes to catch my breath and I want to k...
2025-11-19
09 min
The Next Write Thing: Real Life Stories by Nan Tepper
Replay: Nan Tepper and Eileen Dougharty reveal something BIG. It's GREAT. It's on the way!
Take a look at the recording of our LIVE from this afternoon. We introduced our new project, Wham! Bam! Thank You! Slam! Check it out, and subscribe….and if you want to get brave and tell a story at one of our events, take a look at the themes, and let us know. The guidelines (in brief) are in the graphic below. The slam is for women storytellers (cis & trans) and nonbinary folx. Men are welcome to attend as audience members, we’d love to have you show your support.Thank you Amy Gabr...
2025-11-15
28 min
The Next Write Thing: Real Life Stories by Nan Tepper
Melting Pots Are Beautiful
1. THIS IS NOT A WALL, THIS IS A WELCOME. TO YOU, TO EVERY PERSON. IT IS A CALL, TODAY AND ALWAYS. TO ACCEPT DIFFERENCES, TO REJECT DIVISION. TO STAND PROUD, AND SPEAK YOUR MIND. TO FEEL SAFE, TO BE SAFE. AND SPREAD LOVE OUTSIDE AND IN. 2. THIS IS NOT A WALL TO YOU. IT IS A CALL TO ACCEPT DIFFERENCES. TO STAND PROUD. TO FEEL SAFE, AND SPREAD LOVE. 3. THIS IS A WELCOME TO EVERY PERSON, TODAY AND ALWAYS. TO REJECT DIVISION AND SPEAK YOUR MIND. TO BE SAFE OUTSIDE AND IN. I...
2025-11-12
17 min
The Next Write Thing: Real Life Stories by Nan Tepper
On the Road as the Queen of Hearts
I’m sitting in my car in bumper-to-bumper traffic in Midtown Manhattan, grateful for the quiet, a welcome contrast from the loud party I just left. When it was over, I got in my car at the best possible time to head home. Rush hour.As I relaxed into the relief of being freed from chit-chat with strangers––something I’m skilled at but don’t enjoy––some other feelings crept in. Stress. Anger. Impatience. At first, I didn’t notice.Driving in Manhattan is an assault on my senses, and a reminder that people can be awful whe...
2025-11-05
15 min
The Next Write Thing: Real Life Stories by Nan Tepper
The Day I Punched the Orange Menace in the Face
I clomp down the stairs to the lower level of the gym. I’m angry and on the verge of tears. Mark, my trainer, is wrapping the session before mine. He looks up and sees that I’m not my usual smiling self. With a tiny nod, he lets me know he sees the state I’m in.It’s 2017, and I’m burning with rage and overwhelmed by the tsunami of sadness and depression I feel blowing in. January 2017, one week after the inauguration of the Monster-of-My-Worst-Nightmares-or-My-Wildest-Dreams-I’m-Not-Sure-Which. He’s already wreaking havoc. The first week, I...
2025-10-29
14 min
The Next Write Thing: Real Life Stories by Nan Tepper
The Legend of the Screaming Meme
Back in November when all seemed lost I started seeing a quote circulating on the socials. It was wholly attributed to Albert Camus. It offered me comfort, grounding, and hope. It’s a bit long, but worth sharing. I’m sure many of you have already seen it. It inspired me to write an essay in response. I made some progress, UNTIL I did a search to vet the quote. Cue suspenseful music. What I found was that there was only one line that could be attributed to Camus, as indicated here, in bold italics. I thought to myself, “Damn y...
2025-10-22
13 min
The Next Write Thing: Real Life Stories by Nan Tepper
Don't Rain On My Parade
Silly trigger warning: I’m going to sing now. For a moment or two. Then I’ll stop, I promise.Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum!Don’t tell me not to live and sit and putter, life’s candy and the sun’s a ball of butter, don’t bring around a cloud to rain on my parade!I’d sing that song in my bedroom, over and over again to infinity. I had it down: the timing, the elocution, the patter. I’d dance. My singin...
2025-10-15
14 min
The Next Write Thing: Real Life Stories by Nan Tepper
Oh, Those Pearly Whites!
5-YEARS-OLDI’m sitting up in bed. It’s very late at night. It might even be the middle of the night when no one is supposed to be awake. At least, no little kids are supposed to be awake.But I can’t sleep, because I’m too excited and I have something important to do.I have another loose tooth. It’s about to fall out, but it’s not ready yet. And I don’t want to wait for when it is. I want it out NOW. So, I’m up, and I’m doin...
2025-10-08
19 min
The Next Write Thing: Real Life Stories by Nan Tepper
Please, Can We Makeup?
We sat at a café table on the mezzanine, that overlooked the main selling floor of Macy’s Herald Square, their flagship store in NYC. I was being interviewed for a position selling cosmetics for Prescriptives, a makeup and skincare line created by Estée Lauder, the grande dame of lipstick and lotions, perfume and potions. The doyenne of the almighty dollar. She made a mint teaching women how to look their best, smell their sweetest, and nurture skin that would defy aging and positively glow. And she originated the ever popular “gift with purchase.” Estée had it go...
2025-10-01
19 min
The Next Write Thing: Real Life Stories by Nan Tepper
Boobs. A Brief History.
A boob roundup? What the heck is a boob roundup? I giggled to myself as I imagined a bunch of us in a rodeo corral, riding on horses, topless and flaunting it. We were attempting to lasso each other’s beauties to win a double-D loving cup in the shape of a bra, for having the most sensational set of knockers.Knockers? Who have I become? I’m like a teenage boy. And I'm mortified.Boobs are beautiful. But why are they beautiful? They’re globes of flesh that are attached to our chests, they vary i...
2025-09-24
13 min
The Next Write Thing: Real Life Stories by Nan Tepper
I'm in the Mood for Love
I have to write a love story today. My original intention for the coming week was to write about anger, to write about rage. To write about being a woman in a world that’s truly unkind to women. Brutal, in fact. To write about being a woman who’s hated solely because of my sex. Once you add in my confidence, my brains, my moral compass, my political views, my sexuality, my sense of humor, my weight, and my religion, that adds up to a whole lot of hate coming my way.Just by virtue of bein...
2025-09-17
16 min
The Next Write Thing: Real Life Stories by Nan Tepper
Up, Up, and Away?
“Wait? What? Why is my alarm going off? It’s still dark out. Did I set it wrong? ”Then, I remember. I’ve got to get up NOW because I’m flying to Los Angeles this morning. This isn’t a pleasure trip. I’m visiting my brother, who was in a motorcycle accident in June. He’s in a rehab at the beginning of a long road to recovery. It’s the first time I’m seeing him since the accident and I’m a nervous wreck. Bargaining with the goddess, Nyx, I just need to sleep for nine...
2025-08-27
16 min
The Next Write Thing: Real Life Stories by Nan Tepper
I'm Not Superstitious!
In the frenzy of organizing and packing to attend a writers workshop in Cape Cod and tying up loose ends, I decided to give myself a week off from writing a new story––that’s the first break I’ve taken in 83 weeks of new essays. I’ll be working on my memoir-in-progress this week and I’m excited!So, this week, I thought I’d treat you to a story that I wrote for my local Story Slam, an event I participate in as often as possible. The Slam is the origin of my active writing life, the thin...
2025-08-06
06 min
The Next Write Thing: Real Life Stories by Nan Tepper
I Throw The Ball
I originally wrote this piece for a storytelling event that took place a long while back. I thought it would be fun to tell it to you today. This one may be more fun to listen to…you know by now that I’m a ham.Some folks who share their lives, homes, and hearts with animals refer to themselves as “Pet Owners.”Who are they kidding? What are they thinking?My pets own me. My babies are “Nan Owners.”I live with my pups, Hazel and Hugo, and two cats named Franki...
2025-07-30
10 min
The Next Write Thing: Real Life Stories by Nan Tepper
Back Off, You!
My therapist leaned forward a little bit in her chair, but not too close, as she explained her special strategy to me. It consists of always wearing an imaginary hula hoop around my waist. Really? Yes. I wear the hoop to help me remember where I begin and end, and where other people start. My very own perimeter, a boundary. Of course, this works even better if the person I’m interacting with is sporting a hoop of their own and embraces the concept of personal space. That would put four to six feet of separation between us. Four to...
2025-07-23
13 min
The Next Write Thing: Real Life Stories by Nan Tepper
This Is Going to Hurt Me More Than It Hurts You
My parents are having a dinner party, and I’m not invited. I’m 5 years old, so maybe that’s why. The upstairs neighbors are coming over, and I’m excited, because I love Carol so much. She’s really, really tall, taller than my father, who isn’t short, and she’s very skinny (maybe a little too skinny) and she’s beautiful, and has blond curly hair. I’m fascinated by her hair. No one in my family has it, and I don’t know a lot of people who do, so this adds an extra layer of uniqueness to her...
2025-06-14
09 min
The Next Write Thing: Real Life Stories by Nan Tepper
Cha-Ching!
My father died on the last day of June in 2011, during Pride month. I’m mentioning it was Pride because my father was gay. He officially came out in midlife, when I was 16 years old, around the same time that I came out. My parents divorced and they began new lives, both of them living more honestly, and finally getting what they needed and had been unable to provide for each other.I was devoted to my father in healthy ways and not so healthy ways. We had a classic codependent relationship. He needed me to love hi...
2025-06-07
08 min
The Next Write Thing: Real Life Stories by Nan Tepper
Welcome Home
I wake up on a Monday in February to get ready for my day. Mondays are a busy day for me because I attend my 12-Step meeting for an hour, go directly into a 1-hour Zoom with my 12-Step sponsor, and then I proceed to an hour of therapy. The perfect trifecta. I’m introspective on other days of the week, too. But on those other days, my personal exploration isn’t squeezed into 3 consecutive hours of me, me, me.Rousing myself from bed, I lumber into the bathroom to pee, splash water on my face, and brus...
2025-05-31
08 min
Changing Lives Podcast
Changing Lives with guest Nan Tepper
Wendi and Nan discuss the joy and freedom of embracing your authentic self, speaking your truth, and doing what you love instead of what pleases others. Go here for Changing Lives videos, blog posts, and other helpful mental and spiritual health resources. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wendigordon.substack.com
2025-05-30
1h 01
The Next Write Thing: Real Life Stories by Nan Tepper
My Big Night Out!
It’s Saturday night in the summer of 1996. I’m in my bedroom in the huge house I’m sharing with 4 other people. It’s a new living situation for me. I’m trying it out, but it’s difficult. I don’t like having housemates. I like my privacy and quiet, but the opportunity arose when I was looking for housing, and I thought, why not give it a try? At least I’d save some money.I walk down the hall to the shared bathroom to shower before I head out. Sharing a bathroom is the hardest part...
2025-05-24
08 min
The Next Write Thing: Real Life Stories by Nan Tepper
Don’t Tell Me What To Do!
When I was little, my parents nicknamed me “Nancy No-No.” I’m not sure what the backstory is, but I’m pretty certain it had to do with me not wanting to be told what to do, or how do it. It was a defense mechanism that started early. As I got older, I became a master at digging my heels in.My reasoning was based on what to me was simple logic. It made perfect sense:* No one knows anything I don’t already know.* No one knows what I need better than I do...
2025-05-17
08 min
The Next Write Thing: Real Life Stories by Nan Tepper
A Daily Dose of Radical Acceptance and Joy
She’s a nervous little thing. The world makes her tremble. A raised voice makes her cringe. A sudden sneeze sends her flying into another room, as if she’s running for her life. I try to console her, but she’s just who she is. So, I work with her needs. I’m patient and kind.I remember never to yell at her or raise my voice in her presence. She cowers at the sound of loud voices. Sometimes she spooks and I have no idea why. My therapist teaches me about the concept of radical acceptan...
2025-05-10
08 min
The Next Write Thing: Real Life Stories by Nan Tepper
Solo Flight
“Where would you fly if you could?” she asked.*“What do you mean, If I could? I can! I can fly anywhere I want. I’ve done it. Hundreds of times,” I reply.Yeah, yeah. So, what if I can only fly when I’m sleeping, when I’m dreaming? It sure as hell feels real for me every time. When I soar in my dreams, I’m unencumbered by things as hefty, as ungainly, as the enormous shell of an airplane wrapped around me, all metal and plastic, engines roaring a never-ending din. When I’m flying in my...
2025-05-03
08 min
The Next Write Thing: Real Life Stories by Nan Tepper
On the Power of Names
When you were a little girl, your name was Nancy Ellen. The name your parents gave you. You were named for a man you never knew, your grandfather Norman. You were given a name that started with the letter “N”–– Nancy. You found out later that Nancy means “grace.” You liked that, you still do. Norman’s Hebrew name was Nachum. Your Hebrew name was a feminized version, Nechama, which means comfort, but you didn’t know the meaning for years.Your cousin was born 5 months before you, so she got Norma. You were always grateful that she came first...
2025-04-26
11 min
The Next Write Thing: Real Life Stories by Nan Tepper
So, How Long Is YOUR Resumé?
From the time I was a little girl I was motivated to earn money. When I was 5 years-old my family spent the summer in Fire Island and my playmates and I were tasked with the important work of finding beach glass in the sand by the ocean. Our parents paid us different amounts based on how rare the color of the glass was. Orange was the most rare and paid a whole dollar, turquoise and red got 25¢, cobalt blue 10¢, green 5¢, and brown and white glass only rated a penny.Back in the day, when there were no pla...
2025-04-19
11 min
The Next Write Thing: Real Life Stories by Nan Tepper
Sorry, Not Sorry!
When I was in first grade, my class would gather together on Monday mornings to talk about what we did over the weekend. There was a little girl who said the same thing every week, “I went to Indianapolis.” Every week. I didn’t know what Indianapolis was, or where it was, but I thought she was lying. We lived in New York City. Whatever this “Indianapolis” was, I didn’t think it was possible she was going every week. It sounded so far away, so foreign. Finally, after weeks of hearing her say “I went to Indianapolis,” I couldn’t stand i...
2025-04-12
13 min
The Next Write Thing: Real Life Stories by Nan Tepper
Here's Mud in Your Eye
I live in the Hudson Valley, two hours north of New York City. But in the 1980s I lived in Manhattan in a trendy neighborhood (Chelsea) in a fabulous rent-controlled apartment. I ate at great restaurants that stayed open really late and went to the clubs and danced until 4am. I was young, I was cool, I was free, and somehow, I was pretty brave. Maybe even a little reckless.In 1992 I moved away because I was burnt out. I had lived through thirteen years of watching young men, gay men mostly, get sick with HIV and...
2025-04-05
08 min
The Next Write Thing: Real Life Stories by Nan Tepper
Read Me A Story
Books are my lifeblood. I’ve always been a reader and always will be. I can’t imagine my life without books. I can’t imagine being a person who isn't called to read. Even the act of holding a book in my hands, and inhaling the dusty scent that’s between the boards is heaven to me.I was lucky. I grew up in a family that read. As a young child, my mother read to me every night. She was the bedtime storyteller. Now in her 80s, she can still recite Madeline by heart wi...
2025-03-29
08 min
The Next Write Thing: Real Life Stories by Nan Tepper
A Spoonful of Something
Note: I originally published this essay on March 17, 2024 without audio, so I thought I’d come back and add it to my new podcast. It’s also somewhat coincidentally connected to the new story I published this week, There’s a Pill for That. Check it out if you haven’t read it, yet. One morning when I was getting ready to go to school, my mom said she thought I looked ill, and wanted me to stay home. I refused, because I had studied hard for a spelling test, and I felt fine. I knew eve...
2025-03-22
09 min
The Next Write Thing: Real Life Stories by Nan Tepper
Cake.
I share my birthday with International Women’s Day, March 8th. I just looked it up and it’s MUCH older than I am. 50 years older! I love International Women’s Day. It’s woman-powered. Like me. From the time I was a little girl I always expected my birthday to feel magical. For the most part, it did. My mom and dad loved celebrating all kinds of occasions. For one day every year, I was the star. I ate what I wanted: CAKE! I got presents, cards, phone calls, and checks from my grandparents. But there was alwa...
2025-03-15
08 min
The Next Write Thing: Real Life Stories by Nan Tepper
What Are You NOT Eating These Days?
That’s the question I’m asked every time I’m invited to dinner at a friend’s house, or make plans to go out. My wonderful accommodating friends. But oh, that question. That question is a nod to my history of eating behaviors, my “dieting” behaviors, my “I’m going to find the cure to my food issues” behaviors. What are you not eating these days?I always have an answer. I’m not eating meat, chicken, pork or fish. I’m not eating fat or carbs. I’m not eating sugar, or flour, or grains (whole or refined). No da...
2025-03-08
09 min
The Next Write Thing: Real Life Stories by Nan Tepper
Soda With That Slice?
I started the day with a plan, with a purpose. I was visiting Long Island for a special occasion, and decided that while I was there, I’d take a drive and visit the place that informed much of my life. The place where I grew up. My hometown. The place that fueled my resentments, sadness, anger, and the hard memories I’ve carried for over fifty years.There aren’t many people left there that I knew back then, but there was one person I had to see.Our neighbor, Phyllis. She was family for me...
2025-03-01
10 min
The Next Write Thing: Real Life Stories by Nan Tepper
The Spy Who Loves Me
Episode 6 of Real Life Stories from The Next Write Thing. "The Spy Who Loves Me" by Nan Tepper. Get full access to The Next Write Thing at nantepper.com/subscribe
2025-02-22
12 min
The Next Write Thing: Real Life Stories by Nan Tepper
Less Than Zero
Finding clothing that fit, and looked good at me, was hard enough. Having to do it in front of a room of partially naked women as a fat teenager, was more than I could bear. Get full access to The Next Write Thing at nantepper.com/subscribe
2025-02-15
10 min
The Next Write Thing: Real Life Stories by Nan Tepper
The Medicine That I Need
The text of the story:This is how it started. This is what I believe. Memory can be unreliable, but memory can also be a starting point. Even if my memory isn’t completely accurate, it’s provided me with clues to understanding what happened that I believe contribute to the way I am.This is the story I’ve told myself for years. I do think it’s true. The memory is so strong, I can still feel it in my body.I woke up in my playpen. I was 3, maybe 4-years old. Stil...
2025-02-08
05 min
The Next Write Thing: Real Life Stories by Nan Tepper
Finders Keepers
Nan Tepper tells a story that took place in 1968 suburban Long Island. She found a man's gold, diamond, and ruby ring in the aisle of a hardware store and then she reveals what happens next. Get full access to The Next Write Thing at nantepper.com/subscribe
2025-01-29
09 min
The Next Write Thing: Real Life Stories by Nan Tepper
Twirling with Twyla
Nan writes about her experience in the 1970s at an open casting call for extras for the movie Hair, directed by Milos Forman and choreographed by Twyla Tharp. Fast forward to 2018, when Nan encounters Twyla again, and this time, she gets to dance! Get full access to The Next Write Thing at nantepper.com/subscribe
2025-01-22
13 min
The Next Write Thing: Real Life Stories by Nan Tepper
Bigger Than What?
This story was my debut essay that I published on Substack on Jan. 17, 2024. On the eve of my first anniversary, I’m launching my podcast. It’s great to be here. Enjoy! Get full access to The Next Write Thing at nantepper.com/subscribe
2025-01-15
08 min
Podcast – Secretly Timid
Episode 127 : Raunchy Baby-Making
On today’s show Paul is out of town and Danielle is busy with Dallas Vidfest, so the amazing Brian Harmless sits in with Nan and Jon. This week’s hot topics include : A poop transplant saves a woman’s life, a town rallies behind a bullied teen,  cheerleaders fight for the right to draw biblical quotes on that stupid sheet of paper football players run through, and actor Johnny Lewis apparently killed his landlord and the landlord’s cat before killing himself. This week’s featured song is Sourpuss  by Moris Tepper. It is from the...
2012-10-02
00 min
Secretly Timid
Episode 127 : Raunchy Baby-Making
On today’s show Paul is out of town and Danielle is busy with Dallas Vidfest, so the amazing Brian Harmless sits in with Nan and Jon. This week’s hot topics include : A poop transplant saves a woman’s life, a town rallies behind a bullied teen,  cheerleaders fight for the right to draw biblical quotes on that stupid sheet of paper football players run through, and actor Johnny Lewis apparently killed his landlord and the landlord’s cat before killing himself. This week’s featured song is Sourpuss  by Moris Tepper. It is from the...
2012-10-02
00 min
Secretly Timid
Episode 127 : Raunchy Baby-Making
On today’s show Paul is out of town and Danielle is busy with Dallas Vidfest, so the amazing Brian Harmless sits in with Nan and Jon. This week’s hot topics include : A poop transplant saves a woman’s life, a town rallies behind a bullied teen,  cheerleaders fight for the right to draw biblical quotes on that stupid sheet of paper football players run through, and actor Johnny Lewis apparently killed his landlord and the landlord’s cat before killing himself. This week’s featured song is Sourpuss  by Moris Tepper. It is from the...
2012-10-02
00 min