Shows
The Next Write Thing: Real Life Stories by Nan TepperBack Off, You!My therapist leaned forward a little bit in her chair, but not too close, as she explained her special strategy to me. It consists of always wearing an imaginary hula hoop around my waist. Really? Yes. I wear the hoop to help me remember where I begin and end, and where other people start. My very own perimeter, a boundary. Of course, this works even better if the person I’m interacting with is sporting a hoop of their own and embraces the concept of personal space. That would put four to six feet of separation between us...2025-07-2313 min
The Next Write Thing: Real Life Stories by Nan TepperThis Is Going to Hurt Me More Than It Hurts YouMy parents are having a dinner party, and I’m not invited. I’m 5 years old, so maybe that’s why. The upstairs neighbors are coming over, and I’m excited, because I love Carol so much. She’s really, really tall, taller than my father, who isn’t short, and she’s very skinny (maybe a little too skinny) and she’s beautiful, and has blond curly hair. I’m fascinated by her hair. No one in my family has it, and I don’t know a lot of people who do, so this adds an extra layer of uniqueness to her...2025-06-1409 min
The Next Write Thing: Real Life Stories by Nan TepperCha-Ching!My father died on the last day of June in 2011, during Pride month. I’m mentioning it was Pride because my father was gay. He officially came out in midlife, when I was 16 years old, around the same time that I came out. My parents divorced and they began new lives, both of them living more honestly, and finally getting what they needed and had been unable to provide for each other.I was devoted to my father in healthy ways and not so healthy ways. We had a classic codependent relationship. He needed me to love hi...2025-06-0708 min
The Next Write Thing: Real Life Stories by Nan TepperWelcome HomeI wake up on a Monday in February to get ready for my day. Mondays are a busy day for me because I attend my 12-Step meeting for an hour, go directly into a 1-hour Zoom with my 12-Step sponsor, and then I proceed to an hour of therapy. The perfect trifecta. I’m introspective on other days of the week, too. But on those other days, my personal exploration isn’t squeezed into 3 consecutive hours of me, me, me.Rousing myself from bed, I lumber into the bathroom to pee, splash water on my face, and brus...2025-05-3108 min
Changing Lives PodcastChanging Lives with guest Nan TepperWendi and Nan discuss the joy and freedom of embracing your authentic self, speaking your truth, and doing what you love instead of what pleases others. Go here for Changing Lives videos, blog posts, and other helpful mental and spiritual health resources. Get full access to Changing Lives at wendigordon.substack.com/subscribe2025-05-301h 01
The Next Write Thing: Real Life Stories by Nan TepperMy Big Night Out!It’s Saturday night in the summer of 1996. I’m in my bedroom in the huge house I’m sharing with 4 other people. It’s a new living situation for me. I’m trying it out, but it’s difficult. I don’t like having housemates. I like my privacy and quiet, but the opportunity arose when I was looking for housing, and I thought, why not give it a try? At least I’d save some money.I walk down the hall to the shared bathroom to shower before I head out. Sharing a bathroom is the hardest part...2025-05-2408 min
The Next Write Thing: Real Life Stories by Nan TepperDon’t Tell Me What To Do!When I was little, my parents nicknamed me “Nancy No-No.” I’m not sure what the backstory is, but I’m pretty certain it had to do with me not wanting to be told what to do, or how do it. It was a defense mechanism that started early. As I got older, I became a master at digging my heels in.My reasoning was based on what to me was simple logic. It made perfect sense:* No one knows anything I don’t already know.* No one knows what I need better than I do...2025-05-1708 min
The Next Write Thing: Real Life Stories by Nan TepperA Daily Dose of Radical Acceptance and JoyShe’s a nervous little thing. The world makes her tremble. A raised voice makes her cringe. A sudden sneeze sends her flying into another room, as if she’s running for her life. I try to console her, but she’s just who she is. So, I work with her needs. I’m patient and kind.I remember never to yell at her or raise my voice in her presence. She cowers at the sound of loud voices. Sometimes she spooks and I have no idea why. My therapist teaches me about the concept of radical acceptan...2025-05-1008 min
The Next Write Thing: Real Life Stories by Nan TepperSolo Flight“Where would you fly if you could?” she asked.*“What do you mean, If I could? I can! I can fly anywhere I want. I’ve done it. Hundreds of times,” I reply.Yeah, yeah. So, what if I can only fly when I’m sleeping, when I’m dreaming? It sure as hell feels real for me every time. When I soar in my dreams, I’m unencumbered by things as hefty, as ungainly, as the enormous shell of an airplane wrapped around me, all metal and plastic, engines roaring a never-ending din. When I’m flying in my...2025-05-0308 min
The Next Write Thing: Real Life Stories by Nan TepperOn the Power of NamesWhen you were a little girl, your name was Nancy Ellen. The name your parents gave you. You were named for a man you never knew, your grandfather Norman. You were given a name that started with the letter “N”–– Nancy. You found out later that Nancy means “grace.” You liked that, you still do. Norman’s Hebrew name was Nachum. Your Hebrew name was a feminized version, Nechama, which means comfort, but you didn’t know the meaning for years.Your cousin was born 5 months before you, so she got Norma. You were always grateful that she came first...2025-04-2611 min
The Next Write Thing: Real Life Stories by Nan TepperSo, How Long Is YOUR Resumé?From the time I was a little girl I was motivated to earn money. When I was 5 years-old my family spent the summer in Fire Island and my playmates and I were tasked with the important work of finding beach glass in the sand by the ocean. Our parents paid us different amounts based on how rare the color of the glass was. Orange was the most rare and paid a whole dollar, turquoise and red got 25¢, cobalt blue 10¢, green 5¢, and brown and white glass only rated a penny.Back in the day, when there were no pla...2025-04-1911 min
The Next Write Thing: Real Life Stories by Nan TepperSorry, Not Sorry!When I was in first grade, my class would gather together on Monday mornings to talk about what we did over the weekend. There was a little girl who said the same thing every week, “I went to Indianapolis.” Every week. I didn’t know what Indianapolis was, or where it was, but I thought she was lying. We lived in New York City. Whatever this “Indianapolis” was, I didn’t think it was possible she was going every week. It sounded so far away, so foreign. Finally, after weeks of hearing her say “I went to Indianapolis,” I couldn’t stand i...2025-04-1213 min
The Next Write Thing: Real Life Stories by Nan TepperHere's Mud in Your EyeI live in the Hudson Valley, two hours north of New York City. But in the 1980s I lived in Manhattan in a trendy neighborhood (Chelsea) in a fabulous rent-controlled apartment. I ate at great restaurants that stayed open really late and went to the clubs and danced until 4am. I was young, I was cool, I was free, and somehow, I was pretty brave. Maybe even a little reckless.In 1992 I moved away because I was burnt out. I had lived through thirteen years of watching young men, gay men mostly, get sick with HIV and...2025-04-0508 min
The Next Write Thing: Real Life Stories by Nan TepperRead Me A StoryBooks are my lifeblood. I’ve always been a reader and always will be. I can’t imagine my life without books. I can’t imagine being a person who isn't called to read. Even the act of holding a book in my hands, and inhaling the dusty scent that’s between the boards is heaven to me.I was lucky. I grew up in a family that read. As a young child, my mother read to me every night. She was the bedtime storyteller. Now in her 80s, she can still recite Madeline by heart wi...2025-03-2908 min
The Next Write Thing: Real Life Stories by Nan TepperA Spoonful of SomethingNote: I originally published this essay on March 17, 2024 without audio, so I thought I’d come back and add it to my new podcast. It’s also somewhat coincidentally connected to the new story I published this week, There’s a Pill for That. Check it out if you haven’t read it, yet. One morning when I was getting ready to go to school, my mom said she thought I looked ill, and wanted me to stay home. I refused, because I had studied hard for a spelling test, and I felt fine. I knew eve...2025-03-2209 min
The Next Write Thing: Real Life Stories by Nan TepperCake.I share my birthday with International Women’s Day, March 8th. I just looked it up and it’s MUCH older than I am. 50 years older! I love International Women’s Day. It’s woman-powered. Like me. From the time I was a little girl I always expected my birthday to feel magical. For the most part, it did. My mom and dad loved celebrating all kinds of occasions. For one day every year, I was the star. I ate what I wanted: CAKE! I got presents, cards, phone calls, and checks from my grandparents. But there was alwa...2025-03-1508 min
The Next Write Thing: Real Life Stories by Nan TepperWhat Are You NOT Eating These Days?That’s the question I’m asked every time I’m invited to dinner at a friend’s house, or make plans to go out. My wonderful accommodating friends. But oh, that question. That question is a nod to my history of eating behaviors, my “dieting” behaviors, my “I’m going to find the cure to my food issues” behaviors. What are you not eating these days?I always have an answer. I’m not eating meat, chicken, pork or fish. I’m not eating fat or carbs. I’m not eating sugar, or flour, or grains (whole or refined). No da...2025-03-0809 min
The Next Write Thing: Real Life Stories by Nan TepperSoda With That Slice?I started the day with a plan, with a purpose. I was visiting Long Island for a special occasion, and decided that while I was there, I’d take a drive and visit the place that informed much of my life. The place where I grew up. My hometown. The place that fueled my resentments, sadness, anger, and the hard memories I’ve carried for over fifty years.There aren’t many people left there that I knew back then, but there was one person I had to see.Our neighbor, Phyllis. She was family for me...2025-03-0110 min
The Next Write Thing: Real Life Stories by Nan TepperThe Spy Who Loves MeEpisode 6 of Real Life Stories from The Next Write Thing. "The Spy Who Loves Me" by Nan Tepper. Get full access to The Next Write Thing at nantepper.com/subscribe2025-02-2212 min
The Next Write Thing: Real Life Stories by Nan TepperLess Than ZeroFinding clothing that fit, and looked good at me, was hard enough. Having to do it in front of a room of partially naked women as a fat teenager, was more than I could bear. Get full access to The Next Write Thing at nantepper.com/subscribe2025-02-1510 min
The Next Write Thing: Real Life Stories by Nan TepperThe Medicine That I NeedThe text of the story:This is how it started. This is what I believe. Memory can be unreliable, but memory can also be a starting point. Even if my memory isn’t completely accurate, it’s provided me with clues to understanding what happened that I believe contribute to the way I am.This is the story I’ve told myself for years. I do think it’s true. The memory is so strong, I can still feel it in my body.I woke up in my playpen. I was 3, maybe 4-years old. Stil...2025-02-0805 min
The Next Write Thing: Real Life Stories by Nan TepperFinders KeepersNan Tepper tells a story that took place in 1968 suburban Long Island. She found a man's gold, diamond, and ruby ring in the aisle of a hardware store and then she reveals what happens next. Get full access to The Next Write Thing at nantepper.com/subscribe2025-01-2909 min
The Next Write Thing: Real Life Stories by Nan TepperTwirling with TwylaNan writes about her experience in the 1970s at an open casting call for extras for the movie Hair, directed by Milos Forman and choreographed by Twyla Tharp. Fast forward to 2018, when Nan encounters Twyla again, and this time, she gets to dance! Get full access to The Next Write Thing at nantepper.com/subscribe2025-01-2213 min
The Next Write Thing: Real Life Stories by Nan TepperBigger Than What?This story was my debut essay that I published on Substack on Jan. 17, 2024. On the eve of my first anniversary, I’m launching my podcast. It’s great to be here. Enjoy! Get full access to The Next Write Thing at nantepper.com/subscribe2025-01-1508 min
Podcast – Secretly TimidEpisode 127 : Raunchy Baby-MakingOn today’s show Paul is out of town and Danielle is busy with Dallas Vidfest, so the amazing Brian Harmless sits in with Nan and Jon.
This week’s hot topics include : A poop transplant saves a woman’s life, a town rallies behind a bullied teen, Â cheerleaders fight for the right to draw biblical quotes on that stupid sheet of paper football players run through, and actor Johnny Lewis apparently killed his landlord and the landlord’s cat before killing himself.
This week’s featured song is Sourpuss  by Moris Tepper. It is from the...2012-10-0200 minSecretly TimidEpisode 127 : Raunchy Baby-MakingOn today’s show Paul is out of town and Danielle is busy with Dallas Vidfest, so the amazing Brian Harmless sits in with Nan and Jon.
This week’s hot topics include : A poop transplant saves a woman’s life, a town rallies behind a bullied teen, Â cheerleaders fight for the right to draw biblical quotes on that stupid sheet of paper football players run through, and actor Johnny Lewis apparently killed his landlord and the landlord’s cat before killing himself.
This week’s featured song is Sourpuss  by Moris Tepper. It is from the...2012-10-0200 minSecretly TimidEpisode 127 : Raunchy Baby-MakingOn today’s show Paul is out of town and Danielle is busy with Dallas Vidfest, so the amazing Brian Harmless sits in with Nan and Jon.
This week’s hot topics include : A poop transplant saves a woman’s life, a town rallies behind a bullied teen, Â cheerleaders fight for the right to draw biblical quotes on that stupid sheet of paper football players run through, and actor Johnny Lewis apparently killed his landlord and the landlord’s cat before killing himself.
This week’s featured song is Sourpuss  by Moris Tepper. It is from the...2012-10-0200 min