Shows
The Unorganized Township of BootstuckTAPE 66 - The Whoop Ban and Seatless Bicycle RacingA noticeable drop in “whoops” leads to the revelation that Dave’s bout of whooping cough forced a temporary ban on celebratory noises — and some very questionable problem-solving methods. Bootstuck turns its attention to spring entertainment, including a seatless bicycle race through the forest and ongoing recruitment efforts to lure visitors north using a maze of travel instructions and social media flyers.Local “discoveries” include dream-inducing mushrooms, mood-enhancing campfire plants, and pine sap breakfast enhancements, all presented as perfectly normal community developments. Amid grand ambitions to finally get Bootstuck on the map, the conversation drifts from accidental wisdom to in...
2026-02-2604 minThe Unorganized Township of BootstuckTAPE 65 - Thirty Hours From AnywhereTape 65 kicks off with excitement over an incoming Dropbox delivery, triggered into action by a green flag that probably means “go.” Spring maintenance follows, including rotating the tires on Dave’s car — which hasn’t moved — with a confident “half quarter turn.”Bootstuck (now officially rebranded as “The Stuck”) also unveils its next big attraction: a travel show where visitors are blindfolded, spun around, and released somewhere in town or the woods. Along the way, Georgian renovations are revealed to belong to a man named Georgia, “words of wisdom” go missing, and the town’s long-avoided location is finally confirmed — ver...
2026-02-1904 minThe Unorganized Township of BootstuckTAPE 64 - Move The Shitter 5 feetWhen asked a simple question about rain, Bootstuck responds the only way it knows how: with large-scale tarp engineering and aggressively sticky-tacked grocery bags. Why spend $800 on a rain shell when you can fashion one from leftover Piggly Wiggly plastic and optimism? Spring has arrived, which means it’s time to string up old military tarps between trees, relocate the outhouse five feet to the left (or left), and reconsider the town’s 72-foot-deep sewage strategy.Along the way we meet Ricky Martin — possibly a ferret, definitely a little rickety — debate the true meaning of “infrastructure” (apparently a tall chair...
2026-02-1204 min
Afternoon Drive on The FanHour 3: Joe Vardon + James Harden’s Cavs debut + Can the Browns take advantage of their defense?Nick and Jonathan are joined by Joe Vardon of The Athletic. Also, they talk about James Harden’s debut for the Cavs, and they address a fear that some Browns fans have.
2026-02-1031 minThe Unorganized Township of BootstuckTAPE 63 - If Pluto Were Your GirlfriendTape 63 begins with an earnest attempt to advocate for dark matter, quickly pivoting into a passionate defense of Pluto, now rebranded as “Dwarfy,” a misunderstood ice dwarf traveling the wrong way and apparently deserving emotional support. A surprise interruption by Neil deGrasse Tyson does little to clarify matters, as Pluto’s size, temperature, and relationship to the sun are debated with mixed metaphors and diminishing patience.Back on Earth, attention turns to Bootstuck’s latest infrastructure project: a public bus that doesn’t move. Inspired by Into the Wild, the town has placed a lightly painted blue bus deep i...
2026-01-2904 minThe Unorganized Township of BootstuckTAPE 62 - A Mapmaker Tries to Find BootstuckTape 62 opens with a discussion of silliness that quickly spirals into confusion over string, strength, and a much-anticipated “stripper” coming to town—revealed to be strictly for removing paint, not clothing. From there, spring preparations begin in earnest, including plans to repaint fallen leaves and reattach them to trees with Caleb’s help, sometime between now and mid-May.Seasonal activities in Bootstuck include off-leash Caleb time, group “adventure rallies” involving shouting in the woods, and the long-awaited arrival of a mapmaker who may or may not be able to find the town. Elsewhere, major cultural developments unfold: mint inside...
2026-01-2204 minThe Unorganized Township of BootstuckTAPE 61 - The Green Day BlueprintTape 61 begins as a rambling voicemail about making a very urgent personal decision, before veering into a rescue operation involving a lost baby raccoon, an upside-down milk container, and Caleb acting as both lookout and chair. Along the way, concerns are raised about Caleb’s homemade cigarettes, soup sandwiches, and whether bagels are named for what they are or the bags they come in.The conversation drifts into ambitious plans to grow sesame “trees” across Bootstuck following a small fire, guided by a “blueprint” that turns out to be a faded Green Day t-shirt. The episode closes with refle...
2026-01-1604 minThe Unorganized Township of BootstuckTAPE 60 - The Social Media FlyerIn this episode, Bootstuck checks off another major cultural milestone after finally finishing Who’s the Boss—though it takes some time to determine whether the title refers to the vacuum man, the working woman, or the elderly authority figure who “likes a lot of sex and tells everybody what to do.” Confident they’ve solved it, the group prepares to move on to Perfect Strangers, pluralized for safety.The conversation shifts to springtime and snow removal, which in Bootstuck does not involve shovels, blowers, or common sense. Instead, Caleb has been personally eliminating the snow by warming it...
2025-12-1804 minThe Unorganized Township of BootstuckTAPE 59 - The Day Bootstuck Thought Lorde Was ComingThe episode opens with a chaotic voicemail and quickly spirals into a very Bootstuck conversation about frozen rivers, rubber-banding birds to make them quieter, and the town’s proudly nonsensical “fish maze.” As the caller tries (and fails) to get a coherent answer from Bootstuck’s resident rambler, the discussion veers into Valentine’s Day preparations, including a contest involving hearts hidden around town — some carved, some hung, some written in the snow in ways that probably shouldn’t be encouraged.In the middle of this already-crumbling dialogue, the caller learns that Bootstuck is preparing for a major celebrit...
2025-12-1104 minThe Unorganized Township of BootstuckTAPE 58 - The Day Jonathan Frakes Wandered InThis tape begins as an attempt to discuss traffic conditions in Bootstuck and immediately collapses into a strange meditation on Dave’s “back 40,” which turns out not to be land at all, but a graveyard of empty bottles and 14 immobile cars. Before the conversation can gain any structure, Jonathan Frakes drunkenly bursts into the recording, mutters something unintelligible, and disappears—an event the Bootstuck resident barely acknowledges before resuming his ramble. From there, the narrator is dragged through a baffling tour of Bootstuck infrastructure: snow-rubbing for warmth, a DIY sewage system powered by four milkshake straws, and a workfo...
2025-11-2704 minThe Unorganized Township of BootstuckTAPE 57 - Toilet Paper Shed 6AIn this tape, two residents attempt to solve problems they clearly do not understand, beginning with the collapse of the township’s food supply and spiraling into Dave’s catastrophic “shed incident” involving a porcupine, several gallons of maple syrup, and far too much confidence. What follows is a wandering, deeply unhelpful conversation covering toilet paper hoarding, black licorice optimism, dangerous transportation ideas, and a revolutionary invention meant to help men fake childbirth empathy. As usual, nothing is resolved and everything somehow gets worse.Send a textwww.bootstuck.com
2025-11-2004 minThe Unorganized Township of BootstuckTAPE 56 - Bowling for Stars and Purple KushThis tape opens with what sounds like a cheap local radio ad for World of Bowling — a chaotic pitch about “hard or soft balls” that fades into a conversation so derailed it feels like a hallucination in real time. The interviewer tries to talk about bowling, but in Bootstuck, “bowling” apparently involves rolling people down a hill and occasionally throwing Caleb at the problem.From there, the discussion drifts through roosters in boxes, gardens full of “purple kush lilacs,” and the revelation that Bootstuck’s solution to its drug problem was to simply give everyone the drugs. The town is repo...
2025-10-3008 minThe Unorganized Township of BootstuckTAPE 55 - The Mushroom Intelligence Test with Corn JuiceThe tape begins with a voicemail — a jumble of static, mumbling, and the distinct sound of someone explaining how to “fix” a cassette with a pencil and a wiggle. From there, the conversation slides straight into Bootstuck logic: juice made from pinecones, acorns, and possibly corn itself.Soon the townsfolk are preoccupied with a new community effort — putting up lost cat posters around town. The posters, placed two feet high so the missing feline might “see them,” are an act of optimism more than strategy. From there, talk turns to the township’s new “no passing” rule — not for vehicles, bu...
2025-10-2404 minThe Unorganized Township of BootstuckTAPE 54 - Screw the Violins TogetherBootstuck receives another baffling shipment — one that somehow contains blank coins with holes, six violins (or possibly chair parts), an unidentified handled object, and an alarming number of beans. Between coughing up a real frog mid-conversation and debating how to “screw violins together,” the townsfolk attempt to make sense of their new supplies. They even claim to have a refrigerator — though it doesn’t run and functions mostly as a bookshelf.Somewhere between food safety and symphony, the group plans to teach the township how to identify edible mushrooms, a noble idea given how often everyone seems to be pois...
2025-10-1904 minThe Unorganized Township of BootstuckTAPE 53 - A Pocket Full of SlapsA confused caller accidentally goes live on the air and immediately loses his composure, setting the tone for another chaotic dispatch from Bootstuck. Between jam jars, smoke-filled air, and impromptu fire dances, the locals’ musical ambitions get derailed by missing spoons, homemade concerts, and a mysterious old man who may—or may not—have threatened someone’s life. When the tape recorder clicks on, we hear the chilling voice of a stranger offering a pocket rummage before the narrator bolts in panic and joy at once.It’s unclear whether Bootstuck has been visited by danger, absurdity, or both—bu...
2025-10-1604 minThe Unorganized Township of BootstuckTAPE 52 - A Hard Rain’s Gonna Fall (and Build a Lake)A torrential downpour hits Bootstuck, and the townsfolk treat it like an Olympic event. Our narrator excitedly describes his tactical methods for “dodging raindrops” and “putting out buckets,” before proudly announcing the formation of a brand-new body of water—Bootstuck Lake—created (apparently) by the rain itself. In between weather reports, Hat Guy makes a slippery return after tumbling down the stairs on a pile of sports magazines no one can read. These glossy imports inspire a new community initiative: recreating cricket and other foreign sports using cut-out pictures and Bristol board enthusiasm.By the time a conversation...
2025-10-1204 minThe Unorganized Township of BootstuckTAPE 51 - The Personal Walking AssociationIn this installment, the documenteur’s patience continues to erode as Bootstuck introduces yet another baffling innovation: the Personal Walking Association (or “PWA”). According to the locals, it’s an organized fitness initiative led by a man named Uber who walks people around “places.” Membership numbers stretch into the millions, and no one seems entirely sure what it’s for — except that it involves walking, sometimes sideways, and occasionally into trees.From there, the topic of physical fitness meanders into Bootstuck’s unique exercise regimen: jumping over ropes that don’t move, kettlebells that don’t ring, and Halloween...
2025-10-0904 minThe Unorganized Township of BootstuckTAPE 50 - The 'Stuck' Travel ShowThe documenteur, once again hanging by a thread of patience, tries to have a reasonable conversation while the residents of Bootstuck crawl around town “looking for scraps” and debating the difference between beets and beats. What begins as small talk about sore knees quickly dissolves into confusion about dance parties, water suppliers named River, and the discovery of Bootstuck’s newest local celebrity — Waving Tony, a man whose entire existence revolves around the art of waving.Tony waves at everyone and everything, sometimes so fast it’s unclear whether he has one arm or four. The docume...
2025-10-0504 minThe Unorganized Township of BootstuckTAPE 49 - Chamomile, Chloroform, and the Big Word BoardThe documenteur once again attempts to establish a thread of logic in Bootstuck, only to be derailed immediately by talk of sleep aids — ranging from chamomile tea to the rather more concerning chloroform and carbon monoxide. Dave, it seems, has been missing for six weeks, but nobody’s alarmed; apparently, he was just “sleeping under a tree."When pressed about education in Bootstuck, the locals reveal their belief that everyone simply “comes with the knowledge,” meaning there are no schools, just an ever-growing pool of collective half-knowledge. The documenteur, visibly exasperated, tries to pivot toward nighttime — only to be inform...
2025-10-0204 minThe Unorganized Township of BootstuckTAPE 48 - Dave Needs PeanutsThe recording begins with confusion over who’s actually speaking—Dave has stepped away to rescue yet another burned pot of porridge, leaving the conversation in the hands of Hat Guy. What follows is an increasingly unhelpful brainstorming session about Post-it notes. Dave has been scattering them across fields, hoping the mysterious “Dropbox guy” might deliver peanuts. Suggestions arise that maybe, instead of begging for legumes, they could use the notes to ask where they actually are. Caleb is promptly assigned to line up the stickies into a giant field-wide message.From there, matters only worsen...
2025-09-2804 minThe Unorganized Township of BootstuckTAPE 47 - The Gary Pointing SystemThis tape drifts between nonsense poetry, snack offerings, and unexpected town updates, stitched together by interference and interruptions. It opens with a ramble about dandelions, wishes, and snow cones, before a voice insists on offering the interviewer a peanut butter sandwich through the radio. Things derail into complaints about “wave and Tony,” which is either a person, a product, or both, depending on when you tune in.The chaos continues: Bootstuck now boasts a Gary Pointing System (GPS), where a man named Gary literally tells you which way to go. Dave is c...
2025-09-2504 minThe Unorganized Township of BootstuckTAPE 46 - The Hot Chocolate Day Ruffle KerfuffleAnother one from the Sudbury box that reads like half a weather report and half a late-night infomercial. It begins with someone solemnly tuned to the “hot chocolate channel,” explaining how to make your cocoa the exact temperature you desire — and, when it cools, how to rescue it with a scoop of something Bootstuck calls hotener. Caleb is dispatched to “boil up another pot” while the rest of the room debates whether a glass will do the job.The day turns stranger fast. Background noise (a “ruffle kerfuffle”) and what sound like two old ladies trading barbs...
2025-09-1404 minThe Unorganized Township of BootstuckTape 45 – Face Eyes and Moon HowlsBootstuck begins the day with a greeting both dramatic and obvious: “Here I am. Look at my face eyes.” From there, the conversation turns lunar. The townsfolk celebrate the moon depending on its fullness—full moons get full howls, half moons get hoots, and cloudy nights simply mean supper. This tradition, naturally, comes from a wild dog.Dinner is also a focus, thanks to the arrival of 72 cans of dinosaur soup. The red-sauced noodles shaped like brontosauruses and spiky dinosaurs quickly become the new staple, though the question remains whether a brontosaurus tastes different from, say, a...
2025-09-1104 minThe Unorganized Township of BootstuckTAPE 44 - The Ocean Comes To TownSpring stirs something in Bootstuck, and apparently that something is an ocean under construction. What began as a single hole, diligently filled with Caleb’s 17 buckets of water, has now become a civic engineering project—one bucket per week until the town achieves “ocean status.” Skeptics suggest it’s more of a pond, but optimism prevails.In equally practical fashion, the locals have invented short pants by cutting long ones in half, rotating them daily so that nobody has to fully commit to shorts or trousers. “Pants is pants is pants,” after all.A sudden...
2025-08-3104 minThe Unorganized Township of BootstuckTAPE 43 - The Bootstuck Nude Racing LeagueThis week in Bootstuck, a new civic initiative is announced: treasure chests filled with nickels and notes will be hidden around town, doubling as both a wishing well and a municipal mystery. Meanwhile, preparations are underway for a “cake show,” featuring Gerald popping out of one, Caleb baking another, and Dave inevitably producing something spaghetti-shaped.The town also attempts a census by slapping numbered sticky notes on people’s heads—accuracy optional. And as winter ends, the community embraces “nude racing” through the sugar bush, a spring ritual that is apparently faster than skidoos, shinier than Dave’s new spools...
2025-08-2804 minThe Unorganized Township of BootstuckTAPE 42 -Dave’s Dependency DepotBootstuck continues its grand tradition of opening businesses that should not exist. Fish Beach, the town’s only two-fish restaurant, is thriving thanks to its “hooking parties,” while Tongues and Toes — the shoe-store-coffee-house hybrid that once served cups of Joe’s literal ashes — is finally closing its doors. (Don’t worry, the locals are going back to drinking gravy.)The conversation drifts to childhood snacks (wagon wheels, children — same thing), oddly colored elbows, and Bootstuck’s unusual take on pharmacy services. At Dave’s Dependency Depot, you can get everything from red licorice to Viagra, depending on...
2025-08-2404 min