Shows
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#088 Setting Limits the Gentle Parenting WayWelcome to today’s episode where we’re diving into a topic many parents wrestle with: setting limits the gentle parenting way.
It’s a balancing act, finding that sweet spot of setting appropriate limits - am I being too strict and controlling or am I being too permissive?
Today I explore how to navigate walking the tightrope of limits with intention and connection.
I talk about:
Understanding Your Own Relationship with Limits
Balancing Personal Needs and Your Child’s Needs
The Role of Limits in Child Development
Flexibility and Authe...
2025-01-2225 minHow to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#087 Attunement in parenting. What is it and why is it important?Attunement is a super important concept in parenting, where your brain's limbic system tunes in and syncs up with the emotional energy of your child.
Of course, we deeply love our children and attunement is how children know they are loved.
Children’s brains develop through relationships with caring, attuned adults. By being present, noticing their emotions, and responding thoughtfully, we help children feel seen and valued, fostering empathy and emotional growth.
Some things to think about when it comes to attunement:
Tuning into yourself first: Be aware of your own emo...
2024-10-0319 minHow to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#086 How to reconnect after school instead of asking “How was your day?”You haven't seen your child all day, you are excited to reconnect with them and find out all about their day - but you are met with one word answers at best or even a full on meltdown.
Why do other people's kids seem to be chatty and full of zest at school pickup and your kid is taking a huff and refusing to get in the car!
Or maybe your children fight relentlessly all the way home and you're at your wits end!
If any of these ring true, or if you...
2024-09-2534 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#085 Back to School Boost: 4 Big Ideas to Tackle the Toughest ChallengesHere we are in September and many of us are back to school. Or maybe you’re beginning a new term. Wherever you are in the school year, if you’re having a few challenges you aren’t alone and I’m here to help.
Your child might be struggling with some aspect of school such as:
Separation anxiety
Getting out the door in the morning
Behaviour or friendship dynamics in school
After school issues - meltdowns, grumpiness, homework etc
In this week’s episode I am addressing a...
2024-09-0632 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#084 How to keep on parenting when life gets toughToday I talk about how you can keep on parenting to the best of your abilities when life gets challenging.
And let’s face it - life seems to continuously throw us huge curve balls.
Just surviving in this world is tough enough - and then parenting on top of that - wow, it’s not easy.
I’ve had a year of ups and downs and huge transitions but the one thing that hasn’t changed is parenting - we still have to show up and parent as best we can, even when life...
2024-06-1441 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#083 - Forget self-care, do these things for your nervous system firstDoes it infuriate you when people talk about self-care and it feels totally out of your reach?
You are stressed, your kids are fighting and some expert is telling you to take a bath??
Before we can even think about self-care, we need to do this first...
And that is checking in with our nervous systems, noticing whether we are in fight, flight or freeze and then finding ways to bring ourselves back into balance.
I talk about small habits we can weave into our everyday lives to slow down, notice...
2024-03-2114 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#082 - Ask me Anything: gentle parenting in preschools, smartphones, nail-biting and potty trainingThis week's episode is an Ask Me Anything episode, where parents in my community submit their questions and I answer them on the pod. I have some wonderful questions to answer this week which I think will be relevant to so many of you.A teacher and grandmother asks about the challenges of introducing connection-based approaches to children into the preschool setting.
I answer a question about helping a child move on from pull-ups to confidently use the potty or toilet. I discuss how we can gently support children with their underlying feelings so they can move throu...
2024-03-0251 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#081 How to say “no” in a gentle way without punishments, arguments or harshnessToday on the podcast I talk about the small interactions with your child that happen many times a day but often don’t go so smoothly. A simple request from you turns into a standoff or an argument - and you just want your child to listen without all the drama.
This is something parents ask me about all the time:“I don’t want to respond harshly to my children but I don’t want to be permissive either - what do I do?”
The question is - how to approach d...
2024-02-2318 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#080 Why we get angry with our children and the secret to staying calm in the momentToday I talk about why parents get angry in the heat of the moment with their children and what you can do in the moment when you feel the anger rising in you.
This is a re-record of the very first episode of the podcast. The sound quality is poor in the original but it is such a great topic so I wanted to put it out there again in better quality.
And we need to hear this information over and over again because in the heat of the moment w...
2024-02-1021 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#079 When your child doesn’t want to go to schoolIn today's episode I talk about that dreaded scenario when you have your day planned out with work or other commitments and your child says (directly or indirectly) "I don't want to go to school today".
Your heart sinks. You might panic or try to persuade them that they do really want to go.
When we act from a place of panic or frustration, it usually leads to upset and conflict and rarely moves things forwards.
So today I talk to you about how best to proceed when you are triggered and your...
2024-01-3128 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#078 A quick way to connect after you’ve all had a busy day apartIn this week’s episode I talk about a super quick, super effective way to connect with your little ones after you’ve all had a busy day apart.
Often asking them about their day leads to one word answers or can make your child irritable with you.
Despite their reluctance to talk to you, they want to reconnect, they want to feel close to you but asking them questions is rarely the best way.
Instead, I have a quick 10 minute fix that will bring y...
2024-01-2013 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#077 The only new year’s resolution parents / caregivers need this yearHappy new year!
Today I want to talk about the only new year’s resolution you need to make to get your parenting back on track.
It is one of my favourite practices and it is probably the most effective and most important parenting strategy that you can start using straight away.
January is a great time of year to reassess your parenting, to notice what needs to go and what you need to get back on track.
Over Chris...
2024-01-1323 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#076 How to slow down, manage the inevitable meltdowns and enjoy Christmas with young childrenOh no, Christmas is almost upon us!
We all know that Christmas with small children doesn't always go smoothly.
The mix of excitement, lack of routine and excessive amounts of sugar doesn't always make for a peaceful holiday.
But fear not, I am your Christmas elf and I’m going to help you make it through the festive season with your sanity intact - and hopefully you will also be able to have some fun along the way.
We all need a pep talk at this time of year to get us...
2023-12-2021 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#075 Do you wrestle with your kids? Why rough and tumble play is beneficial and everything you need to know to get started!The last thing exhausted parents want to hear is that they should be playing with their kids more - right?
Perhaps the thought of rough and tumble play fills you with dread, perhaps you have tried it and it all ended in tears, or perhaps you are curious about it but you aren't quite sure how to go about it.
This week I'm here to inspire you to give physical play a go with your kids.
In as little as 10 minutes a week you can bring more giggles, more connection and more fun...
2023-11-2743 minHow to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#074 Why parenting in the modern world is so hard - and what can we do?When parenting is hard, when we lose patience with our kids or we don’t have the motivation to give them the attention they need, we almost always blame ourselves.
Parent’s ask me all the time what they can do in these tricky situations. They presume the fault lies with them, if only they responded differently, tried harder, did more, then things would be better.
But what if none of it was your fault and the real reason parenting can be so very hard is that we are parenting in a very unnatural way that i...
2023-11-0436 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#073 AMA - Ask Me Anything: impulse control, power reversal play, emotional regulation, sibling rivalry
Today is an Ask Me Anything episode. I have lots of juicy questions about a whole range of topics including children running away in carparks, responding to a child who always wants a new toy in the shops, helping a child who doesn’t like to say hello or goodbye, a child who often interrupts, impulse control with hitting and sibling rivalry. I love the Ask Me Anything episodes because I think it helps parents to see that they are not the only ones trying to figure out how to deal with their child in a respectful and gen...
2023-10-2856 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#072 How to forgive yourself when you mess up in parentingToday I am talking about self-forgiveness in parenting and why it is so very, very important as we all strive to be more gentle parents. In fact, I will go as far to say that it is difficult to be a gentle parent without extending that same empathy towards yourself.
Empathy is at the very heart of gentle parenting but it is often considered something we offer mainly to our children. But it is hard to offer something we aren’t receiving ourselves. If we want our children to be empathetic towards themselves and th...
2023-10-2028 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#071 After-School Restraint Collapse: Why is my child falling apart after school and how can I help them?It is great to be back with season 3 of the podcast!
And today I’m talking about After-school Restraint Collapse.
You may not have heard this term - if you haven’t, it simply refers to the phenomenon of kids holding it together all day and then after-school they fall apart. They might have a meltdown in the car on the way home or they might be grumpy and short-tempered for the rest of the day, making everyone else's day miserable too.
I’m going to talk in depth about what causes After-School Restra...
2023-10-1444 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#070 Boundaries are about being true to yourself, not a way to control your kidsThis week on the podcast I am talking about boundaries and limits.
Boundaries in parenting are about understanding our own comfort levels and needs in a given moment with our children.
They are internal and help us establish limits with our kids.
These limits don't have to be harsh or controlling; they can be set in a gentle, loving, and warm manner. Boundaries and limits are not about trying to control our children but rather about being authentic with our children and maintaining our own well-being at...
2023-05-3117 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#069 How to help children with frustrationThis week on the podcast I am talking about how to help our children with frustration.
I think frustration is one of the most difficult emotions to be with - because so often we end up frustrated ourselves. We quickly get frustrated with our children’s frustration.
So this week I’m talking about how we can break out of that cycle of frustration and deal with it in a more emotionally mature way so we can support our children to offload their own frustrations and take on challenges in lif...
2023-05-2026 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#068 Parenting from afar - how to stay connected when you are away from your child
This week’s topic is prompted from a question in my Facebook group about parenting from afar. This parent is working away for 3 weeks and wants to know how to help her child with the separation. Separations do affect children, but there is so much we can do to support them with separation - whether it's dropping your child to school or daycare every day or longer separations when you are away for days or weeks.
In this episode, I talk about how we can help children with separation before, during and after we are away from them.
2023-05-1326 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#067 When is a consequence actually a threat? And how to swap consequences for connectionThe podcast is back!Today I’m asking when is a consequence actually a punishment? And how can I swap consequences for connection and still get my kids to bed on time??!This episode was inspired by a parent who asked me about her child who was reluctant to get ready for bed. “If you don’t put on your pyjamas we won’t have time to read your bedtime story” Is this a consequence or a punishment?
Listen in to find out.
In this episode, I discuss the fine line between...
2023-05-0312 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#066 Your parent questions answered Part 2: sibling rivalry, consent, chores and moreWelcome back to Part 2 of my parent q&a. In this episode I answer even more of your parenting questions from sibling rivalry, to teaching consent to helping children with aggression and much more.
The first question is about sibling rivalry and how you can set the foundations of a great sibling relationship between your children.
For more on sibling rivalry check our Episode 6 of the podcast #006 Sibling Rivalry - 5 steps to building a strong sibling relationship.
Next I answer a question about why some children simply won’t listen and how we ca...
2023-03-1843 minHow to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#065 Your parent questions answered: sleepovers, school conflict, children and deathWelcome to Episode 65 of the podcast where I answer questions from parents in my free Facebook Group: Peacefully Parenting Under 8s.
First up we have a question about how to navigate sleepovers safely and with confidence.
Then I answer a question about dealing with a school where teachers are shouting at children - how can you advocate for your child whilst modelling a gentle and respectful approach.
Next I talk about supporting our kids with death and grief and other people’s reactions to that.
You might also want to check out E...
2023-03-1725 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#064 Calm the Chaos in Six Simple StepsThis week I share with you my six simple steps to help you stay calm in the chaos.
This is a recording of a live workshop I delivered online last week.
I share my six step RETURN process and lots of practical strategies you can put into place straight away to support you on your journey to becoming a peaceful parent.
I also share some big perspective shifts that I have learned along the way on my own journey to give up yelling and live out my values of respect and kindness in my...
2023-02-2559 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#063 How to find your calm again with my two minute nervous system hackToday I want to share with you my favourite practice for finding my calm again when I’m feeling triggered.
In those moments my children need me to be the responsible adult who can regulate my system - who can bring my emotions back into balance again.
When you can regulate your emotions, it is the biggest gift to your child because it gives them a sense of safety so they can calm down too.
So the practice I share with you today has been massively effective at bringing me back from frustration, ba...
2023-02-1818 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#062 The three things I ask myself when I lose it with my kidsI remember a parent asking me a while back how he could take responsibility for the times he lost his temper with his kid. He felt apologising wasn’t enough if he was going to keep going back and making the same mistake again and again. That felt to him like an abusive relationship where the abuser keeps asking for forgiveness only to repeat the same pattern over and over again.
So this week I am talking about how we can take responsibility for the times we get triggered and why simply apologising when we lose it is...
2023-02-1124 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#061 Three big reasons you get angry - and none of them are your faultIn this week’s episode I talk about why parenting is so hard in this modern world we live in and the three biggest reasons why I believe we get angry and lose it with our kids.
When we are feeling calm, patient and well-resourced, when all our needs are taken care of, when we have no worries, we have no stresses, at those times parenting is easy.
We know how to be loving, kind, respectful and patient towards our kids.
We can take the time to listen to them. We can see th...
2023-02-0430 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#060 How to respond to family and friends who don’t agree with your parenting choicesWe've all had those comments from well-meaning (or not so well-meaning) family members, friends and even strangers:
"If you lift them up every time they cry you'll spoil them",
"I would never have dared answer back like that",
"Your child is out of control",
"You're being too soft on them".
So today I'm talking about how you can respond to these types of comments while still keeping your integrity and dignity!
If you would love to learn how to bring these ideas into your parenting to making a...
2023-01-2826 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#059 If I don't scold my child will they grow up to be entitled?We want to raise children who are considerate and kind towards others and who are grateful for everything we do for them, right?
A lot of parents worry that parenting in a gentle way without punishments or rewards will encourage children to be spoiled or entitled.
Is this the case?
Is it possible to raise children with respect and empathy without them turning into little brats who demand everything be done for them?
It's easier than you think!
In this episode I talk about:
how our ow...
2023-01-2127 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#058 Stress-free mornings: How to get children dressed and ready for their day without the battlesGetting children dressed in the morning has to be one of the most common and most frustrating challenges for parents.
If your child resists getting dressed and you end up arguing, cajoling and then finally losing your patience then you certainly aren't alone.
I invite you to listen to this week's episode where I talk about some fresh ideas to get mornings going more smoothly.
In this episode I talk about:
the difference between control and relation-based parenting,
why obedience isn't our goal,
how to decode children's behaviour so you can understand an...
2023-01-1426 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#057 Parenting your strong-willed childIf you have a strong-willed child, you know about it and it's hard!
You look at other people's children and ask yourself why it all seems so easy for them. They seem to go through life without all the arguments and drama.
Meanwhile you are dealing with difficult behaviour, engaging in lengthy explanations and major meltdowns over things like putting on shoes or turning a screen off.
It is exhausting and almost impossible to keep your cool.
So why are some kids so strong-willed whilst others are compliant?
And...
2023-01-0733 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#056 Christmas survival guide for parentsIt is almost Christmas time and there is so much pressure on parents at this time of year to make memories, to make every moment special, to buy the perfect presents and to make sure your child has a great time.
On top of that we often spend more time with family members which comes with it’s own challenges.
The emotional load on parents, especially mums, is huge at this time of year.
We are expected to make sure everyone is having a good time, we feel pressure to book fun activities, da...
2022-12-1726 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#055 How to help children with life’s small disappointments and big challengesToday I talk about how we can help our children with life’s small disappointments as well as the big challenges and changes that so many of us encounter.
One of the main roles of parents is to keep our children safe from harm, to protect them from the ups and downs of life.
But we can’t wrap them in bubble wrap and pretend the big bad world doesn’t exist.
No matter how careful we are, no matter what precautions we take, life happens.
Our children experience many disappointments and ch...
2022-12-1030 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#054 How to deal with swearing and name callingMost of us have been there when our child is name calling or using swear words.
It usually brings up a big reaction in us. We respond harshly or we aren't sure how to respond at all.
And that is often where the desire to swear arises from with our children. They notice the reaction it brings up in us. Seeing this reaction is compelling to them.
Or perhaps name-calling can be something a child turns to when they are feeling grumpy and disconnected. They direct their discontent towards you or their sibling...
2022-12-0328 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#053 What does emotionally mature parenting look like and how do you get there?When I became a parent I would have told you I had life figured out. If you had asked me about my emotional world, I couldn’t have explained much about it.
Yes, I wanted my children to be ‘good with their emotions’,, but I wasn’t very good with my own emotions - so how was I supposed to model or teach this to my own children?
Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand and manage your own emotions, as well as recognise the emotions of those around you.
It is the key to emo...
2022-11-2641 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#052 Do natural or logical consequences have a place in Gentle Parenting?There is a lot of talk in parenting circles about consequences. So I wanted to spend a bit of time breaking down what exactly we mean by consequences, including logical consequences and natural consequences.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen parents in Facebook groups looking for help to think of a logical or a natural consequence for their child’s behaviour.
This comes from a belief that children will only learn from their actions if every behaviour has some kind of consequence.
The problem is that there is a very...
2022-11-1920 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#051 Is it really possible to parent without punishments and rewards?There is a common myth that we have to reward good behaviour and have consequences for bad behaviour in order to get our children to listen and behave.
How do you get your kids to listen? What leverage do you have left as a parent if you can’t use a threat or a bribe to get your child to comply?
The problem is that rewards and punishments make children look outside of themselves for how to behave. Instead, you want to teach children to look within themselves, to their own internal compass of what is...
2022-11-1247 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#050 Your parent questions answered: supporting children with learning, sitting at the dinner table and off-track behaviour when Grandma is visitingToday I am celebrating the 50th episode of the podcast by answering some of your parenting questions.
I talk about supporting children with school and learning and the importance of focusing on our children's emotional development after which learning will follow.
Next up, I talk about how to deal with children who don't want to sit at the dinner table and cause chaos at mealtimes. I talk about what might be driving the tricky behaviour and how we can overcome it in gentle ways. You can read more about gentle ways to help children sit at...
2022-11-0537 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#049 Respecting children's fears and uncertainty at times like HalloweenToday I talk about respecting our children when they are hesitating or feeling uncertain about joining in at times like Halloween, but also other times like getting photos taken with Santa, joining in at birthday parties or participating in other activities you’ve signed them up for.
Whatever the situation may be, it is really common for young children to be uncertain at these times, to hesitate and hang back in your safety.
For me it always seemed like everyone else’s children were so much more confident and well-adjusted compared to my daughter who woul...
2022-10-2925 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#048 Seven ways to keep your cool when your child is pushing your buttonsThe biggest gift you can give your children when they are struggling with big emotions, when they are frustrated or upset, is to be the calm in their storm.
It is your parenting superpower.
When you can come to the situation with calm, you can be the confident leader your child needs in that moment. You can model emotional regulation and help your child co-regulate with your balanced system.
If you join them in their upset, their frustration, their meltdown, their drama, then both your limbic systems go into fight, flight or freeze...
2022-10-2239 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#047 The power of listening and the origins of Hand in Hand Parenting with Patty WipflerThis week I talk to Patty Wipfler, founder of Hand in Hand Parenting.
Patty has been working with parents for 47 years. Over that time she has developed the parenting by connection approach, the five listening tools you hear me talk about on the podcast (Listening Partnerships for parents, Staylistening, Setting Limits, Special Time and Playlistening) and the Hand in Hand Parenting organisation which supports 1000s of parents around the world.
In this episode Patty generously shares with us the story of her own childhood and how that had a profound influence on her life's work of...
2022-10-151h 21
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#046 Supporting our children to cope with grief, death and dyingThis week I talk about how we can support our children to cope with grief, death and dying.
We want to protect our children from grief. It is such a difficult time if you and your family are experiencing grief, if there is a death in your immediate family, a parent, a grandparent, a close family member, a friend, someone in the community - or a much loved pet.
Your child might start to ask about death or they might have some big feelings if they lose someone they love.
In this episode...
2022-10-0836 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#045 Raising Body Happy Kids with Molly ForbesThis week I talk to writer, campaigner and journalist Molly Forbes. Molly is author of the book Body Happy Kids: how to help children and teens love the skin they’re in.
In this episode, Molly shares her own journey to becoming body happy and how that led to her passion to help parents and children be happy in their bodies too.
We go on to talk about a wide range of topics with lots of practical ideas to help you raise body happy kids and become more body happy yourself. We talk about:
An...
2022-10-0157 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#044 Why gentle parenting is about connection instead of controlI talk a lot about connection on the podcast, it is at the heart of the Hand in Hand Parenting approach. And then I realised I’ve never done an episode dedicated to talking about connection.
So here it is - long overdue.
I often hear people ask - what exactly is gentle parenting? Or maybe they call it peaceful parenting, conscious parenting, respectful parenting or attachment parenting.
For me, gentle parenting is all about moving from control-based parenting to connection-based parenting.
Are we trying to control our children’s behaviour or a...
2022-09-2435 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#043 How to help children stay connected to their true selvesIn this week’s episode I talk about raising children who are able to stay connected to their true selves.
In this week’s episode I talk about raising children who are able to stay connected to their true selves.
I believe the only way to be truly content and satisfied in life is to be able to stay connected to ourselves and what we truly want and need in life.
When we are able to act from a place of connection to ourselves and make decisions based on what is in line with...
2022-09-1739 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#042 Ten tips for raising children who actually like you when they grow upMost of us have big hopes and dreams for our children when we become parents. The type of people they will grow up to be, the type of relationship they will have with us as they grow and eventually become adults.
But so often those hopes and dreams seem to get swamped in the day to day chaos of parenting.
I believe we all hope to have a close and loving relationship with our children throughout their lives as they grow up into adults.
So in this episode I share my 10 tips to...
2022-09-1036 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#041 Back to School - 9 ways to pack and unpack your child’s emotional backpackWelcome back to season 2 of the podcast!
For many of us here in the northern hemisphere, summer has come to an end and we are getting back to our routines: whether that is starting school or childcare for the first time or returning after the summer break. For those who home educate, it might be adjusting to having less friends around and finding a new routine.
People are sharing their back to school photos on social media. Everyone is looking shiny and excited. However, if you and your child are struggling with this transition you a...
2022-09-0332 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#040 Eight Things I learned (the hard way) about gentle parentingWhen my daughter became a toddler, I felt totally lost.
I didn’t know what I was doing.
I felt capable in other areas of my life - but family life was chaotic.
I didn’t know how to say no without upsetting her.
So I would do anything to keep the peace.
Until I got frustrated and ended up shouting.
Then I discovered practical tools that made gentle parenting a reality for me.
Six months later I was super confident as a parent.
Pa...
2022-07-2334 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#039 How to survive and thrive through the summer holidaysToday I am talking about the summer holidays.
Whether your kids are off school already or finishing up in the next week or so, it is normal to have mixed feelings about the summer break.
Maybe you are relieved to be finished with the school run for a few weeks or maybe you have to work and you’re stressing about juggling childcare and summer camps.
You might be home alone a lot with your kids and you’re not quite sure how you are going to manage the change in routine - should...
2022-07-1632 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#038 Keeping your child safe online with Jen HoeyOn today’s show I am interviewing online child safety expert and founder of Not My Kid, Jen Hoey.
Jen has personal experience of how vulnerable our children can be online so just a word of warning that this episode might not be appropriate for any little ears that may be listening. You might want to put your ear buds in as we discuss online predators and themes around sex education and adult content online.
This episode is full of great advice and practical ways you can keep your child safe online if, like me, th...
2022-07-0855 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#037 Teaching our children about consent and bodily autonomyHow can we can teach our children about consent and bodily autonomy?
How we can teach our children that they are in control of their own bodies and also how to be respectful of other people’s boundaries?
It’s never too young to start teaching our kids about consent. From the time our children are young babies we can start laying the foundations of helping our children to be aware of themselves and others.
Why is this important?
We want our children to have a strong sense of themselves, to be i...
2022-07-0239 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#036 Why getting your needs met matters and how to make it happenSo much parenting advice centres on our children. What we should do or say to make things go more smoothly, tools we can employ to get our kids cooperating or behaving in a way that will make life easier for us.
In this episode I talk about a much overlooked parenting tool - taking care of ourselves.
By focusing on ourselves, noticing what we need and finding ways to meet our needs, we can transform our parenting.
The thing is, we know how to parent well when we are feeling well rested, fulfilled...
2022-06-2526 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#035 How to gently set limits on screen timeHands up who has a battle on their hands when it comes to ending screen time?
Do you avoid setting limits on screens because you don't want to deal with the inevitable meltdown?
Do you wish your child could switch off without a massive fight?
In this episode I share some gentle ways to turn screen time conflicts into a time of connection.
So how can you turn this time of conflict into a time of connection?
Expect the upset.
Take a deep breath, remind yourself your child is a...
2022-06-1831 min
Make a Million in Menopause061 Reinventing with Group Programs- Interview with Pamela QuieryIt never stops amazing me the path some people take to get to their dream business. In this episode, Parent Coach Pamela Quiery shares her fascinating career path and how she has reinvented herself so many times. Pamela Quiery is a parent coach and mentor based in Belfast, Northern Ireland. She is a certified Hand in Hand Parenting Instructor and holds a Masters's degree in Health Promotion and Public Health. She helps parents who want to be gentle but find themselves stuck in a cycle of frustration and yelling. She loves translating...
2022-06-1639 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#034 Tooth-brushing Special: how to diffuse standoffs with the power of playI’m very excited because today I am sharing with you my magic formula for overcoming parenting standoffs using laughter and play. Specifically I’m going to be looking at teeth brushing, but this applies to many different power struggles we have with our kids.
I’ll help you understand what is going on with the power struggle dynamic, what emotions are behind it and what you can do about it.
This is one of my favourite things to talk about.
Once you understand the basics and practice a bit - you can use th...
2022-06-1038 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#033 When a child favours one parent or caregiverIt can be upsetting to deal with a child who pushes you away or prefers one parent over another.
Maybe your child has a meltdown when it's their Dad's turn to put them to bed so you end up doing bedtime every night just to keep the peace.
Or your child is in great form all day at school or childcare but their behaviour becomes unmanageable as soon as you walk through the door.
Perhaps you are a step-parent and nothing you do is good enough, you are rejected at every turn.
2022-06-0437 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#032 Stop the Parent Stress!Parenting stress is so normal in our society.
And then on top of that we tell ourselves “If only I do more, be more patient, try harder, be a better parent”.
The truth is that parenting is under-valued and under-supported.
We are so often parenting within small nuclear families instead of the supportive communities we need to meet our needs and thrive.
In this bonus episode taken from a Facebook Live I did for Hand in Hand Parenting, I talk about:
Why parenting is so hard
How to shake off stre...
2022-06-0314 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#031 Solving Bedtime and Sleep ChallengesThis week I am talking about all things bedtime and sleep.
Would you like bedtime to run more smoothly without battling to get PJs on?
Maybe you want to support your child to fall asleep more easily or without you right there in the room?
Or you are looking for gentle ways to support your child to sleep all night in their own bed?
In this episode I talk about what children need to sleep well and how you can build those essential elements into your bedtime routine.
Back...
2022-05-2851 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#030 How to have realistic expectations for your childWhat expectations should we have of our kids?
Should a 4 year old be able to tidy up themselves after an activity?
Should a 10 year old be able to shower and get dressed by themselves?
Should your 8 year old know better than to lie?
Is it helpful to have expectations at all?
This week I talk about why high expectations aren't that helpful in parenting and what you can do instead!
A child may be physically capable of dressing themselves or brushing their teeth, but you also have...
2022-05-2136 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#029 How to respond when your child says “I hate myself”Maybe it hasn't happened yet and you want to be prepared, or maybe your child has started saying "I hate myself" or similar.
It is heart-breaking for us as parents to see our children struggle. We want to help them, we want them to see through our eyes how wonderful they are.
But often our own story gets caught up in our responses and we struggle to respond in helpful ways, or we simply have no idea how to respond.
Have a listen and find out how to support your child and...
2022-05-1429 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#028 Big Picture Parenting: the why of gentle parenting and how it can change the world with Kathryn McCabeIn this week’s episode I am joined by Kathryn McCabe, social ecologist and founder and director of the Change Agency. Kathryn is passionate about creating change at a systems level and in this conversation we look at how we can change our society for the better through parenting. I invite you to check out Kathryn’s website and Facebook page.
We started this conversation in a workshop we jointly facilitated as part of the Imagine Festival of Ideas in March 2022 on how parenting can change the world. Here is the link to the replay of the full...
2022-04-291h 22
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#027 Competitive Child? How to help a sore loserDo board games with your child end in arguments and frustration?
Is everything a race to see is first and best?
Is there a lot of competition between siblings and huge upset when someone gets more than the other?
Parents often ask me - is it better to teach my child to lose or should home be a safe haven where they always get to be the winner?
Well, the answer is a bit of both and it's all about focusing on the deeper feelings driving the competitive behaviour.
In t...
2022-04-2334 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#026 The 10 minute connection-boosting parenting superpower (aka Special Time)Today I’m going to talk about a parenting tool you can use in as little as 10 minutes.
It builds connection.
It brings fun.
It’s practically guaranteed to bring laughter.
It is the glue of your relationship with your kids.
It helps with sibling rivalry, builds cooperation and helps kids overcome fears. It builds their confidence, self-control and emotional regulation.
All this in as little as 10 minutes a day.
It is a parenting superpower and it’s called Special Time.
If y...
2022-04-1649 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#025 Should we make our kids apologise or say please, thank you, excuse me?In this week’s episode I talk about whether we should make our children say sorry, please, thank you or excuse me.
We want our kids to grow up to be polite, considerate and respectful to others
We are brought up in a society that expects children to be well behaved, that judges parents (or parents feel judged) if their kids aren’t polite.
Children learn from what we do. So if we are polite, thank people when we mean it, apologise when we’re wrong, they will learn to do it too.
...
2022-04-0937 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#024 After school meltdowns and grumpiness - why they happen and how to helpDealing with a grumpy child after school can be hard work. You want to connect with them after being away from them for several hours, you want to find out how their day has gone, but instead you are met with grumpiness, aggression or meltdowns.
In this week's episode I talk about why our children struggle so much after school or childcare and what you can do to support them.
It is so important to understand what our child is trying to communicate in their difficult moments. They truly don't want to be grumpy or...
2022-04-0239 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#023 Overcoming Morning MeltdownsEver wondered how you can have more peaceful, playful mornings - without all the tantrums about getting dressed, brushing teeth and eating breakfast?
In this bonus episode from a Facebook Live I did this week for the Hand in Hand Parenting Facebook page, I show you how the Hand in Hand Parenting tools can inject connection into your days so you see more smiles instead of struggles in the mornings.
Thanks for joining me. If you’re ready to get your kids listening so you don’t have to shout, and instead you can start enjo...
2022-03-3116 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#022 How do I stop my child from whining?Whining can be one of the most annoying and frustrating things for us to deal with as parents.
It often feels like our children are doing it because they know it annoys us so much!
And once it starts it feels like nothing will solve it.
As always when our children’s behaviour is tricky, it’s good to look behind the surface behaviour.
All behaviour is communication.
It is our job to decode the signals a child is sending us.
They don’t have the cognitive skills...
2022-03-2629 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#021 Setting Limits: why gentle parenting is not permissive parentingToday I'm talking about how we can parent in a gentle and respectful way without being permissive.
It is possible to model good boundaries and limits with our children without harshness or punishments. In fact, setting limits early and often can strengthen our relationships and develop our children's emotional intelligence.
Thanks for joining me. If you’re ready to get your kids listening so you don’t have to shout, and instead you can start enjoying being a parent, then get signed up to my next virtual Peaceful Parenting Masterclass.
2022-03-1933 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#020 Why kids hit, bite, pinch or kick and what to do about itAre you struggling with your child's aggression?
Maybe it is directed towards you, a sibling or at other children in childcare or school.
We often try explaining, reading stories about "gentle hands" or punishing our children for their aggressive behaviour.
But the key to stopping aggression lies in the feelings driving the behaviour.
Find out how to support your child so they can let go of aggression.
Thanks for joining me. If you want to learn more about this approach to listening to feelings and supporting...
2022-03-1231 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#019 Five simple and unexpected ways to help your child sleep well in their own bedWhen I first became a mum, I held a cultural belief that bedsharing was wrong / dangerous etc.
After 3 days of sleep deprivation, I was bedsharing and continued to bed share for several years.
There are lots of advantages to bed-sharing
But as your child grows you might not enjoy bed sharing any more for many reasons
You can’t sleep
Child is noisy or moves around a lot
You want some personal space
You just want to say goodnight and be on your own until morning
You can transition your child to...
2022-03-0742 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#018 How to prevent our children from lying, denying, sneaking or bragging?How do we encourage our children to be honest with us?
How do we make it safe for them to come to us when they do something wrong or mess up?
How do we make sure they grow up to be adults who take responsibility for their actions?
There are lots of different types of lies
It is helpful to remember to come from a place that your child is a good kid. It they are struggling, let’s look below the surface and see why. What is driving that behaviour?...
2022-02-2530 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#017 The difference between regular play and Playlistening.This is a bonus episode from a Facebook Live I did on the main Hand in Hand Parenting Facebook page.
Today we're talking about the difference between regular play and Playlistening.
All types of play are beneficial to kids but Playlistening can support your child to offload tension, build confidence, heal from fears and feel your love.
It allows you to strengthen your relationship with your child, have fun with them, build cooperation and set limits without shame or blame.
So join me as I talk more about Playlistening and give...
2022-02-2413 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#016 Leaning in to our children’s boredomThe thing about boredom is that it is definitely not about having nothing to do. I'm sure your house is full of games and toys and things to do.
Feeling bored is a sign that your child is running low on connection.
I'm sure you have tried making suggestions of things to do. These suggestions fall flat because your child has lost their sense of connection, they aren't able to think well and they aren't able to be curious and interested in the world around them.
So what can you do?
...
2022-02-1925 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#015 How can we navigate parenting when our partner or co-parent has a very different parenting style to ourselves?What happens when your partner or co-parent has a very different parenting style to you?
Maybe they parent in ways you prefer they would not - with harshness or anger.
That can be very triggering for us.
We don’t want to undermine them but we want to protect our child.
So how do we best support our children or our partner with this?
There aren’t any two parents who parent from exactly the same page.
We have different backgrounds, upbringings and cultures.
Often we a...
2022-02-1220 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#014 How to be a more playful parent! (and how play can solve common parenting standoffs)If you feel like poking me in the eye at the thought of being more playful and spending more time playing with your children - I hear you!
As parents, we spend so much time taking care of our kids and everyone else's needs first that there is seldom time or energy left for play. I get it!
But we can learn to be playful and it pays off big time!!
Thanks for joining me. If you’re ready to get your kids listening so you don’t have to shout, and instead you...
2022-02-0531 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#013 Chores: how to raise helpful, considerate children who *want* to help outThis week I'm talking about chores and getting our kids to tidy up.
Is it worth the battle?
Will we raise selfish, entitled children if we don't make them do the chores?
Chores is certainly a loaded subject for parents.
We worry that our child will grow up to be selfish or they’ll expect others to clear up for them.
“House work” or clearing up is often seen by us as a chore, something we’d rather not do, a bother - demeaning women’s work
Instead we...
2022-01-2916 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#012 Why you’ll never “ruin” your childThis is a bonus episode from a Facebook Live I did on the main Hand in Hand Parenting Facebook page.
Have you ever doubted your gentle approach to parenting?
Ever been told that you are too soft on your kids?
Science says it’s impossible for kids to focus on our teaching moments when they are already upset or angry. It says that shouting and punishment is more likely to reinforce the difficult behavior.
Ignoring it does not make it go away, it makes it worse.
And yet parents tr...
2022-01-2718 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#011 The secret ingredient that makes homework go wellIt's already been a long day and homework is looming over you.
How do you make it a time of connection instead of a time of conflict?
In this episode I answer a listener's questions about supporting her children with homework.
Should a child be able to do homework independently or with the support of an adult?
Should one or both parents have responsibility for homework?
If a child does their homework at an after schools club, what is the role for parents?
How much homework should...
2022-01-2222 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#010 Helping our kids settle back to school or routine after the holidaysHappy new year! As we shake off the Christmas festivities and get back to the routine our kids can struggle.
Find out how we can support them with their emotional backpack at this time.
So this week we have all been emerging from the Christmas festivities and getting back to our routines
Whether that has been getting back to work and school
Or if you home educate, getting back into more of a routine again.
This is difficult for our kids.
Because often it means we’re se...
2022-01-0815 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#009 Five tips for surviving Christmas or other holidays with young childrenChristmas time or other holiday seasons can become stressful. We are often out of our normal routines and spending time with family. Our kids pick up on the excitement and stress and emotions can run high.
Here I suggest 5 ways you can make the holidays less stressful.
Thanks for joining me. If you’re ready to get your kids listening so you don’t have to shout, and instead you can start enjoying being a parent, then get signed up to my next virtual Peaceful Parenting Masterclass.
Follow me on soci...
2021-12-1823 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#008 Real life examples of how connection-based parenting worksWe need constant reminders of the power of connection and how it can turn things around with our children.
Here I share two examples of how connection at bedtime can help your child get off to sleep.
I would love to hear your stories of connection
Thanks for joining me. If you’re ready to get your kids listening so you don’t have to shout, and instead you can start enjoying being a parent, then get signed up to my next virtual Peaceful Parenting Masterclass.
Follow me on social media:
2021-12-1120 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#007 How to respond when your child is upset and shouts "Go Away!"This is something parents ask me all the time. They want to support their child and be there for them but they are met with "Leave me alone" or "Go away".
How do we respond in a way that is respectful and supportive of our children's emotions?
Thanks for joining me. If you’re ready to get your kids listening so you don’t have to shout, and instead you can start enjoying being a parent, then get signed up to my next virtual Peaceful Parenting Masterclass.
Follow me on soci...
2021-12-0421 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#006 Sibling Rivalry - 5 steps to building a strong sibling relationshipProbably every parent who has more than one child has struggled with siblings getting on with each other.
Whether that's the aggressive behaviour an older sibling can show towards a new baby or later on the competitiveness, arguments and fighting.
It can make family life very difficult.
We want our kids to get on well and develop a close relationship into their adult lives.
Here I share a few ideas of how to support siblings to get along.
Thanks for joining me. If you’re ready to get your ki...
2021-11-2725 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#005 How to respond to meltdowns and tantrums in a way that builds emotional resilienceHow should we respond to our children's big feelings in a way that is respectful and develops emotional resilience?
This is a tricky one for many parents, especially when our children pick the most difficult and inappropriate moments to have a meltdown in public or in front of family members who might not be fully on board with gentle parenting.
But it is possible to respond in a way that supports our children and builds relationship and cooperation.
If you’re ready to get your kids listening so you don’t ha...
2021-11-1925 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#004 Why I don’t tickle and what to do insteadThis is a quick episode where I share my thoughts about tickling and why tickling isn’t part of our family culture. I share my reasons, invite you to reflect on your own experiences of tickling and give you some ideas of what to do instead.
Thanks for listening. If you’re ready to get your kids listening so you don’t have to shout, and instead you can start enjoying being a parent, then get signed up to my next virtual Peaceful Parent Masterclass.
2021-11-1213 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#003 How 10 minutes of rough and tumble play can turn bedtime aroundToday I'm talking about physical play, the huge benefits it has to our kids' development and how it strengthens the parent-child relationship....all of which builds cooperation in our children.
Physical play before bedtime can help a child feel relaxed and connected enough to go to sleep more easily.
I know physical play isn't available to every parent due to physical or mental health reasons or because life is about survival right now - that is ok too, there are lots of other ways to connect with our children.
Thanks for listening, if...
2021-11-0629 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#002 A fresh approach to help our children with sharingIt can be so difficult to navigate sharing, when we have to referee our kids, enforce turns and deal with the never-ending arguments over whose turn it is.
Let me share with you how I deal with sharing in a way that builds cooperation and connection and takes you out of the policing role.
If you’re ready to get your kids listening so you don’t have to shout, and instead you can start enjoying being a parent, then get signed up to my next virtual Peaceful Parent Masterclass.
2021-10-3014 min
How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.#001 Why we get angry with our children and the secret to staying calm in the momentToday I talk about why parents get angry in the heat of the moment with their children and what you can do in the moment when you feel the anger rising in you.
This is a re-record of the very first episode of the podcast. The sound quality is poor in the original but it is such a great topic so I wanted to put it out there again in better quality.
And we need to hear this information over and over again because in the heat of the moment we can't think well and af...
2021-10-2321 min
Living a Life Well FedEpisode 1:27 ~ Season One Complete, New Interviews Coming SoonSeason 1 of Living a Life Well Fed is complete, but we have exciting new episodes coming soon as part of our Women Creating Wealth ~ 10K in 10 Days Challenge!
Sign up via the link below to ensure you don't miss a thing:
https://mailchi.mp/359ee3e38d94/money-party-10k-in-10-days-challenge-well-fed-photography
And, as for our first season of the Living a Life Well Fed podcast, it was an absolute joy and a pleasure to sit down and chat with all of our guests.
We send a massive thank you to our guests a...
2021-09-1801 min
Living a Life Well FedEpisode 1:24 ~ Is Homeschooling Right for You & Your Family?With school out for the summer, this may be a time when many of you are considering alternative options for your children's education.
In this week’s episode of Living a Life Well Fed, parenting coach, Pamela Quiery, chats with us about her family’s decision to homeschool after last year’s lockdowns.
Pamela answers the most frequently asked questions when it comes to all things homeschooling - including the structure of their day, their philosophy towards learning, hidden costs, how much choice Pamela's daughter has when it comes to the curriculum, maths, and socialisation.
...
2021-07-3045 min
Living a Life Well FedEpisode 1:21 ~ Childhood Anger and Aggression with Pamela QuieryThis week we are delighted to have Pamela Quiery, Certified Instructor of Hand-in-Hand Parenting, back on Living a Life Well Fed with us.
In this episode, Pamela and Ariana chat about childhood anger and aggression as expressed in play and in everyday life.
Pamela reviews the foundations of Hand-in-Hand Parenting (also available in Episode 1) and explains how they can be used when met with challenging situations involving anger.
Throughout the interview, Pamela offers encouragement to parents while teaching them how to better connect with their children and manage their own big emotions!
2021-07-081h 08
Living a Life Well FedEpisode 1:1 ~ Pamela Quiery of Hand in Hand Parenting
In our first Interview for Living a Life Well Fed, Ariana speaks with Pamela Quiery - a certified Hand in Hand Parenting Instructor that has been practicing Hand in Hand Parenting for over 5 years.
Hand in Hand Parenting is all about giving parents the support and practical tools they need to be peaceful and respectful leaders in their families.
Pamela provides online classes, talks, and also offers one-to-one support to parents.
Building community is important to her so she hopes to get back to providing in-person classes in her local community whenever that becomes possible again.
She is based in Bel...
2021-03-0150 min