Shows
Unapologetically Sensitive254 Annoyance & Acceptance: Managing Emotions in FriendshipsAnnoyance & Acceptance: Managing Emotions in Friendships Jen and Patricia discuss the importance of naming and accepting emotions, including annoyance, as well as the challenges of communication and managing expectations in their friendship. They share personal experiences and strategies for navigating difficult feelings, emphasizing the value of patience and trust in their conversations. They discuss concepts like nonviolent communication and the impact of attachment wounds on relationships. CO-HOST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC HIGHLIGHTS Summary Patricia and Jen discuss their recent experiences wit...
2024-07-3046 minUnapologetically Sensitive252 Navigating Reconnection after Rupture: Messiness is a Healthy Part of Relationships Navigating Reconnection after Rupture: Messiness Is a Healthy Part of Relationships Patricia and Jen discuss the challenges of reconnecting after a rupture in their relationship. They explore the fear of not being able to get back to normal and the desire for rupture and repair in significant relationships. They also discuss the importance of authenticity, setting boundaries, and being clear about needs and expectations. They touch on topics such as OCD, panic attacks, and the process of growth and transformation. CO-HOST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC ...
2024-07-1654 minUnapologetically Sensitive250 Anger & Attachment: Navigating Different Neurotypes Within a Relationship Anger and Attachment: Navigating Different Neurotypes Within a Relationship Patricia and Jen explore the dynamics of attachment injuries, ADHD, and autism within their friendship. They explore the challenges of communication, time orientation, and emotional regulation. They touch on the concept of platonic life partnership and the challenges navigating different attachment styles and the impact of past trauma on present interactions. They discuss the importance of setting expectations, creating safe containers for communication, and validating each other's emotions. CO-HOST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC HIGHLIGHTS Summary...
2024-07-0255 minUnapologetically Sensitive247 Attachment: Self-Compassion, Recognizing & Healing Unblended Parts Attachment: Self-Compassion, Recognizing & Healing Unblended Parts Patricia and Jen discuss their personal experiences with attachment injuries and how it affects their relationship. They explore the challenges of communication and the impact of past traumas. Patricia shares insights from her recovery journey, drawing parallels between her eating disorder and her attachment struggles. They emphasize the importance of self-compassion and understanding in navigating these complex dynamics. The conversation concludes with a discussion on the value of conflict and the importance of welcoming all parts of ourselves. CO-HOST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LP...
2024-06-1142 minUnapologetically Sensitive245 Expansion and Contraction: Honoring Your Rhythms Expansion and Contraction: Honoring Your Rhythms In this conversation, Patricia and Jen discuss their personal experiences with stress, burnout, and the challenges of navigating relationships. They explore the importance of self-compassion, the need for rest and downtime, and the impact of attachment wounds on their interactions. They also touch on the concept of Internal Family Systems (IFS) and the role of the 'self' in healing and growth. CO-HOST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC HIGHLIGHTS Summary Jen and Patricia discuss stress, self-care, and finding joy...
2024-05-2838 minUnapologetically Sensitive244 Managing Expectations: Showing Up For Yourself During Hard Times Managing Expectations: Showing Up for Yourself During Hard Times Jen and Patricia discuss attachment wounds in their friendship. They explore the importance of self-awareness, setting boundaries, and managing expectations. They highlight the need for compassion & understanding when dealing with attachment issues & emphasize the ongoing work of healing & growth. In this conversation, Patricia shares her recent experiences with conflict & how she navigated this. She discusses the importance of leaning into difficult emotions and listening to others without defensiveness. CO-HOST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC HIGHLIGHTS ...
2024-05-2143 minUnapologetically Sensitive243 Attachment Wounds: OCD, Projection, Managing Dysregulation Attachment Wounds: OCD, Projection, Managing Dysregulation Patricia candidly discusses her experiences with attachment wounds, OCD tendencies, projection and trauma responses with Jen, and how this is showing up in their relationship. Patricia shares what her OCD thoughts tend to look like. Through introspection and vulnerability, Patricia reflects on the impact of past traumas on her emotional well-being. Their dialogue underscores the importance of self-awareness, self-care, and resilience in healing from attachment-related struggles. CO-HOST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC HIGHLIGHTS Summary In thi...
2024-05-1438 minUnapologetically Sensitive242 Attachment Wounds: A Follow Up Conversation Attachment Wounds: A Follow Up Conversation Jen and Patricia reflect on their recent challenge (see episode 241), and they discuss the importance of taking responsibility for their own needs and emotions. They explore the impact of attachment wounds and the challenges of navigating relationships. They talk about what trauma and reenactment looks like in a relationship. They also discuss the need for self-care and the importance of managing expectations. This is a very vulnerable and open conversation. CO-HOST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC HIGHLIGHTS Sum...
2024-05-0751 minUnapologetically Sensitive240 Navigating Grief, Uncertainty & Travel Through the Lens of Attachment Navigating Grief, Uncertainty & Travel Through the Lens of Attachment Patricia and Jen discuss navigating uncertainty and overwhelm, managing change and unexpected situations, balancing personal needs, the power of communication and validation, finding meaning and value in relationships, coping with anxiety and catastrophic thinking, choosing to assume the best, managing energy and boundaries, secure attachment and autonomy, dealing with uncertainty and seeking information, taking care of yourself in travel. They also reflect on their friendship CO-HOST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC HIGHLIGHTS Summary Patricia an...
2024-04-2345 minUnapologetically Sensitive237 Unmasking & Authentic Communication: Navigating Differences in Relationships Unmasking & Authentic Communication: Navigating Differences in Relationships Patricia and Jen discuss the challenges of unmasking and being authentic in relationships including the role of PDA (Pervasive Drive for Autonomy). They explore the narratives we have about ourselves and how they can impact our interactions with others. They also delve into the differences in communication styles and perspectives, and the importance of embracing who we are. The conversation highlights the need to navigate personal dynamics and self-reflection in order to foster understanding and growth. CO-HOST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC...
2024-04-0243 minUnapologetically Sensitive236 Exploring Neurodivergence in Relationships: Understanding Unique Perspectives Exploring Neurodivergence in Relationships: Understanding Unique Perspectives In this conversation, Patricia and Jen discuss their struggles with linear content and their values of focusing on relational topics. They explore the challenges of staying true to their authentic selves while creating content. The conversation also delves into the dynamics of their relationship and the growth they have experienced in building trust and security, and things they sometimes find difficult to discuss. CO-HOST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC HIGHLIGHTS Takeaways Staying true...
2024-03-2637 minUnapologetically Sensitive234 Navigating Miscommunication and Misunderstanding Navigating Miscommunication and Misunderstanding Jen helps me process through a communication blip I had with my son. My husband & I have very different styles when talking to our boys, & I felt inadequate, and I sometimes struggle to attune. We talk about context when communicating, projection, who is a safe person to get angry at, & I talk about my own reactivity and confusion at my reaction. Jen reminds me that my family sticks with hard conversations. We also talk about having neuro-normative standards, & how that constantly leads to disappointment. CO-HOST Je...
2024-03-1238 minUnapologetically Sensitive232 The Importance of Rest & Learning to Receive & Ask for Help The Importance of Rest & Learning to Receive & Ask for Help Patricia and Jen discuss their health updates and the challenges they have faced. They also delve into the pressure to be productive and the fear of not functioning. The conversation shifts to vulnerability and insecurity in relationships, as well as the process of learning to receive and ask for help. They reflect on the growth and healing that comes from navigating attachment wounds. The conversation concludes with a discussion on the significance of not always having to do deep work in therapy.
2024-02-2737 minUnapologetically Sensitive230 Exploring Identity, and Turning Toward Yourself in Affirming Ways Exploring Identity, and Turning Toward Yourself in Affirming Ways Jen and I touch on so much in this episode: challenges setting boundaries; structure vs. the need for novelty (ADHD vs. autism), attachment injuries and bids for connection; the challenges and gifts of hard conversations; what neuro-affirming therapy looks like; PDA and focusing on others to reduce demands; masking; what comes up when someone suspects they are autistic or are recently diagnosed. CO-HOST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC HIGHLIGHTS Summary In this con...
2024-02-1337 minUnapologetically Sensitive229 Real Talk on Health Challenges: Speaking FOR Your Parts vs. Speaking FROM Your Parts Real Talk on Health Challenges: Speaking FOR Your Parts vs. Speaking FROM Your Parts Jen and I talk about the difference between complaining, speaking honestly about what's going on, and the other person's capacity to sit with things that they may feel they need to fix or change. Many of you have been told that you complain too much or that you're too negative. Neurodivergent brains tend to report the truth, and we are very discerning about what we like and what we don't like. This can be perceived as negativity, complaining or being depressing t...
2024-02-0648 minUnapologetically Sensitive227 Attachment Injuries, Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Self-Care Attachment Injuries, Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Self-Care Jen and I discuss attachment wounds and using an Internal Family Systems (IFS) framework. We talk about the difference of speaking for our parts vs. speaking from our parts. We talk about overperformance, the pressure to show up and masking, and the importance of feeling seen and heard in relationships. We talk about unpacking an autism diagnosis and reviewing life through the lens of autism. We also emphasize embracing imperfection and practicing self-care and self-compassion. CO-HOST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC ...
2024-01-2344 minUnapologetically Sensitive226 The Power of Showing Up: Embracing Imperfection and Struggles with PDA and RSD The Power of Showing Up: Embracing Imperfection and Struggles with PDA and RSD Jen and I discuss our struggles with showing up and doing life even when it's hard. We model grace and vulnerability, reminding you that it's okay to not have it all together. The conversation touches on topics such as PDA, rejection-sensitive dysphoria RSD, and the pressure of gift-giving. We also discuss the importance of communication and staying connected, even when feeling tired or overwhelmed. This episode is helpful for anyone who may be struggling. CO-HOST Jen Pe...
2024-01-1642 minUnapologetically Sensitive223 Neurodivergent Insights: Navigating ADHD, Autism, PDA and Communication Neurodivergent Insights: Navigating ADHD, Autism, PDA, and Communication Jen and I discuss the challenges of living with ADHD, Autism and PDA, including communication difficulties and perception of reality. We talk about how these show up for us differently, and how we navigate some of the challenges. I also share about disclosing to my MD about being autistic, and how that was received. We also talk about the difficulty of the holidays for some, and some end of year reflections that may (or may not be) helpful. CO-HOST Jen Perry, MS...
2023-12-2645 minUnapologetically Sensitive222 Redinfining Success for the Neurodivergent Redefining Success for the Neurodivergent Jen and I discuss the concept of success and how it is often measured by neurotypical norms. We challenge these measures, and explore alternative ways to define and measure success for the neurodivergent. We emphasize the importance of authenticity, having hard conversations, and embracing imperfection. We also discuss the value of uncertainty and not knowing, and how it can lead to creativity and growth. We invite you to redefine success on your own terms and find joy and fulfillment in your own unique journeys. it. CO-HOST...
2023-12-1942 minUnapologetically Sensitive220 Navigating Competing Needs in a Relationship Navigating Competing Needs in a Relationship Jen & I talk about having competing needs while I was visiting her, and what came up for me, and how we navigated having uncomfortable feelings. We look at this through the lens of neurodivergence (Autism, HSP, ADHD and PDA). We also explore the difficulty I had as a neurodivergent person assessing if I had a good time on the trip or not. We also look at where we blended well and what we will do differently next time. CO-HOST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC HIGHLIGHTS
2023-12-0547 minUnapologetically Sensitive218 Navigating Change: How to Stay True to Yourself While Traveling Navigating Change: How to Stay True to Yourself While Traveling Travelling and being a guest in someone's home can be challenging due to change: adjusting to new routines, and being out of your routine. I spend a week with Jen, and we talk about checking in with each other, and my need for structure, and Jen's lack of structure. We talk about structure vs. flexibility, and as an autistic, how do I honor how I'm wired and still go with the flow? We focus heavily on self-care and compassion. I also offer tips for travelling and packing...
2023-11-2143 minUnapologetically Sensitive217 Navigating Executive Dysfunction: Managing Busy Minds Navigating Executive Dysfunction: Managing Busy Minds Managing appointments, schedules and life can be challenging when you've got ADHD, AuDHD, or simply challenges with executive functioning. Jen and I talk about our struggles and the things that work for us. We talk about what may be more neuroaffirming. We also talk about the challenges of getting advice, or working with someone who doesn't understand neurodiversity. For example: being told to try silent meditation, but that may not work when you've got a busy brain. Moving meditation may be a better fit. CO-HOST Jen Perry...
2023-11-1443 minUnapologetically Sensitive215 Neurodivergence & Autsim: Navigating Challenges in Relationships Neurodivergence & Autism: Navigating Challenges in Relationships We explore the challenges of maintaining friendships for people who are neurodivergent (AuDHD, autistic, HSP etc.) We emphasize the importance of emotional intelligence, empathy, active listening, open communication, patience, setting boundaries, and forgiveness in building and maintaining meaningful relationships. CO-HOST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC HIGHLIGHTS · An autism diagnosis means that sometimes one may have challenges in maintaining friendships – · Some people may struggle with making friends, while others may struggle with maintaining relationships (or people may struggle with both). · Experiencing feelings of hurt...
2023-10-3148 minUnapologetically Sensitive213 Autism, Relationships & PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance or Pervasive Drive for Autonomy Autism, Relationships & PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance or Pervasive Drive for Autonomy The challenges people have maintaining relationships can be related to relational trauma, PDA, the desire for consistency and/or adherence to high or unrealistic expectations. PDA is a profile of autism, and people with PDA may have no problem making friends, but they may have difficulty keeping them. Can someone who is autistic become more flexible and lower their expectations if they want to? What elements are needed in relationships to accommodate for neurodivergence? CO-HOST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC H...
2023-10-1747 minUnapologetically Sensitive210 Not Feeling Good Enough: Self-Criticism, Healing and Vulnerability Not Feeling Good Enough: Self-Criticism, Healing and Vulnerability We talk about the origins of feeling not good enough, and even if you understand why you feel this way, you still may be stuck. At the end, Jen and I have a tearful moment that is bursting with vulnerability sharing something we have never talked about before. We talk about our own rigidity, inflexibility and having high expectations for others. We explore the power of naming what is going on in the moment, even when it may not be pretty, but it can be extremely powerful. C...
2023-09-2652 minUnapologetically Sensitive207 Empowerment in Vulnerability: Becoming the Heroine of Your Story Empowerment in Vulnerability: Becoming the Heroine of Your Story This episode includes wanting people to intuit what you want without having to ask; struggling with having to ask for what you want; not being chosen, and how to turn this around; identifying who your people are; assessing what others have to offer in relationships instead of assuming that you're the one with the deficits. We also talk about how to have compassion for where you're at, and the gifts of doing healing work. CO-HOST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC HIGHLIGHTS...
2023-09-0544 minUnapologetically Sensitive206 Expressing Feelings when Systems Fail and Frustrate Us Expressing Feelings When Systems Fail and Frustrate Us I had a meltdown after reaching my frustration limit. Jen & I discuss how to discharge frustration, while navigating inefficient systems. What prevents us from speaking up, and our concern about how we are perceived. How to advocate for yourself, and get support from others, especially when you're dysregulated. How do you stay grounded and focused on getting your needs met when things are breaking down? We also discuss how much healing we've done in our friendship, and how setting boundaries builds trust. CO-HOST Jen Perry...
2023-08-2940 minUnapologetically Sensitive205 Navigating Neurodiversity: The Struggle to Figure out the Rules Navigating Neurodiversity: The Struggle to Figure out the Rules We discuss the importance of emotional intelligence, & allowing oneself to feel the full range of emotions. We talk about the struggle to figure out what the unspoken expectations are. We talk about how neurodivergent brains process information compared to neurotypical brains, as well as communication styles that may be more effective. If you're neurodivergent (HSP, autistic, ADHD etc.), being around others who also have high emotional intelligence may create more intimacy and understanding in your life. CO-HOST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC H...
2023-08-2255 minUnapologetically Sensitive203 Regulating your Nervous System: Setting Boundaries, and Self-Care while Travelling Regulating your Nervous System: Setting Boundaries and Self-Care while Travelling On a Saturday, I decided to fly to Philadelphia the next day. This episode addresses travelling considerations when you're neurodivergent. I had to set some boundaries and I also had to implement a lot of self-care. We talk about strategies for travelling, and how to anticipate, prepare, execute, and communicate your needs. We talk about non-violent communication, frequent check-ins, how to adjust if you need structure, and ways to regulate your nervous system. CO-HOST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC HIGHLIGHTS
2023-08-0845 minUnapologetically Sensitive200 The Art of Boundary Setting: Nurturing Authentic Relationships The Art of Boundary-Setting: Nurturing Authentic Relationships Establishing boundaries can foster deeper connections by allowing us to remain authentic and present. You might feel dysregulated, and/or guilty when you set a boundary. Not all relationships will be close, and not all relationships are meant to last for years. There are also seasons in relationships. When we're genuine in our interactions, we create a space for trust and openness to grow. However, it's essential to remember that creating these connections requires vulnerability. GUEST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC HIGHLIGHTS ...
2023-07-1832 minUnapologetically Sensitive199 Words Matter: Claiming Identity Through Inclusive Language Words Matter: Claiming Identity Through Inclusive Language Co-regulation does not mean that you will feel calm. It's about attunement and being present with you in the moment. We challenge negative biases and stereotypes about neurodivergence, such as the idea that being pedantic is always negative. We discuss the importance of using non-judgmental language when speaking to someone about their experiences, especially when it comes to gender identity and pronouns. We also talk about the difficulty some may have differentiating the different types of friendships. CO-HOST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC HIGHLIGHTS
2023-07-1145 minUnapologetically Sensitive198 Neurodivergent Considerations when Nurturing Authentic Relationships Neurodivergent Considerations when Nurturing Authentic Relationships Are you struggling with self-monitoring and communication? We dive into some of the challenges faced by neurodivergent folks. Discover the power of authenticity and direct communication for neurodivergents. Explore practical strategies to navigate challenges, set boundaries and forge meaningful relationships. Learn practical tools for practicing self-care, and deeper connections. Embrace vulnerability and create genuine connections. GUEST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC HIGHLIGHTS Embrace authenticity to be present with resistance, anxiety, and finding your voice. Recognize the vital role of consent, autonomy, and communication within r...
2023-07-0440 minUnapologetically Sensitive197 Unlocking Your Voice: Strategies for Assertiveness and Connection Unlocking Your Voice: Strategies for Assertiveness and Connection We explore managing expectations, and the innate need for feeling seen and heard. You'll learn techniques to regulate expectations, express personal requirements, and foster authentic connections. We emphasize the importance of vulnerability, empathetic listening, and setting healthy boundaries. We also provide insights into the challenges faced by neurodivergent individuals and offer strategies to overcome them. GUEST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC HIGHLIGHTS In this episode, you will be able to: · Learn techniques to regulate expectations and verbalize personal requirements in relati...
2023-06-2743 minUnapologetically Sensitive195 Healing & Connection: Finding Your People Amidst the Storm Healing & Connection: Finding Your People Amidst the Storm We talk about honoring your neurodivergence, and bringing in self-compassion when you're having a hard time connecting with your strengths and gifts. We talk about having unrealistic expectations in friendships, and the fear of rejection if you ask for what you want. How do you recognize where you do have control of yourself, and how do you learn to embrace uncertainty? We talk about the challenges with setting boundaries, and identifying who honors your boundaries. GUEST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC HIGHLIGHTS
2023-06-1342 minUnapologetically Sensitive194 Distorted Self-Image: Internalizing How You Are Positively Reflected Distorted Self-Image; Internalizing How You are Positively Reflected How can you internalize the positive ways others see you in order to shift your distorted self-perception? How do you nurture secure attachments? What prevents you from having intimate relationships with others? Jen and I talk about what it was like for her to come to CA, and for us to meet in person for the first time in our 5-year friendship. We explore our fears, & how this shifted our relationship. We also explore ways to savor connection. GUEST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC
2023-06-0637 minUnapologetically Sensitive193 Embracing Vulnerability and Setting Boundaries for Deeper Connection Embracing Vulnerability and Setting Boundaries for Deeper Connection Vulnerability can be an uncomfortable but empowering experience, resulting in stronger connections with others and increased emotional resilience. If you crave meaningful connections, you must allow yourself to be vulnerable, even when it feels uncomfortable. When setting boundaries, we often deal with a part that feels very young and disempowered. We forget we are grown *ss adults. We talk about specific tools and ways to regulate uncomfortable feelings and practice speaking your truth. GUEST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC HIGHLIGHTS · Reach out fo...
2023-05-3036 minUnapologetically Sensitive192 Managing Stress Reactions through Self Care Managing Stress Reactions through Self-Care How do you manage stress reactions—especially when you struggle to set boundaries? Sometimes it can be difficult to assert your needs. I share a story of risking looking like that person in my own home. We talk about the importance of understanding what you are willing to tolerate in relationships and what might come up if you struggle to set boundaries. We also talk about the intimacy that develop when we are able to risk and be vulnerable with those we love. GUEST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LP...
2023-05-2330 minUnapologetically Sensitive191 Managing Dysregulation with Compassion and Mindfulness Managing Dysregulation with Compassion & Mindfulness In this episode, you will be able to: 1. Learn the importance of honoring your personal needs and setting boundaries to maintain your emotional well-being. 2. Recognize the impact of differentiating past traumas from present experiences to feel more empowered. 3. The importance of cultivating authentic connections through vulnerability and empathetic listening. 4. Uncover some tools for healing through journaling, meditation, and IFS. GUEST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC HIGHLIGHTS The resources mentioned in this episode are: Practice self-awareness and tune into your feelings and needs, especially...
2023-05-1628 minUnapologetically Sensitive190 The Power of Speaking Up; Boundary-Setting in Therapy and Beyond The Power of Speaking Up; Boundary-Setting in Therapy and Beyond How do you navigate ruptures in therapy if the therapist overshares, or does not meet your needs? Rupture and repair are possible. Are there ways to self-disclose in appropriate ways that benefit the client? We share a vignette about therapeutic rupture. As a client, do you know how to bring up concerns to your therapist? As a therapist, are you creating safety for your clients, so they know that you welcome their feedback? If done skillfully, repair work can create a stronger therapeutic bond, and more intimacy.
2023-05-0938 minUnapologetically Sensitive181 Self Advocacy and Needing Help Self-Advocacy and Needing Help Why is it taboo to talk about certain subjects? Our shared experiences need to be normalized and validated. Jen and I discuss some health issues we're experiencing, and how it can be difficult to ask for help, especially when we've been let down or shamed in the past. We also discussed the importance of advocating for ourselves in the medical system. Finally, we discussed that even though it can be scary to talk about things, it is important to recognize our needs and make sure we have the support we need. ...
2023-03-0730 minUnapologetically Sensitive180 It's OK to be Human; Finding Humor and Acceptance in Imperfection It's ok to be Human: Finding Humor and Acceptance in Imperfection How do you create a balance between embarrassment and humor, and learning how to be open and honest about your humanity, your body, and your experiences? How can you recognize when dominant groups are trying to make you feel inadequate for how you show up in the world? How can you learn from your experiences and foster a growth mindset instead of a fixed one? Embracing our imperfections can be a way to accept and honor our humanity. We discuss how cancel culture can lead to...
2023-02-2831 minUnapologetically Sensitive179 Joyful Movement: How to Tune In To What You Need Joyful Movement: How to Tune In To What You Need Find what works for you and let your heart, your body, and your muscles guide you. Move your body because it's delicious and it feels good, not because you're trying to outrun something. Jen and I discuss how you can learn to tune into what you need and to set goals that are manageable to succeed. We also talk about how to navigate the gremlins that tell you that you're not doing enough. We explore the value of resistance, and the challenge of discerning when to push...
2023-02-2130 minUnapologetically Sensitive178 Are these Signs of Emotional Unavailability? Are these Signs of Emotional Unavailability? Is being a people pleaser, a chronic rescuer, and a chronic over giver an indicator that you are emotionally unavailable? Jen and I look at this through the lens of neurodivergence, reframing, trauma, attachment, reframing, development and context in order to have a rich conversation about our thoughts. We talk about vulnerability, reciprocity, identifying your own needs and wants, as well as your level of satisfaction in the relationship. GUEST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC GUEST BIO Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC has b...
2023-02-1440 minUnapologetically Sensitive177 Is it about You or Them?Is it about You or Them? How can you use your sensitivity as a strength to create deeper intimacy and understanding in your relationships? We examine the nuances and complexities when a sensitive person's need or wound is met with unkindness, and how to reframe that as a strength. We discuss how to communicate with compassion and vulnerability when we have something that needs to be addressed. We also identified the tendency to make things right or wrong, and how our language shapes our reality. GUEST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC ...
2023-02-0739 minUnapologetically Sensitive176 Attachment Wounds and How They Show UPAttachment Wounds and How They Show Up Why do you have attachment wounds, and what do they look like? How do you know when you're activated and struggling with attachment wounds? We talk about tools to use when you're activated, and we normalize that you ARE going to get activated! At the end, I provide a gentle sound bath of affirmations to affirm that you're supposed to have needs, and that you are precious and loveable. GUEST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC GUEST BIO Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC...
2023-01-3130 minUnapologetically Sensitive175 When People Don't Really "Get" YouWhen People Don't Really Get You How do you determine how much to share in relationships? What do you do if you are vulnerable, and you are met with defensiveness, annoyance or rejection? How do you assess if the other person values authenticity, vulnerability and honesty? Jen and I talk about the skills and qualities you may want in a close relationship, and how to assess if they are present. We also talk about the gremlins that may come up when you are not met with acceptance, and how you can navigate the discomfort. GUEST
2023-01-2435 minUnapologetically Sensitive174 How to Support Someone with Attachment InjuriesHow to Support Someone with Attachment Injuries How do you to someone when their attachment wounds are present without self-defensiveness, or feeling that you did something wrong? How do you learn to deeply listen without your own bias or agenda? What are the barriers that come up that prevent you from being present for someone else? How do you make space for each other's young parts? Jen and I talk about this, and we give some ways to start learning to practice doing this. GUEST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC
2023-01-1733 minUnapologetically Sensitive171 Ways to Reset for New BeginningsWays to Reset for New Beginnings Jen and I share our strong feelings about New Year's Resolutions. We talk about other tools you can use to set intentions indicating what you might want more or less of in your life. We talk about how perfectionism can create barriers to self-compassion. We explore how mindfulness and getting curious can guide you towards what you may be longing for. We also talk about how to have corrective experiences that help heal the messages you may have gotten about being too much, or too intense, or too dramatic. ...
2022-12-2736 minUnapologetically Sensitive169 Is it Harder to be in a Relationship with a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)?Is it Harder to be in a Relationship with a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)? We look at Orchid Theory and Differential Susceptibility and we talk about attachment. Can an HSP be in a healthy relationship with a non HSP? Some HSPs choose not to be in relationships. We talk about attunement, self-compassion, wounding, perfectionism, as well as misperception, misunderstanding, and the lack of ability to see more than one perspective. We also talk about existential loneliness, feeling othered and different, and how this can impact a relationship. GUEST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC
2022-12-1336 minUnapologetically Sensitive167 We're Wounded and Healed in RelationshipWe're Wounded & Healed in Relationship Jen and I have a very candid and vulnerable discussion about some attachment injuries that came up in our relationship. We talk about how we often overfunction and overperform in relationships. I talk about the fears that come up if I am not always giving—it involves being called selfish and fearing that Jen will leave if I don't do enough. We talk about using compassionate presence, safety and trust. We also talk about how intimacy can bring up feelings of loss. GUEST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC
2022-11-2936 minUnapologetically Sensitive166 Compassion for the Symphony of your GremlinsCompassion for the Symphony of Your Gremlins Jen shares what she calls her symphony of gremlins, and she looks at it through the lens of Internal Family Systems (IFS). We talk about how resistance and fear are part of the process, and how the use of Self energy and compassion and wisdom can help to create distance from the gremlins. We talk about language to use when someone is hurting, and you might not know what to say. We talk about attachment (when you internalize a loving & comforting voice), and how this can be a part of...
2022-11-2237 minUnapologetically Sensitive165 Self Care When People are Angry and ReactiveSelf-Care When People are Angry and Reactive This is a follow up to episode 161. How do you re-center on yourself and your experience when someone else has a different perspective? This is an emotional and vulnerable episode I. talk about crying when I'm angry, and what I did when I had intrusive thoughts, and how I created safety and asked for support. I also had several trauma responses (fawning—apologizing), and I didn't even realize it for almost a month. This is a powerful episode about healing, and walking through fear and feeling disempowered. GUEST...
2022-11-1543 minUnapologetically Sensitive164 What do You tell Yourself about Your Feelings?What Do You Tell Yourself About Your Feelings? The language that you use to describe what you're feeling and experiencing matters. When do you process feelings, and when do you hold off? Do you feel guilty for resting, or do you feel like you're not doing enough? Your gift as a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) is your presence and being, which is harder to measure than being productive. Jen talks about Gabor Mate, and we talk about what is necessary for creativity and emergent play (play without purpose). GUEST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, L...
2022-11-0836 minUnapologetically Sensitive163 Are You the Giver or the GiveeAre You the Giver or the Givee? Are you skilled at knowing how to show up for other people and meeting their needs? Do you allow others to be there for you? Are your relationships reciprocal? Jen and I talk about the gifts that come from deep connection, vulnerability, and allowing others to be there for you. We also talk about wanting to do it yourself, and not wanting to bother others and how this may be related to not having the support you needed previously. Not having your needs met may make you feel angry, hurt, o...
2022-11-0131 minUnapologetically Sensitive162 Rumbling with your Self-Worth and ValueRumbling with Your Self-Worth and Value What are you longing for? Is it to be heard, seen, understood, appreciated, valued? When you get what you're wanting, can you take it in, or do you minimize it? Do you compare your life to others' and feel like everyone else has their shirt together? Sometimes as a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), you may feel shame when you either acknowledge your need/want, or when you actually get that need/want met. How does attachment play into this? GUEST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC ...
2022-10-2533 minUnapologetically SensitiveResponding When Someone Has Been HurtfulResponding When Someone Has Been Hurtful Managing anger, hurt, and frustration when someone has communicated unkindly can be hard for the Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). Do you say something? Do you suck it up because it can be dysregulating having a difficult conversation? Many HSPs tell me that they don't know what to say in these situations. I went into a fawn response. Many of you have been gaslit and told that you're making a big deal. This can make it hard to trust that your feelings are valid and that you have a right to voice...
2022-10-1842 minUnapologetically Sensitive157 Adjusting to Unexpected Bumps with Jen PerryAdjusting to Unexpected Bumps Do you expect that you will handle things with grace and ease, and you get angry at yourself (or others) when you don't? What if being out of balance was to be expected? Jen and I talk about looking at the larger context when we don't respond the way we'd like. We talk about what may help you respond vs. react. We talk about the use of compassion, humility, and transparency when you are struggling. I talk about a series of events that happened before we recorded, and my response. GUEST
2022-09-2036 minUnapologetically Sensitive155 Managing Emotional & Physical Dysregulation with Jen PerryManaging Emotional and Physical Dysregulation Jen and I both got triggered, and Jen talks about what it felt like physically to be dysregulated. She talks about the wound of "Is it safe to be me? Will I be rejected?" and how she worked with those parts. Jen shares 13 things she did to be present for herself and help calm her nervous system. Jen also has a beautiful reframe of "Why is this happening FOR me?" instead of "Why is this happening TO me?" Great episode for when you feel like you're too much, too needy and you're st...
2022-09-0644 minUnapologetically Sensitive154 Tools to Manage During Hard Times with Jen PerryMany people are feeling tired these days! In spite of the mess in the world, Jen and I talk about ways to find joy, pleasure, connection, AND honor the big feels. We provide resources for activism, support and validation as well as things you can do to help self-regulate. GUEST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC GUEST BIO Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC has been a psychotherapist for 20 years. She specializes in helping Highly Sensitive People thrive in love, work, and parenting Highly Sensitive Children. Jen is passionate about using mindfulness and c...
2022-08-3041 minUnapologetically Sensitive152 Let's Talk About Small Talk, With Jen PerryLet's Talk About Small Talk There may be more to the concept of small talk; even if the words small talk make you cringe. Jen and I talk about reciprocity in conversation. Is the topic interesting to you? Is this a one-way conversation? What messages do you tell yourself if you're feeling bored, or you're too tired to make the conversation work? We each give specific examples of how this shows up for us, and we talk about learning to be secure in your own attachment, and feeling comfortable wherever you are because YOU are there.
2022-08-1637 minUnapologetically Sensitive151 Managing Criticism and Disappointment, With Jen PerryManaging Criticism and Disappointment It's not uncommon for the Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) to have big reactions and big feelings sometimes—especially when it comes to feeling misunderstood, feeling criticized, and feeling disappointed. Jen talks about how you can use mindfulness to get curious about the stories you tell yourself. We both share stories where we each experience this, and how we navigate through it. The goal is to expect that as humans, we will experience intense feelings sometimes. GUEST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC GUEST BIO Jen Perry, MSE...
2022-08-0931 minUnapologetically Sensitive149 Can Dogs Learn to Talk? With Jen PerryCan Dogs Learn to Talk? Maizy (my puppy) is learning to press buttons to tell me what she wants, and how she is feeling! I share how we got started, and I give resources for other pets that are using buttons, and how you can get started. Jen and I talk about attuning to your animals, and how this relates to our reålationships with people. We talk about how Maizy has generalized the use of words that we haven't modeled. GUEST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC GUEST BIO Je...
2022-07-2639 minUnapologetically Sensitive148 Self-Care When You're Overwhelmed, With Jen PerrySelf-Care When You're Overwhelmed It can be hard to start tasks and complete them when you're overwhelmed. Jen and I talk about strategies that work for us. We also talk about the importance of pleasure and rest vs. having to do all the hard stuff before you treat yourself to a reward. Jen talks about looking at who's telling the story when you have a gremlin (I started the episode feeling I was being bossy and controlling), and about looking at what the need is behind an annoying or distracting behavior. GUEST Jen Per...
2022-07-1928 minUnapologetically Sensitive146 Showing Up Messy, With Jen PerryShowing up Messy When you have high standards for yourself, it can be very difficult to show up imperfectly, and it's easy to go into self-blame. Unfortunately, this usually comes at a cost. Jen and I talk about how to make the shift from focusing on external expectations (and fear of judgment), to focusing internally on what you want and what you are able to give. We talk about the gifts of self-compassion, vulnerability, deep connection, and focusing on the relationship instead of unrealistic high standards. GUEST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC
2022-07-0537 minUnapologetically SensitiveOverwhelm Perfectionism as a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) with Jen PerryOverwhelm & Perfectionism as a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) Do you wake up with anxiety because you're worried or feeling overwhelmed? How do you find joy around your to do list? Jen and I talk about where we feel overwhelmed, and the imperfect ways we manage perfectionism. Jen says it's like stringing beads with no knot at the end. We explore how trauma may impact our need for piles, being a minimalist, keeping things super clean and other ways we learn to cope. GUEST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC GUEST BIO J...
2022-06-2128 minUnapologetically SensitiveUS 143 How to deepen intimacy in relationships with Jen PerryHow to Deepen Intimacy in Relationships Many Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) overperform in relationships, or want more depth, but don't know how to do that. Jen and I talk about our gremlins, as well as how you can rest in the attachment in your relationships, so you can have more depth. We talk about how that security is achieved. This includes vulnerability and risking the loss of the relationship, but it also creates the possibility for meaningful connection, deep trust, fulfilling friendships and intimacy. GUEST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC GUEST B...
2022-06-1426 minUnapologetically Sensitive142 Being Present to our Wounded Parts, With Jen PerryBeing Present to our Wounded Parts Jen had a really tough week, & we talk about what it was like for her to start week feeling like she was too much, & her needs were too much. I was honored to be present for her this week, and she was able to work on healing that young part so she can be present for herself. When your parents can't attune with you, you believe that you and your needs are too much. Jen talks about what she did this week to help herself heal. Healing happens with others and doing inner w...
2022-06-0726 minUnapologetically SensitiveGetting Grounded and Orienting to Yourself, with Jen PerryGetting Grounded and Orienting to Yourself Many Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) learn to focus on everyone else's needs. The focus is external instead of internal. You don't learn how to focus on your perspective, your body, or your needs. This can be an orientation injury. The Highly Sensitive Person can see multiple perspectives, and based on your attachment patterns, this can make it harder (or easier) to focus on the needs, emotions and happiness of others. We explore how to get grounded in your sovereignty. GUEST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC GUEST...
2022-05-2425 minUnapologetically SensitiveFocusing on Your Needs, Emotions and Happiness, with Jen PerryFocusing on Your Needs, Emotions and Happiness Jen Perry talks about attachment patterns and how the Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) is often focused on what everyone else is feeling, wanting and needing. We talk about tools to identify what YOU are wanting. Jen talks about self-care and self-centering. We talk about self-talk, as well as the burden of the mental load that many of us carry. We also talk about perfectionism, gentle parenting and conscious parenting. How NOT to parent the power out of your child, and learn to have power with your child? GUEST...
2022-05-1026 minUnapologetically SensitiveSoftening, Surrendering, Accepting & Allowing with Jen PerrySoftening, Surrendering, Accepting & Allowing This episode focuses on being with whatever is going on to ease suffering when you want things to be different than they are. How can you accept things when it sucks? Jen and I talk about how we practice softening when things are hard. Jen talks about how she drops into her body to get information. How can you use noticing to ease tension and control? Jen also talks about how she has power with her children vs. power over her children. GUEST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC ...
2022-04-1924 minUnapologetically SensitiveGetting Grounded in Yourself Honoring Your NeedsGetting Grounded in Yourself & Honoring Your Needs Jen and I talk about how wounding can create over-functioning, over-responsibility, and rigidity at the expense of the human. We talk about stress responses and how to be more mindful and present for yourself while also bringing self-compassion. We literally take a break and do a short grounding exercise to get present. When you feel like you're not doing enough, we talk about tools to lower the bar so that you can rest in what you can do in order to be more present and grounded. GUEST
2022-03-2227 minUnapologetically SensitiveWelcoming Your Own Humanness with Self-CompassionWelcoming Your Own Humanness with Self-Compassion Guest host Jen Perry shares her gremlins about recording for me this week and being unapologetic about it. She talks about valuing self-compassion over self-esteem. Jen talks about how to slow the process down and create peace in the moment to help you soften. She talks about why curiosity and kindness support self-compassion. Jen talks about the perils of perfectionism as well as conflict. Jen quotes Kristin Neff by asking if you can "soften, soothe and allow." Jen also talks about parenting. GUEST HOST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA...
2022-03-0823 minUnapologetically SensitiveVulnerability and Intimacy in RelationshipsVulnerability and Intimacy in Relationships Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) often don't reach out when they need support because they are afraid that they will overwhelm others with their intense feelings, or that the other person won't be there for them, or will disappoint them. Jen and I talk about what it's like to show up for each other when we're having an emotionally intense time. We talk about the need for connection; the boundaries we set, and how we nurture our relationship. Jen talks about some of her fears related to the podcast. GUEST Jen...
2022-02-2226 minUnapologetically SensitiveListener Question: Being New in a Group that doesn't Understand the Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), with Jen PerryTITLE Listener Question: Being New in a Group that doesn't Understand the Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) GUEST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC EPISODE OVERVIEW A listener wrote in and asked how to be mindful when being new to a group that doesn't understand High Sensitivity. Jen and I talk about common barriers & fears that can come up when joining a group. We talk about confirmation bias and how that has shown up for both of us. We talk about specific tools like mindfulness and being curious, as well as allowing yourself...
2022-02-0123 minUnapologetically SensitiveSocial Anxiety and the Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), with Jen PerryTITLE Social Anxiety and the Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) GUEST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC EPISODE OVERVIEW A listener wrote in and said she has social anxiety and finds it hard to talk to people. She gets anxious that she won't be able to communicate her thoughts clearly, or that she'll be misunderstood, or she'll lose her train of thought. She also finds it difficult to talk about her own experiences and feelings, even when she's comfortable with the person, and she wants to share. We about tools the listener can use...
2022-01-1823 minUnapologetically SensitiveSocial Anxiety and Confidence as a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) with Jen PerryTITLE Social Anxiety and Confidence in the Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) GUEST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC EPISODE OVERVIEW A listener wrote in and said she doesn't feel like she's good at talking, and how can she manage her anxiety and gain confidence. We talk about how the wound of too much & not enough come into play, as well as teasing out if the listener knows what she wants to share, but gets too anxious, or if she can't identify what she is thinking and feeling. We talk about wa...
2022-01-0425 minUnapologetically SensitiveNurturing Authenticity in Relationships, with Jen PerryTITLE Nurturing Authenticity in Relationships GUEST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC EPISODE OVERVIEW We talk about how communication is an act of love and an act of service to the relationship. We talk about the wound of too much; taking responsibility for others' feelings, and the importance of attachment and repair work. We explore self-care, boundaries, reality checks and being authentic to see what the relationship can tolerate. We also talk about the gifts of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) and working with a spirited and spunky Highly Sensitive Child (HSC...
2021-12-2133 minUnapologetically SensitiveBoundaries, the Holidays and the Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), with Jen PerryTITLE Boundaries, the Holidays and The Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) GUEST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC EPISODE OVERVIEW Expectations around the holidays can cause stress, anxiety, and depression—especially for the Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). We focus on setting boundaries, redefining what you want the holidays to look like, and how you can communicate compassionately while maintaining boundaries; this includes setting and maintaining boundaries with narcissists or toxic people. We talk about expectations & disappointments and lowering the bar and letting go of having the picture-perfect holiday in order to experience peace, jo...
2021-12-0728 minUnapologetically SensitiveBeing Real And Normalizing Our Human ExperiencesTITLE Being Real and Normalizing Our Human Experience GUEST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC EPISODE OVERVIEW What if we believed that we don't always have to have our stuff together? The more real we can be, the more it allows others to be real. We need to normalize suffering, so we don't think something is wrong when we are not constantly feeling exuberant. We can accept that wounding happens. Misunderstandings and miscommunications are part of the human experience. How do we embrace our feelings and not be wrong? ...
2020-04-2847 minUnapologetically Sensitive10 Ways We Thrive as a Highly Sensitive Person, aka HSP Special 1 Year Anniversary EpisodeTITLE Ten Ways We Can Thrive As A Highly Sensitive Person, aka HSP Special 1 Year Podcast Anniversary Episode GUEST Solo Episode EPISODE OVERVIEW On the One Year Anniversary of this podcast launching, I talk about 10 different ways that I have grown, and how this relates to being a Highly Sensitive Person, aka HSP. I talk about perfectionism, being of service, naming things, asking for help & support, feeling the fear and being brave and courageous, authenticity, connecting, accepting challenges and living a fuller life. A...
2019-10-2928 minUnapologetically SensitiveOverall Struggles & Strengths of The Highly Sensitive Person with Jen PerryTITLE Overall Struggles & Strengths Highly Sensitive Person (HSPs) GUEST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC EPISODE OVERVIEW Jen and I talk about perfectionism, self-compassion, boundaries, self-care, HS superpowers, communication, vulnerability, authenticity, demystifying emotions, creating a lifestyle that honors the HSP, and mindfulness. These are some of the things that we notice Highly Sensitive Persons (HSPs) struggling with. Our primary intention is to give you an idea of what to expect in our upcoming online courses. Whether you are considering taking a group or not, this episode is a great way t...
2019-08-1351 minUnapologetically SensitivePerfectionism, Imposter Syndrome, Expectations & DisappointmentsBonus Episode 50 TITLE Perfectionism, Imposter Syndrome, Expectations and Disappointments GUEST Solo Episode EPISODE OVERVIEW As Highly Sensitive Persons (HSPs), it's not uncommon for us to judge when we are having big feels, or the feels last longer than we want them to. The feelings aren't what causes us to suffer; it's our reactions and judgment about our feelings. How do we learn to create space for big feels, disappointments, and how do we learn to really honor and appreciate the AMAZING gift...
2019-06-2523 minUnapologetically SensitiveOverall Struggles & Strengths Highly Sensitive Persons (HSPs) Experience with Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPCEPISODE OVERVIEW Jen and I talk about perfectionism, boundaries, self-care, HS superpowers, communication, vulnerability, authenticity, demystifying emotions, creating a lifestyle that honors the HSP, and mindfulness. These are some of the things that we notice Highly Sensitive Persons (HSPs) struggling with. Our primary intention is to give you an idea of what to expect in our upcoming online groups. Whether you are considering taking a group or not, this episode is a great way to identify your HS strengths and maybe see if there are areas you want to focus on. HIGHLIGHTS Je...
2019-05-0242 min